Adult Children of Alcoholics Twelve Step Workbook



Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional FamiliesACA Twelve Step Study Group – Weekly Plan Week OneLet’s open the meeting with the ACA version of the serenity prayer.“God, grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know that one is me.” (BRB p. 424)My name is ____, Adult Child. Welcome to the 20 Week ACA Step study group. This is a fast paced, directed step study designed to get folks through the steps in a “crash course” method. It is expected that you are attending weekly ACA meetings in addition to this Step Study group. If not, it will seriously delay if not prevent your recovery.We meet to share the experiences we had as children growing up in an alcoholic or dysfunctional home. That experience infected us then, and it affects us today. By practicing the 12 steps and by attending meetings regularly, we find freedom from the effects of alcoholism or other family dysfunction. As ACA members, we identify with the Laundry List traits or the Problem and we learn to live in The Solution of re-parenting ourselves, one day at a time.Let’s go around and introduce ourselves by first name.Get volunteers to read:Laundry List (p.iv)The Solution (p. vi)What does recovery look like? (emotional sobriety, p. ix)The Promises (p. vii)Before opening the meeting, read the suggestion from page 3 and the footnote from Page 19 of the ACA workbook. Discuss general rules of the group and commitment to the group. Keep it simple.From page 3: “We suggest that ACA members work the Steps one at a time, avoiding looking ahead and perhaps becoming overwhelmed. In ACA, we learn to slow down, breathe and ask for help.” From Page 19: These groups are not a replacement for regular attendance at ACA meetings. These groups can enhance a person’s ACA program, which requires meeting attendance, sharing about childhood experiences, working the Steps, sponsorship, and seeking a Higher Power. Additionally, these groups should adhere to or attempt to adhere to the principles and traditions of ACA groups. Each participant should agree to practice honesty and courtesy in addition to helping keep the group safe. The principle of anonymity should be honored as well. We avoid gossiping or talking about a person’s story to another person. In ACA, we focus on ourselves and live and let live.Guidelines for this meeting1) Honor ACA/ACoA Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions 2) This is a directed meeting so the group agrees to follow the direction of the meeting space holder3) No gossip, no fixing or advice-giving.4) Commit to attend the group regularly5) We will have contact list, people can add their name and contact info if they chooseTake a moment to discuss group attendance.Our 7th Tradition states that we are self-supporting, declining outside contributions. As stated on page 599 of the BRB, “the standard dollar donation of the 1950’s does not cover the cost of carrying the message today. $2 is more appropriate.” Give as if your life depends on it.SharingTo participate, you will need to do the reading and work in the Yellow Step Book before each meeting. If you have not done the readings and exercises you are welcome to listen but please do not ask to share until you catch up.To do this work in 20 weeks we will deal directly with the exercises and reviewing our answers to the questions posed in each one. Shares need to be on-topic and brief, 1-2 minutes, tonight, 3 minutes in the weeks to come. “On topic” means you are sharing about the exercises assigned for that evening. A timer will be used and you will be gently reminded if you go too long. If you really need to share and have not done the homework or it is something that is off topic, please do so outside the meeting with a fellow or fellows.We ask that when you share your experiences, please keep the focus on yourself and observe the no cross-talk rule. If you have questions, we can discuss them after the meeting. Share the amount of info you’re comfortable with. There is no requirement for sharing, but we ask you to speak in the meeting when you can. ACA recovery involves identifying with the events of our childhood.Let’s begin our work with “The Set Aside Prayer”Dear God,Please help me set aside everything I think I know – about myself, the disease, the BRB and the 12 steps – everything I think I know about the program, the fellowship, all spiritual terms and especially about you God, so I may have an open mind and a new experience. Please help me see the truth. Amen.Meeting Topics: Laundry List & Emotional SobrietySharing. Please give a brief background on yourself in two minutes. When you hear someone you relate to, talk to them after the meeting and see if you can connect. Remember this is a safe place for recovery!Read the Laundry List from the ACA workbook and discuss how many of the items each person identifies with. This exercise creates identity and it focuses the group on the problem to be addressed by the ACA program and the ACA Twelve Steps. Sharing. Give each person 2 minutes to discuss how many of the items on the list they identify with. Have them note the # in their workbook and date it.After everyone has shared, read the Solution, which is also in the front of the workbook. This offers guidance and hope on how to recover from the effects of being raised in an alcoholic or dysfunctional family.Read the definition of Emotional Sobriety (pg. ix, “What Does ACA Recovery Look Like?”) and discuss the hope and solution of ACA. Closing: Read The PromisesAffirmation for weeks 1 and 12-20Higher Power. Help me to be willing to recognize the Loving Parent inside of me. Help me integrate my Inner Child more actively into my daily life so that I remain awake spiritually. Grant me the courage to change the things I can. Grant me the wisdom of my Inner Child. Amen.NOTES FOR THE FACILITATORbring copies of the syllabus, the Other LL and book marks with the Set Aside Prayera contact sheeta basket for the 7th Tradition offeringa timer12 Step Workbookthe scriptflyers for the doorsPossibly review these notes in the meeting if necessaryDefinition of codependence: we constantly look outside ourselves for love, affirmation and attention from people who cannot provide it…Codependence is driven by our childhood fear and distorted thinking known as para-alcholism. We choose dependent people who abandon us and lack clarity in their own lives because it matches our childhood experience (page 6).Definition of para-alcoholism: mannerisms and behaviors we developed by living with an alcoholic or dysfunctional parent (p. ix; see “distorted thinking” and “lack of clarity” above) ................
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