Eesti pulmakombed - Folklore



Estonian wedding customs. Pulmakombed . Taive Särg

In the ancient times „pulling a woman“ – kidnapping a woman either by force or with the girl’s consent. In this material, there are introduced the wedding customs of ~18.-20. century.

Communicating before the wedding. Meeting at parties and collective works.

Ehalkäimine ~’going at sunset’ – sleeping together with a girl/seeping at a girl’s place (in a granary, hay loft), mostly in the evenings of Thursday and Saturday (and Sunday).

Eelkosjad ~’pre propose’. Scouting (also known as) small vodkas. Boys took a birch or a stick (or a hat, belt or sward) to a girl’s home. If the preproposal was rejected, a gift has thrown out.

Girls had the ritual of inviting to the sheath, going to the sheats – in the past, girls wore a knife in a sheath on their waist and in these rituals, boys were given the chance to put a knife into a girl’s sheath.

Kosjad ’propose, pay suit’. The groom and the best man (usually a male relative) drove to propose to the girl in the evening of Thursday (or Saturday). As a pretext, they said that they were seeking for a lost animal and they had red vodka, presents and earnest money with them. Sometimes, a wrong girls was offered to them before or they were allowed to choose among several girls. If the proposal was accepted, a belt or a pair of gloves was tied around the bottle. The suitor was regaled with eggs and also bread, meat and milk.

Engagement. Kihlus (kihl ’an agreement’) – the groom brought the earnest money and gifts (apron, kerchief, knife, ring), which are the rudiments of buying a woman. The suitor was given presents – for example, a belt, gloves or hosiery/stockings; these could be tied around the neck of an empty bottle of vodka.

Reading, announcing (Christian tradition). Lugemine. The next morning they drive to the church to put it in writing. After that, at least three weeks pass and during these weeks, every Sunday the engagement was announced.

Making and collecting the trousseau veimed, veimevakk (the handicraft that is given as a present at a wedding). The Bride makes the trousseau together with her friends and collects from the village. For this purpose, she goes in the village, offers the vodka and invites people to the wedding. In return, she gets handicraft.

Inviting to the wedding. Later, inviting to the wedding was separated from collecting the trousseau. Then the bride invited only closer relatives, others were invited by her brother or her parents. Only the relatives were invited and they had to be invited at least 3 times. The invited quests had to bring food to the wedding and give something as a present for the trousseau. The others (neighbours, aqcuintances) came uninvited (gatecrashers) and they didn’t have the obligation to bring food or donate.

The wedding pulmad was hold with „two ends“, which means at the bride’s as well as at the groom’s - in autumn or winter, because then there was more food and more time. They began usually on Monday or Thursday during new moon and lasted at least for 3 days. There were many defending magical rituals, for example „besieging“ – walking three times anticlockwise around the wedding procession (’wedding train’), the bride or sth else. Also many fertility rituals.

Main persons in the wedding. The protagonist is the best man – a relative of the groom, his ensigns were a sward and a white kerchief. Kaasanaine (~’the best woman’) – a relative of the bride, an older married woman. Pruuttüdrukud – bride maids, unmarried girls. Peiupoisid – ’groom’s boys’, unmarried young men. Bride’s brother – did not have to be really the brother of the bride, he was the head of the wedding jokes. Wedding singers kaasitajad from both from the bride and from the groom and a wedding musician(s).

The the wedding began separately. The gathering of the guests to the groom’s and to the bride’s homes, in distant past it took place the evening before already. The guests took food and drink with them – the wedding bag.

The first day of the wedding. Morning in their own homes. The groom with his relatives went to the bride’s home, a special procession (saajarong) with horses was made for this. Barricades were made to the way of the procession, to get through them one had to show the „passport“ (offer vodka). The gate of the bride’s home was also closed and the permission to enter was got after haggling, singing and paying the ransom or showing the „passport“.

Demanding and searching of the bride. The custom of fake bride – the bride was replaced with somebody else. The fake bride was ascertained through dancing because during this her caouflage fell down. After that the true bride was brought out.

Eating. The bride is covered with a kerchief, so she cannot eat herself, she is fed. The newlyweds do not take the food themselves to their plates, then they will have a friendly life. A bottle of vodka and a loaf of bread were on the table all the time to ensure wealthy life. After eating, there were amusements (dances-games).

The modern custom, Russias loan is that guests shout Kibe! ’bitter’. Then bride and groom have to kiss.

2nd day of the wedding (or the evening of the 1st day). The bride leaves from home – a sad event with many songs. Before leaving the bride is dressed up. A bread, sometimes a rooster or an item of clothing were given as a present to ensure that the fortune will last. Ash was secretly taken from the bride’s home to prevent her from yearning for home.

The bride left covered, a large kerchief around her head so that she would not find the way back and would be protected. She was taken in arms to the horsecart or sleigh. While leaving, the bride had to cry. „If you don’t cry while going, you will cry while coming“. It was tried to kidnap the bride on the way or to give a wrong girl as a bride.

If there was a lamenting trdition then bride lamented before leaving home.

Driving to the groom’s home. It was thought that when a bride looks back during the ride, the children will take after her. On the way they all people ranted and hurtled, the bridal train was besieged several times; these were the measures to prevent the evil. The bride had to throw oblations onto the road. The barricades were made again to ask the „passport“. They entered the yard of the groom from the place where they had not done it before, for example they broke the fence. After that they drove three times around the house.

Greeting the bride in the groom’s home. Several magical customs for fertility and protection: the bride was heaved from the vehicle onto a fur coat or a carpet, was brought into the house either in arms or had to step with her right foot, crosses were made into the room for defence. Sometimes (in newer times) an exam in diligence or work skills or patience: spinning, changing diapers of a baby. Nowadays, tests for the men are made as well, for example breaking big logs (with an axe).

Marriage ceremony in the church (Christian tradition) was weakly linked to the wedding. For example, they could go to the church a week before or a week after the wedding with a small company. The bride and the groom came there separately. It was also possible that they went to the church on their way from the bride’s home to the groom’s home. After the ceremony, the bride’s brother tried to kidnap the bride and groom’s friends (peiupoisid) had to guard, not the groom.

Eating in the groom’s home – aulaud ’honour table’ – together with the wedding guests from the bride’s side. It begins with offering salt and bread to the newlyweds, sometimes they had to eat soup from one bowl with one spoon. The bride still sits with the large kerchief over her head. It was taken off during a special procedure (in Western Estonia with the end of a sward) or before tanutamine. Sometimes the bride was given a boy into her lap to ensure that the first child would be a boy.

Making acquinted with the new home – the bride was walked singins songs, the buildings, yard, animals and so on were shown to her and she had to give oblations to everything.

Traditional pagan marriage ceremony tanutamine ’putting on a special cap, bonnet of married woamn’, also known as linutamine ’putting on a special kerchief’, põlletamine ’putting an apron’.

Through this ceremony the bride becomes a married woman, it takes place usually on the first day arriving at the groom’s home. A bonnet (or a kerchief or doily), is put on her head, often an apron is also tied on her waist – these were the main features of a married woman. The procedure is quite secret and takes place in granary or in sauna and there are a few people. The first time the bride was not allowed to accept the bonnet, she had to throw it down. Between the 19th and the 20th centuries, gambling away the bridal wreath (pruudipärg, Germ. Brautkranz) began to replace the tanutamine. The song „We are plaiting the bridal wreath“ Me pruudipärga punume (Wir winden dir den Jungfernkranz) is still popular and it comes from the German folklore. It became well-known from the opera Der Freischütz by C. M. V. Weber.

Dancing. All the male guests danced with the bride, the first was someone from the groom’s side, usually the best man. Probably an ancient magical ritual of fertility. In the old times they danced with the music of the bagpipe, later violin adn more modern instrumenst was used. The dance was the old Estonian walse (labajalavalss), the walse (valss) today.

The wedding night. The first day at the groom’s home ended with the ritual of taking the newlyweds to sleep. In ancient times there was a custom to put them sleep into (sheep)barn, also to a barn or granary. They were taken to sleep, accompanied by the wedding persons. The kaasanaine (the best woman) undressed the bride, the peiupoiss (groom’s boy) undressed the groom. The clothes, shoes, stockings and other things were guarded all the night so they could not be stealed.

In the morning, the newlyweds were awakened with singing, playing musical instruments and noise. The bride had to leave some kind of handicraft (f e a belt), sometimes money for those who had made the bed The one who washes with the newlyweds’ washing water, will be the next to get married.

The trousseau is brought from the bride’s home and its contents are divided. The gifts were given to the relatives of the groom and to the wedding main persons (best man, musician and so on). The bride’s brother held out the gifts with his sward or the bride did it herself. Giving money for the gifts is a newer tradition. The older tradition is giving promises or wishing: you will get a hayfield that you have to mow 6 times a week (wipe the room); this year there are two of you, next year three.

Collecting money – the main form of collective aid in weddings. Wiping a floor or a table: the bride sweeped up the money that had been thrown onto the floor or table.

The most common and new custom was to collect with beer or vodka. Everyone who drank for the health of newlyweds, gave money in return. The older tradition was collectiong money with beer, more modern with vodka. Wedding gifts became popular in the 20th century, when they replaced the collected money.

Wedding jokes. The peiupoisid had to sleep together with the pruuttüdrukud (bridal maids and groom’s boys together). Those, who did not do that, were punished in humorous ways. Those who tried to sleep at night, were chaffed: they were tied together, their clothes and belongings were stolen, especially footwear and headwear. Other movable things were stolen as well: the wedding table, the bride. In the morning, the things had to be bought back and the lucre went to the newlyweds. People did not come to a wedding in new clothes because after the wedding, all the clothes were broken and dirty. Fake newlyweds were also a wedding joke – parody of the wedding traditions. Wedding sauna, sedding doctor as well.

Singing and dancing in the wedding. Wedding songs were parts of the ritual and accompanied all the important moments: the arrival and entering of the groom, the bride’s leaving from home, arriving at the groom’s home, teaching and criticising the bride and the groom and so on. The wedding singers were usually married female relatives from both the bride’s and the groom’s side. Between the two sides there was sang a dialogue and even singing competition and that’s why there were really skilled and famous wedding singers who knew many verses and could improvise fast.

The 3rd day of the wedding. The wedding ride. Usually the weddings „broke“ on the third day, when the relatives of the bride turned back home.

Ending. The sign of the end was special food (mostly cabbage soup) and gestures (f e knocking with wood or stone on the wall of the house from the outside).

Afterparty took place a week after the wedding, sometimes there were two of them: in the bride’s and in the groom’s home.

................
................

In order to avoid copyright disputes, this page is only a partial summary.

Google Online Preview   Download