JOAN CRAWFORD HAS RISEN - SimplyScripts



JOAN CRAWFORD HAS RISEN

FROM THE GRAVE A SCEEENPLAY FOR SHORT FILM.

Time: October 31st, 1993.

Place: Rudy Wallace's apartment.

Quick synopsis: A metally unsatble college student who harbours an

unhealthy fascination with the late Joan Crawford sits cooped up inside

his tiny apartment watching Joan Crawford videos day and night. Little

does anyone know he holds a grisly secret in tow.

Scene 1#

After opening titles and music roll;

Scene fades in on: Interior, night.

We see Rudy Wallace sitting in front of his TV set, eating pizza and drinking beer. He is talking to himself.

Rudy:

Mm -hmm. Joan Crawford, a real beauty in her day, and a great actress. I cant understand why more people from my generation dont enjoy her films.

The phone on the table next to Rudy rings, he picks it up.

Rudy:

Yeah? Its your dime.

{off camera, amplified voice}

Rudy? This is Bart.

Rudy:

Yeah? Whats up, man?

Bart:

Same old same old, man. And yourself?

Rudy:

Same old. Watching flicks.

Bart:

Let me guess....a Joan Crawford flick, right?

Rudy:

Why..of course. What else?

Bart:

Man, you're really hung up on that old broad, arent you?

Rudy:

Shes not an ''old broad,'' shes fairly young. And yes, I am. So what?

Bart:

Was, man. Was young. Shes been dead almost twenty years, man.

Rudy:

Twenty five. But, love is ageless and timeless, dont you agree?

Bart:

Well, yeah, Id agree if you were talking about Pamela Anderson. But you're not. Man, you are one weird dude, you know that? Thats why I moved out on you, you were starting to give me the creeps.

Rudy:

You just dont any taste in classic films, thats all.

Bart:

Oh yeah? I liked The War Of The Worlds, and The Twilight Zone.

Rudy:

Thats different.

Bart:

How so, mister movie critic?

Rudy:

Because, thats just old cornball, cheesy sci-fi. If it wasnt for the fact some of the special effects were so good, it would be like watching a comedy, OR, a tragedy. Take your pick.

Bart:

Whatever. I just wanted to know if you wanted to go out tonight for pizza and beer. Im buying.

Rudy:

Naw....Ill just kick back, watch these flicks, already spent the cash on them now.

Bart:

Sure? I can still fix you up with Missy's friend, Anna. She still talks about you all the time.

Rudy:

Ill pass. Ill just stay home with Joan. But thanks for the offer.

Bart:

Whatever. At least Anna is cute, young, and ALIVE.

Rudy:

Yeah, yeah. Bye Bart.

Rudy hangs up.

Rudy:

{talking to himself}

Well, time for a popcorn break, and a refill on the beer.

He picks up the remote and clicks it to PAUSE. He gets up.

Camera cuts to: Int. Kitchenette. Rudy walks over to the icebox, grabs a beer, then grabs a package of microwave popcorn from the cabinet and pops it into the microwave. We hear a knocking at the basement door close to him.

Rudy:

Yeah, I hear you. But Im busy right now. You know the drill; first the movie, then you get to eat.

We hear a knock at the basement door again.

Smash cut to: Basement door. The knocking is hard enough to rattle the door on it's hinges.

Smash cut back to: Rudy.

Rudy:

Chill out!! It'll only be another hour or so. You've been down there that many years, it shouldnt make any difference by now!

More knocking, louder this time, and we hear a sound like a muffled groaning.

Rudy:

{screaming}

I SAID COOL IT!!

The knocking stops, but we hear a loud groaning coming from behind the door. It isnt a sound of pain, but one of a haunted sound, ghostlike.

Rudy:

Shut up! You dont want me to come down there! Ive got my book handy!

The moaning stops.

Rudy:

Thats what I thought. Now, Ill be down with your little snack as soon as the movie is over. Okay?

He opens the icebox again, and pulls out a plastic jug full of what looks like blood. He looks at it, then puts in back in.

Rudy:

That should be enough, but Ill have to go out tommorrow night for some more.

He walks back into the living room, sits down on the couch. As he does;

Smash cut to: A book laying on the coffee table. The cover reads:

BOOK OF BLACK MAGIC SPELLS

Smash cut back to: Rudy pushing the PLAY button on the remote. As we hear the movie begin to play, we hear a knock at the door.

Rudy:

WHO IS IT?!

{off camera voice}

Its the campus police, Mr. Wallace. May we have a word with you?

Rudy:

Just a second!

He walks quickly over to the basement door, makes sure its locked, then whispers through the door.

Rudy:

Remember now, keep QUIET.

He walks back over to the front door, opens it. Two cops are standing there, one tall one with dark hair, the other shorter with red hair. The tall one speaks first.

tall cop:

Im sorry to bother you this late, Mr. Wallace, but we've had complaints again about some rather...uh..''nasty'' odors coming from this building.

Rudy:

{smiling, sniffing air}

Odors? I dont smell anything. Do you?

short cop:

No, actually, I dont. Do you, Jim?

tall cop:

{shaking head}

Nope.

Rudy:

Oh...I bet I know what people are smelling. Its my garbage, I bet. See, my laondlord didnt supply any dumpster out back, so when I put my trash out, sometimes stray dogs get into it.

tall cop:

Oh..I see. Well, do us a favor, will you?

Rudy:

Sure, name it.

tall cop:

Spray some air freshner down there, burn some inscense, okay?

Rudy:

Sure thing. Ill do it as soon as you leave.

short cop:

Thanks, and you have a good night.

Rudy:

You too. Bye bye.

Rudy closes door.

Rudy:

{glaring at door}

Piss off, Cagney and Lacey.

He walks back to the couch again, sits down, pushes the PLAY button on the remote. A few seconds later, the phone rings again, and he picks it up angrily.

Rudy:

Yeah?! Who is it?!

{off camera, amplified voice}

Rudy? Its Missy. Whats eating you?

Rudy:

{rolling his eyes}

Oh...nothing. Im just trying to watch a movie, thats all.

Missy:

Yes, Ive heard. Bart tells me you turned down a date with Anna again.

Rudy:

Yeah, I did. It sisnt anything against Anna, its just that I already rented the movies, and-

Missy:

AND, they're Joan Crawford flicks, right?

Rudy:

Yeah.

Missy:

Rudy, dont take this the wrong way, but, this...''fascination,'' you have isnt healthy, Rudy. She's dead, for Gods sakes.

Rudy:

Shes not dead to me.

Missy:

Whatever, Rudy. But Anna is beginning to think that you dont even like her, and shes had a massive crush on you ever since gradeschool, remember?

Rudy:

I know, I know. I like her too, she reminds me of somebody.

Missy:

Dont even say it-

Rudy:

I wont.

Missy:

Then go out with her tonight.

Rudy:

I would, honest, but like I said, I-

Missy:

Like you said, hell! Im coming over there in a little while, AND, Im bringing Anna with me!

Rudy:

No, Missy, wait! We can do it another night!

The phone goes dead.

Rudy:

Damn! Damn!

He hangs up the phone hard, tosses the remote on the coffee table. He gets up, walks into the kitchenette and opens the icebox. Pulls out the jug of blood. Then walks over to the basement door, unlocks it, opens it up.

Rudy:

Well, it looks like I better pacify you a little early tonight, folks.

As he descends the stairs:

Scene dissolves to: The basement doorway.

We see Rudy coming out of the basement, an empty jug in one hand. He closes the door behind him, locks it back up.

Rudy:

There....now, keep quiet for awhile, got it?

He tosses the empty jug into the sink, walks back into the living room, sits down. He picks up the remote again, pushes the PLAY button. ''Whatever happened to Baby Jane'' starts playing again, and Rudy smiles. We hear a knock at the door again.

Rudy:

Shit!! What now?!

He gets up and walks to the door, opens it.

Camera cuts to: Front doorway. Missy and Anna are standing on his front stoop. Anna is dressed just like Joan Crawford in Whatver happened to Baby Jane?, down to the last detail.

Anna:

Hi, Rudy. Long time, no see.

Rudy:

Damn....do you know how much you look like-

Anna:

{smiling over at Missy}

Yeah, I know. Im not trying to play you for a sucker, Rudy. But, I figured this was the only way to get you to come out tonight.

Missy:

Yeah, you couch potato. So, lets go...Bart is out here waiting in the car.

Rudy:

Anna, Ill admit your look really turns me on, but, like I told Missy awhile ago, Ive rented these movies, and-

Anna:

AND, you'd rather sit here wathcing ''HER'' rather than go out with me? Right?!

Rudy:

Its not that at all, really, its just that-

Anna and Missy:

{in unison}

Its just that what?!!

Rudy stands there for a few seconds, in silence, then cracks an evil grin.

Rudy:

Okay, Ill go with you. But first, I want to show you something.

Anna:

What do you want to show me..us?

Rudy:

Oh...just a little secret I keep in my basement. Its got something to do with my''unhealthy fascination'' with Miss Crawford.

Anna:

Movie Posters? Memorabilia?

Rudy:

Something like that, except its more....vivid.

Anna:

{looking apprehensive}

Well...okay. But lets make it fast, my tummy is growling like a tiger. I need a large cheese and sausage pizza.

Rudy:

Okay, no problemo, babe.

He lets them in, closes the door, locks it behind them. He motions to them to follow him over to the basement door, which they do, reluctantly. When he reaches the door, he keys it, opens it, then speaks.

Rudy:

Now, keep in mind, ladies, what you're getting ready to see isnt for the weak at heart, or the squeamish-

Missy:

You sound like Vincent Price. Just get on with it, you're giving me the creeps.

Anna:

Yeah, Rudy, you creepazoid! Lets just do it!

Rudy:

Okay, okay. But believe me, once you've seen my basement, a pizza will be the farthest thing from your mind.

Anna:

Okay, but lets do it! Before I forget about that monster crush Ive had on you all of these years! Comprende?

Rudy:

Fair enough.

We see the three of them begin to descend the stairs, then;

Scene dissolves to: The bottom of the basement stairs. Rudy is standing there feeling around, then flicks on a light switch close by.

Rudy:

{grinning an evil grin}

Step right up, ladies and..well, ladies, and see the greatest show on earth, starring the one and only...Joan Crawford!

He flicks another switch now, and we see another light come on, this one brighter and illuminating the whole basement. Missy and Anna suddenly stare at something with a look of stark terror on their faces, as Rudy stands by and laughs.

Camera cuts to: A wide view of the far basement wall. Sitting in lawn chairs against the far wall are five corpses, each one with a crude nameplate hanging above their heads with their names scrawled on them in black marker. They are all in various stages of decomposition, and each have an IV needle attached to a big jug of blood inserted into their arms. One of the corpses, a female, smiles weakly through a rictus of bloody, decaying lips, exposing rotting teeth and grayish gums. Above her head the nameplate reads:

MISS JOAN CRAWFORD

1943 - ?

Camera makes smash cuts back and forth to: The other name plates. We see; Betty Davis, John Wayne. The corpse of John Wayne wears a cowboy hat and a pair of six shooters. It speaks, it's voice sounding low, gravelly, like it had swallowed a mouthful of broken glass.

Corpse:

HEY...PILGRIM...DROP THOSE GUNS.......

Smash cut back to: Missy and Anna. They are standing speechless, eyes wide in horror.

Camera cuts to: Rudy. He's grinning that evil grin again, and he speaks now, and laughs as he does.

Rudy:

You know what? You're right, ladies. Miss Crawford is getting a little ''old.'' What we need for my collection is some''new blood,'' and I think Ill make you ladies stars!!

We see Rudy grabbing a large meat cleaver from a table close by, and shooting the girls an evil look as he slowly walks towards them.

Rudy:

Lights, camera, ACTION!!

We hear the girls blood curdling screams as the scene slowly fades to black.

Scene fades out.

Music and final credits roll. {the background music is ''Joan Crawford Has Risen From The Grave,'' by Blue Oyster Cult, from their album, ''Point Of Origin.''}

End.

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