SA LITERATURE

[Pages:219]SA LITERATURE

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Sexaholics Anonymous.

1. Sexual addiction--Treatment.

2. Sexaholics Anonymous.

RC560.S43S48

1989

616.85'8306

89-

10261

ISBN 0-9622887-3-X

Grateful acknowledgment is made for permission to reprint the following:

Excerpts from Alcoholics Anonymous. Copyright 1976 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc. Reprinted by permission of Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

Excerpts from Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions. Copyright 1953 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc. Reprinted by permission of Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

Copyright ? 1989-2002 SA Literature All rights reserved.

First preliminary edition published 20 May 1984 Revised 1 July 1984 Revised 6 November 1984 Revised 5 May 1986 New and revised edition July 1989 Reprinted with footnote added to p. 192, 15 October 2001 Cover art copyright ? 1989 SA Literature Cover logo trademark of Sexaholics Anonymous

The Problem

Many of us felt inadequate, unworthy, alone, and afraid. Our insides never matched what we saw on the outsides of others.

Early on, we came to feel disconnected-from parents, from peers, from ourselves. We tuned out with fantasy and masturbation. We plugged in by drinking in the pictures, the images, and pursuing the objects of our fantasies. We lusted and wanted to be lusted after.

We became true addicts: sex with self, promiscuity, adultery, dependency relationships, and more fantasy. We got it through the eyes; we bought it, we sold it, we traded it, we gave it away. We were addicted to the intrigue, the tease, the forbidden. The only way we knew to be free of it was to do it. "Please connect with me and make me whole!" we cried with outstretched arms. Lusting after the Big Fix, we gave away our power to others.

This produced guilt, self-hatred, remorse, emptiness, and pain, and we were driven ever inward, away from reality, away from love, lost inside ourselves.

Our habit made true intimacy impossible. We could never know real union with another because we were addicted to the unreal. We went for the "chemistry," the connection that had the magic, because it by-passed inti macy and true union. Fantasy corrupted the real; lust killed love.

First addicts, then love cripples, we took from others to fill up what was lacking in ourselves. Conning ourselves time and again that the next one would save us, we were really losing our lives.

Contents

Preface To the Newcomer 1 A Personal Story 9

PART I The Problem 26

Sexaholism--The Addiction 29 Lust--The Force Behind the Addiction 39 The Spiritual Basis of Addiction 45

PART II The Solution 60

Getting Started 63 How It Works--The Practical Reality 77 Surrender-Steps One, Two, and Three 79

Step One 83 Step Two 89 Step Three 93 Making the Wrongs Right -- Steps Four

Through Ten 97 Step Four 105 Step Five 111

Steps Six and Seven 115 Steps Eight and Nine 123 Step Ten 129 Step Eleven 135 Step Twelve 143 Overcoming Lust and Temptation 157

PART III The Fellowship of Sobriety 170

Starting a New SA Group 173 Meetings--How They Work 185 The Sobriety Definition 191

APENDIXES

Appendix 1 SA Meeting Formats 197 Appendix 2 Readings Commonly

Used in Meetings 201 Appendix 3 Where to Go for More Information 211

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