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My friend is in an unhappy marriage that she is constantly complaining about to her friends and family, but never to her husband. Her husband is much older than her, has very different hobbies, and treats her daughter in a very different manner than he treats his own children. This is the same child that he decided to adopt legally. They are never really together as a couple, and usually only attend events together that he is interested in. They fight often about things that occur in their life, especially about their children and the finances. She constantly talks to everyone else about how she is feeling rather than telling her husband how she really feels about their marriage.
The best way to conduct the research necessary to help solve this problem is by talking with marriage counselors, researching techniques used in counseling, getting books from the library on how to deal with a problematic marriage and speaking with a divorce attorney. The sources of information that I will use is everything that comes from a reputable source that will help my friend to finally make a decision about speaking with her husband about what has been occurring in their marriage and how to deal with it head on. Giving her ideas about counseling for her marriage and family, along with bringing up the potential of divorce will be the best way to help her finally address this problem.
The best way to work out the details of this solution to her problem would be to present her with overwhelming evidence that she needs to speak to her husband about doing something about their marriage and her unhappiness within it. By researching the details of counselors in the area that deal with marriage and family counseling, offer books on the topic of how to work on her marriage and giving her details about what a divorce would entail is the best way to guide her towards making a decision. No longer will she be able to complain about her marriage as I would have provided her tools to a solution. It can also take away her fear of saying something to her husband as it will not be completely unknown territory. She will understand the potential outcomes that may occur from finally talking about her true feelings.
I think that there is the possibility for a lot of criticism from other people. First it would be on how I would be forcing her into this type of decision. The best way to get around that criticism is by pointing out how often she complains about her marriage, the way her husband treats her daughter and other issues they face as a couple. She has been using this as a way to blow off steam and has basically included me in on her marriage. Helping her to find a solution that makes her happy is important. I think that she may face criticism from other people, as well, but knowing that she has options rather than just dealing with an unhappy marriage will help her to better find a solution.
The best way to decide what action should be taken in this situation is to gather all the information that I looked over and present it to my friend when we have plenty of time to talk. The first difficulty that I probably will face in trying to help her is that she will try to brush it all off as just small issues. The best way to overcome this difficulty is to list all the times that she has given me negative information about her marriage to how often she positively talks about her marriage, which is almost never. I will also tell her that no matter her finally action I will still be her friend.
My friend is stuck in an unhappy marriage with a man that is much older than her and constantly complains about her situation. Gathering information to help her make a final decision on how to deal with this problem is one of the best ways that I can help her. There are a few solutions that she can decide to use, such as counseling or divorce, to change her life for the better. The best way to work out the details for this solution is to give her plenty of information to make an informed decision on how to approach her husband. There may be criticism over my involvement or her wanting to make a change, but from her constant comments on how horrible things are in life it is obvious that there needs to be a change for the better. She will be able to finally talk to her husband and decide how she wants to handle her marriage based on the information researched for her.
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