5 Questions To Get Unstuck and To Promote Positive ...

[Pages:1]5 Questions To Get Unstuck and To Promote Positive Personal Growth Ron Kaiser, Ph.D.,

1.

Are you a fortune teller?

This is question to ask when the patient holds back from trying something new or hard or uncertain.

2. What can go right? This is the question to ask when you find the patient catastrophizing and becoming immobilized by overthinking.

Under those circumstances, there is not much likelihood of thinking about what can go right unless there is a conscious effort to do so.

3. What does that have to do with you?

This is a question that I have found helpful when working with victims of abuse, trauma, unfairness or irrational behavior from a supervisor, spouse, or other family member.

Recognizing that somebody else's inappropriate behavior has nothing to do with you can be a helpful first step in personal growth (e.g., if an abusive parent had a different daughter, s/he would have still been abusive).

4. How is this getting you where you want to go?

In Goal--Achieving Psychotherapy, we set goals.

This is the question that I ask when someone doesn't find the time to do their homework or sabotages progress in some other way.

(It's also the question I as myself a lot to try to stay motivated)

5. What can you do now to make good things happen? The bottom line is behavior change.

Getting better is not a spectator sport.

While the first four questions are essentially reactive, this question is a reminder that each of us is responsible for implementing must personal behavior change.

To learn more about using questions for change:

1.

Marilee Goldberg, The Art of the Question.

2.

James, Morse, & Howarth, The Science and Art of Asking Questions in

Cognitive Therapy (Behavioural and Cognitive Psychotherapy, 2010).

3.

Tony Stoltzfus, Coaching Questions: A Coach's Guide to Powerful Asking Skills.

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