How to be a Smart Mentee



3517265391160Are you thinking about how a mentor might help you determine a career path, or land an internship or a job? …Or how a mentor might help you to navigate the many decisions you have to make in selecting courses and activities? If you are already a mentee in a program at Paul College, you may wonder how to make the most of working with the mentor with whom you’ve been matched. This guide provides answers to these questions and more tips and resources on…3700030000Are you thinking about how a mentor might help you determine a career path, or land an internship or a job? …Or how a mentor might help you to navigate the many decisions you have to make in selecting courses and activities? If you are already a mentee in a program at Paul College, you may wonder how to make the most of working with the mentor with whom you’ve been matched. This guide provides answers to these questions and more tips and resources on…centercenter950009500035337756438901Katherine Maloney, Paul College Career Services00Katherine Maloney, Paul College Career Services455003536315350003520440How to be a Smart MenteeMentee Guidelines for Paul College Mentoring Programs 2018-19360000How to be a Smart MenteeMentee Guidelines for Paul College Mentoring Programs 2018-1936188656915150370000What is mentoring?Mentoring has been going on for centuries and is known as the oldest form of learning, person to person. While other forms of learning include transferring knowledge via a classroom or online, or participating in experiences (e.g., internships, job shadows), mentoring is grounded in a relationship based on trust; learning comprises not just facts but stories.While focused on the mentee/protégé’s development, mentoring meets that need in humans to pass on their experiences and knowledge for another’s benefit. Skilled mentors also know how to ask the value-added questions, to get the mentee to think for her or himself. It is a relationship meant to build self-esteem, instill confidence, and look to the future.As practiced in the Paul College Mentoring Initiative, mentoring is…A primary developmental relationship between a student Mentee and a Paul College/WSBE alumna or community leader Mentor that builds student confidence in their own success, and engages alumna (e)/community leaders in a meaningful way.Each of several formal Mentoring Programs is managed by Paul College staff and/or faculty and vary in their objectives and benefits, including the following:PROGRAM TYPE AND CURRENT PROGRAMSPRIMARY CONTACT (add emails)Honors-based programs:Dean’s Ambassador/Advisory Board ProgramPaul Scholars ProgramChuck Withee, Chair, Dean’s Advisory Board Mentoring CommitteeTamara Rury, Undergraduate AdvisingCareer Option/Industry-Specific programs:Hospitality Management ProgramFinancial Partners ProgramEntrepreneurship Programs (Rines and Meaning of Entrepreneurship)Nelson Barber (Donna Stickney)Megan Turnbull, Career ServicesLaura Hill, Center for Venture ResearchStudent Club/Special Interest programs:Women in Business ProgramRutman - Och Women’s Leadership ProgramSales Mentorship Program (in development)Katherine Maloney, Career ServicesMelissa Beecher, Undergraduate AdvisingJames McIlroy, Marketing Dept.Freshmen Entry program:FIRESean Stewart, Undergraduate AdvisingStudents may participate in more than one formal program at one time; e.g., a student could be nominated to participate in the industry-specific Hospitality Management Program and elect to participate in the Women in Business Program, thereby gaining different perspectives from two mentors. A few caveats for having multiple mentors include the following:Be clear on the distinct types of learning both programs may offerDo not over-commit to too many goals along with academic demands and other campus involvementIn addition to managing your time effectively, be considerate about your individual mentors’ schedules and their hopes for the mentoring partnershipMentee-drivenWe encourage mentoring relationships to be Mentee-driven. This means that your needs and goals largely define the mentoring relationship and meetings. The Mentor ideally is there to help you develop what you are motivated to learn. What does mentee-driven look like? The mentee…Actively reflects on what s/he needs and wants to learn Comes to meetings prepared (for tips, see below)Takes responsibility for rescheduling meetings if they changePrepares and asks good questionsListens to feedback offeredFollows up on recommended actionsFurther tips for fostering a mentee-driven relationship are discussed below.MutualityMentoring is a mutual relationship; both the Mentee and Mentor can learn and benefit. The older, traditional model of mentoring centered on the growth of the mentee who was partnered with someone more senior -- often in the same organization -- who would help the mentee advance via promotions. While that still happens, the new mentoring model acknowledges that Mentors can learn as much from Mentees – the commonly cited skill is tech savvy -- and can develop contacts for their own development.Other bases for mutual learning could be different styles or strengths that are observed and discussed.What are the Benefits of Mentoring?Mentoring has been shown to be an effective development/learning tool, both for those being mentored (Mentees) and for those offering development (Mentors). Often the benefits are unexpected; e.g., a Mentee is matched with an Alumni Mentor in her/his career field and expects to learn more about the field. As a bonus the Mentee learns from the Mentor’s experience shared about re-locating to a new city.To outline the benefits for Mentees, they include the following:Career guidance to help validate or challenge a career interestFeedback on the resume, LinkedIn profile, and job search approachesIntroductions to network connectionsA positive role model for leadership Positive or constructive feedback on communication style and behaviorsA “mirror” so that blind spots are identifiedA professional friend/allyThrough the practice of mentoring, you have the opportunity to develop interpersonal skills and positive practices, including…ListeningFormulating questionsSetting goalsDeveloping more self-awarenessBecause any good relationship involves give and take, you as the Mentee may offer insights to the Mentor, including the following:New and alternative ideas on a profession from your studiesA connection to their alma mater, UNHAn opportunity for the Mentor to receive satisfaction by giving back through mentoringWhat are Current Models of Mentoring?As mentioned, the more traditional Mentoring paradigm used to be a one-on-one, lifelong partnership. That doesn’t often work today, with so many changes in industry and so many jobs requiring different skills. What seems to be more valued now in organizations is flexibility and adaptability, so the capacity to learn new skills is a competency.Mentoring fosters that adaptive learning competency through sharing experiences and looking to the future, not focusing on the past. Due to complexity of what we need to know, engaging with one mentor over a period of years may be limiting. The paradigm today is…51339751033145005095875952500Developmental Network: Multiple people to whom I look to support my development -- i.e., career, academic, personal – and success. Ideally, they play different roles and offer me different perspectives on my strengths and areas for growth based on what I need/want to learn.302895-2286000126809556578512490453238542545044577000183515076200018554704718050015506704908551626870157480769620452755607695205105998220100330001074420178435ME00MEPicture a “steering committee” that you would have to aid in making a decision or to learn a new skill of way to accomplish a task. People that you invite to your developmental network might include a Sounding boardUNH alumnaPeer in a student organization or fraternityFaculty memberFamily memberCampus leaderAnd people who offer diverse types of feedback such as the…Cheerleader Voice of reasonDeep listenerUnconditional supporterRemember that a Developmental Network – like mentoring -- is also mutual. When there is a chance to share feedback or gratitude or insight or a networking connection, it can make a difference for the networking partner.Reverse mentoringReverse mentoring is a term sometimes used to describe when a junior person – such as a student – formally or informally provides development help to a more experienced person. It happens organically: students and early alums have skills learned in class or through internships may have current knowledge – especially technical – that can help more senior professionals. Some companies set up formal reverse mentoring programs. With our framework in Paul of Developmental Networks, Mentors who are also Alumni and Community Members would ideally also specify a “steering committee”/network and you as the Mentee may well be a spoke on their wheel!How Do I Approach my Mentor Professionally?The short answer to this question is… with courtesy, respect, and responsiveness.Be courteous…Be grateful for help provided. Express your thanks regularly for insights given and simply for time taken to engage with you. Write a thank you note via email when your Mentor takes you to lunch or when you have the opportunity to visit her/him at work, or when s/he connects you to another professional.Do not ask for a job or internship outright. Your Mentor may refer you to an opportunity once they get to know you and your career objectives. The primary purpose of mentoring is your development and equipping you to progress. It would be inconsiderate to ask for a job and put the Mentor on the spot. Be respectful…Know that your Mentor is a busy person. The Alumni who have chosen to engage with students are typically successful and occupy demanding work roles along with family involvement. It’s important to manage expectations around setting up meetings; work with them as well as sharing your busy schedule.An overall approach is to balance confidence with humility. It may be new for you to be interacting with a person who is a senior leader in their organization or field. It may be natural for you to be less assertive around such a person. Or, you may be accustomed to senior people due to your family business ownership. The best advice is to get to know your Mentor so you will not be afraid to speak up nor will you behave in an arrogant or boastful way. It’s a balance. Keep commitments such as meetings. You are participating in an important relationship and yet you have academic and extracurricular demands on your time. Do your best to keep to scheduled meetings and to give your Mentor advanced warning when you need to change a schedule.Be responsive…Listen to insights and act on them. Listening to your Mentor is the best gift that you can offer them, and yet it can be challenging. Sometimes you may not understand their suggestion; if so, get clarity. Or, because you are meeting by phone, you may not have visual cues that convey meaning. Again, ask for clarity. If you do not agree with a suggestion, you can think more about it, or share your viewpoint in a diplomatic way. When contacted, respond promptly. The Dean’s Advisory Mentoring Committee practices the 24-hour Rule for both Mentors and Mentees. When your Mentor reaches out to you, make every effort to respond within a day, even if you need more information or more time to decide on a schedule request or an idea. A simple email can suffice; e.g., “Thank for your email; I have an exam and paper due tomorrow so I will get back to you on Friday…”How Do I Prepare for Meetings?Because time is valuable, it’s not OK to just “wing it” and conduct your Mentor meetings without some thought, and it won’t get you what you need in terms of development. Planning for meetings can be as simple as reflecting for a couple of minutes about what questions you have, what issues you are confronting, and even what went well for you in classes, exams, club meetings, or in your job search. Know that you can ask for a number of things from your Mentor:Support – ask for help with a situationExperience – ask for specific experiences in their career that can helpFeedback – ask for feedback on an event or interactionIdeas and suggestions – definitely ask for alternative options/ways of approaching situationsKeep a recordSome students capture their thoughts on mentoring in a spiral notebook. They keep it with them through classes and meetings, and jot down questions or thoughts that they might discuss with their Mentor. You can use tools on your Mobile such as Voice Memo and other apps as a memory tool to capture ideas.Take notes during or immediately after meeting with your Mentor to ensure that you have a record of what you discussed. Review both your daily “notebook” and your Mentor meeting notes prior to your meetings to help you plan the agenda for your next meeting.Note that as discussed, mentoring at Paul is Mentee-driven; you are responsible for coming to the meeting with one or more topics that you’d like to discuss. While your Mentor may also have topics or ideas to share that s/he has collected since your last meeting, assume that you will drive the content.Options for meeting and learningWhile ideally mentoring meetings take place in person in a private or semi-private location, many Mentors work and live many miles from UNH. Some Mentors visit campus on a regular basis for meetings and leaders in the local community have more in-person access. With technology, it’s easier to conduct meetings in multiple platforms including Skype, Live Meeting, or Zoom.The Dean’s Advisory Board Mentoring Subcommittee recommends that first meetings take place in person if possible, and that periodically you and your Mentor find a way to meet together.You as the Mentee can participate in mentoring using a variety of modalities. A discussion with your Mentor early in the relationship may uncover a variety of learning resources and tools, including the following:Talking in person or on the phone; exchanging stories and experiencesSharing relevant articles or books, and discussingJob shadowing at your Mentor’s workplace – if this is availableMeeting with Mentor connections – based on your goalsTesting out ideas and discussing learnings from those “tests”Again, follow through on ideas and suggestions offered by your Mentor. You can use any part of your UNH experience – or outside of school-- to practice skills, including…Speaking up more (or less) in classBuilding a connection with a professorParticipating differently on a project teamRunning for a leadership position in a student organization or Greek lifeLeading and/or participating in community workHow Do I Set Goals and Expectations?The success of mentoring, especially in programs where you are matched with a Mentor, relies on a discussion of Goals, primarily your goals. While you can learn in general from observing and speaking with a Mentor, it is hard to assess progress and over time it can be de-motivating.The short answer on how to set goals is to do two things: 1) reflect, and 2) discuss. It may not be a difficult task: with eight-plus mentoring programs in Paul, each has an overall objective. For instance, the Financial Partners Mentoring Program is designed to build career preparedness for finance roles and industries. If you are a Mentee in that program, you would expect to learn ways to do this in partnership with your Mentor.S.M.A.R.T. goalsWithin the program objectives are your own personal objectives. So in the Financial Partners example, you may want to learn more about jobs in managing investments or in providing financial planning services. Or you may want to learn about the Finance function in a corporation.In any event, goals can be short- or long-term. A working model for effective goal-setting is to set S.M.A.R.T. goals as in…SSpecificMMeasurableAAchievableRResults-focusedTTime-boundAn example of a S.M.A.R.T. goal is the following:I want to learn from my Mentor about the field of financial planning including what licensing/certifications are needed and what a typical day is like by focusing on a discussion with my Mentor by 5/18.Other goal-setting considerationsWhile setting rigorous goals can be effective, the payoff may not be immediate. A Mentor can give you a lecture on her/his experience in the Finance or Hospitality or Entrepreneurial field, and that may be efficient, yet it may not be an engaging – or lasting -- way to learn. Research on adult learning shows that learning sticks when it is repetitive and experiential (when you are doing something). Mentoring ideas and practicing new behaviors can take time to seed and grow.Establishing the relationshipSimon Sinek, the leadership guru, likens mentoring partnerships to friendships (What does it Mean to be a Mentor?). While our Mentoring Programs in Paul have a professional flavor in objectives and in conduct, it is still about building a relationship, and that means taking time to get to know one another. The Appendix in this document shares some questions that you can ask your Mentor can use to get started. We encourage you to come up with your own questions that reflect your curiosity and interests while keeping it professional.As you meet and relate with one another, you will recognize similarities and differences in your approach, your family backgrounds, and experiences. It’s healthy to acknowledge these, and know that the differences can be powerful learning tools. Perhaps you are more introverted and quiet naturally, and your Mentor is outgoing and easy to share knowledge and experiences. You might use that difference to explore how you can express yourself differently in certain situations, and yet appreciate when it works to stick to your quiet approach.There may be issues that you discuss about work or about life in general where you will not see eye-to-eye. This happens everywhere in life. It happens in mentoring as well. Sometimes a policy of “agreeing to disagree” on an issue is a positive resolution. On the other hand, if the area of disagreement is a strong value for you – such as honesty/integrity – and this value feels that it is being challenged, it may be a reason to review the mentoring relationship. See below for tips on ending a relationship.No matter what differences you may share and what you decide about keeping the relationship going, being respectful in how you manage a relationship challenge is a lesson that you can use to grow.What are the Phases of Mentoring?Mentoring relationships go through different phases. Depending on the Mentor program in which you participate at Paul, you may have a shorter or a longer-term time boundary on the “official” relationship. Whether your relationship duration is defined as one semester or one academic year and beyond with or without an option to “re-up,” there are four predictable phases for mentoring and they are not necessarily sequential:2409825120650Start-up00Start-up194310027305024765003492400379095063500971550139700Transition00Transition3981450139700Take action00Take action10382258890004048125635000181927526352537623752730502362200149860Assess00Assess2466975952500Start up – This is the getting to know each other phase. It is also the time when you discuss how and how often you will meet and by what methods. This phase transitions into Take Action when you and your Mentor have set goals for the relationship and your meetings are on the calendar.Take action – This is the “meat and potatoes” part of mentoring, where you and your Mentor meet, share experiences and learnings, and test insights. The actions include the conversations but they go beyond them to your follow through in your class work, internships, and campus life. What may happen is that through taking action, the goals change, and so you may go back to the Start-up phase to add/adapt goals. Assess – Assessing may happen throughout the mentoring relationship, and is split between formal official Program Survey/Assessment, and discussion with your Mentor on how it’s going. Formal assessment varies from program to program. One program may make periodic check-ins with Mentors and Mentees individually and collectively. Another Program may ask partners to write their learnings and it becomes part of a grade. We encourage you and your Mentor to set aside some time by the mid-term of your program participation to check in and reflect on how it’s going. It can be as simple as recording what’s going well, what could we do differently, and what have I/we learned. Transition -- This word means literally a change that either is prompted by the program charter: e.g., current relationships end after one academic year, or Mentors and Mentees have an event that marks the end of the current relationships. It can happen that one partner in the mentoring relationship needs or wants to have end the mentoring commitment. Or, both partners recognize that learning is complete. It happens that sometimes Mentors and Mentees are not well-matched as the partners experience it. This is the time for a respectful conversation. You may want to ask a trusted advisor to help you craft this conversation. In the best of situations, the mentoring relationship continues on, like a friendship. Much learning has occurred on both sides and mentoring partners enjoy their interaction. This may result in the Mentee wanting to pay it forward and offer to be a Mentor to a peer or an underclass person or someone outside of UNH. This is how we build a culture of mentoring and learning.Where do I Get Support for Managing My Mentoring Relationship(s)?There is support if you run into a challenge and don’t know how to manage it. The first effort should be to work out issue with you Mentor. For instance, if you are reaching out to your Mentor repeatedly and do not hear back, try another way as s/he may have heavy work demands.The next step to escalate a problem and work it out is to email or speak with the Program Manager of your specific mentoring program. The program managers are listed on Page 1 of this document.It’s best to work something out with the program manager rather than talk with peers or others about the problem. We value our alumni engagement in mentoring and other ways that they interact with UNH, and want to keep confidentiality. So a last resort would be to see a Career Services counselor; we are bound to keep confidentiality when we meet with students.If you want to discuss mentoring at Paul in general, you may contact Katherine Maloney in Career Services and Project Leader of the Paul Mentoring Initiative: katherine.maloney@unh.edu.AppendicesMentoring Agreement*Purpose:To ensure that Mentors and Mentees plan for what and how they will focus in their partnership.Mentee Goals:Professional goal (s) for coming year:Personal development goal(s) for coming year:Long-term career/life goal(s):Mentor Goals:Communication Plan:Based on your initial meeting, it may be helpful to note here your plans for frequency of meetings, format (i.e., face-to-face, phone, email, other), best days and times, who initiates contact, etc.Tracking Goals and Process:Make notes here on how often you will assess goal accomplishment and re-setting goals. Also, how and how often will you provide feedback and check on relationship and needs.Confidentiality:All communication between Mentor and Mentee remain confidential unless otherwise agreed upon. Each person in the partnership agrees to commit and put forth effort in the relationship.Mentee/Student Signature: ___________________________________________________Mentor Signature: ___________________________________________________________*(adaptable for each Mentor Program)Mentoring Etiquette – Do’s and Don’tsDo’s√If a call, observe good phone etiquette; check: “Is this still a good time for our call?”√If in person, meet in public places: Mentor’s workplace or campus break out room is OK√Be on time (phone or in person)√Arrive to meetings ready to EngageBe assertive (“here’s what I’d like to discuss…”) and Ask QuestionsHave questions prepared√If in person, dress for the occasion√Follow up after meetings √ALWAYS send a thank you note after being treated to lunch or other mealDon’tsXAsk Mentor to give you an internship or jobXAsk for references - - unless offered or if you have known the Mentor for at least a few years and s/he has observed you in work-related situationsXAsk overly personal questions unless the Mentor introduces a topicXAsk about Mentor‘s salaryXForget to check appearance before an in-person meetingXBehave unprofessionally during a meetingQuestions You Can Ask Your MentorHow do you spend most of your time?What is a fact about you or an experience you have had that says a lot about you?How did you choose the work you do? What do you most enjoy? What are the challenges?Where did you grow up and what did you like about growing up there?Who was an early mentor/teacher of yours?What impact did s/he have? How was s/he effective in mentoring/teaching?What do you hope to learn in this mentoring program? How can I help you?What are you most proud of?What career guidance would you tell yourself if you were starting out all over again?What do you enjoy doing outside of work?What do you believe are the skills, qualities, and habits that lead to success?Troubleshooting Guide: What to Do When…Your Mentor does not return your email or phone call within the agreed-to timeframeGive your Mentor the benefit of the doubt, as something urgent may have come up. Wait a day and send an email to acknowledge the missed meeting with no blame; reschedule.I miss a meeting, or did not send a thank you note, or said something I may regret.When you realize you messed up, get in touch with your Mentor and apologize, then move on from there. Mistakes are part of learning.You already have a job or an internship so your goal has been achievedThat’s good news! You can talk to your Mentor about many things, and can ask questions about how they suggest being successful as you start.You do not agree with your Mentor on some coaching s/he has providedFirst, clarify that you understand. Try: “That is unexpected. Would you explain what is behind your suggestion?” Then, share your perspective and see if you can expand your options.You feel overwhelmed with school work and other activities, and feel you want to end the MentorshipDon’t just “drop” the relationship; set up a time to talk about it. Explore how you might adjust your relationship to help the feeling of being overwhelmed. Ask “When you’re feeling maxed out, what do you do?”Your Mentor provides constructive feedback that is upsetting to youSimilar to #3, above, but you are upset. Pause before reacting; reflect. Do you think s/he is accurate? If so, ask for help/ideas. If not, ask for clarity, then share how you see it. These moments are great learning opportunities!You identify another Mentor or are nominated for another Mentor ProgramIf it is an informal Mentor that evolved, set some time boundaries. It’s OK to have more than one Mentor! If you are nominated for another formal Program, assess honestly before making the commitment. Get advice from your Mentor/others.You do not feel that your Mentor is a fitIt happens. Sometimes Mentor and Mentee pairs are good on paper and don’t have the chemistry. Bow out gracefully, be grateful, but go forward to pursue a better fit.CONTACT YOUR MENTOR PROGRAM MANAGER IF YOU NEED ADDITIONAL SUPPORT AND IDEAS! ................
................

In order to avoid copyright disputes, this page is only a partial summary.

Google Online Preview   Download