OUR RELATIONSHIP NOTEBOOK



OUR RELATIONSHIP NOTEBOOK

DETAILED TABLE OF CONTENTS

See summary table of contents for quick overview. Place in the front of the notebook.

(While on the web, using this page you can link directly to the items in underlined red below.)

PART I. WHAT WE WANT, HAVE, AND CAN DO

PURPOSE, MISSION, VISION, GOALS

    Our Purpose, Mission

    Our Vision[1]

         Our Overall Vision

         Our Detailed Vision

     The Criteria For A Healthy, Excellent Relationship

     Our Goals[2]

COMMITMENTS, OVERALL

Commitments, Overall We Have Made[3]

Overall principles, practices and “rules” we are committed to

    How we view relationship in general and ours in particular

SPECIAL SIGNIFICANCES FOR US:

     Our song(s)

     Other specially significance items, symbols, places

     Our memories (a special separate book would of course be a good idea)

ACTIVITIES WE CAN DO TOGETHER

      Stuff we can do together

      Trips to take

PART II. CREATING MORE OF WHAT WE WANT, LESS OF NOT WANTED

ENHANCING THE RELATIONSHIP

    Actions 

    Relationship Skills To Learn[4]

    Resources we can utilize[5]

STATUS CHECKUPS

    Our relationship checkups[6]

      Each partner checkups

Commitments made – how doing

RECOGNITIONS

      My Acknowledgement of my partner's intentions and what I appreciate

         about and in my partner

  Lists of what we each appreciate about the other[7]

ISSUES, CONCERNS, ITEMS TO WORK ON

     Issues

          Ongoing

          Resolved

     Complaints

Concerns

NEEDS, WANTS

    Each of our "conditions of satisfaction" for what we want from the other

    What makes each of us feel loved

AGREEMENTS[8]

    Our agreements and commitments as we go

         Overall

         Children

         Monetary

         Lifestyle

             Travel

             Time together

         Health

         Duties

         Communication

         How we will treat each other

         Developing our relationship 

APPENDIX. THE MECHANICS AND SUPPORTING STRUCTURES

COUPLE’S COUNCIL

Agenda[9]

Rules

FORMS AND TOOLS WE USE

Couples’ Dialogue

    Behavioral Change Request Form[10]

    Current Upset Resolution Form[11]

    Sentence Stems

    Our "Check Up" Forms (see Status Checkups, above)

     How Are We Doing?

         How Am I Doing?

RESOURCES, BOOKS[12]

    Books for us to read

    Resources

FOR FUTURE MEETINGS

   Notes for Discussion (or put up in the front of the notebook)

What to cover in the next (or future) meeting

NOTES (Could just put in a labeled file folder)

   Notes from discussion, storage

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[1] , Relationships, Sustaining, Planning/Vision/Goals                      Relationship Vision - An example

[2] , Relationships, Sustaining, Planning/Vision/Goals   Goals For Our Relationship - An example

[3] , Relationships, Sustaining, Planning/Vision/Goals                      WHAT IS WANTED IN OUR RELATIONSHIP

[4] , Relationships, Sustaining, Learning/Mastering,   Learning: Topics To Learn About To Enhance Our Relationship - Choose Which

[5] , Relationship Resources

[6] Go to , Relationships, Sustaining, Tests – such as ***WHERE ARE WE IN OUR RELATIONSHIP?  (longer test) or Checkup Test (Quick) - How Is The Relationship Doing?

[7] , Relationships, Sustaining, Topics Overall, Loving, Appreciating Your Partner - A vital exercise where you list … AND What I Appreciate About My Partner - An exercise to give you a perspective…

[8] , Relationships, Sustaining, Agreements/Commitments/Rules,         Our List of Agreements - An example for you to accumulate agreements of yours, Relationship Agreements That Should Be Completed - By Category ,  Spending Agreements - What we agree to, including a set of forms to track what is happening, Written Agreements In Our Relationship (An example - from which you might pick some)

[9]  , Relationships, Communication, Methods   *WEEKLY COUPLE'S COUNCIL  AND Weekly Family "Life" Meeting Agenda - Example . 

[10] , Relationships, Communication, Methods  Behavior Change Request Form

[11] , Relationships, Communication, Methods   Current Upset Resolution Exercise - Worksheet  

[12] , Relationship Resources

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