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From: Ciara McCormack < @>To: (Whitecaps /U20 Head Coach)CC: (Whitecaps President)Sent: Wed May 09 14:30:29 2007Subject: Reasons Behind My DepartureCoach NameAs I just told you, I have decided to go play for Ottawa. I made the decision that I wanted to go into a different environment Monday night (2 nights ago). Although it probably seems like an on the spot decision, its been a decision months in the making. I seem to be a person that people come to with their issues, or by virtue of circumstance, whether I have wanted to be or not, I have been right around those issues, these last few months. There seems to be a code of silence in a sense, as people feel like the threat of coming forward or standing up to something they don't think is right, will jeopardize their opportunity with the Whitecaps and thus the National Team, and this card dangling in the air makes them just feel like they need to take whatever treatment is handed to them . I have a personal policy of being only positive; either accept the fact I am in a situation because I have chosen to be there, or get out. Its taken a great deal of focus to forget about all the off field happenings, which I had, and focus on why I am here, which is to play soccer, but when my frustrations off the field starting creeping onto the field as well, this is where I had to say enough is enough..Since I hit my last straw Monday night, I spoke with Ottawa yesterday and have been offered a spot on their roster and everything taken care of this summer besides groceries. I just want to go somewhere where I feel valued and appreciated as a person and a player as well as all my teammates, which to be honest, the last few months has not been the case.I guess at this stage, I just want to let you know the specifics as to the issues at stake.1. Lack of Support w/ National Teama. Obviously for those of us who have chosen to put aside our career aspirations and live the soccer lifestyle, we have made that choice with the National Team as the ultimate goal. It was frustrating to feel that from your end, you weren't doing everything you could to support us being successful with that opportunity; on top of the 9 sessions a week with the National Team which we had been given the opportunity to attend, there was also the expectation of us to be at Whitecaps practices, that you yourself told me in our talk up at SFU that day, there would be "3 or 4 of those players at most" on the first team once the season started.While the girls who just had the National Team training were saying how exhausted they were with the intense training we were doing, on top of that we were expected to also attend Whitecaps training, which at times numbered three hard training sessions for us a day.b. When (high school player) and (high school player) had myself and (another older player) approach you after training in the morning in White Rock in Feb about how exhausted they were and that they didn't want to have to go to the Whitecaps practice, your response was "what do you guys think you should do?", which obviously was a far cry from the support that was hoped for in posing the question in the first place. Not wanting to displease anyone, we all drove to SFU from White Rock, after a quick bite to eat and changing out of our wet clothes, for something like our 11th training session in 6 days, at least for (2 players) and I.c. After (National Team Head Coach) had invited me to training, the Mon, Tues, Wed, while the National Team was in town before leaving for China, while you were in Alabama, I subsequently sent an email to (assistant coach) and (manager) requesting that I could miss the evening session and the morning intro weights session the following morning with the Whitecaps. (2 Other Players) requested the same, for that last opportunity to train at the phenomenal level of the National Team. Subsequently, we received an email via (Whitecaps manager), from you in response, telling us that we were expected at all Whitecaps training, and there would be no excuses, even though still more than half the team wasn't even in town at this stage.d. Another specific example of this lack of support was the email you sent me when I told you that I wouldn't be able to play in a Friday Whitecaps game in Feb because of a calf injury. You responded and asked me if I planned on training with the National Team and then not play the game with the Whitecaps, to which I forwarded you the email I had sent to (head National Team coach) letting him know that I was missing practice because of the same calf injury. It did however, bother me, the insinuation that instead of supporting me with the National Team opportunity, instead all you seemed to care about, would be me playing in a meaningless game with most players who wouldn't even be with the first team come the beginning of the regular season.e. A final specific example of this lack of support, was when I was in a car pool with (player name), who was crying speaking to you on the phone, listening to you tell her that she was selfish for attending a National Team practice instead of being at the airport to greet (star player) on her arrival, and for her plans the next day again hearing you tell her that she was again being selfish for planning on going to National Team practice instead of showing (star player) around the neighbourhood the following morning.?2. The Treatment of Local Playersa. Personal Treatment:I witnessed a situation first hand on the phone with (player), after listening to how excited she was from a phone call from (whitecaps manager) to say that her room was ready, subsequently being told a little while later in a phone call from you, that the expectation was that she sleep in a room referred to resembling a closet, because of (star player’s) profile as a player. And again hearing her being referred to as selfish for putting up some resistance to even the idea of that in terms of her needs being less important than (star player)'s, when she is someone who is a leader on this team and who has given a lot to the organization. What bothered me about that, was although it was (player) having that conversation, I knew that (player) was a representation of all of us players who aren't high profile, and I knew it could just as easily be me or one of the other girls that you would have had no problem with sleeping in a closet for the summer, which again made me see quite clearly the value that you see us with. This sickened me especially, because I know for one, that us local, "no name players", have put in a lot of time in the off season driving to places for free and making appearances in the name of the Whitecaps. That idea of us as less valued bothered me as well with that committment in the off-season coupled with our connections and efforts in the local communities through coaching, which reflect well on the Whitecaps and brings kids to games, would warrant such treatment towards someone who represents us as a whole.b. Financial TreatmentAgain, this is something that necessarily didn't affect me directly because of how lucky I am to have girlsCAN to help me stay afloat financially, but something that contributed to the stress I felt through my teammates confiding in me-again being the idea that for those girls who are done with university, are trying to figure out a way to stay afloat financially in the summer on $300/month. Obviously everyone is there, full well knowing the situation, but at the same time, again people feeling that their commitment is being questioned, if they have to miss a practice to work (especially when the work that they have worked around practice has been affected with the time of practice fluctuating so often). Again the feeling of stress that many feel, and not feeling like they are valued enough to be covered in at least housing for the summer. That coupled with again the attitude from you that is perceived by players in "that's how it is, don't play for the Whitecaps if you don't like it" seems to contradict the conversation that I had with you at SFU when in telling me about why you didn't want me to leave and play in Norway, primarily because I was an older local player--yet support for these players seems to be the least of your concerns represented by your actions.3. Treatment of Young Players Who Are Still in School:Again, this is something that bothered me immensely, as I am close with the younger girls on the team, and again, they are stressed enough, in relation to this problem, to say something to me. From what has been confided in me, their committment to the team and subsequent opportunities has been questioned because they don't want to/are not able to miss a morning worth of school in order to attend a day practice during the week.This angers me, as then there is a player like (young player), who has missed school because of soccer, coming to me for help with her homework because she is worried she isn't going to graduate. I couldn't help but think, after helping her for an afternoon with her Spanish 11 homework after National Team practice a couple of months ago, if the very people who she feels pressured by to come to all the training, would pay her way through school or even help her get to a university, if, God forbid, she was to break both her legs and never play soccer again. Because of missing school with soccer, she was/is in such a precarious situation academically, and that juxtaposed with younger players who are being pressured to miss school to potentially end up in that kind of situation, makes me extremely angry.4. Whitecaps/National Team Connection and Subsequent Power Imbalance/Lack of Transparency.It has been verbalized to me and other players, both verbally and in print, that it is because of you that we have been given our opportunities, whether with the Whitecaps and/or the National Team. I find this troubling on a few levels.a.? How I operate, you don't do things for people, to throw it back in their face.b.? I would think as a coach, helping a player getting to the next level, would be something to celebrate being a part of, rather than something to hold over their head.c. Furthermore, myself and other players have worked our tails off in figuring a way off the field to get by financially to be playing full time, as well as the on field hard work to become tactically, technically and physically proficient, to be at either the Whitecaps or National Team level. For sure, as a coach you have been a vehicle by which to open a door for a player, but it is because of our hard work, as players, that we have walked through it. To try and take credit and in some way insinuate that it is because of you that we have been given that opportunity, in my mind is inappropriate, unprofessional, unfair and leaves a bad taste in the mouth. To me, that says that since you have the power to have given that opportunity, you also have the power to take it away. In my gut, this feels completely unethical and sets up a dangerous and inappropriate power position for you, basically insinuating that you have our dreams in your hands, when for most of us, who are battling to stay afloat financially, that dream is all we have and all that we have worked towards.d. The Lack of TransparencyAgain the idea that people feel silenced because if they say something they may ruin their opportunities should they get on your bad side, and the immense power that that gives you, to act however you want to, no matter how unprofessional, unethical or unfair, because their dreams or aspirations are in your hands.e. The Abuse of PowerWhile I can identify someone like (player) because I was there first hand and witnessed the situations because you chose to handle them over the phone with her while we were together because of carpooling, I don't feel comfortable divulging the names of other people because of again the power you have as a coach to directly influence their success on the field by punishing them for speaking up, which is what everyone fears the most; being identified and thus punished, which to me is a complete abuse of power that you have as a coach and a complete abuse of your connection with the National Program. People being told specifically, to keep things between you and them, is another indication of this secrecy and to me is a red flag that in you asking them to essentially keep it as a secret, you know you are doing something wrong. Its problematic to me, that this attitude is prevalent that people must just put up with being mistreated, if they want to have their opportunity to even step on the field and be successful and get that coveted opportunity with the National Team.These feelings borne out of this abuse of power and manipulation doesn't seem to discriminate in terms of characteristics of people on the team; I have been approached, or witnessed your actions in play with everyone from the youngest and newest members of the team, to those older, veteran types who have been with the organization for many years, from starters to the very last players on the roster. Everyone within that wide spectrum, including myself, in many different situations and manners, to different degrees, as described above, the commonality is that all of them feel disrespected, not valued and/or unappreciated etc, and all feel like they just have to take it if they want a chance for success with the Whitecaps and thus an opportunity with the National Team. To my very core, I know that this is not right.The one thing that was holding me together and staying focused and positive in light of all of the above was just focusing on ripping it up on the field, being a leader in training and just taking all of my energy and giving it all to excelling on the field, which I can look at myself in the mirror and say that I have done. I know that it is now up to me to go somewhere else and on the field prove that I am a valuable asset-- that being said, so much of my passion and the energy and determination that I base my game on is through the joy I get from all the instrinsic good things about playing; a positive environment, feedback, feeling valued and appreciated, all things that I haven't been feeling the last few months, whether myself or through how my teammates are feeling, so perhaps it is better for me as a player to be somewhere else.I don't want to leave the Whitecaps, I love the Whitecaps and have been with the team on and off since 2001, but I am not willing to put up with all this, or watch my teammates put up with this any longer. By no longer being in the situation, I do have the freedom to say something and break the code of silence. So many of my teammates, including myself before this point have felt trapped in calling out things that they know aren't right in how they are being treated because of that power imbalance created by the Whitecaps being so closely aligned with the National Team. Although ethically, my leaving the Whitecaps, shouldn't affect any opportunities I get to train with the National Team, I realize that often times politics are a lot stronger than ethics, but I am willing to take that risk. Leaving a situation to the girls with the Whitecaps now, as well as the young ones coming up of an environment where they feel they have a voice and don't feel their passion, opportunity, and work that they have put into their National Team dreams is threatened in calling out things that they don't feel is right, to me is more important than any amount of National Team caps that I could ever get.On a personal note, I am sad that things have come to this point. Five years ago if you had asked me who my favourite coach of all time was, from all the coaches I have had and all the places that I have played, I would have answered you in a heartbeat. What made me admire you so much, and make me so fond of you, was how you truly seemed to care about us as players and furthermore, our development as people was as important to you or at least seemed to be, as much as what you gave us in the talents and knowledge that you had/have as a coach. That's what made you special, and why it seemed like you excelled ahead of other equally qualified and capable coaches. To see you change from that wonderful person, who I see you as at your core, into someone who reeks of arrogance, that seems so focused on what's best for him ahead of everything else, and who is capable of acting in a manner towards players that is manipulative?and destructive, and who is able to bring players to tears with what you say and how you treat them, makes me very sad since the pedestal I used to have you on, stood so high at one time.I have cced (Whitecaps President) on this email as well, since I have been with the Whitecaps since 2001 and want to make sure the club knows the reasons behind my decision to depart in such a last minute fashion. I appreciate everything the club has done for me, and the amazing opportunities that have been provided to me through my involvement with the club, and am very sad to go, but feel that I have to do what's best for me, as well as for the other girls to make this a positive situation.As I said, I would be more than happy to meet in person to discuss any/all of it. Just let me know.Best of luck this season.Sincerely,Ciara??? ................
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