Becky’s New Car - PVP

[Pages:109]Becky's New Car

a comedy by Steven Dietz

? Copyright 2007 by Steven John Dietz. All rights reserved. Contact: Sarah Jane Leigh Sterling Standard LLC 445 West 23rd Street, Suite 1-E New York NY 10011 212.242.1740 / 212.242.1735 [fax] sarahjane@ Commissioned by ACT Theatre, Seattle. Post-Premiere Draft: 24 October 08.

Becky's New Car - Dietz - Post-Premiere, 10/08

2.

Cast of Characters (3 women, 4 men)

BECKY (REBECCA) FOSTER ... a woman in her late 40's. JOE FOSTER ... Becky's husband, a roofer, late 40's. CHRIS FOSTER ... their son, a psychology student, 26. WALTER FLOOD ... a very wealthy businessman, widowed, 60's. KENSINGTON (KENNI) FLOOD ... Walter's daughter, 23. STEVE ... Becky's co-worker, widowed, 50. GINGER ... a neighbor of Walter's, single, 50's.

Time and Place

The present. Summer. An American city very much like Seattle.

Setting

The play will move without transition between four primary locations: Becky's LIVING ROOM, her CUBICLE at work, her CAR, and the TERRACE of Walter Flood's estate.

In point of fact, these are all ONE area, in place onstage at all times. Furthermore, in the case of the CUBICLE and CAR, these areas may actually a part of Becky's LIVING ROOM which has been re-defined by lighting.

Simplify. It is not necessary, nor is it desirable, to fully depict any of the play's locales.

We have two lives -- the one we learn with, and the life we live after that.

~ Bernard Malamud

Becky's New Car - Dietz - Post-Premiere, 10/08

3.

ACT ONE

Becky's Living Room. Evening.

Lights rise quickly on the empty room, as we hear what might be a vacuum cleaner running offstage. And then ---

We hear things falling and crashing -- being grabbed, discarded, hurriedly put away, and then ---

BECKY appears, in slacks and light sweater, somewhat disheveled, wearing one long rubber cleaning glove. With this gloved hand she is holding a toilet plunger upsidedown, with a new roll of toilet paper skewered on the handle. In her other hand is a "dust-buster" -still running. A cleaning rag is draped over her shoulder. And, yet, despite this dubious first impression ---

She is all charm, the perfect (if somewhat ill-prepared) hostess when she greets the audience:

BECKY (to audience) Hi. Hello. Wait a second ---

She turns the "dust-buster" off.

BECKY (cont'd) There we go. Sorry. Hi! So glad you stopped by. I was just picking up the house a bit ---

She gives the new roll of toilet paper to an AUDIENCE MEMBER.

BECKY (cont'd) Could you put this in the bathroom when you go? Thanks.

She moves about during the following, putting things in place, readying the house.

BECKY (cont'd) You know how it is: things ran late at work -- so I called Joe, he's great, you'll love him, you'll probably

(MORE)

Becky's New Car - Dietz - Post-Premiere, 10/08

4.

BECKY (cont'd) end up liking Joe way more than you like me -- anyway, I told Joe I was still at work and could he pick up the pizza? -- but he was stuck at his job-site longer than planned -- he's finishing up this apartment south of here, good money but a real long drive -- and because of the rain last night, god that RAIN last night, because of that he had to -- wait ---

She finds an empty trash can and hands it to an AUDIENCE MEMBER.

BECKY (cont'd) See that drip right there. Just watch ...

It drips, just a bit -- from the grid -- near the edge of the stage.

BECKY (cont'd) (to AUDIENCE MEMBER) There. See. Could you put this over there for me? Thanks so much.

She watches as the AUDIENCE MEMBER puts the trash can under the drip.

BECKY (cont'd) Wait. Let's be sure ...

She waits with the AUDIENCE MEMBER until a drip of water falls into the trash can. Smiles.

BECKY (cont'd) Got it. Thanks. Did I mention that my husband is a roofer? Yes. A very good one. Twenty-plus years, but you know what they say -- the shoemaker's kids and all that ...

She continues to busy herself in the room.

I should wake my son so you can meet him -- that would be Chris -- that would be his crap lying around here everywhere.

She quickly holds up a piece of newspaper -- offers it to an AUDIENCE MEMBER.

BECKY (cont'd) (to AUDIENCE MEMBER) Sports section? (as needed) (Here you go.) // (I don't blame you.)

Becky's New Car - Dietz - Post-Premiere, 10/08

5.

Back to straightening up ---

BECKY (cont'd) Don't get me wrong, I love my son -- fruit of my actual loins -- but god forbid he emerge from the basement where he lives as the Eternal Freeloader -- sleeping off a hangover from another night of grad student "angst" and two-dollar shots. He didn't even do the one thing I asked of him, which was to get the dishwasher loaded -so, there you have it, that's the update: my son was loaded and the dishwasher was not -- but, anyway, this is our humble home:

She shoves a final magazine under the cushion of a chair or couch, strikes a friendly pose, and says:

BECKY (cont'd) Welcome!

(beat, looks around) The fact is: we need a new house. My friend, Rita -beautiful, wonderful woman, passed away last year, her husband Steve still hasn't gotten over it -- anyway, Rita had this theory:

When a woman says she needs new shoes, what she really wants is a new job.

When she says she needs a new house, she wants a new husband.

And when she says she wants a new car, she wants a new life.

A beat. BECKY opens a drawer or cupboard and pulls out a very large (and nearly empty) carton of Diet Sprite. She fishes out the final can (or two), pops the top, starts to drink -- stops ---

BECKY (cont'd) (to an AUDIENCE MEMBER) Oh, I'm sorry. Did you want one?

If this person says YES, she digs out the final can, saying ---

BECKY (cont'd) (as needed) (Here you go.) // (Okay, if you change your mind ...)

Becky's New Car - Dietz - Post-Premiere, 10/08

6.

ALSO: if this person says YES, she turns to the person NEXT TO this AUDIENCE MEMBER, saying ---

BECKY (cont'd) (Sorry. I'm all out. Money's been tight and we let our Costco membership lapse, so ... you know.)

BECKY now ... sits, for the first time in the play. Breathes deeply. And drinks her soda.

BECKY (cont'd) I think we'll just stay here in the living room, if that's okay.

(points) The kitchen's that way, if you need something -- but promise me you won't look in the back yard. It's a disaster. Used to be a garden. We should just pave it over. Keep our cars back there. Yes, I know that's terrible -- but I need to ask you this: have you ever really been as happy in your garden as you've been on a good day in your car?

All alone. Radio on. Traffic moving, nice and easy.

Heaven.

PHONE RINGS.

Becky goes to a cluttered work table in the middle of the room. When she lifts the phone, lights immediately reveal this area to be ---

Becky's Cubicle at work. Evening.

BECKY (into phone, upbeat) Thank you for calling Bill Buckley Lexus-Saturn-NissanMitsubishi, Home of the Fifty-Thousand Mile Smile, this is Becky, how may I direct your call? (listens) Oh, I'm afraid they've gone home for the night. (listens) Well, yes, good point: if I'm still here doing paperwork why can't the salesmen still be here selling cars, but that's --(listens) Yes, right, but can I just --- would you mind terribly if I put you on hold for just a second, thanks so much ---

Becky's New Car - Dietz - Post-Premiere, 10/08

7.

Presses a button on the phone. Sets the receiver down.

BECKY (cont'd) (to audience) Sorry. You know how it is. As soon as you start to have a conversation with someone ---

PHONE RINGS AGAIN.

Excuse me.

BECKY (cont'd)

She answers.

BECKY (cont'd) (on phone, faster now) Thank you for calling Bill Buckley Lexus-Saturn-NissanMitsubishi, Home of the Fifty-Thousand Mile Smile, this is Becky, how may I --(stops, listens) You were on hold. Why did you -- no, I did not hang up on you. I put you on hold. For less than a minute -yes, it was really no more than a -- all right, sure, go ahead and yell ---

As the Caller presumably rants on the other end, BECKY sets the phone down, and speaks to the audience.

BECKY (cont'd) Anyway, this is where I work. I'm the Title Clerk and Office Manager. I process the new car sales. This place used to be Bill Buckley's main car lot -- his "Super-Dealership" -- but now he's got plans to open a "Mega-Dealership", three hours south of here, and he's been trolling our offices to see if any of us are worthy to make the jump from Super to Mega.

(re: phone) Wait. I think he stopped.

She picks up the phone.

BECKY (cont'd) (into phone) Yes, I wrote down every word you said and I'll put it right in front of your salesman when he comes in tomorrow. (beat) No, wait, is tomorrow Wednesday? He's actually off on Wednesdays, so ---

Becky's New Car - Dietz - Post-Premiere, 10/08

8.

Holds phone away from her ear once again.

BECKY (cont'd) (re: Caller) --- oh, there he goes again! (into phone) I'M GOING TO PUT YOU ON HOLD FOR JUST ANOTHER SEC.

She puts the call on hold again.

BECKY (cont'd) (to audience) I've been here at Buckley's for nine years. With Chris in school -- and the economy in ... flux ... just totally fluxed -- with all that, Joe and I need the money. What else would I do? Bag groceries? Be a crossing guard? Go back to school and study what? -massage therapy?! (beat) Friend of mind from high school called -- my age -husband died suddenly, left her with nothing, no insurance, piles of bills -- and do you know what she's doing now? Porn. Older Woman stuff. Tasteful. No animals. Just a little leather and lot of make-up. But, you know what she said?

"Becky, I know what you must think of me ... but I needed a new life."

(pause, more quietly) Anyway: this is where I work.

(looks around) Let's go back to the house.

Light immediately restore to:

The Living Room.

BECKY Joe should be home any minute and then we can ---

(stops) My Sprite. I left it at work. Just a sec.

(to the Booth) I need to go back to work. I left my drink.

Lights immediately shift to:

The Cubicle.

BECKY grabs her soda ---

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