Beautiful Minds: Women



[pic]

Christians Gone Mild

Session Four: Pure romance

Song of Songs 2:10-13

Romance reminds us of reality

Information to help your study and

prepare for your talk

I. Introduction

Hook: Notebooked

Begin the lesson by surveying your students to see what their favorite kind of movie is – action, comedy, artsy, or romantic. Tell the students that today’s lesson is for anyone that loves romantic movies. Ask the students to shout out a few of their favorite romantic moments from movies, and comment on some of your own. Perhaps the most romantic movie in recent years was The Notebook. Maybe you can say it with Noah: “I am no one special, just a common man with common thoughts. I’ve led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me, and my name will soon be forgotten. But in one respect I have succeeded as gloriously as anyone who ever lived – I’ve loved another with all my heart and soul, and for me, that has always been enough.” Many girls love the movie, and many guys have been notebooked. The TV show One Tree Hill popularized the term, describing how a girl gets a boy to watch the movie and thus makes him emotional and weepy and only worried about talking about his feelings. Today, we’re all going to be notebooked with a scene that won the MTV movie award for best kiss in 2005.

(Citation: ; )

(Teacher’s Note: Measured from the beginning of the opening credit, this scene begins at 0:03:16 and ends at 0:03:57. The Notebook is rated PG-13 for some sexuality.)

Relating the hook: Some guys wish that The Notebook was never filmed, because it makes them look so unromantic. But if we are honest, we all want someone to care for us, pursue us, fight for us, and never give up on us. Maybe you haven’t built the girl of your dreams a house or had a guy write you 365

letters with no reply, but we all know what it’s like to feel as if you would do anything for someone. Romantic love is a powerful force that none of us can deny. So today, we’re going to look at the kind of pure romance God wants us to have in our lives.

(Deleted scene: If a movie clip is not an option, run your own version of the dating game and focus the questions on how romantic love alters the way we see others. Offer gift certificates for a date night as the prize.)

II. Background

• Background information for the book Song of Songs can be found in the first lesson of this set.

III. Thought 1: Till death do us part

We all desire to be loved, pursued, and respected until the day we die. This is reflected in our marriage vows – till death do us part – and the woman’s words in the Song of Songs. “My lover spoke and said to me, ‘Arise, my darling, my beautiful one, and come with me. See! The winter is past; the rains are over and gone. Flowers appear on the earth; the season of singing has come, the cooing of doves is heard in our land. The fig tree forms its early fruit; the blossoming vines spread their fragrance. Arise, come, my darling, my beautiful one, come with me.’” (v. 10-13) The time was finally right for them to experience the romance of love.

Over the past three weeks, we have sought to reconnect our scattering longings for sex and intimacy back to the One who created them in the first place. Today we’re going to do the same with romance. Now you may never have thought to connect romance and God, but Charles Williams (a close friend of C.S. Lewis) did. Charles wrote about how romance gives us the ability, even if only for a brief time, to see the best in one other person, to ignore or forgive flaws, to bask in the endless fascination. That state, Charles says, gives us a glimpse of how we will one day view every resurrected person. Even more, this is how God now views us.

(Citation: As found in Philip Yancey, Rumors of Another World (Grand Rapids, Mich., Zondervan, 2003) 89-90.)

Think about that for a second. We have all heard that Jesus loves us, but we may not have thought about how that means that Jesus has the ability to forgive our flaws and that He is endlessly fascinated with us. The reason romantic love strikes such a deep chord in us is that God created it to be a hint of how He feels about us. Romance is a reminder of the reality of God’s love for us. Romantic love and desire are not enemies of the Christian life. If we ignore and

demonize these desires, we will become Christians gone mild. But if we connect these desires back to their divine source and act on them in line with the Moral Boundaries God has set up for us, we will be able to experience and enjoy the wonder, mystery, and beauty God has in store for us. We will be connected to one another and connected to God till death do us part.

Illustration: Beloved

Brennan Manning tells a story about a poor Latin American woman to whom he ministered at a leper hospital. She was near dying, so Brennan was spending time with her one day. As he turned to get his Bible behind him, he noticed the room light up, and he whispered, “Thank you for the sunshine, Jesus.” But when he turned back around, he was startled to see that the light came not from the window but from the sick woman’s face. At a loss about what to say, he blurted out, “So, I see you are feeling better.” She nodded, and so Brennan asked what was making her feel better. She said, “I can hear my Jesus’ voice calling for me.” Brennan asked what Jesus was saying, and she quoted today’s passage: “Arise, my darling, my beautiful one, and come with me. See! The winter is past; the rains are over and gone. Flowers appear on the earth; the season of singing has come, the cooing of doves is heard in our land. The fig tree forms its early fruit; the blossoming vines spread their fragrance. Arise, come, my darling, my beautiful one, come with me.” That night the woman died. Brennan discovered this the next morning when he went to see the nurse at the front desk. Brennan sighed and then shared the story of his conversation the day before and how this woman had quoted the most beautiful passage of Scripture. The nurse looked puzzled, and when Brennan asked why she said that would be impossible because the woman was illiterate and had only recently been introduced to Jesus.

(Citation: Brennan Manning, lecture at Covenant College, 2002)

Relating the illustration: The romance in this passage and the romance in the world is a trace of the love God feels for us. The great news is that, while our romances on earth may be till death do us part, our romance with God becomes even more mysteriously wonderful when we die. He loves us now so that He can love us even more fully one day. Until death reunites us, we can pursue our Pursuer and embrace romance with Him.

IV. Thought 2: Revolutionary romance

This whole series has been a radical departure from the normal sex talks you hear at church. But we haven’t been teaching a different truth – it is true that if you are a Christian, God’s plan for your human sexuality is for you to enjoy sex solely within the context of marriage. If you do, you will be best connected to your spouse and to God.

Sex is wonderful, mysterious, and explosive, but it is only part of the romance God has for us. Even in marriage sex can be a mindless physical act of selfishness. But when it is enjoyed as God intended in a deep, intimate connection, it is a revolutionary experience of romance and love. Christians should not be pro-abstinence and anti-sex – far from it! Instead, God’s followers want to have an incredible sex life by celebrating, protecting, and practicing sex, intimacy, and romance in appropriate ways. These things are best when we are connected physically, emotionally, and spiritually to another person and are a celebration of that love and romance.

So today we end with a revolutionary call for you – one that will get us in trouble if you misunderstand it. We want you to be the most romantic, sexual people at this church, because these things are really signs of connection to God and each other. Learn how to be connected students – connected to God and each other. Practice serving, loving, and encouraging each other. These things won’t magically happen after you get married and have God’s blessing for sex. Some of the most romantic, sexual people aren’t even married. It’s not because they are in great shape and look amazing. It’s because they are truly connected to other people and to God.

Illustration: Reality romance

Conduct an interview with a married couple in front of your group or on video to illustrate the points in today’s lesson. This interview should help your students see how they can live out the principles we have looked at over the past four weeks. End this interview by focusing on how your students can experience intimacy and personal connection right now and how that will help them protect their sexuality for the appropriate expression in marriage. Here are some potential questions for the interview:

• What first attracted you to each other?

• How does your love go beyond that attraction? What makes you love each other?

• What did you see in this person that made you want to commit your life to him/her?

• How have you developed your connection with each other?

• How have you developed connections with others, including same-sex friends? How has this helped your marriage?

• What helped you to protect your sexuality for marriage? What helped you prepare for sexuality and intimacy in marriage?

• How does God affect your romantic relationship? How does your romantic relationship affect your view of God?

• Since you got married, how have your views of sexuality and romance changed?

• Some people think that once you get married, you will never struggle with protecting your sexuality again. Have you found that to be true? If not, how do you deal with those struggles and temptations? How did the way you looked at sexuality and romance before marriage affect these struggles and temptations?

• If you could talk to yourself when you were in high school, what would you tell yourself about sexuality, intimacy, and romance?

Relating the illustration: We love romances like the one in The Notebook, but this kind of romance is far more special. The reality of this romance shows us that we really can follow God’s Moral Boundaries to pure excitement, pure sexuality, pure intimacy, and pure romance. And this kind of romance is a reminder of the reality of God’s love for us.

V. Conclusion

God does not want us to be boring, lifeless Christians gone mild who are bound by false ideas and bad theology. Instead, in His power He wants to unleash a pure excitement in our lives for the unstoppable, contagious love of Jesus Christ. God wants us to establish solid connections with Him and with others so that we will be able to protect and promote our sexual natures in keeping with God’s picture. God is the Creator and Designer of human sexuality. Let us honor Him by embracing the beauty and mystery and romance of the connections He has made with us and with each other by living within His Moral Boundaries.

Questions to help you process what you’ve learned and consider how you can make the lesson your own. Answer these questions before you begin putting your talk together

1. How have you experienced the joy of pure romance in your life? How have you found this romance to be a reminder of the reality of God’s love for us? How can you share your journey in this area with your students during this lesson?

2. What is today’s big idea? How does it describe the main thoughts of today’s lesson? How does it fit in with the bottom line of this lesson set? How can you communicate this big idea to your students in a creative and memorable way?

3. What do you need to do to make the “Reality romance” illustration in thought 2 work? What couples in your church would be effective communicators in this area? What is the best format for this time – interview, video, Q&A, or something else? How can you take this idea to the next level with your group?

4. How can you use the picture of romance in today’s lesson to ultimately point your students toward God’s love for them? What do you need to do to make this connection clear by the end of the lesson?

A game-day guide for your talk

Big Idea: Romance reminds us of reality

I. Introduction

• Use the “Notebooked” hook.

• Transition statement: We all want someone to care for us, pursue us, fight for us, and never give up on us. Today we’re going to look at the kind of pure romance God wants us to experience.

II. Background

• Use the background summary from Session One.

• Read Song of Songs 2:10-13.

III. Thought 1: Till death do us part

• Teaching point: We all desire to be loved, pursued, and respected until the day we die. This is reflected in our marriage vows – till death do us part – and the woman’s words in the Song of Songs.

• Teaching point: The reason romantic love strikes such a deep chord in us is that God created it to be a hint of how He feels about us. Romance is a reminder of the reality of God’s love for us.

• Use the “Beloved” illustration.

• Transition statement: The romance in this passage and in the world is a trace of the love God feels for us. We can pursue our Pursuer and embrace romance with Him.

IV. Thought 2: Revolutionary romance

• Teaching point: Sex is wonderful, mysterious, and explosive, but it is only part of the romance God has for us. When it is enjoyed as God intended in a deep, intimate connection, it is a revolutionary experience of romance and love.

• Teaching point: Learn how to be connected students – connected to God and each other. Practice serving, loving, and encouraging each other. These things won’t magically happen after you get married and have God’s blessing for sex.

• Use the “Reality romance” illustration.

• Transition statement: The reality of this romance shows us that we really can follow God’s Moral Boundaries to pure excitement, pure sexuality, pure intimacy, and pure romance.

V. Conclusion

• Help your students discover the appropriate ways they can experience pure intimacy both now and in the future or point them to small group, where they will talk more about this.

Questions to help your students take hold of

today’s big idea

Big Idea: Romance reminds us of reality

Song of Songs 2:10-13

Questions

1. How did the man in today’s passage demonstrate his romantic love for his beloved? How is this like the romance we see in our world today?

2. What is the most romantic thing you’ve ever done or experienced or seen? Why was that so romantic? How did you feel after being a part of that moment?

3. How is the picture of romance a reminder of how we can connect with others, both inside of romantic relationships and in other relationships? What are some ways that we can connect with each other in this way?

4. How is pure romance a trace of the way God feels about us? How can it remind us of God’s love for us? How can it inspire us to connect more with God and with each other?

5. How can we act on our romantic, intimate, and sexual longings in appropriate ways that stay within God’s Moral Boundaries? What are some practical choices that we will have to make? What are some things we will have to say no to? Why are these choices important?

Exercise to bring home the big idea and to

emphasize the bottom line.

Close this lesson set by giving your students a chance to choose once again to stay within God’s Moral Boundaries when it comes to romance, intimacy, and sexuality. Have them do this by writing out a prayer for their future spouse. Make sure they know that no one else will see this prayer. After each student has written his or her prayer, tell the students to picture their future spouse saying this same prayer about them. Allow the students to silently read their prayers once more, and then close your group time by praying over your students and their romantic relationships.

................
................

In order to avoid copyright disputes, this page is only a partial summary.

Google Online Preview   Download