Top 10 List for Dealing with Your Parents’ Personal Property



Top 10 Tips for Dealing with Your Parents’ Personal Property

By Julie Hall, The Estate Lady®

As an estate expert who specializes in the dissolution and distribution of personal property, I have spent my life helping families deal with a loved one's "lifetime accumulation of stuff.”  The following are 10 tips I'd like to share for you to be proactive and take action now to help de-clutter your own home or a parent’s home.  

1) Have that important conversation with your parents and/or children.  With such a challenging topic, always approach with compassion and care, and talk with them about their final wishes.  Ask and gain an understanding about their financial situation.  Be sure to know where all the important and legal documents are.  It is equally wise to start talking with your children so they will not be left to guess your wishes.

2) Start to de-clutter your home and your parent’s home.  They won’t like this, but we can say that we’re helping them “thin out” the stuff.  The clutter can be both a fire danger and tripping hazard. Remove food that is expired.  Also go through linens and kitchenware that are no longer used.  Remove the multitude of Cool Whip containers, peanut butter jars, pie tins, etc., that are no longer used.  Believe me, it's much easier to do now rather than later when you may be in a crisis mode.

3) Discuss and document allocation of personal property and heirlooms.  Create a wish list and have an appraiser assess value of the special items.  The goal is to keep the tally equitable and fair among siblings/heirs.  Better yet, suggest “gifting” of special items while still alive to minimize fighting among heirs later.  

4) Tell Mom or Dad you are helping them “thin out” the house, and every time you leave the house, take a few bags of donation items with you.  I always say, “Dress the less fortunate.”  If they would like to get involved, have them help you and drop these items off at your charity of choice.

5) If your parent has already moved out of the house or passed away, begin the process of clearing out the house by starting from the attic and working your way down to the basement.  Then, use 4 separate piles (or rooms) to keep things organized:  one for donation, one for "to sell" items, one for keep items, and one for discard.

6) When in doubt, always have a personal property appraiser evaluate antiques and items you’re unsure of. I love to share the true story about finding a $50,000 vase among a laundry basket of items that a family was going to toss.  In my book, I talk about a small painting the family considered so ugly that no one wanted it; yet it was valued at over $100,000.

7) Continue to keep in touch with siblings and keep everyone on the same page. From my experience, this should be a guiding principle in all conversations and all decisions.  It is the only way that the whole family will keep their relationships strong and healthy through it all. No possession, no matter what the sentimental or monetary value, is worth destroying family relationships.

8) Make sure you have passwords, keys, or codes to everything; also know the locations of important documents.

9) Build local trusted resources within the community. You never know when you will need them. This is especially true if you live at a distance from your parents.

10) Always come from a place of love.  In the end, life is much, much more than the things or the stuff we own.  It’s about the wonderful relationships within our families. That is what is priceless and irreplaceable.

©2010 The Estate Lady®, LLC

About the Author:

A nationally known expert to children/families, estate attorneys, financial planners, CPAs, real estate and insurance professionals, geriatric and assisted living managers, Julie Hall has made her mark as a consultant and an advisor on the disposition of personal property and also in predicting personal behavior when valuable property is at stake.

She writes and speaks on behalf of seniors, educating them on why it is important for them to deal with their personal property before they become infirmed or die. Hall also educates their Boomer children, guiding them through the entire process on behalf of their parents. Hall is respected within the antiques and collectibles fields for determining what has value vs. what does not in an estate, alleviating confusion and pressure among those left behind to deal with the personal property distribution.

Since publishing her book, The Boomer Burden, Julie has been resourced across North America as THE leading expert in estate dissolution, the personal property side of estate planning, and more. She has been featured in the Wall Street Journal, LA Times, MSN Money, Bloomberg News, Satellite Radio and many others.

Julie has authored two books: The Boomer Burden: Dealing with Your Parents’ Lifetime Accumulation of Stuff and the companion guide, A Boomer’s Guide to Cleaning Out Your Parent’s Estate in 30 Days or Less. Both are available from all major booksellers, including .

Julie’s can be contacted through her website: and through her blog: .

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