Sex, marriage, divorce—they’re such major problems in our ...



Sex, marriage, divorce—they’re such major problems in our society today. We’re so messed up. Our relationships are broken and hurting. We’re reaping an awful harvest. It’s passing from one generation to another. Why? Because we don’t know what God has to say about sex, marriage and divorce. He speaks to each one of those issues in 1 Corinthians. Those living in Corinth in the first century AD, have the same questions as we do today.

1 Corinthians 7:1-2 Now concerning the things about which you wrote,

They had written him with their questions. From chapter 7 through the rest of the epistle, Paul answers those questions. He begins with the issues of sex, marriage and divorce.

To review: In 1 Corinthians 7, Paul talks about sex with respect to marriage:

1. Verses 1-9: Paul is telling them that sex outside of marriage is not permissible, and that it is good for a man to remain single but if he can’t—if he’s going to burn—then he needs to get married.

2. Verses 1-2: If you cannot control your sexual desires, the only alternative to satisfying them is marriage. It’s the only option in God’s eyes.

3. Verses 3-4: Paul shows them that sex inside of marriage is never an option. In other words, if you are married, you are never to withhold yourself from your mate because the wife doesn’t have authority over her body and the husband doesn’t have authority over his body. You are not to deprive one another of that sexual desire lest you tempt your partner to end up in sin.

Kay didn’t say this last week: If you do not fulfill your mate’s needs, they are still responsible to be faithful to you and not have sex outside of marriage. You will answer to God, though, for putting your mate in a place of temptation. If your mate yields to that temptation, they are accountable to God, but you will be accountable to God also.

4. Verses 10-11: Paul speaks to the married to say, “You’re not to leave your mate. But if you insist on it, you must remain single—unmarried. And, if you’re going to get married again, the only one you can get married to is the mate that you left. You’re both believers, and as believers, God has something to say: Marriage is honorable in all. Marriage is permanent and you are to stay married. If you get divorced, the only one you can remarry is one another.”

5. Verses 12-16: If you’re married to an unbeliever, and that unbeliever is pleased to dwell with you, then you are not to leave them. You’re to stay married to them. But if the unbeliever says, “I don’t want to stay married to you,” and is going to leave, then let the husband or wife leave. You’re not under bondage in such cases because God wants peace between the two.

Paul says that it is good for you to stay married because there is a sanctification process going on. God blesses the unbeliever by that association with you. You may feel alone, isolated as the only believer in your family, but one believer in a family of all unbelievers brings a benefit to that family. They are better off with you than without you, even though they may torment you or criticize you. Maybe you had a grandmother who lived with the family and all the kids poked fun at her for quoting the Bible, loving the Lord and praying for the family. Yet later on kids will turn around and say, “It’s because of my Grandma that I came to know the Lord Jesus.” Why? Because the blessing of God is on that household since a believer is there. It’s the same for the husband as for the children. These are the general rules he lays down.

Paul lays out a main principle—a foundational principle—the pivotal point in his message:

1 Corinthians 7:17 Only, as the Lord has assigned to each one, as God has called each, in this manner let him walk. And thus I direct in all the churches. What is Paul talking about when he talks about them being “called”? He’s talking about salvation. How do you know?

(Let Scripture interpret Scripture. Within a book, you watch what the author says. This is one of the reasons to go through a book of the Bible verse by verse and chapter by chapter, studying it, observing the text and looking for key words.

When you go back to 1 Corinthians 1, as Paul writes to the church at Corinth, he reminds them that he’s called and they’re called. It is a key word right from the beginning:

1 Corinthians 1:1-2 Paul, called as an apostle of Jesus Christ… To the church of God which is at Corinth, to those who have been sanctified (set apart) in Christ Jesus, saints by calling, God went into the world, called them out of it, out of the kingdom of darkness into the kingdom of light. God took them from being sons of disobedience and made them sons and daughters of God. He called them with all who in every place call on the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, their Lord and ours: God called them; they in turn called on the name of the Lord Jesus Christ.

1 Corinthians 1:9 God is faithful, through whom you were called into fellowship with His Son, Jesus Christ our Lord. Fellowship doesn’t mean that some days you have fellowship and some days you don’t. Fellowship means this: Two fellows in the same ship. It’s the word “koinonia” and it means “to share in common”. So when you’re called out of the world and come to know the Lord Jesus Christ, then you share in common with all the saints, with the body of believers. You’re part of the church, part of that wonderful church of Jesus Christ.

Paul is talking about when they were saved. It’s important to understand this. The word “called” here is “kaleo” and is in perfect indicative. Perfect tense means a past completed action with a present or continuing result. Something that happens in the past yet remains to be so. Paul is saying then, “You were called and you remain called.” He’s talking about salvation. Indicative mood is the mood of reality, of certainty. It’s not “Maybe you were, maybe you weren’t.”

1 Corinthians 7:17 Only, as the Lord has assigned to each one, as God has called each, in this manner let him walk. “Walk” here is in present imperative: “Let him keep on walking in this manner.” And so I direct in all the churches. Paul will explain himself and ask, “What were you when you were called? What were you at the time you were saved?

1 Corinthians 7:18 Was any man called when he was already circumcised? He is not to become uncircumcised. Has anyone been called in uncircumcision? He is not to be circumcised.

1 Corinthians 7:19 Circumcision is nothing, and uncircumcision is nothing, but what matters is the keeping of the commandments of God. When a man was born Jewish, it was part of that Abrahamic Covenant as a witness to the keeping of the Law that he would be circumcised on the eighth day. If he’s a Jew who comes to know the Lord Jesus Christ, he comes circumcised. He is not to become uncircumcised. Even though that belongs to the Old Covenant yet now he belongs to the New Covenant, he is not to reverse the circumcision. If a Gentile is called who is uncircumcised, a Jew might say, “You need to get circumcised.” He does not need to get circumcised because, as a Gentile, he was saved uncircumcised.

In the body of Christ, Jew and Gentile under the New Covenant are now made one. This is the mystery of the church. The partition of the Law that separated Jew and Gentile is broken through the New Covenant because it is by grace you are saved through faith. Whether circumcised or uncircumcised doesn’t matter. Stay in the condition in which you were called.

Circumcision is nothing, and uncircumcision is nothing, but what matters is the keeping of the commandments of God. You’re a believer now. You’re to keep the commandments of God. You say, “I thought I’m not under the Law.” You’re not, however, Jesus Christ didn’t come to destroy the Law but to fulfill it. The Holy Spirit in you, then, enables you to keep the commandments of God because they are right and good.

1 Corinthians 7:20-22 Let each man remain in that condition in which he was called. Were you called while a slave? Do not worry about it but if you are able also to become free, rather do that. For he who was called in the Lord while a slave, is the Lord’s freedman;… You may be a slave but you’ve come to know Jesus Christ and He has set you free. You’re the Lord’s freed man. “If the Son shall set you free, you shall be free indeed.” …likewise he who was called while free, is Christ’s slave. You were free, but now you belong to Jesus Christ so you’re a slave to God—a love slave, a bondslave.

1 Corinthians 7:23aYou were bought with a price; Has he said that before? Yes, he said it in

1 Corinthians 6:20a For you have been bought with a price: He wants them to remember that you have been bought with a price. What is that price? The precious blood of a Lamb. The Lamb of God without spot or blemish. You’ve been bought with a price:

1 Corinthians 6:19b …and you are not your own.

1 Corinthians 7:23 You were bought with a price; do not become slaves of men.

1 Corinthians 7:24 Brethren, let each man remain with God in that condition in which he was called (brought into salvation). What were you when you were saved? Circumcised, uncircumcised; slave, free? Paul takes it even farther:

1 Corinthians 7:25-26 Now concerning virgins I have no command of the Lord, but I give an opinion as one who by the mercy of the Lord is trustworthy. I think then that this is good in view of the present distress, that it is good for a man to remain as he is. Paul takes it a step further:

1 Corinthians 7:27 Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be released (divorced—Don’t seek a divorce.). Are you released from a wife? Do not seek a wife. In other words, you were married, then divorced, then you got saved. If you were called when divorced, don’t seek a wife.

That’s where Kay was when she was saved: She was married, divorced, an immoral woman who had shaken her fist in the face of God; but God, in His mercy, after an immoral life, after an adulterous affair that lasted for two years, saved her. He saved her when she was divorced and single. But she hasn’t stayed single. So has she sinned against God? Those are the questions to answer and God has answers.

Paul is saying this: That the best thing for you is to stay in the state in which you were called. Yet, if you’re a slave and someone offers to make you free, go ahead and be free. Just know this: God called you and saved you when He wanted to so it’s good for you to remain in that state. Why?

When the gospel came to Corinth, there were all sorts of marriage situations in that church. Corinth was primarily a Gentile city even though there were Jews there. Paul stayed and taught for these years and a great many came to be saved. In that society there were two slaves for every free man. So Paul’s talking to slaves and to freed men, to circumcised Jews and uncircumcised Gentiles, to those who have been married numerous times. He’s talking to those who were used to going up to the temple to have sex with the temple prostitutes. He’s talking to this messed up society, just like ours.

There were different kinds of marriage there as described in the book Daily Life in Ancient Rome, a secular book written by Jerome Carcopino, published by Yale Press. It describes marriage between slaves. When a slave fell in love with another slave, they weren’t free so couldn’t do what they wanted to. The master could allow them to be married in a contuburnium [sp?] marriage. We could call it a “tent marriage”: He could go sleep in her tent or vice versa. They could live together in that tent or in that room of the house. The second type of marriage is a usus marriage. This means that if someone cohabitated with another, staying together for one year, then they were married. Then there was the coemptio marriage where a plebeian father would, in a fictionalized kind of way, sell his daughter to a man. The best kind and highest form of marriage was by those in the higher level of society. It was called a confarreatio marriage and similar to ours today.

So this is the society: Slaves who are in tent marriages, then if the master separates them, what do they do? A girl who has been sold to a man. What if she comes to know the Lord—or he does—what do they do? Paul has told them that their bodies are the temple of the Holy Spirit who dwells inside. If the Holy Spirit is inside you and you’re married to a non-Christian, what are you doing to the Holy Spirit when you become one flesh with him? There were all sorts of questions like these running around in their heads. What if two believers are married but not getting along? Roman society had them divorcing, which was rampant. About the time of Cicero is when they witnessed an epidemic of divorces. It was a very confused society. Seneca wrote: “No woman need to blush to break off her marriage since the most illustrious ladies have adopted the practice of reckoning the year, not by the names of the consuls (the rulers of the time) but by their husbands. (As if “In such-and-such year, my husband was this but in that year I remember what husband that was.”) They divorce in order to remarry. They marry in order to divorce.” That’s the way that Rome went. Rome disintegrated and died in and of itself because of the corruption from within. “She who marries so often does not marry. She is an adulteress by form of law.” That was earlier Rome—and they said, “No, that’s just an adulteress going from one to another.”

Paul steps into this culture. What does he have as his backdrop of spiritual truth? Paul has, first the Old Testament, then the words of Jesus Christ as his backdrop for how we are to live and behave. But, the Old Testament and Jesus, as He lived upon this earth, did not answer every situation of life. In the Bible God lays down precepts and principles for every aspect of life. He lays them down for marriage right from the beginning in Genesis 2, when he makes Eve a woman out of a rib from the side of Adam. He brings her to him so that man won’t be alone. He lays down some principles:

Genesis 2:24 For this cause a man shall leave his father and mother (Adam didn’t have one but God still laid down the principle…) and shall cleave to his wife; and they shall become (not two living together in the same tent but) one flesh.

We know from 1 Corinthians 6 that “one flesh” doesn’t mean that they’re just one in spirit, but that when a man sleeps with a harlot, the two become one flesh. So he’s talking about the sexual act of oneness, the sexual act of intercourse that puts two people together anatomically as one, showing the unity.

“What God has joined together let no man put asunder.” Where do we get that from? We don’t get that from the Old Testament but rather when Jesus appears on the scene.

The Bible presents for us a progressive revelation. God doesn’t tell us everything at one time. God just doesn’t lay down a book on all the doctrine of marriage or another of various laws of how you’re to live. Instead He begins to teach us truth and weaves it in and out of the lives and circumstances of people. Thus we see that this is not just doctrine but is the way that man is to live in the light of these truths. Now we come to Jesus’s time:

Matthew 19:3 And some Pharisees came to Him, testing Him, and saying, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any cause at all?”

God laid down the laws. He lays down the principles, precepts, truths. But the Jews come along and pick some of that truth and weave into it their own interpretation of how this is to be lived out. By the time of Jesus, there was not only the teaching of the Word of God, but also the traditions of men. Traditions where they said, “The way you’re going to fulfill this law in this present time is to do this or that.” For instance, when they washed their hands, they were to go through a ceremony and were to keep two fingers together which could not touch anything. They came up with all these things. So the Pharisees, who are the religious leaders of the day along with the Saducees, wanted to test Jesus to catch him. They were saying, “It’s all right to get rid of your wife if she burns the toast (so to speak). If she’s displeasing to you, you just say: ‘I divorce you, I divorce you, I divorce you’ and she’s gone.” So there were all these different traditions and all these different debates.

Matthew 19:4-6 He answered and said, “Have you not read, (Did you not read the Word of God?) that He who created them from the beginning mad them male and female, Marriage is not male and male, but male and female, and said, ‘For this cause a man shall leave his father and shall cleave to his wife; and the two shall become one flesh?’ Consequently they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together let no man separate.” What does “What God has joined together” mean? God said at the beginning that you leave, you cleave, and the two become one flesh. The minute that sexual act takes place, you are joined together. God is saying, “You’re married.” That’s why “it is good for a man not to touch a woman.” Nevertheless to avoid fornication, “let each man have his own wife.” It’s good not to have sexual intercourse. To avoid sex outside of marriage, get married.

Matthew 19:6-7 “Consequently they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together let no man separate.” They said to Him, “Why then did Moses command to give her a certificate of divorce and send her away?” It’s the same Greek word as in 1 Corinthians 7:11 when it says, “The husband should not send his wife away.” It’s in present tense and it means “Don’t you get in that habit of trying to get her to leave.”

Matthew 19:8-9 He said to them, “Because if your hardness of heart, Moses permitted you to divorce your wives; (“Divorce” here is the same word as “send away”.) but from the beginning it has not been this way. And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.”

Why the exception clause? See Genesis 2: “The two shall become one flesh.” And 1 Corinthians: “He who joins himself to a harlot is one flesh with her.” Thus, the act of sexual intercourse violates, or breaks, the oneness. Jesus says that you can’t divorce your spouse for any reason except for her or him having sex outside of marriage. God calls this, not an “affair”, but “adultery”. Jesus says this is the only grounds for divorce—and remarriage.

Matthew 19:10 The disciples said to Him, “If the relationship of the man with his wife is like this it is better not to marry.” They understood exactly what he was saying. Their response: “If this is the only reason a man can get rid of his wife (because wives couldn’t divorce their husbands in those days, the man had to do it) then I would be better off not marrying. It’s binding.” Yes, that’s what it is—it’s binding.

Matthew 19:11-12 But He said to them, “Not all men can accept this statement, but only those to whom it has been given (that it’s better not to marry.) Now who can accept it? For there are eunuchs who were born that way from their mother’s womb; and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men; and there are also eunuchs who made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven (for God). Those are the ones like Paul, who in all probability was married, then widowed, then said, “I can control my sexual passion and can serve God better as a single man than by getting married.

Remember that the church is Jew and Gentile in one Body. The Jews have been brought up being taught: “If you, as a man, don’t marry, you’re not going to heaven.” They added: If a woman didn’t bear a child, she couldn’t go to heaven either. So here is a society around the time of Jesus, where the Jewish culture is adding to the Word of God. Jesus comes along and straightens them out. Jesus, in Matthew 19, points them back to Deuteronomy 24 (which you can study in the Precept course on marriage), which says, in essence, this: You can’t just say: ‘I divorce you, I divorce you, I divorce you’ and kick her out the door but you have to give her a bill of divorcement. Once she has it in her hands, she is free to remarry.

Say she marries another but decides, like the Romans, that the first husband is better than the second so she wants to go back to him. Does the Law that was written by God allow her to do that? No. It goes right along with 1 Corinthians 7:10-11 But to the married I give instructions, not I, but the Lord, that the wife should not leave her husband (you are not to get rid of your mate) (but if she does leave, let her remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband), You can’t marry anyone else. It goes right back to Deut. 24.

Let’s say she has a bill of divorcement and she marries a second man who has a heart attack as she’s feeding him his dinner with a lot of grease. He dies. Oh, good, now she’s free and can go back to the first husband. No. Once she leaves her mate, even with a bill of divorcement, to marry anyone else, she is never allowed to go back.

This is why Kay personally counsels: Don’t be in a hurry to write a bill of divorcement. You know the rules. You know what it says. Give God a chance to work. Follow the rules.

In Matthew 13, Jesus is talking to His disciples.

Matthew 13:36 Then He left the multitudes, and went into the house. And His disciples came to Him saying, “Explain to us the parable of the tares of the field.” Jesus is explaining to them about the tares of the field and other parables, talking about “the kingdom of heaven”. Then He says:

Matthew 13:51-52 “Have you understood all these things?” They (His disciples) said to Him, “Yes.” And He said to them, “Therefore every scribe who has become a disciple of the kingdom of heaven (in other words, has believed) is like a head of a household, who brings forth out of his treasure things new and old. What is the scribe? He’s the teacher of the Law—of the Word. He interprets it, writes it, because they didn’t have the printing press in those days. The scribe is an authority. Jesus says that the teacher of the Law, the scribe, will bring out the old things, what the Old Testament says, the truths there, but these disciples are also going to bring out new things. So there are new insights that are going to be given in the Word of God that are just as valuable as what was written in the Old Testament.

This is what we have in the time of Paul. He says, “That’s what the Lord said, that’s what the Lord told me,” because Jesus appeared to Paul and taught him when he was three years on the back side of the desert in Damascus. Now Paul says, “I’m adding to it. This is what I’m saying. This is what is good. This is my opinion. This is truth.” But what Paul adds is no less than what the Old Testament says. Why? Because we have the Scripture in formation. We have truth being laid down for the church. That’s what Paul is doing in 1 Corinthians 7, telling us, “This is what the Old Testament taught. This is what Jesus taught (from Matthew 19 and Matthew 5 where Jesus talks about divorce and adultery, and keeping your eyes and hands under control.)

Now, in 1 Corinthians 7, Paul is adding other insights from the Lord that have to do with these issues for this messed up society. What did the Lord teach about marriage? It was permanent. The only reason that divorce was allowed was for adultery because it broke the oneness. Moses permitted the bill of divorcement because of the hardness of their hearts. If they were going to divorce their wives, God was going to protect the wife by laying down a law: You give that wife a bill of divorcement, which protects her so that she is not just cast out on the streets.

1 Corinthians 7:25 Now concerning virgins…

The question is, “What about my daughter who is still a virgin? Should I give her in marriage or not? And to whom? What do I do about my virgin daughter? I can’t live like the world, and I can’t live like Corinthian society and sell her, can I? In those days the father had control over the daughter. Marriages were not made out of love—out of meeting together, dating, and falling in love. Marriages were contracted, many times simply for monetary, property reasons, or for family reasons. For a wife in Roman society it was like this: “Honey, you’re there so that I can have kids. So, you keep my house and when I want a kid, I’ll bed down with you. Otherwise, I have a concubine down the road, I have the house of prostitution…” and it was very common for him to go there. So the man ruled. Christianity liberated the woman. I have no command of the Lord, but I give an opinion as one who by the mercy of the Lord is trustworthy. “My opinion is trustworthy. The Lord had nothing to say about this but I’m the scribe bringing out old and new treasures. This is the new treasure.

1 Corinthians 7:26-27 I think then that this is good in view of the present distress, that it is good for a man to remain as he is. Are you bound to a wife? When you were called, were you bound to a wife? Were you married? Do not seek to be released. Are you released from a wife? Do not seek a wife. “Bound” and “released” are both in perfect tense meaning a past completed action with a present or continuing result.

1 Corinthians 7:28 But if you should marry, You who? You who were called when you were released from a wife. If God saved you after you were divorced, then you remarry, you have not sinned;

Kay wishes she had known that when she got saved. Kay would have married a certain man if she’d known that but the counsel he got (through the sovereignty of God) was, “You can’t marry her, she’s divorced,” so he wouldn’t marry her. Kay thought then that she would have to stay single for the rest of her life. According to Paul, if she had known the truth, it would have been good. But God knew the ministry He had for her and He knew she needed a head—a man—so He gave her Jack in His sovereignty. Jack is a precious man who allows and wants her to serve the Lord. He gets so excited and allows her to use her gifts. He is a real gift from God. Kay doesn’t always think so sometimes, but as she matures, she does. And Jack doesn’t always think that Kay is the greatest thing from the Lord, but as they have matured and settled there is that comfortableness which is so precious. …and if a virgin should marry, she has not sinned. Yet such will have trouble in this life, and I am trying to spare you. It’s not always romance and roses. It’s not always chill bumps when he kisses you. That part goes away. But there’s a tenderness there, a sweetness there, a surety in that kiss. You may not have that excitement that you used to have before you got married.

1 Corinthians 7:29-31 But this I say, brethren, the time has been shortened, so that from now on those who have wives should be as though they had none; and those who weep, as though they did not weep; and those who rejoice, as though they did not rejoice; and those who buy, as though they did not possess; Listen up, America! …and those who use the world, as though they did not make full use of it; for the from of this world is passing away. In other worlds, don’t love this present world. It’s passing away. Married or single, I’m to live that way.

1 Corinthians 7:32 But I want you to be free from concern. One who is unmarried is concerned about the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord; You say, “Well, I’m unmarried and I’m concerned about whether I am going to find a mate.” It is better to be unconcerned and know that God in His sovereignty is going to take care of that.

1 Corinthians 7:33-34 But one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how he may please his wife, and his interests are divided. Kay has seen that as a married woman. They have a lot of single, godly, gorgeous women. But in all probability, they are going to stay single because that is their calling from the Lord. They can serve the Lord with undistracted devotion. These are capable women not freaks of nature. They are not perverted or twisted. Any man who got any of these single women would be a fortunate, fortunate man. But they’ve chosen to remain unmarried. [Editorial comment from your note transcriber: I did not choose to remain unmarried. For many of my friends and me, it was never a choice and we would not have ever taken this path voluntarily. However, I have made my peace with being single. I have chosen to be content with this plan God had for me and to make my life count for Him.] And the woman who is unmarried, and the virgin, is concerned about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and spirit; but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how she may please her husband. Remember Anna in the temple? She was a widow, only married for a few years, and she served the Lord night and day in the temple? Remember how she was able to see the Christ child?

1 Corinthians 7:35 And this I say for your own benefit; not to put restraint on you, but… Paul’s concern is that whatever we do we live under the limits of these two things: 1) to promote what is seemly, and 2) to secure undistracted devotion to the Lord. 1. Whether you are single or married, you are to promote what is seemly. “Seemly” means “good, noble, honorable, decorous, that which is appropriate.” In 1 Corinthians 12:24 it refers to the different members of the body and spiritual gifts: the seemly members on the outside that get all the honor, rather than the unseemly members like the kidney, liver, etc.

Paul wants to promote what is good and honorable. That’s why, if you’re going to burn, you get married instead of living in adultery, fornication, or perversion.

2. God wants our undistracted devotion. He wants us to live for Him, married or single. To have just one passion and that is the Lord Jesus Christ. That’s why his next commands are so important.

1 Corinthians 7:36-38 But if any man thinks that he is acting unbecomingly toward his virgin daughter, by not letting her get married, if she should be of full age, and if it must be so, let him do what he wishes, he does not sin; let her marry. Don’t say, “You’ve got to stay this way.” If she wants to marry, let her marry. But he who stands firm in his heart, being under no constraint, but has authority over his own will, and has decided this in his own heart, to keep his own virgin daughter, he will do well. He will support her for the rest of his life, too, remember that. So then both he who gives his own virgin daughter in marriage does well, and he who does not give her in marriage will do better. Paul has just answered the question in verse 25: “Now concerning virgins.”

1 Corinthians 7:39 A wife is bound as long as her husband lives; You’re married, so you’re bound to your marriage for as long as you live. The principle is that the only thing that breaks that marriage is adultery or death. So you’re bound as long as you live. Now, if you got saved but your spouse didn’t and wants to depart, you let him or her depart. You’re not under bondage. …but if her husband is dead she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord. She’s allowed to be married. Is she allowed to be married if her unbelieving husband leaves? Yes. Paul has already said that. He’s not repeating that.

…only in the Lord. In 2 Corinthians 6, Paul says, “You are not to join yourself to an unbeliever. In any circumstance, you’re not to marry an unbeliever.” See 1 Cor 6:14-7:1.

1 Corinthians 7:40 But in my opinion she is happier if she remains as she is; If you have a husband who has died, you would be better off remaining as you are. But if you are going to get married, it can’t be any old bachelor or maid who is available. It has to be in the Lord. …and I think that I also have the Spirit of God. What Paul has given us goes right along with the principles and precepts that have been taught, but now he throws additional light, bringing out of the treasure things old and things new. Both are from God and this is what God says.

How do you operate in all of that? You have the principles and the precepts. If you find yourself in a difficult situation, say, “God, I want Your will and only Your will. You saved me when You wanted to save me. You are the sovereign ruler of all the universe and, Father, I trust in You. You lead me and guide me. You’re my God and my Lord and my Master and I’ll be obedient to You. Show me how to handle the situation I’m in. I will go according to Your Book, Your whole Book and I’ll walk in the light of that. You show me what to do.” And He will, because He’s faithful and He says marriage is honorable in all.

Marriage shows the picture of Christ’s relationship to His bride, the Church. He wants us in our marriages, in our relationships, to show to the world what our relationship is like with Jesus Christ. We do that in our marriages or even in our singleness. It’s undistracted devotion to the Lord. It is what is honorable, decorous, appropriate.

Remember from last week’s lecture about the woman who came to Kay, crouched down before her weeping because God hated divorce? (He does. He hates the putting away of His wives.) The woman told Kay that she had been married all these years to a husband who had had hundreds of affairs. Finally, he divorced her and still she felt guilty. Kay opened 1 Corinthians 7 and explained it to her. Kay looked at her and said, “You have permission from God to remarry.” She said, “I do? No, I don’t. They told me I could never get remarried.” Kay said, “Here, let me show you. An unbeliever departed. You are not under bondage.” The Word of God has the answers. She was set free. It was all Kay could do to keep from praying about the husband God was going to send her because Kay didn’t want her to think that she (Kay) was a prophet. But Kay believes that God is going to give that woman, who honored God so much, a godly husband. If it happens she’ll let us know.

1 Corinthians 7:22-23 For he who was called in the Lord while a slave, is the Lord’s freedman; likewise he who was called while free, is Christ’s slave. You were bought with a price; do not become slaves of men.

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