The arrival of a second baby



The arrival of a second baby

Coping with a new baby and a toddler or older child can be very demanding. Until now your older child has been the centre of attention. They may now think you are spending all your time with the baby and feel jealous.

You can often find it hard trying to divide your time and attention. If you are tired after a wakeful night with the baby, facing a busy toddler in the morning can be hard. Remember you are not superhuman. Sometimes, the baby or toddler has to wait.

These ideas may help:

• talk to your older child about the new baby during pregnancy and about who is going to look after him when you have the baby.

• giving him a present from the baby may help make him feel special.

• teach your toddler how to cuddle, touch and talk to the baby safely while you watch them. Toddlers and older children are interested in touching the new baby and need to be taught how to gently handle a new baby, and to be praised for doing so.

• your older child needs to feel loved and special. Talking with him about how he is feeling and telling him you love him may help.

• friends and family may like to give your older child some special time, especially if he is feeling everyone is interested in the baby.

• accept offers of help from trusted friends or family. They may enjoy taking your older child for a while so you can rest or spend time with the baby. They may look after the baby so that you can spend time with your older child.

• trying to include your older child in the baby’s care. He will enjoy fetching nappies and toys for the baby. Talk to him about what you are doing.

• when you are feeding the baby, have books or games ready for your older child. He may enjoy hearing a story or playing quietly next to you.

• trying to spend time alone with your older child.

• your older child may become more demanding or go back to old behaviours. For example, he may start wetting his pants. This is normal. Try not to get upset with him. It will pass as he gets used to the new changes.

• your older child may take out his anger or jealousy on you to get your attention.

• Try to be patient, and talk to him about how he is feeling.

• keep as many of your normal activities as possible when you feel up to it, e.g. going out to the park or play group together.

For more information, visit .nz

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