SELF: Define Your Character - Activity 1



Reel Life Parenting Activities

Using Quotes from Reel Life Wisdom

To Have Meaningful Conversations with Your Kids

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Reel Life Wisdom Activities

Your life is a movie. You are the director and star of that movie. The following activities can help you to make your life’s movie legendary. They are also useful in family, small group, or classroom discussions.

SELF: Define Your Character

There are many ways you can define the lead character in your own life’s movie. One way is to engage in the following SELF activities with friends or family.

S1. Identity

S2. Identity and Image

S3. Potential

S4. Hope

S5. Dreams and Purpose

S6. Courage

S7. Character

S8. Happiness/Fulfillment

LIFE: Build Your Story

Another way to enrich your life’s movie is to build your story. The following LIFE activities will make your movie more meaningful.

LF1. Change

LF2. Choice and Destiny

THE FOLLOWING WILL BE @ in Fall 2007

LF3. Proactive Living

LF4. Education, Work, and Play

LF5. Venture and Success

LF6. The Lifespan

LF7. Death and Dying

LF8. Living a Meaningful Life

LOVE: Connect to Your Supporting Cast

You can further develop your movie by connecting to your supporting cast. The LOVE activities will help you connect more meaningfully to your family and friends.

LV1. Human Interaction

LV2. Communication

THE FOLLOWING WILL BE @ in Fall 2007

LV3. Feelings

LV4. Family

LV5. Friends

LV6. Men and Women

LV7. Romance and Marriage

LV8. Love

SELF: Define Your Character - Activity 1

Identity

Do you know who you truly are? Where does ‘identity’ come from? This activity uses a Reel Life Wisdom movie quote to help you define your beliefs about the sources of personal identity.

“It's not who you are underneath;

it's what you do that defines you.”

Batman Begins (2005) – Rachel Dawes (Katie Holmes)

1. Some people believe we are born with a unique ‘identity’. Do you believe people begin life with a unique set of natural skills and motivations? What evidence do you have to support your perspective?

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2. Other people believe our ‘identity’ is formed over time by the choices we make. Our interests, values, skills, and personality may be a result of what we experience. Do you believe that your identity is constructed by the life activities you get involved in? What evidence do you have to support your perspective?

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3. The Batman Begins quote says that identity is defined by the things we do, not by what we are born with. What do you think influences your identity the most - “who you are underneath” or “what you do”?

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SELF: Define Your Character - Activity 2

Identity and Image

Your identity is who you are. Your image is the way you would like others to see you. Many people base their decisions on image - on what others will think of their choices. This activity uses a Reel Life Wisdom quote to examine the importance of identity-based decisions in relationships and life.

“I always thought it'd be better to be a fake somebody

than a real nobody.”

The Talented Mr. Ripley (1999) – Tom Ripley (Matt Damon)

1. Why would The Talented Mr. Ripley believe it is better to be a ‘fake somebody’? Identify life circumstances where people pretend to be something they are not.

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2. What are the benefits of being a ‘fake somebody’? What are the problems with pretending to be something you are not?

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3. People are attracted to the characteristics a person presents. If a relationship is based on image rather than true identity, what problems could occur?

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4. When a person chooses an educational program, a job, or any life activity based on image rather than true identity, what problems could occur?

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SELF: Define Your Character - Activity 3

Potential

We are all much more capable than we think we are. To discover the edge of our own potential, we must make a commitment to develop specific skills. This activity uses a Reel Life Wisdom movie quote to examine the concept and value of personal potential.

“Forty thousand years of evolution and we've barely even tapped

the vastness of human potential.”

Spiderman (2002) - Norman Osborn (Willem Dafoe)

1. This Spiderman quote says we have not “tapped the vastness of human potential”. Do you agree? Identify three things you believe mankind is capable of achieving if we really developed our global potential.

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2. Why would a person want to discover their own potential? What value is there in discovering and developing personal skills?

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3. You cannot know your capabilities until you push yourself beyond what is easy. Do you believe people are mentally tough enough to discover their full potential? What evidence do you have to support your perspective?

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4. Identify three skills that you could develop.

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SELF: Define Your Character - Activity 4

Hope

Personal dreams begin with hope. Hope is the belief that things can get better tomorrow. This activity uses a Reel Life Wisdom movie quote to examine the value of hope as a foundation for the establishment of meaningful future dreams.

“I know what I have to do now. I’ve got to keep breathing

because tomorrow the sun will rise.

Who knows what the tide could bring?”

Cast Away (2000) - Chuck Noland (Tom Hanks)

1. In the movie, Cast Away, Tom Hanks’ character is stranded alone on a remote desert island. No one knows where he is. His quote above shows that he is hopeful that things will get better. How would his thoughts and feelings be different if he believed he would never be found?

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2. A strong belief in ‘what could be’ motivates us to do more and be more. No matter how tough life may seem, there is always hope for a better tomorrow. How can a person become more hopeful in their own life?

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3. What three things in your life are you most hopeful will improve over the next few years?

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SELF: Define Your Character - Activity 5

Dreams and Purpose

No one ever stumbled onto anything great while they were standing still. You have got to move. The pursuit of dreams, of having some kind of purpose to your day, makes it more likely your life will be a great experience. This activity uses a Reel Life Wisdom movie quote to examine the value of having a purposeful dream for your own future.

“There are too many ideas and too many people

and too many directions to go.

The reason it matters to care passionately about something

is that it whittles the world down to a more manageable size.”

Adaptation (2002) – Susan Orlean (Meryl Streep)

1. The first part of the Adaptation quote says that our world today has too many choices. Do you agree? Provide evidence to support your point of view.

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2. The second part of the quote says that having a passionate purpose helps a person to make life easier. Do you agree? Why?

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3. Many people don’t have any goals beyond the weekend. Why do you think few people have meaningful long-term dreams for their life?

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4. Name three educational, work, or recreational dreams you have for your life ten years from now.

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SELF: Define Your Character - Activity 6

Courage

Once you define an interesting purpose, you must have the courage to begin. Too many hopeful dreams never happen because of fear of something; all great things start with a single uncertain step. This activity uses a Reel Life Wisdom quote to review the roles of courage and fear as we each pursue our future dreams.

“Courage is not the absence of fear but rather the judgment

that something is more important than fear.

The brave may not live forever but the cautious do not live at all.”

The Princess Diaries (2001), Prince of Genovia (Rene Auberjonois)

1. This quote says that courage is finding something that is more important than your fears. Give an example from your own life where you did something even though you were scared. In that life event, what was “more important than fear”?

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2. What does the second sentence in the quote mean to you? Do you agree with what the Prince of Genovia has to say?

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3. Fear is a natural emotion designed to protect us from personal harm. It is wise to listen to our fears when we feel them. It is also wise to work through our fears when they prevent us from doing meaningful things. When you are dealing with fear, the hardest step is always the first one. Name a ‘first step’ you could take towards each of the three dreams you identified in Activity 5.

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SELF: Define Your Character - Activity 7

Character

Your character is who you are in the dark; it is the person you are when you have no time or too much time. It is the unique combination of personal motivations, personality quirks, and diverse capabilities that make you unlike anyone else in the world. Real people are much more interesting than people trying to be someone else. This activity uses a Reel Life Wisdom quote to examine the importance of developing your own unique character.

“I say make time to dance alone with one hand waving free.”

Elizabethtown (2005) – Claire Colburn (Kirsten Dunst)

1. Picture a person dancing alone with one hand waving free. Someone brave enough to do that is a character who is unafraid to be the person they are. In your opinion, does our world feature more real characters, being who they are, or more people pretending to be someone else? Why doesn’t everyone be the real person they are?

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2. Name three advantages to honestly being the character you are. Name at least one disadvantage.

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3. Personal character is dynamic. It changes and grows with new experiences. We cannot control everything that happens to us but we can choose the way we deal with life as it unfolds. Name three challenges in your life today and describe how you might use them to further develop your interesting character.

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SELF: Define Your Character - Activity 8

Happiness/Fulfillment

Happiness is not a goal; it is a result of living a meaningful life. Fulfillment is the unintended result of pursuing personal dreams and being the unique character that you are. This activity uses a Reel Life Wisdom quote to review the true pathway to a fulfilling life.

“Happiness is a gift and the trick is not to expect it,

but to delight in it when it comes.”

Nicholas Nickleby (2002) – Vincent Crummles (Nathan Lane)

1. Happiness is often defined as a goal of life. The Nicholas Nickleby quote disagrees, suggesting it is a gift we receive from life. Do you think happiness is a gift or a goal? Why?

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2. If happiness is a result, then it is fair to ask, “A result of what?” Name three things a person can do to make personal happiness/fulfillment more likely.

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3. Many people tell us that it is the pursuit of happiness that matters. It is proactively developing a meaningful life that brings a sense of fulfillment to our door. Name three things you are working on today (or could start working on) that would qualify as the pursuit of happiness.

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LIFE: Build Your Story - Activity 1

Change

In the 21st century, if you don’t happen to change, change is going to happen to you. Change isn’t comfortable but just beyond the discomfort exists a range of endless possibilities. This activity uses a Reel Life Wisdom movie quote to build your willingness to consider meaningful change in your life.

“A person needs new experiences.

They jar something deep inside, allowing him to grow.

Without change, something sleeps inside us

and seldom awakens. The sleeper must awaken.

Dune (1984) – Duke Leto Atreides (Jurgen Prochnow)

1. The quote says, “A person needs new experiences”? Do you agree that people need change in their lives? What are the benefits of change?

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2. Why do so many people avoid change, or “sleep”, as the quote suggests? What are the benefits to avoiding changes in life?

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3. What happens more in your life – does ‘change happen to you’ or do ‘you happen to change’? If you could initiate one meaningful change in your life, what would it be?

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LIFE: Build Your Story - Activity 2

Choice and Destiny

Some people believe we live in a world of choice and their life is a product of their decisions. Others believe life is unfolding according to a pre-destined plan. This activity uses two Reel Life Wisdom movie quotes to define your beliefs about why life unfolds as it does.

“It’s not our abilities that show what we truly are, it is our choices.”

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (2002) – Dumbledore (Richard Harris)

“The answer is out there, Neo, and it’s looking for you.

It will find you if you want it to.”

The Matrix (1999) – Trinity (Carrie-Anne Moss)

1. The Harry Potter quote says our choices determine who we are. The Matrix quote says we have a destiny “out there” that can be discovered. Which do you think has the greatest influence on the person you are becoming – choice or destiny? Explain your answer.

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2. If you believe your life is destined, then your role is to discover the skills, motivations, life activities, and relationship pre-planned for you. What can a person do to discover their destiny?

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3. If you believe your life is a product of your choices, then your role is to develop the skills, motivations, life activities, and relationships that you want. What can a person do to develop the life they desire?

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LOVE: Connect to Your Supporting Cast - Activity 1

Human Interaction

Character development is inevitable when you spend time in the company of others. Take every opportunity to connect meaningfully with another human being. This activity uses a Reel Life Wisdom movie quote to identify the benefits of human interaction.

“The time to make up your mind about people is never.”

The Philadelphia Story (1940) – Tracy Lord (Katherine Hepburn)

1. The quote says we should never assume we know things about another person. We make assumptions about people when we first meet them, based on things we can see (gender, race, clothing, behavior). Do you believe you can know anything about a person, based on what you see? What are the disadvantages of assuming things about a person you’ve never met?

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2. The quote says you can’t “make up your mind” about anybody, even people you know. Do you believe that people can change, or do you believe people stay basically the same throughout life? Give an example to support your perspective.

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3. Think of a person who you don’t like or respect. If you were inclined to believe this quote, name three things you could do differently to give that person a chance to demonstrate they had changed for the better.

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LOVE: Connect to Your Supporting Cast - Activity 2

Communications

A key to connecting meaningfully to your family and friends is listening to their concerns, issues, and personal passions. Listening is not common in a world of people wanting to be heard; this is often the case between parents and their children. This activity uses a Reel Life Wisdom movie quote to review the importance of parents and teens listening to each other.

“Nobody talks to children. They just tell them what to do.”

Rebel Without a Cause (1955) – Judy (Natalie Wood)

1. Do you agree with the quote? What are the advantages of parents and their children really talking to each other?

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2. It is common for parents and teens to talk AT each other, expressing their point of view without demonstrating an understanding of where the other person is coming from. If you could make three rules for encouraging better conversations between parents and teens, what would they be?

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3. Listening to another person does not mean you agree. It means you take time to understand their point of view and consider it when you make decisions. Think of a time when you did not get what you wanted but accepted the decision. What did that person do to make their decision easier for you to accept?

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