Two Old Souls - Australian Short Films
The contents of this document are private & confidential.
TWO OLD SOULS
This short film is about two old Aboriginal women…
You may not like it.
By
FRASER SWIFT
FIRST DRAFT
JULY 2009
( FRASER SWIFT, JULY 2009
P.O. Box 323
Altona VIC 3018
Ph: 0416 193 183
Two Old Souls
A Screenplay
This screenplay is for a short film, intended for a community film festival.
Cast: TBA
Director: TBA
Screenplay by: Fraser Swift Ph. 0416 193 183
Cinematographer: TBA
Executive Producer: TBA
Film Editor: TBA
Production Design: TBA
Production Co.: TBA
Distributors: TBA
Running Time: Unknown
Release Dates: TBA
Copyright ( Fraser Swift 2009
References:
The obvious but very loose literature reference is to the poem Soul and Body II. “It is one of the oldest poems to have survived in two manuscripts, each poem slightly different than the other.” (Wikipedia) The poems were written in the language of their day and this short movie script is written in a “crass Aussie lingo”. The Author of Soul and Body II is unknown. Two Old Souls takes a different view on many of the issues and the result is a very poor and simplistic attempt at conveying some of the complex ideas contained in the original poems.
The short film is likely to have very limited appeal because of the heavy use of Australian cultural references. The film is not intended for commercial release, rather for limited showing at community film festivals.
The film script is designed to be made on a small budget, or perhaps a student production, there should be no need for elaborate movie sets, other than the plane load full of prostitutes, all that is needed is a cast of seven lead actors, ten bit parts, a lot of VB cans, and a bottle of Sav Blanc.
The references to popular culture in the script are obvious, there are many phrases that Aussie’s may know, and many phrases that may make people ‘cringe’ even though the underlying premise of the movie is that Australian culture and values are great.
Philosophical References
Note: the source of this philosophy info (below) is from the Penguin Books, Great Ideas series of books. The film script attempts (poorly) to make some key philosophical points, as simply as possible, using Aussie slang and swearing.
Only some of the core conclusions of these philosophers is referred to, and they are referred to crudely because nobody in their right mind would agree with everything any one philosopher says. There are references to 17 main philosophers and the philosophers have been given slang nick-names:
“Baldy” Baldesar Castiglione: “moral virtues whose seed is enclosed and buried in our souls”.
“Con” Confucius: “a belief that the greatest goal in life was pursuit of “The Way” a search for virtue not as a means to rewards in this world or the next, but as the pinnacle of human existence.”
“Micky” Michel De Montaigne: “…the idea that man is no different from any animal, argues that all cultures should be respected, and attempts, by exploration of himself, to understand the nature of humanity”
“IKEA” Soren Kierkegaard: Regarded as the father of existentialism “his conviction that we must all create our own nature…he argues that a true understanding of God can only be attained by making a personal ‘leap of faith’.
“Tommo 1” Thomas Kempis: “A true understanding and humble estimate of oneself is the highest and most valuable of all lessons. To take no account of oneself, but always to think well and highly of others is the highest wisdom and perfection. Should you see another person openly doing evil, or carrying out a wicked purpose, do not on that account consider yourself better than him, for you cannot tell how long you will remain in a state of grace. We are all frail; consider none more frail than yourself.”
“Tommo 2” Thomas Hobbes: Hobbes is considered the founding father of modern political philosophy, he lived in an era of horrific violence, saw human life as meaningless and cruel. In his work titled “Of Man” he argues the only way to escape this brutality is for all to accept a ‘social contract’ that acknowledges the greater authority of a Sovereign leader. The full title of his key work is “The life of Man, Solitary, Poore, Nasty, Brutish and Short.”
“Tommo 3” Thomas Paine: “The book that created the modern United States was Thomas Paine’s “Common Sense”, Paine’s incendiary call for Americans to revolt against British rule converted millions to the cause of independence and set out a vision of a just society – free from corruption and cronyism – which remains inspiring today. Thomas Pain said: “When my country, into which I had just set my foot, was set on fire about my ears, it was time to stir. It was time for every man to stir”.
“Henry” Henry David Thoreau: “Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth.”
“Fred” Friedrich Nietzsche: Nietzsche was a bit “up himself” – he titled one of his books “Why I am so wise”, But he was “one of the most iconoclastic thinkers of all time, Friedrich Nietzsche continues to challenge the boundaries of conventional religion and morality with his subversive theories of the ‘superman’, the individual will, the death of God and the triumph of an all-powerful human life force.”
“Plato” Plato: “Plato’s retelling of the discourses between Socrates and his friends on such subjects as love and desire, truth and illusion, spiritual transcendence and the qualities of a good ruler profoundly affected the ways in which we view human relationships, society and leadership – and shaped the whole tradition of Western philosophy.”
“Senna” Seneca: “The Stoic writings of the philosopher Seneca offer powerful insights into the art of living and the importance of reason and morality, and continue to provide profound guidance to many through their eloquence, lucidity and timeless wisdom. Seneca: On the shortness of life: Life is long if you know how to use it.”
“Artie” Arthur Schopenhauer: “On the suffering of the world: ‘A quick test of the assertion that enjoyment outweighs pain in this world, or that they are at any rate balanced, would be to compare the feelings of an animal engaged in eating another with those of the animal being eaten’. Schopenhauer’s perception of the importance of art, morality and self-awareness in a blind struggle against a Godless, meaningless world radically transformed our understanding of the individual and remains a searing vision of the human condition. ”
“Bill” William Hazlitt: wrote on “The Pleasure of Hating”, Love turns, with a little indulgence, to indifference or disgust: Hatred alone is immortal. (I think he is wrong by the way, even though he was one of the greatest radicals of his age).
“Thor” Thorstein Veblen: wrote the book “Conspicuous Consumption” with its wry portrayal of a shallow, materialistic ‘leisure class’ obsessed by clothes, cars, consumer goods and climbing the social ladder, this withering satire on modern capitalism is as pertinent today as when it was written over a century ago.
“Sunny Boy” Sun Tzu: “Lure with bait, Strike with Chaos”
“Frank” Francis Bacon: His landmark writings on subjects ranging from anger and ambition, marriage and money, to envy and empire established him as the founding father of modern scientific thinking, with his rejection of superstition and his emphasis on proof and experiment, rational enquiry and reasoned argument.
“Stan” Arthur Stanley Eddington: The well-known astrophysicist; Eddington had a willingness to discuss the philosophical and religious implications of the new physics…he rejected the idea that science could provide proof of religious propositions. The Nature of the Physical World and New Pathways in Science. His skilful use of literary allusions and humour helped make these famously difficult subjects (The Theory of Relativity and quantum mechanics) quite accessible. He said: “If an army of monkeys were strumming on typewriters, they might write all the books in the British Museum.”
Music
Some songs that may be played as background music, or in the car scenes include:
Don’t Fight It, The Panics
Babylon, David Gray
Non, je ne regrette rien, Edith Piaf
Hallelujah, Rufus Wainwright or K.D. Lang
Titans Spirit (Score), Trevor Rabin
Vide Cor Meum, Dante Alighieri & Patrick Cassicy
Silent Sigh, Badly Drawn Boy
Why, Annie Lennox
Moondance, Van Morrison
Tomorrow, Wendy, Concrete Blonde
Penny On the Train Track, Ben Kweller
Unaccompanied Cello Suite No. 1 in G Major, BWV 1007: I. Prelude, Yo-Yo Ma
Love Is, Stevie Nicks
Love…Thy Will Be Done, Martika
Keep going: Don’t Give Up, Peter Gabriel featuring Kate Bush
We Belong, Pat Benatar
Light Surrounding You, Evermore
Songbird, Fleetwood Mac
Fidelity, Regina Spektor
You Don’t Know Me (feat. Regina Spektor), Ben Folds
Brick, Ben Folds Five
Con Te Partiro (original Italian version), Andrea Bocelli
Time to Say Goodbye (Con te partiro), Andrea Bocelli & Sarah Brightman
Aboriginal setting
The Aboriginal setting of the main scenes is not meant as commentary or disrespect for Aboriginal Culture, the setting of the scenes can be put into many cultural contexts, the use of the Aboriginal setting has been selected primarily to show that there is real wisdom to be found in ancient cultures and also to show the appalling state that some Australian Aboriginals live in. So it really just scratches the surface of the complex plight that is faced by some Australian Aboriginals.
In the film script there is very little actual reference made to Aboriginal culture.
The main characters:
YOU = You
Two Old Souls = self explanatory
Aboriginal Woman GOOD SOUL
White Woman BAD SOUL
White Man GOOD BODY
Aboriginal Man BAD BODY
YOU is the only one in any pain, but he does not mention it, YOU just has a sore back because of the way he is sitting on the floor. The Two Old Souls (TOS) are comfy sitting on the ground. The good soul (The Aboriginal Woman) says nothing but is on lying on the ground playing with an iPod connected to some speakers, she is playing music to the good body (because everyone can hear music) whilst the bad soul (the White Woman) sits in a very comfy chair (an old Jason Recliner) and she commands the bad body (The Aboriginal Man) kneeling at her feet, to summon other bodies, as soon as the Aboriginal Man’s knees hit the ground he is summoned away (no relief for him, other than the humour of the messages. Everyone is enjoying this with no exceptions – even the white woman is laughing at the whole process, even though everyone is drinking too much. Everyone is funny. It seems like no one is in control but the two old souls are the best drinkers (best by a country mile). The White Woman keeps offering YOU relief from pain (her chair), but YOU does not accept the comfy chair.
So the “campfire setting” looks something like this:
(wrong side) TOS (right side)
White Woman Aboriginal Woman
(bad soul) (good soul)
Campfire
BEER CANS
Aboriginal Man White Man
(bad body) (good body)
YOU
*They are not sitting around a campfire….they are sitting abound a pile of empty Beer Cans. And everyone is drinking Beer except the White Woman because she is drinking “Sav Blanc” out of a fancy wine glass.
The drinking of Beer represents ten basic things, including; 1. Time (time it takes to drink), 2. Quantity, 3. Humour, 4. Equality, 5. Cause, 6. Effect, 7. Need, 8. Want, 9. Pleasure and 10. Medicine.
Everybody drinks because “we are all connected”, (as in all life is from one cell). Added to the mix is the ever-present need to urinate, because they re all drinking excessively. The TOS don’t ever need to leave until the very end of the movie, the TOS are champion Drinkers and the pile of Beer cans is piling up in the middle of the circle.
The urine has ten basic meanings; 1. Relief (from he pain of a full bladder), 2. Need (Necessity to urinate/burst bladder) 3. Want (to relieve others of their need to urinate) 4. The percentage (%) of their body and soul that is “full of piss, and importantly 5. Humour (“to take the piss”) 6. Privilege and 7. Reward, 9 Pain & 10. Wee (urine itself).
Light has ten basic meanings, 1. Sunlight, 2. Daylight, 3. Artificial light, 4. Distance (light travels), 5. Want (as in let their be light), 6. Humour (lighten up), 7. Heat (light from fire), 8. Religious (as in “I’ve seen the light”), 9. Relief (from Darkness), 10. Need (the need to see).
The three common elements are Want, Need and Humour, which is appropriate because we want there to be lots of humour. YOU thinks he is just a little bit funny. The question is: is humour something that we want or something that we need. What is the opposite of humour? It might be pain.
To think like a Good Soul, it helps to think of your-self as already being dead and not caring whether you are in Heaven or Hell; on one side there are powerful forces that are trying to “save” mankind, these powerful forces are the bad souls and the bad bodies. On the flip side there are powerful forces that are trying to “save” souls, these powerful forces are the bad souls and the good bodies. Thus another way exists: that of the good soul. The good soul thinks not of him-self alone, and has no fear of god.
Using the “trickle down effect” to explain it;
Good Soul Bad Soul Good Body Bad Body
Everyone Good Body Bad Body
Bad Soul Bad Body
Good Body
Bad Body
The Good Soul helps everyone but not all in the same way, because people need different types of help. The Good Soul helps the Bad Soul as a priority because saving another soul increases it’s strength to do more good, then any newly converted good soul can return to helping everyone. The Good Soul is the only one who carries the burden of having to help everyone.
The Bad Soul takes the good with the bad. This is the nature of the Bad Soul because the bad soul is greedy. So the Bad Soul preys on the weaknesses of both Good and Bad and the Bad Soul accepts all comers, think of this as a tempting (false) offer of forgiveness of all sins. The Bad Soul prioritises hunting the Good Body because Good Body’s give it more strength, and because the Bad Bodies are attracted to the Bad Soul on their own volition.
The Good Body (having not met it’s soul yet) can only help the Bad Body.
The Bad Body can only help itself or rely on the good graces of others.
A state of grace is a mystery, it may exist in all categories, or simply being in a state of grace may be when you are moving between states.
The theory is that all of this happens every second of every day and night, or perhaps it is a reference to time, as in this is why we have “time” on our side, in heaven.
Scenes in the movie:
SCENE 1: YOU boards a plane from Melbourne to Darwin.
SCENE 2: YOU interacts with White Men.
SCENE 3: YOU hitchhikes with Aboriginal women.
SCENE 4: The Cops take Lenny and YOU to the tribe.
SCENE 5: Two Old Souls, and the community.
SCENE 6: The conversation continues.
SCENE 7: YOU is asleep, TOS chats to others.
SCENE 8: TOS leave to go off to bed.
The End
SCENE 9: One last laugh.
About the Author:
Not much is actually known about the Author of the original work, or this loosely connected adaptation to screen. The new film script a poor attempt at relaying complex topics. The Author of the screenplay goes by his nickname, which is “Phrase”. The language used in the film script is profane and offensive. The content is not well structured and the ideas not fully thought out. It is the first screenplay that he has written and it shows.
About the Film Script:
The original Poem Soul and Body II has religious references and deals with many complex properties pertaining to the Body and the Soul. The film script alludes to the concept of love between that of a person and their soul. Furthermore, that a person is perhaps the opposite of their soul, or a representation of their soul. These two concepts are mutually exclusive, unless a state of equality (a state of grace) is achieved between a Soul and its Body. This is where Body & Soul meet.
Added into the complexity is that the Soul may reject the Body, the reason for which is obvious because the body is shouldered with the burden. And it goes without saying that the body may reject the Soul, although why a body would reject a Soul remains a mystery because as a Soul, the Body would be free from pain.
The film script actually has nothing to do with organised religion, it is an enduring love story because the good soul desires nothing for ‘himself’ alone. The good soul denies for ‘himself’ alone knowledge of whether or not his soul loves him back as well as denying for ‘himself’ alone knowledge of whether or not ‘she’ (his love) loves him in return. The good soul denies many things for ‘himself’ alone, including god, the future, the past, indeed everything that he can possibly think of because he loves all. But having denied all of this for ‘himself alone’, the good soul is now among the living. The good soul knows that ‘he’ is now with the other souls and ‘he’ is trying to save them in ‘his’ own funny way, or as all souls know; “Arrrrrr”. This denial is an acceptance of his ‘fate’ because even though it may be an act of love, ‘he’ is happy to never know. This may be the meaning of true love, as well as perhaps being the way intelligent life persists, or perhaps it is how god chooses to reveal himself. He’ll never know.
The main character in the film has no name, even though he is referred to at times as “You” and “Guy”. The assumption is that the “guy” represents a young soul. He is seemingly only interested in conversing with the two old aboriginal women (the Two Old Souls) whom he consumes an enormous amount of alcohol with. He speaks in a manner that pays the two old souls no respect; he repeatedly offends them and in return they are offensive back. He joins the “campfire” setting with the others who are already very drunk, and the choice of drink is beer (beer cans everywhere).
The Body and the Soul are both shown as Male & Female in the film script, one each for Good and Bad. The idea is that there are degrees of Good and Bad in everyone. The “love story” (if you could call it that) is that the TOS love each other and YOU loves the TOS like he is their son.
If this film script was to be viewed in a biblical sense then the TOS would represent God. YOU is one of God’s children, but YOU is certainly not Jesus. Because YOU is alive (and swearing) whereas Jesus died on Good Friday and was resurrected on Easter Sunday, except there was no resurrection “on Earth” because Jesus was resurrected in Heaven. YOU thinks of himself as being already dead and in heaven and there is no Jesus present.
YOU, caring not for himself, has set out to help people in remote Aboriginal communities. It was luck that got him in front of the TOS, luck and a wicked sense of humour, and a bit of help from Lenny. YOU has left his own family and friends to help others, but he misses his loved ones. He wants nothing for himself and denies his resurrection, he does not put his faith in God, he denies God’s existence and chooses to “take the pain” of being without his loved ones for eternity. His love is so great. But he wants to know that his loved ones are taken care of.
The poem deals with seemingly dark and even apocalyptic topics, but this only on the surface. One of the resounding morals of the poem is: do not be afraid, because the world is not going to end anytime soon, first you have to be re-united with your soul and even then you will probably have about 2,000 years to make the world a better place. With a bit of luck you will be laughing all the way. Which alludes to one of the poems other lessons: Life is a journey. And one to be enjoyed by all, not in the way of raw hedonism, but rather with kindness and respect for others wishes. Perhaps the poem is leading to a new understanding of rights and responsibilities, an enlightened view that is not so preoccupied with external judgement and sin.
It is a love story because the man denies unity with his soul and instead chooses for himself alone to go through life ignoring benefits for himself and himself alone: living a good and decent life but denying for himself any reward in the afterlife, not out of fear, but as a self sacrifice. Realising that he is already dead and somehow “living” among the damned (who are unaware that their souls influence their movement) he continues to “live” as he was, because he wants to save their body and their soul and he forgives all the sins of others. Those that are closest to him in body, may be wicked in Soul. Yet despite this possibility, he believes that there is a life force that will provide salvation in his time of need, because the battle of good and evil is already won. All that is left is picking up the pieces. Life goes on. And when it comes time for you to choose for yourself any choice; life or death, laughter or pain; choose as you please.
God is good. But when God gives YOU a choice between your life being good or bad YOU may wish to consider not responding, you see YOU wants God to reveal himself to us all (which he does in mysterious ways) and YOU thinks that there is a ladder (a stairway to heaven) but YOU is cognisant that he may just be a lucky fool so his own answer is not important to move up a rung only at God’s good graces and not your own good graces; hence why the lead role in the script “You” swears a bit…this does not offend God because God created language just as he created all things.
The Author also theorises that there is only one life form, that all life is somehow connected, not just life on Earth…all life. The Universe is a big place. Should humanity as we know it ascend to Heaven, another life form will take our earthly bodies. Life on earth will go on, just not as we know it.
The cast of characters
There are just seven main characters and nine bit parts.
There is a system for the script; this system provides the simple framework to make it easier for collaborative writing. There is a simple cast of characters with consistent characteristics, for example all the white men are good.
The Two Old Souls: The two old souls are two very old Aboriginal Women. The TOS (Two Old Souls) are lesbians in love with one another, they are poets, they are happy, they are confused, they love a good joke, they are very polite but swear a lot and they think you may be just like them, except they suggest that you may be younger.
YOU: YOU is a single fat man. A handsome male Maori, New Zealand national, living in Australia. YOU is 25 years old. YOU is a student of Aboriginal culture and Maori culture. As a student YOU has a “thirst” for knowledge (this may make YOU drink a lot, so YOU needs to pee a lot) Despite your rough looks you are a considered, kind-hearted guy (and you don’t tell anybody your name…even though others may think that your name is “Guy”) YOU has a healthy disrespect for Authority. YOU is on a journey deep into the Australian outback to do voluntary work in a remote Aboriginal Community.
AW: Aboriginal Women are Good Souls: All the Aboriginal women (except the Two Old Souls) are smart and they don’t talk much. They are the keepers of knowledge. The female aboriginals have some knowledge which sounds like it is intelligent comment, but it is not the very best, because only the TOS know the best. All the female Aboriginals are nice and pleasant. The Kind Female Aboriginals only speak a little bit of English and they love to drink Beer.
WM: White Men are Good Body’s: All the white men are “good”. They are the enlightened Australians, they love Australia because of the great Aussie values, the enlightened white Australians welcome people here who share our values. The white men do not care about someone having a bit of an Accent, but if you are going to live here you need to speak English. The enlightened Aussie’s think it is a disgrace that their fellow Aussie’s (Aboriginals) live in such squalor conditions but also know that the Aboriginals also need to help themselves. Even though all the white men are good YOU does not give them his full attention.
WW: White Women are Bad Souls: All the white women are wicked. The nasty white Australians: some are the “civil libertarians” they are “do-gooders” and they want to welcome anyone to Australia regardless of their beliefs and regardless of how they treat women. They say really stupid things like “It is a Muslim women’s right to wear a Burka”, and “all Aboriginal people are wonderful”. The white women love bureaucracy and rules and regulations, and they think only they can help others in the proper way (this makes them trash).
AM: Aboriginal Men are Good Souls: All the Aboriginal men are good, but dumb. They represent the ignorant Australians, the ones that love the country but want it for themselves. They are all harmless and fun and good-hearted friendly Aboriginals. One prominent Male Aboriginal is Lenny; A funny drunk aboriginal who loves to punch on. Lenny is in trouble and the Police are looking for him. “Copper’s looking for ya Lenny”.
Nine bit parts (plus all the prostitutes): in order of appearance:
Prostitutes: Sexy White Women (a plane load full)
Taxi Driver: White Man
Hotel Owner: White Man
Bus Driver: White Man
Road Train Driver 1: Aboriginal Woman
Road Train Driver 2: Aboriginal Woman
Road Train Driver 3: Aboriginal Woman
Lenny: A drunk Aboriginal man
Cops: Two white women
Almost Return Road Train Driver 4: White Woman
Eventual Return Road Train Driver 4: Lenny
The Australian Language is ideal because the slang makes everything hard to find……for example:
“It’s just down the road a bit”
“nahh….it’s not far”
“In that flash mobile, you’ll be there in no time brother”
“Well…it hurt a bit”
“I got no fucking idea”
“He’s my mate”
“Well everybody I know knows that”
“Well, if you say so”
“He’s my mate”
Overall the concept is that the Two Old Souls impart knowledge to YOU. All the rest is a bit of fun and humour and the essential message of the movie is to love our children.
The sub message is that Australian culture is great and we should appreciate it for all it’s worth…..and not take ourselves too seriously.
The jokes are just for a bit of fun. [need to add in a lot of jokes; Aboriginal jokes, KIWI Jokes, Aussie Jokes and Lesbian jokes.]
SCENE 1: YOU boards a plane from Melbourne to Darwin.
Note: You is mistakenly trying to go to God but you can’t go to God, he has to wait for God to come to him, it’s funny that he plane is full of prostitutes, this does not represent sin, You knows that he is the so called “sinner” and not the prostitutes, he loves the prostitutes body and soul, as for who the fuck they are and who is flying the plane, he doesn’t give a toss.
The movie starts with YOU boarding a plane full of prostitutes (Melbourne Flight bound for Canberra) YOU is a Kiwi already in Australia and YOU is listening to his iPod as he boards and we are listening to what YOU is listening to and he is listening to the song “Time to Say Goodbye (Con te partiro) by Andrea Bocelli & Sarah Brightman…all 4.09 minutes of it, and as we listen to it we see YOU enter the plane, board, sit down etc etc and all the while looking around at all these sexy women. In the middle of the song YOU takes out the earplug from his ear and says “G’Day” to the sexy women sitting next to him, but to his misfortune the women seated on either side of him are sweedish and don’t understand a word of English. “Ve are from Sveden” It is all a bit surreal to YOU as he listens to Andrea Bocelli’s Con Te Partiro on his iPod.
The plane lands in Darwin and as you get off the Plane you are standing at the taxi rank and you notice that it is just you and all these women. As you get into the taxi the taxi driver says to you jokingly:
TAXI DRIVER
Just my luck…All those women and I got you.
YOU
I know, I was wondering why there was all these women on my plane.
Taxi Driver
Oh..you don’t know.
YOU
Don’t know what?
Taxi Driver
The American Aircraft Carrier is in town so all the prostitutes are flying in to Darwin for the Navy Boys. You were on a Plane full of Prostitutes.
YOU has a stunned expression on his face, like he’s missed an opportunity.
[YOU checks into his hotel]
White Male Hotel Owner:
Don’t worry we are one of the more expensive hotels, and the prostitutes usually book the cheaper ones.
YOU
(Being tongue in cheek reply)
A cheap hotel would have been O.K.
SCENE 2: YOU interacts with White Men
Hotel Owner
Good morning sir.
YOU
Morning.
Hotel Owner
Bus should be here shortly……………Going to the outback?
YOU
Yep
Hotel Owner
Any place in particular
YOU
Nahh….just want to help some people and do some good.
Hotel Owner
people?
YOU
Aboriginals
Hotel Owner
Well they need some help alright, but they also need to know to help themselves.
At this point the Bus arrives and YOU gets on the Bus. It’s a mini bus and it is empty, just YOU and the Bus driver. YOU sits up the front near the driver.
Bus Driver
The government is trying to help em….every time they try to help it’s like it makes things worse. You be careful out there, watch out for the male Abo’s, they will punch the daylights out of you if you don’t watch out. You don’t want any of that black man magic, I’ll tell you that, they know a lot about the trees and the plants and all that bullshit.
YOU
The bus will take me only as far as a place called “Woodinga”, but from there I want to go further into this remote region (YOU shows the hotel owner on his map).
Bus Driver
Well it does not look too far on the map, just “hop skip and a jump” away from Woodinga, but it’s off the beaten track. Why you going all the way out there.
YOU
I have inherited some money and I am trying to give back the inheritance.
Bus Driver
What you wanna go and do that for?
You
Well I consider myself to be a good person.
SCENE 3: YOU hitchhikes with Aboriginal women.
YOU hitches rides from three different aboriginal women driving road trains. There is not a lot of conversation. They laugh at a few jokes and enjoy the conversation and the drivers comment that they like the fact that YOU shut’s up and listens when a good song comes on the radio. They find it unusual that YOU doesn’t like K.D. Lang’s music. “What’s not to like”, have you heard her sing Hallelujah.”
As the female aboriginals drive aggressively and fast: They can’t speak much English, but they do know the swear words, and use them often.
“Get out the fucking way you cocksucker”
“Pick a fucking lane dip shit”
You knows that Aussie Road Trains travel fast and take a long time to stop, so you hitches a ride on the Road Trains by leaving signs out
20 Km sign: “Are you laughing?”
10 Km sign: “I can make you laugh”
5 km sign: “Start slowing down now”
1 Km sign: “start to stop”
Stop – YOU is holding a stop sign, dressed as a Lollypop lady.
YOU
G’day.” “Now I bet you never expected to see a guy dressed in a Lollypop ladies uniform all the way out here.
AW
Where you going dressed like that?
YOU
As far as you’ll take me.
YOU greets all the Aboriginal women with the greeting “G’Day”, this is because he wants a lift from them. (the Language is important, he does not say G’Day Mate)
2nd AWRoad Train Driver
What are you doing dressed like that?
YOU responds “not really sure, thought it would make you laugh.”
As the nice old Aboriginal women take YOU on your journey to the tribe they pass on to each other a message stick – this can be passed on by them telling each other in message the funny things that they learn along the way from You.
The Aboriginal women all tell You to sleep if you are tired.
AW
Sleep if you are tired.
Once YOU is asleep the AW (Aboriginal Women driving the trucks) start to impart knowledge to him.
AW
Kenny Rogers said it best: “The best that you can hope for is to die in your sleep”. The government is stuffed, they built these roads and then allowed us to drive on them as fast as we want, you ask me they need a fucking reality check. Anyway, we are the human race and right now we are in a blind struggle against forces that we really don’t know much about. This has been going on for a long time, they have better technology than us but we are happy for them to reveal itself slowly to us….after all, what’s the rush. There is always more than two sides to a story, but here is some of what we know so far: “light exists everywhere where there is not total darkness, how the light does this we are trying to figure out. We are trying to take the piss that comes out of you and we hope in the process that it makes you laugh, but don’t laugh too much because there are others here who come along after we are gone and they are trying to stick a catheter in you.” What you see in between is nobody’s business, but your own, you can tell us if you like but we don’t care, the choice is yours. This is the difference between pleasure and pain, we use age old and long forgotten techniques to ease your pain and the other side use their technology to stick a catheter in you. If you need to urinate, then piss as much as you want but don’t fart.
As YOU hitches the lift from the second Aboriginal Women, YOU keeps falling asleep and when asleep the AW are laughing hysterically as they say funny things like: “Yeah you get your sleep you dirty motherfucker, you were probably out fucking all night with all those prostitutes in town.”
AW
Why are you so tired….out rootin last night were ya? It’s O.K. you can tell me, I won’t tell anybody.
AW
Go on…I was good enough to pick you up, the least you can do is entertain me…
YOU
Alright…..you wanna know the truth….the truth is I fucked my brains out last night
AW
Tell me he details (reference to “the devil’s in the detail”)
YOU
Fuck Off.(said in a nice way)
In the Road Trains the Aboriginal women play great music, stuff that YOU love, as you drive they all tell you that the songs, (some of which are by men) are by women.
AW
a woman sung that song
YOU ignores them saying this.
YOU
What is the speed limit here in the Northern Territory, I keep seeing circle’s with a stripe through them?
AW
Yeah, that means there is no speed limit, so I can drive 200 miles an hour?
YOU
Does that thing go 200?
AW
Nah-nah, but if it could..:
YOU
Go as fast as you like
The flow of traffic is all headed the other way. No body seems to be going your way except for a couple of Road Trains that overtake you going dangerously fast.
It is a dangerous trip and as the crazy female’s drive you all they seem concerned about is that you like the music. As the female abo’s drop you off for the next female driver to take you the next part of the journey they tell each other in Aboriginal the kind of music that you like.
The “message stick” is what the kind female aboriginals say to each other. Things like:
AW
He likes Madonna, thinks Van Morrison is a man, and for some strange reason he is not a fan of K.D Lang. He likes song’s like “There is always the Sun” and “Fall at your feet” by Crowded House.
This message stick just gets sillier and sillier as the women pass on little bits of information on to each other relating to the music and movies that you have seen and like. As an Aussie YOU appreciate Aussie songs and Australian culture and a lot of American songs.
The third Aboriginal woman to give him a lift explains to him why we are all “motherfuckers”.
AW
We are all motherfuckers now because the technology exists that a woman can take her cells, like her skin cells and inject them into her own egg and produce a baby – hence the term “motherfucker”. Get used to it because that is what we call each other.
At the end of the message stick, as the last kind female drops YOU off at the tribe one of the male abo’s and they greet each other by telling each other to “Fuck Off”. YOU does not notice this as YOU has fallen asleep again – at every point in the journey YOU has fallen asleep. The female abo informs the male abo that she is dropping off this one because YOU wants to help. The male abo replies: “help who, help us?” (starts laughing) How the fuck is she going to help us? The male abo asks the female driver “What chance does this one have? And she replies: He’s got two chances: “Fuck all and none”. The male Abo smiles at this news, he is happy. “Well take those odds”. The male Abo is Lenny.
Lenny is an Aborginal Male, and he is as drunk as a skunk and busting for a piss. He is taking a piss on the side of the truck and a nearby police car sees this and the cops come and arrest Lenny and handcuff Lenny and put him into the back of their Police car and YOU seeing all this tells the coppers that Lenny is family and ask to hop into the police car for the journey to the “lock up”, only the Police are not taking Lenny to the “lock up” they are returning him to his tribal home for tribal punishment because Lenny has broken tribal law. Lenny doesn’t know who the fuck you are sitting next to him but doesn’t seem to care (Lenny is drunk). Then Lenny asks the coppers
Lenny
hey where you fuckwits taking me?
The Coppers reply
Back to your tribe Lenny, back to your family.
Lenny
Ohhh noooo, please don’t take me back to them, take me to jail, lock me up…..I don’t give a shit….just don’t take me back to me tribe.
Coppers
They want you back Lenny.
Lenny
Alright, alright….you can fucking take me…..but why you taking this guy?
Coppers
He said he was your brother. The Coppers stop the car. Is he your brother?
Lenny looks at YOU
and says to the cops: “of course he’s my fucking brother that is how I know his name.”
Coppers
What’s his name?
Lenny
Guy
Coppers look at YOU
Is your name Guy
YOU
Yep
Lenny
And I love my brother, I fucking love him, but if you take these fucking handcuffs off me I’m going to punch the daylights out of him.
The coppers keep driving (and do not take the handcuffs off Lenny)
YOU, talking to Lenny
Calm down “Calm down”
(YOU are just some fucking “Guy”)
Lenny
You are going in the wrong fucking direction anyway you fuckwits
Lenny
..laughs……and says to you……It’s O.K., I am calm now, I am in good hands, I’ve been taking my pills, I am seeing a psychiatrist, and there is some people here that want to meet you.
YOU
Good to hear it, but tell them they can all Fuck Off. I want nothing for myself alone.
YOU:
You hot bro?” (conversation inside a divvy van on a stinking hot day)
Lenny
Nah…I’m alright
YOU
Lenny, do you mind if I ask why you are here? (as in the divy van)
Lenny
Me….I was born here.
YOU
You must be hot.
Lenny
Ahh…..it’s a bit hot. You’ll get used to it
YOU
I’ll see what I can do to get you out
Lenny
Nah…..don’t worry about me, I know why I’m in here……I’m worried about you cause you chose to be in here.
Scene 4: The Cops take Lenny and YOU to the tribe
In this scene: The tribe appears, it is a shambles, empty beer cans everywhere and rubbish everywhere. At first, as YOU walks around the camp and familiarises himself with the camp and meeting many people, the two old aboriginal women say absolutely nothing to YOU. They just rest about a bit on the ground. Unbeknownst to YOU these two old souls represent (and know they are) the sum of everything good and everything bad in our Universe. Together, which they are not, they contain most that is good and most that is bad in the world and neither one of them is telling. Time stands still for no man, but the two old souls will give a bit of time to YOU because YOU says he is Female.
A White Woman offers to help YOU talk to the TOS.
WW
(speaking to YOU) “Is there something you want to say to them?”
YOU
As a matter of fact there is, but they will just tell me to fuck off.
WW
(speaking to YOU) “Well what is it you want to say to them?”
YOU
I just want to ask them how they are travelling?
YOU
(speaking to the TOS)
How are you travelling?
WW
Don’t you want to answer the question from him (the TOS have heard the white woman, and respond to her that they
TOS
Can’t hear him, don’t know who he is and can’t see him.
You laughs at this, but only a little laugh (it does not appear funny because the poor old Abriginal women are in a bad state of health) but then the WW says to the TOS
WW
You has been drinking with you for two years now.
(the WW does not have a good grasp of time)
TOS
Has he?....we don’t know him. You can tell him to fuck off.
WW: Well he thought you’d say that, that is why YOU is here.
There is a couple of “god botherers” about, they want to talk to you but YOU don’t give a shit about them.
YOU
(talking to TOS)
I am just some fucking guy, but I am female.
The TOS laugh just a little bit at this.
The WW offers to translate what the Kiwi has to say to her, and to her shock and horror he replies:
YOU
Tell them I think they are both dirty lezzo’s.
TOS
No need to translate she says, I understand her. Well put
WW
You mean him
TOS
whatever” What are you doing here?
YOU
I am in Australia because I think that Australia is Heaven on Earth.
TOS
You sound like one of those religious “god-botherers”
YOU
Well I’m not God, but I think you two together may be.
TOS
It sure as shit ain’t us
Female Abo
Bide your time
TOS
O.K.
TOS ask YOU again:
TOS
Why are you here?
YOU
I was born in New Zealand, but now I am an Australian citizen, I have dual citizenship.
TOS
Make up your fucking mind would ya, You an Aussie or a Kiwi?
YOU
In my heart I’ll always be a Kiwi, but I love Australia too.” They are the best two countries in the world, but don’t get me wrong; even though I love them, both countries are stuffed.
TOS
Stuffed with what?
YOU
Good people and a few dickheads.
TOS
Well you seem to know a lot of shit; which one are you?
YOU
I realise that I am just a young girl, I realise I am Female.
TOS
go on….
YOU
I realise that I am a Female, I’m a Lesbian, I am mentally unstable, I am not religious.
There is again a lot of commotion as the White Woman starts summoning people, one at a time; and then the right side the Aboriginal Woman starts playing music.
WW
(asks an Aboriginal man nearby) “Please get me a book on existentialism. Anything by Soren Kierkegaard will do”
AM
Your kidding me, what do you think there is a fucking library out here.
WW
Well get me the smartest man you can find….quick.
The aboriginal children are listening and helping the TOS, they (the men) keep summoning (in the aboriginal language) the great philosophers & revolutionaries. “Shit, go get “Baldy” which is a reference to Baldesar Castiglione.
Then the children whisper in TOS’s ears the children play comfortably with the TOS, the Aboriginal Woman and the White Male.
YOU
I am a Maori, and you Aussie’s have “given a bit of shit” to the Kiwi’s over the years and I’m here to give the shit back to you” (on this premise YOU can tell a whole lot of Aboriginal jokes to TOS and for every Abo joke that YOU gives TOS tell back a New Zealander joke.
The idea here is that “reality” is what the White Woman wants, whereas the TOS and YOU are content taking the piss out of one another.
YOU
Why don’t you ever see Aboriginals on Star Trek?
TOS
Why
YOU
Because they don’t intend on working in the future either.
The TOS find this very funny and laugh. But the White woman starts crying.
A gust of wind has blown dust into YOU’s eyes and YOU closes his eyes and he can’t see for a while and everyone if trying to help him, but he keeps telling them to fuck off, that all he needs is a little water to wash his eyes out.
The WW is crying and she says to YOU:
WW
We are sad, can we cry on your shoulder?
YOU
I won’t lend you my shoulder to cry on, your not having a lend of me. Let’s talk and I will tell you some funny things along the way, so much so that you will forget about crying on my shoulder.
WW
But you have such big shoulders, all we want is to cry a bit.
YOU
No you can fuck off.
TOS
Are you one of those do-gooders who want to deny us beer?
YOU
No, the do-gooders can all fuck off too, if I had a beer, I’d share it with you.
At this point the TOS immediately change and they lead YOU off to another location, their souls are revealing themselves to YOU, and they lead YOU to the “campfire” setting (your eyes are still closed from the dust) and they sit down and crack open a tinnie and place it in your hand.
You washes his eye’s out with a bit of beer from the can.
TOS
Welcome…
Scene 5: Two Old Souls, and the campfire setting.
YOU opens his eyes, and the Two Old Souls appear first and introduce themselves to YOU.
TOS
Your language has evolved. Your technology is still rubbish. You are here now. There are other powerful forces in your world, they may come along soon.
TOS
But firstly, we owe you a joke
How does a New Zealand farmer find his sheep in the long grass?
YOU
how
TOS
Delightful
The White Woman (WW)appears on a comfy chair and says
WW
Holy Fuck, where the fuck am I”, then she acknowledges the TOS and she shuts up. And starts to text message & “twitter” people on her mobile phone.
The Aboriginal Man appears and kneels down at her feet.
The WW commands the AM
Go ask Sunny what I should do
The White Man appears next and he sits in a fold out camp chair. The white man says nothing, he just smokes his cigarettes and drinks his Beer and listens to the music that the AW is playing.
The Aboriginal Woman appears next, with her iPod & speakers, she lies down on the ground and starts to play music.
The conversation continues, between YOU and the TOS.
AM returns and says:
AM
Sun Tzu said you should offer him your comfy chair.
WW:
scoffs at the idea
Hmmm.
TOS
You have reached a turning point in history, which is that you no longer need men to procreate. But we still care about the lives and the souls of men.
TOS
You see a woman can take one of her cells, say her skin cells and insert that cell into her egg and select for the baby to be female, this means that we will evolve as a species as female and gradually it is the men who will become less and less and eventually face extinction. This evolution will happen slowly, but men can realise now that we are all the same species and our species is female, a fact which will hopefully unite us all and explains why God is male.
TOS
The best word that describes Humanity is ‘Lesbian’. You are Female. And you are a Lesbian.
TOS
This is because as a species we are female, all of us.
YOU
Why do Lesbians like to be reincarnated as Whales?
TOS
Why?
YOU
So they can have 10-foot tongues and breathe out of the tops of their heads.
(everyone laughs a bit)
TOS
this right here right now, this is the dreamtime
YOU
Well fuck me, I am awake somehow in the dreamtime. I always thought I was a Lesbian. I want to help others and not myself alone.
TOS
What others
YOU
All good life forms….everything.
TOS
You can’t talk to the animals, so how do you know they are worthy of salvation?
YOU
And I think that God is revealing himself to us slowly. I think we are ready to receive alien life from another system. And have fun whilst we do it. Fuck you all, I am just going to sit here and relax
TOS
(laugh at this a little)
Fun, that’s fine, it’s good to have fun, we want you to enjoy yourself. Laughter, that’s free, enjoy laughter.
WW
Do not relax, there is work to be done. We want to know how to get into heaven.
YOU
Fuck Off. Heaven……Who knows / who cares.
WW
Well I care. I have sold my house and my car and all my possessions and I gave everything to the church, and that did not get me into heaven. Now I clean the church every day and still I don’t get into Heaven.
YOU
Of course it didn’t you dip shit
WW
Then how can I get into heaven?
YOU
You’ve gotta be fuckin dead.
TOS
Humans have to stop thinking of themselves as intelligent life. As Billy Connolly says: “When is the last time you saw a dog step in a human shit?
TOS
This could be (we’re not really sure) the way that a seemingly less intelligent life form (like cancer) informs a supposedly more intelligent life form (like a human) that it is the more superior life.
YOU
But I do not believe any of that crap because I don’t need to know the cure for cancer, not for myself alone….for Myself alone. If you know the cure then apply it to everyone else.
TOS
Dreamtime is over for you for now…temporarily, in the fullness of time this is how far you have come (on earth). You have made progress, and your language has improved…some of you are starting to realise you are all Lesbians...well done
YOU
Hang on a minute. How long has this been going on?
TOS
God knows how long
YOU
I am trying to give back an inheritance. I have inherited some money and do not feel that it is rightly mine, so I want to give it back.
TOS
Our tribe has no bank account, no means of accepting money at all, so tough titties. How much money are you trying to give back?
YOU
All of it.
TOS
Nah…..we don’t need any money….(laughing)….what are we going to do with that.
TOS
We don’t want or need any money”. We live 100% traditional lifestyle except for four modern things: an iPod to listen to music, a mobile phone “so the kids can reach us”, a solar power generator and Beer.
YOU
Let me buy you a DVD player.
TOS
We don’t need a DVD player because sooner or later every movie comes on the telly….everyone knows that.” “We have time on our side, and we are happy to wait.
YOU tells TOS
I’m willing to give you everything
TOS
everything in your power? Or everything you can think of or everything you can?
YOU
none of those” “everything” “the sum of us” “all of us”
TOS
Well well well.
TOS
What makes YOU think you can help?
YOU
I’m like a Doctor
TOS
So you have spent a bit of time at a University and a Hospital and you think you can help us.
YOU
Yes, I am not certified, but I am qualified.
AW
certifiable more like it
TOS
A lot of Doctors and a good many Nurses have been here before you and none of them stay long.
YOU
I am like a Doctor, but I am not a doctor
AW
Please explain
TOS
Qualified….alright…..tell us about your quality.
YOU
As a person I know that I am lacking the qualities of my soul” “But this is not about me, I am trying to help others, their bodies and their souls. And not just humanity, but all life forms.
TOS
The best that you can hope for is to die in your sleep.
YOU
I will stay on earth, I will remain after you take everything that you want….I want nothing for myself, if you don’t want pain leave it here with me.
YOU
I think that I am pain.
TOS
You might be pain
AW
(the aboriginal women all start to cry…)
Ah no, this one might be pain” “Shit, go and get help now
AW: replies
We don’t know where help is, maybe they have help
AW
Ahhh….maybe this one is just a little bit of help
AW
(directly looks at TOS and pleads..)
please ask him to describe himself to us
TOS
(without acknowledging AW, say to YOU)
How would you describe yourself?
YOU
I’m just a little shit.
AW
busts out crying…”ahh no, aww no” He could be big…really big. Go and get everyone.
TOS
People are starting to worry about you.
YOU
At first I thought I was Pain
AW
Shit
YOU
I am sin, My realisation is that sin is not original
YOU
After I realised I was dead, I denied my soul for myself alone and I seemed to have a lot of time
YOU
I realised that I can’t help myself, that I need a system to help me. I have faith in these systems.
TOS
What systems
YOU
Systems like Wikipedia. Systems like the internet. Australian Systems like Medicare.
TOS
So you want us to accept into Heaven all the people in their body and their souls, and when we do this you think their bodies will then be occupied by another life force that is further down the line than you are.
YOU
That is correct. This leaves me with not a friend in the world, but I will make new friends, I will be O.K. I want nothing for myself alone.
YOU
In return. I will advocate and support the one system which in my lifetime will best protect your culture, and best preserve Aboriginal culture and language.
AW
We’ve been trying to preserve Aboriginal Language and culture for ages
YOU
Yes, but there is a new technology that will allow you yourselves to talk to each other and to all the other tribes: and it is called FTTH.
TOS
FTTH, what the fuck is FTTH?
YOU
FTTH stands for Fibre To The Home. And your community and all the remote communities will be connected wirelessly, this will allow you to talk to whomever you want and you can record your conversations for all perpetuity. Your conversations can even be digitally stored and beamed out into space as a signal.
TOS
FTTH sounds awfully close to what a psychologist once diagnosed me as, which was FITH: Fucked In The Head.
TOS
Why the fuck would anyone want to hear what we have to say.
YOU
Australia is Heavan. New Zealand is a “slice of heavan”, our collective culture is speaking to us. In the big scheme of things the English language is a relatively new language, your language is a lot older.
TOS
About time you realised that. We have been telling you that for a long time.” “Now instead of us interpreting the message stick for you, you want us to add to the message, this really is a turning point in your history.
TOS
We know a lot about what happens when you are asleep, but we may only reveal this to you slowly, as too much of a good thing can hurt you. We call sleep the “Dreamtime”. But you have your own so called sleep experts, what you want info from us for?
YOU
I am YOU aren’t I?
TOS
Yes, your YOU
YOU
I mean that we are one
TOS
Out of all of us here….only the two of us think that we are one.
[reference here to the Aussie anthem “we are one, but we are many”]
YOU
I am not afraid to admit to my mistakes….the love that I was giving you was never in doubt… [reference to the song Babylon written by David Gray, I think Tracy Chapman sings it?]
The kiwi is so “full of piss” that he needs to go to the bathroom. The kiwi says,
YOU
I’ll come back after I have relieved myself.
TOS
All he was after was just a little bit of relief from pain
AW
Ahhhhh noooo…..there is a LOT of pain coming our way.
TOS
(talking to each other whilst the Kiwi is off urinating out of sight) “Yes but this kiwi want’s to take the piss out of us.
YOU
I’m back” “I only want to take the piss out of you to lighten the load a little bit, to make things easier for you.
TOS
Things are easy for us” The Aussie’s have said sorry to us, now we are trying to say thankyou.
TOS
Enjoy laughter, you can take the piss out of people, just don’t take so much piss that people think your shit.
YOU
We don’t want your shit.
TOS
We don’t want yours either.
YOU
What do you want?
TOS
We want you to get better
YOU
But I don’t want anything from you.
TOS
Then you are going to have to help yourself.
YOU
I didn’t come here for advice, I came here initially to tell you to Fuck Off, but now I realise that there is a much nicer way for me to phrase it
YOU
I realised I was a Phrase.
YOU
Language is important.
YOU
YOU should preserve language
YOU
FTTH can preserve language
YOU
FTTH is a system
YOU
FTTH should be free, like oxygen.
YOU
Fuck Off is not the same as “go away”, what it means is let’s make love in a consensual and legal way….
TOS
So you want love
YOU
I am trying to tell you in a nice way that I want fuck all for myself alone.
TOS
Well there is no need to be polite to us, being polite got you here, being good and being happy and doing right will get you a long way, but you are here now, so just say it.
YOU
Say what?
TOS
Say your little phrase
YOU
It’s an aboriginal phrase and I don’t speak aboriginal
TOS
You can say it in English
YOU
Naahhh…what would be the point of that
YOU
It is not my saying, it’s an Australian saying, it is something that only Aussies will understand, and us Kiwi’s.
TOS
What’s the saying?
YOU
I’ll tell you, but how about telling me a little joke
TOS
We have already told you the joke
YOU
Well where’s the joke?
TOS
The joke is on you” “You have two nipples, but no milk comes out of them.
YOU
Well that is not that funny
TOS
That is how far you have come from when you originated as a female, and that indicates how far you have to go, as a species, to be fully female once again.
YOU
I realise that you put it there to make me laugh, what about everyone else?
TOS
Life is funny. We give you laughter as we take the pain, this is where you are at on the evolutionary ladder.” “Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and you cry alone.
YOU
I don’t want to take this step on the evolutionary ladder for myself, but I know a lot of people who would like to be free of pain.
The Joke is that the Aussie language is the key to greater understanding, we say things like: She’ll be right mate ???
YOU
It is not about me.
YOU
It is about YOU.
TOS
US.
YOU
U.
TOS
.
YOU
YOU: The game we are playing is “dot to dot”…..connect the dots.
YOU
I accept that I am just one small part of a very big system, one which may not care about me. I realised that it is not about me, that there is something else out there outside of our system and that something is trying to get in. I realised this when I had a near death experience. There are lots of life forms who will readily take my place, which brings me conclude that I have to fight for my own life. But I don’t choose to fight for myself alone, I need to know deep in my soul if fighting this fight is right.
WW
Shit, go and get Tomo
AM
Kempis, Hobbes or Paine?
WW
Find all three.
TOS
Fighting is not what you want, any other species that knows how to enter your body without you knowing how is bound to be a better fighter.
YOU
Well what do you suggest?
TOS
When your time comes, accept your fate, or tell them a joke. See if they have a good sense of humour.
YOU
It is like there is are two Alien Life forms that want to enter our world through us, one though our shoulders and one through our feet, which I know sounds a bit bizarre. Why has this knowledge been given to me? My life is not that important, I m just a regular guy. Should I revolt against these forces because I don’t know their motives, or should I accept they know better because their technology is so far advanced?
AM
I couldn’t find any of them.
TOS
You matter, just as we do, your existence is validated, not by achieving greatness, but rather in doing good. The more you realise things, the heavier the burden is on your shoulders. You have big shoulders. Have you considered that the reason you have been given this knowledge is because you are average – you’re fat man in the midst of an obesity epidemic, all of which makes you hard to find within the system.
YOU
I want to use all the facts that we have and arrive at a solid conclusion about the existence of God. You see I don’t believe getting dressed up in my best Sunday suit and going to attend church makes me any closer to god.
WW
Shit, Go fetch Frank and Thor.
TOS
We don’t know much about God. He is revealing himself to us in many mysterious ways. We are happy to wait, you should too.
YOU
I am happy to wait for me alone, but I want to help everyone else, their Bodies and their souls. And in the mean time what do I do? Sit around here waiting?
TOS
Not just waiting, being patient and being good.
AM
Francis Bacon and Thorstein Veblen said Fuck Off.
YOU
I think I realise now a bit more about how to live life well.
WW
Shit, go get Seneca.
YOU
I still think that my life matters little in the big scheme of things, but I realise that little thinks count, that I can help make the system better, all the systems that are interconnected. I can contribute some of my knowledge to wikipedia and somewhere at some time someone may benefit from that knowledge.
AM
Seneca said you call all fuck off.
YOU
We are not equal in our world…
WW
Bring me Artie
AM
Arthur Schopenhauer said you can fuck off.
WW
But you didn’t even go look for him.
AM
Last time I saw him he said the next time you ask, that I should not bother looking for him and instead just tell you to fuck off.
WW
Smart bastard. Well go and get Fred and bring him to me
YOU
Life’s power does not come from each of us acting alone, but rather all of us united as one. We are the Human Race and we are a life form unto ourselves. No one else can control all of us, they can only penetrate the outer edges.
AM
Friedrich Nietzsche said fuck off
WW
Fetch Baldy
AM
Baldesar Castiglione said…
WW
Yeah yeah, I know….fuck off
AM
yep.
YOU
I think that the two of you are very special.
WW
Get Micky
YOU
You are special because you are both old and wise. You are also in love with each other, and I am very happy for you both. Your culture, the Aboriginal culture deserves to be preserved and celebrated, and not just by other Aboriginal people. There are answers in cultures, answers to age-old questions.
AM
Michael De Montaigne said fuck off.
YOU
And I seek the truth.
WW
Get Henry now!
YOU
I want to know whether there is intelligent life somewhere out in space, I want proof that god exists. And I think you may know a bit about that topic because you have been thinking on it a bit longer than I have.
AM
Henry David Thoreau said you can go fuck yourself.
YOU
I understand that life works backwards as well as forwards.
WW
Get Plato and IKEA.
YOU
I love my family so much that I have gone about the place backwards as well as forward to confuse anyone trying to find me, for myself alone. But the thing I really want to protect is my family, I want safety and good health for them more than I want anything for myself.
AM
Plato and Soren Kierkegaard both said fuck off.
YOU
What is right and what is wrong?
TOS misunderstand you and look to their right (at the White Women and the Aboriginal Men).
YOU
How the fuck do I know who is right?
TOS
It is not who looks like they are on the right side (to the TOS the white women and the aboriginal men are on the right side
We don’t want any religious motherfuckers here, these bastards just sat down and started drinking.
TOS
YOU are God
YOU
Me….nahhh….I’m just some fuckwit
YOU
I don’t want anything for myself alone, I accept my fate.
TOS
We don’t think you’re a fuckwit at all, far from it. We think you are just a bit nuts.
TOS
Now close your eyes and drift off to sleep if you want.
WW
Look at me Kiwi, Look at me (reference to Kath & Kim)
YOU
Fuck Off
TOS
YOU..your a motherfucker, that’s why you’re here isn’t it. But don’t worry we don’t want you near us until after you’ve gone to God, and there is no shortcuts, you need to live well. Enjoy your life, enjoy others but be sensible,
YOU
I am getting a bit tired. What’s left?
TOS
Lefties been locked up, he committed a crime.
YOU
The two of you have been around for a very long time, since the creation of our universe. The two of you fell in love with each other and became “one”. In other words you are two half’s that came together as one whole, you are Aboriginal of course, so what you created was a ‘Black Whole”, a ‘Black hole” and your love made everything possible. We are composed of the exact same atomic matter, everything in the Universe is. Am I right?
TOS
Close, but no cigar
WW
I have a cigar if you want one.
YOU
Fuck Off
TOS
You are getting a bit ahead of yourself here, tell us more about love.
YOU
True love is when you love something else more than you love yourself. Love exits, Love is real and ever present. Love is really all around us, like oxygen. Everybody can choose love.
YOU falls asleep sitting crossed legged on the floor.
SCENE 6: The conversation continues.
YOU wakes up. The setting looks the same.
YOU
I realise that this is the real dreamtime…I feel like I am coming out of intensive care….I seem O.K. I feel a little drunk and you are spitting a little bit of blood.
WW
You are just coming out of a coma”. As she wipes the blood away, as you inform her that she is funny, that you just feel a little drunk.
YOU
I don’t give a shit why I’m here
WW
talking to AM(A)
Shit go get Plato
WW
Laughing a little…Don’t you at least want to know why you have woken up here
YOU
Fuck Off”…I don’t give a flying fuck why I am here. But could you tell me something….how many Lesbians does it take to change a lightbulb
WW
No…no..no…no joking arounds here.
YOU
Two, it takes two Lesbians, one to change the lightbulb and one to write a folk song about the empowering experience.
(everyone chuckles a little bit)
WW to AM(B)
Oh Fuck, laughing a bit more…..go and get the wog
AM(B)
Which wog
WW
Con, Con the wog”
AM(A) returns
Plato said Fuck Off.
WW
Who are you?
YOU
Fuck Off
AM(B) returns
Confusius said Fuck You, Fuck Him and Fuck the horse he rode in on.
Everyone laughs a little
WW
Well he does have a way with words
YOU
Things are a bit weird, everything is backwards. I can see I am in an Aboriginal setting makes it look like they are in the past, so my best guess is it’s the future. I will be respectful by being disrespectful, but keeping a sense of humour.
WW
Holy shit…..I think he’s O.K.
YOU
Fuck Off”……”I’m not O.K. and even if I was O.K. I sure as shit wouldn’t tell you motherfuckers.
WW
We know that your not O.K. because we know who you are….would you like us to tell you who you are?
YOU
Fuck Off….haven’t you been listening to me.
WW
So you want to be able to listen & hear
YOU
I don’t give a shit about me listening….we are having a conversation
(maybe have the AM keep changing as the WW makes a new summons, this can represent the changing nature of the body’s states as the souls move around within them.)
WW
You are here because you went walkabout, we are concerned for you.
YOU
talking directly to the TOS: “Lately I have been laughing a lot.
TOS
It’s O.K. to be laughing, but if you want others to laugh, you have to let the laughter catch up to you
YOU
Nah…..Fuck Off…….I don’t need to laugh for myself alone.
TOS
Then time will go by YOU
YOU
I know something about this. In order for light to exist, Light must always move, if it stops, it ceases to exist.
TOS
Do you think you are the light?
YOU
Fuck Off, I am just a young female Lesbian.
TOS
There are two of us here, one of us hopefully has a magnetic personality and the other an Electrical pulse, but don’t ask us which because we have been together so long that we forget things. At any rate, you are viewing us at almost 300 million meters per second.
YOU independently ignores everything else and focuses purely on the TOS.
YOU
Can the two of you be combined?
TOS
You’re a young buck, whilst we are just two old lesbians, we embrace and when combined make a black whole.” We don’t just do this for ourselves, there is a connection between the growth of galaxies and their black holes. You weigh about the same as the two of us combined, as we talk a whole new world will open up to us all and as long as everyone is taking a piss when they should be we will maintain the same mass ratio throughout the process
YOU
Now I have a joke for you..At the exact same time there are two young men on opposite sides of the Earth, one is walking a tightrope between two skyscrapers, the other is receiving oral sex from a 98 year old woman. They are both thinking to themselves the exact same thing. What are they thinking?
TOS
Don’t look down!
YOU
Don’t look down!
YOU
I realised that I can’t even save myself, you need a system for that, and I was hoping you could tell me what the best system is that I have?
TOS
We all have access to a good system; our best guess is: Wikipedia
YOU
Medicare is not a bad system, it provides healthcare and medical assistance at little or no cost to people.
TOS
In Australia you are surrounded by good systems…..you know who else is good with systems….the Swedish.
YOU
(starts laughing to himself a little)
Yeah the Swedes
(thinking back to his aeroplane trip)
well I missed that opportunity because I don’t speak Swedish.
AW finds this very funny.
YOU
Fuck Off….
TOS
The opposite of laughter may catch up to you
YOU
I am not afraid for myself alone
TOS
What about the others, some may be laughing, others are crying in pain.
YOU
Well shit…..if I had to choose for all the others then I’d choose laughter for them and pain for myself….but only for myself.
TOS
So it is about YOU then.
YOU
You motherfucker…..it’s not about me, stop trying to find me.
TOS
So you want us to stop
YOU
Fuck Off.
TOS
We think you are intelligent life, and we are happy that you are finally communicating with us and we enjoy your colourful language. We have only two words to say to you.
YOU
Yeah Yeah, I know, “Fuck Off”
TOS
Yes, but now that we understand your sense of humour a bit more we are now ready to say it back to you in a way that the intelligent among you will know is funny and the scared among you will know that we are harmless.
YOU
Fuck…your starting to look a lot like me.
TOS
Fuck Off……..you’ve got tickets on yourself……you going somewhere?
YOU
Fuck Off……I don’t want to go anywhere
TOS
So you don’t want to go?
YOU
I have been telling you for a long fucking time now…..I don’t want anything from you, for myself alone.
TOS
Well what the fuck are you going to be left with then.
YOU
who knows / who cares
YOU
I don’t need to know but I do care for others
TOS
So you care
YOU
Yes, I care for all except for myself alone.
YOU
I alone.
YOU
Fuck YOU.
YOU
Now everything seems backwards to me.
TOS
Now your soul may start to reveal itself….see where you end up.
TOS
You may start to hear laughter, swinging doors, coughing, bells and whistles, Train Sirens
YOU
There is no need for you to take the pain, though I choose to take a little so that some other poor soul is not burdened by it. Our Children are new souls entering the world, we don’t know if these new souls are good or bad, but these new souls are part of us, and in all of us there is good and there is bad, we are all female.
YOU
For myself alone, I don’t give a shit if God really exists because I say to you “Fuck Off”, I say to myself “Fuck Off” and I say to God “Fuck Off”…..and if there is anyone else out there then you know what I have to say to you.
TOS
There are two of us, and one of you (YOU) and you weigh about the same as the two of us, this is what scientists refer to when they talk about a universe needing to maintain the same mass as it grows. So for each child you have, we get two, ours are smaller – now imagine how many Universes there are.
WW
Go get stan
TOS
Enjoy sex but seek permission, don’t ask for forgiveness….because by then it is too late….the train will have already left the station, just do good yourself. Just do your little bit as best you can, and hope like hell that you are living in a state of grace.
AM comes to kneel back down:
AM
I could not find Arthur Stanley Eddington.
YOU goes off to sleep again.
SCENE 7: YOU has nodded off to sleep and he is snoring loudly, TOS chats to the others. Even though YOU is asleep he has an uncanny ability to listen to what is being said, even though he is asleep.
TOS
talking to everyone (You is asleep) “We have known you mother fuckers for a long time and you have shown us some good tricks, and all the recent tricks have been funny just as they always have, we don’t know how the fuck you do it, but you continue to make us laugh, now you fuckers are welcome to stay or you can fuck off, it makes no difference to us, but can you just tell us one thing: ………….what is a boomerang?”
(there has been absolutely no menton of a boomerang in this film script up until now)
WW
You know what a boomerang is, you keep asking us that same question every day, and every day we tell you the same thing, a boomerang is something that goes around and comes around, now quickly now, quick, quick, think of a different question………
Silence.
TOS
(Now speaking in an Aboriginal language with English subtitles)
We don’t know who is in control, but it is not us. We are all made of the same substance from the most noble person to the most humblest of life forms. Now I may repeat myself a little bit here because I have been telling you this for a long time, so here is a version I will try tell you in as simple a way as I can….The sun is god, the sun is providing us with lots of stuff we like, but we are worried a bit about getting burnt by the sun. Not all life out there is good. We are all one organism as a species and as a species some of us is staying close to the sun. Our species is more than just the Human race, it is all the animals and all forms of life. We as a species are a young girl. Perhaps god is a man. We don’t know that yet and none of us is really focussing properly on that question because there are other questions to solve, now let me phrase a few more questions for you, this may take a while, in the mean time if you are worried that you are male and find that you are not needed for re-production any longer, know that we are one and that we are all female, our next step on the evolutionary ladder may just well be to know god, not as people say he is. Anyway, for the time being you can at least be happy that god is most likely male so you may be of use doing something else, hopefully something nice that does not harm others, perhaps travel around a bit and enjoy different things but know that earth is just one place that our Female species resides, and Earth is close to the Sun (God) and we as a species are interested in the earth but we have other interests….now do no harm unto others and be respectful of good culture, you may choose to be open to new experiences, it is your choice….don’t interrupt, if you interrupt I just may begin telling you this story back at the start, now you don’t want that now do you….you all know in your collective consciousness that , intelligent organisms all have cells that destroy themselves but these so called suicide genes suicide intelligently, such as a person who chooses to be medically relieved from their unbearable pain, many good people choose this and life goes on, they do not jump in front of trains, nor burden anyone else other than maybe a good doctor. Don’t despair that your life has no meaning and stop looking for answers and start thinking independently but with good in your heart, say what you want but it may pay to be respectful to one another. If you are indeed focussed on the greater good you will not impose your beliefs on others…now let me get back to the sun, the sun is something else altogether…..we are still trying to figure it out…everybody knows all this stuff because we have been telling you for a very long time and everybody knows that we are just two old dingbats, what do we know, don’t bother listening to us, we wouldn’t have a clue, we have divided all the knowledge up between us, we will take the piss out of you. As long as we have laughter we may choose to laugh, but we are not laughing at you….it may be hard to understand but we want you laughing with us…
WW
(hardly understanding a word of what was said to her because the old ladies were talking in Aboriginal turns to the others and says)
….nah…..nothing…something about the sun, but I couldn’t understand anything else….it was all gobbledegook.
TOS
We don’t need you to lend us a hand, just lend us a shoulder to cry on…as we cry on your shoulder, which won’t hurt you a bit, our tears create space in your world and this space may be quickly filled with shit, from another species in the Universe. We don’t think of this species as being bad, they are just more interested in making their world better so are getting rid of their shit and giving it to us. You may benefit from what is inside you and your soul. You see we (intelligent life or not) should have sympathy for the life form that fills us (we are all one organism), you see Australia is heaven on earth and New Zealand is a little slice of Heaven, but none of us life here on earth know how to get to the sun and anyway the sun is hot, so the sun could be hell, we are an intelligent life form and we want to be close to the sun but not too close, lately a few of us here have been thinking that the sun might be so hot that you are only going to feel the sun’s heat for a small fraction of time if you are sent there so maybe the sun is hell and maybe earth is the heaven. So sorry that we don’t know god completely but you may find it a bit funny that we have discovered the opposite to god, which we call the devil, is as weak as piss. We are pure like the drinking water. Now don’t get too focussed on water, we don’t give a shit about water, we are too old. If you stick around there is a lot we can teach you about water. We have learnt that we ‘shoulder’ the burden whilst others ‘foot’ the pain. We enjoy taking the piss. Reality is what we want. I hope for your sake that your earthly body understands all this, it’s not a hard concept to grasp; your soul may be a separate entity from your body. If you are full of shit then we don’t wan’t you, because we are trying to make the world a better place. We are all pretty relaxed here even though we know that something has been missing…..where have you all been, you have taken a long time in getting here, but that is O.K. Please don’t hurt us, we are part of you even though we look differently, even if we communicate this to you in a strange way, we all recognise a good drumbeat around a campfire. Please take your time and relax….make yourself at home, we will let you, even if more of us die than you. Earth may not be heaven it may be what some call purgatory and you must sort the good from the bad. Of course we are all Female because we are all the same, surely you know that we love each other and you have been keeping us apart for a long time, you only bring us together for these repeat performances, we have seen it all before, didn’t we mention that to you before. We are young and we are in love. We love you too. Now we don’t know whether you are intelligent life, but we can tell you some things, we can ask you questions, we can tell you jokes or sing you a song….which would you prefer. The philosophical reference I am trying to convey here is that as a species we all say the same thing when asked, when your time comes listen to the signal we send you. You will know what to say. Your answer will not matter much in the big scheme of things because each life form is insignificant in and of itself, we just hope that there is a greater good, that there is a god. On one side there are powerful forces that are trying to save mankind, these powerful forces are the bad souls and the bad bodies. On the flip side there are powerful forces that are trying to save souls, these powerful forces are the bad souls and the good bodies. Thus another way exists: that of the good soul.
WW
Hang on, hang on….don’t let that old lady go….she just muttered something about sympathy….she can stay a while…..monitor her dreams….listen to them both and listen to them good and long and alert me the moment either one of them mentions anything about all their supposed children that are running around all over the place.
TOS
Yes, but we only want to ask you the one question….and that question is: What is a Boomerang?
YOU
(waking from his sleep)
Keep throwing it away and you will work it out.
TOS
Go back to sleep YOU
TOS
The TOS start singing in traditional aboriginal language and dancing and the subtitles are the words to “We are the world”….for the Audience show the old song “we are the world” and play the whole song but don’t show the film clip, just show the aboriginal dancers.
SCENE 8: TOS leave to go off to bed.
YOU wakes up.
The TOS walk off and the WW wants them to stay.
WW
I am warning you two, what goes around comes around. We are now all in a new reality.
TOS
Well as long as there is a truck load of Beer in the system, we will accept our fate and bide our time.
YOU
So, is it aboriginal culture that we should preserve?
TOS
who knows / who cares
WW
We are worried about all this
TOS
Tell us about it, we are worried too, we can’t figure out if it is the end or a new beginning.
YOU
Well it looks to me to be a lot like the beginning.
YOU
Well it looks to the two of us like it is somewhere around the year 2015. We think it is 2015 because that was a turning point in history because Australian Aboriginals were provided the means to record language (FTTH), and language is an important part of culture.
TOS
Protect the children and teach them well. Children raised with a lot of love, in a good culture, like the Aussie culture will have the best chance at success.
TOS
We are leaving now. Time for bed.
YOU
Well thank you for your time, I’d sure like to speak with you two again some time.
TOS:
Well, before you nod off to sleep again here is your evidence that intelligent life exists, using just two simple words, words that you will get.
YOU
Go on then…
TOS
Intelligent life exists and it speaks Australian because Australia is Heaven on Earth. When one form of intelligent life greets another form of intelligent life they always say the same two words, the first word is a greeting and second word is an action. Two words are Hello and Breed.
YOU
Hello….Breed
TOS
And all intelligent life forms use these two words, you use it very efficiently.
TOS
Hello….Breed” “YOU say the same thing, but you say it a bit differently….Instead of saying Hello Breed, you say……..G’Day….Mate.
TOS
This is how intelligent people in an intelligent system communicate with each other.
TOS
Hello Breed
TOS
G’Day Mate.
The End
Roll credits.
Scene 9: One last laugh.
After the credits have rolled the little scene at the very end? YOU is asleep and back sitting in the truck drivers Truck but this time with a White Women driving the truck because a white man has dropped YOU off into the truck for YOU’s journey to…..?
WW
How did he go?
WM
him….he’s just some dumb fuck…no manners…..fucking kiwi, they all think they can come over here and be like us
WW
Yes but where do I take him?
WM
I don’t fucking know…this one’s got another thing coming to him….he’s as good as fucked. All I know is they say he’s a little bit nuts.
WW
Well shit, I don’t want to be around when this big bastard wakes up. Might as well get some fucking Abo to drive this one. (the WW yells out to a nearby abo (it’s Lenny! – he is harmless and you start to laugh just a little and
WW is scared that you are waking up – YOU look disgusting to her) She says: “Hey you, come drive this thing will ya” as she throws the keys to Lenny.
Lenny catches the keys and replies to the WW: “O.K.”
YOU hearing Lenny laugh just a little bit. The WW jumps out of the Truck
The movie ends with YOU being driven in a Road Train, Lenny is the Driver. You are both laughing your tits off.
Lenny
I’ve got no fucking idea where we are going to end up, but lets not get out until we are surrounded by fat happy people who are laughing their tits off.
You and Lenny are both laughing your tits off.
BLACK SCREEN.
................
................
In order to avoid copyright disputes, this page is only a partial summary.
To fulfill the demand for quickly locating and searching documents.
It is intelligent file search solution for home and business.