Key Stage 3 Prose: Artemis Fowl by Eoin Colfer



|ARTEMIS FOWL by Eoin Colfer |

Prologue

Artemis Fowl is a genius. He is a twelve-year-old criminal mastermind. He has a plan to restore his family’s fortune that could cause world-wide chaos!

Chapter 1 : The Book

Artemis and Butler are in Ho Chi Minh City (Saigon) in Vietnam to meet Nguyen. Butler is a bodyguard and is very well armed. Nguyen is leading them to a healer in the city. The healer is a very small woman who likes rice wine and is usually drunk. She lives under a fire escape and does not like the light. When Artemis speaks to her, she answers him in English. Artemis tells her he is Irish. He offers her half a bottle of whiskey. As she reaches out to grab it, he notices she has mottled green skin. She drinks the whole bottle. She offers to heal Artemis’s toothache. He tells her he is healthy but wants her book. When she tells him to go to a library, he says he knows she is a fairy. She threatens to kill him with her magic, but he laughs at her, as she no longer has any power left from always drinking wine. Artemis gives her options. He can leave without the book but she will be dead within a day. He has put holy water in the whiskey bottle and it will kill her. The second option is to lend him the book for thirty minutes, and he will then return her magic. He has two syringes with him. The first contains spring water from a fairy well beneath the Ring of Tara, which will neutralise the holy water the other is a man-made virus which regenerates her liver and removes all traces of alcohol from her system. She agrees to the second option. Artemis injects her with the spring water and she lends him a golden book the size of a matchbox. Butler photographs all the pages using a digital camera and emails it back to Fowl Manor in Dublin. He then administers the second dose.

The Butler family have always served the Fowl family. At the age of ten, Butler children are sent to a private training centre in Israel. Here they learn cordon bleu cooking, marksmanship, martial arts, emergency medicine and I.T. Artemis sees his Butler as an obedient father figure whilst Butler sees Artemis as a friend.

On the Heathrow connection from Bangkok, Artemis is translating the pages from the book. Butler wonders why Artemis did not leave the fairy to die. Artemis does not want the People to be suspicious. He also tells Butler he put an amnesiac in the second injection and she would not remember anything. Butler thinks Artemis is the greatest genius in the world.

Chapter 2 : Translation

Artemis is searching for gold. He first had the idea two years previously whilst surfing the Internet. He was looking for evidence of the existence of the People. Several stories mentioned that they each carried a book. It was like their Bible but was written in Gnommish (fairy text) and could therefore not be read by humans. Artemis believed that the book could be translated using modern technology. He offered a huge amount of money to anyone who could introduce him to a fairy. This was how he had come to be in Ho Cho Minh City. Artemis has a childlike belief in magic with an adult determination to exploit it.

Artemis and Butler arrive at Fowl Manor. Artemis wants to see his mother, Angeline Fowl, who is ill. She can hear noises that terrify her. She has been bedridden since the disappearance of his father a year ago. She does not always recognise Artemis and is very confused. Butler’s younger sister, Juliet, looks after her.

Artemis goes to his study to try and translate the book. He separates the characters and compares them to English, Chinese, Greek, Arabic, and Cyrillic. He has no success but perseveres. He then notices that the male symbol is similar to Anubis in Egyptian hieroglyphics. The earliest human stories have been about fairies and it appears the Egyptians have probably adapted the existing fairy writing. Artemis copies and compares each Gnommish symbol and finds an Egyptian counterpart. He presses ‘decode’ on the computer and out comes a long line of gibberish! Artemis knows he has the right symbols, but not in the right order. Eventually, he realises that they need to be read, beginning with the symbol in the centre and spiralling out to the edge. Artemis cuts and reassembles the symbols to be read from left to right and presses ‘decode’ once again on the computer. The screen says File Converted. Artemis presses ‘print’ and out comes a single sheet of paper:

The Booke of the People. Being instructions to our magicks and life rules

Carry me always, carry me well

I am thy teacher of herb and spell.

I am thy link to power arcane.

Forget me and thy magick shall wane.

Ten times ten commandments there be.

They will answer every mystery.

Cures, curses, alchemy.

These secrets shall be thine, through me.

But, Fairy, remember this above all.

I am not for those in mud that crawl.

And forever doomed shall be the one,

Who betrays my secrets one by one.

Artemis is excited and exhausted. There are another forty-three pages of the book to be translated. He calls for Butler and Juliet to come and help him.

The Fowls have always been criminals. Artemis’ father invested a huge chunk of the family fortune establishing shipping links to Russia. The Russian Mafia did not like a Westerner muscling in on their territory and sent a missile to blow up the ship Artemis Senior was travelling on. The ship was carrying a cargo of 250,000 cans of cola. It was a very large explosion. Although the Fowls were not poor, they were no longer billionaires. Artemis Fowl vowed to remedy this.

When Artemis has finished translating the Book, he starts to make plans to get the gold that each fairy owns. He goes to the office he has inherited from his father. It is jam-packed with computers. One computer permanently screens CNN onto a screen at the back of the room. Artemis believes CNN will be the first to get any news of his fathers’ rescue. Artemis asks Butler to switch off all the computers, including this one, as he needs peace and quiet to work out his plans.

Chapter 3 : Holly

Holly Short is in a bad mood. She is an elf whose job is to be a leprechaun. She has nut-brown skin, cropped auburn hair and hazel eyes. She is one metre in height, exactly one centimetre below the fairy average height. She is the first female officer in Recon’s history and Commander Root is very angry that she is assigned to his squad. Holly is also worried that she has not performed the ritual and is running low on magic. If the Commander finds out, she will be transferred to Traffic. Holly lives near the earth’s core. The last human-free zone. She has a smart green LEPrecon uniform. LEP stands for Lower Element Police, and the word ‘leprechaun’ originated from this. Holly struggles through the crowds to get to work. The goblin/dwarf turf war has flared up, and the goblin parents are outside the police station demanding the release of their offspring. Holly has never met an innocent goblin! Holly carries a buzz baton. She can give an electric shock with it. As she enters the police station, she see Mulch, a kleptomaniac dwarf picking the pockets of everyone else in the booking line, including the officer he is handcuffed to. Holly prods him with her buzz baton and everything he has stolen falls out of his sleeves. Holly tells the officer with him to be more careful. Commander Root calls her into his office. He wants to throw her out of the LEPrecon unit. Whilst he is talking to her, there is an emergency. A troll has escaped to the surface in Italy and Commander Root sends Holly to find him. She makes her way to the chutes and is blasted to the surface by Foaly, the centaur in charge of transportation. She puts on motorised fairy wings and follows the trail of destruction left by the troll. The troll reaches the city walls and breaks through them into a restaurant. Fairies can only enter if invited and Holly hears a child calling for help. She uses this as an invitation to go into the restaurant. Because she is low on magic, humans can see her. She fights with the troll and gets hurt. She manages to stun the troll and waits for help to arrive. Commander Root wipes the human’s memories and thanks Holly for saving all the human lives. He tells her to go away and not to return until she has performed the ritual and is full of magic again.

Chapter 4 : Abduction

Artemis’s main problem is how to locate a leprechaun. Leprechauns are clever. They have never been photographed nor had their gold taken. Artemis calls Butler and Juliet to help him. He tells them there is a ritual that fairies undertake to renew their magic. They pick a seed from an ancient oak tree by a bend in the river at full moon. Artemis has run a cross-reference through the weather satellites and found there are one hundred and twenty nine matching sites in Ireland. Artemis hands Juliet a typewritten sheet of A4 papers detailing alterations to be made to the cellar in preparation for the leprechaun’s arrival. Butler wonders why they did not take the fairy in Ho Chi Minh City. Artemis tells him that once a fairy drinks with Mud People (humans), they are forever dead to the fairy world. Artemis gives Butler a list of items they will need for the stakeouts at each site. Butler is puzzled that the list includes sunglasses.

Holly is flying over Europe on her way to Ireland. She is very upset when she sees the damage pollution has caused to dolphins. Holly looks on her wrist locater for a magical hotspot. When she arrives, she checks her wrist locater again for life forms. There is only a cow two fields away so she cuts her engine and lands by the ancient oak.

Artemis and Butler have been on stakeouts for four months. Butler dreads the long nights of damp and insect bites. Artemis has invented a foil-lined hide that does not allow any heat to escape. They cannot be detected. Artemis looks unhappy. He tells Butler he is very worried about his mother and immediately the proximity alarm flashes red.

Holly hooks her wings over a low branch, takes off her helmet and looks for an acorn. All she has to do is plant it somewhere else and her magic will return.

Butler scans the area and tells Artemis there is a small figure by the tree. Artemis straps the mirrored sunglasses to his forehead and Butler picks up a specially adapted stun gun. At the precise moment Butler fires the gun, the fairy bends down.

Holly is aware someone is firing at her. She curls into a ball and draws her pistol. A large hand grabs her then a boy asks her to surrender. Holly refuses, telling him she will use her magic against him. The boy laughs and tells her he knows all about the ritual, and he knows she has no magic left. Holly tries to hypnotise him using mesmer, but the boy pulls on his sunglasses for protection. As a hypodermic needle pierces her skin, Holly wonders how a human can know all about fairies. Butler picks up the helmet and shows it to Artemis. Artemis is amazed it has a nuclear power source. Butler shoves the fairy into a duffel bag.

Chapter 5 : Missing in Action

Commander Root is smoking a smelly fungus cigar. It smells even worse than the troll does. Foaly tells him to put it out as it damages the computers and then tells the Commander that they have lost contact with Captain Holly Short. Foaly is the only one who can be rude to Commander Root as he invented the transportation system and is the only one who can operate it. There is a virus in the system that will destroy everything if anyone else touches the controls. They watch a tape from the camera in Holly’s helmet. They see her helmet fall to the ground and hear the voices of Artemis and Butler. Foaly is tracking Holly with the locator on her wrist. Commander Root gets a team ready to go and rescue her, which he will lead.

Artemis discovers the translator. He is amazed by the advanced technology and knows he can make a lot of money patenting the ideas. Artemis instructs Butler to drive them to the Japanese whaler tied up at the docks.

Commander Root is nervous about travelling up to the surface in the chutes. Foaly tells him not to worry. It is like riding a unicorn – you never forget.

Artemis is trying to alter the locator without damaging it. He manages to open the back using magnets and inserts a tiny buttonhole camera into it. As they reach the docks, Artemis wants a diversion. Butler goes over to the dockers and starts a fight with them by insulting them and their mothers. Artemis does not tell Butler why he needs a diversion but Butler is sure it is necessary.

Commander Root emerges from the pod, shaking as he has not enjoyed the journey, and makes his way to the passenger lounge at Tara. He has stopped all flights and there is an angry mob of gremlins waiting for him. He silences them, calls for the elf/goblin hybrid in charge and orders a complete evacuation of the shuttle port. Commander Root tells him the Mud People have committed an overtly hostile act.

Captain Holly Short wakes up with the worst headache she has ever had. It feels as if her brains are being sucked out through her ears. She tries to call for help, but her mouth will not form the word, and her body has no strength. Something is digging into her ankle. A female voice asks her if she is awake. She recognises the language to be English. Holly struggles to open one eye and sees what she thinks is a giant blonde fly looking down at her. It is a girl in a pair of sunglasses. Holly realises she has been abducted by two humans during the Ritual, who have an extraordinary knowledge of fairy affairs. She looks for her locator and realises everything has been taken away from her. The girl tells her that Artemis Fowl has all her weapons and gadgets. Holly has fairy intuition and the name ‘Artemis Fowl’ makes her shiver. Holly wants to use mesmer on the girl but cannot hypnotise through reflective sunglasses. She wonders how the humans know so much about fairy customs. Holly tries to flatter the girl, telling her she would love to see her pretty eyes. The girl knows Holly is just trying to hypnotise her and keeps her sunglasses on. When Holly threatens her, she laughs and tells her when a fairy is in a human dwelling, they have to do whatever the humans want, and she wants her to remain on the bed. Again, Holly wonders how they know so much about fairies. Holly thinks she knows what is digging in her ankle and starts to form a plan.

Commander Root is tracking the beam from Holly’s locator. The map he has of Dublin is over a hundred years out of date. Foaly updates his screen and Commander Root continues his search. The locator appears to be out at sea. Commander Root sees an old whaling boat and asks Foaly to scan the inside. Foaly cannot do this as the hull has a high lead content. He then asks Foaly to make sure the Retrieval Squad is on full alert. Commander Root knows he cannot use technology and is on his own, using just his wits and possibly a touch of magic. With his shield activated, he is invisible to human eyes. He lands on the deck and makes his way down a hatch. There are no humans here, just rats, dangerous because they can see through fairy shields. He continues along a passage, ignoring doors either side, following the signal from Holly’s locator. Ten metres away is a steel hatch, behind which should be the body of Holly. Commander Root opens the unlocked door, sets his gun to a higher stun level, and enters the room. It is a freezer storage room. Stalactites hang from pipes, but there is no one else in the room. There are no signs of life on his wrist locator. Commander Root hears a voice. It tells him he has been brought there for a demonstration and he has come to the wrong place to rescue Holly Short. There is a low crate in the centre, on which is an attaché case. He looks in the case. Inside are a flat vacuum packed package, a triple-band VHS transmitter and Holly’s locator. A light flickers in the package and Commander Root realises it is a semtex bomb. The voice sends greetings from Artemis Fowl the Second. Commander Root only just gets out in time before the whole ships goes up in flames. He tells Foaly to find out everything he can about Artemis Fowl.

Chapter 6 : Siege

Artemis is pleased with the explosion. It shows the fairies he is serious and destroys the whaler. Artemis does not like whalers. He thinks there are better ways to produce oil by-products. Artemis looks at Holly on his monitor. He has not expected her to appear so human. On his way to see her, Juliet stops him and tells him his father has returned and his mother will not let her into her room. Artemis hurries to his mother’s room. He stands outside her door and can hear her talking and laughing. When he goes in, he is upset to see his father has not returned. Angeline is wearing her wedding dress and talking to a model she has made out of his father’s clothes. She thinks Artemis is her father. Artemis leaves to go and see Holly.

Holly is pretending to still have a headache whilst searching for the object that has slipped into her boot. It is the acorn. All she needs is a piece of earth to plant it in, and her magic will return. Artemis enters the room without her hearing. He too is wearing sunglasses. He orders Holly to sit and is amused by the fact that she has to obey him when she would obviously like to hurt him. He calls her Captain, and Holly wonders how he knows her rank. She is amazed when he says he read it from her name badge as it is written in Gnommish. She tells Artemis that bringing their two worlds together could result in disaster. She asks Artemis if he wants world domination. When he replies he is after fairy gold, she tells him that he is just a thief. She also tells him that the crock of gold that each fairy is supposed to have is rubbish. Artemis says he knows that. He is after the hostage fund. Holly is shocked that he knows about it. Artemis pretends he has drugged Holly and she has told him everything about the fairy world. Holly is distraught that she has given away all the secrets. She asks Artemis if he knows what will happen when her people locate her. He says yes, and Holly asks him if he has ever seen a troll.

Commander Root has established LEP headquarters at Tara. He asks Foaly what information he has on Artemis Fowl. Foaly hacks into the Interpol computer. There is a huge file on the whole family, including the location of Fowl Manor, which is nearby. Commander Root wants to set off straight away before the sun comes up. Fairies are night creatures and the sun dilutes their magic. He orders his team to fly in a V formation and land in the perimeter of the estate. Foaly is worried that Artemis has made it too easy to find him and thinks Artemis is always one step ahead of them. He also tells him Artemis is only twelve years old.

The centre of the Fowl Estate is a castle, built by Lord Hugh Fowl in the fifteenth century. As the Retrieval Squad lands, Root orders a complete sweep of the area, starting at the perimeter. Lieutenant Cudgeon suggests using a blue rinse. This is a biological bomb that kills all living organisms within a specific area without altering the landscape or buildings. Root refuses because it would also kill Holly.

Butler is watching the monitors. He too does not hear Artemis come into the room. Artemis has bought and installed a new camera, which takes two thousand frames a second. He freeze-frames the image and sees twelve black-clad figures. Artemis has altered Holly’s headset to fit Butler. They try out all the filters until they come to the anti-shield filter. Now Butler can see the fairies, Artemis sends him to get rid of them. He tells him to scare them away rather than kill them.

Captain Trouble Kelp is leading his team down the avenue. He checks in with each member of the team. Number four does not reply. He orders his team to regroup by the front door. He notices four is slumped by the door and there is the biggest human standing there he has ever seen. He tells his men not to worry, as they cannot be seen. They regroup in a circle on the lawn and the man begins to move, until he is standing in the centre of their circle. The man removes his hood and speaks to them. The fairies see he is wearing Holly’s headgear and know that he can see them.

Butler could pick them off one-by-one from the parapet but he wants to make an impression. Captain Kelp is the first to be hit by a titanium dart. Two more are hit before the squad realises what is happening. Butler hesitates for a moment, feeling sorry for the fairies, when one of them hits him in the chest with a buzz baton. The electric shock makes his sympathy for the little people vanish instantly. Butler picks up the fairy with the buzz baton and throws him into three of his colleagues. He punches two more fairies and another two jumps onto his back, using their buzz batons. He easily gets them off. One fairy manages to prime his weapon and points it directly at Butler. Butler hits out at him and sends him sprawling to the ground. All the fairies are lying on the ground, scared and still alive. He picks up one and tells him not to come back as next time he will kill them all with a rifle from the safety of the castle. He will allow unarmed medics to come and get the wounded and tells the fairy to send an important negotiator, not one who has to keep reporting back to headquarters.

Holly lifts her bed and smashes it into the freshly concreted wall. A few splinters and dust fall down. She does this a few times until Juliet bursts into the room. Holly tells Juliet she is hungry and wants something to eat. She sarcastically asks for dolphin but then says washed fruit will be fine. When Juliet leaves, Holly carries on smashing the bed into the wall.

Artemis has added a monitor to his mother’s room. He checks on her. She is fast asleep, having taken a sleeping pill left by Juliet on her tray. Butler comes in with the fairy headgear and weapons he has collected from his fight. They watch Holly trying to escape from her room. They laugh, knowing the castle is built on solid rock and mistakenly think even a dwarf could not tunnel in or out.

Foaly is busy attaching satellite dishes to the watchtowers of the castle. When they are all in place, he will be able to stop time for eight hours. He is upset that Root does not appreciate he is a technological genius. Foaly tries to tell Root that there is a slight problem but Root does not listen. He orders Foaly to press the switch immediately, before it gets light and they lose their powers. Cudgeon is busy arming a bio-bomb in order to blue rinse the property if anything goes wrong. Foaly warns Root to watch his back with Cudgeon. Root and Cudgeon are old friends and Root thinks Foaly is wrong about him. He also tells Root that he think Artemis Fowl wants them to stop time. Root is to be the negotiator. Foaly wants him to go unarmed and without body armour or headgear. Root is not happy about this, so Foaly tells him about a secret weapon he has developed. It is a finger to slip over Root’s finger. The finger contains one pressurised dart. Foaly then slips a contact lens into Root’s eye that is also a camera.

Artemis notices that his watch has stopped. This confirms to him that the fairies really can stop time. He checks the CNN screen. The picture flickers slightly, but is no longer moving. He then checks his mother’s room. It is empty and Artemis smiles. Finally he checks the monitor in Holly’s room. She is still banging against the wall in frustration. Artemis is beginning to wonder if she is up to something. He is distracted by the arrival of Root.

Artemis is looking sinister, trying to appear evil but highly intelligent. Root is at the door, palms up to show he is not carrying any weapons. They exchange names. Root tries to get Artemis to come outside but Artemis refuses and taunts Root. Root becomes angry and Artemis taunts him some more. Artemis gives Root permission to enter the house. Artemis tells Root that he can expose his world and he would be powerless to stop him. He also tells him he is aware of the time stop. Artemis demands one tonne of twenty-four-carat gold in small, unmarked ingots. Artemis tells Root it will be no good detonating a bio-bomb as he has found a way to escape the time-field. Root thinks for a while and stands up to leave. Artemis reminds him that none of his people have permission to enter whilst he is still alive. Root is thinking hard and decides not to play by the rules.

Professors Cumulus and Argon are studying the tape from the iris-cam, but cannot agree on what they see. They are bickering and each thinks the other is an idiot! Root enters, bangs his fist loudly on the table and calls for silence. Root removes the camera from his eye and tells Foaly to fast-forward it to the point where Artemis says he can escape the time-field. Both Professors ask to see just the eyes on the tape, and agree that they think Artemis is telling the truth, or believes he is telling the truth. Root thinks Artemis is either a genius or crazy. Root straps on his triple-blaster and asks for a line to E1.

Chapter 7 : Mulch

Diggums Mulch, the kleptomaniac dwarf is in a stone walled cell, quaking in his boots, as the other inhabitants are goblins, the sworn enemies of dwarfs. Mulch thinks he might have been put in there for attempting to pick the arresting officer’s pockets. Mulch has forfeited his magic to be able to enter Mud Peoples dwellings without permission. Dwarves can tunnel through mud by unhinging their jaws, eating huge amounts of mud, digesting the useful minerals and excreting the remains. They have a super efficient metabolism. The head goblin accuses Mulch of patronising him and Mulch is seriously considering unhinging his jaw and swallowing him. The goblin makes a fireball around his fist. Dwarves hate fire. Mulch mumbles that he is only trying to be friendly. The goblin sniffs up the fireball, ready to snort it at Mulch. Mulch jams his fingers up the goblin’s nostrils and the fireball backfires, coming out of the goblin’s eyes. The other goblins see their leader on the floor and attack Mulch. Mulch unhinges his jaw and grabs a goblin’s head in his mouth. At this point, LEPrecon officers come in and take Mulch away.

Mulch is taken to the time-field. Root offers to reduce his sentence if he will break into Fowl Manor. He also tells Mulch not to steal anything. Root does not realise that Mulch has already palmed his field-access card. Foaly places an iris-cam in Mulch’s eye. He then places a tiny cylinder into the tufts of hair growing from Mulch’s ear. This enables him to call for assistance. Root drags Mulch to a cluster of cherry trees and orders him to tunnel into the house and find out how Fowl knows so much about them. Root thinks it may be surveillance equipment and tells him to destroy it. He also tells him to find Holly and help her if he can. Mulch is not happy as all he can smell is solid rock but Root has done a scan which shows the wine cellar in the South Wing has a wooden floor and is built on clay. Mulch undoes the bum-flap on his trousers and begins to tunnel down. Using his own in-built sonar, he locates the wine cellar and breaks through the wooden floorboards into the room. He carefully climbs the wooden steps to the locked door, quickly and easily picks the lock, and finds himself in a corridor. There are cameras just below the architrave. Foaly broadcasts a loop of the last ten minutes on each camera, giving Mulch time to sneak down the corridor. He comes to ornately carved stairs, and begins to climb. When he reaches the landing, he has another problem. Swallowing loosely packed soil with lots of air in it has given him wind, which he needs to get rid of. It is very powerful, and expels any bits of loose clay. Dwarf etiquette demands that all wind is passed in tunnels but Mulch has forgotten to do this. If passed indoors, it can blow out windows. Mulch goes through the first doorway. In the room are more cameras. Four are surveying the general floorspace and three are fixed. Mulch asks Foaly to check what exactly the three fixed cameras are pointing at. Foaly tells him they are aimed at a picture of Artemis Fowl Senior. Using x-ray vision in his eye-cam, Mulch sees there is a safe behind the picture, and can see how the lock operates. In seconds, he opens the safe. All that is in there is human currency. Mulch is about to swing the picture back into place when he realises that it is thicker than it should be. He opens the back of the picture to reveal a smaller safe. This one is lead-lined and the x-rays cannot see through it. There is a noise in the hall outside. Someone is coming! Mulch opens the safe door to find a smaller, thinner door with a tiny lock. He picks the lock and swings open the door. He gasps at what he sees in there. He grabs the contents, but the shock sets off his trapped wind problem. His stomach bubbles and gurgles and then it escapes, blowing open his bum-flap and slamming into the large gentleman who has sneaked up behind him.

Artemis is staring at the monitors, worrying about what can go wrong. Juliet is in the kitchen, Holly is on her bunk and Butler is standing outside Holly’s cell. Artemis is puzzled. Butler should be on his rounds. He calls Butler on the walkie-talkie, who tells him he is on his rounds. Artemis looks closely at the tape and notices there is a slight blip every ten seconds. He quickly realises what has happened and reboots the cameras. He sends Butler running to the safe room and calls Juliet to go and check on Holly. When the cameras are working again, he sees a grotesque figure in the safe room, which Butler is sneaking up on. He then checks on Holly and works out that she must have an acorn with her. He cannot get hold of Juliet to stop her opening the door because she has dropped her walkie-talkie. As Butler reaches the dwarf, he is blasted off his feet and out of the room by flying tunnel waste and wind.

Holly is weakening. She sees a sliver of brown amongst the grey dust and quickly plants the acorn. Her magic returns. She is planning on getting Artemis to give her permission to leave. Juliet enters the room. It appears to be empty. Juliet removes her glasses to get a better look. Just then, Holly materialises in front of her. Her voice is hypnotic and Juliet obeys her. Juliet tells her that there are only three people in the house and that Root is negotiating with Artemis for her release. Holly tricks Juliet into remaining in her cell, and makes her believe she is seeing a wall size television with wrestling on for twenty-four hours a day.

Mulch tries to escape, clasping the book. He sees Holly near the cellar door and gives her the book. Holly is surprised to see him but then remembers he has no magic.

Artemis is watching everything on the monitors. Although it looks bad, it is not hopeless. Artemis still has several more copies of the book he has made, including one in a Swiss vault. He hopes someone in the fairy team will spot the ‘deliberate’ blunder he has made in his negotiations with Root.

Mulch is nearly caught by Butler as he burrows down through the cellar and implements his escape plan. He makes his way towards the rabbit warren. Mulch looks away, catches a rabbit and transfers the iris-cam to it’s eye. He screams there is a cave-in and strangles the rabbit. He escapes whilst RECON thinks he is dead.

Chapter 8 : Troll

Root is calling Mulch but getting no reply. Foaly tells him his heart is beating fast, like rabbits, then stops. There is no more life signs. Foaly is suspicious. He is about to tell Root what he thinks has happened but is interrupted by the door opening. It is Professors Argon and Cumulus, both talking excitedly. They replay the tape to the part where Root is leaving and Artemis tells him that no one has permission to enter whilst he is still alive. This can be interpreted to mean that they can enter when he is dead. Root is not sure that it would be legal but Foaly convinces him. Root calls the Council to get approval for the gold. The plan is to send in the gold, get back Holly, blue rinse the place then stroll in and reclaim the gold. Root is very tired. Time lag is beginning to set in. His brain won’t let him sleep because he was awake when the time-stop was started, but his body is crying out for rest.

Cudgeon and his troops are on their way to see Root. Cudgeon has been to see the Council behind Root’s back and has had his plan approved. He wants to send in the troll. Root is horrified, as trolls are dumb animals that cannot follow instructions. Cudgeon thinks that it does not need instructions. It is to be released into the house. The occupants will beg to come and be rescued and with a bit of luck, it will be under control again before it can get to Holly. Root realises that Foaly had been right not to trust Cudgeon. He wanted a place on the Council and was prepared to sacrifice their friendship to get it. olly. Cudgeon tells Root that the Council has put him and his men in charge. Foaly tells Cudgeon that he has only one chance and he personally would not like his future to be in the hands of a troll. Cudgeon goes pale and Root congratulates Foaly when Cudgeon has gone. Root then tells Foaly to lobby all his supporters on the Council, in readiness to implement his plan when the other fails.

Holly has a plan. She will sneak around while invisible, reclaiming fairy weapons and cause as much havoc as she can. She thinks any damage caused will be a bonus. Holly feels good, as she is now the hunter. She follows the sound of voices. As Butler comes out of a room, she quickly slips in, before the door shuts. Artemis is in there with anti-shield filters attached to his sunglasses. He can see Holly and greets her. He reminds Holly that she is still bound by the promises made earlier. Holly ignores him and scans the room. She finds the fairy armour and selects a helmet. As soon as she puts it on, she can hear Foaly’s voice warning her that Cudgeon is now in charge and sending in a troll. Holly, knowing that Butler is not in the room, punches Artemis hard on the nose. Holly then tells Foaly that there is no loop on the cameras and the humans can see everything. Cudgeon is on the avenue with his band of handpicked sprites. They are controlling a five-metre-tall hovercage, positioning it at the front door. When the cage is opened, the troll will only have one way to go – into the house. Holly checks the other monitors. She sees Butler dragging his sister from the cell. She straps on a pair of mechanical wings and slips a weapon into her holster. She tells Artemis that she is in charge now and if he is a good boy, she will buy him a lolly. Artemis is dumbstruck. Artemis is pulled out of his stupor by the sound of the front door imploding.

Cudgeon checks with his men that the door has been destroyed and orders the release of the troll.

Butler is worried about his sister. It is the first time he has left Artemis unguarded. When he has rescued Juliet from the cell, he receives a message from Artemis telling him to take cover. He ducks behind a suit of armour in the main hall. He sees the front door explode and realises he needs to get to higher ground before the smoke clears. However, he still has Juliet over his shoulders, and she is spouting nonsense. He cannot risk moving and exposing her to danger. He hides her behind a tapestry and loads his gun. He looks at the creature and judges it to be a very large, unfriendly ape. But it isn’t an ape. Apes don’t have glowing eyes or small, serrated tusks. Butler is aware that this is the perfect fighting machine. It cannot distinguish between men and fairies – it will kill everything in its path. The troll sniffs in his direction. It suddenly jumps to where Butler is hiding. Juliet is still hypnotised and thinks the troll is a wrestler. Butler shoots the troll twice in the chest before the troll pierces his flak jacket with his tusks, slicing through his lung, whilst delivering a narcotic which takes away the pain and will make Butler die laughing. He tosses Butler against the wall, breaking many of his bones. The troll is puzzled by the lack of fear in Juliet, but this will not stop him eating her. He loves open-air meat!

Holly is flying above the troll. She is thinking up a plan to use the light. She thinks it is too late to save Butler but she can help Juliet. Holly uses the Sonix button on her helmet. Nothing happens! The troll is probably deaf. Holly has no choice other than to do battle with the beast again. She flies down, catching the beast on its head with her heels. The force makes Holly’s knee ‘pop’. It is very painful. Holly lands on the troll’s back. The troll gets hold of her helmet and lifts her to face him. Holly is in terrible pain and cannot think straight. She knows she has a plan, but cannot think what it is. She hears Foaly and Root telling her to use the light button on her helmet. Sadly for Holly, she has grabbed one of the helmets cannibalised by Artemis and nothing works on it. The lights are there, but the wiring has been disconnected. This explains why the Sonix didn’t work. Holly headbutts the troll with her helmet. Normally, this would be a useless effort, but this time, it jerks a wire back into place and four hundred watts of bright light blast through the troll’s crimson eye. The resulting spasm makes the troll drop Holly. She lands by the same tapestry Butler is lying behind. Holly is amazed to see he is still alive. She touches him and starts to heal him with her magic. She is also healing herself. The camera on her helmet has broken.

The troll has a dilemma – which female to eat first. He decides to eat Juliet, as her flesh is softer – not tough like fairy muscle. He places a claw above the jugular.

Butler wakes up. His whole body is hurting and his neck is at an impossible angle. He glances down to see blue sparks dancing along his body, settling at the wounds. He knows fairy magic is healing him. He turns his head, wincing at the grating of his vertebrae. There is an elfin arm resting on his arm, and this is where the blue sparks are coming from. Butler can feel his bones mending and his strength returning. Soon he is stronger than he formerly was. He slowly gets up and looks for a weapon. His foot steps on a piece of door debris.

Root is urging Foaly to get the back-up camera to work on Holly’s helmet. When the picture comes through, Root is dumbstruck. He cannot explain to Foaly what is happening and tells Foaly to come and watch for himself.

Holly watches through a gap in the tapestry. She too, is having difficulty believing what she is seeing. Butler is strapping on a suit of armour. He closes his visor and lifts up a vicious mace. Holly cannot believe he is going to fight the troll. Butler swings the mace round then rams it between the troll’s shoulder blades. Butler will do anything to save and protect his sister. The troll turns towards him, sliding out all ten talons. Butler is now in charge. In his calming, authoritative voice, he tells the troll to move away from Juliet. The troll tries to scare Butler by howling, but Butler ignores it and carries on talking in a firm manner. As the troll hesitates, Butler strikes with his mace and gun. The bullets do not penetrate the troll’s thick skull but they do give him concussion. Butler carries on hitting the troll until it is on the ground, whimpering in pain. Butler gets ready to shoot the troll under its chin when Holly calls out and stops him. She tells Butler he owes her a favour for saving Juliet’s life. Butler heaves the unconscious troll onto a trolley and pushes him out of the door, ready for the fairies to deal with.

Root and Foaly are amazed.

Chapter 9 : Ace in the Hole

Artemis tries the doorknob but gets a burnt hand. Holly has blasted the handle with her weapon to keep him in his room. He follows the action on the monitors. He knows LEP have sent the troll in to make him call for help. This would be like giving them an invitation to enter. As Artemis watches, he feels proud of Butler. Artemis activates the radio and asks to speak to Root. Foaly goads him before handing over to Root. Artemis tells Root he has half an hour to bring the gold. He also tells him that he knows how to escape the time field. Because the troll was sent in, if he does not get the gold, he will not take Holly with him when they blue rinse the property. Root tells him human technology is way behind that of the fairies and he does not believe him. However, he is not prepared to risk Holly being killed, so he agrees to get the gold. Artemis is glad they spotted his deliberate mistake. By inviting them to blue rinse the property by telling them they could not come in whilst he was alive, he guaranteed they would send in the gold.

Butler fires his gun at the doorframe of the room Artemis is trapped in and enters. He wonders why Holly has saved their lives. He feels guilty keeping her hostage when she has saved their lives. Artemis promises that Holly will be returned to her people. He also promises that no harm will come to Juliet.

Cudgeon is trying to put the blame on Root. Foaly pretends that they ran out of film and did not get the proof he will need at his hearing with the Council. Root then tells Cudgeon that he is back in charge again. Cudgeon is so angry, he attacks Foaly. Root points his finger at Cudgeon and accidentally sets off the secret weapon on his finger. The dart sinks into Cudgeon’s neck and he falls to the floor. Foaly tells Root he will be unconscious for several hours.

Holly is worried about the bio-bomb. She is not concerned about Artemis being blown up, but feels Juliet is an innocent bystander. She asks Artemis if Butler and Juliet know about the bio-bomb. He says they do, and that they can escape the time-stop. Butler and Juliet say they trust Artemis.

Root orders the gold to be placed on a hover trolley and sent up to Artemis. Foaly warns him that they only have fifteen minutes until the time-stop breaks up. Butler checks the trolley for booby traps when it arrives and finds a camera that he removes. They open the bag and look at the gold. Butler checks that it is real. Artemis tells him to unload the trolley and send it back with Holly. Holly tries desperately to make Artemis give back the gold. She is trying to think of a way of using her magic but it is no use. Artemis asks her what he can do to buy one wish from her.

Root has a migraine and Foaly is still operating the controls. A motion sensor goes off near the front door and Root tells Foaly to magnify the picture. Holly is coming out with the gold!

Holly is rushed to Root who is really pleased to see her. Holly tells him that she has managed to rescue about half the gold. Root tells her he is about to detonate the bio-bomb. Holly is upset and she is worried about hurting Juliet. Root reminds Holly that if Artemis lives then he wins. The Book says that if a mud man gets hold of gold and lives, then he gets to keep the money. Root orders Foaly to press the button.

Butler is surprised Artemis has given back half the gold. Artemis tells him it was a reward for Holly helping them. He does not tell Butler about the wish. Artemis wants to celebrate with champagne and has poured out three glasses. Juliet checks with Butler who tells her to drink it. Butler and Juliet drain their glasses. Butler has just enough time to taste the tranquilliser before they both sink to the ground. Artemis then drinks his champagne and also sinks to the floor.

Holly, Root and Foaly watch on screens as the bio-bomb enters the front door and explodes. Blue light spreads to every corner of the building, killing everything in its path. Root orders Holly to put on her blackout suit and return with Root and RECON to identify the bodies. Root tells them their mission is to recover the gold and look out for booby traps. Everyone is feeling nervous. To Holly, the manor smelt of death – millions of insects, and the corpses of spiders and mice. Holly checks with an x-ray scanner and tells them the entrance is clear. Foaly tells her there is no radiation. Holly enters to lead the way to the gold. The officers following are making a strange sound. Holly turns to see them retching and vomiting. They are all feeling ill. Root elbows past them, and as soon as he steps into the hall, he too vomits. Holly asks Foaly what the problem is. Foaly tells her Artemis must still be alive and this is why the others are all having a severe allergic reaction. They do not have permission to enter whilst Artemis is still alive. This means they cannot retrieve the gold. Holly enters as Artemis has already taken her into the house and has not ordered her not to return. She finds the gold but is ordered not to touch it. Holly knows that Artemis will try again and she is determined to be ready for him next time. She cannot find any bodies.

Outside, where the trolley is parked, the ground is soft. Mulch Diggums surfaces. He can smell the gold. He steals two dozen ingots, knowing that by the time they realise some of the gold is missing, it will be too late to trace where it went. Mulch is going to live on the surface as a very rich dwarf who hates daylight. He will buy a penthouse apartment in Manhattan and put thick blinds over the windows. RECON will never find him there.

Artemis hears someone calling his name. He wakes to find Butler standing over him. Butler demands an explanation. Artemis explains that you have to remain in the same state during a time-stop. Artemis forced them to sleep using tranquillisers and this enabled them to escape. He then goes to check on his mother. She is coming down the stairs and is completely healed. This is what his wish was. Artemis is very happy but knows he is going to have to be even more devious in the future.

Epilogue

Artemis did not heal his mother out of sentimentality. Social Services were about to remove him from the family’s care, so he needed her to get better. Artemis carried on exploiting the People and Holly Short became the leading expert in these cases.

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