True ColorsWhen a person uses their skills, talents, “Your ...

When a person uses their skills, talents, and natural preferences in positive, resourceful ways they are shining brightly or Showing Their True Colors in positive ways. They have a sense of worth and self-respect, generally feeling satisfied and fulfilled. As the song goes:

"Your True Colors are shining through... Don't be afraid to let them show!"

However, when a person experiences major or long-term stress, feels they have no

control over their circumstances, or perceives they are being threatened, judged, or victimized, they can begin to fade and lose their motivation or sense of self.

When this happens, how does one diffuse stress and regain their energy?

Because there are variations in the ways people react to circumstances, there are some general themes among personality styles. Any one of the styles could possibly become stressed by these situations, they are not restricted to any one dominant color, just more common.

For this reason, although the following suggestions are designed with the specific color styles in mind, they can be applied across the spectrum as well.

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Copyright 2011 Mary Miscisin, all rights reserved.

Because Blues find great pleasure in contributing to others, they can become overextended spending great amounts of time solving others' problems and end up putting their own needs last. In addition, if they spend too much time in a relationship or environment where there is constant change, conflict, or negativity, the stress can get overwhelming.

COMMON BLUE STRESSORS:

Conf lict

Isolation or feeling left out

Rejection

Negativity

Being "used" or taken advantage of

Apathy

Insincerity

Lack of acknowledgment or appreciation Not able to express genuine self, Not able to share Saying "no"

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Copyright 2011 Mary Miscisin, all rights reserved.

STRESS TIPS FOR BLUES

It's easy to think that if others would just change the way they behave it would lessen your stress. However, it is more powerful to focus on what you can directly control--and that is your own behavior. The following are some suggestions:

HONOR "NEGATIVE" EMOTIONS

Some people express themselves in assertive ways that can seem rude or mean. When safe and appropriate, allow others the freedom to debate, even if they get a bit loud and boisterous. Also remember that some people need a period to be sad or grumpy, so hold your cheering up for when they are ready.

RELEASE GRUDGES

Don't fall into the trap of wasting your emotional energy on others you feel have wronged you. Go to your inner source of guidance. Is this really who you are in the world--righteous and unforgiving? How can you reframe the situation to learn something from the experience, really forgive and let it go?

EXPRESS YOURSELF

Find ways to release your creativity, uniqueness and individuality. Do you like to dance, draw or sing? When is the last time you got a chance to indulge in a passion and express your true self?

WATCH YOUR WORDS

Whether aloud or quietly to yourself, do you use over-generalizations in your vocabulary? Using words such as always, never, constantly, no one... deletes the exceptions and forces your brain to focus on the negative, making things seem worse. For example saying I am always overwhelmed does not include the moments when you are not. Saying no one understands me prevents the brain from finding those who might. Be specific: She misunderstood me yesterday.

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Copyright 2011 Mary Miscisin, all rights reserved.

Not surprisingly, Golds seek to maintain a certain equilibrium. Too much or too little responsibility can cause them stress. Sometimes lack of closure on projects or even issues from the past can cause worry or disturb them in the present. So if you are Gold, how do you find reprieve while maintaining your health, sanity, and responsibilities?

COMMON GOLD STRESSORS:

Lack of follow through, when others don't do as promised Self or others not adhering to schedule or plans Change- especially frequent, unplanned, or unanticipated Unclear expectations; lack of rules, instructions, or guidelines Not knowing where they fit, lack of membership or belonging Lack of consistency, leadership, or a master plan Neglect of family time or traditions Missing deadlines, not enough time to complete tasks Rule breakers; rules or policies not being enforced Interruptions

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Copyright 2011 Mary Miscisin, all rights reserved.

STRESS TIPS FOR GOLDS

Not surprisingly, Golds seek to maintain a certain equilibrium. Too much or too little responsibility can cause them stress. Sometimes lack of closure on projects or even issues from the past can cause worry or disturb them in the present. So if you are Gold, how do you find reprieve while maintaining your health, sanity, and responsibilities? The following are some suggestions:

VALIDATE YOURSELF

Acknowledge the things you accomplish and your contributions, rather than focus constantly on the things that aren't yet complete. You are respectful, responsible and loyal, constantly striving very hard to do a good job. Know that your efforts are appreciated even if it isn't always expressed in a way you readily recognize.

BE RESPONSIBLE...FOR YOURSELF

Take time to take care of yourself. It is your duty to spend time nourishing your own health and well being, not anyone else's. How can you possibly perform your functions if you yourself are in no condition to do so? It is of utmost importance that you explore and find avenues for self-preservation.

START NEW TRADITIONS

Are some of your traditions adding more stress than pleasure? Maybe it is time to allow or enlist some help from others to modernize a tradition. Just because it's always been done a certain way in the past does not mean it is still the best way. Families, organizations and norms are constantly shifting and changing. Embrace change and explore new ways to enhance old customs.

DELEGATE

Be aware of how hard you are driving yourself. Learn to discern the projects and tasks that can be passed on to others. Realize that sometimes others are actually eager to pitch in and help. When you are able to let go of having things accomplished in a very specific manner, you open up all kinds of possibilities.

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Copyright 2011 Mary Miscisin, all rights reserved.

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