OUT IN LEFT FIELD



Baseball Intelligence: December 2018(#86)

Monikers…The True “Terms of Endearment”

“You can call be anything, BUT not late for dinner!”

As the game of baseball has evolved over the past century and a half, its color and its zaniness have disappeared…where have you gone Bill Veeck? A game traditionally known for its “oddball” characters, unique historiography, and off-the-wall quotes is beginning to look almost like all techno-age phenomena. The day of “the shot heard around the world”, Lou Gehrig’s Farewell Address, the “Gas House Gang”, and other bigger than life legendary moments have passed and seemingly been replaces with over-hyped “super stars” and cleverly planned “extravaganzas…fan fests, home run derbies, replay, trick ballpark food, and fantasy baseball(yep, it is). Most importantly for Old Schoolers, the attitude and argot of the players has transformed from colorful to mundane(Thanks PC and snowflakes), and the monikers and nicknames of the past eras have been reduced to Bermanesque “labels of hyperbole and inanity”.

Have we lost the fun of naming the heroes of the game with fun/wry words of praise/shame? Have we lost forever, “Piano Legs” and “Minnie”, or even the very cool eponyms of Stengelese and a Ruthian Blast?

American society has always appreciated a clever or definitive nickname(the Donald?). As kids , especially in sports, it was customary to give everyone a moniker, or “tag”…despite the lack of PC!! The first rule was you cannot give yourself a nickname(Sorry Ali but you were not the Greatest!). Hence, there was always a “red”, “lefty”, “doggie”, “hoss”, “Swede”, “wheels”, “hands”, etal on every youth nine. Most nicknames were derived form physical characteristics or attributes, and most times not PC or kosher. God forbid if you had a big nose, wore glasses/braces, had a bad complexion, were short/tall, a surname that reflected your heritage, or even if you had a physical handicap. All was fair game on the playground!

You “democratically” were given a nickname/tag(not your choice), usually by the older guys and lived with it! Not uncommon were now socially taboo tags like Dago, Schnozz, Tubby, Mole, Blood, Cripple, not too mention those too crude and lewd to share in this column. It was just part of “growing up” and was reflected as well in Big League baseball. Today with the constant parental “supervision”, it is impossible to dub someone with an imaginative moniker or refer to any physical or mental anomaly! Too Bad for “The Big Ugly”, “Dummy” Hoy, or “Three Finger” Brown!

Social pressure has deemed it necessary to disallow and forbid references to an individual’s height, weight, gender, ethnicity, physical handicaps, mental “condition”, religion, etal unless in “politically correct” language. What a turnaround! The average person, not to mention the media, used to refer to Presidents(“Silent Cal”, “Tricky Dick”) by their “descriptive” nicknames as well as other political(“Boss Tweed”) and social leaders. Although many monikers were acceptable(“Rough and Ready”, “Honest Abe”), the public enjoyed identifying those in power or the spotlight as if they were just “one of the guys”!

Baseball, more than any other sport or facet of American life, seems to have popularized its players with the largest array of nicknames/monikers and jargon. Until the last 15 years or so, it seems as if every player, big name or “wannabee” was given(or earned) a colorful or descriptive tag that stuck with him throughout his career….and beyond! If one peruses the Baseball Encyclopedia many common and repetitive nicknames appear: Dutch, Doc, Rube, Red, Babe, Whitey, The Kid, Buddy(more than any other). Animals, hometowns, physical attributes, and ethnic references are also prevalent. In fact, even teams were given nicknames: The afore mentioned “Gas House Gang”, “Murderer’s Row”, “Big Red Machine”, “Miracle Mets”, the “Bums”, and the dastardly “Bronx Bombers”.

The historical epitome of nicknames was George Herman Ruth! He was lovingly called “the Babe”, Jidge”, The “BIG Fella”, the “Sultan of the Swat”(Amen), “Bambino”, “Colossus of Clout”, and even “Nig”. He in turn called everyone “kid”(as Williams called everyone “Bush”).

Heck, “The Babe” even gave his bat a moniker, “Black Betsy”! To reflect how prevalent nicknames were in the 1930’s, Johnny Martin of the St. Louis Cardinals(“Gas House Gang”) was known as “Pepper” Martin and even had the “nickname” of the “Wild Horse of the Osage”….a nickname for a nickname!!

To recant all the clever, descriptive, and “cool” monikers of past decades would entail reams of paper(many books are even written just about baseball nicknames). Hence, for the sake of brevity, the most unforgettable and classic examples are listed below:

ALL-TIME BEST: Bill “The Owl without a Vowel” Mlkvy, Marc “Scrabble” Rzepczynski, Doug “The Human Eye Chart” Gwosdz, Rafael “El Enano” Furcal(The Dwarf ibn Spanish!

Players with Multiple Nicknames: Ruth and Martin already cited.

Ted Williams: “The Kid”, “The Splendid Splinter”, “Teddy Ball game”

Mickey Mantle: “THE Mick”, “The Commerce Comet”

Lou Gehrig: “The Iron Horse”, “Larrupin’ Lou”

Brooks Robinson: “Hoover”, “Brooksie”, “The Human Vacuum Cleaner”

Joe DiMaggio: “The Yankee Clipper”, “Joltin” Joe”, “Mr. Coffee”(after baseball)

Stan Musial: “THE Man”, “Stosch”

Ernie Banks: “Mr. Cub”, “Let’s Play Two”

Some of the BEST and most memorable:

Mordecai “Three Fingers” Brown Ozzie “The Wizard of Oz” Smith

Luke “Aches and Pains” Appling Fred “Crime Dog” McGriff

Paul “Big Poison” Waner/brother Lloyd “Little Poison” Henry “Hammerin’ Hank” Aaron

Harold “Peewee” Reese Lenny “Nails” Dykstra

Robert “Rapid Robert” Feller LeRoy “Satchel” Paige

Mike “The Human Rain Delay” Hargrove Frank “The Big Hurt” Thomas

Robert “Death to Flying Things” Ferguson Phil “The Scooter” Rizzuto

Don “Gerbil” Zimmer Joseph “Shoeless Joe” Jackson

Lawrence “Yogi” Berra Walter “Big Train” Johnson

Willy “Say Hey” Mays Reggie “Mr. October” Jackson

Jay “Dizzy” and brother Paul “Daffy” Dean Vernon “Lefty” Gomez

Honus “The Flying Dutchman” Wagner Freddy “the Flea” Patek

Rusty “Le Gran Orange” Staub Vincent “Vincent Van Go” Coleman

Probably the team that best sums it up was the 1887 Louisville Colonels with the Toad, Ducky, Peek-aBoo, Chicken Wolf, and Ice Box!!

Again, though only a few monikers are listed above, it seems as if every old timer in the game, acceptable or not, had at least one. It may have all started with Alexander the Great, evolved through “Il Divino”(Michelangelo), to all of American life(“Scarface”, Pistol Pete”. The “Brown Bomber”, the other BABE, etal), but it seems that the great American pastime truly dubbed their beloved(or other) the most. Nicknames and baseball are married with even owners(The Boss, The Singing Cowboy), commissioners(Happy and Kenesaw Mountain), and even umpires(Blind Tom, Perfect Bill) getting into the act. It is too bad that the social mores of today and the sensitive egos of so many have kept nicknaming to a minimum. There are a few throwbacks like the “Flying Fish”, “Big Papi”, “Rocket”, etc but it is a real shame that most of today’s players are either too businesslike, macho, or “vanilla” to be called “Babe”, “Say Hey” or simply, “Red”!!

“I calls em like I seez em!”

“Coach Phil aka “French Frog”, “Phrog”, “Ivan Moxie”, but never late for dinner!

................
................

In order to avoid copyright disputes, this page is only a partial summary.

Google Online Preview   Download