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PEOPLE SMART
A STORY BASED SOCIAL SKILLS DEVELOPMENT PROGRAM FOR THE GENERAL EDUCATION CLASSROOM
(Grades 3 – 4)
JOHN M. SEAMAN, PH.D.
SCHOOL PSYCHOLOGIST, RETIRED
Comments and suggestions welcome at
jkseaman365@
TABLE OF CONTENTS
LESSON TITLE PAGE
RELATIONSHIP SKILLS
1 INTRODUCTION AND LISTENING IN THE CLASSROOM 8
2 MAKING A FRIEND 16
3 GREETING 26
4 KEEPING A CONVERSATION GOING 36
5 JOINING A CONVERSATION 42
6 JOINING A GAME 50
7 SHARING 59
8 SHARING ADVICE 71
9 POLITE WORDS 82
10 EXPRESSING GRATITUDE 93
11 COMPLIMENTING 101
12 EXPRESSING SYMPATHY 110
COPING SKILLS
13 RELAXING WHEN UPSET 119
14 EXPRESSING ANGER APPROPRIATELY 128
15 WHEN SOMEONE SAYS YOU CAN’T PLAY 138
16 RESPONDING TO TEASING 146
17 WHEN A FRIEND IS TEASED 156
18 ASKING FOR HELP 165
19 MAKING A COMPLAINT 174
20 WHEN SOMEONE BREAKS THE RULES OF A GAME 184
21 RESPONDING TO A REPRIMAND 193
22 APOLOGIZING 201
23 WHEN A FRIEND ASKS YOU TO GET INTO TROUBLE 211
APPENDIX – SKILL DEFINITIONS (IN APHABETICAL ORDER) 219
INTRODUCTION
People Smart is the result of the author’s twenty-five year effort to provide social skills instruction to the elementary classroom as part of a larger preventive guidance approach. This is considered to be a work in progress and not a completed program. This draft may contain typographical errors and surely is in need of further revision. Nonetheless, it is hoped that it may be of value to colleagues and more importantly students. Comments and suggestions for improvement are very welcome and needed. Please contact the author with feedback.
INSTRUCTIONAL METHODOLOGY
People Smart adopts a direct instruction methodology . Direct instruction refers to an active teaching process with fast paced teacher-student interaction. A skill is broken into its teachable components, the skill is modeled, there is ample opportunity for student responding/practice, error correction is immediate and motivational strategies are often employed. Both teacher and students are active participants in the instructional process.
Most sessions of People Smart are similar in structure. The session starts with a review of the skill taught in the previous session as well as student role plays related to a homework assignment. A new skill is then introduced by a story designed to capture attention and provide a context for the new skill. Typically, the story describes a character beset by a problem that requires a specific social skill. Questions are provided to facilitate discussion of the story.
Following the story and discussion, students are asked to "brainstorm" solutions for the story character. This strategy is used to elicit student involvement and provide student "ownership" or endorsement of the skill to be taught. The instructor then summarizes the student suggestions into a skill definition that is shown on a poster. Choral reading of the poster is used to rehearse the skill definition. This definition is the basis for role played demonstrations that follow. The instructor also asks students to discriminate role played examples from nonexamples of skill use. Volunteer students then role play the skill with feedback provided by the instructor and classmates. A description of a homework assignment concludes the session.
Optional activities include whole class role plays in which the students practice the skill in small groups and a cooperative learning activity in which students, in a group, formulate a story ending using the specific skill. Finally, a story starter is provided at the end of each session. Students can complete this activity between sessions to reinforce memory for the skill.
This model can be used to teach social skills not contained in the People Smart Program.
TEACHING CHARACTERISTICS THAT PROMOTE SUCCESS
A variety of teacher instructional behaviors have been related to classroom behavior and learning outcomes. Use of these instructional methods will promote success of the program. Below are descriptions of these teaching behaviors.
INSTRUCTOR ENTHUSIASM
It is important that the instructor display enthusiasm, interest and communicate the importance of skills being taught. Enthusiasm is best communicated by tone of voice as well as sharing brief personal experiences of skill use.
ORGANIZATION
The instructor should be sufficiently familiar with the sequence of tasks in a session to move efficiently from one activity to another. Delays and long transitions invite off task behavior and negatively affect the instructor's credibility.
GAINING AND MAINTAINING STUDENT ATTENTION
It is imperative that student attention be gained before beginning a session. Likewise, it is essential that student attention be maintained throughout the session. Avoid making repeated requests for attention and talking above background noise. A single request for attention made in a firm voice with eye contact with the class is often helpful. Maintain eye contact and wait for attention to be provided. Should students lose attention, stop until attention is regained.
It is also helpful to instruct students in a routine that prompts attention. A routine requires use of a stimulus such as a phrase or signal to which students are instructed to immediately direct attention to the instructor. Session one of the program establishes a routine. Students are taught to listen at the request of "Show me good listening."
CLEAR, UNDERSTANDABLE INSTRUCTIONS/DIRECTIONS
Student involvement depends upon clear, unambiguous communication. Instructions should be worded positively and in clear, concise language. It is often helpful to provide a concrete example. Avoid use of multiple requests, vague language and rambling.
FAST PACING
As with all direct instruction, pacing should be rapid and efficient.
USE OF CHANGE-UPS
An interesting instructor elicits more attention than a dull instructor. Change-ups refer to instructor behaviors that prompt attention of students. These consist of movement about the class, making eye contact at a random and variable rate with individual students, changes in tone and volume of voice, changes in facial expression, use of hand movements and gestures as well as use of humor.
FREQUENT STUDENT RESPONDING
The program invites student responding at a high rate. Student responding is prompted by story discussion questions, role plays, opinion polls, composition of story endings and other activities. Lecture is held to a minimum.
POSITIVE QUESTIONING
Positive questioning refers to how a question is framed. The question is asked of the entire class. The instructor then pauses while making eye contact with all students. A specific student is then called upon. In this way, all students are expected to derive a response to a question with feedback following the response of an individual student.
RANDOM QUESTIONING
At times it is helpful to call on students in a random manner so that each student in the class has an equal opportunity of being asked to respond. This can be done by writing student names on popsicle sticks that are placed in a jar. Sticks are randomly picked to determine a respondent.
REPETITION
Repetition is one way of transferring information from short term memory to long term memory. While repetition is built into the instructional program, it is important that the instructor supplement by reviewing and rehearsing regularly.
PRAISE AND RECOGNITION OF APPROPRIATE RESPONSES
Praise can strengthen appropriate behavior and student involvement. It is important that praise be delivered immediately following a desired response, that it describe the behavior, and that an enthusiastic voice be employed.
POSITIVE ERROR CORRECTION
Correction of inappropriate responses should consist of a clear statement of the appropriate response with an immediate opportunity for the student to make the correct response. Emphasis is placed on the correct response rather than the incorrect response.
GENERALIZATION
Generalization refers to the use of taught skills in the natural environment. If students do not employ skills taught, the value of instructional time is held in question. Lack of generalization is seen as a major threat to the efficacy of social skills instructional programs with at risk populations.
People Smart seeks to promote generalization of skills by four methods: 1.) formal homework assignments requiring practice of the skill in the natural environment; 2.) use of examples and situations that approximate student experiences in their social environments; 3.) peer involvement (i.e., sanctioning) in defining and describing social skills presented; 4.) cognitive rehearsal of the skill by completion of story starters between sessions.
Each session concludes with a homework assignment to employ the skill taught. The skill is reviewed at the outset of the next session. Randomly selected students are asked to describe how the skill was employed to complete the homework assignment. Role plays are also employed at this time. Randomly selected students who comply with homework requests are provided a reward (e.g., treats) at the end of the session.
Role plays are used to model use of the skill as well as provide practice. Situations for role plays are provided by students and also suggested in the curriculum. Attempts are made to match situations with those encountered by students in their daily lives.
While a formal definition of each skill is provided by the program, students are requested to brainstorm and derive a definition or description of skill use. In this way, students become involved in describing the skill and endorsing its use as "student approved." The formal definition provided by the program is described to students as a summary of their descriptions.
The written completion of story starters between sessions permits the student to rehearse the skill and use it in a cognitive problem solving situation. It is hoped that such practice makes the skill more readily retrievable for use in real life situations.
Users of People Smart may wish to use other methods to promote generalization. These might include home notes to parents describing the skill taught, staging opportunities to use a skill in the school setting and prompts by teachers and parents to encourage use of a specific skill. Posters providing skill definitions are found at the end of the program. These might be photocopied for distribution to parents, teachers and the students themselves in an effort to promote generalization and use of skills.
PRESENTATION TO EXCEPTIONAL POPULATIONS
As indicated above, People Smart was designed and written for presentation in regular classroom settings to regular education students. It is felt that this population is able to apply and adapt the skills readily to their social environments. At risk and special education students will likely require greater assistance in transferring the skills into their social environments. As a result, use of the program with such populations requires greater efforts to generalize skills.
Students with language or cognitive deficits may also be challenged by some aspects of the program. For instance, such students may experience difficulty with the story writing activities, comprehension of introductory stories or brainstorming activities. As a result, adjustments may be required for these students.
The program can readily be used with regular education students in small group settings. Pairing at risk or special education students with regular education students in small group settings may be helpful.
PART ONE
RELATIONSHIP BUILDING SKILLS
LESSON ONE
INTRODUCTION TO PROGRAM
AND LISTENING IN THE CLASSROOM
LESSON OVERVIEW
PURPOSE: To provide students a definition for social skills and define the skill of listening in the classroom.
DEFINITION - SOCIAL SKILLS:
Social skills are what we do to make friends, get along with others and solve problems.
DEFINITION - LISTENING IN THE CLASSROOM:
Listening in class means to look at the teacher and sit still.
INSTRUCTIONAL SEQUENCE:
Describe program.
Student brainstorming - what you like about a friend.
Define social skills.
Introduce first skill - listening in the classroom.
Introductory story.
Story discussion questions.
Student brainstorming - how a teacher knows you're listening.
Skill definition - listening in the classroom.
Model skill and demonstrate examples and nonexamples.
Discrimination training - student modeled examples and nonexamples.
Rationales generated by students for listening.
Classwide role play.
Teach routine - response to cue "show me good listening."
Homework and classwide contracting.
SESSION LENGTH: Approximately 40 minutes
LESSON ONE
INTRODUCTION TO PROGRAM
AND LISTENING IN THE CLASSROOM
DESCRIBE PROGRAM
Explain to students that in the coming weeks, you will be presenting lessons on how to make friends, get along with others and solve problems. Identify the class as social skills.
Write the term social skills at the top of the board.
STUDENT BRAINSTORMING - WHAT YOU LIKE ABOUT A FRIEND
Ask students to describe what they like about a friend. It may be necessary to provide a couple of examples (e.g., makes me laugh, always says hello). Record responses on the board under the term social skills.
Indicate to students that many of the descriptions written on the board are social skills. People who use these skill are smart – they’re people smart.
DEFINE SOCIAL SKILLS
Write the following definition on the board.
Social skills are what we do to make friends, get along with others and solve problems
INTRODUCE FIRST SKILL - LISTENING IN THE CLASSROOM
Describe that the first skill to be learned, listening in the classroom, is important for the rest of the sessions.
LISTENING IN THE CLASSROOM
INTRODUCTORY STORY:
Read the following story. Indicate to students that questions will be asked after the story is completed.
DAVE'S EMBARRASSING DAY
Dave dashed into the classroom, perspiration dripping from his face. He was still excited about beating Alex, a good friend, in a basketball game at recess. Dave headed for the drinking fountain at the back of the class and guzzled down several mouthfuls of water. He then walked to his desk and flopped into his seat, feeling exhausted but pleased with his victory on the playground.
Dave was suddenly struck by a brilliant idea. He took out a piece of paper and began drawing a picture of himself beating Alex in a basketball game. He intended to secretly pass the picture to Alex.
While Dave was drawing, Mrs. Rodriquez, his teacher, moved to the front of the classroom. In a firm voice she stated, "Boys and girls, please listen carefully. I'm going to explain some important steps in multiplication at the board. You will need to listen so you will learn how to do this."
Dave continued to draw, completely unaware of his teacher's instruction. After creating an image of himself shooting a three pointer over Alex, Dave decided he would add a few sentences describing the action in his picture. Dave couldn't wait to pass the note to his friend.
Meanwhile, Mrs. Rodriquez continued her instruction at the whiteboard. Occasionally she stopped to ask if students understood, or to ask questions.
Dave finished his last sentence which read, "Dave rules the basketball court!" He was inspecting his work with pride when he heard his name called.
"Dave, please come up to the board and show us how you would complete this problem," requested Mrs. Rodriquez.
Horror filled Dave as he looked at the board. He had no idea what Mrs. Rodriquez was asking him to do.
STORY DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:
1. How does Dave feel right now?
ANSWER: embarrassed, anxious, confused, afraid
2. What might happen next?
ANSWER: He won't know what to do.
Dave will be "in trouble" with Mrs. Rodriquez.
Mrs. Rodriquez will be upset because Dave doesn't know what to do.
3. What should Dave have been doing?
ANSWER: Listening.
4. What is the worst consequence of not listening?
ANSWER: Won't learn.
Don't know what to do.
Don't know how to do it.
STUDENT BRAINSTORMING - HOW A TEACHER KNOWS YOU'RE LISTENING
Ask students to identify how a teacher knows if a student is listening. Prompt responses by asking what a student who is listening does or looks like.
Record responses on the board.
SKILL DEFINITION - LISTENING IN THE CLASSROOM
Acknowledge that student responses on the board describe listening well. Suggest that the list can be summarized into the following definition. Write definition on the board.
Listening in class means to look at the teacher and sit still.
MODEL SKILL AND DEMONSTRATE EXAMPLES AND NONEXAMPLES
Select student volunteers to play the role of a teacher while you play the role of a student seated at a desk. Students read a story, provided below, as if a teacher.
Explain that in the first role play you will provide a good example of listening. After completing the role play, ask students to describe what you did that showed you were listening.
Describe that in the next role plays, you will either listen well or not listen. Ask students to be prepared to provide a grade for how well you listen. Mix examples of good listening with examples of poor listening. Examples of poor listening might involve looking about, tapping a pencil, moving in seat, drawing, talking, etc. After each role play call on students to provide a grade. Discuss.
Student interest in this activity is greatly enhanced when students can provide a grade for the instructor’s performance of listening.
STORY:
Oscar was glad he didn’t have to go into the old house down by the railroad tracks. Everyone knew that not only large spiders and enormous beetles lived there, but also a ghost. Since his death a hundred years ago, Jacob Smith’s ghost haunted the rooms of the ugly grey building. Folks who lived in town a long time even said that in the dark hours of the night, screams could be heard from within.
Oscar was worried for the safety of his good friend, Stan Adams. Stan had bravely stated that he would enter the gloomy house tomorrow. Oscar knew Stan was smart. In fact he was a straight A student at school and even won the school spelling bee. But Oscar didn't think Stan was very smart about accepting a dare from some friends to go into the ugly old house. Even if there wasn't a ghost, the place looked like it could cave in at any moment.
Oscar intended to somehow keep his friend out of danger and out of that house. Oscar lay awake much of last night trying to think of some way to save Stan. He considered asking the boys who dared Stan to take the dare back. Oscar decided that wouldn't work, however, since most of those boys didn't seem to like Stan and wouldn't listen to him.
Oscar knew that his final solution might get him in trouble with Stan. However, it must be done to save Stan from the dangers that awaited him inside the haunted gray house. He would tell Stan's parents about the dare. They would stop Stan and, somehow, Stan would forgive him for telling.
DISCRIMINATION TRAINING - STUDENT MODELED EXAMPLES AND NONEXAMPLES
Privately (use a whisper in the ear) instruct a volunteer student to demonstrate either good or poor listening while you play the role of a teacher providing instruction at the front of the class. It is important that the volunteer role player understand how he/she will act out the behavior. Non-listening responses should range from obvious to subtle. Ask students to observe the student carefully and decide if the role play is an example or non-example of listening and why. Continue recruiting volunteers until several examples and non-examples of listening are demonstrated. Poor listening might consist of not making eye contact, playing with an object, talking with a neighbor, laying head on the desk, tying a shoe, drawing or even just passively staring, etc.
POSSIBLE TOPICS:
Description of a local geographical landmark.
Description of a political figure.
Description of the water cycle.
Description of a significant personal experience.
Instruction of a math computation process.
History of an important person or place.
RATIONALES GENERATED BY STUDENTS FOR LISTENING
Ask students to describe rationales for listening in class. Record responses on the board.
POSSIBLE RATIONALES:
Learn.
Hear better.
Get a good grade.
Teacher knows you are listening.
Teacher knows you care.
Don't disturb others.
Know what you are supposed to do.
Know how you are supposed to do it.
Describe learning as the most important reason for listening.
CLASSWIDE ROLE PLAY
Present a five minute presentation on a particular topic. Sample topics are listed below. Instruct students to practice good listening during the presentation. Observe listening skills of students and afterward provide corrective feedback. In this activity the class only displays appropriate listening.
POSSIBLE TOPICS:
Description of a local geographical landmark.
Description of a political figure.
Description of the water cycle.
Description of a significant personal experience.
Instruction of a math computation process.
History of an important person or place.
TEACH ROUTINE - RESPONSE TO CUE "SHOW ME GOOD LISTENING"
Instruct students that in future sessions you will use the term, "Show me good listening." Indicate that at this cue, students are to immediately demonstrate listening by looking at the teacher and sitting still.
Practice routine by stating cue while students role play involvement in a number of nonlistening activities such as writing, reading from a text, or talking with a neighboring student.
HOMEWORK AND CLASSWIDE CONTRACTING
Describe to students that homework is to listen well in class by looking at the teacher and sitting still.
Indicate to students that their classroom teacher will randomly provide a slip of paper to those caught listening prior to the next session. Instruct students to write their name on the slip and place in a jar to be provided by their teacher. At the outset of the next session, the names of three students will be drawn. These students will earn a surprise reward.
Posters with the definition of social skills and listening in the classroom can be found in Appendix A. Place the posters in a prominent location in the classroom
LESSON TWO
MAKING A FRIEND
SESSION OVERVIEW
PURPOSE: To provide students the skills to appropriately start a conversation with an unfamiliar agemate and make a new friend.
SKILL DEFINITION:
MAKING A FRIEND
1. Look friendly.
Make eye contact.
Smile.
Use a happy voice.
2. Say, "Hi."
3. Say your name.
4. Ask the person's name.
5. Ask questions.
6. Invite to play.
INSTRUCTIONAL SEQUENCE:
Review content of previous session
Drawing for homework winners
Introductory story
Story discussion questions
Student brainstorming - how to make a friend
Skill definition - making a friend
Model skill and demonstrate examples and nonexamples
Rationales generated by students to support the skill
Student role plays
Classwide role plays (optional)
Cooperative learning activity (optional)
Classwide contracting
Review exercise to be completed before next session (optional)
SESSION LENGTH: Approximately 30 - 50 minutes.
LESSON TWO
MAKING A FRIEND
REVIEW CONTENT OF PREVIOUS SESSION
Briefly describe the story, Dave's Embarrassing Day, from the previous session. Ask students to describe the skill taught during Session One and its definition.
SKILL DEFINITION:
Listening in class means to look at the teacher and sit still.
DRAWING FOR HOMEWORK WINNERS
Conduct a drawing of students who exhibited good listening since the last session. After each name is drawn, write the name on the board and ask the student what he or she did to listen well in class. Also, ask what good consequences occurred as a result. Continue until at least three names are drawn. Emphasize that learning is the best consequence of listening. Surprise rewards such as a sucker are delivered at the end of the session.
INTRODUCTORY STORY:
Read the following story. Indicate to students that questions will be asked after the story is completed.
AMY'S UNHAPPY ADVENTURE
Several months ago Amy's parents announced that her family was moving to Jonesboro, a town many miles from her home in Ashland Heights. At the time, Amy was excited about the move. It would be an adventure to see a new town, go to a new school and make new friends. She remembered that she could hardly wait to tell her friends about the move. That was several months ago. Today, the adventure ended when it was time to attend a new school.
Amy slowly walked behind her parents as they climbed the steps of Jonesboro Elementary and entered through a large wooden door. Amy left the warmth of the morning sun to feel the cool air within. The building was old. Amy noticed the brightly polished wooden floor. It creaked beneath her feet as she walked. The noise of a class in the gym echoed through the halls. As she passed a classroom, Amy paused to peer through the window of the wooden door. She saw a stern faced teacher facing a class of what looked like fifth graders. "She looks mean." thought Amy. This building was nothing like Ashland Heights Elementary, the only school Amy had ever attended.
"Mom, I don't feel very good," stated Amy in a weak voice. "I think I'm going to get sick."
"Amy, you'll be fine once you meet your teacher and the nice boys and girls in your class," declared Amy's mother with confidence. "This looks like a fine school."
"We'll be excited to hear all about your first day at Jonesboro Elementary," added her father with a smile.
Amy and her parents walked down a long hall to a glass enclosed office. A secretary with gray hair and large black glasses greeted them. After Amy's parents completed several forms, the secretary explained it was time to meet Amy's teacher.
"Mom, I'm really feeling sick," protested Amy.
The secretary peered down at Amy with a surprised look. "Why Amy, you'll love our school once you get to know your teacher and the boys and girls in your class."
"Amy, we need to be going now," stated Amy's mother in a kind voice. "You be good and have fun with your new classmates."
Amy's parents each gave her a big hug. Amy wanted to run after them as they walked down the hall to the large front door. However, the firm hand of the secretary directed Amy to her new class.
Amy's heart throbbed as she stood outside Room 106. The secretary had entered the room to speak with Mrs. Standing, Amy's new teacher. In a moment the door swung open and Mrs. Standing greeted Amy with a huge smile. "Amy, I'm so glad to have you in our class. Come in and meet your classmates."
Amy timidly walked into the classroom. She could feel the eyes of every student study her. She looked at the floor as her teacher introduced her. Amy was glad to be assigned a seat in the back of the classroom. A girl seated next to Amy smiled and asked if she could play with her at recess. Amy shrugged her shoulders and looked away.
Time moved slowly. Amy completed a math test Mrs. Standing placed on her desk. The work seemed easy to Amy, who loved math. Finally, in what seemed to be hours, the clock inched toward 10:30 A.M. and recess. When the bell rang, students excitedly filed out of the classroom. Amy reluctantly followed her classmates down the hall. Unfamiliar faces were everywhere. She slowly moved onto the playground where she saw yet more unfamiliar faces. Two boys began playing tag around her. Amy moved out of their way. She then made eye contact with a girl in her class, but quickly looked down and walked away. Amy had never felt so lonely, so sad, so completely lost.
Amy's eyes began to swell with tears and a lump grew in her throat. She knew for sure she would never like this school or this horrible town her parents moved her to. Amy wanted to hide, to run away, to go anywhere but this awful place.
STORY DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:
1. How does Amy feel?
ANSWER: Lonely, sad
2. Have you ever felt lonely because you didn't know anyone? Please describe.
ANSWER: Accept any reasonable response.
3. What could Amy do to feel less lonely?
ANSWER: Make a new friend.
4. What have you done when you don't know anyone?
ANSWER: Accept any reasonable response.
STUDENT BRAINSTORMING - HOW TO MAKE A FRIEND
Indicate that Amy, the character in the story, would feel more comfortable by making friends. Ask students to identify what Amy should do to make a new friend. Prompt responses by asking students to describe appropriate facial expression, voice, posture and what Amy might say or do to make a friend. Write responses on the board.
SKILL DEFINITION - MAKING A FRIEND
Summarize student responses into the following six step solution. Show poster found in appendix A.
1. Look friendly.
Make eye contact.
Smile.
Use a happy voice.
2. Say, "Hi."
3. Say your name.
4. Ask the person's name.
5. Ask questions.
6. Invite to play.
Ask students to identify questions that could be asked. Indicate that the purpose of asking questions is to get to know the person. Write responses on the board.
EXAMPLES:
How old are you?
What class are you in?
What do you like to do at recess?
What’s your favorite game?
How many brothers and sisters do you have?
Where do you live?
Do you have any pets?
Chorally read poster as instructor points to each step.
MODEL SKILL AND DEMONSTRATE EXAMPLES AND NONEXAMPLES
Instruct students that you will show how the skill might be used. Indicate that after each example you will ask students what you did correctly or well. Demonstrate two or three examples, employing volunteer students. In the first example, use the situation provided in the story. In subsequent examples, use situations provided by students from responses to question number two of the story discussion questions. After each example display the poster. Point out each skill step on the poster and ask if each was used in the role play.
Indicate to students that you will now role play examples that may contain errors. Instruct students to be prepared to provide a grade for each role play and justification for the grade. With volunteer students, randomly role play examples and nonexamples of the skill. Nonexamples might involve omission of skill steps such as failure to appear friendly or failure to ask questions.
STUDENT ROLE PLAYS
Ask volunteer students to come to the front of the class and demonstrate the skill of making a new friend. Use situations provided by students or those that follow. Instruct students to observe, provide applause after each role play and offer corrective feedback. After each role play show the poster and review the six steps to determine if each was present in the role play.
SITUATIONS:
It is the first day of school. You get on the bus and don't recognize anyone. You sit down next to a boy or girl you don't know. You feel a little lost.
A new boy or girl has moved into the house next door. You see this person standing in his/her front yard. You'd like to get to know the new neighbor.
You have just gotten your lunch tray and try to find an empty seat in a crowded lunch room. You see a seat across from a student you don't recognize. The person looks friendly and you decide to sit down and make a new friend.
You are playing basketball at the park. A boy you don't recognize starts shooting at a basket next to yours.
You are invited to a friend’s birthday party. You don’t recognize anyone other than the boy who invited you. You decide to make a new friend.
CLASSWIDE ROLE PLAYS (OPTIONAL):
Classwide role plays might be done as part of an expanded session or done in a future session devoted to reviewing two or more skills. This activity involves breaking the class into groups of three students. Each group practices how to solve a problem by role playing the skill of making a new friend. This activity requires a great deal of structure and guidance but is often quite effective as well as enjoyable to students. Following are steps involved in the activity.
Teach a signal to which the class freezes. This might involve a rhythmic clap of hands that is easily recognized or the sound of a bell. Practice this routine until students are reliable about assuming the freezing and ready to listen posture.
Write A, B and C in vertical fashion on the board.
Break the class into groups of three. In so doing, assign each student in a group an identifying letter of A, B, or C. Send each group to a specific area of the classroom where they wait for further instructions.
Indicate to the students that they are going to act out role plays in their groups. Use the situations provided above, or those described by students, as material. In the first role play, student A makes a friend with student B. Student C, an observer, is assigned to watch, listen, provide a grade and give feedback and suggestions. On the board write “make a friend” next the letter A, “new friend” next to the letter B, and “observer” next to the letter C. The instructor circulates to monitor and provide corrective feedback.
After groups complete a role play, give the signal for the class to freeze. Describe effective and positive role plays observed.
Describe a new role play situation. Rotate assignments across students A, B, and C so that, in time, each of the three students is able to play the role of making a friend, being a new friend and serving as an observer. With each new role play, write the role (e.g, make a friend or observer) of each character, A, B and C, on the board.
COOPERATIVE LEARNING ACTIVITY (OPTIONAL):
This instructional activity is lengthy and can be used in an expanded session or in a separate review session. Working cooperatively, three students write an ending for a story. Four story starters can be found in Appendix B. Each story poses a problem that is best solved by making a new friend. The students cooperate in composing the story ending as well as organizing a role play to demonstrate their solution to the class. This is a lengthy activity that usually consumes much of the time in a session. The activity engages the students both in using the specific skill being practiced as well as social skills required to assist the group. Great care is needed to maintain order and the flow of activities. The instructor must also be active in monitoring and assisting groups as necessary. Following is an outline of steps.
Describe the activity to the class. Indicate that the class will be divided into groups of three students. One student will first read a brief story to the group. The story does not have an ending. The group is to write an ending to the story and then role play their story to the class.
Divide the class into groups of three students. Identify students in each group as student A, student B and student C. Instruct the students to move their desks together so that they face each other.
Distribute a different story starter activity sheet (one sheet) to each group. Four unique story starter activity sheets for making a friend can be found in Appendix B. In classes with more than 12 students, multiple groups will have a story starter sheet that is the same in content.
Announce to the class that student A is to now read the story starter to his/her group.
After the story starter is read in each group, announce that the groups are to talk about possible endings to the story. Indicate that four minutes will be provided to complete this task. Also indicate that no writing is required thus far.
Show the poster to the students and display it at the front of the classroom. Instruct the groups that they now have five minutes to talk about the actual steps the character in the story must take to solve the problem of making a new friend. Indicate that no writing is yet required.
Instruct the groups that they are now to complete the story. Indicate that the story endings should be interesting to read and not just a recopy of the skill steps found in the poster. Student B is assigned to write the story ending on the activity sheet. Each of the three students combine their ideas. Provide about 7 minutes for this part of the activity.
Provide the groups five or six minutes to discuss and practice how they will role play their story to the class. Student C is assigned the task of assigning parts. In some stories it may not be necessary to have all three students involved in the role play.
Have groups volunteer to read their stories and present a role play at the front of the classroom. Student C reads the story followed by completion of the role play.
Request applause after each completed role play.
CLASSWIDE CONTRACTING:
Instruct the students to make a new friend the people smart way prior to the next session.
Ask the students to identify a location with hundreds of boys and girls, many of whom could be new friends. Reinforce that such a situation is school.
Request each student to write his/her name of a small slip of paper. Deposit slips in a jar. The names in a jar will be used in future sessions. Describe that at the outset of the next session, the names of three students will be randomly selected from the jar. If a selected student is able to describe making a new friend and perform a role play, he/she will earn a surprise reward.
Place the poster in a prominent location in the classroom.
Provide rewards, such as candy or school implements, to winners identified at the start of the session.
WRITING ACTIVITY TO BE COMPLETED BEFORE NEXT SESSION (OPTIONAL):
Review the skill of making a friend at some point prior to the next session. Ask students to write an ending to the story starter provided on the following page. Instruct students that the ending should describe the main character, Jake, making a friend the people smart way.
STORY WRITING ACTIVITY
DIRECTIONS: Please write an ending to the following story. Describe how Jake can make a friend the people smart way.
SOCCER BUDDIES
Jake is alone at the park as he kicks his soccer ball up and down the soccer field. He would love to play with someone else. Suddenly, Jake sees a boy walking by the soccer field. He decides to make a new friend. First, Jake ....
LESSON THREE
GREETING
LESSON OVERVIEW
PURPOSE: To provide students the skill to greet an acquaintance and start a conversation.
DEFINITION OF GREETING: Greeting is saying hello to someone you know.
SKILL DEFINITION:
GREETING
1. Look friendly:
Make eye contact.
Smile.
Use a friendly voice.
2. Say, "Hi."
3. Say the person's name.
4. Ask a question.
INSTRUCTIONAL SEQUENCE:
Review content of previous session
Drawing for homework winners
Introductory story
Story discussion questions
Skill definition - greeting
Teach and rehearse skill definition by direct instruction
Expand step four - ask a question
Model skill and demonstrate examples and nonexamples
Student role plays
Classwide role plays (optional)
Cooperative learning activity (optional)
Classwide contracting
Review exercise to be completed before next session (optional)
SESSION LENGTH: Approximately 30 – 50 minutes
LESSON THREE
GREETING
REVIEW CONTENT OF PREVIOUS SESSION
Briefly describe the story, Amy's Unhappy Adventure, from the previous session. Ask students to describe the skill taught during Session Two and its definition.
SKILL TAUGHT:
MAKING A FRIEND
1. Look friendly
Eye contact, smile, friendly voice.
2. Say, "Hi."
3. Say your name.
4. Ask the person's name.
5. Ask questions.
6. Invite.
DRAWING FOR HOMEWORK WINNERS
Request that a student who is listening effectively, as described in Lesson One, draw from the jar containing student names. The selected student is asked to identify if he/she has been people smart by making a new friend. If the student is able to describe making a new friend and complete a role play with a volunteer student, he/she wins a surprise reward at the end of the session. Provide corrective feedback. Continue until at least three winners are found.
INTRODUCTORY STORY
Read the following story. Indicate to students that questions will be asked after the story is completed.
HIDING IN THE DAIRY SECTION
Alex Fernandez covered his eyes from the blinding sun as his mother pulled into a parking space in front of Grovers Discount Groceries.
"Alex, here is a list of groceries I need you to buy at Grovers. Take this fifty dollar bill and don't forget to buy the chunked pineapple. I need it for the salad tonight."
Alex pulled down the sun visor and then took the list from his mother's hand.
"Wow, this is lot of stuff. It'll take hours!" complained Alex with emotion.
"Don't exaggerate Alex. It won't take hours. Besides, with the appetite you and your brother have, we keep Grovers in business."
"Can I buy some candy bars?" implored Alex with a smile.
"Yes, but just one," stated Mrs. Fernandez. "I'm going to drive downtown to drop some shoes off at the shoe repair store. I'll be back in about 40 minutes to help."
"How about a new baseball cap?" asked Alex, a twinkle in his eye.
"Sorry Alex. Just stick to the items on the list."
Alex waved goodbye to his mom and headed toward the entrance of Grovers. He studied the list as he walked.
"All right! Mom put down all the right cereals," he said to himself.
Alex managed to free a cart that was stuck in a row of other shopping carts and headed down the aisle containing canned goods.
"I'd better get the pineapple first. Mom will have a cow if I forget."
In several minutes Alex approached the bakery in search of dinner rolls. Ahead he saw Mr. Donaldson, his English teacher, inspecting boxes of donuts. Alex hesitated and decided to turn and head for the dairy section. He wasn't sure what to say to Mr. Donaldson. Besides, Mr. Donaldson had given him only a C on his latest book report.
The load was considerably heavier after Alex placed three gallons of milk and a large tub of margarine in the bottom of the cart. He strolled past the meat department and toward the produce aisle. Alex turned down the produce aisle and saw Mr. Donaldson again. His teacher was inspecting a cantaloupe by sniffing it. "Fussy, isn't he," thought Alex.
Alex skillfully made a U turn and headed out of the produce area. "Wow, I sure hope I don't see him again," thought Alex nervously.
Alex studied his list and determined it was time to make an important selection from the candy bar rack. He headed across the back aisle of the store and passed several intersecting aisles, keeping an eye out for Mr. Donaldson as he went. Finally, reaching the candy aisle, Alex carefully peeked around the corner to be sure Mr. Donaldson was not present. Relieved, he merrily pushed the wagon in front of what looked like an endless row of candy bars.
"I certainly deserve this after all the work I've done," Alex said to himself approvingly.
Alex finally settled upon a chocolate bar with nuts. As he reached for the largest one, a hand quickly removed the candy bar from the rack. With surprise, Alex looked up. Mr. Donaldson was staring at him with a smile.
Alex felt a twinge in his stomach as he struggled to find the right words.
STORY DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
1. Why did Alex avoid Mr. Donaldson in the bakery and again in the produce section of the store?
ANSWER: He didn't know what to say to Mr. Donaldson.
Mr. Donaldson had given him only a C on a book report.
2. How did Alex feel when he saw Mr. Donaldson in the bakery and the produce area?
ANSWER: Anxious, nervous, afraid.
3. Why is Alex unable to find the right words to say to Mr. Donaldson?
ANSWER: He's nervous and can't think clearly.
4. When Alex saw Mr. Donaldson in the bakery, he turned and left the area. What else could Alex have done?
ANSWER: Greet Mr. Donaldson
DEFINITION - ACQUAINTANCE
Write the following definition on the board.
An acquaintance is someone you know who is not a close friend.
Identify Mr. Donaldson, the character is the story, as an acquaintance of Alex.
Describe personal examples of acquaintances such as individuals with whom you work or an individual living in your neighborhood. Emphasize that the following are often characteristics of acquaintances:
1. You know their name.
2. They often know your name.
3. You have interacted with the person.
4. You know something about the person.
5. The person is not a close friend who you choose to spend a lot of time with.
SKILL DEFINITION - GREETING
Describe that in the story Alex should greet Mr. Donaldson.
Show the poster of Greeting and Acquaintance found in Apendix A. Review the following information.
Greeting is saying hello to someone you know.
Read the four steps to greeting contained on the poster.
1. Look friendly:
Make eye contact.
Smile.
Use a friendly voice.
2. Say, "Hi."
3. Say the person's name.
4. Ask a question that makes sense.
EXPAND STEP FOUR - ASK A QUESTION THAT MAKES SENSE
Indicate that sometimes people don't know what question to ask when greeting. Describe the following questions as often useful. Write questions on the board.
How are you?
What are you doing?
Explain that sometimes questions should relate to what the person you greet is doing, something important to the person or something you have done with the person. Discuss the examples that follow.
EXAMPLES:
1. Anne knows that Karen is hoping to buy a new computer game. Anne sees Karen on the playground and greets her.
QUESTION: "Did you buy a computer game, Karen?" or,
"What game will you buy, Karen?" or,
"Where are you going to buy your game, Karen?"
2. James is walking through the library and sees Kathy looking at a book. James greets Kathy.
QUESTION: "What are you reading, Kathy?"
Request students to identify questions for the situations below.
1. Yesterday, you played a baseball game with Jake. He hit a home run. You now see Jake walking toward you as you stand on your front lawn.
QUESTION:
That was a great hit yesterday. Are you still excited?
2. Kathy is wearing a cast on her arm. You sit across from her in the lunchroom.
QUESTION:
What happened to your arm?
3. Jake's dad just bought a new car. You sit down next to Jake on the bus.
QUESTION:
How do you like your new car?
4. You see your friend, Tamara, sitting on her front porch as you walk by her house. She is looking closely at a road map.
QUESTION:
Are you going somewhere?
MODEL SKILL AND DEMONSTRATE EXAMPLES AND NONEXAMPLES
Instruct students that you will show how the skill might be used. Indicate that after each example you will ask students what you did correctly or well. Demonstrate two or three examples, employing volunteer students. Use role play situations provided below or those suggested by students.
Indicate to students that you will now role play examples that may contain errors. Instruct students to be prepared to provide a grade for each role play and justification for the grade. With volunteer students, randomly role play examples and nonexamples of the skill. In nonexamples, make errors of omission by failing to look friendly, failing to ask a question, etc. Also, ask irrelevant questions at times in nonexamples.
SITUATIONS:
You see your teacher shopping in the bakery of a grocery store.
Your elderly neighbor, Mr. Jones, is walking his chihuahua in front of your
house.
You see a classmate looking at puppies in a pet shop.
You turn the aisle and see a friend walking toward you in a toy store.
Your friend comes in from the playground and is sweating and breathing heavily.
Your doorbell rings. You open the door to see a friend you haven't seen for a
year.
A classmate is carrying a large box as you pass him/her in the hall.
Your teacher has just passed back spelling tests. You look across the aisle to see
your friend smiling.
STUDENT ROLE PLAYS
Ask volunteer students to come to the front of the class and demonstrate the skill of greeting. Use situations provided by students or those described above. Instruct students to observe, provide applause after each role play and offer corrective feedback. After each role play review the four steps of the skill and determine if each was present in the role play.
CLASSWIDE ROLE PLAYS (OPTIONAL):
This is a lengthy, but highly valuable, activity that can be completed in an extended session or in a separate session in which a couple of previously taught skills are reviewed. A great deal of structure is required as student attention can easily be lost.
The activity involves breaking the class into groups of three students. Each group role plays greeting an acquaintance in various situations provided by the instructor.
Detailed instructions are provided in Lesson Two on page 21. Those directions can be adapted for the skill of greeting an acquaintance.
COOPERATIVE LEARNING ACTIVITY (OPTIONAL):
As with classwide role plays, this activity requires an extended session length or can be completed in a separate session. This is a valuable activity that requires not only review of the social skill being taught, but use of other social skills as students work together to accomplish a goal. Again a great deal of structure is needed to maintain student attention.
This activity involves students working in groups of three to complete a story starter activity found in Appendix B. After a story ending is written, each group is asked to read their story and provide a role play of the story content to the class.
Detailed instructions are provided in Lesson Two on page 22. Those directions can be adapted for the purpose of this lesson.
CLASSWIDE CONTRACTING
Instruct students to greet a friend, teacher or family member prior to the next session.
Describe that at the outset of the next session, the names of three students will be randomly selected from the jar containing names of class members. If a selected student is able to describe use of the greeting skill, and perform a role play, he/she will earn a surprise reward.
Provide rewards, such as candy or school implements, to winners identified at the start of the session.
A poster with the definition of greeting can be found in Appendix A. Place the poster in a prominent location in the classroom.
REVIEW EXERCISE TO BE COMPLETED BEFORE NEXT SESSION (OPTIONAL):
Review the skill of greeting at some point prior to the next session. Ask students to write an ending to the story starter provided on the following page. Instruct students that the ending should describe the main character using the greeting skill.
STORY WRITING ACTIVITY
DIRECTIONS: Please write an ending to the following story. Describe how Maria can greet her neighbor the people smart way.
DOG LOVERS
Maria was walking her dog, Sam. As she turned the corner she saw Mr. Gomez, a neighbor, walking toward her. Mr. Gomez was walking his poodle. Mr. Gomez stopped and smiled at Maria.
LESSON FOUR
KEEPING A CONVERSATION GOING
LESSON OVERVIEW
PURPOSE: To provide students the skills to maintain a conversation.
DEFINITION OF CONVERSATION: A conversation is when two or more people talk about something.
SKILL DEFINITION:
Take turns asking and answering questions.
Share the conversation time.
Talk about the same thing.
INSTRUCTIONAL SEQUENCE:
Review content of previous session
Drawing for homework winners
Introductory story
Story discussion questions
Definition – conversation
Discussion – when conversation aren’t fun
Skill definition - keeping a conversation going
Model skill and demonstrate examples and nonexamples
Student role plays
Classwide role plays (optional)
Cooperative learning activity (optional)
Classwide contracting
SESSION LENGTH: Approximately 30 – 50 minutes
LESSON FOUR
KEEPING A CONVERSATION GOING
REVIEW CONTENT OF PREVIOUS SESSION
Briefly describe the story, Hiding in the Dairy Section, from the previous session. Ask students to describe the skill taught during Session Three and its definition.
SKILL TAUGHT:
GREETING: Saying hello to someone you know.
Look friendly.
Say Hi.
Say person's name.
Ask a question that makes sense.
DRAWING FOR HOMEWORK WINNERS
Request that a student who is listening effectively, as described in Lesson One, draw from the jar containing student names. The selected student is asked to identify if he/she greeted someone since the previous session. If the student is able to describe greeting and complete a role play with a volunteer student, he/she wins a surprise reward at the end of the session. Provide corrective feedback. Continue until at least three winners are found.
INTRODUCTORY STORY
Read the following story. Indicate to students that questions will be asked after the story is completed.
LONELY IN THE LUNCH ROOM
Susan looked around the lunch room to find a friend. Carrying her tray full of spaghetti, corn bread and a giant chocolate chip cookie, she walked around rows of lunch room tables.
"They must be out on the playground already," Susan said to herself. "That's what you get for volunteering to help at the office during lunch."
Susan spotted a nearly empty table in the corner of the room. A girl, still finishing her lunch, sat alone at the table. "I'll visit with her," she thought. "She looks like she might be lonely over there."
"Hi," said Susan with a giant smile and a friendly voice. My name is Susan. What's your name?"
"Trisha," stated the girl in a quiet voice without looking up.
"So what grade are you in?" asked Susan in a curious voice.
"Third," stated Trisha.
"Oh, I'm in fourth grade," offered Susan.
Susan noticed that Trisha still did not look at her. Trisha's long brown hair nearly covered her face. Susan knew many of the third graders but did not recognize Trisha.
"Uh, who's your teacher?" asked Susan.
Trisha paused to finish chewing a mouthful of cornbread. She looked at Susan for a moment and said, "I'm in Mrs. Baxter's class." Trisha then looked down once again and scooped up a large spoonful of spaghetti.
"Oh," said Susan.
The two girls sat in silence finishing their lunches. With the passing minutes, Susan became more and more uncomfortable. She was used to talking, even giggling with her friends, at lunch. Finally, Susan left the table without saying goodbye and without finishing her lunch. After emptying her tray in the garbage, she ran to the playground looking for the familiar faces of her friends.
STORY DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
1. How did Susan feel while eating lunch with Trisha?
ANSWER: lonely, bored, uncomfortable, anxious, tense
2. What did Susan do to make a new friend?
ANSWER: Sat with Trisha, said Hi, said her name, asked Trisha questions.
3. Why didn't Susan invite Trisha to play and why didn't Susan say goodbye to Trisha?
ANSWER: Trisha didn't talk with her. Trisha was too quiet.
4. Why do you think Trisha was sitting alone in the lunchroom?
ANSWER: Accept any reasonable response.
Trisha does not seem friendly.
Trisha does not talk to friends.
5. Will Susan sit with Trisha again in the lunchroom?
ANSWER: Probably not.
DEFINITION - CONVERSATION
Write the word conversation on the board. Ask students to define the word.
Show the poster and read the definition for conversation.
A conversation is when two or more people talk about something.
Ask students to provide examples of conversations they've had recently.
Ask if Susan and Trisha, described in the story, had a conversation.
ANSWER: No, because Susan did almost all of the talking.
DISCUSSION – WHEN CONVERSATIONS AREN’T FUN
Ask students if they like having a conversation when:
someone doesn’t talk or say anything,
with “motor mouth” who talks all the time and too much.
SKILL DEFINITION - KEEPING A CONVERSATION GOING
Explain to students that keeping a conversation going requires three actions.
Show poster for Keeping a Conversation Going found in Appendix A. Read each item on the poster and make the points below.
1. Take turns asking and answering questions.
If someone asks you a question, answer and ask a question. Often you can ask the same question the person asked you.
2. Share the conversation time.
Everyone talks and listens. One person does not talk most of the time.
If someone has not talked for awhile, ask the person a question.
3. Talk about the same thing.
Talk and ask questions about what the other person is talking about. Don't change the subject.
While showing the poster, have students read the skill definition in chorus.
MODEL SKILL AND DEMONSTRATE EXAMPLES AND NONEXAMPLES
Indicate to students that you will model the skill a few times. Select volunteer students with strong verbal skills to assist in the modeling. Start by either using the greeting or making a new friend skill. Situations are provided below. Ask a student in the class to time each conversation and signal at the end of one minute. It may be necessary at times to whisper prompts to volunteer students to maintain the flow of the conversation. Move from modeling a conversation with one volunteer to a conversation with two or more volunteers.
Instruct students to observe if participants take turns asking and answering questions, if the conversation time is shared, and if both talk about the same thing.
After modeling examples, indicate to students that the next role plays may contain errors. Again, employ volunteer students. Ask students to closely observe your performance and provide a grade for each role play based on the three points cited above. Emphasize that the grade is awarded for your performance, not that of the volunteer student. Mix examples with nonexamples that involve not asking and answering questions, not sharing the conversation time and changing the subject.
SITUATIONS:
MAKING A FRIEND:
A new student in your class, who you have not met, sits across from you in the lunchroom.
You sit next to someone on the bus you don't know. The person is reading a book.
You are fishing and a boy or girl you don't know comes up and sits on the bank near you.
You approach the basketball court at the park and find a boy or girl you don't know shooting baskets.
GREETING AN ACQUAINTANCE:
You see a friend at the swimming pool.
You see a friend at a baseball game.
You are walking home with a friend at the start of a long weekend.
You see a friend Christmas shopping in a toy store.
STUDENT ROLE PLAYS
Enlist volunteer students to come to the front of the class to demonstrate the skill of keeping a conversation going. Indicate that if the volunteers get stuck, the class will assist with ideas about questions to ask or comments to make. Suggest one of the situations provided above or one suggested by a student. Ask for a student volunteer to time role plays with the goal of maintaining a conversation for at least a minute.
Request the class to provide applause at the end of each role play. Provide corrective feedback based on the skill definition. After each role play comment on the presence of the three skill components:
taking turns,
sharing,
talking about the same thing.
CLASSWIDE ROLE PLAYS (OPTIONAL):
This is a lengthy, but highly valuable, activity that can be completed in an extended session or in a separate session in which a couple of previously taught skills are reviewed. A great deal of structure is required as student attention can easily be lost.
The activity involves breaking the class into groups of three students. Each group role plays the skill of keeping a conversation going in various situations provided by the instructor.
Detailed instructions are provided in Lesson Two on page 21. Those directions can be adapted for the skill of keeping a conversation going.
COOPERATIVE LEARNING ACTIVITY (OPTIONAL):
As with classwide role plays, this activity requires an extended session length or can be completed in a separate session. This is a valuable activity that requires not only review of the social skill being taught, but use of other social skills as students work together to accomplish a goal. Again, a great deal of structure is needed to maintain student attention.
This activity involves students working in groups of three to complete a story starter activity found in Appendix B. After a story ending is written, each group is asked to read their story and provide a role play of the story content to the class.
Detailed instructions are provided in Lesson Two on page 22. Those directions can be adapted for the purpose of this lesson.
CLASSWIDE CONTRACTING
Instruct students to start a conversation and keep it going prior to the next session. Mention that the conversation can be started by either greeting an acquaintance or making a new friend.
Describe that at the outset of the next session, the names of three students will be randomly selected from the jar containing names of class members. If a selected student is able to describe using the skill of keeping a conversation going, and perform a role play, he/she will earn a surprise reward.
Provide rewards, such as candy or school implements, to winners identified at the start of the session.
A poster entitled Keeping a Conversation Going can be found in Appendix A. Place the poster in a prominent location in the classroom.
LESSON FIVE
JOINING A CONVERSATION
LESSON OVERVIEW
PURPOSE: To provide students an appropriate method to join a conversation in progress.
SKILL DEFINITION:
JOINING A CONVERSATION
1. Walk up close.
About an arms length away.
2. Listen.
3. Wait for a pause.
4. Greet.
5. Ask a question or make a comment that makes sense.
Talk about the same thing.
INSTRUCTIONAL SEQUENCE:
Review content of previous session
Drawing for homework winners
Introductory story
Story discussion questions
Student brainstorming - joining a conversation
Skill definition - joining a conversation
Elaboration of skill step five – asking a question that makes sense
Model skill and demonstrate examples and nonexamples
Student role plays
Classwide role plays (optional)
Cooperative learning activity (optional)
Classwide contracting
Review exercise to be completed before next session (optional)
SESSION LENGTH: Approximately 30 – 50 minutes
LESSON FIVE
JOINING A CONVERSATION
REVIEW CONTENT OF PREVIOUS SESSION
Briefly describe the story, (Lonely in the Lunch Room(, from the previous session. Ask students to describe the skill taught during Lesson Four and its definition.
SKILL TAUGHT:
KEEPING A CONVERSATION GOING
1. Take turns asking and answering questions.
2. Share the conversation time.
3. Talk about the same thing.
DRAWING FOR HOMEWORK WINNERS
Request that a student who is listening effectively, as described in Session One, draw from the jar containing student names. The selected student is asked to identify if he/she used the skill described to keep a conversation going. If the student is able to describe use of the skill and complete a role play with a volunteer student, he/she wins a surprise reward at the end of the session. Provide corrective feedback. Continue until at least three winners are found.
INTRODUCTORY STORY
Read the following story. Indicate to students that questions will be asked after the story is completed.
SNEAK ATTACK
Jake walked down the street, not sure where he was going. He had stopped at Mike and Andy's houses only to find them not home. He wanted greatly to find someone to play with this wonderful Saturday afternoon.
Jake kicked small stones as he rounded the corner of Maple and Oak Streets. With delight, he saw both Andy and Mike sitting under a tree in the park. Jake noticed the two were talking and laughing. "I must join their conversation," thought Jake.
Jake ducked behind a nearby maple tree and then quietly scampered behind a thick bush only 20 yards from his friends. To his relief, he decided he had not been observed. Jake's excitement rose as he heard the two boys talking about baseball cards. He could wait no longer to get their attention.
With a small stick, Jake dug a couple of dirt clods from the soil under the bush. Continuing to duck, he threw one, then the other, in the direction of his friends.
"Ow!" yelled Andy in a loud and irritated voice. "Who did that?"
Jake burst from behind the bush as if he were attacking his friends. To Jake's surprise, Mike and Andy stared at him with angry glares.
STORY DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
1. How do Mike and Andy feel? Why?
ANSWER: Angry, upset, confused, irritated, annoyed.
ANSWER: Because Andy was hurt and Jake interrupted their conversation.
2. How does Jake feel?
ANSWER: Sad, lonely, guilty, sorry.
3. What did Jake do that caused Mike and Andy to be angry?
ANSWER: Hurt Andy by throwing dirt clods, interrupted the conversation, tried to scare Mike and Andy.
4. Would you like Jake to join your conversation if he threw dirt clods at you?
ANSWER: Accept any reasonable response.
5. What should Jake have done?
ANSWER: Accept any reasonable response.
STUDENT BRAINSTORMING - JOINING A CONVERSATION
Describe that in the story Jake needed to join the conversation in a different way.
Ask students to identify steps to joining a conversation that make it likely you will be welcomed. Prompt responses by asking students to describe appropriate facial expression, tone of voice, and what should be said. Write responses on the board.
SKILL DEFINITION - JOINING A CONVERSATION
Summarize student responses into the following five step solution. Show the poster entitled Joining a Conversation found in Appendx A. Point to each skill step as it is read and discussed.
1. Walk up close.
About an arms length away.
2. Listen.
3. Wait for a pause.
4. Greet.
5. Ask a question or make a comment that makes sense.
Talk about the same thing.
ELABORATION OF STEP 5 – ASK A QUESTION OR MAKE A COMMENT THAT MAKES SENSE.
Describe the importance of listening to a conversation before joining. This permits the individual to understand the topic of the conversation. Questions and comments made while joining should be related to what the people are talking about.
Ask students to identify questions or comments that would make sense for the following conversation topics:
Maria and Trish are talking about a new cat that Maria just adopted.
Ben and Mario are talking about favorite things to do when playing in the snow.
Toya and Amy are talking about what kind of candy to bring to a birthday party.
Alex and Rodrigo are talking about how hard spelling tests are.
Paige and Wendy are talking about what they are going to do this weekend.
James and Daniel are talking about a new car that James’ parents bought.
MODEL SKILL AND DEMONSTRATE EXAMPLES AND NONEXAMPLES
Indicate to students that you will model the skill a few times. Select two or more volunteers to be carrying on a conversation which you will join. Identify a topic of interest to be discussed before the two volunteers begin the conversation. Possible conversation topics are listed below. Instruct students to observe closely and determine if you use all five steps of joining a conversation.
After modeling examples, indicate to students that the next role plays may contain errors. Again, employ volunteer students. Ask students to closely observe your performance and provide a grade for each role play based on the five steps of joining a conversation. Emphasize that the grade is awarded for your performance of joining, not that of volunteer students. Mix examples with nonexamples that involve a variety of violations of the steps identified above.
POSSIBLE CONVERSATION TOPICS:
What you like to do on the playground.
Your favorite food.
Favorite places to visit.
Favorite games.
Presents received for Christmas.
What you would do with $100.
What you did last weekend or will do this weekend.
STUDENT ROLE PLAYS
Ask volunteer students to come to the front of the class and demonstrate the skill of joining a conversation. It may be helpful for the instructor to be involved in conversations which the volunteer joins in order to maintain the pace of the conversation. Possible conversation topics are listed above or can be provided by students. Instruct students to observe, provide applause after each role play and offer corrective feedback. After each role play show the skill poster, review the five steps and determine if each was present in the role play.
CLASSWIDE ROLE PLAYS (OPTIONAL):
This is a lengthy, but highly valuable, activity that can be completed in an extended session or in a separate session in which a couple of previously taught skills are reviewed. A great deal of structure is required as student attention can easily be lost.
The activity involves breaking the class into groups of three students. Each group role plays the skill of joining a conversation in various situations provided by the instructor.
Detailed instructions are provided in Lesson Two on page 21. Those directions can be adapted for the skill of joining a conversation.
COOPERATIVE LEARNING ACTIVITY (OPTIONAL):
As with classwide role plays, this activity requires an extended session length or can be completed in a separate session. This is a valuable activity that requires not only review of the social skill being taught, but use of other social skills as students work together to accomplish a goal. Again, a great deal of structure is needed to maintain student attention.
This activity involves students working in groups of three to complete a story starter activity found in Appendix B. After a story ending is written, each group is asked to read their story and provide a role play of the story content to the class.
Detailed instructions are provided in Lesson Two on page 22. Those directions can be adapted for the purpose of this lesson.
CLASSWIDE CONTRACTING
Instruct students to join a conversation the people smart way prior to the next session.
Describe that at the outset of the next session, the names of three students will be randomly selected from the jar containing names of class members. If a selected student is able to describe use of the skill of joining a conversation, and perform a role play, he/she will earn a surprise reward.
Provide rewards, such as candy or school implements, to winners identified at the start of the session.
A poster with the definition of joining a conversation can be found in Appendix A. Place the poster in a prominent location in the classroom.
REVIEW EXERCISE TO BE COMPLETED BEFORE NEXT SESSION (OPTIONAL):
Review the skill at some point prior to the next session. Request students to write an ending to the story starter sheet that follows. Describe that the ending should show the main character, Alex, joining a conversation the people smart way.
STORY WRITING ACTIVITY
DIRECTIONS: Please write an ending to the following story. Describe how Alex, the main character, joins a conversation the people smart way.
Dog Lover
Alex liked apple pie. He always liked to play video games. But more than anything else, Alex loved dogs.
Today Alex saw his neighbors, Mr. and Mrs. Jones, talking in front of their house. Next to them was their big golden retriever, Rufus. Alex decided to walk over to his neighbors and join the conversation.
LESSON SIX
JOINING A GAME
LESSON OVERVIEW
PURPOSE: To provide students an appropriate method to join a game in progress.
SKILL DEFINITION:
JOINING A GAME:
1. Walk up close.
2. Wait for a pause.
3. Greet.
4. Compliment
5. Ask politely to play.
INSTRUCTIONAL SEQUENCE:
Review content of previous session
Drawing for homework winners
Introductory story
Story discussion questions
Student brainstorming - joining a game
Skill definition - joining a game
Elaborate on skill step four - complimenting
Model skill and demonstrate examples and nonexamples
Rationales generated by students to support the skill
Student role plays
Classwide role plays (optional)
Cooperative learning activity (optional)
Classwide contracting
Review exercise to be completed before next session (optional)
SESSION LENGTH: Approximately 30 – 50 minutes.
LESSON SIX
JOINING A GAME
REVIEW CONTENT OF PREVIOUS SESSION
Briefly describe the story, (Sneak Attack(, from the previous session. Ask students to describe the skill taught in the previous session and its definition.
SKILL TAUGHT:
JOINING A CONVERSATION
1. Walk up close.
2. Listen.
3. Wait for a pause.
4. Greet.
5. Ask a question or make a comment that makes sense.
DRAWING FOR HOMEWORK WINNERS
Request that a student who is listening effectively, as described in Session One, draw from the jar containing student names. The selected student is asked to identify if he/she used the skill of joining a conversation the people smart way. If the student is able to describe use of the skills and complete a role play with volunteer students, he/she wins a surprise reward at the end of the session. Provide corrective feedback. Continue until at least three winners are found.
INTRODUCTORY STORY
Read the following story. Indicate to students that questions will be asked after the story is completed.
TROUBLE ON THE TETHERBALL COURT
Ashley studied the hands of the clock as they slowly inched toward 10:30 A.M. and the start of recess. She wished the hands would move more quickly. Recess was going to be so much fun this morning. Ashley had been practicing tetherball all weekend on her new tetherball pole at home. She knew she could beat anyone in the fifth grade now!
With glee, Ashley watched the big hand finally creep onto the six at the bottom of the clock. The time was at hand! As the bell rang, Ashley sprang out of her seat and headed for the door. It was then, with horror, that Ashley heard those awful words from Mrs. Morgan, her teacher.
"Students, back in your seats right now. You all know you owe me two minutes of recess for all that noise in play practice this morning."
"How could you do this?" thought Ashley. "I wasn't talking during the play practice - it was a bunch of other kids," she muttered to herself. Ashley was sure she'd never get a tetherball pole now.
Ashley slowly returned to her seat to wait out the sentence. Finally, in what seemed to be an hour, Mrs. Morgan excused the class. Ashley dashed for the door and onto the playground. She surveyed the line of tetherball poles. Just as she had expected! Every pole was taken.
Ashley was determined she was going to play tetherball, and win. She spotted Marie and Wendy, both good friends from another fifth grade class. She was sure they'd let her play. Ashley ran up to Marie and Wendy. She playfully grabbed the ball they were hitting back and forth. "I play the winner!" she yelled.
"I'm not playing with you!" screamed Wendy. "You're rude. Find someone else to play with."
The words struck Ashley like a lightening bolt. Her long awaited chance to play tetherball had vanished. Ashley felt tears running down her face as she ran to the building. No one was being fair today.
STORY DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
1. Like Ashley, have you ever felt you couldn't wait to join a game? Describe.
ANSWER: Accept any reasonable response.
2. Ashley was surprised when Wendy screamed, "You're rude! Find someone else to play with." Why was Wendy so unfriendly to Ashley?
ANSWER: Ashley had interrupted the tetherball game Wendy and Marie were playing.
3. Have you ever been interrupted while playing a game? How did you feel?
ANSWER: Upset, angry, frustrated, annoyed, irritated
4. How was Ashley feeling as she ran back to the school building?
ANSWER: Angry, embarrassed, frustrated
STUDENT BRAINSTORMING - JOINING A GAME
Describe that in the story Ashley needed to join the game in a people smart way.
Ask students to identify steps to joining a game that make it likely you will be welcomed. Prompt responses by asking students to describe appropriate facial expression, tone of voice, and what should be said. Write responses on the board.
SKILL DEFINITION - JOINING A GAME
Summarize student responses into the following four step solution. Point to the poster as you read each skill step. A poster entitled Joining a Game can be found in Appendix A.
1. Walk up close.
2. Wait for a pause.
3. Greet.
4. Compliment
5. Ask politely to play.
Indicate that many games have pauses built into them such as change of batters in softball. Ask students to identify pauses that occur in other games.
EXAMPLES:
BASKETBALL: Taking the ball out of bounds,
free throws.
FOOTBALL: Pause between downs and after a
touchdown.
SOCCER: Throw-ins.
FOUR SQUARE: When someone is taken out.
DODGE BALL: When someone is taken out.
ELABORATE ON SKILL STEP FOUR - COMPLIMENT
Write the word compliment on the board.
Ask students to provide a definition for the term.
Indicate that a compliment means telling someone what you like about them.
Provide some examples:
SITUATION: Joy runs so fast she wins a race
COMPLIMENT: “Joy, you are such a fast runner. Wow, you won the race.”
SITUATION: Bob receives a grade of A on his spelling test.
COMPLIMENT: “Bob, you’re a terrific speller.”
Ask students why it is a people smart to give a compliment when you want to join a game. Emphasize that you are more likely to be accepted in the game if you compliment.
Ask students to provide compliments for the following situations:
SITUATIONS:
Jake’s kite soars skyward as it catches a stiff breeze.
Maria yells with joy as she wins a checker match with a friend.
Andy hits a home run in a softball game.
Angelita kicks the winning goal in a soccer match.
MODEL SKILL AND DEMONSTRATE EXAMPLES AND NONEXAMPLES
Indicate to students that you will model the skill a few times. Select two or more volunteers to act out playing a game which you will join. Identify a game which the volunteers will be playing. Possible games are listed below. Instruct students to observe closely and determine if you are people smart by using all five steps of joining a game.
After modeling examples, indicate to students that the next role plays may contain errors. Again, employ volunteer students. Ask students to closely observe your performance and provide a grade for each role play based on the five steps of joining a game. Emphasize that the grade is awarded for your performance of joining, not that of volunteer students. Mix examples with nonexamples that involve a variety of violations of the steps identified above.
POSSIBLE GAMES:
Four square Monopoly
Basketball Checkers
Soccer Video game
Tetherball
Dodge ball
RATIONALES GENERATED BY STUDENTS TO SUPPORT THE SKILL STEPS
Ask students to identify why it is important to use each of the five steps in the skill definition. Record rationales on the board.
WALK UP CLOSE.
More likely you will be noticed.
Easier to talk when close.
Players might ask you to join the game.
WAIT FOR A PAUSE
Polite
Players might be angry if you interrupt
GREET
You gain their attention.
Friendly.
People like to be said hello to.
Players will be more likely to want you to join the game.
COMPLIMENT
Players will want you to join them.
They will compliment you.
A good way to make and keep friends
ASK POLITELY TO PLAY.
Players will more likely want you to play if you are polite.
Players will more likely think you will be a fun person to play with.
Players will more likely think you will follow the rules and play fairly.
STUDENT ROLE PLAYS
Ask volunteer students to come to the front of the class and demonstrate the skill of joining a game the people smart way. To facilitate management of activities, it may be helpful for the instructor to be involved in acting out games which the volunteer joins. Possible games are listed above or can be provided by students. Instruct students to observe, provide applause after each role play and offer corrective feedback. After each role play review the four skill steps and determine if each was present in the role play. It is helpful to use the poster when reviewing skill steps.
CLASSWIDE ROLE PLAYS (OPTIONAL):
This is a lengthy, but highly valuable, activity that can be completed in an extended session or in a separate session in which a couple of previously taught skills are reviewed. A great deal of structure is required as student attention can easily be lost.
The activity involves breaking the class into groups of three students. Each group role plays the skill of joining a game in various situations provided by the instructor.
Detailed instructions are provided in Lesson Two on page 21. Those directions can be adapted for the skill of joining a game.
COOPERATIVE LEARNING ACTIVITY (OPTIONAL):
As with classwide role plays, this activity requires an extended session length or can be completed in a separate session. This is a valuable activity that requires not only review of the social skill being taught, but use of other social skills as students work together to accomplish a goal. Again, a great deal of structure is needed to maintain student attention.
This activity involves students working in groups of three to complete a story starter activity found in Appendix B. After a story ending is written, each group is asked to read their story and provide a role play of the story content to the class.
Detailed instructions are provided in Lesson Two on page 22. Those directions can be adapted for the purpose of this lesson.
CLASSWIDE CONTRACTING
Instruct students to join a game the people smart way prior to the next session.
Describe that at the outset of the next session, the names of three students will be randomly selected from the jar containing names of class members. If a selected student is able to describe use of the skill of joining a game, and perform a role play, he/she will earn a surprise reward.
Provide rewards, such as candy or school implements, to winners identified at the start of the session.
A poster with the definition of joining a game can be found in Appendix A. Place the poster in a prominent location in the classroom.
REVIEW EXERCISE TO BE COMPLETED BEFORE NEXT SESSION (OPTIONAL):
Review the skill of joining a game at some point prior to the next session. Ask students to write an ending to the story starter provided on the following page. Instruct students that the ending should describe the main character joining a game the people smart way.
STORY WRITING ACTIVITY
DIRECTIONS: Please write an ending to the following story. Describe how Tad can join a game the people smart way.
SOCCER LOVER
Tad likes to play most games. However, soccer is his favorite. Today he ran onto the playground at recess and found several classmates playing soccer at the other end of the field. Tad knew he must now get himself into this game. First Tad ….
LESSON SEVEN
SHARING
LESSON OVERVIEW
PURPOSE: To teach students four methods of sharing and the positive consequences that come from sharing with others.
DEFINITION OF SHARING: Sharing is giving something you have.
DEFINITION OF CONSEQUENCE: A consequence is something that happens because you do something.
FOUR METHODS OF SHARING:
1. Things
2. Experiences
3. Time
4. Skills
INSTRUCTIONAL SEQUENCE:
Review content of previous session
Drawing for homework winners
Part One
Sharing Things
Introductory story - sharing things
Story discussion questions
Define sharing
Define consequence
Consequences that follow from sharing things
Part Two
Sharing Experiences
Introductory story - sharing experiences
Story discussion questions
Student descriptions of sharing experiences with others
Part Three
Sharing Time
Introductory story - sharing time
Story discussion questions
Student descriptions of sharing time with others
Part Four
Sharing Skills
Introductory story - sharing skills
Story discussion questions
Student descriptions of sharing skills with others
Part Five
Sharing to Solve Problems and Session Conclusion
Review consequences of sharing things, experiences, time and skills
Student problem solving
Classwide contracting
Review exercise to be completed before next session
SESSION LENGTH: Approximately 30 – 40 minutes
LESSON SEVEN
SHARING
REVIEW CONTENT OF PREVIOUS SESSION
Briefly describe the story, (Trouble on the Tetherball Court(, from the previous session. Ask students to describe the skill taught during Lesson Six and its definition.
SKILL TAUGHT:
JOINING A GAME
1. Walk up close.
2. Wait for a pause.
3. Greet.
4. Compliment
5. Ask politely to play.
DRAWING FOR HOMEWORK WINNERS
Request that a student who is listening effectively, as described in Session One, draw from the jar containing student names. The selected student is asked to identify if he/she used the skills described to join a game the people smart way. If the student is able to describe use of the skills, and complete a role play with volunteer students, he/she wins a surprise reward at the end of the session. Provide corrective feedback. Continue until at least three winners are found.
PART ONE
SHARING THINGS
INTRODUCTORY STORY - SHARING THINGS
Read the following story. Indicate to students that questions will be asked after the story is completed.
WARM HANDS
Andre woke up excited and looking forward to the big day that lay ahead. It was Saturday morning. Not just any Saturday morning, though. Today was special! Andre was going skiing with his best friend.
After breakfast Andre excitedly gathered his equipment. His shiny new red skis would take him quickly down the mountain. After gathering skis, poles, boots and a warm jacket, Andre searched for his gloves. He knew he couldn't ski without his gloves. His hands would quickly freeze in the cold winter air. The more Andre searched, the more concerned he became. Where were his gloves? Andre went to his mom and asked if she had seen them. His mom suggested he look in the top drawer of his chest of drawers. Andre had already looked there twice.
In five minutes Andre's friend would arrive ready for the big skiing trip. Andre was becoming frantic. Tears started flowing from his eyes. Andre's big day was quickly turning into a terrible day.
Andre's older brother, James, saw that Andre was quite upset. "What's the matter?" asked James.
"Nothing's going right!" sobbed Andre. "I can't find my ski gloves and without them I can't go skiing with Jake."
"Well why don't you use my gloves for today," suggested James. "They might be a little big for you but they'll work. Just don't lose them."
Andre's eyes lit up. He was again filled with joy and excitement. "Thanks, James!" bubbled Andre in a happy voice. "I won't lose them; you can count on it. And James, you can use anything of mine anytime you need it."
STORY DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
1. What did James do to help his brother?
ANSWER: Shared his gloves.
2. How did Andre feel when he couldn't find his gloves?
ANSWER: Sad, disappointed, unhappy, frustrated
3. How did Andre feel after James said he could use his gloves?
ANSWER: Happy, joyful, relieved, thankful
4. Why do you think James shared his gloves with Andre?
ANSWER: He wanted to help. It made him feel good.
5. What are the consequences for Andre? What good things will happen to Andre because James shared with him?
ANSWER: He feels happy, he is able to ski, he is able to play with his friend.
6. What are the consequences for James? What good things will happen to James because he shared with Andre?
ANSWER: Andre will share with him in the future.
James feels happy because he helped his brother.
Andre and James will probably be better friends.
DEFINE SHARING
Ask students to define sharing. Write appropriate responses on the board.
Acknowledge that student responses on the board describe sharing well. Suggest that the list can be summarized into the following definition. Display the poster entitled sharing which is found in Appendix A.
Sharing is giving something you have.
Ask students to describe a few examples of sharing.
DEFINE CONSEQUENCE
Describe that in the story above, good consequences, good things, happened to both Andre and James because James shared.
Write the word (consequence( on the board. Ask students to define the word consequence. Write responses on the board.
Acknowledge that student responses on the board describe the word (consequence( well. Suggest that the list can be summarized into the following definition. Write the definition on the board below the definition of sharing.
A consequence is something that happens because you do something.
Give some examples of common consequences for actions.
EXAMPLES:
SITUATION: You lend a friend a pencil when he needs one.
CONSEQUENCE: Your friend will lend you a pencil when you need one.
SITUATION: You help your little sister with her homework
CONSEQUENCE: Your little sister will likely help you when she can.
SITUATION: You call a friend names.
CONSEQUENCE: Lose a friend and maybe be called names.
CONSEQUENCES THAT FOLLOW FROM SHARING THINGS
Describe that in the story James shares a thing, a pair of gloves, with his brother. Describe things that are commonly shared: pencils, games, toys, etc. Ask students to expand the list.
On the board write the phrase, "We share..." Under this phrase write the word "things."
Ask students to describe a time they shared a thing and a good consequence that followed. Mention, if necessary, that feeling good when sharing is itself a good consequence.
PART TWO
SHARING EXPERIENCES
INTRODUCTORY STORY - SHARING EXPERIENCES
Read the following story. Indicate to students that questions will be asked after the story is completed. Ask students to identify what in the story, besides a thing, is shared.
JOHN LANDS A WHOPPER
John was 12 years old and loved to fish. His family was camping near a lake full of giant trout. Early one morning John arose before the sun came up. He looked over the lake to find a gray fog covering the still water. Occasionally, a trout disturbed the surface of the lake by taking an insect. This was a time to fish!
With pole in hand and a warm jacket to escape the cold of morning, John quietly walked to the waters edge. His excitement swelled when he saw a huge trout swim by him in the clear water. The fish flashed in the first light of morning and then quickly disappeared in the depths of the quiet lake. Fumbling, John threaded his line through the eyelets of the pole, tied on a favorite fly and threw the line through the fog and into the still water. Within seconds, a trout hit John's fly, almost knocking the pole out of his hand. John's heart raced as he yanked back. A rainbow trout, two feet long and with a huge, gaping mouth exploded from the surface of the lake. The monster wagged its head at John before diving deep into the water. This was the biggest fish he had ever seen. John's body shook as he knew he was now in battle with a monster.
For nearly ten minutes John carefully fought the giant fish. Throughout the fight John repeated, "Don't lose him. Don't lose him." He wanted desperately to show the fish to his family. Finally, the fish tired and John, now himself weak from the battle, was able to ease the fish to shore. With skill he carefully picked the colorful trout from the water. It glistened in the sun that now peeked above the trees. Never before had he caught a fish like this. He thought only in dreams was such excitement possible.
John carefully removed the fly from the giant's hooked jaw. Holding the fish with both arms he turned and began to run. He knew exactly where he was going.
STORY DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
1. What do you think John did after unhooking the fish?
ANSWER: Showed his family and told about the catch.
2. Why did John run back to camp? Why didn't he stay to catch another fish?
ANSWER: He was so excited he had to share his experience. He was too excited to fish.
STUDENT DESCRIPTIONS OF SHARING EXPERIENCES WITH OTHERS
Indicate to students that John not only shared a thing, the fish, with his family but he also shared an experience, that of catching the big fish. Mention that when important things happen, we often feel a need to talk about them or share them with important people like our family or friends.
Under the phrase "We share ...." written previously on the board write the word "experiences."
Describe that it is important not only to share exciting and happy experiences, but also sad or frightening experiences with others.
Ask students to describe a time they shared an experience with another person. Ask students to describe consequences that followed.
Students may have difficulty identifying consequences. Discuss that the student may have felt happy to share the experience and that others felt happy to hear of it. With negative experiences, mention that sharing helps us feel better. Also mention that if we share experiences with others, they are more likely to share experiences with us.
PART THREE
SHARING TIME
INTRODUCTORY STORY - SHARING TIME
Read the following story. Indicate to students that questions will be asked after the story is completed. Ask students to identify what in the story is shared.
MAKING MARIA FEEL WELL
Kathy was sad. Since school had begun in September, she had played with Maria during nearly every recess. The two girls especially enjoyed swinging together. Today Maria is home in bed. She recently broke her leg playing on a trampoline. Kathy knew the injury was serious and that Maria would not be back in school for several days.
Kathy decided to visit Maria this afternoon. She brought several games with her. While Maria looked lonely and sad when Kathy arrived, she soon was laughing and enjoying the time with her friend. Kathy spent a total of two hours visiting and playing with Maria. When it was time to leave, she happily told Maria that she would spend more time with her tomorrow.
STORY DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
1. What was Kathy sharing in this example?
ANSWER: Time and things (games).
2. How did Maria feel when Kathy shared her time with Maria?
ANSWER: Happy.
3. How did Kathy feel when she visited Maria?
ANSWER: Happy.
4. What are the consequences for Kathy of sharing time with Maria?
ANSWER: She feels happy.
Maria will probably spend time with her when she is sick.
Maria will be a better friend.
STUDENT DESCRIPTIONS OF SHARING TIME WITH OTHERS
Under the phrase "We share ...." written previously on the board write the word "time."
Ask students to describe when they shared time with others and the consequences that followed.
PART FOUR
SHARING SKILLS
INTRODUCTORY STORY - SHARING SKILLS
Read the following story. Indicate to students that questions will be asked after the story is completed. Ask students to identify what in the story is being shared.
RIDING THE TRAILS
Anne loved to ride her mountain bike in the hills behind her home. A few days ago a new girl, Linda, moved into the vacant house next to Anne's. Linda was from Kansas where there are no mountains. Anne decided to start a conversation with Linda and invite her to take turns riding her mountain bike.
Linda was happy to make a new friend and eagerly accepted the invitation to ride in the hills. Anne spent a good deal of time showing Linda how to change gears in order to go up hills and how to brake on steep slopes. Both Linda and Anne had great fun sharing Anne's mountain bike. They quickly became very good friends.
STORY DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
1. What does Anne share with Linda?
ANSWER: Skills and knowledge plus her bike and her
time.
2. What skills does Anne share with Linda?
ANSWER: How to change gears and brake the mountain bike.
3. How does Linda feel when Anne helps her by sharing skills?
ANSWER: Happy, grateful.
4. What are the consequences for Anne of sharing her skills of riding a mountain bike with Linda?
ANSWER: Makes a new friend.
Linda might share skills with her.
Feels happy to help a friend.
STUDENT DESCRIPTIONS OF SHARING SKILLS WITH OTHERS
Under the phrase "We share ...." written previously on the board write the word "skills."
Ask students to describe when they shared skills with others and the consequences that followed.
PART FIVE
SHARING TO SOLVE PROBLEMS AND SESSION CONCLUSION
REVIEW CONSEQUENCES OF SHARING THINGS, EXPERIENCES, TIME AND SKILLS
Ask students to identify good consequences that occur when you are people smart and share things, experiences, time and skills with others. Invite students to cite examples as well.
EXAMPLES OF CONSEQUENCES:
Make new friends.
Keep friends.
Makes you feel good.
Makes others happy.
Others will share with you.
STUDENT PROBLEM SOLVING
Ask students to identify methods of sharing to solve the following problems. Students may be invited to role play solutions as well.
SITUATION ONE
You are walking down the street with your friend. You reach into your pocket and pull out a candy bar.
SITUATION TWO
You and your friend decide to ride bikes. You jump on your bike but hear your friend say, "Oh no!" You look back to find that your friend is leaning over his bike looking at a flat tire.
SITUATION THREE
You and your friend want to play basketball very much. At recess you walk to the basketball court and discover two boys playing on the court.
SITUATION FOUR
In your classroom you are seated at a table with three other students completing a page of math problems. You are cruising through the paper with no problems. The girl sitting next to you gives a great sigh of frustration and shakes her head. Apparently she is upset because she does not know how to do these math problems.
CLASSWIDE CONTRACTING
Instruct the students to be people smart by sharing things, experiences, time or skills before the next session.
Describe that at the outset of the next session, the names of three students will be randomly selected from the jar containing names of class members. If a selected student is able to describe use of sharing and describe a consequence that followed, he/she will earn a surprise reward.
A poster with the definition of sharing can be found in Appendix A. Place the poster in a prominent location in the classroom.
Provide rewards, such as candy or school implements, to winners identified at the start of the session.
REVIEW EXERCISE TO BE COMPLETED BEFORE NEXT SESSION (OPTIONAL)
Review the four ways of sharing at some point prior to the next session. Request that each student write a description of a time he/she shared. Prompt the memory of students by asking them to recall when they shared with friends, classmates or family members. Emphasize that students are to describe in detail how they shared and the good consequences that occurred. Ask selected students to read responses to the class. Provide feedback by emphasizing the benefits of sharing.
LESSON EIGHT
SHARING ADVICE
LESSON OVERVIEW
PURPOSE: To provide students an effective, prosocial method to share advice.
SKILL DEFINITION:
Be friendly
Make eye contact.
Smile.
Have a friendly voice.
2. Say the person's name.
3. Make a statement of interest/concern.
EXAMPLE: "That looks like a tough job."
4. Ask if you can make a suggestion.
5. Word the suggestion positively.
INSTRUCTIONAL SEQUENCE:
Review content of previous lesson
Drawing for homework winners
Introductory story
Story discussion questions
Student poll – sharing advice that is received or rejected
Sharing personal experiences of giving advice
Student brainstorming – how to give advice so it is accepted
Skill definition – sharing advice
Further define steps three and five of skill definition
Model skill and demonstrate examples and nonexamples
Student role plays
Classwide role plays (optional)
Cooperative learning activity (optional)
Classwide contracting
Review exercise to be completed before next session (optional)
Estimated Time: 30 – 50 minutes
LESSON EIGHT
SHARING ADVICE
REVIEW CONTENT OF PREVIOUS LESSON
Briefly describe the story, Warm Hands, from the previous lesson. Ask students to describe the four ways of sharing that were taught. Also ask students to identify good consequences that often result from sharing.
SKILL TAUGHT:
SHARING
1. Things
2. Experiences
3. Time
4. Skills
CONSEQUENCES OF SHARING
Make new friends
Keep friends
Makes you feel good
Makes others happy
Others will share with you
DRAWING FOR HOMEWORK WINNERS
Request that a student who is listening effectively, as described in Session One, draw from the jar containing student names. The selected student is asked to identify if he/she shared since the last session. If the student is able to describe use of sharing and identify a good consequence that occurred, he/she wins a surprise reward at the end of the session. Emphasize the good consequences that result from sharing. Continue until at least three winners are found.
INTRODUCTORY STORY
Read the following story. Indicate that questions will be asked following the story.
STRIKEOUTS AND ERRORS
Eighth graders filed out of the gym onto the athletic field at Preston Junior High. Mrs. Alexander, the girls P.E. instructor, followed dozens of girls to the softball diamonds on the south side of the school. Meanwhile, Mr. Hernandez, the boys P.E. instructor, discussed the day’s activities as he walked with dozens of boys to the diamonds at the north end of the school. Within a few minutes several softball games were in progress.
Tina Lopez stepped to the plate. With runners on second and third, she knew that a hit would bring runs in and break the tie. On the other hand, she also knew that an out would end the inning. Tina carefully watched the softball as it traveled to the plate. She stepped forward and took a mighty swing. The bat hit nothing but air for strike one. After letting a pitch bounce into the dirt in front of her for ball one, Tina saw another pitch arriving in the strike zone. She stepped forward with another mighty swing, only to hear the ball land in the catchers mitt for strike two. The pitcher delivered the next two balls over her head. With a count of three balls and two strikes, Tina realized this was the time to make it happen. She stepped out of the batters box and rubbed her hands. Stepping back in, she stared at the pitcher. Tina carefully watched as the girl on the mound swung her arm and released the ball. The softball spun as it traveled to the plate. Sensing this was a great pitch to hit, Tina closed her eyes, lunged forward and swung the bat with every bit of strength she could find.
"Strike three!" yelled a girl who was serving as umpire behind the plate.
Tina stood at the plate for a moment with eyes closed, wondering how she could miss such a good pitch. Opening her eyes, she saw the pitcher, walking off the mound, smile at her. Tina slowly moved to the fence to pick up her mitt.
Abby Stanton, a girl who Tina had played with for years, gave Tina a pat on the shoulder.
With a happy voice and a smile Abby stated, "That was a pressure situation to hit in, Tina. We'll pick up some runs next inning."
"Yea, if I'm not batting," replied Tina in a dejected voice.
"Can I make a suggestion?" asked Abby.
"Sure, I need all the help I can get," responded Tina.
Well, I think you might do better if you choked up on the bat a little bit and didn't swing so hard. It looks like you're trying to kill the ball. I usually strike out if I swing really hard."
"Okay, I'll try it next time I'm up. It sure can't hurt," stated Tina, already feeling better.
"Well, we'll hold them to no runs here and break the tie next time up," stated Abby in a confident voice.
"You bet!" yelled Tina as she ran onto the field to take her position at third base.
……..
Meanwhile, at the other end of the school, Travis Maloney was playing center field. He heard the crack of the bat and saw the ball bound sharply past the second baseman. Travis ran to his left to intercept the ball that tore wildly through the grass. Bending over, he scooped his mitt at the screaming grounder. However, the mitt never reached the ground and the ball continued rolling toward the center field fence. The runner rounded first base and headed to second. In disgust, Travis threw down his mitt and ran as fast as he could through thick grass into the outer limits of the ball diamond. By the time he threw the ball to the second baseman, the runner was heading for home. Travis knew his error caused another run to score.
Tony Bell, the second baseman, ran into the outfield. "Hey, that error cost us a run. Don't be afraid of the ball and get in front of it," yelled Tony with emotion.
"I'm not afraid of it," shot back Travis. "Besides, you should have had it anyway!"
Tony glared at Travis. "I guess I'll have to catch everything since you're such a chicken out here," roared Tony.
Sensing trouble, Mr. Hernandez yelled from the sideline for both boys to assume their positions. Within minutes, play continued.
Before the game ended, Travis made two more errors in center field and vowed he would never play softball again.
STORY DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
1. How did Tina feel when she struck out and how did Travis feel when he allowed the ball to get past him in center field?
ANSWER: Embarrassed, upset, angry, frustrated
2. How does Tina feel after talking with Abby?
ANSWER: Confident, relieved
3. How does Travis feel after talking with Tony?
ANSWER: Angry, resentful
4. Does Tina accept Abby's advice to choke up on the bat and swing less hard?
ANSWER: Yes
5. Does Travis follow Tony's advice to get in front of the ball?
ANSWER: Probably not.
6. Why did Tina follow Abby's advice while Travis did not follow Tony's advice?
ANSWER: Tina presented her advice in a polite and helpful manner.
7. Who would you rather play ball with, Abby or Tony?
ANSWER: Accept any reasonable response.
STUDENT POLL - SHARING ADVICE THAT IS RECEIVED OR REJECTED
Ask students to raise their hands if they have given advice and the person accepted the advice?
Ask students to raise their hands if they have given advice that was rejected or met with anger or resentment?
Indicate that giving advice can be difficult and that some people may not want any advice.
SHARING PERSONAL EXPERIENCES OF GIVING ADVICE.
Ask students to share personal experiences of giving advice that was either accepted or rejected. Discuss how the advice was given. Note that giving advice is an example of sharing time and knowledge and/or skills.
It may be helpful for the instructor to describe a successful and unsuccessful example of giving advice.
STUDENT BRAINSTORMING - HOW TO GIVE ADVICE SO IT WILL BE ACCEPTED
Describe that in the story above, Abby gave advice that was accepted while Tony gave advice that was rejected. Ask students to identify how advice should be given to make it most likely that it will be accepted. Prompt responses by asking students to comment on voice tone, facial expressions, and what to say. Accept only socially appropriate responses.
Write student responses on the board.
SKILL DEFINITION - SHARING ADVICE
Summarize student responses into the definition shown on the Sharing Advice Poster found in Appendix A.
SHARING ADVICE:
1. Be friendly
Make eye contact.
Smile.
Have a friendly voice.
2. Say the person's name.
3. Make a statement of interest/concern.
EXAMPLE: "That looks like a tough job."
4. Ask if you can make a suggestion.
5. Word the suggestion positively.
Tell the person how to do it.
6. Wish the person success.
FURTHER DEFINE STEPS 3 AND 5: MAKE A STATEMENT OF INTEREST/CONCERN AND WORD THE SUGGESTION POSITIVELY
Describe that it is important to make a statement of interest/concern in order to communicate that you are sincere about helping and understand the person's situation. As a result, the person is more likely to listen and accept the advice. Provide some examples.
EXAMPLES OF STATEMENTS OF INTEREST/CONCERN
"It’s really hard to jump over a curb on a skate board."
"It's frustrating to fly a kite when there isn't much wind."
"Stuffing a giant sleeping bag into a tiny bag can be a pain in the neck."
"I saw you were having trouble riding the mountain bike up the hill. It's a tough job."
"I noticed you scratched your head while trying to write the book report. I've had some difficulty with this one also."
"I was sorry to hear that Andre hung up when you called him the other night. You must have felt horrible."
Indicate that wording the suggestion positively means spending more time telling the person what he/she can do to help himself/herself rather than telling the person what he/she did wrong. Provide some examples and nonexamples.
CASE ONE:
EXAMPLE:
"It is helpful to wear nylon socks under your athletic socks when playing basketball in order to avoid blisters."
NONEXAMPLE:
"Don't wear socks that are too loose."
CASE TWO:
EXAMPLE:
"When you have a test coming up, it's best to study for an hour or so every day for a week."
NONEXAMPLE:
"You didn't study enough and that's why you flunked the test."
CASE THREE:
EXAMPLE:
"When you go up to Mr. Arthur to talk about your grade, tell him you've learned a lot in his class and that he's a terrific teacher."
NONEXAMPLE:
"Don't be rude and don't argue with Mr. Arthur when you talk to him about your grade."
MODEL SKILL AND DEMONSTRATE EXAMPLES AND NONEXAMPLES
With volunteer students, model the skill of giving advice a few times. Ask students to observe and provide a grade for the performance based on the above steps. Review each step following each role play. Use situations provided below or those suggested by students.
Indicate to students that the following role plays may contain errors. Mix examples with nonexamples. At times make the nonexamples subtle by omitting such skills as not saying the person's name or not wording the advice positively. Ask students to provide a grade for each role play based on the skill definition.
SITUATIONS:
1. A girl is upset because other students have been teasing her.
Advice given: ignore
2. A student receives a poor grade in a class because he did not manage his time adequately to complete projects and papers.
Advice given: do homework for an hour every night.
3. A boy is riding a bike without a helmet.
Advice given: please wear a helmet so you don’t get hurt
4. A friend is upset because he is in trouble with a teacher for talking in class.
Advice given: visit at recess
5. A friend is afraid to ask a school secretary, known for her outbursts, to check how many lunches he has paid for.
Advice given: relax and ask a friend to go along
6. A friend says she won't play softball ever again after missing several fly balls while playing in the outfield.
Advice given: practice with a friend before games
7. A friend is angry because her parents won't let her stay out past 11:00 P.M.
Advice given: ask politely when she can stay out late and accept an answer of no.
8. A friend throws his hammer down in disgust after bending the 5th nail in a row while trying to repair a fence.
Advice given: hold the nail while pounding it to get it started.
9. A friend has a math test tomorrow and feels she is not adequately prepared. She decides to sluff school so she doesn’t have to take the test.
Advice given: take the test and do the best you can.
STUDENT ROLE PLAYS
Recruit volunteer students to role play use of the skill. Use situations described above or those suggested by students. It will be necessary to decide in advance appropriate advice to give in each situation. Allow only advice that is consistent with school rules and community standards to be given. After each role play, review if each skill component was employed while using the poster as a point of reference.
CLASSWIDE ROLE PLAYS (OPTIONAL):
This is a lengthy, but highly valuable, activity that can be completed in an extended session or in a separate session in which a couple of previously taught skills are reviewed. A great deal of structure is required as student attention can easily be lost.
The activity involves breaking the class into groups of three students. Each group role plays the skill of sharing advice in various situations provided by the instructor. Use situations identified above or those provided by students.
Detailed instructions are provided in Lesson Two on page 21. Those directions can be adapted for the skill of sharing advice.
COOPERATIVE LEARNING ACTIVITY (OPTIONAL):
As with classwide role plays, this activity requires an extended session length or can be completed in a separate session. This is a valuable activity that requires not only review of the social skill being taught, but use of other social skills as students work together to accomplish a goal. Again, a great deal of structure is needed to maintain student attention.
This activity involves students working in groups of three to complete a story starter activity found in Appendix B. After a story ending is written, each group is asked to read their story and provide a role play of the story content to the class.
Detailed instructions are provided in Lesson Two on page 22. Those directions can be adapted for the purpose of this lesson.
CLASSWIDE CONTRACTING
Instruct students to share advice the people smart way prior to the next session.
Describe that at the outset of the next session, the names of three students will be randomly selected from the jar containing names of class members. If a selected student is able to describe use of the skill of sharing advice, and perform a role play, he/she will earn a surprise reward.
Provide rewards, such as candy or school implements, to winners identified at the start of the session.
A poster with the definition of sharing advice can be found in Appendix A. Place the poster in a prominent location in the classroom.
REVIEW EXERCISE TO BE COMPLETED BEFORE NEXT SESSION (OPTIONAL):
Review the skill of sharing advice at some point prior to the next session. Ask students to write an ending to the story starter provided on the following page. Instruct students that the ending should describe the main character sharing advice the people smart way.
STORY WRITING ACTIVITY
DIRECTIONS: Please write an ending to the story below. Describe the main character, Tina, sharing advice the people smart way.
CRUMPLED PAPER
Tina looked with surprise as she saw her little brother, William, crumple up his spelling test and throw it angrily into the trash can. Tears began to flow from William(s eyes. Tina understood how difficult spelling was for William. She decided to tell William about how she studied for spelling tests by writing each word five times.
LESSON NINE
POLITE WORDS
LESSON OVERVIEW
PURPOSE: To provide students the skills to use polite words appropriately.
FOUR POLITE WORDS:
Please
Thank you
You're welcome
Excuse me or pardon me
SKILL DEFINITION - PLEASE, THANK YOU AND YOU'RE WELCOME:
Look friendly.
Make eye contact.
Smile .
Use a friendly voice.
Say, "Please." or "Thank you" or "You're welcome."
Say the person's name if you know it.
SKILL DEFINITION - EXCUSE ME AND PARDON ME:
Look serious.
Make eye contact.
Have a serious face.
Use a serious voice.
Say, "Excuse me." or "Pardon me."
Say the person's name if you know it.
INSTRUCTIONAL SEQUENCE:
Review content of previous session
Drawing for homework winners
Introductory story - polite words
Story discussion questions
Student brainstorming - identifying polite words
Student descriptions of using polite words
Skill definitions - polite words
Model skills and demonstrate examples and nonexamples
Rationales generated by students to support use of polite words
Student role plays
Classwide role plays
Classwide contracting
Review exercise to be completed before next session
SESSION LENGTH: Approximately 30 - 50 minutes
LESSON NINE
POLITE WORDS
REVIEW CONTENT OF PREVIOUS SESSION
Briefly describe the story, Strikeouts and Errors, from the previous lesson. Ask students to describe the people smart way of sharing advice as taught.
SHARING ADVICE:
1. Be friendly
Make eye contact.
Smile.
Have a friendly voice.
2. Say the person's name.
3. Make a statement of interest/concern.
EXAMPLE: "That looks like a tough job."
4. Ask if you can make a suggestion.
5. Word the suggestion positively.
DRAWING FOR HOMEWORK WINNERS
Request that a student who is listening effectively, as described in Session One, draw from the jar containing student names. The selected student is asked to identify if he/she shared advice the people smart way since the last session. If the student is able to describe use of the skill, and perform a role play, he/she wins a surprise reward at the end of the session. Continue until at least three winners are found.
INTRODUCTORY STORY - POLITE WORDS
Read the following story. Indicate to students that questions will be asked after the story is completed.
LET'S PARTY
Andy and his classmates had been waiting all day. It seemed like the time would never come. Finally, the clock read 2:45.
Mrs. Tanner announced in a cheerful voice, "Class, as you know we're having our party starting in just a moment. You kids have been great readers. Altogether our class has read 2000 pages during the last month. You certainly have all earned this party for us. A few rules though. You may eat and drink any of the treats you've brought but please, try not to spill anything. You may also play any of the games you brought to school but, by all means, share and follow the rules.(
"All right!" yelled Andy. "Let the party begin."
Mrs. Tanner stared at Andy with a piercing glare. She then looked at the whole class. "If I find anyone being rowdy, they can spend the rest of the day doing math problems."
Mrs. Tanner's students moved to the back of the classroom where they had put their treats when arriving at school. With bags of chips, cookies, candy and soda pop in hand, the students spread throughout the classroom to play games. Two boys moved to a table to begin playing checkers while another group took out clay and began crafting a variety of objects. A group in the corner colored pictures while several students used legos to build a city. Mrs. Tanner was pleased with the manner in which her students shared both treats and games.
Sue Anderson, a tiny red haired girl with freckles and a big smile, walked up to Andy. "Do you want one of my chocolate chip cookies Andy? My mom made them and they're great."
Andy ripped the bag from Sue's hand and grabbed a handful of cookies. After stuffing the cookies in his mouth, Andy tossed the bag to Sue. Surprised by Andy's actions, Sue dropped the bag. Cookies scattered about the floor.
"You're a real klutz, Sue. Remind me not to pick you for softball." stated Andy.
Andy walked over to Jake and Stan who were playing cards. "Hey, I play the winner," he mumbled through a mouthful of cookies."
Jake and Stan looked up. The curious expression on their faces immediately told Andy the two boys had not understood him. Andy swallowed hard and stated in a loud voice. "I said I play the winner."
Jake and Stan looked down at their cards and said nothing. Andy was surprised by their unfriendliness and decided to find someone else to play with.
Dorothy Jones waved at Andy from across the room. She then motioned for Andy to come over to her table where she was cutting out figures for the bulletin board. Dorothy lived next door to Andy and the two often played together.
"So what are you doing this for?" asked Andy in a demanding voice. "You're supposed to be doing something fun."
"Oh, I am having fun." said Dorothy with a smile. "I like to help Mrs. Tanner."
"Yeah, right!" responded Andy in a nasty voice.
"Hey Andy, thanks for helping us mow the lawn last weekend. You were a life saver," stated Dorothy.
"So what's the big deal about that?" asked Andy, a sneer covering his face.
"It's no big deal Andy. My mom just thought it was nice. I did too."
"Yea." said Andy. He looked at Dorothy for a moment and then looked away. "Well, I'm going to find something to play."
For the remainder of the party Andy walked about the room watching other students play a variety of games. By the time the bell rang he had not yet played a game.
"Boy, people in this class sure are rude." thought Andy to himself.
STORY DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
1. Why didn't Andy play any games during the class party?
ANSWER: Accept any reasonable answer.
He was rude to other students and as a result no one invited him.
2. Andy was at times rude during the party. What did he do that was rude and what should he have done differently?
ANSWER:
Andy did not thank Sue Anderson when she asked if he wanted a cookie.
Andy grabbed the bag of cookies from Sue and threw them back at her.
He should have politely taken the bag and handed it back to Sue.
Andy did not ask politely to join the game.
When Dorothy thanked Andy for mowing the lawn, Andy should have said, "You're welcome."
3. Would you want Andy to play in your game?
ANSWER: Probably not.
4. If Andy was your friend and he complained that no one was being friendly, what would you suggest he do differently?
ANSWER: Stop being rude.
Start using polite words.
STUDENT BRAINSTORMING - IDENTIFYING POLITE WORDS
Mention to students that in the story, Andy did not use polite words. Indicate to students that there are four polite words Andy could have used. Ask students to identify the four polite words. Write responses on the board.
POLITE WORDS
Please
Thank you
You're welcome
Excuse me or pardon me
STUDENT DESCRIPTIONS OF USING POLITE WORDS
Ask students to cite examples of when they have used polite words. Discuss good consequences that may have followed use of polite words.
SKILL DEFINITIONS - POLITE WORDS
Describe the following formula for using please, thank you and you're welcome. Refer to the poster entitled Polite Words found in Appendix A.
Please, thank you and you’re welcome:
Look friendly.
Make eye contact.
Smile.
Use a friendly voice.
Say, "Please." or "Thank you" or "You're welcome."
Say the person's name if you know it.
Describe the following formula for using excuse me or pardon me. Again, show and refer to the poster during instruction.
Excuse me or pardon me:
Make eye contact.
Have a serious face.
Use a serious voice.
Say, "Excuse me." or "Pardon me."
Say the person's name if you know it.
MODEL SKILLS AND DEMONSTRATE EXAMPLES AND NONEXAMPLES
Instruct students that you will show how to use polite words in several role plays. Indicate that after each example you will ask students what you did correctly or well. Using volunteer students, demonstrate a few examples of using polite words. Situations are provided below or ask students to suggest situations.
Indicate to students that you will now role play examples that may contain errors. Instruct students to be prepared to provide a grade for each role play and justification for the grade. Stress that the grade is provided for your performance, not that of volunteer students. Randomly role play examples and nonexamples. Make reference to the steps in the poster when discussing each role play.
SITUATIONS FOR USE IN ROLE PLAYS
PLEASE:
Ask a person to hand you a pencil.
Ask a person to help you pick up a box.
Ask a person to open the door for you.
Ask your teacher to show you how to solve a math problem.
THANK YOU:
A friend retrieves a ball you overthrew.
A person opens a door for you.
A parent bakes a special dessert for you.
The school secretary gives you a Band-Aid for a cut.
YOU'RE WELCOME:
A friend thanks you for sharing a game with him/her.
Your mom thanks you for making your bed.
Your teacher thanks you for taking a note to the office.
A friend thanks you for helping him clean his aquarium.
EXCUSE ME/PARDON ME:
While walking down the hall you bump into another person.
You accidentally knock books off another student's desk.
While playing catch you throw a ball over your friend's head.
You walk in front of your brother who is watching television.
SITUATIONS THAT REQUIRE USE OF ALL THE POLITE WORDS:
You are carrying a box of books back to the room. The custodian is outside the closed door to the room. He’s cleaning the window to the door. You need his help to open the door.
Your big brother, Alex, is playing video games. You need to interrupt him to request his help to carry a ladder upstairs to your bedroom so that you can change a light bulb in the ceiling light.
You and a friend, Mario, are carrying a huge aquarium housing two large turtles into your apartment. The door is closed and you don’t want to put down the aquarium. A girl, Maria, is seated a few feet away reading a novel. You really need her help right now.
You wish to ask your teacher, who is grading papers, a question.
RATIONALES GENERATED BY STUDENTS TO SUPPORT USE OF POLITE WORDS
Ask students to identify reasons for using polite words. Write summaries of student responses on the board.
EXAMPLES:
Shows you care about another person.
More likely people will like you.
Will have more friends.
More likely people will be polite to you.
It feels good.
When you say please, people will more likely say yes when you ask for something.
When you say excuse me people don't get as upset.
It shows respect for others.
STUDENT ROLE PLAYS
Ask volunteer students to role play use of polite words. Use situations described above or those provided by students.
Encourage the class to give applause and to provide corrective feedback. Point to definitions on the poster when reviewing skill performance.
CLASSWIDE ROLE PLAYS (OPTIONAL):
This is a lengthy, but highly valuable, activity that can be completed in an extended session or in a separate session in which a couple of previously taught skills are reviewed. A great deal of structure is required as student attention can easily be lost.
The activity involves breaking the class into groups of three students. Each group role plays the skill of using polite words in various situations provided by the instructor. Use situations identified above or those provided by students.
Detailed instructions are provided in Lesson Two on page 21. Those directions can be adapted for the skill of using polite words.
COOPERATIVE LEARNING ACTIVITY (OPTIONAL):
As with classwide role plays, this activity requires an extended session length or can be completed in a separate session. This is a valuable activity that requires not only review of the social skill being taught, but use of other social skills as students work together to accomplish a goal. Again, a great deal of structure is needed to maintain student attention.
This activity involves students working in groups of three to complete a story starter activity found in Appendix B. After a story ending is written, each group is asked to read their story and provide a role play of the story content to the class.
Detailed instructions are provided in Lesson Two on page 22. Those directions can be adapted for the purpose of this lesson.
CLASSWIDE CONTRACTING
Instruct students to be people smart by using polite words prior to the next social skills session.
Describe that at the outset of the next session, the names of three students will be randomly selected from the jar containing names of class members. If a selected student is able to describe use of the skill of polite words and perform a role play, he/she will earn a surprise reward.
Provide rewards, such as candy or school implements, to winners identified at the start of the session.
A poster with the definition of polite words can be found in Appendix A. Place the poster in a prominent location in the classroom.
REVIEW EXERCISE TO BE COMPLETED BEFORE NEXT SESSION (OPTIONAL):
Review the skill of using polite words at some point prior to the next session. Ask students to write an ending to the story starter provided on the following page. Instruct students that the ending should describe the main character being people smart by using polite words.
STORY WRITING ACTIVITY
DIRECTIONS: Please write an ending to the story below. Describe the main character, Jose, being people smart by using polite words to solve his problem.
Catching a Lunker
Jose never dreamed he’d catch a fish this big. Jose was fishing at a pond near his house. Several boys were fishing about 20 yards away. Suddenly, Jose’s line went tight as a huge catfish grabbed his bait. The fight was on! Jose struggled with the giant fish for several minutes. Finally, he had it near shore ready to be netted. Uh oh! His net was under a tree several yards away. Jose decided he’d interrupt the other boys who were fishing at the pond. He ………….
LESSON TEN
EXPRESSING GRATITUDE
LESSON OVERVIEW
PURPOSE: To provide students knowledge of when to express gratitude and a socially acceptable method.
SKILL DEFINITION:
EXPRESSING GRATITUDE:
Expressing gratitude means saying thank-you to someone for doing something helpful or special.
SKILL STEPS:
Eye contact
Friendly voice
Say person’s name
Say “Thank-you.”
Tell person what you are thanking them for.
INSTRUCTIONAL SEQUENCE:
Review content of previous session
Drawing for homework winners
Introductory story
Story discussion questions
Skill definition – Expressing Gratitude
Model Skill
Student examples and rationales for expressing gratitude
Student role plays
Classwide role plays (optional)
Cooperative learning activity (optional)
Classwide contracting
Review exercise to be completed before next lesson (optional)
ESTIMATED TIME: 30 – 50 minutes
LESSON TEN
EXPRESSING GRATITUDE
REVIEW CONTENT OF PREVIOUS SESSION
Briefly describe the story, Let's Party, from the previous session. Ask students to describe the four polite words taught during Session Eight. Also, ask students to identify good consequences that often result from using polite words.
SKILLS TAUGHT:
PLEASE, THANK YOU, YOU'RE WELCOME
Look friendly.
Make eye contact.
Smile .
Use a friendly voice.
Say “Please”, “Thank you.” or “You're welcome.”
Say the person's name if you know it.
EXCUSE ME/PARDON ME
Make eye contact.
Have a serious face.
Use a serious voice.
Say, "I'm sorry." or "Excuse me."
Say the person's name if you know it.
DRAWING FOR HOMEWORK WINNERS
Request that a student who is listening effectively, as described in Session One, draw from the jar containing student names. The selected student is asked to identify if he/she used one or more polite words since the last session. If the student is able to describe use of a polite word and is able to act out a role play, he/she wins a surprise reward at the end of the session. Emphasize the good consequences that result from using polite words. Continue until at least three winners are found.
INTRODUCTORY STORY – EXPRESSING GRATITUDE
Read the following story. Indicate to students that questions will be asked after the story is completed.
The Tetherball Mystery
A cold rain splashed off Jake Anderson’s hair and ran down his face. Most of Jake’s classmates had long ago sought shelter under the over hanging roof of Washington Elementary School. But not Jake. He hardly noticed the cold rain, driving wind or lightening that danced across a dark, cloud laden sky. Jake was far too busy punching a tetherball to notice the foul weather. With great skill, Jake reached back and sent his fist exploding into the white leather of the tetherball as the deafening roar of thunder shook the ground. The ball carried the attached rope frantically around the pole, finally drawing the ball tight against the top of the pole. Jake danced about in glee. He then caught the eye of his good friend, Sam Matthews, as the boys instantly darted for the safety of the building.
Later that day as rain dripped down the window of his fourth grade classroom, Jake studied the tetherball courts. Where did the tether balls go after recess? Every pole stood empty of ball and rope. This was the case every day when Jake peered out the window. Who took those tether balls and who brought them back before the start of every recess? This was a mystery that filled Jake’s mind now as it had for many days.
“Jake, you won’t find the answer to those math problems out in the rain,” stated Jake’s teacher, Mrs. Dalrymple, in a sharp voice. “You’d better get busy or you’ll have more homework than you want.”
Jake focused his attention again on a page of fifty multiplication problems. After completing a row, he again tried to solve the problem of the vanishing tether balls. Who took them, and why? Could it be one of the safety patrol members? Not likely he decided. Their sixth grade teachers would never let them escape from class. Well how about Mrs. Curtis, the Principal? No way he concluded. She was barely taller than he was and could never reach the top of the poles to remove the rope. Besides, she would have broken her neck trying. His mind considered other suspects when Mrs. Dalrymple suddenly approached.
“Okay Jake, what is going on inside that brain? I know you’re not thinking about math,” stated Mrs. Dalrymple in a stern voice.
“Mrs. Dalrymple, something strange is happening around here. Something really weird. Perhaps you’ve noticed?”
“The only thing I’ve noticed Jake is that those math problems are not completed,” snapped Mrs. Dalrymple.
“But Mrs. Dalrymple! Really. Somebody keeps taking the tether balls,” exclaimed Jake in a voice filled with emotion.
“Jake, what in the world are you talking about?”
“Well look outside Mrs. Dalrymple,” stated Jake while pointing through the water covered window to the tetherball courts. “See, someone took all the tether balls. It happens after every recess.”
“Jake!” shrieked Mrs. Dalrymple. “Of course the tether balls are gone. Mr. Erickson, our custodian, takes them down after every recess and puts them back up just before the next recess.”
“Why?” asked Jake in surprise.
“Jake, Mr. Erickson wants to make sure you’ll always have a tetherball to play with. He takes them down so they don’t get wet or frozen or so they don’t rot in the hot sun.”
“Wow, that’s really nice of Mr. Erickson,” observed Jake.
“Yes Jake, Mr. Erickson does so many great things to help us all. Maybe you should think about thanking him since there is no one else in the school who loves those tether balls more than you,” suggested Mrs. Dalrymple, a slight smile gracing her face.
Wow! That’s a terrific idea, Mrs Dalrymple.”
“Jake, I have even a more terrific idea,” stated Jake’s teacher. How about getting that math done?”
Later that day Jake saw Mr. Erickson cleaning tables in the lunch room with some sixth grade volunteers. Jake wanted very badly to act upon Mrs. Dalrymple’s suggestion to thank Mr. Erickson. He started to walk toward Mr. Erickson in order to thank him but then decided he didn’t know what to say. Instead, he turned around, headed out the doors to the playground and ran to the tetherball court.
STORY DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:
1. What is Jake’s favorite playground activity?
ANSWER: Tetherball
2. What was making Mrs. Dalrymple upset during math?
ANSWER: Jake was not paying attention.
Jake was not learning.
3. Why doesn’t Jake thank Mr. Erickson for taking care of the tether balls?
ANSWER: He doesn’t know what to say.
He’s embarrassed or nervous to say thank-you.
4. Who are some people you can thank and what can you thank them for?
ANSWER: Accept any reasonable response.
5. What should Jake have said when he thanked Mr. Erickson?
ANSWER: Accept any reasonable response.
SKILL DEFINITION - EXPRESSING GRATITUDE
Show the poster entitled Expressing Gratitude found in Appendix A.
EXPRESSING GRATITUDE:
Expressing gratitude means saying thank-you to someone for doing something helpful or special.
SKILL STEPS:
Eye contact
Friendly voice
Say person’s name
Say “Thank-you.”
Tell person what you are thanking them for
MODEL SKILL:
Instruct students that you will show how to express gratitude the people smart way in several role plays. Indicate that after each example you will ask students what you did correctly or well. Situations are provided below or ask students to suggest situations.
Role Play Situations:
Expressing gratitude to …..
1. the school custodian for keeping the school spotless
2. a grandparent who never forgets your birthday
3. a friend who often lets you use his video game
4. a neighbor who lets you open his gate to retrieve your ball
5. your Mom for making the world’s best chocolate chip cookies
6. a teacher who organized the school play
7. a coach of an athletic team you play for
8. a dance teacher
9. a friend who lets you ride his bike since yours has been broken
10. the school crossing guard for keeping you and your friends safe
STUDENT EXAMPLES OF AND RATIONALES FOR EXPRESSING GRATITUDE:
Ask students to share experiences with expressing gratitude. Also, ask students to identify positive consequences that resulted from using this people smart skill. Note that often a person to whom we express gratitude for an act is more likely to repeat the act. It may be helpful to initially provide a personal example of expressing gratitude.
STUDENT ROLE PLAYS
Ask volunteer students to role play use of expressing gratitude. Use situations described above or those provided by students.
Encourage the class to give applause and to provide corrective feedback. Point to skill steps on the poster when reviewing skill performance.
CLASSWIDE ROLE PLAYS (OPTIONAL):
This is a lengthy, but highly valuable, activity that can be completed in an extended session or in a separate session in which a couple of previously taught skills are reviewed. A great deal of structure is required as student attention can easily be lost.
The activity involves breaking the class into groups of three students. Each group role plays the skill of expressing gratitude for various situations provided by the instructor. Use situations identified above or those provided by students.
Detailed instructions are provided in Lesson Two on page 21. Those directions can be adapted for the skill of expressing gratitude.
COOPERATIVE LEARNING ACTIVITY (OPTIONAL):
As with classwide role plays, this activity requires an extended session length or can be completed in a separate session. This is a valuable activity that requires not only review of the social skill being taught, but use of other social skills as students work together to accomplish a goal. Again, a great deal of structure is needed to maintain student attention.
This activity involves students working in groups of three to complete a story starter activity found in Appendix B. After a story ending is written, each group is asked to read their story and provide a role play of the story content to the class.
Detailed instructions are provided in Lesson Two on page 22. Those directions can be adapted for the purpose of this lesson.
CLASSWIDE CONTRACTING
Instruct students to be people smart by expressing gratitude prior to the next social skills session. Describe that at the outset of the next session, the names of three students will be randomly selected from the jar containing names of class members. If a selected student is able to describe use of the expressing gratitude skill and perform a role play, he/she will earn a surprise reward.
Provide rewards, such as candy or school implements, to winners identified at the start of the session.
A poster with the definition of expressing gratitude can be found in Appendix A. Place the poster in a prominent location in the classroom.
REVIEW EXERCISE TO BE COMPLETED BEFORE NEXT SESSION (OPTIONAL):
Review the skill of expressing gratitude at some point prior to the next session. Ask students to write an ending to the story starter provided on the following page. Instruct students that the ending should describe the main character being people smart by expressing gratitude.
STORY WRITING ACTIVITY
DIRECTIONS: Please write an ending to the story below. Describe the main character, Amy, being people smart by expressing gratitude.
Homework Helper
Amy always likes to get good grades. Amy sure is glad her big brother, Alex, is so generous. He helps Amy with any problem with homework and recently even made a practice test she could take for math. Amy decides to express gratitude to Alex. She finds Alex playing a video game at the computer. Amy …..
LESSON ELEVEN
COMPLIMENTING
LESSON OVERVIEW
PURPOSE: To provide students the skills to effectively compliment others and an understanding of the importance and benefits of complimenting.
DEFINITION OF COMPLIMENTING: Complimenting is saying something nice about someone.
SKILL DEFINITION:
COMPLIMENTING
1. Make eye contact.
2. Smile.
3. Use an excited voice.
4. Say the person's name.
5. Tell the person what you like.
6. The person who is complimented should say, "Thank you."
INSTRUCTIONAL SEQUENCE:
Review content of previous session
Drawing for homework winners
Introductory story - complimenting
Story discussion questions
Student poll – favor Sam or Alvin for your team?
Class Discussion – why students want Sam on their team
Define complimenting
Student brainstorming - behaviors that comprise an effective compliment
Skill definition - complimenting
Model skill and demonstrate examples and nonexamples
Rationales generated by students for complimenting
Student role plays
Classwide role plays (optional)
Cooperative learning activity (optional)
Classwide contracting
Review exercises to be completed before next session (optional)
SESSION LENGTH: Approximately 30 - 50 minutes
LESSON ELEVEN
COMPLIMENTING
REVIEW CONTENT OF PREVIOUS SESSION
Briefly describe the story, The Tetherball Mystery, from the previous session. Ask students to describe the steps for expressing gratitude. Also, ask students to identify good consequences that often result from expressing gratitude.
SKILL DEFINITION - EXPRESSING GRATITUDE
Show the poster entitled Expressing Gratitude found in Appendix A.
EXPRESSING GRATITUDE:
Expressing gratitude means saying thank-you to someone for doing something helpful or special.
SKILL STEPS:
Eye contact
Friendly voice
Say person’s name
Say “Thank-you.”
Tell person what you are thanking them for.
DRAWING FOR HOMEWORK WINNERS
Request that a student who is listening effectively, as described in Session One, draw from the jar containing student names. The selected student is asked to identify if he/she expressed gratitude since the last session. If the student is able to describe use of the expressing gratitude skill and is able to act out a role play, he/she wins a surprise reward at the end of the session. Emphasize the good consequences that result from expressing gratitude. These can be as simple as feeling good. Continue until at least three winners are found.
INTRODUCTORY STORY - COMPLIMENTING
Before reading this story, write the names of the two characters, Sam and Alvin, on the board. Indicate to students that questions will be asked after the story is completed.
“NICE SHOT”
Sam has lots of friends. When he sees someone doing something well, he tells the person what a great job he or she is doing. Today on the playground, Sam played basketball with a group of friends. When a person made a shot or a good pass, Sam happily described how well his teammate played. Sam often is heard saying, "Nice shot!" or "Super pass!" He also gives lots of high fives to his teammates and cheers them on. Sam isn't a very good basketball player but other kids often want him on their team. When Sam does make a good shot or a good pass, his teammates usually congratulate him and give him a high five.
Alvin also plays basketball. Alvin is an outstanding player who does almost everything well. He often makes three point shots and dribbles the ball with great skill. Alvin runs like a deer and jumps like a jackrabbit. Yesterday, Alvin passed the ball several times behind his back to a teammate and even scored the winning point in a game at recess. Alvin is a nice boy. However, he doesn't tell teammates they are doing a good job. When a teammate makes a great shot, Alvin merely turns around and heads down the court to play defense. When Alvin makes a great shot, his teammates often do not say anything.
STORY DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
1. What do Sam and Alvin both do?
ANSWER: Play basketball.
2. What does Sam do that Alvin does not do?
ANSWER: Sam tells his friends when they are doing a good job. Alvin does not.
2. What does Alvin do that Sam does not do?
ANSWER: Alvin shoots, dribbles and plays very well.
3. Why do Sam's teammates often congratulate him and give him a high five when he makes a shot?
ANSWER: He tells them when they are doing well and gives them high fives.
4. Why do other kids often want Sam on their team?
ANSWER: He makes playing fun.
5. Sam is not a very good basketball player. How does Sam help his team?
ANSWER: He encourages his teammates to play well. He makes them want to play hard and play as a team.
STUDENT POLL – FAVOR SAM OR ALVIN FOR YOUR TEAM?
Indicate to the students that they are on a basketball team with only four players. One more player is needed to complete the team. Take a poll (show of hands) to determine how many students want Sam on their team. Then take a poll (show of hands) to determine how many students want Alvin on their team. Write the corresponding number of votes under the name of each story character, Sam and Alvin, on the board.
Almost without exception, the great majority of students in a class will pick Sam to be on their team. Act surprised and baffled. Explain to the students that a mistake must have been made. Clarify that Alvin is a great ball player. Sam is only an average ball player. Compare Alvin to NBA superstars (e.g., LeBron James). Retake the poll. Again, almost invariably most student will pick Sam over Alvin.
CLASS DISCUSSION – WHY STUDENTS WANT SAM ON THEIR TEAM
Ask students to explain why they want Sam instead of Alvin on their team. Write responses on the board. Clarify that it is often more fun to play with Sam because he makes everyone feel good.
Ask how Sam helps a team. Summarize student responses into the conclusion that Sam is like a cheerleader on the floor – he helps everyone enjoy playing and to play together as a team.
Finish the discussion with the statement that Sam is popular because he compliments other players.
DEFINE COMPLIMENTING
Mention that in the story Sam often compliments his teammates. As a result, he has lots of friends.
Write the word “compliment” on the board. Ask students to define the word. Write responses on the board.
Acknowledge that student responses on the board describe the word compliment well. Suggest that the list can be summarized into the following definition. Show the poster entitled complimenting which can be found in Appendix A.
Complimenting is saying something nice about someone.
Compliment several students as examples.
STUDENT BRAINSTORMING - BEHAVIORS THAT COMPRISE AN EFFECTIVE COMPLIMENT
Choose a volunteer student to play the role of someone winning a race by running across a finish line. The instructor compliments the person's accomplishment. Role play two examples. In the first role play, provide an enthusiastic compliment describing the runner as fast and a champion. In the second role play use a quiet, unemotional voice and only say, "Good job." without making eye contact or saying the person’s name.
Take a poll asking students to identify if they liked the first or the second compliment best. Ask students to identify what made the first compliment more appealing. Write responses on the board.
SKILL DEFINITION - COMPLIMENTING
Summarize student responses into the following five step definition. Point out each step on the complimenting poster found in Appendix A.
COMPLIMENTING
1. Make eye contact.
2. Smile.
3. Use an excited voice.
4. Say the person's name.
5. Tell the person what you like.
6. The person who is complimented should say, "Thank you."
MODEL SKILL AND DEMONSTRATE EXAMPLES AND NONEXAMPLES
Instruct students that you will demonstrate appropriate complimenting in several role plays. Recruit volunteer students. Compliment volunteers according to the steps identified above. Instruct volunteers to respond to the compliment by saying, "Thank you." After each role play, review if each skill step was employed. Situations are described below or role play situation suggested by students.
Indicate to students that you will now role play examples that may contain errors. Instruct students to be prepared to provide a grade for each role play and justification for the grade. Stress that the grade is provided for your performance, not that of volunteer students. In nonexamples, omit such steps as saying the person's name or describing the desirable behavior.
SITUATIONS:
1. A classmate receives an (A( on a math test.
2. A boy or girl voluntarily retrieves a ball which you overthrew while playing catch with a friend.
3. A boy or girl is wearing clothing that you find attractive.
4. A student draws a beautiful picture of a horse.
5. A student hits a home run in a softball game.
6. A classmate jumps rope for several minutes without stopping.
7. A classmate explains the solution to a math problem in an understandable manner.
RATIONALES GENERATED BY STUDENTS FOR COMPLIMENTING
Ask students to provide rationales for complimenting . Write student responses on the board.
EXAMPLES:
Helps a person make new friends.
Strengthens friendships.
Others more likely to compliment you.
Makes others feel good.
Makes you feel good.
More likely you will be invited to participate in games and activities.
The more you compliment, the easier it is to compliment in the future.
STUDENT ROLE PLAYS
Ask volunteer students to role play use of the complimenting skill. Use situations described above or those provided by students.
Encourage the class to give applause and to provide corrective feedback. Point to skill steps on the poster when reviewing skill performance.
CLASSWIDE ROLE PLAYS (OPTIONAL):
This is a lengthy, but highly valuable, activity that can be completed in an extended session or in a separate session in which a couple of previously taught skills are reviewed. A great deal of structure is required as student attention can easily be lost.
The activity involves breaking the class into groups of three students. Each group role plays the skill of complimenting for various situations provided by the instructor. Use situations identified above or those provided by students.
Detailed instructions are provided in Lesson Two on page 21. Those directions can be adapted for the skill of complimenting.
COOPERATIVE LEARNING ACTIVITY (OPTIONAL):
As with classwide role plays, this activity requires an extended session length or can be completed in a separate session. This is a valuable activity that requires not only review of the social skill being taught, but use of other social skills as students work together to accomplish a goal. Again, a great deal of structure is needed to maintain student attention.
This activity involves students working in groups of three to complete a story starter activity found in Appendix B. After a story ending is written, each group is asked to read their story and provide a role play of the story content to the class.
Detailed instructions are provided in Lesson Two on page 22. Those directions can be adapted for the purpose of this lesson.
CLASSWIDE CONTRACTING
Instruct students to be people smart by complimenting prior to the next social skills session. Describe that at the outset of the next session, the names of three students will be randomly selected from the jar containing names of class members. If a selected student is able to describe use of the complimenting skill and perform a role play, he/she will earn a surprise reward.
Provide rewards, such as candy or school implements, to winners identified at the start of the session.
A poster with the definition of complimenting can be found in Appendix A. Place the poster in a prominent location in the classroom.
REVIEW EXERCISE TO BE COMPLETED BEFORE NEXT SESSION (OPTIONAL):
Review the skill of complimenting at some point prior to the next session. Ask students to write an ending to the story starter provided on the following page. Instruct students that the ending should describe the main character being people smart by complimenting.
STORY WRITING ACTIVITY
DIRECTIONS: Please write an ending to the story below. Describe the main character, Tony, being people smart by complimenting.
Fast Wheels
Tony couldn’t wait for the bike race to begin. Several days ago he and many other students from his class agreed to a race around the park. The course was over two miles long. When the race began, Tony jumped out to a big lead. However, in time his legs tired. Finally near the finish line Tony’s good friend Andy flew ahead of Tony to win the race. Tony crossed the finish line a moment later. He rode his bike up to Andy who was panting hard. Tony …….
LESSON TWELVE
EXPRESSING SYMPATHY
LESSON OVERVIEW
PURPOSE: To provide students the skill of expressing sympathy and knowledge of when to use the skill.
SKILL DEFINITION – EXPRESSING SYMPATHY:
Eye contact.
Serious face and voice.
Say how you feel
Tell the person what you feel sad about
Ask if you can help.
INSTRUCTIONAL SEQUENCE:
Review content of previous session
Skill definition – expressing sympathy
Drawing for homework winners
Introductory story – expressing sympathy
Story discussion questions
Sharing experiences of loss and what helped
Skill definition – expressing sympathy
Model skill and demonstrate examples and non-examples
Student role plays
Classwide role plays (optional)
Cooperative learning activity (optional)
Classwide contracting
Review exercise to be completed before next session (optional)
ESTIMATED TIME: 30 – 50 minutes
LESSON TWELVE
EXPRESSING SYMPATHY
REVIEW CONTENT OF PREVIOUS SESSION
Briefly describe the story, Nice Shot, from the previous session. Ask students to describe the steps for complimenting. Also, ask students to identify good consequences that often result from complimenting.
SKILL DEFINITION - COMPLIMENTING
Show the poster entitled Complimenting found in Appendix A.
COMPLIMENTING
1. Make eye contact.
2. Smile.
3. Use an excited voice.
4. Say the person's name.
5. Tell the person what you like.
6. The person who is complimented should say, "Thank you."
DRAWING FOR HOMEWORK WINNERS
Request that a student who is listening effectively, as described in Session One, draw from the jar containing student names. The selected student is asked to identify if he/she used the complimenting skill since the last session. If the student is able to describe use of the complimenting skill and is able to act out a role play, he/she wins a surprise reward at the end of the session. Emphasize the good consequences that result from complimenting. Continue until at least three winners are found.
INTRODUCTORY STORY – EXPRESSING SYMPATHY
Goodbye to Panda
Amy Sanders skipped along First Avenue on her way to school. A brilliant sun lit up trees dressed in fall colors of red, orange and yellow. The cheerful sunlight provided warmth on this nippy fall morning. As Amy skipped she watched leaves fluttter to the ground from giant maple and ash trees that lined First Avenue. Dried leaves crunched beneath her feet as Amy breathed in the fresh scent of fall. It was a perfect day.
Amy suddenly stopped when she thought she heard her name called. She waited a moment and was about to continue her journey along the leaf cluttered path when she heard her name once again. This time it was a bit louder. Amy turned to look back up First Avenue. There she saw her friends Amanda and Alex running with great speed toward her.
“Amy, wait for us,” they yelled in hoarse voices. “We need to tell you something important.”
“I’ll bet they want some help with that awful math homework Mrs. Anderson assigned,” thought Amy. “Or at least they want to complain about it.”
As Amanda and Alex grew close Amy shouted, “I’ll bet you two want me to help you with that math homework we had last night. Wasn’t it ugly?”
Suddenly Amy was startled to see tears running down Amanda’s red cheeks. Alex wore a serious look.
“What’s the matter?” asked Amy in alarm. “What happened?”
“Oh Amy, you won’t believe what happened. Amanda struggled to continue talking. Through tears she stated, “It’s Panda .... she, she.” Amanda burst into tears.
“Panda got hit by a car this morning,” stated Alex in a mournful voice. Panda’s dead!”
The news hit Amy like a truck. Panda was Adam Jones’ springer spaniel and as much a friend as any of the kids in the neighborhood. Amy remembered the many times she had played tug of war with Panda. Panda was always there when the children played ball in the park. Just yesterday Panda chased Amy and her friends as they flew kites in the park. Tears now filled Amy’s eyes as the three students slowly and silently continued their walk to school.
Later that day, as Amy exited the lunch line with a full tray of food, she spotted Adam. He was seated alone in the corner of the lunch room.
“Oh, poor Adam,” said Amy to herself. “He must feel awful.”
Amy slowly strolled to Adam’s table. As she sat down their eyes met. Adam’s eyes were still red from tears. Amy wanted very badly to say something that would make Adam feel better. She struggled to find the words that would help her friend.
STORY DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:
1. Why did Amy suddenly stop as she walked along First Avenue?
ANSWER: She heard the voices of her friends, Alex and Amanda calling her from a distance.
2. What made Amy suddenly understand that something awful had happened?
ANSWER: Alex and Amanda had tears in their eyes and wore serious expressions on their faces.
3. Why couldn’t Amanda finish her sentence when she wanted to tell Amy about Panda?
ANSWER: She was too upset to speak.
4. Was it a good idea for Amy to try to talk to Adam? Why?
ANSWER: Yes, she might be able to make Adam feel better. Also, talking to Adam might make her feel better. It is important that friends help friends.
5. In what way is Amy sharing as she talks to Adam?
ANSWER: She is sharing her time and giving help to Adam by letting him know that she feels sad.
6. What could Amy say to make Adam feel better?
ANSWER: Accept any reasonable response.
SHARING EXPERIENCES OF LOSS AND WHAT HELPED
Start a discussion about coping with loss by asking the questions that follow. Be prepared to share personal experiences in order to stimulate a discussion.
1. When have you experienced a loss? Perhaps a family member died, a pet died or you lost something very valuable. How did you feel?
2. What made you feel better when you felt sad?
3. Have you ever felt awkward and didn’t know what to say when a friend is sad?
SKILL DEFINITION – EXPRESSING SYMPATHY:
Show the poster entitled Expressing Sympathy found in Appendix A. Review each skill step. Afterward have the class read the poster in chorus.
EXPRESSING SYMPATHY:
1. Eye contact.
2. Serious face and voice.
3. Say how you feel
“I feel sad that..........”
“I fell sorry that..........”
“I am upset that.........”
“I feel awful that.......”
4. Tell the person what you feel sad about
“I feel sad that your dog died.”
“I feel terrible that your bike was stolen.”
“I am so sorry that you have to be in a cast.”
5. Ask if you can help.
“Is there anything I can do to help?”
“I wish there is something I could do to help.”
MODEL SKILL AND DEMONSTRATE EXAMPLES AND NONEXAMPLES
Instruct students that you will demonstrate the skill of expressing sympathy in several role plays. Recruit volunteer students. Express sympathy according to the steps identified above. After each role play, review if each skill step was employed (show the poster). Use situations described below or role play situations suggested by students.
Indicate to students that you will now role play examples that may contain errors. Instruct students to be prepared to provide a grade for each role play and justification for the grade. Stress that the grade is provided for your performance, not that of volunteer students.
SITUATIONS:
1. Your friend left his bike in the driveway and it was crushed by a car.
2. You are surprised to see your best friend wearing a cast.
3. Your friend’s cat ran away.
4. Your friend’s pet flew out of it’s cage, out a window and has not been seen since.
5. The string on your friend’s kite broke and kite flew off and is now lost.
6. Your friend stepped on her favorite cd and destroyed it
7. Your friend is crying. His or her parents just took away the family trampoline because of too much fighting over it.
8. Your friend’s big brother is moving away to another state and your friend is sad.
9. Your friend is upset because his football just popped after it landed in a rose bush.
10. Your friend received 5 f’s on his report card.
STUDENT ROLE PLAYS
Ask volunteer students to role play use of the expressing sympathy skill. Use situations described above or those provided by students.
Encourage the class to give applause and to provide corrective feedback. Point to the skill steps on the poster when reviewing skill performance.
CLASSWIDE ROLE PLAYS (OPTIONAL):
This is a lengthy, but highly valuable, activity that can be completed in an extended session or in a separate session in which a couple of previously taught skills are reviewed. A great deal of structure is required as student attention can easily be lost.
The activity involves breaking the class into groups of three students. Each group role plays expressing sympathy in various situations provided by the instructor.
Detailed instructions are provided in Lesson Two on page 21. Those directions can be adapted for the skill of expressing sympathy.
COOPERATIVE LEARNING ACTIVITY (OPTIONAL)
As with classwide role plays, this activity requires an extended session length or can be completed in a separate session. This is a valuable activity that requires not only review of the social skill being taught, but use of other social skills as students work together to accomplish a goal. Again, a great deal of structure is needed to maintain student attention.
This activity involves students working in groups of three to complete a story starter activity found in Appendix B. After a story ending is written, each group is asked to read their story and provide a role play of the story content to the class.
Detailed instructions are provided in Lesson Two on page 22. Those directions can be adapted for the purpose of this lesson.
CLASSWIDE CONTRACTING
Instruct students to express sympathy if an appropriate situation arises prior to the next session.
Describe that at the outset of the next session, the names of three students will be randomly selected from the jar containing names of class members. If a selected student is able to describe use of the expressing sympathy skill, and perform a role play, he/she will earn a surprise reward.
Provide rewards, such as candy or school implements, to winners identified at the start of the session.
A poster with the definition of expressing sympathy can be found in Appendix A. Place the poster in a prominent location in the classroom.
REVIEW EXERCISE TO BE COMPLETED BEFORE NEXT SESSION (OPTIONAL):
Review the skill of expressing sympathy at some point prior to the next session. Ask students to write an ending to the story starter provided on the following page. Instruct students that the ending should describe the main character expressing sympathy the people smart way.
STORY WRITING ACTIVITY
DIRECTIONS: Please write an ending to the story below. Describe the main character, Laurie, being people smart by expressing sympathy.
Gone With the Wind
Laurie couldn’t believe her eyes when she looked down Maple Avenue. Near the end of the block she saw her classmate, Amy, running about trying to pick up papers that were being blown by the wind. Laurie decided to help. Upon arriving at the corner, she could tell Amy was very upset. Amy’s eyes were red and tears streamed down her cheeks.
“Can I help?” asked Laurie.
“No one can help now!” shrieked Amy. “My science fair project is ruined. I spent three weeks on it.”
Laurie wanted to help her classmate. She decided to walk up to Amy and express sympathy.
PART TWO
COPING SKILLS
LESSON THIRTEEN
RELAXING WHEN UPSET
LESSON OVERVIEW
PURPOSE: To provide students a strategy to relax when strong emotions are experienced
SKILL DEFINITION:
RELAXING WHEN UPSET
1. Close your eyes.
2. Slowly take a deep breath.
3. Hold for one second.
4. Slowly and steadily release the air.
5. Repeat until calm.
INSTRUCTIONAL SEQUENCE:
Review content of previous session
Drawing for homework winners
Introductory stories/discussion questions
Student identification of situations that elicit strong emotions
Student brainstorming - identification of helpful responses to strong emotions
Skill definition - relaxing when upset
Model skill
Associate relaxation skill with esteemed models
Classwide practice of relaxation skill
Cooperative learning activity (optional)
Classwide contracting
Review exercise to be completed before next session (optional)
SESSION LENGTH: Approximately 40 minutes
LESSON THIRTEEN
RELAXING WHEN UPSET
REVIEW CONTENT OF PREVIOUS SESSION
Briefly describe the story, Good Bye to Panda from the previous session. Ask students to define the skill of expressing sympathy the people smart way.
EXPRESSING SYMPATHY
1. Eye contact.
2. Serious face and voice.
3. Say how you feel
“I feel sad that..........”
“I fell sorry that..........”
“I am upset that.........”
“I feel awful that.......”
4. Tell the person what you feel sad about
“I feel sad that your dog died.”
“I feel terrible that your bike was stolen.”
“I am so sorry that you have to be in a cast.”
5. Ask if you can help.
“Is there anything I can do to help?”
“I wish there is something I could do to help.”
DRAWING FOR HOMEWORK WINNERS
Review that the homework assignment called for students to express sympathy if an appropriate situation arose. Request that a student who is listening effectively, as described in Session One, draw from the jar containing student names. If the chosen student is able to describe a situation in which he/she expressed sympathy and demonstrate a role play, he/she becomes a homework winner. As a winner, he/she wins a reward at the end of the session.
INTRODUCTORY STORIES – RELAXING WHEN UPSET
Indicate to students that you are going to read four stories. Describe that there is something similar about the four stories. Students are to listen and attempt to decide how the stories are similar or the same. Also, indicate that each story is followed by a series of questions.
AN ANGRY SISTER
Kathy sees her sister, Susan, riding her new bike. Kathy is upset that her sister did not ask her permission to ride it. Kathy watches Susan jump off the bike and push it into a tree. The bike bounces once and lands in a heap on its side. Kathy, blind with rage, runs to her sister and pushes her down. Susan, in tears, runs into the house looking for help from her parents.
QUESTIONS:
1. Did Kathy have good control of herself when she pushed Susan?
ANSWER: No. Kathy was so upset she was unable to
think clearly.
2. Did Kathy make a good choice?
ANSWER: No.
3. What might happen next?
ANSWER: Kathy will get in trouble with her parents.
Kathy's sister will get even.
Kathy will feel guilty
Accept any reasonable response.
HELPLESS ON THE GROUND
Jake is walking down the street toward his friend's house. He turns the corner and is horrified to see a huge, snarling dog, with teeth bared, glaring at him. Overcome with fear, Jake screams, turns around and trips over a garbage can. The dog bounds toward Jake as he lies helpless on the ground.
QUESTIONS:
1. Did Jake have good control of himself?
ANSWER: No.
2. Was Jake able to think before he turned and tried to run? Why not?
ANSWER: Jake was unable to think clearly because he was overcome with fear.
Accept any reasonable response.
SPEECHLESS
Anne wishes she did not qualify for the spelling bee as she stands in front of 300 students in the gymnasium. In a moment, it will be her turn. Anne feels a terrible sickness in her stomach. Her heart pounds, her knees are weak and her legs shake. She feels herself breathing rapidly as Mr. Stewart asks her to spell the word (acrobat(. A bead of perspiration rolls down Anne's face. She is unable to think. She struggles to whisper a few letters into the microphone, then hangs her head, knowing she is disqualified.
QUESTIONS
1. Was Anne in control of herself?
ANSWER: No.
2. Could Anne have spelled the word (acrobat( if she was more relaxed and under better control?
ANSWER: Probably.
TECHNICAL FOUL
Sam's basketball team is playing in the championship game. Sam sees a member of the opposing team drive toward the basket. Sam moves toward the opponent, but the player skillfully slashes past Sam for an easy lay up. Laughing, the player says, "You guys are worthless." Enraged and with heart pounding, Sam pushes the player as he runs down the court. Instantly, the referee blows his whistle, calling a technical foul on Sam and awarding two free throws to the other team.
QUESTIONS
1. Was Sam under control when he pushed the other player?
ANSWER: No.
2. Was Sam thinking clearly?
ANSWER: No. He was so upset he could not think
clearly.
3. What are the consequences for Sam and his team?
ANSWER: His team might lose the game.
Sam's coach and teammates might be upset with him.
Accept any reasonable response.
STUDENT IDENTIFICATION OF SITUATIONS THAT ELICIT STRONG EMOTIONS
Ask students to identify how the four stories are alike. Describe through student responses that each of the story characters was overcome with strong emotions of fear or anger. As a result, they lost emotional control of themselves.
Ask students to identify situations in which they have felt strong emotions and a lack of self control. Student responding will be encouraged by the instructor sharing personal examples.
STUDENT IDENTIFICATION OF PHYSIOLOGICAL EXPERIENCES ASSOCIATED WITH STRONG EMOTIONS
Indicate to students that when strong emotions such as fear or anger are experienced, the body often reacts in a way which can create problems. Ask students to listen again to the story “Speechless,” presented earlier in the session, and identify how the body of the main character (Anne) reacted to fear. Ask students to describe how our bodies respond to strong feelings. Record responses on the board.
EXAMPLES:
Difficulty thinking clearly.
Muscles are tight.
Heart pounds, races.
Tingling feeling.
Sweating.
Rapid breathing, breathless.
Knees or legs shake.
Stomach feels queasy, sick.
Hands shake.
Dry mouth.
Difficulty speaking - stuttering.
Discuss that difficulty thinking clearly may be the reaction that causes the greatest problems for people when they experience strong emotions.
STUDENT BRAINSTORMING - IDENTIFICATION OF HELPFUL RESPONSES TO STRONG EMOTIONS
Ask students to describe how they have maintained control of themselves when they have experienced strong emotions. Discount aggressive acts as examples of losing self control. Record responses on the board.
SKILL DEFINITION - RELAXING WHEN UPSET
Indicate to students that the best way to maintain self control is to relax. Describe that a person cannot be relaxed and experience strong emotions such as fear or anger at the same time. Show the poster entitled Relaxing When Upset, found in Appendix A. Point to each skill step as it is taught.
RELAXING WHEN UPSET
1. Close your eyes.
2. Slowly take a deep breath.
3. Hold for one second.
4. Slowly and steadily release the air.
5. Repeat until calm.
MODEL SKILL
Use a situation described by students earlier in the session to conduct a role play demonstrating use of the relaxation skill. Ask students to monitor if all steps of the relaxation skill are used.
ASSOCIATE RELAXATION SKILL WITH ESTEEMED ROLE MODELS
Indicate to students that athletes frequently use the relaxation skill. Cite the example of basketball players who take a deep breath prior to shooting a free throw. Ask students to cite other examples.
EXAMPLES:
A gymnast before beginning a routine.
A batter before entering the batter's box.
A pitcher before beginning his windup.
A ballerina before she begins dancing.
A marksman before shooting a rifle.
CLASSWIDE PRACTICE OF RELAXATION SKILL
As a class, practice together the deep breathing response. Guide students by instructing them to close eyes, slowly take a deep breath, hold breath and release slowly. Continue for two or three sequences.
Caution students that rapid breathing is to be avoided since it will not result in relaxation and may cause one to feel dizzy.
COOPERATIVE LEARNING ACTIVITY (OPTIONAL):
This activity requires an extended session length or can be completed in a separate session. This is a valuable activity that requires not only review of the social skill being taught, but use of other social skills as students work together to accomplish a goal. Again, a great deal of structure is needed to maintain student attention.
This activity involves students working in groups of three to complete a story starter activity found in Appendix B. After a story ending is written, each group is asked to read their story and provide a role play of the story content to the class.
Detailed instructions are provided in Lesson Two on page 22. Those directions can be adapted for the purpose of this lesson.
CLASSWIDE CONTRACTING
Instruct students to use the relaxation skill when they feel strong emotions or may lose self control.
Describe that at the outset of the next session names will be randomly selected from the jar containing names of class members. If a selected student is able to describe use of the relaxation skill, as well as demonstrate the skill in a role play, he/she will earn a surprise reward.
A poster with the definition of relaxing when upset can be found in Appendix A. Place the poster in a prominent location in the classroom.
Provide rewards, such as candy or school implements, to winners identified at the start of the session.
REVIEW EXERCISE TO BE COMPLETED BEFORE NEXT SESSION (OPTIONAL):
Review the skill of relaxing when upset at some point prior to the next session. Ask students to write an ending to the story starter provided on the following page. Instruct students that the ending should describe the main character using the people smart skill of relaxing when upset.
STORY WRITING ACTIVITY
DIRECTIONS: Please write an ending to the story below. Describe the main character, Andy, being people smart by relaxing when upset.
“Why Can’t I Win?”
Andy loved to play video games. Well, almost always. Today Andy is very upset because he keeps losing to his brother, Mark. Andy feels like screaming. However, Andy decides to relax. First he ……….
LESSON FOURTEEN
EXPRESSING ANGER APPROPRIATELY
LESSON OVERVIEW
PURPOSE: To provide students a skill to express anger in a socially appropriate manner
SKILL DEFINITION:
EXPRESSING ANGER APPROPRIATELY
1. Relax by breathing slowly.
2. Be serious.
Make eye contact.
Use a firm voice.
Have a serious face.
3. Tell the person you are angry.
"I am angry."
"I am mad."
4. Tell the person what made you angry.
5. Don't hurt.
Don't hit, name call or threaten.
INSTRUCTIONAL SEQUENCE:
Review content of previous session
Drawing for homework winners
Introductory story - expressing anger appropriately
Story discussion questions
Student poll and identification of anger as normal
Student identification of anger eliciting situations and physiological responses
Student brainstorming - identification of helpful responses when you feel angry with another person
Skill definition - expressing anger appropriately
Expand step four - tell the person what made you angry
Model skill and demonstrate examples and nonexamples
Student role plays
Classwide role plays (optional)
Cooperative learning activity (optional)
Classwide contracting
Review exercise to be completed before next session (optional)
SESSION LENGTH: Approximately 30 – 50 minutes
LESSON FOURTEEN
EXPRESSING ANGER APPROPRIATELY
REVIEW CONTENT OF PREVIOUS LESSON
Briefly describe the four stories from the previous lesson. Discuss that in each story, a character experienced strong feelings and lost control of himself/herself. As a result a bad decision was made. Ask students to describe the five steps of relaxing when upset.
RELAXING WHEN UPSET
1. Close your eyes.
2. Slowly take a deep breath.
3. Hold for one second.
4. Slowly and steadily release the air.
5. Repeat until calm
DRAWING FOR HOMEWORK WINNERS
Request that a student who is listening effectively, as described in Lesson One, draw from the jar containing student names. The selected student is asked to identify if he/she, since the last session, used the relaxation skill. If the student is able to describe use of the skill, as well as act out a role play, he/she wins a surprise reward at the end of the session. Emphasize the good consequences that result from maintaining self control in the face of strong emotions. Continue until at least three winners are found.
INTRODUCTORY STORY - EXPRESSING ANGER APPROPRIATELY
Read the following story. Indicate to students that questions will be asked after the story is completed.
STRUCK BY LIGHTNING
Jake was walking home one day with his best friend, Mike. Jake was excited to show Mike some of the model airplanes, ships and cars he had displayed in his room. For the last year, Jake had put a great deal of time and effort into building a large collection of models, all of which were put together and painted with great care. Jake was very proud of his collection and greatly enjoyed showing his many models to his friends.
"Wait till you see the model of the aircraft carrier Independence," boasted Jake. "It's my favorite model. I've got lots of little F-18 fighters glued onto the flight deck. It's really cool."
"Hey, that's neat," agreed Mike. "I've never tried to build an aircraft carrier."
Jake and Mike finished the journey to Jake's house, climbed the front steps and happily yelled “hello” to Jake's mom. The pair then quickly flew up the stairs to Jake's room.
Jake was surprised to see his little brother, Andy, playing in his room. "What are you doing in here?" Jake demanded in an irritated voice.
Before Andy could respond, lightning struck. Jake was stunned to see his model of the Independence lying upside down on the floor. F-18 fighters were scattered about it. The radio tower lay as a twisted wreck next to the prized model.
With fury, Jake lunged toward his little brother. "You little jerk," he screamed. "Look what you've done! I'm going into your room and rip up those stupid basketball posters. You're always breaking my stuff."
Tears filled Jake's eyes as he pushed Andy as hard as he could. Andy tumbled helplessly across the bed and onto the floor, hitting the back of his head. Screaming for mom he quickly fled from the room in tears.
"It's ruined," cried Jake as he bent over to inspect the broken plastic that was once the showpiece of his model collection. "Why does he always have to wreck everything?"
"Gosh, he really is a little jerk," agreed Mike.
Within seconds, Jake's mother was at the door of the bedroom. An unhappy frown covered her face. "Jake, you have no business hurting your little brother. Look at the lump on the back of his head."
"But Mom," pleaded Jake.
"I don't want to hear about it!" said Jake's mother in an angry voice. "There is no excuse for hurting him like that. When are you going to learn to control yourself? I'm sorry Mike, Jake will not be able to play now."
STORY DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
1. What did Andy do that upset Jake?
ANSWER: Played in Jake's room without permission and broke Jake's model of the Independence.
2. The title of the story is “Struck by Lightening.” What does “struck by lightening” mean in this story?
ANSWER: Disaster strikes when Jake finds that his brother, Andy, has destroyed the independence.
3. How does Jake feel after pushing his brother?
ANSWER: Upset, embarrassed, guilty.
4. Have you ever felt upset because of the action of a brother or sister? Please explain.
ANSWER: Accept any reasonable response.
5. What might happen next?
ANSWER: Jake is going to be punished (e.g., get grounded).
Andy might try to get even with Jake.
Mike might think that Jake isn't able to control himself.
Jake's mother may not trust Jake to be able to control himself.
6. Who should get in trouble in this story?
ANSWER: Jake should get in trouble for hurting his brother.
Jake’s brother should get in trouble for damaging the independence.
7. What should Jake have done in order to control his temper?
ANSWER: Relax.
STUDENT POLL AND IDENTIFICATION OF ANGER AS COMMON AND NORMAL
Ask students to raise their hand if they have felt angry at some time during the last week. Describe that most people feel angry from time to time. Describe anger as a normal feeling that we all experience.
STUDENT IDENTIFICATION OF ANGER ELICITING SITUATIONS AND PHYSIOLOGICAL RESPONSES
Ask students to describe examples of when they have felt angry. Instruct students not to provide names of classmates or school mates. Clarify the event that elicited anger. It may be helpful for the instructor to share a personal example.
With each example ask the student what happened to his/her body when he/she was very angry. Clarify that we know we are losing control of ourselves when we have the following experiences:
Can’t think clearly Legs shake Voice trembles
Feel hot or flushed Face gets red Start sweating
Hands shake Stuttering Muscles get tight
Clarify that of the above responses, can’t think clearly is the one that often gets us into trouble. Mention that in the story, Jake did not think clearly and got into trouble by hurting his brother.
STUDENT BRAINSTORMING - IDENTIFICATION OF HELPFUL RESPONSES WHEN YOU FEEL ANGRY WITH ANOTHER PERSON
Ask students to identify helpful things to say or do when you feel angry with another person. Clarify that suggestions must meet two conditions. Write these on the board.
1. The action helps you feel better.
2. The action does not get you in trouble.
Ignore attention getting responses that describe significantly inappropriate responses. Write acceptable responses on the board.
SKILL DEFINITION - EXPRESSING ANGER APPROPRIATELY
Indicate to students there are many things one can do to manage anger. Indicate that the following suggestion is helpful to many people and can be done in many situations. Show the poster entitled Expressing Anger Appropriately which is found in Appendix A. Point to each skill step on the poster as it is presented.
EXPRESSING ANGER APPROPRIATELY
1. Relax by breathing slowly.
2. Be serious.
Make eye contact.
Use a firm voice.
Have a serious face.
3. Tell the person you are angry.
"I am angry."
"I am mad."
4. Tell the person what made you angry.
5. Don't hurt.
Don't hit, name call or threaten.
After presenting the five skill steps, have the class read the poster in chorus as you point to each skill step.
EXPAND STEP FOUR - TELL THE PERSON WHAT MADE YOU ANGRY.
Emphasize to students the importance of letting the person know clearly what he or she did to upset you. Describe that this is done by telling exactly what happened, without exaggerating or attempting to make the person feel badly. Name calling is not allowed.
Explain that sometimes the person will apologize or decide not to do the hurtful act again.
Sometimes the person will argue or say it’s not true. Emphasize that this solution does not always work in real life situations.
Ask students to decide if each of the examples below is a good or poor example of letting a person know clearly what he/she did that was upsetting without trying to make the person feel badly. Discuss each item.
SITUATION ONE: Amy is angry at Barbara for not returning her borrowed bike.
1. "Amy, the reason I'm upset is that you borrowed my bike and did not return it."
2. "Amy, you're such a liar. You always take things and say you'll return them but never do."
SITUATION TWO: Omar is angry at his little brother for continuing to ask to play after he explained that he can't.
1. "Omar, why don't you grow up and stop acting like such a little jerk."
2. "Omar, I'm angry because you keep begging me to play when I told you I can't."
SITUATION THREE: Jake is angry at his brother, Tim, who promised to play basketball after school but now refuses to play.
1. "You told me you would play basketball after school and I was counting on you to play."
2. "You never keep your word."
SITUATION FOUR: Maria is angry at her little sister, Wendy, who called her names.
1. "The reason you don't have any friends is that you're rude with everyone."
2. "Wendy, when you call me names in front of my friends I really get angry."
MODEL SKILL AND DEMONSTRATE EXAMPLES AND NONEXAMPLES
Instruct students that you will demonstrate use of the skill in several role plays. Recruit volunteer students. Using situations described by students earlier in the session, or those provided below, model the skill of expressing anger appropriately. After each role play, review if each skill step was employed.
Indicate to students that you will now role play examples that may contain errors. Instruct students to be prepared to provide a grade for each role play and justification for the grade. Stress that the grade is provided for your performance, not that of volunteer students. In nonexamples, omit such steps as relaxing, being serious or telling the person why you are angry.
SITUATIONS:
1. Your friend loses your basketball.
2. You heard your friend talking about you behind your back.
3. Your friend failed to meet you at the park. You waited for an hour in the cold.
4. A classmate runs through a puddle splashing mud all over your clothes.
5. Your younger sister is playing in your room without your permission.
6. You catch a classmate copying one of your papers.
7. Your friend laughed when you were crying after getting stung by a bee.
8. Your younger sister colors all over your math homework.
9. Your friend let his dog out of the back yard. The dog chewed up your football.
10. Your friend laughs and calls you stupid after you get a bad grade on a spelling test.
11. Your takes your bike without asking and brings it back with a flat tire.
STUDENT ROLE PLAYS
Ask volunteer students to role play use of the skill. Use situations provided above or those suggested by students. Emphasize that the student who is playing the role of the offender should apologize, say “I’m sorry” or explain that they will make up for their offense. Ask students to observe and provide corrective feedback. After each role play, review the steps on the skill poster to evaluate if each was used.
It is often helpful to ask the student volunteers if they have an idea of what to say. Indicate that in these role plays the class is to provide assistance and ideas if a student “gets stuck.”
CLASSWIDE ROLE PLAYS (OPTIONAL):
This is a lengthy, but highly valuable, activity that can be completed in an extended session or in a separate session in which a couple of previously taught skills are reviewed. A great deal of structure is required as student attention can easily be lost.
The activity involves breaking the class into groups of three students. Each group role plays expressing anger in various situations provided by the instructor.
Detailed instructions are provided in Lesson Two on page 21. Those directions can be adapted for the skill of expressing anger appropriately.
COOPERATIVE LEARNING ACTIVITY (OPTIONAL):
This activity requires an extended session length or can be completed in a separate session. This is a valuable activity that requires not only review of the social skill being taught, but use of other social skills as students work together to accomplish a goal. Again, a great deal of structure is needed to maintain student attention.
This activity involves students working in groups of three to complete a story starter activity found in Appendix B. After a story ending is written, each group is asked to read their story and provide a role play of the story content to the class.
Detailed instructions are provided in Lesson Two on page 22. Those directions can be adapted for the purpose of this lesson.
CLASSWIDE CONTRACTING
Instruct students to be people smart by using the skill of expressing anger appropriately if, prior to the next session, they find themselves in a situation that causes them to feel a significant amount of anger.
Describe that at the outset of the next session the names of students will be randomly selected from the jar containing names of class members. If a selected student is able to describe use of the skill and provide a demonstration in a role play, he/she will earn a surprise reward.
A poster with the definition of expressing anger appropriately can be found in Appendix A. Place the poster in a prominent location in the classroom.
Provide rewards, such as candy or school implements, to winners identified at the start of
the session.
REVIEW EXERCISE TO BE COMPLETED BEFORE NEXT SESSION (OPTIONAL):
Review the skill of expressing anger appropriately at some point prior to the next session. Ask students to write an ending to the story starter provided below. Instruct students that the ending should describe the main character using the skill of expressing anger the people smart way.
STORY WRITING ACTIVITY
DIRECTIONS: Please write an ending to the following story. Describe how Jane should express her anger the right way to her friend.
ALONE AT THE MOVIES
Jane is ready to blow her top. She is angry at her friend, Jennifer, who promised to meet her at the movies yesterday. Jane waited for a half hour and finally watched the movie all alone.
Jane sees Jennifer get off the school bus and walks over to her.
LESSON FIFTEEN
WHEN SOMEONE SAYS YOU CAN'T PLAY
LESSON OVERVIEW
PURPOSE: To teach students a socially appropriate response when denied access to a game activity.
SKILL DEFINITION:
WHEN SOMEONE SAYS YOU CAN'T PLAY
1. Relax if you are upset.
2. With a friendly voice say, "Okay."
3. Politely ask when you can play, or ask to take turns.
"When can I play?"
"Can I play in the next game?"
"Can I play when you're done?"
4. If your friends still say no, find someone else to play with.
INSTRUCTIONAL SEQUENCE:
Review content of previous session
Drawing for homework winners
Introductory story - when someone says you can't play
Story discussion questions
Student poll - being denied access to a game
Student brainstorming - best response when denied access to a game
Skill definition - when someone says you can't play
Teach and rehearse skill definition by direct instruction
Model skill and demonstrate examples and nonexamples
Rationales generated by students to support use of the skill
Student role plays
Classwide contracting
Review exercise to be completed before next session
SESSION LENGTH: Approximately 40 minutes
LESSON FIFTEEN
WHEN SOMEONE SAYS YOU CAN'T PLAY
REVIEW CONTENT OF PREVIOUS LESSON
Briefly describe the story Struck by Lightening from the previous lesson. Ask students to describe the five steps of expressing anger appropriately described during Lesson Fourteen.
EXPRESSING ANGER APPROPRIATELY
1. Relax by breathing slowly.
2. Be serious.
Make eye contact.
Use a firm voice.
Have a serious face.
3. Tell the person you are angry.
"I am angry."
"I am mad."
4. Tell the person what made you angry.
5. Don't hurt.
Don't hit, name call or threaten.
DRAWING FOR HOMEWORK WINNERS
Request that a student who is listening effectively, as described in Lesson One, draw from the jar containing student names. The selected student is asked to identify if he/she, since the last session, used the skill of expressing anger appropriately. If the student is able to describe use of the skill, as well as act out a role play, he/she wins a surprise reward at the end of the session.
Emphasize the importance of being people smart by remaining relaxed, and expressing anger in a way that does not involve hurting. Continue until at least three winners are found.
INTRODUCTORY STORY - WHEN SOMEONE SAYS YOU CAN'T PLAY
Read the following story. Indicate to students that questions will be asked after the story is completed.
UNFAIR
It was a beautiful day. A warm breeze blew across the playground of Washington Elementary as students played a variety of games during recess. Anne, a fifth grader, was looking forward to playing four square with some friends. She spotted a four square game in progress near the building. A number of kids from her class were playing and she was sure they'd welcome her.
Anne ran to where the students were playing and waited for a pause in the game. Before long, one of her friends was eliminated. With excitement, Anne took this opportunity to greet her friends, give a compliment, and ask to play.
Anne's wonderful day turned sour when she heard Andre, a new boy in her class, say in a loud voice, "No way! You can't play in this game. It's locked and we're not letting anyone else in."
Anne looked at her friends for help. They smiled but said nothing. "They can't do this," thought Anne. "I have a right to play too."
"Hey, why can't I play?" asked Anne in a demanding voice.
"Because we said you can't!" shouted Andre.
Anne felt great anger rise within her. "You don't own the playground, Andre. I can play if I want to."
"Ha! You can't play if we don't let you. Why don't you waddle off and play somewhere else. This game is for people who know how to play," Andre replied as he bounced the ball.
Anne's anger grew uncontrollably. With tears in her eyes she lunged at Andre. The impact sent Andre crashing to the ground. Anne grabbed the playground ball and threw it across the playground as hard as she could.
"I'm never playing with any of you again!" she screamed with tears running down her cheeks.
Anne ran to the building to find her teacher and report her friends were being unfair.
STORY DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
1. Did Anne try to join the game the people smart way? Did she walk up close, wait for a pause, greet, compliment the players and ask politely to play?
ANSWER: Yes
(Emphasize that asking to play the polite, people smart way does not mean your friends will include you in a game.)
2. How did Anne feel when she asked to play and Andre said, "No."?
ANSWER: Angry, sad, frustrated, betrayed.
3. Why do you think Andre was being mean?
ANSWER: Accept any reasonable response.
4. What did Anne do that she should not have done?
ANSWER: Push Andre.
Throw the ball across the playground.
Say she would never play with her classmates again.
5. What might happen next?
ANSWER: Anne might lose friends.
She might not be invited to play in the future.
She might get in trouble with her teacher.
REVIEW STEPS TO JOIN A GAME THE PEOPLE SMART WAY (DEFINED IN LESSON SIX)
Ask students to identify the six steps to joining a game the people smart way
Write the following steps on the board:
1. Walk up close.
2. Wait for a pause.
3. Greet.
4. Compliment.
5. Ask politely to play.
STUDENT POLL - BEING DENIED ACCESS TO A GAME
Ask students to raise their hands if they have asked to play in a game the people smart way (close, pause, greet, compliment, ask politely) but have been told they can’t play?
Indicate that being turned away from a game happens to most of us.
Ask students to share examples. Insist that names of those who would not allow the student to play not be revealed.
STUDENT BRAINSTORMING - BEST RESPONSE WHEN DENIED ACCESS TO A GAME
Ask students to describe what to do when someone says you can't play in a game. Indicate that the solutions must meet the following conditions.
1. It is more likely you will be included in the game.
2. You will not lose friends.
3. You will not get in trouble.
Write student responses on the board.
SKILL DEFINITION - WHEN SOMEONE SAYS YOU CAN'T PLAY
Showing the poster entitled When Someone Says You Can’t Play found in Appendix A, summarize student responses in the following solution.
WHEN SOMEONE SAYS YOU CAN'T PLAY
1. Relax if you are upset.
2. With a friendly voice say, "Okay."
3. Politely ask when you can play, or ask to take turns.
"When can I play?"
"Can I play in the next game?"
"Can I play when you're done?"
4. If your friends still say no, find someone else to play with.
STUDENT ROLE PLAYS:
It is important that students not practice inappropriate skills during role play situations. As a result, the instructor plays the role of an offensive individual denying access to a game. Indicate that volunteers should use the six steps in the people smart method of asking to join a game (refer to the steps written on the board) in each of the role plays.
Ask students to volunteer to role play use of the two skills: (1.) asking to join a game and (2.) what to do when someone says you can’t play. Review what might be said prior to each role play to insure that role plays are performed without major problems or delays.
Again, the instructor plays the role of the individual saying, “No.” In some role plays, allow access to the game after use of the skill. In other role plays, maintain refusal so that the student must employ the final skill step of leaving and finding someone else to play with.
After each role play, discuss the negative consequences (e.g., not invited to play in future games, lose friends, not invited to birthday parties, etc.) that might be experienced by the person who refuses to let a person play. Also mention that this skill sometimes results in access to a game and sometimes does not work.
Employ the situations below or use situations suggested by students. After each role play, show the poster and review if each skill step was used.
SITUATIONS:
1. You ask to join a softball game but are told there are already too many players.
2. You ask to join a foursquare game but are told the game is locked.
3. You ask to join a basketball game. You are told “No” by one of the participants.
4. You ask to join a volleyball game but are told you can't come in during the middle of a game.
5. You ask your brother if you can join him playing video games and he says “No.”
6. Two of your friends are playing jump rope. You ask if you can join and are told “Not now.”
7. Two of your friends are playing checkers. You ask to play but are told that this is a championship match.
COOPERATIVE LEARNING ACTIVITY (OPTIONAL):
This activity requires an extended session length or can be completed in a separate session. This is a valuable activity that requires not only review of the social skill being taught, but use of other social skills as students work together to accomplish a goal. Again, a great deal of structure is needed to maintain student attention.
This activity involves students working in groups of three to complete a story starter activity found in Appendix B. After a story ending is written, each group is asked to read their story and provide a role play of the story content to the class.
Detailed instructions are provided in Lesson Two on page 22. Those directions can be adapted for the purpose of this lesson.
CLASSWIDE CONTRACTING
Instruct students to be people smart and use the skill if told they can't play in a game.
Describe that at the outset of the next session names will be randomly selected from the jar containing names of class members. If a selected student is able to describe use of the skill, as well as demonstrate the skill in a role play, he/she will earn a surprise reward.
A poster with the definition of responding appropriately when someone says you can't play can be found in Appendix A. Place the poster in a prominent location in the classroom.
Provide reward, such as candy or school implements, to winners identified at the start of the session.
REVIEW EXERCISE TO BE COMPLETED BEFORE NEXT SESSION (OPTIONAL):
Review the skill at some point prior to the next session. Ask students to write an ending to the story starter provided below. Instruct students that the ending should describe the main character using the skill appropriately.
STORY WRITING ACTIVITY
DIRECTIONS: Please write an ending to the following story. Describe what Joe should do when his friends say he can't play.
WHO'S THE BEST?
Joe saw his friends, Jose and Raymond, playing basketball. Right away, he wanted to join the game. Joe walked over to the court where Jose and Raymond were playing. When his friends stopped playing to get a drink, Joe politely asked if he could play. Both Jose and Raymond told Joe they wanted to play each other in order to decide who was the better player.
LESSON SIXTEEN
RESPONDING TO TEASING
LESSON OVERVIEW
PURPOSE: To teach students a strategy to ignore teasing.
SKILL DEFINITION:
RESPONDING TO HURTFUL TEASING
1. Relax.
2. Ignore
Look away.
Say nothing.
Do something that keeps you busy.
3. Walk away if you can.
4. Ask an adult for help if teasing continues.
INSTRUCTIONAL SEQUENCE:
Review skill taught in previous session
Drawing for homework winners
Introductory story - responding to teasing
Story discussion questions
Student poll - being teased
Identify two types of teasing: (1) fun and, (2) hurtful
Student descriptions of hurtful teasing
Student brainstorming - responding to hurtful teasing
Skill definition - responding to hurtful teasing
Skill modeled by volunteer students
Rationales generated by students to support use of the skill
Student role plays
Cooperative learning activity (optional)
Classwide contracting
Review exercise to be completed before next session
SESSION LENGTH: Approximately 30 to 50 minutes
LESSON SIXTEEN
RESPONDING TO TEASING
REVIEW CONTENT OF PREVIOUS SESSION
Briefly describe the story "Unfair" from the previous session. Ask students to describe the people smart way to respond when someone says you can't play.
WHEN SOMEONE SAYS YOU CAN'T PLAY
1. Relax if you are upset.
2. With a friendly voice say, "Okay."
3. Politely ask when you can play, or ask to take
turns.
"When can I play?"
"Can I play in the next game?"
"Can I play when you're done?"
4. If your friends still say no, find someone else to
play with.
DRAWING FOR HOMEWORK WINNERS
Request that a student who is listening effectively, as described in Lesson One, draw from the jar containing student names. The selected student is asked to identify if he/she, since the last session, used the skill of responding appropriately when someone says you can't play. If the student is able to describe use of the skill, as well as act out a role play, he/she wins a surprise reward at the end of the session.
Emphasize that this skill does not always work but nonetheless is a good first response when excluded from a game. Continue until at least three winners are found.
INTRODUCTORY STORY - RESPONDING TO TEASING
Read the following story. Indicate to students that questions will be asked after the story is completed.
ERRORS ON THE INFIELD
It was a sweltering afternoon. Through a cloudless sky the sun shone brilliantly upon the softball diamond at Washington Elementary. Carrying bats and gloves, Jane and several of her classmates ran excitedly onto the hot surface of the infield.
The faculty at Washington Elementary had challenged the sixth grade class to a year end softball game. Jane and her classmates intended to sharpen their skills in order to beat the teachers. Jane understood the importance of this game. Every sixth grader wanted to leave Washington Elementary knowing their team had defeated the teachers.
Todd Smith yelled, "Hey, take a fielding position and I'll hit you guys some grounders for practice."
Dust swirled about her feet as Jane excitedly ran to the shortstop position. She hoped the mitt she borrowed from her brother would help her. Within seconds the ball was screaming through the grass in her direction. Jane took several steps to the right and scooped her mitt to the ground. But the ball never made contact with Jane's mitt. In an instant, it bounded into right field.
"Can't you catch?" yelled Kathy from third base.
"I can catch as well as you can," snapped Jane in an irritated voice.
"That'll be the day," said Kathy.
Several minutes later, the ball soared skyward in Jane's direction. Blinded by the brilliant sun, Jane covered her eyes and then her head for fear of the falling softball. The ball hit Jane's head with a thud and spilled into the soft dust at her feet. Trying to make the best of the situation, she picked up the ball and launched a mighty throw to first base. The ball sailed wide of its mark, almost hitting a classmate standing by the fence.
"What a klutz!" cackled Kathy.
"I am not!" screamed Jane, her head now aching from the blow of the softball. "I couldn't see the ball because of the sun."
"Ha. Ha. You couldn't see it because you're as blind as a bat," laughed Kathy in a nasty voice.
"Mind your own business," demanded Jane.
"Well you're going to make us loose the game with your crummy play," challenged Kathy.
"I have as much of a right to play as you," yelled Jane, her voice cracking with emotion.
Jane wiped perspiration from her forehead as she thought how much she hated Kathy. She was now unaware of the play on the field. Suddenly a line drive screamed toward her. It grazed her cap, sending it flying into the air. Kathy and several other teammates began laughing uncontrollably.
Rushing toward Jane, Todd Smith excitedly asked, "Are you alright?"
Jane was overcome with embarrassment. "I'd be alright if everyone would just leave me alone," she sobbed with tears running down her cheeks.
Jane heard Kathy say, "What a dope!" as she ran from the field to the school building hoping to find someplace to hide for the rest of the day.
STORY DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
1. How does Jane feel as she leaves the field?
ANSWER: Embarrassed, humiliated, sad, angry, lonely, frustrated.
2. Why was Kathy being so mean to Jane?
ANSWER: Kathy thought Jane would cause the sixth graders to lose to the teachers.
Accept any reasonable response.
3. What does Jane do that causes Kathy to continue the teasing?
ANSWER: She argues with Kathy.
She becomes upset and emotional.
She loses control of herself.
Accept any reasonable response.
4. Do you think other boys and girls on the field understood how badly Jane felt? Please explain.
ANSWER: Probably not or they would not have laughed when the ball knocked Jane's cap off her head.
The other students were probably too involved in playing to notice Jane.
Accept any reasonable response.
5. Jane was overcome with embarrassment and ran from the field to hide. What can she do to feel better?
ANSWER: Talk to someone.
Try to relax and join the game again.
Talk to some of her teammates and ask for their help.
Accept any reasonable response.
STUDENT POLL - BEING TEASED
Ask students to raise their hands if they have been teased during the last week.
Describe teasing as common and experienced by most people from time to time.
IDENTIFY TWO TYPES OF TEASING: FUN AND HURTFUL
Write the terms fun teasing and hurtful teasing on the board.
Indicate that sometimes teasing is fun and part of playing. This is fun teasing. Ask students to cite examples of fun teasing.
Indicate that sometimes teasing is not fun and hurts. This is hurtful teasing. Discuss that sometimes what one person experiences as fun teasing is hurtful teasing to another person. Emphasize that we are all different and that is okay and makes the world interesting.
STUDENT DESCRIPTIONS OF HURTFUL TEASING
Ask students to describe examples of being teased in a hurtful manner. Emphasize that students should not identify the names of those who teased. It may be helpful for the instructor to share personal experiences in order to encourage student responding.
Discuss how hurtful teasing makes a person feel.
STUDENT BRAINSTORMING - RESPONDING TO HURTFUL TEASING
Ask students to describe what a person who is being teased in a hurtful manner can do to reduce the teasing. Indicate that solutions must meet the following conditions.
1. The person teasing will tease less.
2. The person being teased does not get in trouble.
3. The teaser and person being teased can be friends if they like.
Write acceptable responses on the board.
SKILL DEFINITION - RESPONDING TO HURTFUL TEASING
Describe that student responses on the board can be summarized by the definition below. Show the poster entitled Responding to Hurtful Teasing found in Appendix A. After reviewing skill steps, have the students read the poster in chorus.
RESPONDING TO HURTFUL TEASING
1. Relax.
2. Ignore
Look away.
Say nothing.
Do something that keeps you busy.
3. Walk away if you can.
4. Ask an adult for help if teasing continues.
SKILL MOLDELED BY A VOLUNTEER STUDENTS
It is important that students not be placed in the position of practicing teasing in role plays. As a result, the examiner plays the role of teaser.
Select two volunteer students who likely will be able to demonstrate use of the skill in a role play. The students are asked to act out playing catch with a ball. The instructor plays the role of the teaser by berating their performance. Prompt the students before hand to relax, avoid eye contact, say nothing and continue to play catch or walk away if they like. Following are some suggested comments with which to tease.
You two are pathetic.
My kindergarten sister can play better than you two.
Stop acting like you’re afraid of the ball.
Hasn’t anyone taught you how to throw a ball?
Remind me not to have you on my softball team.
I can’t stand to watch this – it’s so ugly.
I can play catch ten times better than either of you.
Is there something wrong with you two?
I’ll bet no one would be dumb enough to play catch with either of you.
After the role play provide applause for the performance of the volunteers. While showing the skill poster, review the skill steps used in the role play.
RATIONALES GENERATED BY STUDENTS TO SUPPORT USE OF THE SKILL
Ask students to identify why it is important to use each skill step. Write responses of the board.
EXAMPLES:
RELAX
If you are relaxed it is more likely you will think clearly.
Ignoring takes self control. Being relaxed helps you keep self control.
It's no fun to tease someone who does not get upset.
IGNORE
The person who teases wants to be noticed.
It's no fun to tease someone who ignores.
The person teasing wants you to look and talk back. He/she might stop if you ignore.
If you get busy doing something else you won't think about the teasing.
WALK AWAY IF YOU CAN
You may be able to escape the teaser.
Gives you something to do by walking.
The person will think you are not going to stand and argue or get upset.
ASK AN ADULT FOR HELP IF TEASING CONTINUES
An adult may be able to stop the teasing.
An adult can teach the teaser not to tease.
Adults can sometimes help solve problems that children cannot solve.
The teaser might stop when you approach an adult.
The teaser may not bother you again if you tell an adult.
It's better to ask for help than get angry at the teaser.
STUDENT ROLE PLAYS
Ask volunteer students to role play use of the skill. As before, it is important not to place students in the inappropriate role of teasing. As a result, the instructor should role play teasing while student volunteers role play ignoring. Use situations described by students or those provided below. Ask students to observe and provide corrective feedback based on the skill definition.
Prompt the class to provide applause after each role play.
SITUATIONS
1. A friend begins to call you a klutz while you shoot baskets.
2. You are drawing a picture of a horse during free time in class. A classmate teases you by saying the horse looks like a monster.
3. A classmate teases you concerning your clothing.
4. Your name is Kathy Seaman. A classmate starts teasing you by calling you Kathy Sea Monster, Kathy Seaweed and Kathy Seahorse.
5. Your older brother teases you about your ability to play video games.
6. A friend tells you the principal wants to see you and that you are in big trouble. You know this is not true.
COOPERATIVE LEARNING ACTIVITY (OPTIONAL):
This activity requires an extended session length or can be completed in a separate session. This is a valuable activity that requires not only review of the social skill being taught, but use of other social skills as students work together to accomplish a goal. Again, a great deal of structure is needed to maintain student attention.
This activity involves students working in groups of three to complete a story starter activity found in Appendix B. After a story ending is written, each group is asked to read their story and provide a role play of the story content to the class.
Detailed instructions are provided in Lesson Two on page 22. Those directions can be adapted for the purpose of this lesson.
CLASSWIDE CONTRACTING
Instruct students to be people smart by using the skill of ignoring teasing prior to the next session.
Describe that at the outset of the next session, names will be randomly selected. If a selected student is able to describe use of the skill, as well as demonstrate the skill in a role play, he/she will earn a surprise reward.
A poster with the definition of responding to teasing can be found in Appendix A. Place the poster in a prominent location in the classroom.
Provide rewards, such as candy or school implements, to those identified as homework
winners at the outset of the session.
REVIEW EXERCISE TO BE COMPLETED BEFORE NEXT SESSION:
Review the skill of ignoring hurtful teasing at some point prior to the next session. Ask students to write an ending to the story starter provided below. Instruct students that the ending should describe the main character using the skill appropriately.
STORY WRITING ACTIVITY
DIRECTIONS: Please write an ending to the following story.
Describe Anne ignoring teasing the people smart way.
ANNE IS ANGRY
Anne hits the tennis ball against the wall of her house. Before long her older brother, James, comes out of the house. James starts teasing Anne by telling her she is an awful tennis player. Anne starts to feel very angry.
LESSON SEVENTEEN
WHEN A FRIEND IS TEASED
LESSON OVERVIEW
PURPOSE: To teach students a socially appropriate method to assist a friend who is being teased or bullied.
SKILL DEFINITION:
WHEN A FRIEND IS TEASED:
1. Relax
2. Ignore the teaser
3. Use a calm voice
4. Make eye contact and say your friend’s name
5. Invite your friend to leave by playing a game
6. Leave if your friend won’t play.
INSTRUCTIONAL SEQUENCE:
Review content of previous session
Drawing for homework winners
Introductory story – when a friend is teased
Story discussion questions
Student brainstorming – what to do when a friend is teased
Skill definition
Elaboration of skill steps five and six
Skill modeled by volunteer students
Student role plays
Cooperative learning activity
Classwide contracting
Review exercise to be completed before next lesson.
ESTIMATED TIME: 30 – 50 minutes
LESSON SEVENTEEN
WHEN A FRIEND IS TEASED
REVIEW CONTENT OF PREVIOUS SESSION
Briefly describe the story Errors on the Infield from the previous lesson. Ask students to describe the people smart way to respond when someone teases.
RESPONDING TO HURTFUL TEASING:
1. Relax.
2. Ignore
Look away.
Say nothing.
Do something that keeps you busy.
3. Walk away if you can.
4. Ask an adult for help if teasing continues.
DRAWING FOR HOMEWORK WINNERS
Request that a student who is listening effectively, as described in Lesson One, draw from the jar containing student names. The selected student is asked to identify if he/she, since the last session, used the people smart skill of ignoring teasing. If the student is able to describe use of the skill, as well as act out a role play, he/she wins a surprise reward at the end of the session.
INTRODUCTORY STORY:
Read the following story. Indicate that questions will be asked after the story is completed.
Against the Wall
Jake Gomez grabbed a stack of papers from Amy, the tiny red haired girl seated in front of him.
“Have fun with these Jake. I know how much you like math,” stated Amy while flashing a smile at Jake.
Jake took a sheet and passed the rest to the student behind him. He then studied the page of fifty multiplication problems.
“Wow, this will take forever,” he thought to himself. “Oh well, at least recess is in ten minutes.”
Jake began to work feverishly on the math problems. He completed three rows of problems and was about to start the fourth row when the bell for recess rang.
“Wow, time sure flies by when you’re busy,” thought Jake to himself.
Jake quickly stuffed his multiplication sheet into his math folder and then into his desk.
“Hey, Amy, ya wanta play four square at recess?”
“Sure Jake, I’ll meet you out there,” said Amy as she slid her math book into her desk.
With speed Jake proceeded onto the playground where he was greeted by warm sunshine and a cool breeze.
“Wow, perfect weather for four square,” thought Jake to himself.
Jake surveyed the playground in search of Amy. He expected to see her near the four square courts but she wasn’t there. Jake continued to scan the playground. In time he spotted her near the door to the building talking with Sam Jones. Jake dodged several students, jumped over a run away playground ball and sprinted around two boys throwing a football as he ran to the pair. When Jake approached he noticed Amy pointing her finger at Sam and stamping her feet on the ground. Amy’s face was red and it seemed that her eyes were glistening with tears.
“I’m just as smart as you,” yelled Amy as she tried to choke back tears.
“Sorry Amy, you’re so dumb you’ll have to repeat fourth grade next year. In fact, you ought to be in kindergarten right now,” stated Sam in a nasty voice followed by a wicked snicker.
“Well you’re so stupid you can’t even pass a spelling test Sam,” screamed Amy, her eyes flashing with anger.
Jake had been teased many times by Sam and felt he had to help his good friend Amy.
“So if you’re so smart Sam, why did you get a D on your math test last week?” asked Jake as he sneered at Sam.
“Jake, you’re just as dumb as your friend Amy. In fact, you ought to find a brain to put in that empty head of yours.”
Jake was stung by the comment. He knew he had a hard time in reading and had to work extra hard to pass the spelling test every Friday. Jake’s body began to shake as he struggled to find a response.
“Shut up!” yelled Jake in a voice that cracked with emotion.
By this time several students, attracted by the loud and angry voices, were gathering around the scene. Within a moment, Mr. Gonzales, a frown covering his face, arrived. His stern voice told everyone that these three students were in trouble.
“I’m sorry that the three of you can’t find anything better to do than argue and call each other names. Each of you can find a spot against the wall and spend the rest of recess thinking about your unkind words.”
STORY DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:
1. Time went very fast as Jake completed the math problems. Why did time race so quickly?
ANSWER: Time seems to move more quickly when you’re busy.
2. Jake wanted to help his friend Amy as she was being teased by Sam. Have you ever been upset when someone teases your friends?
ANSWER: Entertain all reasonable responses.
3. What did Amy do that made Sam want to continue to tease her?
ANSWER: She acted upset, talked back and called Sam names.
4. What did Jake do to help Amy?
ANSWER: He argued with Sam and called Sam names. This did not help.
5. Was it a good idea to start arguing with Sam?
ANSWER: No, arguing only made Sam tease more.
6. Why did Mr. Gonzales ask the students to stand against the wall?
ANSWER: He was upset that they were being disrespectful
He wanted to separate them to stop the arguing.
7. What could Jake have done to help Amy as she is being teased by Sam?
ANSWER: Accept any reasonable response.
STUDENT BRAINSTORMING – WHAT TO DO WHEN A FRIEND IS TEASED:
Ask students to suggest what can be done when a classmate teases a friend. Indicate that the solution must meet two conditions:
1. You remain respectful and keep you and your friend out of trouble. (Note that the character, Jake, in the story got himself in trouble by arguing with Sam)
2. The solution solves the problem of ending the teasing experienced by your friend. (Note that when Jake argued with Sam, Sam teased both he and his friend more)
3. The solution can be used even if there are not adults present.
Write responses that meet the three conditions on the board.
SKILL DEFINITION – WHEN A FRIEND IS TEASED:
Praise the class for the many solutions offered. Indicate that the suggestions can be combined into a people smart social skill. Show the poster entitled When a Friend is Teased found in Appendix A. Read through each step of the skill. Afterward ask the class to read the skill steps in chorus.
WHEN A FRIEND IS TEASED:
1. Relax
2. Ignore the teaser
3. Use a calm voice
4. Make eye contact and say your friend’s name
5. Invite your friend to leave by playing a game
6. Leave if your friend won’t play.
ELABORATION OF SKILL STEPS FIVE AND SIX – INVITE YOUR FRIEND TO LEAVE BY PLAYING A GAME AND LEAVE IF YOUR FRIEND WON’T PLAY.
Briefly, without lecturing, make the following points:
1. Make sure to gain your friend’s attention by making eye contact and saying your friend’s name.
2. Only your friend can solve the problem he is having when teased. Also, only you can solve your own problems. However, you can assist your friend. By asking your friend to play, you provide a way for your friend to escape the teasing.
3. Ask only once. Don’t beg or plead with your friend. If your friend won’t play, leave.
4. You may want to argue with the teaser or call the teaser names. Don’t! Arguing with the teaser only encourages the teaser to tease more.
SKILL MODELED BY VOLUNTEER STUDENTS:
It is important that negative behaviors such as teasing not be acted out by students. As a result, the skill is modeled by a volunteer student who the instructor believes will be able to satisfactorily demonstrate the skill steps. The instructor plays the role of the teaser.
Ask for two volunteer students in this role play. One is teased by the instructor and the other models the skill by rescuing the victim. Prompt the volunteer students prior to the role play by reminding them of what they will do and say. The victim is instructed to merely listen to the teasing while not inappropriately arguing and teasing back. The student who plays the role of the rescuer demonstrates the skill steps outlined above.
Use the situation provided in the introductory story for this role play.
After the role play ask the class to provide applause. Review the skill steps as you show the poster to the class.
STUDENT ROLE PLAYS:
The instructor plays the role of the teaser while volunteer students play the role of the victim and rescuer. Use the situations provided below or those suggested by students. After each role play prompt applause from the class and review the presence of the skill steps while showing the poster.
SITUATIONS:
1. A student teases another student about his/her clothing.
2. A student teases another student about poor performance on a spelling test.
3. A student teases another student about being a slow runner.
4. A student teases another student about not playing video games well.
5. A student teases another student about being picked last to play basketball.
COOPERATIVE LEARNING ACTIVITY (OPTIONAL):
This activity requires an extended session length or can be completed in a separate session. This is a valuable activity that requires not only review of the social skill being taught, but use of other social skills as students work together to accomplish a goal. Again, a great deal of structure is needed to maintain student attention.
This activity involves students working in groups of three to complete a story starter activity found in Appendix B. After a story ending is written, each group is asked to read their story and provide a role play of the story content to the class.
Detailed instructions are provided in Lesson Two on page 22. Those directions can be adapted for the purpose of this lesson.
CLASSWIDE CONTRACTING
Instruct students to be people smart by using the skill to help a friend being teased.
Describe that at the outset of the next session, names will be randomly selected. If a selected student is able to describe use of the skill, as well as demonstrate the skill in a role play, he/she will earn a surprise reward.
A poster with the skill definition is found in Appendix A. Place the poster in a prominent location in the classroom.
Provide rewards, such as candy or school implements, to those identified as homework
winners at the outset of the session.
REVIEW EXERCISE TO BE COMPLETED BEFORE NEXT SESSION (OPTIONAL):
Review the skill of helping a friend who is teased at some point prior to the next session. Ask students to write an ending to the story starter provided below. Instruct students that the ending should describe the main character using the skill appropriately.
STORY WRITING ACTIVITY
DIRECTIONS: Please write an ending to the following story. Describe Cody helping his friend who is being teased.
Rescuing a Friend
Cody ran at top speed down Maple Avenue and onto the school playground. He was looking for his good friend, Sam Wheeler. He and Sam agreed to meet at school to play soccer. Cody saw Sam and Amy Butler on the other end of the playground. As he ran toward Sam, he could hear Amy screaming that Sam was stupid and dumb. Wow, Cody wanted to help his good friend Sam. He decided to be people smart. Cody ………
LESSON EIGHTEEN
ASKING FOR HELP
LESSON OVERVIEW
PURPOSE: To teach students socially appropriate methods of asking for help in emergency and nonemergency situations.
SKILL DEFINITION:
ASKING FOR HELP
Decide if it is an emergency.
If it is an emergency:
Interrupt the person.
Say, "Excuse me."
Say the person’s name (if you know it)
Describe the problem
Thank the person.
If it is not an emergency:
Wait till the person is not busy.
Say the person's name (if you know it).
Ask if the person can help you.
“I have a problem. Could you please help me?”
Describe the problem.
Thank the person.
INSTRUCTIONAL SEQUENCE:
Review skill taught in previous session
Drawing for homework winners
Introductory story
Story discussion questions
Student descriptions of instances of asking for help
Student brainstorming - asking for help
Skill definition - asking for help
Handling difficult situations: teachers talking and parents on the phone
Model skill and demonstrate examples and nonexamples
Student role plays
Classwide role plays (optional)
Cooperative learning activity (optional)
Classwide contracting
Review exercise to be completed before next session (optional)
SESSION LENGTH: Approximately 30 – 50 minutes
LESSON EIGHTEEN
ASKING FOR HELP
REVIEW CONTENT OF PREVIOUS SESSION
Briefly describe the story Against the Wall from the previous session. Ask students to describe the people smart strategy to use when a friend is teased.
WHEN A FRIEND IS TEASED:
1. Relax
2. Ignore the teaser
3. Use a calm voice
4. Make eye contact and say your friend’s name
5. Invite your friend to leave by playing a game
6. Leave if your friend won’t play.
DRAWING FOR HOMEWORK WINNERS
Request that a student who is listening effectively, as described in Lesson One, draw from the jar containing student names. The selected student is asked to identify if he/she, since the last session, used the skill of helping a friend who is being teased. If the student is able to describe use of the skill, as well as act out a role play, he/she wins a surprise reward at the end of the session. Emphasize that your friend must solve his/her own problems and that arguing with a teaser will only encourage the teaser to tease more. Continue until at least three winners are found.
INTRODUCTORY STORY - ASKING FOR HELP
Read the following story. Indicate to students that questions will be asked after the story is completed.
MRS. SMITH WOULD KNOW WHAT TO DO
Kathy raced from the school bus through a blinding snowstorm. Entering the building, she knew the first thing she must do. Earlier in the morning, her preschool aged brother had begged her to buy him a football pencil from the pencil machine. Reluctantly, Kathy had agreed.
With hands still numb from the frigid weather, Kathy fumbled through her pockets to find a quarter. She carefully put the quarter in the coin slot of the pencil machine and pushed in the arm. Nothing happened! The expected pencil was not delivered. To make matters worse, her only quarter was now lost in the machine. For a few moments, Kathy pulled at the arm. She thought of kicking the machine, but remembered a boy in her class had recently gotten in trouble for doing that.
Kathy knew the bell would ring at any moment. Quickly, she walked to the office to ask Mrs. Smith, the school secretary, for help. Surely, Mrs. Smith, who had solved so many problems for Kathy in the past, would know what to do.
Kathy walked into the office to find the room crowded with people. Two parents were standing at the counter. A boy, who looked like a first grader, was sitting on a chair crying, blood coloring his face.
"Must be another nose bleed," thought Kathy.
Afraid she would be late for class, Kathy boldly stepped to the counter and said in a loud voice, "Mrs. Smith, I lost my quarter in the pencil machine."
Kathy was pleased to see Mrs. Smith turn around, but surprised by the frown on her face. "Kathy, can't you see we're busy in this office now?" asked Mrs. Smith in an irritated voice. “You have no business interrupting like that!"
STORY DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
1. Why did Kathy ask Mrs. Smith for help?
ANSWER: Kathy lost a quarter in the pencil machine and
thought Mrs. Smith could help her.
2. How did Mrs. Smith feel when Kathy asked for help?
ANSWER: Frustrated, angry, annoyed.
3. Why was Mrs. Smith upset?
ANSWER: Kathy interrupted her while she was busy.
4. How did Kathy feel when Mrs. Smith became angry with her?
ANSWER: Surprised, embarrassed.
5. Why was Kathy surprised when Mrs. Smith appeared annoyed?
ANSWER: Mrs. Smith had helped Kathy with problems at
other times.
6. What should Kathy have done?
ANSWER: Ask Mrs. Smith for help at recess.
Wait till Mrs. Smith was not busy.
STUDENT DESCRIPTIONS OF INSTANCES OF ASKING FOR HELP
Ask students to describe personal examples of asking for help. It may be helpful for the instructor to offer examples to stimulate student responding.
Note that some examples involve emergencies in which help is needed immediately, while others do not. Reinforce that the need to request help is a common experience.
STUDENT BRAINSTORMING - ASKING FOR HELP
Ask students to describe appropriate ways of asking for help. Prompt responses by asking students to describe how a person asking for help should look, sound and what the person should say. Write suggestions on the board.
SKILL DEFINITION - ASKING FOR HELP
Indicate that student responses can be summarized into a solution shown on the poster entitled Asking for Help (found in Appendix A). Review each skill step. Afterward, ask the class to read the poster in chorus.
ASKING FOR HELP
Decide if it is an emergency.
If it is an emergency:
Interrupt the person.
Say, "Excuse me."
Say the person’s name (if you know it).
Describe the problem.
Thank the person.
If it is not an emergency:
Wait till the person is not busy.
Say the person's name (if you know it).
Ask if the person can help you.
“I have a problem. Could you please help me?”
Describe the problem.
Thank the person.
HANDLING DIFFICULT SITUATIONS: TEACHERS TALKING AND PARENTS ON THE PHONE
Ask students what happens when they interrupt two teachers who are talking or a parent on the phone. Indicate that these are difficult situations that require some care. Make the following points:
Most adults find it difficult to be interrupted.
Make sure only to interrupt talking teachers and parents on the phone when it is a real emergency.
MODEL SKILL AND DEMONSTRATE EXAMPLES AND NONEXAMPLES
Use situations provided below or those described earlier by students to demonstrate the skill of asking for help appropriately. Employ volunteer students as persons you request help from. Ask students to provide a grade for each role play. After each role play, review if each skill step was employed. Continue until two demonstrations have been completed.
Indicate to students that the following role plays may contain errors. Mix examples and nonexamples of the skill. Nonexamples might involve interrupting when an emergency does not exist, not saying the person's name, not stating that help is needed, or not adequately describing the problem. Ask students to provide a grade for each role play based on the skill definition.
SITUATIONS:
I. NONEMERGENCIES:
1. Asking a cashier who is talking with another customer where bread is located in a grocery store.
2. Asking two teachers who are talking on the playground what time it is.
3. Asking a friend who is playing a video game to help you carry a box.
4. Asking a parent who is talking on the phone to help you pump up a bike tire.
5. Asking a teacher, who is helping another student, how to spell a word.
II. EMERGENCIES:
1. A girl in class says she feels sick and asks you for help. Your teacher is at her desk correcting papers.
2. During class, you are stung by a bee on your hand. Your hand begins to swell. Your teacher is in the corner of the classroom working with a group of students.
3. You walk into a restaurant and notice someone has spilled a drink at the entrance. You are concerned that a customer will slip and fall. A waitress is walking down the aisle with a tray full of plates.
4. Your little brother is outside your apartment riding his bicycle. You see him fall off the bike. You rush to him to see if he is all right. He is crying and blood is rushing from a nasty cut on his knee. You feel you need help. You rush inside to find your parents discussing dinner menus at the kitchen table.
STUDENT ROLE PLAYS
Ask volunteer students to role play use of the skill. Use situations suggested by students or those described above. Ask students to observe and provide corrective feedback based on the skill definition.
CLASSWIDE ROLE PLAYS (OPTIONAL):
This is a lengthy, but highly valuable, activity that can be completed in an extended session or in a separate session in which a couple of previously taught skills are reviewed. A great deal of structure is required as student attention can easily be lost.
The activity involves breaking the class into groups of three students. Each group role plays the skill of asking for help for various situations provided by the instructor. Use situations identified above or those provided by students.
Detailed instructions are provided in Lesson Two on page 21. Those directions can be adapted for the skill of asking for help.
COOPERATIVE LEARNING ACTIVITY (OPTIONAL):
As with classwide role plays, this activity requires an extended session length or can be completed in a separate session. This is a valuable activity that requires not only review of the social skill being taught, but use of other social skills as students work together to accomplish a goal. Again, a great deal of structure is needed to maintain student attention.
This activity involves students working in groups of three to complete a story starter activity found in Appendix B. After a story ending is written, each group is asked to read their story and provide a role play of the story content to the class.
Detailed instructions are provided in Lesson Two on page 22. Those directions can be adapted for the purpose of this lesson.
CLASSWIDE CONTRACTING
Instruct students to ask for help the people smart way prior to the next session.
Describe that at the outset of the next session, names will be randomly selected. If a selected student is able to describe use of the skill, as well as demonstrate the skill in a role play, he/she will earn a surprise reward.
A poster with the definition of asking for help can be found in Appendix A. Place the poster in a prominent location in the classroom.
Provide rewards, such as candy or school implements, to winners identified at the start of
the session.
REVIEW EXERCISE TO BE COMPLETED BEFORE NEXT SESSION (OPTIONAL):
Review the skill of asking for help at some point prior to the next session. Ask students to write an ending to the story starter provided below. Instruct students that the ending should describe the main character using the skill of asking for help the people smart way.
STORY WRITING ACTIVITY
DIRECTIONS: Please write an ending to the following story. Describe Joe asking for help the people smart way.
WHERE IS THE MILK?
Joe's mother asked him to run into the store to buy a quart of milk. His mother is waiting outside in the car. Joe and his mother are in a hurry because they need the milk to finish baking a cake for Joe's little sister. Joe can't find a quart of milk on the shelf. An employee is a few feet away mopping the floor. Joe ….
LESSON NINETEEN
MAKING A COMPLAINT
LESSON OVERVIEW
PURPOSE: To teach students a socially appropriate method of making a complaint that increases the probability of a helpful response.
DEFINITION OF COMPLAINT: A complaint is telling someone that something is wrong.
SKILL DEFINITION:
MAKING A COMPLAINT:
1. Relax if you are upset.
2. Decide who to complain to.
Talk to the person who caused the problem.
Talk to someone who can help.
3. Use a pleasant voice.
4. Say the person's name (if you know it) and state you have a problem.
“(person’s name), I have a problem. I wonder if you could help?”
5. Politely state the problem.
6. Thank the person for listening.
INSTRUCTIONAL SEQUENCE:
Review content of previous session
Drawing for homework winners
Introductory story - making a complaint
Story discussion questions
Provide definition of complaint
Student description of making a complaint
Student brainstorming - making a complaint
Skill definition - making a complaint
Expand step two of skill definition - decide who to complain to
Model skill and demonstrate examples and nonexamples
Student role plays
Classwide role plays (optional)
Cooperative learning activity (optional)
Classwide contracting
Review exercise to be completed before next session (optional)
SESSION LENGTH: Approximately 30 – 50 minutes
LESSON NINETEEN
MAKING A COMPLAINT
REVIEW CONTENT OF PREVIOUS SESSION
Briefly describe the story, Mrs. Smith Would Know What to Do, from Lesson Eighteen. Ask students to describe how to ask for help the people smart way.
ASKING FOR HELP
Decide if it is an emergency.
If it is an emergency:
Interrupt the person.
Say, "Excuse me."
Say the person’s name (if you know it)
Describe the problem
Thank the person.
If it is not an emergency:
Wait till the person is not busy.
Say the person's name (if you know it).
Ask if the person can help you.
“I have a problem. Could you please help me?”
Describe the problem.
Thank the person.
DRAWING FOR HOMEWORK WINNERS
Request that a student who is listening effectively, as described in Lesson One, draw from the jar containing student names. The selected student is asked to identify if he/she, since the last session, used the skill of asking for help the people smart way. If the student is able to describe asking for help, as well as act out a role play, he/she wins a surprise reward at the end of the session. Emphasize the difference in approach between asking for help in emergency and nonemergency situations. Continue until at least three winners are found.
INTRODUCTORY STORY - MAKING A COMPLAINT
Read the following story. Indicate to students that questions will be asked after the story is completed.
BUGGY SPAGHETTI
Ronnie's stomach began to growl as he walked behind his classmates into the cafeteria of Whittier Elementary School. The aroma of spaghetti and freshly baked bread filled his nostrils.
"Why can't this line move more quickly?" asked Ronnie to anyone who would listen. "I'm starving."
Angela Hernandez wheeled quickly about. A broad smile covered her face as she stared at Ronnie. Giggling she stated, "Miss Jones, Ronnie is going to starve if he doesn't get to eat soon. And I am too."
"Try to be patient kids. We'll be at the head of the line in just a few minutes," said their teacher in an encouraging voice.
Before long, Ronnie, Angela, and the rest of their fourth grade class, were holding trays as they walked along the serving line.
"Gimme lots," stated Ronnie in a loud voice as he watched Mrs. Curtin, the lunch room worker, spoon a large heap of steaming spaghetti onto his tray.
Ronnie picked up a container of milk, placed a straw and napkin on his tray and walked to the table at which his class was seated. After playfully asking Angela for her cookie, Ronnie took a seat and eagerly dug his fork into the mound of spaghetti. As he carefully moved the fork to his mouth, he spotted a small black object move to the top of the spaghetti. Ronnie quickly dropped the fork onto the tray and inspected a small fly, its wings covered with red sauce, struggling to gain freedom.
"Hey, there's a fly in my spaghetti," cried Ronnie with excitement.
Several students from Ronnie's class bent over to also inspect the half drowned insect. "Wow, you could die if you ate that," exclaimed Angela with a shriek.
Ronnie immediately sprang to his feet and took the tray to Mrs. Carver, who was taking lunch tickets from students still entering the cafeteria. "Hey, Mrs. Carver, there's a bug in my lunch and I almost ate it. I want another lunch," demanded Ronnie in a strong voice.
Mrs. Carver continued to take tickets from the stream of students moving through the cafeteria doors. Thinking she had not heard him, Ronnie spoke in a loud voice. "Hey, I almost ate a fly that's in my spaghetti. I want another lunch."
Mrs. Carver, a frown covering her face, whirled about in her chair to face Ronnie. "Young man, you'll need to learn to speak with more respect," she stated in a firm voice.
Ronnie's jaw dropped in surprise as he stared at Mrs. Carver. He did not know what to say.
STORY DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
1. Why did Ronnie stop eating his lunch?
ANSWER: He found a fly in the spaghetti.
2. How did Ronnie feel when he found the fly?
ANSWER: Surprised, upset, confused
3. How did Mrs. Carver feel when Ronnie told her about the fly in his spaghetti?
ANSWER: Unhappy, annoyed, angry
4. What caused Mrs. Carver to be upset with Ronnie?
ANSWER: Ronnie interrupted Mrs. Carver and was not polite in how he stated a complaint.
5. What should Ronnie have done?
ANSWER: Politely tell Mrs. Carver about the fly in his spaghetti.
6. What should Ronnie do as he stands now in front of an unhappy Mrs. Carver?
ANSWER: Apologize and politely tell Mrs. Carver about the fly in his spaghetti.
PROVIDE A DEFINITION OF "COMPLAINT"
Write the following definition of complaint on the board. Briefly discuss its meaning.
A complaint is telling someone that something is wrong.
Provide the following examples of complaints.
1. Telling a friend that he or she is late for a party is making a complaint.
2. Telling your parent that your brother calls you names is making a complaint.
3. Telling your teacher that you don't have enough time to complete homework she assigns is making a complaint.
Emphasize the following points:
1. Making complaints is helpful and common.
2. A person making a complaint is most likely to be helped if he/she is polite.
3. A person making a complaint is most likely to be helped if the problem is important. Complaints should not be made for little problems we can solve ourselves. Indicate that in the story Ronnie could have removed the fly from his spaghetti and likely did not need to make a complaint or get a new lunch.
STUDENT DESCRIPTIONS OF MAKING A COMPLAINT
Ask students to describe personal instances of making complaints. Discuss if the complaint was important and if the student was polite.
STUDENT BRAINSTORMING - MAKING A COMPLAINT
Ask students to describe how a complaint should be made. Indicate the solutions must meet two conditions (write on the board):
1. The person being complained to will want to listen.
2. The person being complained to will want to help solve the problem.
Deny inappropriate recommendations by indicating they will cause the listener to be uncooperative. Write appropriate solutions on the board.
SKILL DEFINITION - MAKING A COMPLAINT
Show the poster entitled Making a Complaint found in Appendix A. Indicate that the skill definition on the poster summarizes recommendations provided by students. Point to each skill step on the poster as it is discussed. Afterward, ask the class to read the skill definition in chorus.
MAKING A COMPLAINT
1. Relax if you are upset.
2. Decide who to complain to.
Talk to the person who caused the problem.
Talk to someone who can help.
3. Use a pleasant voice.
4. Say the person's name (if you know it) and state you have a problem.
“(person’s name), I have a problem. I wonder if you could help?”
5. Politely state the problem.
6. Thank the person for listening.
EXPAND STEP TWO OF SKILL DEFINITION - DECIDE WHO TO COMPLAIN TO
Explain that it is important to complain to the person who is causing a problem or to a person who can help.
Read the following stories and ask students to identify if the character made a good choice in whom to complain to. Discuss.
STORY ONE
Mary was unhappy because her sister, Andrea, would not help clean the bedroom the two girls shared. Mary complained to her friend but never talked to anyone else about her problem.
STORY TWO
Roberto loves to play basketball. Today he was playing with his friends. Roberto was sad because they never threw him the ball. When the boys took a time out to get a drink, he complained in a polite way and asked that they throw him the ball at times.
STORY THREE
Rick asked his little brother to feed his turtle while he was away for two days on a camping trip. His little brother, Calvin, forgot to feed the turtle. When Rick arrived home, he noticed that the turtle had not been fed. Rick was upset. He relaxed, went to his brother, and explained that he was disappointed his turtle went hungry for two days.
STORY FOUR
Angela is upset that her good friend, Amy, did not meet her at the park this afternoon. After arriving home, Angela called several of her friends and complained about Amy.
MODEL SKILL AND DEMONSTRATE EXAMPLES AND NONEXAMPLES
Use situations provided below or those described earlier by students to demonstrate the skill of making a complaint. Recruit volunteer students to be people you make complaint to. Ask students to provide a grade for each role play. After each role play, review if each skill step was employed. Continue until two demonstrations have been completed.
Indicate to students that the following role plays may contain errors. Mix examples and nonexamples of the skill. Nonexamples might involve use of an unpleasant voice, failure to state the person's name, failure to state the problem politely or failure to say "Thank you." Ask students to provide a grade for each role play based on the skill definition.
SITUATIONS:
1. At a restaurant you order a hamburger and an orange soda. The waitress brings you a root beer instead of an orange soda.
2. You enjoyed playing in Jake's backyard until his parents bought him a dog. The dog growls at you, jumps at you and twice has snapped at you. Yesterday, the dog tore a hole in your pants.
3. While you're trying to watch television, your sister is playing her C.D. player so loud you can't hear.
4. You are disappointed to find you received a D on your math test. However, after you check your errors, you realize your teacher marked several answers wrong that were correct.
5. After buying a video game, you find it does not work. You take the game back to the store for a refund.
6. Every time your friend borrows your bike he forgets to bring it back until you remind him.
7. You’re eating in the lunchroom. You find that you’re carton of mild contains sour mild that smells and tastes terrible.
STUDENT ROLE PLAYS
Ask volunteer students to role play use of the skill. Use situations suggested by students or those described above. Ask students to observe and provide corrective feedback based on the skill definition. Prompt the class to provide applause after each role play.
CLASSWIDE ROLE PLAYS (OPTIONAL):
This is a lengthy, but highly valuable, activity that can be completed in an extended session or in a separate session in which a couple of previously taught skills are reviewed. A great deal of structure is required as student attention can easily be lost.
The activity involves breaking the class into groups of three students. Each group role plays the skill of making a complaint for various situations provided by the instructor. Use situations identified above or those provided by students.
Detailed instructions are provided in Lesson Two on page 21. Those directions can be adapted for the skill of making a complaint.
COOPERATIVE LEARNING ACTIVITY (OPTIONAL):
As with classwide role plays, this activity requires an extended session length or can be completed in a separate session. This is a valuable activity that requires not only review of the social skill being taught, but use of other social skills as students work together to accomplish a goal. Again, a great deal of structure is needed to maintain student attention.
This activity involves students working in groups of three to complete a story starter activity found in Appendix B. After a story ending is written, each group is asked to read their story and provide a role play of the story content to the class.
Detailed instructions are provided in Lesson Two on page 22. Those directions can be adapted for the purpose of this lesson.
CLASSWIDE CONTRACTING
Instruct students that if the need arises, use the people smart skill of making a complaint prior to the next session.
Describe that at the outset of the next session, names will be randomly selected. If a selected student is able to describe use of the skill, as well as demonstrate the skill in a role play, he/she will earn a surprise reward.
A poster with the definition of making a complaint can be found in Appendix A. Place the poster in a prominent location in the classroom.
Provide rewards, such as candy or school implements, to winners identified at the start of
the session.
REVIEW EXERCISE TO BE COMPLETED BEFORE NEXT SESSION (OPTIONAL):
Review the skill of making a complaint at some point prior to the next session. Ask students to write an ending to the story starter provided below. Instruct students that the ending should describe the main character making a complaint the people smart way.
STORY WRITING ACTIVITY
DIRECTIONS: Please write an ending to the following story. Describe Erica making a complaint the people smart way.
TROUBLE WITH SISTER
Erica walks into her bedroom and finds her toys spread about the floor. She feels very angry. Erica knows that her little sister has been playing in her room again without asking her.
LESSON TWENTY
WHEN SOMEONE BREAKS THE RULES OF A GAME
LESSON OVERVIEW
PURPOSE: To provide students a socially appropriate and constructive method of responding to a peer who breaks game rules.
SKILL DEFINITION:
WHEN SOMEONE BREAKS THE RULES OF A GAME:
1. Relax if you are upset.
2. Call time out
3. Say the person's name.
4. Use a pleasant voice.
5. Politely describe the rule.
"The rule is....."
6. Even if the person argues say, “Let’s try again.”
7. Politely leave if the person won’t follow the rule.
INSTRUCTIONAL SEQUENCE:
Review content of previous session
Drawing for homework winners
Introductory story - when someone breaks the rules of a game
Story discussion questions
Student descriptions of playing a game in which the rules are broken
Student brainstorming - what to do when someone breaks the rules of a game
Skill definition - when someone breaks the rules of a game
Skill modeled by volunteer students
Student role plays
Rationales generated by students to support use of the skill
Cooperative learning activity (optional)
Classwide contracting
Review exercise to be completed before next session (optional)
SESSION LENGTH: Approximately 30 – 50 minutes
LESSON TWENTY
WHEN SOMEONE BREAKS THE RULES OF A GAME
REVIEW CONTENT OF PREVIOUS SESSION
Briefly describe the story "Buggy Spaghetti" from the previous lesson. Ask students to describe how to make a complaint the people smart way.
MAKING A COMPLAINT
1. Relax if you are upset.
2. Decide who to complain to.
Talk to the person who caused the problem.
Talk to someone who can help.
3. Use a pleasant voice.
4. Say the person's name (if you know it) and state you have a problem.
“(person’s name), I have a problem. I wonder if you could help?”
5. Politely state the problem.
6. Thank the person for listening.
DRAWING FOR HOMEWORK WINNERS
Request that a student who is listening effectively, as described in Lesson One, draw from the jar containing student names. The selected student is asked to identify if he/she, since the last session, used the skill of making a complaint as taught in Lesson Nineteen. If the student is able to describe making a complaint, as well as act out a role play, he/she wins a surprise reward at the end of the session. Emphasize the importance of being polite and stating the complaint to someone who can help. Continue until at least three winners are found.
INTRODUCTORY STORY - WHEN SOMEONE BREAKS THE RULES OF A GAME
Read the following story. Indicate to students that questions will be asked after the story is completed.
FOUR SQUARE FRACAS
Mrs. Cooper was collecting papers when she announced to the class, "The recess bell will ring in just a minute. Please remember to walk quietly down the hall."
Frank lived for recess. It was his favorite part of the day. Leaning over to his neighbor, Frank announced, "Hey Andy, let's play four square at recess."
"Okay," said Andy in a happy voice.
As the recess bell rang, Frank and Andy glanced at each other. Both knew where the other was headed.
A brisk, chilly breeze blew into Frank's face as he walked onto the playground. With a large playground ball in hand, he headed straight for the four square courts. Within moments, Andy and two other students were present.
"Hey, no slams," stated Andy in a strong voice.
"I'm serving," said Andre, one of the boys who regularly played four square.
For several minutes the four boys enjoyed the game. However, the fun suddenly halted when Frank loudly stated, "Hey, you slammed the ball, Andy. That's cheating. You're out of the game."
"No, I didn't," protested Andy in an irritated voice.
"Yes, you did. You can't play if you cheat," yelled Frank.
"I don't have to leave. You're not the boss you know," screamed Andy.
"Cheaters can't play here," stated Frank in a nasty voice.
The two boys glared at each other in a threatening manner. Sensing trouble, several students playing nearby stopped their activities to observe. Within moments, Mrs. Cooper was standing in the midst of the growing crowd.
"What seems to be the problem here?" asked Mrs. Cooper in a serious voice.
"He cheated by slamming the ball!" yelled Frank, a finger pointing at Andy.
"He's lying. I didn't cheat," screamed Andy, his face red with anger.
STORY DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
1. What caused the fun to stop?
ANSWER: Frank told Andy to leave the game after Andy broke a rule by slamming the ball.
2. How do Frank and Andy feel right now?
ANSWER: Angry, upset
3. What might happen next?
ANSWER: The game will end.
They will lose their recess.
Accept any reasonable response.
4. Do you think Andy will play with Frank again? Why or why not?
ANSWER: Accept any reasonable response.
STUDENT DESCRIPTION OF PLAYING A GAME IN WHICH THE RULES ARE BROKEN
Ask students to describe examples of being frustrated by someone who breaks the rules of a game. Instruct students not to identify the rule breaker. Discuss the consequences of rule breaking for the rule breaker and game participants.
Make the following points:
1. Rule breaking in games is irritating but common.
2. Acts such as name calling, threatening and trying to kick people who break rules out of games usually don’t work. Such acts just stop the fun and often end in arguments, lost friends and even getting into trouble with adults.
STUDENT BRAINSTORMING - WHAT TO DO WHEN SOMEONE BREAKS THE RULES OF A GAME.
Ask students to describe what can be done when someone breaks the rules of a game. Indicate that solutions must meet the two conditions described below (write on the board):
1. The solution must be respectful to the rule breaker.
No threats, hitting, name calling, etc
2. It is likely the rule breaker will stop breaking rules.
Write responses on the board. Do not recognize responses which violate the above conditions.
SKILL DEFINITION - WHEN SOMEONE BREAKS THE RULES OF A GAME
Display the poster entitled, When Someone Breaks the Rules of a Game, which is found in Appendix A. Indicate that student responses can be summarized by this skill definition. Read and review the skill steps. Afterward ask the class to read the skill steps in chorus.
WHEN SOMEONE BREAKS THE RULES OF A GAME:
1. Relax if you are upset.
2. Call time out
3. Say the person's name.
4. Use a pleasant voice.
5. Politely describe the rule.
"The rule is....."
6. Even if the person argues say, “Let’s try again.”
7. Politely leave if the person won’t follow the rule.
SKILL MODELED BY VOLUNTEER STUDENTS
Students should not be involved in role plays in which they demonstrate rule violating behaviors. Rule violating is to be role played by the instructor only.
Select three volunteer students to imitate playing four square with the instructor. Select students who will likely be able to demonstrate the skill at this point in the lesson. Review the skill with the students. The instructor breaks rules by slamming the ball and holding the ball. It may be necessary to provide prompts to the students.
Afterward provide applause to the students, show the poster and review if each skill step was used.
STUDENT ROLE PLAYS
Ask volunteer students to role play use of the skill. Use situations suggested by students or those described below. The instructor or another adult should play the role of breaking a game rule. Provide an opportunity for as many students as possible to practice the skill since classwide role plays are not recommended. Ask students to observe and provide corrective feedback based on the skill definition.
SITUATIONS:
1. A friend grabs the ball and throws it while playing tetherball.
2. A player takes extra steps while playing basketball.
3. A player tries to tag people in a safe zone while playing tag.
4. You and a friend are playing catch with a football. You agree not to kick the
ball. In time, your friend kicks the ball.
5. While playing checkers, your friend moves two spaces instead of one.
6. While playing a board game, your friend moves an extra space on the board.
RATIONALES GENERATED BY STUDENTS TO SUPPORT USE OF THE SKILL
Ask students to identify why it is important to use each skill step. Write responses of the board.
EXAMPLE:
RELAX IF YOU ARE UPSET
You will be able to stay under control.
You will be able to think better.
You probably won't do something that would get you into trouble.
You will feel better.
CALL TIME OUT
Stops the game.
A good way to get everyone's attention.
SAY THE PERSON'S NAME
The person will pay attention to you.
USE A PLEASANT VOICE
The person will want to listen to you.
The person will not feel bad.
The person will be more cooperative.
POLITELY DESCRIBE THE RULE
The person will listen if you are polite.
The person may not know the rule.
The person may have forgotten the rule.
Lets the person know how to play the game.
EVEN IF THE PERSON ARGUES SAY, “LET’S TRY AGAIN.”
Directs attention back to playing the game.
Avoids an argument.
IF THE PERSON BREAKS THE RULE AGAIN, POLITELY LEAVE THE GAME AND FIND SOMETHING ELSE TO DO.
The person doesn't want to follow the rule.
You can't make people follow the rules.
It's no fun to play if someone keeps breaking the rules.
COOPERATIVE LEARNING ACTIVITY (OPTIONAL):
As with classwide role plays, this activity requires an extended session length or can be completed in a separate session. This is a valuable activity that requires not only review of the social skill being taught, but use of other social skills as students work together to accomplish a goal. Again, a great deal of structure is needed to maintain student attention.
This activity involves students working in groups of three to complete a story starter activity found in Appendix B. After a story ending is written, each group is asked to read their story and provide a role play of the story content to the class.
Detailed instructions are provided in Lesson Two on page 22. Those directions can be adapted for the purpose of this lesson.
CLASSWIDE CONTRACTING
Instruct students to use the skill prior to the next session if they find themselves in a game in which someone breaks the rules.
Describe that at the outset of the next session, names will be randomly selected. If a selected student is able to describe use of the skill, as well as demonstrate the skill in a role play, he/she will earn a surprise reward.
A poster with the definition of how to respond when someone breaks the rules of a game can be found in Appendix A. Place the poster in a prominent location in the classroom.
Provide rewards, such as candy or school implements, to winners identified at the start of
the session.
REVIEW EXERCISE TO BE COMPLETED BEFORE NEXT SESSION:
Review the skill at some point prior to the next session. Ask students to write an ending to the story starter provided below. Instruct students that the ending should describe the main character using the skill of responding the people smart way when someone breaks the rules of a game.
STORY WRITING ACTIVITY
DIRECTIONS: Please write an ending to the following story. Describe Ken being people smart when someone breaks the rules of a game.
SNEAKING A PEEK
Ken and several of his friends are playing hide and seek. Ken sees Mary peeking while she counts. Ken is upset because Mary is cheating.
LESSON TWENTY-ONE
RESPONDING TO A REPRIMAND
LESSION OVERVIEW
PURPOSE: To provide students a socially appropriate method of responding to a reprimand from an authority figure.
SKILL DEFINITION:
RESPONDING TO A REPRIMAND
1. Relax.
2. Make eye contact.
3. Have a serious face.
4. Listen.
5. Nod your head.
6. Follow directions.
7. With a polite voice say what you will do right the next time.
“Next time I will …..”
INSTRUCTIONAL SEQUENCE:
Review content of previous session
Drawing for homework winners
Introductory story - responding to a reprimand
Story discussion questions
Provide definition of "reprimand"
Student examples of being reprimanded and behaviors that result in reprimands
Identification of unhelpful responses to a reprimand
Student brainstorming - responding to a reprimand
Skill definition - responding to a reprimand
Skill modeled by volunteer students
Student role plays
Cooperative learning activity (optional)
Classwide contracting
Review exercise to be completed before next session (optional)
SESSION LENGTH: Approximately 30 – 50 minutes
LESSON TWENTY-ONE
RESPONDING TO A REPRIMAND
REVIEW CONTENT OF PREVIOUS SESSION
Briefly describe the story, Four Square Fracas, from the previous session. Ask students to describe how to respond the people smart way when someone breaks the rules of a game.
WHEN SOMEONE BREAKS THE RULES OF A GAME:
1. Relax if you are upset.
2. Call time out
3. Say the person's name.
4. Use a pleasant voice.
5. Politely describe the rule.
"The rule is....."
6. Even if the person argues say, “Let’s try again.”
7. Politely leave if the person won’t follow the rule.
DRAWING FOR HOMEWORK WINNERS
Request that a student who is listening effectively, as described in Lesson One, draw from the jar containing student names. The selected student is asked to identify if he/she, since the last session, responded the people smart way when someone broke the rules of a game. If the student is able to describe use of the skill, as well as act out a role play, he/she wins a surprise reward at the end of the session. Emphasize the importance of being relaxed, not arguing and finding another activity if the person continues to break the rules. Continue until at least three winners are found.
INTRODUCTORY STORY - RESPONDING TO A REPRIMAND
Read the following story. Indicate to students that questions will be asked after the story is completed.
GOING TO THE END OF THE LINE
Tom gave a great sigh of relief as the bell rang for lunch. He quickly put away his math book and looked around to find Andre, his best friend. Andre was at the end of the line forming at the classroom door. With great skill, Tom dashed around students and desks to join the line behind Andre.
"What are you playing at recess?" asked Andre.
"How about tag?" responded Tom.
"All right, but you'll never catch me," exclaimed Andre. "You're as slow as an overweight turtle."
Before Tom could respond to this comment, the line began moving out of the classroom and down the hall. Andre looked back at Tom with a huge grin, knowing he had gotten the last word. "Ha ha!" laughed Andre in a low voice.
Tom couldn't resist responding. He quickened his pace to be just behind Andre. Tom kicked the soles of Andre's shoes with every step Andre took.
Within seconds, Mrs. Smith asked the line to stop. "We seem to be having some problems keeping our feet to ourselves. Tom, please go to the end of the line."
"But Mrs. Smith, I wasn't doing anything," pleaded Tom.
With a firm voice and a frown on her face, Mrs. Smith insisted, "Tom, go to the end of the line now."
Tom began to pout. His lower lip grew, he squinted his eyes and whined, "But why? I wasn't doing anything."
Instantly, Mrs. Smith's long arm reached out. With a firm grasp, she assisted Tom to the end of the line. "Tom, I want to see you in the room immediately after you finish your lunch. We need to talk."
STORY DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
1. At first Tom was in a little bit of trouble with Mrs. Smith. Then he found himself in big trouble. What did Tom do first that cause him to get into a little bit of trouble?
ANSWER: He was kicking the heels of Andre’s shoes.
2. All of a sudden Tom was in huge trouble with Mrs. Smith. What did he do that caused him to get into big trouble?
ANSWER: Tom did not follow his teacher's directions.
Tom talked back.
3. Besides talking back and not following directions, what else did Tom do that caused Mrs. Smith to be upset? Think about Tom’s voice and facial expression.
ANSWER: Tom used a whiney voice and he was probably pouting (sulking).
4. How did Mrs. Smith feel when Tom talked back in a whiney voice?
ANSWER: Upset, frustrated, annoyed, angry.
5. What were the consequences for Tom for talking back?
ANSWER: He must talk to his teacher after lunch and lose at least part of his recess.
6. What might happen if you talked back to a teacher in this school?
ANSWER: Accept any reasonable response.
7. What should Tom have done?
ANSWER: Follow his teacher's directions.
Not talk back.
Accept any reasonable response.
PROVIDE DEFINITION OF REPRIMAND
Ask students to provide a definition of reprimand. Afterward, write the following definition on the board.
A reprimand is when an adult talks to you about something you've done wrong.
Explain that in the story above, Mrs. Smith reprimanded Tom for kicking the soles of Andre's shoes.
STUDENT EXAMPLES OF BEING REPRIMANDED AND BEHAVIORS THAT RESULT IN REPRIMANDS
Ask students to identify behaviors that may result in a reprimand. It may be helpful for the instructor to share personal examples in order to encourage student responding.
IDENTIFICATION OF UNHELPFUL RESPONSES TO A REPRIMANDED
Ask students to identify behaviors that get them into more trouble when reprimanded. Write responses on the board. Emphasize the unhelpfulness of the following acts:
Talking back
Making excuses
Blaming someone else
Whiney voice
Pouting (sulking)
Clarify that adults are unable to handle whining and pouting. These two behaviors often made adults more upset.
STUDENT BRAINSTORMING - RESPONDING TO A REPRIMAND
Ask students to describe how to best respond to a reprimand. Describe that the response should result in not getting into further trouble. Do not honor responses which describe inappropriate behavior. Write responses on the board.
SKILL DEFINITION - RESPONDING TO A REPRIMAND
Indicate to students that their suggestions are summarized by the seven steps described by the poster entitled, Responding to a Reprimand, found in Appendix A. Show the poster, review skill steps and afterward have the class read the poster in chorus. Emphasize the importance of relaxing in order to think clearly and stay under control.
RESPONDING TO A REPRIMAND
1. Relax.
2. Make eye contact.
3. Have a serious face.
4. Listen.
5. Nod your head.
6. Follow directions.
7. With a polite voice say what you will do right the next time.
“Next time I will …..”
SKILL MODELED BY VOLUNTEER STUDENTS
Select a pair of volunteer students who you feel will be able to demonstrate the skill. Review the skill steps with the students. It may be necessary during the role play to prompt the correct response from the volunteers.
In this role play the students are caught running up the hall. They almost knock over a teacher, played by the instructor, who is rounding a corner.
Instruct students to watch carefully to determine if all skill steps are used by the volunteer students. Read the skill steps from the poster and ask if each was used in the role play. Prompt the class to provide applause for the volunteers modeling the skill.
STUDENT ROLE PLAYS
Ask volunteer students to role play use of the skill. The instructor plays the role of reprimanding. Use situations provided by students or those described below. Provide an opportunity for as many students as possible to practice the skill since classwide role plays are not recommended. It is often efficient to run these role plays with pairs of students who find themselves in trouble. Instruct the class to observe and provide corrective feedback based on the skill definition.
SITUATIONS:
1. A student talks too loudly in the lunchroom.
2. A student comes in late from recess.
3. A student talks during class.
4. A student throws a ball over the playground fence.
5. A student runs a pencil along the wall while walking down a hall at school.
6. A child is caught calling other students names on the playground.
7. Two students are caught passing notes in class.
8. Students are caught pushing other students on the slide.
COOPERATIVE LEARNING ACTIVITY (OPTIONAL):
As with classwide role plays, this activity requires an extended session length or can be completed in a separate session. This is a valuable activity that requires not only review of the social skill being taught, but use of other social skills as students work together to accomplish a goal. Again, a great deal of structure is needed to maintain student attention.
This activity involves students working in groups of three to complete a story starter activity found in Appendix B. After a story ending is written, each group is asked to read their story and provide a role play of the story content to the class. It may be best for the instructor to play the role of an adult issuing a reprimand.
Detailed instructions are provided in Lesson Two on page 22. Those directions can be adapted for the purpose of this lesson.
CLASSWIDE CONTRACTING
Ask the class for a show of hands if they think they might get in trouble sometime prior to the next social skills session. Instruct students to be people smart by using the skill if they do find themselves in a reprimand situation.
Describe that at the outset of the next session, names will be randomly selected. If a selected student is able to describe use of the skill, as well as demonstrate the skill in a role play, he/she will earn a surprise reward.
A poster describing the skill steps can be found in Appendix A. Place the poster in a prominent location in the classroom.
Provide rewards, such as candy or school implements, to winners identified at the start of
the session.
REVIEW EXERCISE TO BE COMPLETED BEFORE NEXT SESSION (OPTIONAL):
Review the skill at some point prior to the next session. Ask students to write an ending to the story starter provided below. Instruct students that the ending should describe the main character responding the people smart way to a reprimand.
STORY WRITING ACTIVITY
DIRECTIONS: Please write an ending to the following story. Describe Amy responding the people smart way to a reprimand.
Trouble in the Hallway
Amy was having great fun swinging her backpack in the hall while chasing other students. She loved to hear them scream and run. The fun suddenly stopped when Mrs. Crandall walked out of her classroom into the hall and stated in a stern voice, “Amy, you come over here right now. I need to talk to you!”
LESSON TWENTY-TWO
APOLOGIZING
LESSON OVERVIEW
PURPOSE: To provide students a socially appropriate method of apologizing and an understanding of the importance of expressing regret for hurtful acts.
DEFINITION OF APOLOGIZING: An apology is telling a person you did something wrong and saying you are sorry.
SKILL DEFINITION:
APOLOGIZING
1. Act as soon as possible.
2. Have a serious voice and face.
3. Make eye contact
4. Say the person's name.
5. Say you are sorry.
6. Explain why.
7. Suggest or ask what you can do to help.
INSTRUCTIONAL SEQUENCE:
Review content of previous session
Drawing for homework winners
Introductory story - responding to a reprimand
Story discussion questions
Provide definition of "apology"
Student examples of behaviors that require apologizing
Student brainstorming - apologizing
Skill definition - apologizing
Expand step seven of skill definition - suggest or ask what you can do to help
Model skill and demonstrate examples and nonexamples
Student role plays
Student brainstorming - rationales for apologizing
Classwide role plays (optional)
Cooperative learning activity (optional)
Classwide contracting
Review exercise to be completed before next session
SESSION LENGTH: Approximately 30 - 50 minutes
LESSON TWENTY-TWO
APOLOGIZING
REVIEW CONTENT OF PREVIOUS SESSION
Briefly describe the story, Going to the End of the Line, from the previous lesson. Ask students to describe how to respond to a reprimand the people smart way.
RESPONDING TO A REPRIMAND
1. Relax.
2. Make eye contact.
3. Have a serious face.
4. Listen.
5. Nod your head.
6. Follow directions.
7. With a polite voice say what you will do right the next time.
“Next time I will…..”
DRAWING FOR HOMEWORK WINNERS
Request that a student who is listening effectively, as described in Lesson One, draw from the jar containing student names. The selected student is asked to identify if he/she, since the last session, used the people smart way of responding to a reprimand. If the student is able to describe appropriately responding to a reprimand, as well as act out a role play, he/she wins a surprise reward at the end of the session. Emphasize the importance of being relaxed, following directions and not whining, pouting or talking back. Continue until at least three winners are found
INTRODUCTORY STORY - APOLOGIZING
Read the following story. Indicate to students that questions will be asked after the story is completed.
SPILLED SODA
When Angelita heard the sound of the horn she pulled back the drapes covering the large picture window. She spotted a maroon station wagon in the driveway driven by Mrs. Anderson. Seated next to Mrs. Anderson was Stacie, Angelita's best friend. Seeing the huge grin that covered Stacie's face, Angelita broke into a giggle.
Angelita had been waiting for what seemed to be hours for Stacie to arrive. The two planned to attend the Parkersville High School football game tonight. Angelita had never been to a football game before but was thrilled when her fifth grade classmate invited her earlier in the day.
"Mom, Stacie's here. I'll be back later this evening," stated Angelita in an excited voice.
"Okay dear," shouted Angelita's mother from the kitchen. "Have fun and be careful with Manuel's jacket."
"I will," replied Angelita as she bounded out the front door.
Angelita kicked leaves ahead of her as she ran through the brisk fall air to the station wagon. Stacie threw open the back door.
"Hi Stacie. Hi Mrs. Anderson," greeted Angelita, now somewhat out of breath as she slammed the door shut and seated herself next to Stacie.
"Cool, Angelita!" squealed Stacie in delight. "Where did you get the Parkersville High jacket?"
"Oh I borrowed it from my brother, Manuel. He got it a couple of years ago when he played basketball for Parkersville. Neat, huh?"
"Wow, I'll say so," agreed Stacie.
"The only problem is I can't let it get hurt. Manuel would kill me if anything happened to it. I had to beg him to let me wear it," stated Angelita in a serious voice.
The two girls visited in the back seat as Mrs. Anderson quickly drove the three miles to the Parkersville High School Stadium. After paying $2.00 to gain entrance, they headed for the concession stand to buy candy and drinks. A few minutes afterward Angelita and Stacie were seated in the fifth row watching the Parkersville Soaring Eagles play the Buckeye Bandits.
The two teams battled to a 0 - 0 tie at the end of the first half. At the start of the second half, the crowd stood to watch Buckeye kick off to Parkersville. Angelita and Stacie joined the cheering and clapping. The Buckeye kicker booted the ball high into the air. A Parkersville player caught it on the 20 yard line. The player quickly ran to the right, then back to the left and headed up field at a full gallop. He shed one player who grabbed his back, dodged two other Bandits and broke into the open for a run to the end zone. As the player scored, the crowd erupted into a frenzy of screaming and jumping. A fan behind Stacie bumped her, sending the large cup of soda she held into the air. The liquid splashed onto Stacie, and the Parkersville jacket.
As soda pop dripped from the jacket, Stacie and Angelita stared at each other with wide eyes and open mouths. Both understood the seriousness of what just happened. They frantically raced to the concession stand to find napkins. Despite their attempts to rub the jacket clean, stains from the soda pop remained.
"Wow, Manuel will never forgive me," stated Angelita in a mournful voice.
Sadness covered Stacie's face. "I'm so sorry Angelita. Somebody bumped me. I didn't mean to spill the drink."
"I know," said Angelita. "But Manuel will never understand. I'm dead now."
Later that evening Mrs. Anderson dropped Angelita off at her house. She carried the jacket under her arm with the outside folded in to hide the large stains. As Angelita opened the door she was greeted by Manuel who flashed a big smile and asked, "Who won the game, sis?"
Angelita looked away and fumbled for words.
STORY DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
1. How did Angelita and Stacie feel when the jacket was stained with soda pop?
ANSWER: Surprised, shocked, upset, frightened, confused.
2. Do you think it was a good idea for Angelita to wear Manuel's valuable school jacket to the game?
ANSWER: Probably not since it was very valuable.
Accept any reasonable response.
3. Angelita said that Manuel would never forgive her. Do you think this is true?
ANSWER: Accept any reasonable response.
4. Have you ever damaged something belonging to someone else? Please explain.
ANSWER: Accept any reasonable response.
5. What should Angelita do now?
ANSWER: Apologize to Manuel.
6. Why doesn’t Angelita apologize? Why does she fumble for words as if she can’t speak?
ANSWER: She is not relaxed and so upset she can’t speak.
She has not practiced apologizing and now doesn’t know what to say.
PROVIDE DEFINITION OF APOLOGY
Write the following definition on the board.
An apology is telling a person you did something wrong and saying you are sorry.
Discuss that apologizing requires admitting you did something that hurt a person and telling that person you feel badly.
STUDENT EXAMPLES OF BEHAVIORS THAT REQUIRE APOLOGIZING
Ask students to share personal examples of apologizing and identify behaviors that require an apology. The instructor should be prepared to model an example or two to start the discussion.
These examples will be used later in the session during role plays.
STUDENT BRAINSTORMING – HOW TO APOLOGIZE
Ask students to describe how to best apologize. Elicit responses by asking students to identify facial expression, tone of voice, and what is to be said. Write responses on the board.
SKILL DEFINITION - APOLOGIZING
Show the poster entitled Apologizing that is found in Appendix A. Indicate that student responses are summarized by this definition. Review each skill step. Afterward have the class read the poster in chorus.
APOLOGIZING
1. Act as soon as possible.
2. Have a serious voice and face.
3. Make eye contact
4. Say the person's name.
5. Say you are sorry.
6. Explain why.
7. Suggest or ask what you can do to help.
EXPAND STEP SEVEN OF SKILL DEFINITION - SUGGEST OR ASK WHAT YOU CAN DO TO HELP
Describe that it is helpful to ask the person what you can do to make up for the offense or to suggest something you can do to make up for it. Discuss the following examples.
EXAMPLE ONE:
Reggie broke his friends( bat while playing baseball. After apologizing, Reggie stated that he would buy his friend a new bat.
EXAMPLE TWO:
Alicia made fun of Kathy to a number of her friends. Later, Alicia found out that Kathy had overheard her. Alicia felt guilty. After apologizing, Alicia told Kathy that she would never do it again.
EXAMPLE THREE:
Pedro rode his bike through his neighbors( flowers. Pedro apologized and asked his neighbor what he could do to make up for the damage to the flowers.
Ask students to describe personal examples of making amends for a mistake. It may be helpful for the instructor to cite examples first.
MODEL SKILL AND DEMONSTRATE EXAMPLES AND NONEXAMPLES
Use situations provided below or those described earlier by students to demonstrate the skill. Recruit volunteer students to play the role of a person to whom the instructor apologizes. After each role play, ask students to provide a grade based on the skill definition. Review if each skill step was employed. Continue until two demonstrations have been completed.
Indicate to students that the following role plays may contain errors. Mix examples and nonexamples of the skill. Nonexamples might involve lack of eye contact, failure to describe the offense or failure to suggest or ask what you can do next. Ask students to provide a grade for each role play based on the skill definition.
SITUATIONS:
1. Mr. and Mrs. Jones, an elderly couple living next door, have planted hundreds of tulips in their front yard garden. You lose control of your bike and fall into the garden smashing dozens of flowers.
2. A boy kicks his friend’s football into a rose bush. The boy carries the deflated ball to his unhappy friend.
3. A girl is caught by her teacher copying from another student's paper.
4. A teacher reprimands two student after class for talking too much.
5. A boy accidentally lets his dogs out of the yard. The dogs knock over an elderly lady walking on the sidewalk.
6. A girl wears her sister’s clothing without asking.
7. A boy playfully pushes a friend who trips and cuts his arm.
8. A student is reprimanded by a teacher for coming into class late from recess.
9. A student is reprimanded by a teacher for playing in a school area that is off limits.
STUDENT ROLE PLAYS
Ask volunteer students to role play apologizing as described in the skill definition. The instructor, or another student volunteer, plays the role of the person to whom the apology is delivered. Use situations described earlier by students or those described above. Ask students to observe and provide corrective feedback based on the skill definition.
STUDENT BRAINSTORMING - RATIONALES FOR APOLOGIZING
Ask students to describe reasons why one should apologize for behaviors that hurt or offend other people. Write responses on the board.
EXAMPLES:
1. It shows respect.
2. You will feel less guilty.
3. Helps make the other person feel better.
4. Helps to maintain friendship if you hurt a friend.
5. To avoid punishment.
6. Others will see you as courageous.
7. Others will see you as honest.
8. Other person will be less likely to get even.
9. Other person will apologize if he/she hurts you.
CLASSWIDE ROLE PLAYS (OPTIONAL):
This is a lengthy, but highly valuable, activity that can be completed in an extended session or in a separate session. A great deal of structure is required as student attention can easily be lost.
The activity involves breaking the class into groups of three students. Each group role plays the skill of apologizing for various situations provided by the instructor. Use situations identified above or those provided by students.
Detailed instructions are provided in Lesson Two on page 21. Those directions can be adapted for the skill of apologizing.
COOPERATIVE LEARNING ACTIVITY (OPTIONAL):
As with classwide role plays, this activity requires an extended session length or can be completed in a separate session. This is a valuable activity that requires not only review of the social skill being taught, but use of other social skills as students work together to accomplish a goal. Again, a great deal of structure is needed to maintain student attention.
This activity involves students working in groups of three to complete a story starter activity found in Appendix B. After a story ending is written, each group is asked to read their story and provide a role play of the story content to the class.
Detailed instructions are provided in Lesson Two on page 22. Those directions can be adapted for the purpose of this lesson.
CLASSWIDE CONTRACTING
Instruct students to be people smart by using the skill prior to the next session if they find themselves in a situation calling for an apology.
Describe that, at the outset of the next session, names will be randomly selected. If a selected student is able to describe use of the skill, as well as demonstrate the skill in a role play, he/she will earn a surprise reward.
A poster with the apology skill steps can be found in Appendix A. Place the poster in a prominent location in the classroom.
Provide rewards, such as candy or school implements, to winners identified at the start of
the session.
REVIEW EXERCISE TO BE COMPLETED BEFORE NEXT SESSION (OPTIONAL):
Review the skill of apologizing at some point prior to the next session. Ask students to write an ending to the story starter provided below. Instruct students that the ending should describe the main character apologizing the people smart way.
STORY WRITING ACTIVITY
DIRECTIONS: Please write an ending to the following story. Describe Tony apologizing the people smart way.
LOCKED OUT
Tony was happy his teacher asked him to run out to her car. Mrs. Blake gave Tony her car keys to unlock the front door and bring in two books she left on the front seat. Tony opened the car door, put the keys on the seat and took out the books. He locked the door and then shut it. Suddenly Tony saw Mrs. Blake's keys sitting inside the locked car. Tony thought about what he should say when he brings the books to Mrs. Blake.
LESSON TWENTY-THREE
WHEN A FRIEND ASKS YOU TO GET INTO TROUBLE
LESSON OVERVIEW
PURPOSE: To provide students a socially appropriate and constructive strategy to refuse the invitation of a friend to engage in inappropriate behavior.
SKILL DEFINITION:
SAYING NO WHEN A FRIEND ASKS YOU TO GET INTO TROUBLE
1. Ask questions.
2. Be serious.
Make eye contact.
Use a firm voice.
Say your friend's name.
3. Say, "No."
4. Explain why.
5. Invite your friend to do something else.
6. Politely leave if your friend will not join you.
INSTRUCTIONAL SEQUENCE:
Review content of previous session
Drawing for homework winners
Introductory story - when a friend asks you to get into trouble
Story discussion questions
Student examples of being asked by a friend to get into trouble
Define peer pressure
Student brainstorming - saying no when a friend asks you to get into trouble
Skill definition - saying no when a friend asks you to get into trouble
Expand step one of skill definition - ask questions
Skill modeled by student volunteers
Student role plays
Cooperative learning activity (optional)
Classwide contracting
Review exercise to be completed before next session (optional)
SESSION LENGTH: Approximately 30 – 50 minutes
LESSON TWENTY-THREE
WHEN A FRIEND ASKS YOU TO GET INTO TROUBLE
REVIEW CONTENT OF PREVIOUS SESSION
Briefly describe the story "Spilled Soda" from the previous session. Ask students to describe how to apologize as taught in Session Nineteen.
APOLOGIZING
1. Act as soon as possible.
2. Have a serious voice and face.
3. Make eye contact.
4. Say the person's name.
5. Say you are sorry.
6. Explain why.
7. Suggest or ask what you can do to help.
DRAWING FOR HOMEWORK WINNERS
Request that a student who is listening effectively, as described in Lesson One, draw from the jar containing student names. The selected student is asked to identify if he/she, since the last session, used the people smart skill of apologizing. If the student is able to describe an example of apologizing, as well as act out a role play, he/she wins a surprise reward at the end of the session. Emphasize the importance of having a serious voice and face, saying you're sorry and suggesting or asking what you can do to help. Continue until at least three winners are found.
INTRODUCTORY STORY - WHEN A FRIEND ASKS YOU TO GET INTO TROUBLE
Read the following story. Indicate to students that questions will be asked after the story is completed.
UNDER THE SYCAMORE TREE
Angie put down the romance novel to answer the door. She wondered who would be knocking at 8:00 A.M. on a Saturday morning. Angie looked through the peek hole in the door before unlocking it. Much to her pleasure, she saw her best friend, Kathy, standing at the doorstep.
"Hi Kathy," Angie bubbled as she opened the door. "What's going on?"
"Nothing really," said Kathy. "Why don't you come out. I want to talk to you."
Angie ventured into the warm spring sunshine. A cool but gentle breeze blew across the doorstep. She quickly determined she would rather play outside than continue reading her book in the house.
"So what's up?" asked Angie.
"Well, come on over here under the tree away from the house," said Kathy. I've got something really neat to tell you."
"Why can't you tell me here?" questioned Angie in a voice filled with curiosity.
"Because I can't," explained Kathy.
Angie walked with Kathy under the giant sycamore tree the two girls had played in for years.
"Well, what is it?' demanded Angie in a strong voice.
"Shh! Don't talk so loud," warned Kathy. In a whisper she went on. "I've got a great plan for fun today. Let's walk down to the store and take some candy. We can go over to my house and have a great party. My parents are gone and won't be back until this evening."
"What? You're crazy!" yelled Angie. "No way! My parents would kill me if I did that."
"Shh! Angie, quit talking so loud," demanded Kathy again. "We're not going to get caught. I've done this before, you know."
"Well I don't care!" said Angie emphatically. "I'm not doing it because I'd get in really big trouble."
Angie began to walk toward the house.
"Stop, Angie!" pleaded Kathy. "All right, you don't have to do it."
Kathy stopped to look back at her friend. "What do you mean?" she asked.
"Well, I'll go in and get the candy while you wait outside. Besides, all our friends - Amber, Jenny and Chrissy - said they'd help me," explained Kathy in a voice filled with confidence.
Angie was stunned to hear all her very best friends from school were involved in this. She couldn't disappoint them. If she didn't go they might never talk to her again.
With great fear Angie said, "Okay, I'll go but I know we're all going to get in giant trouble for this."
STORY DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
1. Does Angie want to go with Kathy and her friends?
ANSWER: No.
2. If Angie did not want to take candy from the store, why did she go with her friends?
ANSWER: She was afraid she would lose her friends if she did not go.
3. If Angie did not go, would she lose her friends?
ANSWER: Probably not.
4. Stealing candy from a store is shoplifting. What are the consequences for shoplifting?
ANSWER: Be taken home by the police.
Be sent to court.
Be sent to detention center.
Get in trouble with parents.
Not be allowed to play with friends again.
4. What would happen to Angie if she stayed outside the store and her friends got caught shoplifting inside the store?
ANSWER: She would be arrested also.
5. How might the story end?
ANSWER: Accept any reasonable response.
STUDENT EXAMPLES OF BEING ASKED BY A FRIEND TO GET IN TROUBLE
Ask students to describe examples of being asked to do something by a friend that would get you into trouble. Emphasize the need not to identify the individual by name. Discuss how the problem was resolved as well as consequences that followed. Suggest that it is not unusual to be asked to get into trouble.
DEFINE PEER PRESSURE
Indicate that in the story the character, Angie, went along with shoplifting because she feared losing friends if she didn’t. Ask students what two word phrase is used to describe when you feel you have to do something because your friends are doing it. It may be necessary and helpful to put the first letters of the peer pressure on the board as a prompt.
Write the term peer pressure on the board. Define peer pressure as feeling you need to do something because many other people your age are doing it. Indicate that the word peer means age mate, someone your age.
Indicate that often people do things they really don’t want to do because of peer pressure.
STUDENT BRAINSTORMING - SAYING NO WHEN A FRIEND ASKS YOU TO GET INTO TROUBLE
Ask students to identify appropriate responses to a friend who asks them to do something they consider wrong or would get them into trouble. Indicate that solutions must meet the following conditions. Write on the board.
1. You stay out of trouble.
2. Your friend stays out of trouble.
3. You don't lose a friend.
Write student responses on the board.
SKILL DEFINITION - SAYING NO WHEN A FRIEND ASKS YOU TO GET INTO TROUBLE
Show the poster entitled, Saying No When a Friend Asks You to Get Into Trouble, found in Appendix A. Indicate that student responses can be summarized by this solution. Read the poster and review skill steps. Afterward, ask the class to read the poster in chorus.
SAYING NO WHEN A FRIEND ASKS YOU TO GET INTO TROUBLE
1. Ask questions.
2. Be serious.
Make eye contact.
Use a firm voice.
Say your friend's name.
3. Say, “No."
4. Explain why.
5. Invite your friend to do something else.
6. Politely leave if your friend will not join you.
EXPAND STEP ONE OF SKILL DEFINITION - ASK QUESTIONS
Indicate to students that asking questions helps you understand what your friend wants you to do. It also gives you time to think about what to say.
Ask students to identify questions that could be asked. Write responses on the board.
EXAMPLES:
1. Why do you want to do it?
2. When are you going to do it?
3. Who else are you going to do it with?
4. How are you going to do it?
5. Where are you going to do it?
6. Have you ever done it before?
7. What will happen if you do it?
SKILL MODELED BY VOLUNTEER STUDENTS
Select two volunteer students who you think will be able to successfully demonstrate use of the skill. Review the skill steps with these students. In this role play the instructor plays the role of a child asking the volunteers to throw rocks at an abandoned house. It may be necessary to prompt responses from the volunteers. Afterward, review the skill steps on the poster and ask the class if each step was employed. Prompt the class to provide applause for the volunteer students.
STUDENT ROLE PLAYS
Whole class role plays in small groups are not recommended since this procedure would require a student or students to engage in the negative behavior of asking a peer to get into trouble. Only the instructor assumes this role. As a result, it will be important to include as many students as possible in role plays. Pairing students will be helpful. Use situations provided earlier by students or those described below. Ask students to observe and provide corrective feedback based on the skill definition.
Many students will make extended efforts to invite their friend to engage in an alternative activity (skill step 5). This sometimes borders on begging. Indicate that it is wise to invite but not helpful to beg. Furthermore, one should leave quickly if the friend says no in order to avoid peer pressure or being in proximity to an inappropriate act.
SITUATIONS:
1. A friend asks you to take someone's bike without asking.
2. A classmate asks you to scribble on another student's spelling paper.
3. A friend asks you to trespass on private property.
4. A classmate asks you to leave the school grounds at lunch.
5. A friend asks you to pull the fire alarm at school.
6. A friend asks you to throw rocks at cars from the far end of the playground.
7. A friend dares you to jump a fence and run through a yard housing a large, vicious dog.
8. A friend asks you to help him sneak into your classroom at lunch recess and dump your teacher's spelling book in the trash.
9. A friend asks you to use the hose in your backyard to spray water in the open window of a neighbor's house.
10. A friend asks you to trip another student whom your friend does not like.
COOPERATIVE LEARNING ACTIVITY (OPTIONAL):
As with classwide role plays, this activity requires an extended session length or can be completed in a separate session. This is a valuable activity that requires not only review of the social skill being taught, but use of other social skills as students work together to accomplish a goal. Again, a great deal of structure is needed to maintain student attention.
This activity involves students working in groups of three to complete a story starter activity found in Appendix B. After a story ending is written, each group is asked to read their story and provide a role play of the story content to the class. It will be necessary for the instructor to play the role of the individual suggesting an inappropriate activity.
Detailed instructions are provided in Lesson Two on page 22. Those directions can be adapted for the purpose of this lesson.
CLASSWIDE CONTRACTING
Instruct students to use the skill prior to the next session if they find themselves being asked by a friend to get into trouble.
Describe that, at the outset of the next session, names will be randomly selected. If a selected student is able to describe use of the skill, as well as demonstrate the skill in a role play, he/she will earn a surprise reward.
A poster describing the skill steps can be found in Appendix A. Place the poster in a prominent location in the classroom.
Provide rewards, such as candy or school implements, to winners identified at the start of
the session.
REVIEW EXERCISE TO BE COMPLETED BEFORE NEXT SESSION (OPTIONAL):
Review the skill at some point prior to the next session. Ask students to write an ending to the story starter provided below. Instruct students that the ending should describe the main character saying no to trouble the people smart way.
STORY WRITING ACTIVITY
DIRECTIONS: Please write an ending to the following story. Describe Amy saying (no( to trouble.
OUT OF BOUNDS
Andre ran up to his friend Amy on the playground and flashed a big smile.
"Hey, Amy. Let's do something fun. Some first graders are playing with a playground ball near the swings. Let's take their ball and throw it over the fence. They'll get real upset!"
APPENDIX
SKILL DEFINITION POSTERS
(Alphabetically Presented)
APOLOGIZING
1. Act as soon as possible.
2. Serious voice and face.
3. Make eye contact.
4. Say the person’s name.
5. Say you are sorry.
6. Explain why.
7. Suggest or ask what
you can do to make up
for your offense.
ASKING FOR HELP
Is it an emergency?
Emergency:
Interrupt by saying “Excuse me.”
Describe the problem.
Thank the person.
Not an emergency:
Wait till person is not busy.
Say the person’s name.
Ask if the person can help.
“I have a problem. Could you please help me?”
Describe the problem.
Thank the person.
COMPLIMENTING
1. Make eye contact.
2. Smile.
3. Use an excited voice.
4. Say person’s
name.
5. Tell the person what
you like.
6. The person who is
complimented should say, “Thank you.”
EXPRESSING ANGER
1. Relax.
2. Be serious.
Eye contact.
Firm voice.
Serious face.
3. Tell the person you
are angry.
4. Explain why.
5. Don’t hurt.
Don’t hit, name
Call, threaten.
Expressing Gratitude
Expressing gratitude means saying thank-you to someone for doing something helpful or special.
Eye Contact
Friendly Voice
Say Person’s Name
Say, “Thank You.”
Tell person what you are thanking them for.
EXPRESSING SYMPATHY
1. Eye Contact
2. Serious face and voice
3. Say how you feel:
“I feel sad that.........”
“I feel sorry that......”
“I feel awful that.....”
“It(s terrible that......”
4. Tell the person what you feel sad about:
“I feel sad that your dog died.”
“I feel terrible your bike was stolen.”
“I’m sorry you have to be in a cast.”
5. Ask if you can help
“Is there anything I can do to help?”
GIVING ADVICE
1. Be friendly.
Make eye contact
Smile
Use a friendly voice
2. Say the person’s name.
3. Make a statement of concern
“That looks like a
tough job.”
4. Ask to make a suggestion.
5. Word the suggestion
positively.
Tell the person how to
do it.
6. Wish the person success.
GREETING AN
ACQUAINTANCE
Greeting is saying hello to someone you know.
1. Look Friendly
Eye Contact
Smile.
Friendly Voice
2. Say, “Hi.”
3. Say the Person’s
Name.
4. Ask a Question That
Makes Sense.
JOINING A
CONVERSATION
1. Walk up close.
An arm’s length away.
2. Listen.
3. Wait for a pause.
4. Greet.
5. Ask a question or make a comment that makes sense.
JOINING A
GAME
1. Walk up close.
2. Wait for a Pause.
3. Greet.
4. Compliment.
5. Ask Politely to Play.
KEEPING A
CONVERSATION
GOING
Take turns asking and
answering questions.
Share the conversation
time.
Talk about the same
thing.
☺
Listening in the Classroom
Listening in the classroom means to
look at the teacher and
sit still.
☺
MAKING A FRIEND
1. Look Friendly
Make Eye Contact
Smile
Use a Happy Voice
2. Say, “Hi.”
3. Say Your Name.
4. Ask the Person’s
Name.
5. Ask Questions.
6. Invite to Play
MAKING A COMPLAINT
1. Relax.
2. Decide who to complain to.
Person who caused the problem.
Someone who can help.
3. Use a pleasant voice.
4. Say the person’s name and say
you have a problem.
“person’s name I have a problem. I wonder if you could help?”
5. Politely state the problem.
6. Thank the person
POLITE WORDS
PLEASE
THANK YOU
YOU’RE WELCOME
EXCUSE ME OR
PARDON ME
RELAXING WHEN UPSET
1. Close your eyes.
2. Take a deep breath.
3. Hold for one second.
4. Slowly and steadily
release air.
5. Repeat until calm.
RESPONDING TO A REPRIMAND
1. Relax.
2. Make eye contact.
3. Have a serious face.
4. Listen.
5. Nod your head.
6. Follow directions.
7. Politely say what you
will do right the next
time.
RESPONDING TO
HURTFUL TEASING
1. Relax.
2. Ignore.
Look away.
Say nothing.
Do something that keeps you busy.
3. Walk away if you can.
4. Tell an adult if teasing continues.
SHARING
Sharing is giving
something you have.
You can share:
( things
( experiences
( time
( skills.
Social skills are what we do to:
make friends,
get along with
others and
solve problems.
SAYING NO WHEN A FRIEND ASKS YOU
TO GET IN TROUBLE
1. Ask questions.
2. Be Serious.
Make eye contact.
Use a firm voice.
Say friend’s name.
3. Say, “No.”
4. Explain why.
5. Invite your friend to do
something else.
6. Politely leave if your friend
will not join you.
WHEN A FRIEND IS TEASED
Relax.
Ignore the teaser.
Calm voice.
Eye contact and say
friend’s name
Invite your friend to
play.
Leave if your friend
won’t play.
WHEN SOMEONE BREAKS THE RULES OF A GAME
1. Relax.
2. Call time-out.
3. Say the person’s name.
4. Use a pleasant voice.
5. Politely state the rule.
“The rule is.....”
6. Even if the person argues say,
“Let’s try again.”
7. Politely leave if the person won’t
follow the rules.
WHEN SOMEONE SAYS YOU
CAN’T PLAY
1. Relax - breathe slowly.
2. With a friendly voice say, “Okay.”
3. Politely ask when you can play or
to take turns.
“When can I play?”
“Can I play in the next game?”
“Can I play when you’re done?”
If your friends still say no, find someone else to play with.
APPENDIX B
STORY STARTERS
Arranged in alphabetical order
Apologizing
Story Starter One
Act as soon as possible.
Have a serious voice and face.
Make eye contact.
Say the person’s name.
Say you are sorry.
Explain why.
Suggest or ask what you can do to help.
Directions: Please finish the following story so that Marcus apologizes for his mistake.
Marcus doesn’t want to lose Adam as a friend. Marcus knows Adam is mad at him for saying he runs like a moose after Adam lost a race on the playground. Marcus decides to apologize to Marcus and hope for the best.
Apologizing
Story Starter Two
Act as soon as possible.
Have a serious voice and face.
Make eye contact.
Say the person’s name.
Say you are sorry.
Explain why.
Suggest or ask what you can do to help.
Directions: Please finish the following story so that Anne apologizes for her mistake.
Anne wishes she had watched where she was going. While carrying a full tray of food in the lunchroom she bumped into Mr. Wise. Now spaghetti is dripping down his shirt and peaches cover his shoes. Mr. Wise does not look happy.
Apologizing
Story Starter Three
Act as soon as possible.
Have a serious voice and face.
Make eye contact.
Say the person’s name.
Say you are sorry.
Explain why.
Suggest or ask what you can do to help.
Directions: Please finish the following story so that Gabe apologizes for his mistake.
Gabe saw the playground ball screaming toward him. He grabbed it out of the air and then kicked the red ball as hard as he could. The ball flew off his foot like a rocket. In an instant it hit Marie in the face. Marie now lays on the ground with tears covering her face.
Apologizing
Story Starter Four
Act as soon as possible.
Have a serious voice and face.
Make eye contact.
Say the person’s name.
Say you are sorry.
Explain why.
Suggest or ask what you can do to help.
Directions: Please finish the following story so that Rosa apologizes for her mistake.
Rosa feels awful. Her dog, poodles, slipped out of his collar on a walk. Poodles then ran up the street to Mr. and Mrs. Jones’ flower garden and dug up several beautiful tulips. Mr. Jones has his hands on his hips and looks mad as he sees the damage.
Asking for Help
Story Starter One
Decide if it is an emergency.
If it is an emergency, interrupt the person.
Say, “Excuse me.”
If it is not an emergency, wait till the person is not busy.
Say the person’s name (if you know it).
Tell the person you need help.
“I wonder if you could help me.”
“I need some help.”
Describe the problem.
Directions: Please finish the following story so that Daniel
asks for help the respectful way.
Daniel can’t remember if 7 x 6 is 42 or 52. He really needs to know in order to finish his math assignment. Daniel decides to ask his teacher, Mrs. Smith, for help. He walks to Mrs. Smith’s desk where she is showing another student how to complete the assignment.
Asking for Help
Story Starter Two
Decide if it is an emergency.
If it is an emergency, interrupt the person.
Say, “Excuse me.”
If it is not an emergency, wait till the person is not busy.
Say the person’s name (if you know it).
Tell the person you need help.
“I wonder if you could help me.”
“I need some help.”
Describe the problem.
Directions: Please finish the following story so that Marie and Ken ask for help the respectful way.
Marie and Ken are playing tag on the playground. Suddenly Marie slides on a patch of ice and falls to the ground. Ken runs to help and finds that blood is oozing from Marie’s mouth. Marie is sobbing and really looks hurt. Ken looks up to find Mr. Wise and Mrs. Jones several yards away on the playground. They’re talking.
Asking for Help
Story Starter Three
Decide if it is an emergency.
If it is an emergency, interrupt the person.
Say, “Excuse me.”
If it is not an emergency, wait till the person is not busy.
Say the person’s name (if you know it).
Tell the person you need help.
“I wonder if you could help me.”
“I need some help.”
Describe the problem.
Directions: Please finish the following story so that Adam and Amy ask for help the respectful way.
Adam and Amy are walking together on the playground. They both agree that they must do well on the spelling test that Mr. Wise is giving right after recess. Adam asks Amy how to spell the word bottle. Amy shrugs her shoulders and says, “I’m clueless.” Adam and Amy decide to ask Mr. Wise how to spell the word. He’s a few yards away talking to another student about the rules of four square.
Asking for Help
Story Starter Four
Decide if it is an emergency.
If it is an emergency, interrupt the person.
Say, “Excuse me.”
If it is not an emergency, wait till the person is not busy.
Say the person’s name (if you know it).
Tell the person you need help.
“I wonder if you could help me.”
“I need some help.”
Describe the problem.
Directions: Please finish the following story so that Wendy asks for help the respectful way.
Wendy was happy when Mrs. Jones, her teacher, opened the window to let a cool breeze blow across the hot classroom. Wendy suddenly feels something crawling on her arm. She remains still as a bee dances up her arm and then flies off. Wendy looks at the open window and sees several more bees fly into the room. She then looks at Mrs. Jones who is grading papers at her desk.
Complimenting
Story Starter One
Make eye contact.
Smile.
Use an excited voioce.
Say the person’s name.
Tell the person what you like.
The person who is complimented should say, “Thank you.”
Directions: Please finish the following story so that Mike is people smart by giving a compliment.
Mike loves basketball. In fact, he lives to play basketball. Today Mike is playing basketball with his friends Amy and Carlos. Carlos passes the ball to Amy who launches a three point shot that falls through the middle of the basket. Amy is jumping for joy. Mike decides to give her a compliment.
Complimenting
Story Starter Two
Make eye contact.
Smile.
Use an excited voice.
Say the person’s name.
Tell the person what you like.
The person who is complimented should say, “Thank you.”
Directions: Please finish the following story so that Brenda is people smart by giving a compliment.
Brenda is a little sad when Mrs. Jones returns the spelling tests. Brenda only spelled twelve of twenty words correctly. Brenda looks up to find smiles on the faces of her friends Andy and Samantha. They both spelled all the words correctly. Brenda decides to reward her friends with a compliment.
Complimenting
Story Starter Three
Make eye contact.
Smile.
Use an excited voice.
Say the person’s name.
Tell the person what you like.
The person who is complimented should say, “Thank you.”
Directions: Please finish the following story so that Juan is people smart by giving a compliment.
Juan watches his friends Stacy and Rick fly kites on a brisk, windy spring afternoon. The kites continue to grow smaller as they fly higher in the bright blue sky. Juan can’t believe how well his friends fly their kites. He decides to compliment both of them.
Complimenting
Story Starter Four
Make eye contact.
Smile.
Use an excited voice.
Say the person’s name.
Tell the person what you like.
The person who is complimented should say, “Thank you.”
Directions: Please finish the following story so that Kathy is people smart by giving a compliment.
Kathy thinks her mom makes the best chocolate chip cookies on planet earth. Right now Kathy can smell the wonderful fragrance of sweet cookies baking in the oven. Yummy. Kathy decides to compliment her mom’s talents as a cook.
Expressing Anger Appropriately
Story Starter One
Relax by breathing slowly.
Be serious.
Make eye contact.
Use a firm voice.
Have a serious face.
Tell the person you are angy.
“I’m angry because ….. .“
Tell the person what made you angry.
Don’t hurt.
Don’t hit, name call or threaten.
Directions: Please finish the following story so that Rick is people smart and expresses anger the respectful way.
Rick’s face is red, his fist is clenched into a ball and he’s breathing rapidly. Rick is so mad he could scream and be heard in China. What made Rick mad? Well his best friends, Kathy and Eduardo, borrowed his new bike and returned it covered in mud. Rick is shaking with anger when he walks up to Kathy and Eduardo.
Expressing Anger Appropriately
Story Starter Two
Relax by breathing slowly.
Be serious.
Make eye contact.
Use a firm voice.
Have a serious face.
Tell the person you are angy.
“I’m angry because ….. .“
Tell the person what made you angry.
Don’t hurt.
Don’t hit, name call or threaten.
Directions: Please finish the following story so that Tina is people smart and expresses anger the respectful way.
Tina’s friends told her that Jennifer and Adam have been calling her “dumbo.” Tina did not believe it until she heard Adam and Jennifer calling her names during morning recess. Later that day Tina is filled with rage as she sees Jennifer and Adam sitting together in the lunch room.
Expressing Anger Appropriately
Story Starter Three
Relax by breathing slowly.
Be serious.
Make eye contact.
Use a firm voice.
Have a serious face.
Tell the person you are angy.
“I’m angry because ….. .“
Tell the person what made you angry.
Don’t hurt.
Don’t hit, name call or threaten.
Directions: Please finish the following story so that Jake is people smart and expresses anger the respectful way.
Jake has been home from school for three days with the flu. Jake’s brother and sister, Emily and Adam, promised to bring him homework right after school. However, after school Emily and Adam played with friends. When they arrived home at 5:30 P.M. they told Jake that they forgot about the homework. Jake is so mad he could explode.
Expressing Anger Appropriately
Story Starter Four
Relax by breathing slowly.
Be serious.
Make eye contact.
Use a firm voice.
Have a serious face.
Tell the person you are angy.
“I’m angry because ….. .“
Tell the person what made you angry.
Don’t hurt.
Don’t hit, name call or threaten.
Directions: Please finish the following story so that Marie is people smart and expresses anger the respectful way.
Marie was very sad when she heard Bill and Wendy say she couldn’t go to Wendy’s birthday party because she’d eat all the birthday cake. Now she’s not just sad, she’s very mad. Marie decides to talk to Bill and Wendy about the mean things they’ve said.
Expressing Gratitude
Story Starter One
Make eye contact.
Friendly voice.
Say the person’s name.
Say, “Thank-you.”
Tell the person what you are thanking them for.
Directions: Please finish the following story so that Mike expresses gratitude.
Mike couldn’t believe how nice it was that James let him use his basketball. In fact, James was always sharing. Yesterday he let Mike use his bike and last week James took the time to show Mike how to solve multiplication problems. Mike decides to express gratitude to James.
Expressing Gratitude
Story Starter Two
Make eye contact.
Friendly voice.
Say the person’s name.
Say, “Thank-you.”
Tell the person what you are thanking them for.
Directions: Please finish the following story so that Kathy expresses gratitude.
Mr. Wise was Kathy’s favorite teacher. He was just so helpful! Mr. Wise was always willing to spend extra time helping Kathy with things she didn’t understand. Just yesterday he said she could have extra time to turn in homework that she was late getting in. But best of all, if the class did a good job, Mr. Wise let everyone have extra recess. Kathy decides to express gratitude to her teacher.
Expressing Gratitude
Story Starter Three
Make eye contact.
Friendly voice.
Say the person’s name.
Say, “Thank-you.”
Tell the person what you are thanking them for.
Directions: Please finish the following story so that Sam expresses gratitude.
Sam loves his dog Rowdy. But two days ago Sam had a big scare. Rowdy dug under the fence, got out of the yard and was hit by a car. Sam’s dad raced Rowdy to Dr. Gallegos, a veterinarian. Dr. Gallegos worked for a long time on Rowdy. Today Sam is going with his dad to pick up Rowdy from the vet. Sam hopes to express gratitude to Dr. Gallegos for saving Rowdy.
Expressing Gratitude
Story Starter Four
Make eye contact.
Friendly voice.
Say the person’s name.
Say, “Thank-you.”
Tell the person what you are thanking them for.
Directions: Please finish the following story so that Anne expresses gratitude.
Anne is so happy! Every year her grandmother remembers Anne’s birthday with a special party. Anne is ten years old and on her way to the party. Anne decides to express gratitude to her grandmother for always remembering her birthday in such a special way.
Expressing Sympathy
Story Starter One
Make eye contact.
Have a serious voice and face.
Say how you feel.
“I feel sad that …..”
“I feel awful that …..”
Tell the person what you feel sad about.
Ask if you can help.
Directions: Please finish the following story so that Daniel expresses sympathy.
Daniel wishes he could help his friend Maria. He just heard that her grandmother died. Daniel knows that Maria loved her grandmother and often spent time with her. Daniel sees Maria sitting at a table in the lunch room. He decides it’s time to express sympathy.
Expressing Sympathy
Story Starter Two
Make eye contact.
Have a serious voice and face.
Say how you feel.
“I feel sad that …..”
“I feel awful that …..”
Tell the person what you feel sad about.
Ask if you can help.
Directions: Please finish the following story so that Rosa expresses sympathy.
Mr. Wise often talked about his pet cat, Misty. He even had pictures of Misty on his desk at school. Yesterday Misty ran away and has not been seen since. Rosa knows how awful Mr. Wise must feel. She decides to express sympathy to Mr. Wise who is at his desk grading papers.
Expressing Sympathy
Story Starter Three
Make eye contact.
Have a serious voice and face.
Say how you feel.
“I feel sad that …..”
“I feel awful that …..”
Tell the person what you feel sad about.
Ask if you can help.
Directions: Please finish the following story so that Pablo expresses sympathy.
Everyone at school knew about it. It was so sad. Yesterday as Maria rode home on her new bike, she lost control and fell. After falling, the bike rolled into the street and was crushed by a huge truck. Today Pablo sees Maria walking to school all alone. She looks sad. Pablo decides to express sympathy to Maria.
Expressing Sympathy
Story Starter Four
Make eye contact.
Have a serious voice and face.
Say how you feel.
“I feel sad that …..”
“I feel awful that …..”
Tell the person what you feel sad about.
Ask if you can help.
Directions: Please finish the following story so that Wendy expresses sympathy.
Wendy understands why Alex is crying. She just heard the bad news. Alex’s dad just got a new job. He’s moving to a new city to work. After they sell their house, Alex and his family will move also. Wendy decides to express sympathy to Alex.
Giving Advice
Story Starter One
Be friendly.
Make eye contact.
Smile.
Use a friendly voice.
Say the person’s name.
Make a statement of interest or concern.
Example: “That looks like a tough job.”
Ask if you can make a suggestion.
Word the suggestion positively.
Tell the person how to do it.
Wish the person success.
Directions: Please finish the following story so that James makes a suggestion the respectful way.
James feels bad that his sister, Emily, often loses toys in her room. James thinks the problem would be solved if Emily kept her room neat. He decides to offer the suggestion that she clean her room at least one a week.
Giving Advice
Story Starter Two
Be friendly.
Make eye contact.
Smile.
Use a friendly voice.
Say the person’s name.
Make a statement of interest or concern.
Example: “That looks like a tough job.”
Ask if you can make a suggestion.
Word the suggestion positively.
Tell the person how to do it.
Wish the person success.
Directions: Please finish the following story so that Tina gives advice the respectful way.
Tina is once again listening to Adam complain about a tooth ache. Adam is going to go to the dentist this afternoon. Adam hates the dentist! Tina thinks that Adam could stay away from the dentist if he brushed his teeth twice a day and did not drink soda pop. Tina decides to give this advice to Adam.
Giving Advice
Story Starter Three
Be friendly.
Make eye contact.
Smile.
Use a friendly voice.
Say the person’s name.
Make a statement of interest or concern.
Example: “That looks like a tough job.”
Ask if you can make a suggestion.
Word the suggestion positively.
Tell the person how to do it.
Wish the person success.
Directions: Please finish the following story so that Sam gives advice the respectful way.
Sam is afraid his friend Brian is going to explode. Brian is mad again about having to re-do an assignment for Mr. Wise. Brian spelled about ten words wrong on a book report and Mr. Wise does not like spelling mistakes. Sam decides to offer the advice that Sam check his papers for spelling mistakes before turning them in.
Giving Advice
Story Starter Four
Be friendly.
Make eye contact.
Smile.
Use a friendly voice.
Say the person’s name.
Make a statement of interest or concern.
Example: “That looks like a tough job.”
Ask if you can make a suggestion.
Word the suggestion positively.
Tell the person how to do it.
Wish the person success.
Directions: Please finish the following story so that Angela gives advice the respectful way.
Angela knows why her friend Samantha never wins a foot race. Angela thinks Samantha starts running too fast at the beginning of the race and gets tired at the end. Angela really wants to help Samantha who is very sad about never winning. Angela decides to offer advice to her friend.
Greeting an Acquaintance
Story Starter One
Look Friendly
Make eye contact
Smile
Use a happy voice
Say, “Hi.”
Say the person’s name
Ask a question or make a comment that makes sense
Directions: Please finish the following story so that Michael greets his teacher and starts a conversation.
Michael is excited to go to McDonalds with his family. He can’t wait to get a happy meal. While Michael walks to the counter to place his order, he sees his teacher, Mrs. Jones. Michael decides to greet his teacher and start a conversation.
Greeting an Acquaintance
Story Starter Two
Look Friendly
Make eye contact
Smile
Use a happy voice
Say, “Hi.”
Say the person’s name
Ask a question or make a comment that makes sense
Directions: Please finish the following story so that Kate greets her classmate and starts a conversation.
Kate is so happy. She’s with her family at one of her favorite places, the zoo. As Kate enters the huge building to see the giraffes she notices a classmate, Daniel, studying one of the giant animals. Kate decides to greet Daniel and start a conversation.
Greeting an Acquaintance
Story Starter Three
Look Friendly
Make eye contact
Smile
Use a happy voice
Say, “Hi.”
Say the person’s name
Ask a question or make a comment that makes sense
Directions: Please finish the following story so that Sam greets his neighbors and starts a conversation.
Sam is walking home from school on a cold, dark afternoon. Ten inches of snow that fell during the school day covers the sidewalks. Ahead Sam sees his neighbors, Mr. and Mrs. Jones, shoveling the snow from their driveway. Sam decides to greet Mr. and Mrs. Jones and start a conversation.
Greeting an Acquaintance
Story Starter Four
Look Friendly
Make eye contact
Smile
Use a happy voice
Say, “Hi.”
Say the person’s name
Ask a question or make a comment that makes sense
Directions: Please finish the following story so that Abby greets her classmates and starts a conversation.
As Abby enters the door of the pet store she immediately hears the happy barking of dogs. She heads to the back of the store to look for dog food for her puppy, Karl. As she looks up she sees two classmates, Jake and Amy. They are inspecting the snakes. Abby decides to greet her classmates and start a conversation.
Joining a Conversation
Story Starter One
Walk up close.
Listen.
Wait for a pause.
Greet.
Ask a question or make a comment that makes sense.
Directions: Please finish the following story so that Adam joins a conversation the respectful way.
Adam jumps out of the back seat of the car and waves good-bye to his mom. As he walks toward the school building Adam sees his two favorite teachers, Mr. Wise and Mrs. Jones, talking about favorite things to eat. Adam wants to say hello and join the conversation.
Joining a Conversation
Story Starter Two
Walk up close.
Listen.
Wait for a pause.
Greet.
Ask a question or make a comment that makes sense.
Directions: Please finish the following story so that Lisa joins a conversation the respectful way.
Lisa sees two classmates talking on the playground. Lisa doesn’t know what they’re talking about but it looks like they’re having fun. She wants to join the conversation.
Joining a Conversation
Story Starter Three
Walk up close.
Listen.
Wait for a pause.
Greet.
Ask a question or make a comment that makes sense.
Directions: Please finish the following story so that Juan joins a conversation the respectful way.
While walking his dog, Pepper, Juan sees Mr. and Mrs. Jones standing in front of their house. With Mr. and Mrs. Jones is their pet poodle, Alex. Juan notices that Mr. and Mrs. Jones are having a conversation. He wants to join them.
Joining a Conversation
Story Starter Four
Walk up close.
Listen.
Wait for a pause.
Greet.
Ask a question or make a comment that makes sense.
Directions: Please finish the following story so that Amy joins a conversation the respectful way.
Amy walks into the lunchroom with her tray full of chicken nuggets. She looks around and sees two friends, Sam and Anne, talking as they finish their lunch. It looks like they’re having. Amy wants to join the conversation.
Joining a Game
Story Starter One
Walk up close.
Wait for a pause.
Greet.
Give a compliment.
Ask politely to play.
Directions: Please finish the following story so that Jon joins a game the respectful way.
Jon dashes out the doors of Whittier Elementary and onto the playground. He sees his friends playing tag. Jon decides that this looks like great fun. He wants to join his friends in the game.
Joining a Game
Story Starter Two
Walk up close.
Wait for a pause.
Greet.
Give a compliment.
Ask politely to play.
Directions: Please finish the following story so that Kathy joins a game the respectful way.
Kathy opens her front door and enjoys the cool breeze blowing across the porch. She notices that two of her friends are playing jump rope across the street. Kathy wants to have fun and join the game.
Joining a Game
Story Starter Three
Walk up close.
Wait for a pause.
Greet.
Give a compliment.
Ask politely to play.
Directions: Please finish the following story so that Alex joins a game the respectful way.
On the way to school Alex notices that two of his friends are playing basketball on the playground. Alex loves basketball and wants to join the game.
Joining a Game
Story Starter Four
Walk up close.
Wait for a pause.
Greet.
Give a compliment.
Ask politely to play.
Directions: Please finish the following story so that Maria joins a game the respectful way.
Maria is having a great time at Amy’s birthday party. Maria sees Amy and another friend, Alex, playing a video game. This looks like fun and Maria wants to join the game.
Making a Complaint
Story Starter One
Relax if you are upset.
Decide who to complain to.
Talk to the person who caused the problem.
Talk to someone who can help.
Use a pleasant voice.
Say the person’s name (if known).
Politely state the problem.
“I have a problem. I wonder if you could help me …..?”
Thank the person for listening.
Directions: Please finish the following story so that Jake makes a complaint the respectful way.
Jake is so upset! He spent his allowance on a kite. When he put the kite together, he found a hole in the kite. This kite would not fly. Jake decides to go back to the store to make a complaint to the clerk.
Making a Complaint
Story Starter Two
Relax if you are upset.
Decide who to complain to.
Talk to the person who caused the problem.
Talk to someone who can help.
Use a pleasant voice.
Say the person’s name (if known).
Politely state the problem.
“I have a problem. I wonder if you could help me …..?”
Thank the person for listening.
Directions: Please finish the following story so that Angelica makes a complaint the respectful way.
Angelica thanked the clerk as she took her two candy bars and change. After leaving the store, Angelica counted her change before putting it in her pocket. Wow, the clerk had only given her
a dime instead of fifteen cents. Angelica decided she should make a complaint.
Making a Complaint
Story Starter Three
Relax if you are upset.
Decide who to complain to.
Talk to the person who caused the problem.
Talk to someone who can help.
Use a pleasant voice.
Say the person’s name (if known).
Politely state the problem.
“I have a problem. I wonder if you could help me …..?”
Thank the person for listening.
Directions: Please finish the following story so that Roberto makes a complaint the respectful way.
Roberto knew he must get a good grade on the spelling test tomorrow. While studying in his bedroom he became distracted by loud music coming from his sister’s room. Even closing the door didn’t help. Roberto decided to complain to his sister.
Making a Complaint
Story Starter Four
Relax if you are upset.
Decide who to complain to.
Talk to the person who caused the problem.
Talk to someone who can help.
Use a pleasant voice.
Say the person’s name (if known).
Politely state the problem.
“I have a problem. I wonder if you could help me …..?”
Thank the person for listening.
Directions: Please finish the following story so that Samantha makes a complaint the respectful way.
Samantha loves to play with her friends, Daniel and Amy. She was so excited when they said they’d be at her house at 4:15 to play. It’s now 4:30 and Samantha continues to wait. She is getting upset as she thinks about the many times her friends have been late. Suddenly the door bell rings.
Making a Friend
Story Starter One
Look Friendly
Make eye contact
Smile
Use a happy voice
Say, “Hi.”
Say your name
Ask the person’s name
Ask Questions
Invite to play
Directions: Please finish the following story so that Amy is able to make a new friend.
Amy is visiting her uncle’s house with her family. All the adults are in the living room talking about boring things like work and gardening. Amy looks out the window and sees a boy in front of the house next door. The boy is holding a playground ball. Amy would like to make a new friend and play something fun.
Making a Friend
Story Starter Two
Look Friendly
Make eye contact
Smile
Use a happy voice
Say, “Hi.”
Say your name
Ask the person’s name
Ask Questions
Invite to play
Directions: Please finish the following story so that Andy is able to make a new friend.
Andy sure was happy when his friend Bill invited him to his birthday party. Uh oh! Andy only knows one person at the party. Now Andy feels lonely. Andy sees a boy and girl, James and Anne, eating cake at one of the tables. Andy decides to make some new friends.
Making a Friend
Story Starter Three
Look Friendly
Make eye contact
Smile
Use a happy voice
Say, “Hi.”
Say your name
Ask the person’s name
Ask Questions
Invite to play
Directions: Please finish the following story so that Jon is able to make a new friend.
Jon ran as fast as he could to the park. He expected to find his friends playing on the slide. However, he could find none of his friends at the park. Jon did see a boy and girl, Adam and Jenny, taking turns on the slide. Jon decided to make some new friends.
Making a Friend
Story Starter Four
Look Friendly
Make eye contact
Smile
Use a happy voice
Say, “Hi.”
Say your name
Ask the person’s name
Ask Questions
Invite to play
Directions: Please finish the following story so that Lisa is able to make new friends.
Lisa walked into the lunch room carrying a tray full of pizza and cookies. She looked about the lunch room but could find none of her friends. At a table nearby sat a boy and girl, Amy and Carlos. Lisa did not know Amy and Carlos but decided to make some new friends.
Polite Words
Story Starter One
Please
Thank you
You’re welcome
Excuse me or pardon me
Directions: Please finish the following story so that Jake is respectful by using polite words.
Jake accidentally drops his lunch tray. Chicken nuggets, apple sauce, carrot sticks and a large piece of cake fall on the lunchroom floor. Jake needs help. He’s sees the custodian, Mr. Ericson, talking to a teacher, Mrs. Jones. Jake decides to use polite words to ask for help.
Polite Words
Story Starter Two
Please
Thank you
You’re welcome
Excuse me or pardon me
Directions: Please finish the following story so that Lisa is respectful by using polite words.
Lisa won a play ground ball at the county fair. She wants to give the ball to her friend, Alex. Lisa walks to Alex’s house but finds him busy raking leaves. Lisa decides to use polite words while giving the ball to her friend.
Polite Words
Story Starter Three
Please
Thank you
You’re welcome
Excuse me or pardon me
Directions: Please finish the following story so that Andy is respectful by using polite words.
Andy is on a hike with his friends Anne and Sam. The three have been walking for two hours. Andy is getting tired and the pack on his back feels very heavy. Andy decides to ask his friends if they can carry some of the bottles of water that are in his pack.
Polite Words
Story Starter Four
Please
Thank you
You’re welcome
Excuse me or pardon me
Directions: Please finish the following story so that Amy is respectful by using polite words.
Amy just loves the hamburger she is eating at Bonus Burger. Yummy! Amy takes a huge drink of root beer. Wow, the glass is now empty. Amy decides to use polite words to ask the waitress for another drink.
Relaxing When Upset
Story Starter One
Close your eyes.
Slowly take a deep breath.
Hold for one second.
Slowly and steadily release the air.
Repeat until calm.
Directions: Please finish the following story so that Adam is people smart and relaxes when he is upset.
Now Adam wished he didn’t volunteer to recite a poem at the school talent show. Adam’s legs are weak and his hands shake as he climbs the final steps onto the stage. He sees hundreds of students peering at him. Adam feels like running off the stage. He decides he must relax and calm down.
Relaxing When Upset
Story Starter Two
Close your eyes.
Slowly take a deep breath.
Hold for one second.
Slowly and steadily release the air.
Repeat until calm.
Directions: Please finish the following story so that Samantha is people smart and relaxes when she is upset.
Samantha woke up mad and is still furious. Yesterday she waited for two hours at the park for her friends Darren and Maria. They never showed up. Her day was ruined. Samantha now sees Darren and Maria walking down the hall at school. She feels like a volcano ready to explode. Samantha knows she’d better calm down.
Relaxing When Upset
Story Starter Three
Close your eyes.
Slowly take a deep breath.
Hold for one second.
Slowly and steadily release the air.
Repeat until calm.
Directions: Please finish the following story so that Cody is people smart and relaxes when he is upset.
Cody always wanted to play in the championship basketball game. Now his wish is granted. The score is tied 99 to 99 and there is no time left on the clock. He stands at the free throw line ready to make the most important shot he’s ever taken. His hands and legs begin to shake as the referee hands him the ball. Cody knows he must do something to calm down.
Relaxing When Upset
Story Starter Four
Close your eyes.
Slowly take a deep breath.
Hold for one second.
Slowly and steadily release the air.
Repeat until calm.
Directions: Please finish the following story so that Tina is people smart and relaxes when she is upset.
Tina’s face is red and her hands are shaking. She is so mad she just wants to scream. Tina sees her little brother and sister drawing pictures in her new art book she received for her birthday. And they never even asked to use it! Tina feels like pushing her brother and sister but knows she must calm down or get into big trouble.
Responding to a Reprimand
Story Starter One
Relax.
Make eye contact.
Use a serious voice.
Listen.
Nod your head.
Follow directions.
With a polite voice say what you will do right the next time.
Directions: Please finish the following story so that Juan and Marie respond to a reprimand in a respectful way.
Juan and Marie excitedly scream and run as they leave the school building for recess. They are happy to find six inches of fresh snow covering the ground. Both playfully kick snow at each other. The fun stops when Mr. Wise, now upset, tells them to stop kicking snow or lose their next recess.
Responding to a Reprimand
Story Starter Two
Relax.
Make eye contact.
Use a serious voice.
Listen.
Nod your head.
Follow directions.
With a polite voice say what you will do right the next time.
Directions: Please finish the following story so that Alex and Jenny respond to a reprimand in a respectful way.
Alex thinks it’s great fun to sit next to a friend like Jenny. Now Alex is getting bored with his math assignment. He decides to start talking to Jenny. In a minute Mrs. Jones is wagging her finger and talking to Jenny and Alex about working quietly.
Responding to a Reprimand
Story Starter Three
Relax.
Make eye contact.
Use a serious voice.
Listen.
Nod your head.
Follow directions.
With a polite voice say what you will do right the next time.
Directions: Please finish the following story so that Fred responds to a reprimand in a respectful way.
Fred thought it was funny to poke Alicia in the back as Mr. Wise’s class walked to the library. Uh oh, Mr. Wise didn’t think this was funny. He told the line to stop, walked to Fred and told him to keep his hands to himself. Mr. Wise even told Fred to go to the end of the line.
Responding to a Reprimand
Story Starter Four
Relax.
Make eye contact.
Use a serious voice.
Listen.
Nod your head.
Follow directions.
With a polite voice say what you will do right the next time.
Directions: Please finish the following story so that Abby responds to a reprimand in a respectful way.
Abby is as hungry as a bear as she takes a tray full of hot dogs, chips and carrots. She quickly squeezes some mustard on her hot dog and tosses the mustard container to her friend Jake. Jake is unable to catch the bottle which hits the floor and rolls to the middle of the lunch room. Mr. Wise walks over and tells the students to “stop this nonsense and quietly take a seat.”
Responding to Teasing
Story Starter One
Relax.
Ignore.
Look away.
Say nothing.
Do something that keeps you busy.
Walk away if you can.
Ask an adult for help if teasing continues.
Directions: Please finish the following story so that Jose
ignores hurtful teasing.
At first Jose thought Cassandra and Tom were talking to someone else on the playground. Then he realized they were talking to him. The words hurt. His classmates called him “fatso” and “ugly.” Jose feels himself getting very angry.
Responding to Teasing
Story Starter Two
Relax.
Ignore.
Look away.
Say nothing.
Do something that keeps you busy.
Walk away if you can.
Ask an adult for help if teasing continues.
Directions: Please finish the following story so that Wendy
ignores hurtful teasing.
Wendy was used to getting good grades. She was surprised when Mrs. Jones handed back her spelling test. Half the words were spelled wrong. To make it all worse, Wendy looked up to find her friends, Sam and Amy, pointing at her paper and laughing. Sam burst out, “Can’t ya spell, Wendy.”
Responding to Teasing
Story Starter Three
Relax.
Ignore.
Look away.
Say nothing.
Do something that keeps you busy.
Walk away if you can.
Ask an adult for help if teasing continues.
Directions: Please finish the following story so that Michael
ignores hurtful teasing.
Michael was excited that his teacher, Mrs. Jones, decided to reward the class with a party. She suggested that each student bring a game from home. Michael carried a game of checkers under his arm as he entered the classroom. He was shocked when his friends, Marie and Jose, ran up to him and said checkers is for babies. Michael feels like screaming at his friends.
Responding to Teasing
Story Starter Four
Relax.
Ignore.
Look away.
Say nothing.
Do something that keeps you busy.
Walk away if you can.
Ask an adult for help if teasing continues.
Directions: Please finish the following story so that Mary and Ken
ignore hurtful teasing.
Mary and Ken knew they wouldn’t win the race but didn’t think they’d finish last. “Oh well, we’ll run faster next time,” they said. It was then that Angela ran up to Mary and Ken and started teasing by calling them “slow pokes” and “turtles.” Mary and Ken felt like calling names back after Angela yelled, “You’re as slow as a worm.”
Saying “No” to Trouble
Story Starter One
Ask Questions
Be Serious
Make Eye Contact
Use a Firm Voice
Say Your Friend’s Name
Say, “No.”
Explain Why
Invite your friend to do something else.
Politely leave if your friend will not join you.
****************************************************
Directions: Please finish the following story so that Jed does not get into trouble.
Jed is playing with Kathy. Kathy suggests that he climb on top of the roof of his house and jump into the swimming pool.
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___________________________________________________
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___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
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___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
Saying “No” to Trouble
Story Starter Two
Ask Questions
Be Serious
Make Eye Contact
Use a Firm Voice
Say Your Friend’s Name
Say, “No.”
Explain Why
Invite your friend to do something else.
Politely leave if your friend will not join you.
*******************************************
Directions: Please finish the following story so that Lisa does not get into trouble. What should Lisa say and do?
Lisa can’t believe what Sam is asking her to do. Sam is begging Lisa to let the neighbor’s pit bull dog out of the yard.
___________________________________________
___________________________________________
___________________________________________
___________________________________________
___________________________________________
___________________________________________
___________________________________________
___________________________________________
___________________________________________
___________________________________________
Saying “No” to Trouble
Story Starter Three
Ask Questions
Be Serious
Make Eye Contact
Use a Firm Voice
Say Your Friend’s Name
Say, “No.”
Explain Why
Invite your friend to do something else.
Politely leave if your friend will not join you.
****************************************************
Directions: Please finish the following story so that Adam does not get into trouble. What should Adam say and do?
Adam is standing on the playground when his friend Amy walks up. She is grinning. Amy asks Adam to run to the four square courts, take the ball classmates are playing with, and kick it over the fence.
___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
Saying “No” to Trouble
Story Starter Four
Ask Questions
Be Serious
Make Eye Contact
Use a Firm Voice
Say Your Friend’s Name
Say, “No.”
Explain Why
Invite your friend to do something else.
Politely leave if your friend will not join you.
****************************************
Directions: Please finish the following story so that Ruben does not get into trouble. What should Ruben say and do?
Ruben is walking home from school with his friend Anthony. Anthony smiles and says he has a great idea. Then Anthony asks Ruben to run ahead to Wendy, take her back pack and throw it in the street in front of the cars.
___________________________________________
When a Friend is Teased
Story Starter One
Relax.
Ignore the teaser.
Use a calm voice.
Make eye contact.
Say your friend’s name.
Invite your friend to leave by playing a game.
Leave if your friend won’t play.
Directions: Please finish the following story so that Andy helps a friend who is being teased.
One morning Andy was running down the street toward school. He saw Wendy being teased by two boys who were calling her “stupid” and “fat.” This made Andy angry. He decided to help Wendy who was crying and calling names back.
When a Friend is Teased
Story Starter Two
Relax.
Ignore the teaser.
Use a calm voice.
Make eye contact.
Say your friend’s name.
Invite your friend to leave by playing a game.
Leave if your friend won’t play.
Directions: Please finish the following story so that Angela helps a friend who is being teased.
As Angela raced out the doors to recess, she saw a crowd of students near the four square courts. Uh oh! The loud voices of Todd Jones and Adam Johnson could be heard. They were calling Amy Adams, Angela’s best friend, names and saying Amy couldn’t play on the four square courts. Angela decided to help Amy.
When a Friend is Teased
Story Starter Three
Relax.
Ignore the teaser.
Use a calm voice.
Make eye contact.
Say your friend’s name.
Invite your friend to leave by playing a game.
Leave if your friend won’t play.
Directions: Please finish the following story so that Roberto helps a classmate who is being teased.
Roberto couldn’t believe his eyes or ears. Down the street he saw his classmate, Wendy Gomez, being teased by a couple of older boys. This looked nasty. The boys were calling her all kinds of names. It looked like Wendy was about to go after the boys when Roberto decided to help Wendy.
When a Friend is Teased
Story Starter Four
Relax.
Ignore the teaser.
Use a calm voice.
Make eye contact.
Say your friend’s name.
Invite your friend to leave by playing a game.
Leave if your friend won’t play.
Directions: Please finish the following story so that Carmen helps a classmate who is being teased.
Carmen was so happy that Mr. Wise gave the class extra recess. Of course he warned the class that if they did not behave, this privilege would be taken away. Suddenly, Carmen heard Dan Roberts angrily yelling at Julie Jones to stop it. Uh oh, Julie was teasing classmates again. Dan looked like he was going to blow up in anger. Carmen decided to help before Mr. Wise got upset.
When Someone Breaks the Rules of a Game
Story Starter One
Relax if you are upset.
Use a pleasant voice.
Call time-out.
Say the person’s name.
Politely describe the rule.
“The rule is ……….”
If the person argues or continues to break the rule, politely
leave the game.
Directions: Please finish the following story so that Adam respectfully solves his problem.
Adam is getting upset. Every time Becky takes her turn in checkers she moves more than one space. Adam knows he will never have fun in this game.
When Someone Breaks the Rules of a Game
Story Starter Two
Relax if you are upset.
Use a pleasant voice.
Call time-out.
Say the person’s name.
Politely describe the rule.
“The rule is ……….”
If the person argues or continues to break the rule, politely
leave the game.
Directions: Please finish the following story so that Hope respectfully solves her problem.
Hope was glad it was raining outside. Now she could play monopoly with her friends Bill and Maria. The problem was, Bill wasn’t following the rules. He often threw the die more than once when it was his turn. Both Hope and Maria were getting upset.
When Someone Breaks the Rules of a Game
Story Starter Three
Relax if you are upset.
Use a pleasant voice.
Call time-out.
Say the person’s name.
Politely describe the rule.
“The rule is ……….”
If the person argues or continues to break the rule, politely
leave the game.
Directions: Please finish the following story so that Ruben solves his problem respectfully.
Ruben was very fast and very good at tag. He played the game every time he could. Today Ruben is playing tag with his friends Samantha and Ben. The game is not much fun because Samantha often says she didn’t get tagged when she did. She just doesn’t like to be it.
When Someone Breaks the Rules of a Game
Story Starter Four
Relax if you are upset.
Use a pleasant voice.
Call time-out.
Say the person’s name.
Politely describe the rule.
“The rule is ……….”
If the person argues or continues to break the rule, politely
leave the game.
Directions: Please finish the following story so that Anne solves her problem respectfully.
Anne and her friends Tom and Wendy decide to play jump rope. Uh oh, there are only two jump ropes for three people. They decide to make a rule that players share the jump ropes after twenty jumps. All is going well until Tom won’t give up his rope.
When Someone Says You Can’t Play
Story Starter One
Relax
With a friendly voice say, “Okay.”
Politely ask when you can play, or ask to take turns
“When can I play?”
“Can I play in the next game?”
“Can I play when you’re done?”
If your friends still say no, find someone else to play with.
Directions: Please finish the following story so that David solves his problem respectfully.
David raced onto the playground. He quickly saw Angie and Tom playing tag. David greeted his friends, complimented them and then asked to join the game. He was shocked when he heard them both say “No!”
When Someone Says You Can’t Play
Story Starter Two
Relax
With a friendly voice say, “Okay.”
Politely ask when you can play, or ask to take turns
“When can I play?”
“Can I play in the next game?”
“Can I play when you’re done?”
If your friends still say no, find someone else to play with.
Directions: Please finish the following story so that Amy solves her problem respectfully.
Amy couldn’t believe her ears. When she asked Tony and Daniel if she could join them playing a video game, they both said, “No.” Amy feels pretty upset and sad.
When Someone Says You Can’t Play
Story Starter Three
Relax
With a friendly voice say, “Okay.”
Politely ask when you can play, or ask to take turns
“When can I play?”
“Can I play in the next game?”
“Can I play when you’re done?”
If your friends still say no, find someone else to play with.
Directions: Please finish the following story so that Juan solves his problem respectfully.
Juan looked forward to playing basketball all morning. Juan quickly finished his lunch and ran to the playground to find several classmates in a basketball game. He waited till a basket was scored, greeted his classmates, told them they were terrific players and asked to join. Wow, they all said, “No.”
When Someone Says You Can’t Play
Story Starter Four
Relax
With a friendly voice say, “Okay.”
Politely ask when you can play, or ask to take turns
“When can I play?”
“Can I play in the next game?”
“Can I play when you’re done?”
If your friends still say no, find someone else to play with.
Directions: Please finish the following story so that Anne solves her problem respectfully.
Anne was excited when her friends, Miguel and Susan, asked her to join them in a game of soccer at the park after school. Anne loved soccer and could hardly wait. After school Anne ran at top speed up the street to the park. The game of soccer had already begun. Anne waited till a player threw the ball in from the sideline. She then greeted her friends and told them the game looked like fun. However, when she asked to join, they all said, “No.”
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