Coping with Criticism - Fresh Fire Ministries



Life Application Sermon Series

Coping with Criticism . . . Sermon #1

Matthew 7: 3

Text Scripture:

3. And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?

Literally translated: And why do you look at the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?

INTRO:

For the next twelve weeks or so, while I’m here with you, I am going to preach a series of sermons on Wednesday night that I am entitling: Life Application Sermons.

The purpose of these sermons will be to deal with “life issues” that hit us where we live.

You have heard me say often that it is my personal belief that for a sermon to be effective, it must make a “life application” in our personal lives. If it doesn’t, it is pointless to preach the sermon!

Tonight I am going to preach the first of these sermons. This sermon deals with “Coping with Criticism.”

ILLUSTRATION:

Charles Spurgeon and DL moody were two of the greatest preachers of the 19th century.

• Although Moody had never met Spurgeon, he admired him greatly.

• One day while in London Moody arranged to meet Spurgeon.

• He found his residence and knocked on the door.

• Much to Moody’s horror, Spurgeon open the door with a cigar in his mouth.

• Moody exclaimed, “How could you, a man of God, smoke that?”

• Spurgeon took the cigar from his mouth, placed his finger on Moody’s stomach and replied, “The same way that you, a man of God, could be that fat!”

It is easy to see the faults in others, but difficult to see them in ourselves!

*Faults are like the headlights in a car . . . those of others seem more glaring than our own!

I suppose that it goes without saying that no one likes to be criticized. But yet, it is a reality of life that we must learn to deal with.

As a pastor I have been criticized all my ministry.

I have been criticized for:

Preaching too long . . .

Preaching too short . . .

Being too Spiritual . . .

Not being Spiritual enough . . .

Not visiting when I should . . .

Visiting when I shouldn’t . . .

Taking too hard of a stand on an issue . . .

Not taking a hard enough stand on an issue . . .

Being too strict on my children . . .

Not being strict enough on my children . . .

Being too demanding on my wife . . .

Not being demanding enough on my wife . . .

Not preaching enough revivals . . .

Preaching too many revivals. (By-the-way, during the last few weeks while I’ve been away preaching revival services . . . five souls have accepted Jesus Christ as their Savior that otherwise may have died and gone to Hell!)

Being to solemn . . .

Kidding around too much . . .

And on & on I could go . . . But through the years I have learned two great truths about criticism:

1: Usually, there is some grain of truth in every criticism. If we will listen to what people are saying . . . we will usually profit from it.

2: Despite criticism, we must be who and what we really are. If people don’t accept you for who you are, they will not accept you for who you try to be!

I subscribe to the Jeff Easters’ Father’s theology on this issue.

He told Jeff: Son, never try to be someone you are not, be yourself.

For if you become who you aren’t then you aren’t who you are.

In other words . . . if you ain’t who you is . . . you is who you ain’t!

*If given the choice, I had rather be criticized for being who & what I am, than for being who & what I’m not!

Tonight I want to look at six reasons why people criticize and four ways in which we should respond.

Six Reasons Why People Criticize:

1: Some people criticize because they have critical spirits.

In my years of pastoring and dealing with people in secular work I have discovered that there are people in this world that are not happy unless they:

a. Are moaning, groaning, and complaining about something.

I have heard people ask, “How is so & so doing today?” And the reply would be, “He’s fine. He’s down on his job complaining about everything and everybody!

b. Are blaming their problems on somebody else.

ILLUSTRATION:

In one of the Pastoral Nuggets, I wrote about the following incident.

• Man and wife pulled into full service gas station . . .

• Attendant washed windshield . . .

• Man said it was still dirty . . . wash it again . . .

• Attendant washed it a second time being careful to get all the bugs off . . .

• The man screamed that it was still dirty . . .

• The Attendant washed it a third time . . .

• Man yelled that it was still dirty . . . told attendant he would get him fired . . . he was the lousiest windshield washer he had ever seen . . .

• About that time the mans wife reached over and took the mans glasses off his face, cleaned them with a Kleenex, placed them back on his head . . . and the man sank in embarrassment as he viewed a perfectly clean windshield!

*Critical people view others through their own dirty glasses!

*They become angry at what they perceive to be dirt on other people, when in reality they are looking at others through the dirt on their own hearts!

• As with the man . . . critical people continue to find fault in others until the filth in their lives has been cleansed!

2: Some people criticize because they don’t know the whole story.

A: The critical person refuses to see life from any perspective, other than his own.

ILLUSTRATION:

The other day I shared a story in the Pastoral Nuggets with you about a missionary that had translated the Bible into the “Lisu” language and taught one of the local natives how to read.

As the missionary left to go on furlough, he instructed the native to take the Bible and teach others how to read.

When the missionary returned he was shocked at what he discovered.

The native was teaching three other people to read. His method was to placed the Bible on a table and tell the other three what the words were.

But, because each man always sat at the same spot around the table they each learned to read from their own perspective.

• The one on the left learned to read: Left to right.

• The one on the right learned to read: Right to left.

• The one across the table learned to read: Upside down.

ILLUSTRATION:

A teenage boy and girl were arguing in class at school. Each was vigorously defending their point of view on the subject in question.

The teacher, realizing an opportunity to teach a “life lesson” instructed the boy to go to one side of the room and the girl to the other.

The teacher carefully took out a ball and placed it on his desk.

He asked the boy what color it was . . . He replied, “Black.”

The girl immediately replied, “Well that’s stupid. Everybody in this room can see that it’s white!”

The teacher told them to swap side of the room and tell him what color the ball was.

Sheepishly, the girl replied, “It’s black.”

The boy retorted, “No it’s not. It’s white!”

*The ball was half black and half white . . . the answer was dependent on their point of view! . . . Wow!

Sometimes we criticize because we only see the picture from . . . our point of view!

3: Some people criticize because it makes them feel better about themselves.

A: The critic usually has a terrible self-image.

Continual complaining is usually a sign of low self esteem . . . The person that has the low self-image feels vindicated if they can pull somebody that they are intimidated by, down to their level.

The only way they can get them to their level is to try and destroy them.

This is usually done by assassinating their character and slandering their reputation.

Saul and David are a good example of this.

• Saul was king.

• He had an inferiority complex.

• He got mad because after one of the battles the women sang that Saul had killed his thousands and David his tens of thousands.

• Saul threw a spear at David and tried to pin him to the wall.

• Instead of living for God as he should . . . Saul became obsessed with destroying David, spent the rest of his life attempting to destroy him, and missed the joy of living life!

• Saul reasoned that the only way he could be vindicated was to “destroy David.”

We never vindicate ourselves by destroying somebody else . . . We vindicate ourselves by doing God’s work . . . together!

4: Some people criticize because it’s easier to complain about problems than to solve them.

A: Steam locomotive Christians.

Some Christians are like a steam locomotive . . . They have enough steam to “blow the whistle” but not enough steam to “pull the train!”

I am convinced that some people think their Spiritual gift is to tell the pastor what he is doing wrong . . . or what is wrong with the church . . . or worse yet . . . not to tell the pastor, but to tell everybody else!

It is easy to build up enough steam to “blow the whistle.” That’s the easy part. But the truth is, not many are willing to put enough “faith and prayer logs” on the fire, and enough of the “Living Water” in the boiler to develop enough steam to start “the wheels of problem resolution” turning on the train!

We’d rather just sit and complain and blow off steam!

5: Some people criticize because the person is Godly.

2 Timothy 3: 12:

12. Yea, and all that will live godly in Christ Jesus shall suffer persecution.

*For every Godly action there is an equal, but opposite criticism! . . . Amen!

Jesus was perfect. If anybody could have straightened out critics, certainly it was He!

But instead of worshiping Him, the critics hated Him without a cause and nailed Him to a tree!

John 15: 25: (Jesus said)

25 But this cometh to pass, that the word might be fulfilled that is written in their law, They hated me without a cause.

A: Jesus promised us that the world would hate those that followed Him.

John 15: 18-19 (Jesus said):

18 If the world hate you, ye know that it hated me before it hated you.

19. If ye were of the world, the world would love his own: but because ye are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world hateth you.

• The reason people criticize us is really quite simple: It’s because we are living for Jesus!

• Satan isn’t happy about it!

• He will bring critical people against us whenever he can . . .

• He wants to discourage you and me because he wants to stop our work for Jesus!

• Like it or not that’s just the way it is!

6: Some people criticize because a “real fault” needs correcting.

A: There is truth to be learned in every criticism if we’ll listen.

ILLUSTRATION:

Several years ago the discussion of a movie came up.

A person told me, “Preacher, I can’t believe you watched an “R” rated movie.

My justification was:

• It wasn’t “that bad.” . . .

• Just a few curse words . . .

• no nudity . . .

• My wife and I are adults.

• We watched it in the privacy of our own home.

• I kinda got angry at them judging me . . .

But after I got through being angry, I realized they were right!

My wife and I agreed that no more “R” movies . . . and now there’s very few PG-13’s!

*In every criticism . . . there is some grain of truth!

Four Ways to Respond to Criticism:

1: View your critics as being sent from God.

2 Samuel 16: 5-10:

5 And when king David came to Bahurim, behold, thence came out a man of the family of the house of Saul, whose name was Shimei, the son of Gera: he came forth, and cursed still as he came.

6 And he cast stones at David, and at all the servants of king David: and all the people and all the mighty men were on his right hand and on his left.

7 And thus said Shimei when he cursed, Come out, come out, thou bloody man, and thou man of Belial:

8 The LORD hath returned upon thee all the blood of the house of Saul, in whose stead thou hast reigned; and the LORD hath delivered the kingdom into the hand of Absalom thy son: and, behold, thou art taken in thy mischief, because thou art a bloody man.

9 Then said Abishai the son of Zeruiah unto the king, Why should this dead dog curse my lord the king? let me go over, I pray thee, and take off his head.

10. And the king said, What have I to do with you, ye sons of Zeruiah? so let him curse, because the LORD hath said unto him, Curse David. Who shall then say, Wherefore hast thou done so?

*David saw God’s hand in the situation!

A: When some one criticizes us the first thing we should ask is: God, what are you trying to teach me through this?

It will help if we view the person (Maybe not his methods) but the person, as being sent from God.

Jesus taught us how to respond to criticism:

Luke 6: 22-23:

22 Blessed are ye, when men shall hate you, and when they shall separate you from their company, and shall reproach you, and cast out your name as evil, for the Son of man's sake.

23. Rejoice ye in that day, and leap for joy: for, behold, your reward is great in heaven: for in the like manner did their fathers unto the prophets.

2: Find the grain of truth in the criticism.

Many times a grain of truth is found in what the critic is saying!

Shimei accused David of being judged by God for being a “bloody man.”

He was right. God wouldn’t allow David to build the temple because of this . . . Solomon built it!

When we are criticized, we can use the critics to our advantage.

ILLUSTRATION:

When Gen. Dwight D. Eisenhower was about to implement a plan, he showed it to his greatest critics. They, of course, usually tore it apart, explaining that it would never work.

When asked why he “wasted his time” allowing critics to review his plan instead of planning with a group of strategist that were sympathetic to his plan, he replied, “Because my critics help me find the weaknesses in the plan so I can correct them!”

3: Don’t counter-criticize your critics.

ILLUSTRATION:

• Jefferson Davis, president of the Confederate States of America asked Gen. Robert E. Lee to give his opinion of another military officer.

• Gen. Lee praised the man and told what a wonderful job he had done.

• A man that was present overheard him and asked, “Gen. Lee, don’t you know that the man of whom you speak so highly is one of your bitterest enemies and misses no opportunity to slander you?”

• Lee answered, “Yes, but the President asked my opinion of him. He didn’t ask his opinion of me!” . . . Ouch! . . . that hurts doesn’t it?

When we receive criticism, it is easy to lower ourselves to the critic’s level and “counter-criticize.”

David could have had Shimei’s head cut off . . . he didn’t!

Instead of trading insult for insult we should attempt to find the grain of truth and correct ourselves!

*When Jesus stood before Caiphas there were many “false witness” brought against him.

*Learn this truth . . . no matter how perfect the man . . . somebody is ready to slander him!

Jesus didn’t defend himself against “false accusations” because no matter how good the defense, they would not have received it. Their minds were already made up against Him!

Jesus entrusted Himself to Him who judges righteously! . . . he did it for an example for us!

4: Don’t allow critics to discourage you.

ILLUSTRATION:

Sir Christopher Wren rebuilt St. Paul’s Cathedral in London, and much of the town after the great fire of 1666.

When he submitted his design drawings to rebuild the town hall one of the politicians stated that he thought Wren should add extra pillars to support the roof.

Wren, the greatest architect in the region argued that his designs were adequate to support the roof.

However, the politician took his argument to the people and it was decide that the hall must have the extra columns to support the roof.

Many years later, after the politician and Wren were both dead, repairs and cleaning were being done on the hall. Much to the workers surprise, they discovered that invisible from the floor below, the extra columns that Wren had put in were two inches short of touching the roof!

*He knew he was right despite of what the critics said.

*He refused to allow them shake his confidence in what he knew was right!

CLOSE:

I have preached a lot tonight on criticism.

Perhaps tonight you have allowed your critics to discourage you.

Remember this:

The bottom line is we must please God . . . not man.

On Judgement day it will be God judging us . . . not our critics!

Preached: 4-21-99 @ Roper Heights Baptist Church.

Preached: 6-23-04 @ Glenn Baptist Church (Interim Pastorate)

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