FIVE OF ONE - SimplyScripts
“HOLIDAY”
THE ONE WHERE THEY PARTY
BY
Matt Allen
FAde In:
INT. CLASSROOM-DAY
We fade into a classroom where students are either anxiously scrambling to finish on time. We see the subtitle: “May 30: Last Day of School. T-Minus: 7 Minutes.” We focus on Albert who is obviously finished and cockily looking over his answers. We fade to Jessica who is just about finished. We then focus to Kel who is just waking up. He sleepily starts his test. We see the TEACHER, a middle aged woman, who bears a slight resemblance to a gummy bear.
TEACHER
5 minutes left.
We focus on Kel, who laughs loudly thinking she is kidding. He looks at the teacher and she returns the look with a very stern look. Kel becomes serious and looks back to his test, and begins to cry.
KEL
Dammit! Not again!
Frustrated, Kel tears up his test and leaves.
TEACHER
Mr. Demster! Where do you think you’re going?
Kel sarcastically “thinks” about the question.
KEL
Well, Ms. Steinman. I think, I’m going home to enjoy my summer.
Ms. Steinman doesn’t look amused.
MS. STEINMAN
You seem to look like you want summer detention.
Kel smirks.
KEL
And you seem to look like a gummy-bear.
He leaves. Ms. Steinman shaking her head disapprovingly at the laughing class.
MS. STEINMAN
Alright class, time’s up. Pass up your exams.
The class starts gradually passing up their papers.
THE BELL RINGS RESULTING IN A STAMPEDE FROM WITHIN THE CLASSROOM RINGING WITH SHOUTS OF SUMMER BREAK. ALBERT IS THE LAST ONE OUT OF THE CLASS AND RUNS TO CATCH UP WITH JESSICA AND KEL WHO ARE FURTHER AHEAD.
JESSICA
Yea, true. But everybody’s going so you better be there.
They laugh.
ALBERT APPEARS, OUT OF BREATH, AND USES HIS INHALER AS JESSICA AND KEL TURN TO HIM.
JESSICA
Oh, hey Albert. You’re coming to Jenna’s party tonight, right?
Albert looks up.
ALBERT
Well…
Jessica interrupts.
KEL
Well what? C’mon Albert.
He sighs.
ALBERT
I’m just not a party type of guy.
Jessica looks sad.
JESSICA
Please go Albert, for me?
He sighs again.
ALBERT
Alright. I’ll be there.
She smiles.
KEL
You know if Jason is going?
Jessica looks at Kel with a stupid look.
JESSICA
Well, I just said that everybody is going, didn’t I?
Kel looks at Jessica with a blank stare.
KEL
So, is he going or what?
Albert smirks.
ALBERT
Yea, I think he is, Kel.
Jessica and Albert laugh.
ALBERT
So, when does the party start?
Jessica looks at him.
JESSICA
Be there at 9:30-10
albert
Yea. I’ll be there…or be square!
Kel looks at him.
KEL
So, are you trying to die a virgin, or what?
Albert looks at him upset.
ALBERT
No! Just wait til the party!
cut to:
EXT. PARTY DRIVEWAY-NIGHT
Albert, in slow-motion, is walking toward a mansion with people scattered throughout the front yard. We here the song “Get Low” by Lil’ Jon. Albert cockily points to people he doesn’t know and winks. The surrounding people are laughing. Kel walks up to him.
KEL
Why are you walking in slow motion?
Albert snaps out of it.
ALBERT
Cause I’m cool?
Kel shakes his head.
ALBERT
Yea, I know. I’m not.
Kel leads Albert into the party. They enter the house which is extremely exquisite, decorated with gorgeous marble, a fountain in the middle of the house, an indoor pool, the works. We see a DJ who is really into the loud music playing.
KEL
So, you ever been to a party like this before?
Albert looks at Kel.
ALBERT
What do you think?
They laugh. They walk up to Jessica who is stuggling to talk on the phone because of the noise.
JESSICA
No! What the hell Michael?
Pause.
JESSICA
It’s literally down the street!
Pause.
JESSICA
Fine. I don’t care.
Pause.
JESSICA
Yeah, whatever Michael.
She hangs up.
KEL
So, who was that?
They both look at him.
JESSICA
It was Michael. You idiot.
Kel looks at her.
KEL
Must you bring yourself up…by tearing me down?
Jessica smirks.
JESSICA
You know, I think there’s a stripper in the billiard room down the hall.
Kel smiles and runs in a random direction. He yells as he runs.
KEL
I’ll see your guys later!
We stay with Albert and Jessica as Albert struggles to get close enough to Jessica so she can hear him.
ALBERT
Sick party, huh?
Jessica smiles.
JESSICA
Yep. Yep.
Awkward moment. The song switches to “Shake What Ya Mama Gave Ya” by Uncle Luke.
JESSICA
Ooh, I love this song!
Albert looks around nervously, obviously not knowing what song it is.
ALBERT
Oh…yea! Me too! YEA!
She laughs.
JESSICA
You know…Michael blew me off tonight.
Albert looks up at her.
ALBERT
Oh, that’s too bad.
She nods.
JESSICA
Yea…
Albert knows he should ask Jessica to dance, but can’t. Jessica is whispering the lyrics.
JESSICA
“Now shake what ya mama gave ya!”
Albert laughs.
JESSICA
Do you want to dance?
Albert looks up, almost shocked.
ALBERT
Yea…I mean…if you do.
She looks at him.
ALBERT
You did mean with you, right?
Jessica laughs.
JESSICA
Yes, Albert.
He smirks.
ALBERT
Oh, cool.
They laugh and she leads him to the dance floor.
DISSOLVE TO:
INT. BILLIARD ROOM-NIGHT
Kel is walks into the room where we see a stripper sitting on a pool table and smoking a cigarette.
KEL
Well, hi.
The stripper looks up.
STRIPPER
Hey.
Her voice is very manly. We know she’s a transsexual, but Kel doesn’t.
KEL
Wow. Chewbacca voice, huh?
She looks offended.
STRIPPER
What’s that supposed to mean?
Kel looks at her.
KEL
Oh, nothing. I mean you have a deep voice.
Kel makes a Chewbacca imitation and nervously laughs.
STRIPPER
Yea, well I was born this way. So, nothing I can do about it.
Kel looks apologetic.
KEL
Well, were you born that pretty?
She looks at him.
STRIPPER
You think I’m pretty?
Kel nods.
KEL
Well, yea!
She looks awkward.
STRIPPER
Well, you don’t care about…you know.
She looks to her crotch.
KEL
What do you think I am? An animal? I think you’re a cool girl. What’s you’re name?
She looks at him.
STRIPPER
Candy…Well Candace. Candy for short.
He smiles.
KEL
That’s a pretty name.
She smiles.
DISSOLVE TO:
INT. DANCE FLOOR-NIGHT
We see Albert and Jessica dancing. Albert is very awkward, not moving very much. Jason and Emily walk up to them.
JASON
Hey, guys.
They look at him.
JESSICA
Oh, hey Jason. Hey Emily.
They nod.
ALBERT
Hey, guys.
Jason smirks.
JASON
Yea so…great party, huh babe?
She is distracted and looking onto the main dance floor.
EMILY
Huh?
Jason looks at her.
JASON
I was saying that this is a great part-
He is interrupted by a random guy who walks up to them.
GUY
Hi.
Emily looks at him.
EMILY
Hi? Can I help you?
He smirks.
GUY
Actually, yes. I was wondering if you wanted to dance?
He looks at Jason.
GUY
I mean if it’s okay with you?
Jason begins to speak.
JASON
Well, buddy—
Emily interrupts him.
EMILY
Oh! Do you mind Jason?
He looks baffled.
JASON
Uh…no. Of course not.
Emily runs off with the guy, leaving Jason standing awkwardly alone.
JASON
I’m…uh…going to find a drink or something.
Jessica notices a new awkwardness between her and Albert. She tries to break it by asking him to dance…really dance.
JESSICA
C’mon Albert! Show me what you got!
The music stops, and a new song begins. “Shake Ya Tailfeather” by Nelly.
ALBERT
Haha…alrighty!
He begins dancing a ridiculous dance. Jessica is laughing hysterically, as he pulls her in to join him.
ALBERT
C’mon! Don’t be shy!
They dance. This sequence should take about 2-3 minutes.
CUT TO:
INT. BILLIARD ROOM-NIGHT
Kel and the stripper are kissing passionately. Kel stops.
KEL
So, uh…you want to move to the bedroom?
She smiles.
STRIPPER
Alright.
They walk to the bedroom holding hands.
INT. OUTSIDE BEDROOM-NIGHT
We are outside the door that Kel and the stripper walked into. We hear them falling on a bed and clothes coming off. Suddenly, we hear Kel scream.
INT. BEDROOM-NIGHT
We see Kel, standing up getting dressed.
KEL
You’re a he-she. He’s a she. She’s a he!!!
Inaudible mutters.
STRIPPER
I thought you knew!
Kel looks serious for a moment, then returns to screaming.
KEL
How would I know? Does it look like a have Penis Radar? What the hell?
She sighs.
STRIPPER
You said it didn’t matter.
He looks baffled.
KEL
A penis?! I’m sorry, but a penis matters!
Kel runs out of the room, screaming.
HE RUNS TO A BATHROOM, WHERE HE PROCEEDS TO WASH HIS MOUTH, HANDS AND ENTIRE BODY WITH SINK WATER AND SOAP.
CUT TO:
INT-DANCEFLOOR-NIGHT
Albert is still dancing ridiculously. Jessica is attempting to do the robot behind him. The song ends and they both laugh.
JESSICA
Thank you.
Albert smirks.
ALBERT
Anytime.
They laugh again. We cut to Jason who is sitting at the bar, drinking. He is looking at Emily who is now dancing in between 4 or 5 other guys. Jason mutters.
JASON
I could be dancing with loads of hot guys if I wanted.
The bartender looks at him.
JASON
I meant guys.
He still looks at Jason.
JASON
Girls. GIRLS!
The bartender smirks and goes back to work.
JASON
I could!
Jason gets up and starts walking around. We stay focused on the bar as Jason leaves.
JASON [OS]
Hey would you like to dance, or something?
girl [os]
No, thanks.
jason [os]
C’mon please! Please!
We hear a scream and a slap.
JASON RETURNS TO THE BAR WITH A RED MARK ON THE SIDE OF HIS FACE.
JASON
Maybe not.
The bartender smirks.
CUT TO:
INT. DANCEFLOOR-NIGHT
Albert is dancing wildly as Jessica is walking back with two cups. She comes up to Albert and gives him one.
JESSICA
Thanks for being with me tonight.
Albert smiles.
ALBERT
Anytime.
Jessica moves closer to Albert.
JESSICA
I really did have a great time. Thanks again.
They both look into each others eyes.
SUDDENLY, KEL COMES RUNNING THROUGH THEM SCREAMING.
KEL
SHE WAS A MAN!!!
He then trips and falls into the fountain.
FADE OUT:
THE END
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