Warning Signs of Teen Dating Abuse



Warning Signs of Teen Dating Abuse

An alarming number of teenage girls are being controlled or abused by their boyfriends by the time they graduate from high school. You must know the signs of abuse in order to stop it. Psychotherapist and leading expert on the subject of teen dating Dr. Jill Murray's warning signs can help you prevent being a victim.

The Warning Signs:

• Isolation: Do you have fewer friends than you did before meeting your boyfriend? This speaks to the isolation that an abusive boy imposes on a girlfriend. He might isolate her first from her friends, then from her outside activities and then her family. She can then become emotionally dependent on him, and find it difficult to leave.

• Emotional Changes: In the early infatuation stage of any relationship girls are often happy. Once the boy becomes abusive, she begins feeling sad and desperate. She may cry more or want to be alone.

• Constant Communication: Does your boyfriend constantly call or text her, and you must call him back immediately? He might ask you where you are, what you’re doing, who you’re with, what time you'll be back and how many other boys you have spoken to.

• Jealousy Issues: You might notice your boyfriend's jealousy. If you look at or speak casually with another boy, does he get upset? Did he tell you that he loved you early in the relationship? This is his "hook." You might find this romantic, but it could be another red flag for jealousy and issues with control.

• The Boyfriend's Background: If your boyfriend comes from a tragic home life, it could mean trouble. He might not be far behind in his parent's footsteps if they use drugs or are abusive to him or each other.

• The Need to Impress: When he gives you "advice" about your choice in friends, hairstyle, clothes or makeup, notice if you are following his every word. You are likely in complete denial and may be in fear of what he will do to you if you do not change.

• Making Excuses for Him: You might stick-up for your boyfriend, defending his words and actions. Don't let denial force you to ignore your gut! He may have convinced you that you’re too sensitive when he calls you names or tells you he's "only kidding."

Most importantly, if you keep the line of communication open, you'll be able to notice more signs. For more information, call the National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline at 866-331-9474 or the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-SAFE.

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A Special Report: Tyra Banks and Dating Violence

(OAD 03/12/2009)

|It's the story that put dating violence back in the headlines: Chris Brown, charged with two felonies. Why this is personal to |

|Tyra Banks. Plus, what teens have to say. |

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A Message to Teens

Oprah and Tyra Banks talk about Chris Brown and Rihanna's headline-making relationship. Plus, Tyra's personal experience.

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The Conversation Continues!

After the show, Oprah and Tyra talk to teens and audience members about Rihanna's alleged abuse.

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Teens Speak Out

How do young people across the country feel about Chris and Rihanna? Go inside the hearts and minds of America's youth.

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Brittany's Story

He threatened her and tried to suffocate her, but she kept going back. Why this teenage girl says she couldn't stay away.

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10 Questions for Parents

Want to talk to your teen about relationship abuse? The Love Is Not Abuse campaign helps you get the conversation started.

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The Warning Signs

Teens across the country are involved in abusive relationships. Jealousy, isolation…what parents should watch out for.

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If you need help or know someone who does, call the National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline at 866-331-9474 or the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-SAFE.

Find out more about Liz Claiborne Inc.'s Love Is Not Abuse campaign at

Help Stop Relationship Violence

Liz Claiborne Inc.'s ongoing anti-abuse campaign—Love Is Not Abuse —communicates a simple but powerful and indisputable message: a loving relationship should never involve abusive or violent behavior. This is a problem that won't go away until everyone is aware of what they can do to prevent it. Don't stand on the sidelines—stand up.

Step 1: Think about relationship abuse as a major social problem that touches the lives of women of all social, economic and racial backgrounds. Focus on the ways in which you, as an empowered bystander, can support at-risk women and girls and confront abusive men.

Step 2: If you are being emotionally, psychologically or physically abused in an intimate relationship, or have been in the past, seek professional help now. If you suspect that your sister, friend, co-worker or neighbor is being abused, let her know you're there to support her.

Step 3: Familiarize yourself with the resources for women in your community, including women's centers, counseling centers and health service organizations. Be a positive resource for women close to you by sharing information and making appropriate referrals.

Step 4: Support women and men who are working to end men's violence against women. Get involved with a local women's organization. If you belong to a community group, organize a fundraiser to benefit battered women's shelters and rape crisis centers.

Step 5: Help to educate and empower girls not to tolerate abuse or sexism. Get involved with youth outreach and mentoring programs in local high schools and middle schools.



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