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3120305511675-186055-246380Guide for Prayer ChaplainsWelcome, Purpose, and Thank you………………………………………………………………………………2-4Statements of Being Statements of Being…………………………………………..…...5 UWM Vision, Mission, Core Values………………………….6 UWM Statements of Peace and Inclusivity………………6 Agreeing and Disagreeing in Love…………………………7-8 Spiritual Community Vision, Mission, Core Values…..9 Personal Mission, Vision, Core Values……………………10Unity Foundation of Prayer………………………………………………………………………………………………11 Silent Unity—Myrtle’s Story………………………………………………………………………………….12 Prayer Consciousness………………………………………………………………………………………13-16Prayer Chaplain………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..17 Selection and Retention……………………………………………………………………………………18 Prayer Chaplain Description……………………………………………………………………………..19 Sunday Service…………………………………………………………………………………………..20 Contacts……………………………………………………………………………………………….21-22 Meetings & Training…………………………………………………………………………………..23 Reports & Forms……………………………………………………………………………………24-25 Code of Ethics……………………………………………………………………………………….26-28 Prayer Chaplain Promise……………………………………………………………………………29 Prayer Partners………………………………………………………………………………………….30Prayer Chaplain Basic Skills……………………………………………………………………………………………31 Listening Skills…………………………………………………………………………………………32-40 Confidentiality…………………………………………………………………………………………41-43 Five Phases of Prayer…………………………………………………………………………………..44 Affirmative Prayer…………………………………………………………………………………..45-48 Sacred Space………………………………………………………………………………………………..49 Praying with Others…………………………………………………………………………………50-51 Silence…………………………………………………………………………………………………….52-54 Common Reactions/Prayerful Responses…………………………………………………….55 Emergencies: Crisis intervention, abuse, etc……………………………………………56-58 Life’s Transitions……………………………………………………………………………………..59-66Continued Training…………………………………………………………………………………………………………..67 Twelve Powers………………………………………………………………………………………..68-81 Self Care………………………………………………………………………………………………….82-89Support and Resources Unity of North Texas Prayer Chaplains (UNTPC) contacts…………………………....91 Recommended Reading……………………………………………………………………………….92 Bibliography…………………………………………………………………………………………………93Unity of North Texas Prayer Chaplains GUIDE FOR PRAYER CHAPLAINS Welcome!As a Unity Prayer Chaplain, you have answered the call of service to your Spiritual Community through prayer. There is no greater gift than to uphold yourself, your congregants, and your ministry in prayer. Unity of North Texas Prayer Chaplains is grateful for your service and commitment as evidenced by attending UNTPC Prayer Chaplain Training, your Spiritual Community training, and rising to the commitment of serving as a Prayer Chaplain.Since the beginning of Unity, prayer has been the cornerstone on which all else is built. We are grateful to Myrtle Fillmore, her commitment to a life of prayer and to all of those who have come before us as Prayer Chaplains. We know that as we deepen our personal prayer lives, we see changes in ourselves and in the consciousness of our entire Spiritual Community.Use this Guide for Prayer Chaplains to begin/continue your journey as a Prayer Chaplain and use it as a tool to refine and redefine how you serve. Use it also as a tool to establish and grow the Prayer Chaplain Program in your Spiritual Community.Unity of North Texas Prayer Chaplains presents this Guide as a tool for all Unity Spiritual Communities in the Unity South Central Region (USCR) to begin and to sustain a Prayer Chaplain / Spiritual Care Program for each congregation.This guide has basic necessary components for beginning, training and ongoing education for a thriving Prayer Chaplain Program. You will find categories of material that are core for all Unity Spiritual Communities in the USCR region as well as materials that are Spiritual Community specific.This Guide is a working document and is intended to be used as such. Your input to improve the topics and content is welcome2Thank youThe “Unity of North Texas Prayer Chaplains” are grateful to the Unity Church of San Antonio (Texas)and to the Unity Church of Ames (Iowa)for graciously sharing their Prayer Chaplain Training materials with usas a resource for developing our new “Guide for Prayer Chaplains.”3THIS PAGE WAS INTENTIONALLY LEFT BLANK . . . AS WE HOLD SACRED SPACE.4STATEMENTS OF BEINGUnity Worldwide MinistriesSpiritual CommunityPersonal Statement of Being5 914400-357505 Statements of BeingUnity Worldwide Ministries Our VisionThe world’s premier provider of spiritual resources and the destination of choice for personaltransformation.Our MissionThrough prayer, publishing, and spiritual education, we support people expressing their divine potential for healthy, prosperous and meaningful lives.Our ValuesUnity is a center of spiritual light for people of the world. We are dedicated to letting this light shine so brightly that people become more aware of their spiritual nature and express it in their daily lives. We address physical, mental and emotional needs through affirmative prayer and spiritual education. We serve those who seek inspiration and prayer support as well as those who use Unity teachings as their primary path of spiritual growth.Unity Worldwide Ministries Statement of PeaceUnity stands for peace in the presence of conflict; for love in the presence of hatred; for forgiveness in the presence of injury. Unity honors the many names for God, the many paths to God, the many ways to worship God; for there is only one power and presence of God and that God loves each one of us equally. It is therefore the position of Unity Worldwide Ministries to urge all nations, their leaders, and their people to turn to God by whatever name for guidance during these challenging times and pursue peace, not war, for this is what honors the God of all our faith traditions. Unity stands for peace in our lifetime. Statement of InclusivityWe believe that all people are created with sacred worth. Therefore, we recognize the importance of serving all people within the Unity family in spiritually and emotionally caring ways. We strive for our ministries, publications and programs to reach out to all who seek Unity support and spiritual growth. It is imperative that our ministries and outreaches be free of discrimination on the basis of race, color, gender, age, creed, religion, national origin, ethnicity, physical disability or sexual orientation. Our sincere desire is to create a spiritually aware community that is nondiscriminatory and supports diversity. 6Unity Worldwide MinistriesAGREEING AND DISAGREEING IN LOVECommitments for Unity Congregations in Times of DisagreementEndeavoring to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace (Ephesians 4:3), as both individual members and as a spiritual community, we pledge that we shall:In ThoughtAccept conflict. Acknowledge that conflict is a normal part of our life in the church. Romans 14:1-8, 10-12, 17-19, 15:1-7.Affirm the Truth. Endeavor to see conflict as symptomatic of what’s missing in our intention to create authentic community. Peacemaking is creating a pathway to God. Matthew 5:9Commit to prayer. Examine where we are coming from and release our need to be right. Acknowledge all parties have needs and to pray for win/win solution (no prayers for my success or for the other to change). James 5:16In ActionGo to the other. Go directly to those with whom we disagree; avoid behind-the- back criticism. Refrain from engaging in “parking lot” conversations. Matthew 5:23- 24; 18:15-20In the spirit of humility. Go in gentleness, patience, and humility. Own our part in the conflict instead of blaming others and acting as if the others are responsible for how we are. Galatians 6:1-5Be quick to listen. Listen carefully, summarize and check out what is heard before responding. Seek as much to understand as to be understood. James 1:19; Proverbs 18:13Be slow to judge. Suspend judgments, end enrolling others in our position, discard threats, and act in a non-defensive and non-reactive way. Romans 2:1-4; Galatians 5:22-26Be willing to negotiate. Work through the disagreement constructively. Acts 15;Philippians 2:1-11Identify issues, interests, and needs of both (rather than take positions).Generate a variety of options for meeting both parties’ needs (rather than defending one’s own way).Evaluate options by how they meet the needs and satisfy the interests of all sides (not just one side’s values).Collaborate in working out a joint solution (so both sides gain, both grow and win).Cooperate with the emerging agreement (accept the possible, not demand the ideal).Reward each other for each step forward; toward agreement (celebrate mutuality). 7 Agreeing and Disagreeing in Love ContinuedIn LifeBe firm in our commitment to seek a mutual solution; be steadfast in acting from Principle (do the right thing); be hard on issues, soft on people. Colossians 3:12-15 Be open to peacemaking. Be open to accept skilled help. If we cannot reach agreement among ourselves, we will use those with gifts and training in peacemaking. Philippians 4:1-3Trust the community. Trust the wisdom of the community and if we cannot reach agreement or experience reconciliation, we will turn the decision over to the congregation or seek assistance from the Ministry for Peacemaking. In one-to- one or small group disputes, this may mean allowing others to arbitrate. In congregational disputes, this may mean implementing constitutional decision- making processes (membership vote) when peacemaking assistance is unable to facilitate reconciliation. Acts 15Be the expression of the Christ. Be committed to peacemaking and the demonstration of Principle, rather than resort to courts of law.1 Corinthians 6:1-6 8Ministry SpecificMy Spiritual Community Statement of BeingMission:Vision:Core Values: 9 Individual SpecificMy Personal Statement of BeingMission:Vision:Core Values: 10Unity Foundation of PrayerMyrtle’s StorySince the beginning of the Unity movement, affirmative prayer has been the keystone of the organization’s growth.In 1886 Charles and Myrtle Fillmore attended a lecture given by Dr. E. B. Weeks. Myrtle Fillmore walked out of the meeting repeating over and over again the idea she heard that “I am a child of God and therefore do not inherit sickness.” She had been diagnosed before that with a terminal disease and told she had only months to live. This simple affirmative prayer led to a complete healing for her (she lived 40 more years) and a turn-around in Charles’s financial and business affairs.Affirmative prayer has been the heart of Unity since those early beginnings. Silent Unity has received missions of prayer requests over the years, and most importantly, thousands of positive results have been experienced in the lives of people making those requests.Silent Unity continues its prayer vigil and the Unity Centers, Ministries, and Study Groups have expanded this affirmative prayer work into the communities all over the world.As a Prayer Chaplain, you are continuing the work that Charles and Myrtle Fillmore started over 100 years ago and bringing the miracles that can be experienced with affirmative prayer into your community.Prayer and ConsciousnessUnity of Ames (p.15, 17-20)“There is One Presence and One Power, God the Good, Omnipotent”—Daily Word Charles Fillmore’s Seven Conditions of Prayer —Revealing Word, pg. 153Recognize God as SourceAcknowledge Oneness with GodPrayer occurs within “the Secret Place of the Most High” --Psalm 91Close the door to all thoughts and interests of the outer worldBelieve that the prayer is already accomplished in the Mind of GodSeeking first the Kingdom of God is the greatest desire of the heartRelease all resentments and unforgiving thoughtsGuidelines for Affirmative PrayerState the needBecome stillDeny the belief in the reality of the condition (release all false beliefs & assumptions; see as God sees)Attain a realization of the fulfillment of the prayer in consciousness (feeling it already accomplished)Give thanks in advanceWhat is Prayer?All down the ages man has been making the spiritual effort to realize conscious union with that innermost center where Truth in all its glory abides eternally. This realization can be accomplished only through true prayer.--Charles and Cora Fillmore -Teach Us to PrayWhat is Prayer?Prayer is to change our minds and hearts so that God's omnipresent good may fill our minds and hearts and manifest in our livesMyrtle Fillmore – Healing LettersPrayer, as Jesus Christ understood and used it, is communion with God; the communion of the child with his or her Father; the splendid confidential talks of the son or daughter with the Father.This communion is an attitude of mind and heart. It lifts the individual into a wonderful sense of oneness with God, who is Spirit, the source of every good and perfect thing, and the substance that supplies all the child's needs--whether they are spiritual, social, mental, physical, or financial.Myrtle Fillmore – Healing LettersSlotha – Aramaic word for prayer – “to trap” or “to set a trap”. Thus prayer in its initial sense implies “setting your mind like a trap so you may catch the thoughts of God”Rocco Errico – Setting a Trap for GodPrayer is a personal experience of oneness, something you do, not for God, but in and for yourself, something you do to lift yourself to a transcendental awareness of God.Prayer is not conditioning God to your needs, but conditioning your needs to the activity of God. Prayer is not trying to reach God, or inform God, or tell God all about your troubles. It is to know God as the infinite resource within, and to expand your self-realization.Eric Butterworth – The Universe is CallingWhere would we send our prayers?We should direct them to our minds and hearts and affairs. We commune with God-Mind within our own consciousness. Prayer is an exercise to change our thought habits and our living habits that we may set up a new and better activity, in accord with the divine law rather than with the suggestions we have received from various sources.Myrtle Fillmore – Healing LettersWe do not pray to God, we pray from a consciousness of God. Prayer is self-realization, self- expansion. It is re-centering within and re-establishing ourselves in the flow of the infinite creative process.Prayer is turning the focus of our consciousness from the problem to our center of being in God, and giving way to the creative flow which will stream forth therapeutically from within our innermost self.Prayer is contemplating of the facts of life from the highest point of view. (Emerson) It is lifting up your self-identification to a higher awareness.Eric Butterworth – The Universe is CallingWhat do we change with prayer?God-Mind expresses its thoughts so perfectly that there is no occasion for change; hence all prayers and supplications for the change of God's will to conform to human desires are futile. God does not change His mind, or trim His thought, to meet the conflicting opinions of mankind. Understanding the perfection of God thoughts, man must conform to them; so conforming, he will discover that there is never necessity for any change of the will of God in regard to human affairs.Charles Fillmore – Christian HealingThe important need is not to try to effect some change in other people, but to make some changes in your thoughts about them. Don’t try to set them right, see them rightly. To see them rightly you must get rid of some narrow frames of reference, and get out of the feeling of concern.People feel what you feel for them and respond in some way to it.When we worry about someone, we are putting the full weight of our consciousness on the side of their difficulty. We are hindering their progress; we actually become a part of their problem. When we want to help someone the important work is to be done in us. We must heal our concerns, our worries, our fears, our prejudices, and our anxious mind.We can only radiate “the contagion of a triumphant spirit” that comes when we clear our own mind, and get ourselves centered and in tune with God. The work to be done is in us, on our consciousness, not in the other person. We do not want to let go, but if we really want to help, there is no other way. Fill with a consciousness of God; project this consciousness on others, saluting the divinity in them, seeing them strong and whole.Eric Butterworth – The Universe is CallingWhat happens energetically when we pray?True prayer brings about an exalted radiation of energy, and when it is accompanied by faith, judgment, and love, the word of Truth bursts forth in a stream of light that, when held in mind, illumines, uplifts, and glorifies.Charles Fillmore – Atom Smashing Power of MindPrayer liberates the energies pent up in the mind and body. Those who pray much create a spiritual aura that eventually envelops the whole body. The bands of light painted by artists around the heads of saints are not imaginary; they actually exist and are visible to the sharp eye of the painter. Luke testifies (9:29) that when Jesus was praying "his countenance was altered, and his raiment became white and dazzling." After Moses had been praying on the mountain his face shone so brightly that the people could not look at it, and he had to wear a veil.Charles Fillmore – Revealing WordWhy do we begin prayer with time in silence?The silence is a state of consciousness entered into for the purpose of putting man in touch with Divine Mind so that the soul may listen to the "still small voice" (I Kings 19:12). When one goes into the silence he enters the "secret place of the Most High," the closet of prayer within.Charles Fillmore – Revealing WordPrayer is words that God may utter through you, that you voice or feel in the silence.Eric Butterworth – The Universe is CallingHow should we pray?Instead of a supplication, prayer should be a jubilant thanksgiving. This method of prayer quickens the mind miraculously. Like a mighty magnet, it draws out the spiritual qualities that transform the whole man when they are given expression in mind, body, and affairs.Charles Fillmore – Dynamics of LivingWhy do we use affirmative prayer?To a person in the understanding of Truth prayer should be an affirmation of that which is in Being.What is the necessity of the prayer of affirmation if Being already is?In order that the creative law of the Word may be fulfilled. All things are in God as potentialities. It is man's office under the divine law to bring into manifestation that which has been created or planned by the unmanifest. Everybody should pray.Through prayer we develop the highest phase of character. Prayer softens and refines the whole man. Prayer is not supplication or begging but a simple asking for that which we know is waiting for us at the hands of our Father and an affirmation of its existenceCharles Fillmore – Jesus Christ HealsPrayer ChaplainPrayer Chaplain Selection and RetentionMinistry SpecificNew and Continuing Chaplains Path to be a Prayer ChaplainThe invitationEach person’s first step will be different. Some will know instinctively that they are called, some will be invited, and some will explore the possibility in other ways.Hear the inner call to be a prayer chaplainInvited to consider being a prayer chaplainChaplain Candidate Information SessionOffered to provide an overview of chaplainRoleResponsibilitiesExperiences of othersAnswer questions of potential candidate and current Prayer ChaplainsConversation with Chaplain Coordinator/s prior to retreatIndividual conversation with Chaplain Coordinator to consider becoming Prayer ChaplainMinister / Spiritual Leader is also involved in this processParticipate in Unity of North Texas Prayer Chaplains and individual ministry Chaplain RetreatFollow up conversationIndividual conversations with Chaplain Coordinator to determine if stepping in to Prayer Chaplain Role is the best next step.Participate in Ministry Specific RetreatA Prayer Chaplain may be lovingly released from service:Violation of Code of Ethics for Prayer Chaplains (see pp. 26-28)Breach of confidentialityNot fulfilling responsibilities of prayer chaplainIt is not in the best interest of the candidate or the ministry to serve at this timeMinistry SpecificPrayer Chaplain Description Unity of San Antonio (B-2)Time Commitment for one year of service Praying during Sunday services as needed.Calling members from church office two hours monthly. Attending monthly 1 1/2 hour training meeting. Participating in the annual intensive training including one weekend training retreat. Choosing opportunities for pastoral supportConduct and ResponsibilitiesMaintain a personal prayer habit, acknowledging God/Divine Nature and your Divine Identity.Faithfully honor your time commitments and assignments as a Prayer Chaplain. Pray with others, aloud and in your private times of municate regularly with your Prayer Chaplain Team Leaders and reply promptly to communications from them.Attend mandatory orientation, training sessions, and monthly training meetings. Be prepared, be punctual and actively participate in all discussions.Conduct prayer visitations for members in hospitals or homes as available.Maintain active membership in your spiritual community and regularly attend Sunday services.Cultivate a habit of empathically listening.Maintain careful confidentiality in team gatherings and when praying with others. Follow training instructions for mandatory notifications and professional referrals.Abide by the Prayer Chaplain Code of EthicsPractice Agreeing and Disagreeing in LoveIn times of conflict, Prayer Chaplain remains neutral and always holds the “high watch,” holds sacred space and stands strong in Unity PrinciplesA Prayer Chaplain may be lovingly released from service on the team for the following reasons: Breach of confidentiality.Failure to complete any part of your commitment.Determination by the Prayer Chaplain Team Leaders that serving as a Prayer Chaplain is not in the best interests of the spiritual community and/ or the individual chaplain at this time.The Prayer Chaplain ministry is an extension of pastoral services provided by your minister. As a Prayer Chaplain, you uphold the spiritual intentions of those you pray with during their times of vulnerability and seeking. When you are on duty as a Prayer Chaplain, be present and prepared to pray. If you ever feel you are unable to fulfill your responsibilities for any reason, notify your Prayer Chaplain team leader and together determine the best course of action.Ministry SpecificSunday Service Prayer SupportAdapted from Unity Church of San Antonio (B-9)Prayer Chaplains support our spiritual community before, during, and after Sunday Services, by the activity of prayer. Suggestions:The following directions maximize the giving of your gift of prayer on Sundays.Arrive early. Be available for morning prayer.Check to see that prayer intention cards and pens/pencils are displayed.Be available for prayer, and participation in the service as requestedGive the gift of being fully present, fully available to serve congregants with prayer.When the Service has ended, stand in designated area awaiting those seeking prayer support.If anyone approaches to interrupt a prayer in progress, pause the prayer to ask them to sit a little distance away and that you will be with them shortly.Manage the sounds around you by sitting close to the person you are praying with, and mentioning the signs of life evident in the sounds around you, to reduce their potential distraction.Prayer Connections/Contacts Adapted in part from Unity Church of San AntonioMinistry SpecificOne of the privileges of membership in Unity Spiritual Communities is proactive prayer support. Every month, every each member receives a telephone call from a prayer chaplain, calling from a quiet space in your Spiritual Community offering words of prayer. As a prayer chaplain, you become the champion of each member’s growing awareness of their Divine Identity. Here are some guidelines for effectively conducting your monthly contactsDetermine desired method of contactUpon receiving congregant assignments, contact each congregant to let them know you will be their chaplain, what they may expect (monthly contact for prayer support, etc.) and learn how they would like to be contacted (text, email, phone)LocationAll Prayer Chaplain calls, except in emergency situations, are placed from Spiritual Community campus. Determine in advance where in your building there is a quiet place to make callsPrayer calls are made on the premises for good reasons. The activity is easily regarded as a ministry; confidentiality is preserved, as all records are kept in the office. Members receiving calls will see Spiritual Community phone number rather than your personal name and number on their phone’s identification screen. You set aside the time and space for prayer call activity as sacred.Member AssignmentsThe Prayer Chaplain team leaders assign prayer chaplains to the members of your Spiritual Community. Contact your team leader with any concerns that arise in regard to your member assignments. For example, if you are assigned a member who is a close friend, it may be appropriate for someone else to be their prayer chaplain.Visits** These guidelines apply to visits made with congregants who are in the hospital.** If a congregant asks you to visit them at their home, you are not to go alone. Prayer Chaplains should make any home visits in pairs, with full knowledge of the minister.Visiting a congregant in the hospital is a sacred privilege. You may be asked to visit a congregant on your call list or to call on someone when the minister is unavailable. It is important to follow some general guidelines for the care of the congregant as well as for the Prayer Chaplain.Pray before you go.Wear dress-casual apparel, avoid perfumes/colognes, and take breath mints.When you arrive at the hospital, wash your hands or use the foam dispensers located throughout the hospital.When you arrive at the congregant’s hospital room, look for any signage that offers precautionary messages: Medical Hazard, Isolation, and Infectious Areas.As a Prayer Chaplain, you are not asked to enter any room if you are uncomfortable doing so. In such cases, offer prayers from the hallway, the hospital chapel, or from home.If you are comfortable entering a congregant’s hospital room, knock first! Wait to be invited into the room.If congregant is sleeping when you arrive, say a silent prayer and leave your card unless a family member or caregiver advises otherwise.Do not sit on the bed or touch the congregant without having permission.Acknowledge anyone else in the room – include them in your visit and in your prayers, unless the patient prefers privacy with you.Do not provide any material care to the patient, including getting them liquids or solid foods, or moving them (aside from fluffing a pillow). If patient indicates care is needed and no caregiver is present, check with nursing staff.Talk to and pray with the patient! Often we talk to those present as if the patient can’t hear or speak for themselves.Keep your visit brief. The visit should not last longer than 15 minutes. Make general inquiries as to how they are doing.Pray with them. Include any family and friends present if they desire. Ask if they would like the minister to be notified.If congregant asks for or seems to require material support such as transportation, meals, or house cleaning, please do not confuse your Prayer Chaplain role by attempting to provide these services. Ask instead if the congregant would permit you to notify the minister and seek resources that provide material support on a short-term basis.When you leave a hospital room, wash hands or use the foam dispensers throughout the hospital.Stop in the hospital chapel if desired to offer a prayer of release. Avoid taking the experience home with youMeetings and TrainingMinistry SpecificUnity of North Texas Prayer Chaplains (UNTPC) hosts an annual Prayer Chaplain Training Retreat, usually in November.Individual Spiritual Communities are encouraged to create their own unique annual Prayer Chaplain Training Retreat shortly before or after UNTPC Retreat.Monthly meeting and training session are necessary for teambuilding and developing a strong Prayer Chaplain program, i.e. consciousness and skills.Suggested Training TopicsTraining topics for meetings include but not limited to:Unity Affirmative Prayer – History, theory, ongoing practice including video role playingMeditation Review – Approaches to meditation and the silenceBeing a sacred presence in life, and in your Spiritual Community – Role of chaplain in time of conflict. Supporting Unity’s Agreeing and Disagreeing in Love.Prayer Chaplain as Companion – supporting congregants during times of life transitionsPrayer Chaplain Self Care – Exploring self-care, how to develop personal self-care program with support of chaplains.Prayer Chaplain Commitment – Sunday service, congregant contact, monthly reporting, etc.Crisis Intervention – local suicide and crisis centers provide training in crisis management.857250205740Reports and FormsSample Unity on GreenvilleChaplain Monthly Report Chaplain___________________________________________ Month_____________________________________________Assigned CongregantsNumber of assigned congregants: Number of congregants contacted: Email:Prayed with: Left message: Other Prayer Contacts:After service: Other requests: Total prayer contacts made:Congregant change of information: address, phone, email, rmation changes:Sent to Unity on Greenville office and Chaplain Coordinator: yes noComments:914400-173990SAMPLEUnity of Dallas Prayer Chaplain ProgramPrayer ConnectionsUnity of Dallas Prayer Chaplains are present at every service to pray with congregants on a one-on-one basis. In addition, the Prayer Chaplains provide monthly prayer support. Traditionally this has been in the form of a monthly phone call. This year the Prayer Chaplains wish to offer more options to congregants for this monthly prayer support. Listed below are those options and information requests that will allow us to serve your prayer support needs in the way you choose.Please circle which one of the prayer options listed below would best meet your needs and complete the information required.Name: If you choose to be contacted monthly by a telephone call, please provide the phone number at which you would like to receive this call:If you choose to be contacted monthly by email,* please provide the email address at which you would like to receive an emailed general prayer message:If you choose be contacted monthly by email* asking “how may I support you in prayer?” to which you would respond with your specific prayer request, a chaplain will reply with a personalized prayer. Please provide the email address you would like us to use:If you choose to simply have your name included in the daily prayers of a chaplain, please indicate here: *Please note that due to the nature of emails and the server being used, this may not be private.Thank you. We are honored to support you in prayerCODE OF ETHICS FOR PRAYER CHAPLAINSBased on “Code of Ethics for Ministers/Spiritual Leaders” Association of Unity Churches, 2002Dedication to Truth PrinciplesAs a Unity Prayer Chaplain, I will adhere to the five basic ideas:God is Absolute good, everywhere present.Every human being is an expression of the Divine; the Christ spirit, by whatever name, indwells all people. Their very essence is of God, and therefore they are also inherently good.Human beings create their experience by the activity of their thinking. Everything in the manifest realm has its beginning in thought.Prayer is creative thinking that heightens the connection with God-Mind and therefore brings forth wisdom, healing, prosperity, and everything good.Knowing and understanding the laws of life, also called Truth, are not enough. A person must also live the truth that he/she knows.I look to the indwelling Christ for inspiration, to guide, govern, and prosper me.I will, to the best of my understanding and ability, bring the freeing truth to humankind. This I will do in a spiritually dignified way, being guided by divine wisdom and good judgment.I believe in the power of prayer and I am convinced that, as Jesus said, “All things are possible to him who believes.” And I will seek to deepen my prayer life and prayer experiences for only as I drink from the fountain of truth myself can I offer the cup of truth to others.I consecrate myself to God, and in so doing surrender any selfish desires and personal ambition so that the will of God may be expressed through me in service to humankind.I will seek to express a greater measure of humility, remembering that true humility is an attitude toward God, rather than an attitude toward humankind. Thus I will not seek to glorify self, but seek to glorify God.I believe that the true Prayer Chaplain is one who has been called to this work by the spirit of Truth within. I desire only to express this Truth, and to teach others to live it.I will not use the position of a Unity Prayer Chaplain for my own personal gain.The Prayer Chaplain Relationship with OthersThe Prayer Chaplain relationship pre-supposes certain role expectations; the Prayer Chaplain is expected to make available certain resources, talents, knowledge, and expertise which will serve the best interests of the congregant.The role of the Prayer Chaplain carries with it responsibility. I will fulfill my responsibility and to benefit the people who call upon me for service.I will maintain the boundaries of the Prayer Chaplain relationship, realizing that crossing boundaries is a betrayal of trust.I will refrain from sexual contact and/or sexualized behavior with a congregant with whom I have a Prayer Chaplain relationship, realizing it is unethical.I am in honor bound to hold sacred all confidences reposed in me. Confession of error or seeming misconduct made in conferences or consultation and any defects of character or misbehavior revealed to me while engaged as Prayer Chaplain shall be kept secret and held inviolate and never divulged to another person regardless of that other person’s status or relation, except as I may choose to do so as required by state or federal law. I will consult with the Prayer Chaplain Coordinator or Minister as appropriate.I will never mention, without permission, either privately, or publicly, the name, residence, or locality of any person under treatment in the past or present in illustration or verification of the principles of healing. The ministry of healing or counseling is held to be sacred and, therefore, is to be conducted with reverence and with the strictest regard for the sensibilities and individual rights of students and counselee who in good faith and confidence have committed themselves to the consideration and guidance of the minister/spiritual leader.I believe that more is taught by what a Prayer Chaplain is than what s/he says. Therefore, I will seek to keep my morals above reproach. I will exercise good judgment in regard to my social conduct. And my relationships will be such as to command only the highest respect. I am conscious of the fact that to be pure in heart is to be pure in conduct also.Relating to Others in MinistryI recognize that it is incumbent upon me to hold all minister/spiritual leaders in esteem and respectful regard, and to use all rightful means to protect the personal and professional honor of all other minister/spiritual leaders.I will respect the work, both public and private, of our minister/spiritual leaders, and shall uphold them in their endeavor to carry on the practices and duties of the Unity ministryAn assistant [or associate] minister/spiritual leader, or teacher, will give the senior minister/spiritual leader full support and cooperation, and will not criticize the minister/ spiritual leader in any way, or discuss the minister/spiritual leader in a negative way with any church or center member, board member, or outsider. If a problem arises, assistant/associate/teacher will discuss it directly with the senior minister/spiritual leader.IVMy PledgeI sincerely devote myself to living in accord with this Code in letter and in spirit, and to seeing it made manifest in all others, thus bringing to ourselves only associations and conditions that harmonize with this Code. I recognize my ministry, Unity Worldwide Ministries / International Association of Unity Churches and this Code of Ethics as a framework in which I individually agree to function. I recognize that such an agreement is necessary for our mutual and individual effectiveness.Prayer Chaplain SignatureDatePrayer Chaplain PromiseMinistry SpecificMy promise as a Prayer Chaplain:I promise to maintain a daily spiritual practice, including prayer.I promise to practice the principles taught at Unity Church of_. I promise to listen with spiritual ears to others’ prayer intentions.I promise to hold the intentions of others in confidence and trust. I promise to support my Prayer Chaplain teammates in prayer.I promise to uphold my spiritual community in prayer including my minister, lay leaders and membersI promise to act on this commitment through service to Unity Church ofin the following ways:Attend Sunday Services regularly and support Sunday Services as the designated Prayer Chaplain as neededContact assigned members and pray with them monthly, and submit monthly reports.Attend monthly Prayer Chaplain team meetings and annual mandatory training sessions.Maintain communication with Prayer Chaplain team leaders and team members and promptly reply to communications from them.Contact team leaders and minister whenever I require spiritual support, have questions about my role and responsibilities, or encounter challenging situations as a Prayer Chaplain.I promise to uphold all of the above stated promises for a period of one year.Prayer Chaplain Signature/DatePrayer Chaplain Team Leader/DateUnity of Ames (pg. 13)Prayer PartnersPurposeTo support each other during the year in prayerChecking in with each other Praying with each other Keeping each other in prayerHowSet a time to meet in person or contact each other by phone Set a time limit for the prayer or callConsider once a week for 15-30 minutes Agree on a format that will work for bothSuggested format:Open prayer time with the Lord’s PrayerShare three things you are grateful forMay share an inspirational reading –Daily Word State prayer requestEach partner will respond with a few short appropriate affirmations, a few moments of silence and AmenThank each other and end the prayer timeImportant InformationName: Telephone: Call Time: Prayer Chaplain Basic SkillsListening SkillsIn the 1970’s, Dr. Albert Mehrabian at U.C.L.A., published his research on effective listening skills in a book titled “Silent Messages.” His research came up with the now famous 7%-38%-55% ratio for understanding the impact of listening in communication skills.This research showed that our listening ability was a testament to the credibility of our communications. The decision by a responder to believe / like / internalize our communication was based 7% on the words we use, 38% by the tone of our voice and 55% by our body language.Most people feel the words we use are the most important consideration during communication. Dr. Mehrabian’s research shows that our tone of voice and body language had much larger impacts on how people like us and believe our communication.As a Prayer Chaplain, it is important to communicate unconditional love and the “Truth Principles” as we understand them. Since 55% of our credibility is based on our body language as we communicate, let’s look at some simple basic ideas to support our affirmative prayer delivery.S mile - General bonding signal that all is well.O pen - Body Posture – arms and legs uncrossed and in an open position.F orward Lean - Lean into or toward your prayer partner.T erritory -We all have a personal space of about three feet around us that is our comfort zone. Honor this.E ye Contact - People trust people that look them in the eye. Five to eight seconds of contact is appropriate.N od Your Head - This is an affirmation that you are listening.Since most of us have not been trained in these body language skills, we suggest you practice them before you find a need to use them. Generally, pick one skill to practice each day for a week and see how it changes your communication abilities.“Be silent, and I will teach you wisdom” Job 33:33Unity of Ames ( pg. 53)Listening from the heartLISTENING from the heart does not:Critique thoughts or feelingsInterrupt the flow of grief expressionGive directions or advice LISTENING from the heart does:Offer pure and non-anxious presenceCreate space for receiving whatever the other chooses to expressExpand time for receiving however much the other chooses to expressConvey reverence for the person and the contents of their grief LISTENING from the heart:Looks like doing nothingComforts like a warm blanketRelieves the soul and fills the heartOpens the way to clarity and actionUnity of Ames (pg. 38-44)LISTENING WITH A PURE HEARTBased on the book, “Be Heard Now”, by Lee GlicksteinListening is one of the gifts from God that allow us to experience Oneness in the world of form. If we can quiet our minds for a few moments and focus our attention in the Presence, we discover that we are the Presence listening.Listening with a pure heart or from the Presence, is listening from a space of no judgment or reference. It is listening from the emptiness where only the expression of pure love for the Divine in all of us is present. When we listen from the Divine in us, we listen with our whole being for the opportunity to experience the Presence in all its glory. To listen with a pure heart is to know that beyond the appearance of a human pain there is the hope, the glory and Truth of Spirit.To develop our listening skills we will practice a technique developed by Lee Glickstein applying it to listening in the practice of prayer. For more information about “Speaking from the Heart” or “Speaking Circles” please visit: Introduction to the concept of Relational PresenceRelational Presence was developed by Lee Glickstein, He wrote the book “Be Heard Now” and started “Speaking Circles” and these are his words to describe Relational Presence:Relational Presence is the state of listening with another beyond agenda, words, personality, effort. It is not itself engagement but rather a state of neutral availability for connection with no expectation or demand for it. Connection tends to arise naturally when two people meet in the Relational Presence field. Instead of social signals like smiles and nods, Relational Presence is marked by a gaze of "passionate neutrality," or a sense of positive regard for another being, not their personality.To reach hearts, minds and souls from a place of ease requires the capacity to establish and Relational Presence field through which content and agenda flow unimpeded. One can establish this field instantly in any situation when one has isolated, flexed and toned the Relational Presence "muscle."Relational Presence:Listening intently – remember it is the Presence lovingly listeningNeutrally – non judgmentally – neither bad or goodUse Positive regardSoft Gaze and neutral faceMaintain Confidentiality – even with partner at all times, cannot discuss with partner what was said, now or ever. You can ask their permission but need be gentle about it and leave comfortable room for the other person to say no.Listening for the Request or Need when asked for prayerListen closely what the person is asking for – Listen with a pure heartIdentify in a couple of words what the person’s request is and know the Truth about it.Identify what the Quality or Attribute is that would meet or exceed the request or needAllow qualities that you might pray for to softly emergeAffirm these qualities as the Truth present nowThe Healing Gift of ListeningTake Time to ListenTypes of Listening Active ListeningCharacteristics of Good Listening Role of Silence in Listening Roadblocks to ListeningHow do I Listen? Role Play ListeningTake Time to ListenSometimes we are so busy thinking about this or about that. Sometimes we are so busy talking. Sometimes we are just so busy that we do not have time to listen. It is by listening that we learn we do not have time not to listen. It is by listening that we learn the deepest truths.Even in times of prayer it is possible to think so loudly that the “still small voice,” ever counseling from within, is unnoticed and unheard. Today let us quiet our thoughts and our voices so that we may learn from the spirit of God within us.In our times of prayer let us open our ears inward to God’s guiding presence and say, “Speak, Lord, for thy servant heareth.” Then let us listen patiently for divine ideas, which will inevitably come to us.When others are speaking, let us listen so that we may be quickened to the inspiration that is found in the sharing of ideas. As we take time to listen, we find that we are a part of the harmony of the music of life that is going on all about us.“Blessed are…your ears, for they hear.” Matt. 13: 16The Right WordsDave Potter2nd Helping of Chicken Soup for the SoulAfter my brother’s massive heart attack, he lay in a coma in the hospital’s coronary intensive care unit. Tubes and wires hooked him up to machines that kept him alive. A scope showed the wiggly lines of a faltering heartbeat. The only sound in his round body was the rhythmical whoosh of the pump forcing air into his lungs. My sister-in-law stood by helpless.As a minister, I had often been with families in similar situations. I had searched for the right words, the perfect scriptural passage, a phrase of hope, trying to comfort them. But this was a new experience.During these difficult days, my sister-in-law and I were torn between hope and resignation. We appreciated every visitor. We were grateful for their stories of people who had snapped out of comas and returned to normal. We listened when they talked knowledgeably about the stages of grief. We knew they cared. But many visitors came through the door talking, and kept talking. Was that how I had dealt with my nervousness when I didn’t know what to say?Then a casual friend came to visit. He stood with us around the bed, looking at my brother’s body. There was a long silence. Suddenly overcome with emotion, he said, “I’m sorry.” There was another long pause. Finally, he hugged my sister-in-law and then turned to shake my hand. He held it a second longer than necessary and squeezed a little harder than usual. As he looked at me, tears came to his eyes. And then he left. One week later, my brother died.Years have passed, and I still remember that visitor. I do not recall his name, but I’ll never forget how he shared our grief, quietly and sincerely, and without awkwardness. His few words spoke volumes.Types of ListeningListening is a skill…a skill that requiresan intention, a willingness on our part to increase our effectiveness as a listener.Head listening—How do I listen with my head? What am I listening for?Heart listening—How do I listen with my heart? What am I listening for?Empathic listening: focused on the other only, resonating with what they are saying and experiencing.Our goal as Chaplains is to improve on our skill as empathic listeners; to listen and look with soft eyes and an open heart. From this place we do not judge, we do not advise, we do not fix or solve; we simply open our hearts and listen, while knowing the Truth for them and beholding the Christ within.Empathy—means “feeling into” Apathy says,“I don’t care.”“That’s your problem.”Sympathy says, “You poor thing!”“I feel just so sorry for you!” It further fuels the ‘drama.’Empathy says,“Looks like you’re feeling down.”“Sounds as if you were really hurt by that.”Active ListeningActive listening is a method of enhancing communications which:Does not try to solve problems or alter behavior.Is designed to establish and maintain communication of emotions between individuals in a non-judgmental, accepting way.Uses silence, verbal and physical responses which communicate empathic understanding. (e.g., body language)Allows each individual the right to their own problems and feelings, and the right to discover their own solutions.Fosters respect between individuals, and acknowledges each person as a capable, responsible adult.Basic Attitudes for Active Listening:Wanting to hear—taking timeWanting to helpTrusting the person’s ability to solve their own problemAccepting the person’s feelings (not fearing or wanting to fix)Realizing that feelings are transitorySeeing the person as a separate, whole individualBenefits of Active Listening:People become less afraid of negative feelings—their own and others’Promotes a relationship of warmth and trust between peopleHelps with problem-solvingCharacteristics of Good ListeningStop talking! You cannot listen if you are talking. Wait, your turn will come.Put the talker at ease. Help them feel free to talk. This is providing them with a “permissive, safe environment.”Show them that you want to listen. Be interested. Listen for them, not to them. Listen to understand, rather than to reply. Maintain good eye contact.Remove distractions. Don’t doodle, tap, read, or shuffle papers. Turn off noisemakers, close the door, turn off cell phone, etc.Empathize with them. Try to put yourself in their place so that you can see their point of view.Be patient. Allow plenty of time. Don’t interrupt. Don’t start for the door or walk away or make hand signals to hurry them along.Hold your temper. An angry person will get the wrong meaning from words and the anger inhibits active listening.Go easy on argument & criticism. This puts the talker on the defensive. They may ‘clam up’ and get angry and defensive.Ask questions. This encourages the clarification of their thoughts and shows that you are listening and helps them to develop points further, perhaps leading them to their own solution.Stop talking! You just cannot do a good job of listening while you are talking. Nature gave us two ears, but only one tongue, which is a gentle reminder that we should listen more than we talk!Role of Silence in ListeningSilence is one of the most effective tools in your role as Chaplain. Silence is full of promise and fulfillment. Allowing silence is providing the space for Spirit to speak and ‘show up’ for the person.Silence can feel uncomfortable; however, listening with the heart in the silence opens a space for safety for the one you are listening to. “Be still and know that I Am God,” as the psalmist reminds us, provides for a sacred experience in the conversation.QuestionsGiving adviceRoadblocks to CommunicationDiverting the conversation (changing the topic; telling your own story)Logical solutionsFixing the situationReassurance that “everything will be all right”Do comfort them—strengthen them by being with them as Soul Companions. This is the greatest comfort, to be present to them.Do not fake understanding—they will recognize this dishonesty and no longer trust you. Truly, no one can understand what another is feeling.How Do I Listen?With Patience, Persistence and Practice!Steps to remember as you meet with congregants:Ask yourself—what is my role/ purpose here?Remember—I have been called to witness and observe. Keep your heart, eyes and ears open.Keep your eyes open to what is happening right now—witness the suffering, body language, and choice of words.Ask yourself; do they feel abandoned by God? Do not immediately assure them that they have not been abandoned; that is no comfort to them in this moment. They feel alone in their pain. But YOU have not abandoned them.Listen to the pain. Acknowledge what they say they feel. “You feel that God has abandoned you.” Let them speak to this.Be open to hearing their suffering and complaining. We must see the wounds so that we may know what is open for healing.To the degree we cannot see our own wounds, we cannot see that in others. Whose needs am I trying to help? The congregants, not yours.When you hear, “Why is this happening to me?”… this is a questing, searching…unanswerable request. Suggest a prayer of guidance for their questing; be honest, reflecting the congregant’s feelings.Role Play ListeningPractice listening in pairs, one individual sharing and the other maintaining active listening skills and silence. Switch rolls after 5 minutes. Return to group and share observations and challenges. Review materials and highlight areas to strengthen with patience, practice and persistence!Confidentiality Unity of San Antonio (pg E8-E9)The integrity of our Prayer Chaplain program is based upon confidentiality. Praying with another person is a precious honor that requires a sacred trust from both parties. Here are some points to remember to help you maintain the integrity of the program . . .To begin, one definition of confidentiality that speaks clearly to the role of a Prayer Chaplain is: ‘Having another's trust or confidence; Entrusted with secrets or private affairs’ With this as the foundation from which you express, use the following as guide posts as you hold another in prayer:If you need to debrief after a call or prayer exchangeDo so only with a fellow prayer chaplain or minister.Do not use the person’s name (except in extreme cases mentioned below). Remember, it is exceptionally easy to unknowingly breach confidentiality.Always obtain permission to notify the minister about someone’s circumstancesAlways ask first. We can’t assume they will automatically want the church to know they are facing a particular challenge.Confidentiality is important even with answered prayersThe temptation is to feel free to announce that someone’s prayer has been answered (new jobs, pregnancy, life partner, and so forth).As much as we may wish to celebrate the good news, it is not appropriate to do so publicly (with or without a name) unless we have permission.When leaving prayer intentions, use only the person’s first nameAllow the Sunday morning prayer time to be “stand alone” events Once you have offered a prayer, release it.Should you see the person at a later date, do not ask about how they are progressing with the prayer intention.Maintain spiritual confidence in the person’s Divine Identity.Also, prayer service is not a time to make casual conversation or to build friendships.If you overhear someone else’s prayer exchange, ignore it.Confidentiality applies to our Prayer Chaplain Team, too! Our Prayer Chaplain Team has become a spiritual family of support.If another prayer chaplain shares something personal about their life with you or asks for your prayer support, do not assume it is okay to share the details with another prayer chaplain.Always obtain permission before sharing such private information.This applies to any personal information shared within the context of the prayer chaplain training, too.What is said in the training stays in the training.If you are ever in doubt, just ask.Adapted from Unity Church of Overland Park Prayer Chaplain training materials.Confidentiality BreachesIn Prayer Chaplain ministry we must adhere to absolute boundaries of confidentiality. Confidentiality means, plain and simple, “what is said here, stays here!” This is easier said than done. A breach in confidentiality can happen unintentionally, which means we must be vigilant to think before sharing, especially in our spiritual community.An example of an unintentional breach in confidentiality: One month you call a church member who asks you to pray with her about an issue with her spouse or partner. You pray with her. When you next see this person at church or when you call next month, in a spirit of caring you ask, “How are things going with your spouse/partner?”A congregant once asked the prayer chaplain to pray upholding her husband prayer intention for employment. Weeks later a prayer chaplain making a wellness call to the husband asked him, “How is your job search going?” He felt uncomfortable because he had not spoken to the prayer chaplain about his job search, had not asked for prayer support about it, and now was wondering why his wife was telling his story to others!Undoubtedly, the prayer chaplain’s intention was to be supportive, but the prayer chaplain was out of line, out of integrity with the demand of confidentiality. For a prayer chaplain, the rule is: once prayed about, it is finished unless the person you prayed with approaches you again about the matter.If you ever feel concerned that you may have unintentionally breached confidentiality, please speak with your prayer chaplain team leaders and/or your minister that we might together consider whether some action on our part would be necessary.Mandatory ReportingOn rare occasions, a prayer chaplain will be required to tell someone else about a situation brought to their attention by a person seeking prayer support. By law, any person with “cause to believe that a child’s physical or mental health of welfare has been adversely affected by abuse or neglect” must report to local law enforcement authorities. You must report such information to your minister immediately. Also, if someone expresses an intention to harm himself or someone else, you must report this information to your minister immediately.Refer to the reference section for legal directives. Protecting Privacy for Prayer Chaplains and CongregantsWhen making our assigned regular prayer contacts, it is important to protect personal information. Safety guidelines depend on the type of prayer contact being made.If you are making telephone calls from the church phone, follow your church’s security system and precautions.If the calls are being made from the Prayer Chaplain’s home:Make the calls in a private room, with no audible disturbance from other people, phones, TV, etc.Press *67, then dial the person’s phone number. This will block your caller ID.If there is no answer, leave a general prayer on the answering machine.If congregant needs prayer between monthly calls, let them know they can call the church and ask that you be notified.If the congregant has requested personal email prayer:Confirm the email address the congregant would like you to use for prayer support.Let the congregant know you will be contacting them by email on a monthly basis, and if they need prayer in the meantime, they can call the church office, and you will be notified.Set up a separate email account for yourself to use for this purpose. Do not give this address to anyone else who may have access to your computer. Generate a monthly email to the congregant asking how you may support them in prayer. When they respond with a prayer request, reply with the appropriate prayer. If there is no response, you may want to send them a general affirmative prayer.If your church has a dedicated email address for the prayer chaplains, do not use it for personal prayer because the requests are confidential, and anyone logging on to the chaplain email can see them.If the congregant has requested monthly inspirational email only:Verify email addressIf your church has a dedicated email address for the prayer chaplains, send a group prayer from that address. If not, create a separate email address for yourself as noted above.Send the message with BCC.If you are holding people in daily prayer, call them at the initiation of the prayer connection term to let them know who you are, and that they can reach you through the church any time a call or email is requested. Make the call or email using the guidelines noted above for calls and personal emails.Five Phases of Prayer Unity of San Antonio (pg C-2)RELAXATION – Release physical and mental tensionEmphasize breathing and becoming present. Drop your focus to your heart.Become centered in the awareness of Divine Nature (God). Listen with openness to the prayer intention.CONCENTRATION – Gentle focusing of the mindRecognize a particular aspect of Divine Nature relevant to the prayer intention (perhaps one of the twelve powers.)Describe Divine Nature and our Divine Identity as it relates to the prayer intention.MEDITATION – Contact with the SilenceReflect on the person’s Divine Capacity in this situation.Remind the other of how they are empowered based upon their Divine Identity/Capacity.REALIZATION - Deep inner knowing of Truth and that our prayers are answeredState again the truth of Divine Nature and our Divine IdentityNow that we KNOW the person’s Divine Capacity, how might they demonstrate it? What particularly might they do differently knowing their Divine Identity?APPRECIATION - Being grateful before the answer appears in the manifest world Describe what we feel appreciative about – begin with words such as “we feel grateful to know….” or “we celebrate the Truth of …”End with “Amen” or “And so it is”Affirmative PrayerPractice Affirmative PrayerCopyrighted material from How to Pray Without Talking to Godby Linda Martella-WhitsettIdentify Qualities of BeingShare in your group a present-moment circumstance about which you would like prayer support. An example: my brother is hospitalized with internal injuries from a car accident. As a group, working with one circumstance at a time, discuss the qualities of being possible for theperson who shared. If the circumstance involved a third person or persons, discuss qualities of being for them as well. In this example: I (the person praying) can be Divine Strength knowing that fluctuations in my brother’s condition are not a true report of his uninterruptible life. My brother can be Divine Will, willing to draw one breath at a time in support of his well-being.Discuss Affirmative PrayerAfter each person names a present-moment circumstance about which to pray, discuss: What do we know about Divine Nature related to this circumstance?Which of the Twelve Powers or Spiritual Capacities are relevant and can be claimed in this circumstance?Knowing Divine Nature and our Divine Identity in this circumstance, what is the highest truth we can know and live?Affirmative prayer does not involve begging a distant God to change ourselves, other people, or our circumstances. Affirmative prayer cultivates our awareness of Oneness, the One Power and Presence, Divine Mind; identifies Divine Nature (GOD) as our True Nature; and reveals the highest truth we can comprehend in the moment. We pray,therefore, acknowledging Divine Nature, claiming our Divine Identity, and realizing truth.Linda Martella-Whitsett, How to Pray Without Talking to God, Page 36 Explore the Law of Attraction in PrayerPage 133 of How to Pray Without Talking to God, explains: “When bad things happen, we can assume that our innate yearning to experience wholeness is the magnet.” Most people equate God with Love, which is the magnetizing, harmonizing, and unifying power. Explore this idea as the highest possible expression of the Law of Attraction. Learn the skill of praying with others affirmatively Praying with others affirmatively is a learned skill. With practice, you canstand with others as the Light of the World, illuminating the magnificent Truth of One Power -- which means you call forth the power of One within you and the other person. By your Oneness consciousness and your words arising from Oneness consciousness, you stand undauntedby the circumstances; clear about your Divine Identity and the Divine Identity of the person you are praying with; and intend that you both live accordingly. For many people trained in supplicatory prayer, principles underlying affirmative prayer can seem contrary and maybe evenpointless. However, reading as far as you have in How to Pray Without Talking to God, chances are you have experienced the power in claiming your Divine Identity, through prayer. Discuss the meaning of these principles regarding praying with others: Do not think about prayer as a request. When asked to pray about someone’s circumstance, think of the requester’s intention— and name it a prayer intention. (Page 148) When you discern the underlying intention you can speak of the person’s Divine Identity, encouraging them to live into their Divine Capacities.Do not plead for a condition to be fixed. Direct attention not to the transient condition but to the unending truth about the individual. (Page 149) Instead of focusing on changing conditions, feeling hopeful one moment and then despairing the next, you can emphasize aspects of Divine Nature true here and now. Right now, Divine Life is streaming in full force, every cell of the body pulsing with Life. All Divine Power that has ever been, is now. Something wonderful is happening in this moment--God, Good!Do not predict an outcome. Instead, focus on the ever-present divine powers within the individual. (Page 149) emphasize the aspects of the person’s Divine Identity. Emphasizing their enduring spiritual strengths uplifts them--and you, allowing for you both to live accordingly.Practice praying aloud with others Pray with someone else practicing the five phases of prayer described in How to Pray Without Talking to God pages 151-152 . Select someone elsein your study circle with whom to exchange prayer support. In turn, state your prayer intention. Devote some time to writing the words you would speak, in the order of the five phases of prayer.In your prayer with another person, in a consciousness of Oneness, you penetrate the perceived borders of a personal self. There is no you and me. You extend this realized consciousness to the other person. You know truth for her at a time that she may not realize it for herself. Linda Martella-WhitsettSample Affirmative PrayersFrom Teach Us to Prayby Charles and Cora FillmoreThe Truth when experiencing colds or fluSpirit is not subject to heat or cold. I am Spirit. I am the positive force of Being, and I put out of my consciousness all negative thoughts. I do not believe in the thing called a cold, nor do I admit for a moment that it has any power over me. I am Spirit, free-flowing life, and my circulation is equalized in God.The Truth when experiencing digestive distressMy understanding is established in Spirit. I know the relation between mind and body, between thought and substance. I agree with what I eat, and what I eat agrees with me. I am at peace with all men and all things. Ido not resist or antagonize anybody or anything. My stomach is strong, wise, and energetic, and I always think and speak of it as in every way capable of doing the work given it to do. I do not impose upon my stomach by overloading it. I am guided by divine wisdom in eating and drinking, and I follow its dictates instead of the sense appetites. I am no longer anxious about what I shall eat or what I shall drink. I am not hurried or worried, but after each meal I rest from all the cares of life, and I give my stomach opportunity to do its perfect work under divine law.From How to Pray Without Talking to Godby Linda Martella-WhitsettThe Truth when separated in relationshipI recognize only One Life and One Divine Nature. My beloved and I exist within Oneness. I see that we cannot be separated in any way--not by time, distance, or emotion--and that the love we have shared cannot be lost. I remain kind in my thoughts, words, and actions. I bless my beloved’s highest intentions, and I live unafraid of the future. I appreciate the countless blessings I have been given in this relationship. I bless my beloved with peace and happiness. I choose peace and happiness for myself.The Truth in times of financial stressThe earth and all of life display Divine Abundance in every way. Everywhere I turn, I see plenty. I AM Divine Abundance in the flow of giving and receiving. Divine Abundance lacks nothing and has no concept of lack. Divine Abundance I AM cannot be without all that matters to me. Divine Abundance I AM cannot suffer from financial stress. I open my eyes tolook for evidence of Divine Abundance today. I notice coins on the sidewalk, kindness extended, and pleasant surprises, and I cultivate a consciousness of plenty. I express appreciation for every little good that comes my way. I bless each bill as it enters my home, and I bless each payment I make, appreciating the richness of this moment.The Truth when feeling threatened.In spiritual reality there is one, harmonious, unifying principle--GOD, Good. I turn my thoughts to GOD now, as I breathe harmonizing breaths. I call forth from within the unifying principle of Divine Love, of which I am made and which is my True Nature. Divine Love recognized no threat, no enemy, and nothing to fear. I refute the energy of fear, denying fear residence in my consciousness. In the presence of Divine Love, my thoughts become clarified. I breathe easily, trusting that I am capable of responding as GOD, as Good, to anything that arises in the world.The very cells of my body are happy knowing they can relax now.The Truth in circumstances of cancer.My life does not spring from my body. My life springs from the one and only Source of all life, which is Divine. Divine Life is whole and intact. It cannot be interrupted by human circumstance or harmed by invasion. Divine Life is my life. I deny the thought of rogue cells in my body, as if something other than Divine Life could reside in me. I stand strong in spiritual authority, as one who has been sent into this darkness with a lamp. I turn on the light of Truth. I am whole and complete, right now. I am whole and complete and grateful for my expanding Divine awareness.Sacred Space“Be still and know that I am God”As Prayer Chaplains, another form of prayer we can use is to “hold sacred space,” which is simply to breathe deeply, become still, turn within to our heart space, and center ourselves in the Source of our Being—the One Power, One Presence in the Universe—God, the Good, the omnipotent.In this stillness of God’s presence, we know that all things are possible, and we are able to see past all appearances of lack or limitation, and recognize our own Divine Nature—our Oneness with God and with one another. In the silence of “sacred space,” we see as God sees…from a place of perfection and love. We hold this to be Truth; the Christ Light shines through the darkness; and we affirm that all is well.When we hold “sacred space” with another person, no words are necessary. In silence, we are already connected in the higher consciousness of God, and the energy of prayer abounds.“We are not to be too concerned with the appearances of in harmony, lack, and imperfection... These things are not real, and they will pass away quickly as Truth takes hold in the consciousness. We are to remember that the Light shines in the darkness…and man’s mind opens to the Light…”Myrtle FillmoreHow to Let God Help You“I am surrounded by the pure White Light of the Christ, into which nothing negative can penetrate and out of which only good can come.”Myrtle FillmorePraying with OthersFrom Heart Centered Metaphysics by Paul Hasselbeck, pp. 84-85Summary StatementsWe do not pray to God, or Divine Mind. We pray from a consciousness of Oneness.Our goal in any challenging circumstance is to raise our consciousness to Christ Consciousness.The power of praying with others is a reality because of the one Christ Mind that indwells the consciousness of all humankind.When we are in complete alignment with Spiritual Truths, we often experience an immediate manifestation that seems miraculous.Miracles do not exist, if by miracles we mean that there is some Divine Intervention supplanting natural law. Seeming miracles are the result of Divine Ideas, Principles and Laws of which we are not yet aware.We must become still and recognize that “indwelling Oneness, Divine Mind,” is in charge, and release all anxious thoughts about the one with whom we are praying so we can the Truth for that individual.Even if they appear the same, each health challenge is unique because the cause in consciousness differs. While no two cases are the same, Principle of Life expressing wholeness and health remains the same.We must not be insistent upon particular results for an individual. Each person chooses a unique path to spiritual unfoldment, and therefore, human resistance to Divine Truth may be present.Persistence on the part of metaphysicians calls for prayer continuing until the walls of resistance are penetrated and realization occurs.No effort is ever wasted because prayers quicken the expression of Life, whether we see results in the physical or not.We chose to see only perfection (life) regardless of outer ics for Discussion:How can we know the Truth for another in spite of appearances to the contrary?What is meant by a miracle healing?Why do we pray from and not to God?Thoughts for Reflection and MeditationOne who prays for the health of another should understand that it is not the fault of the healing principle that his patient is not instantly restored. The fault may be in his own lack of persistency or understanding; or it may be due to the patient’s dogged clinging to discordant thoughts. In any case the one who prays must persist in this prayer until the walls of resistance are broken down and the healing currents are tuned in. In treating others see patients as perfect.”(Charles Fillmore, Dynamics for Living: A Topical Compilation of Essential Fillmore Teachings, Unity House, Unity Village, Mo., p. 65Reminders when Praying with Others Unity of San Antonio (pg C 9)Longer is not better. The most effective prayer is concise, clear, and empowering. Create a memorable affirmation and image of how to live from our Divine Identity.It is not your job to heal. Healing occurs naturally, from within, as each person comes into unity consciousness.Listen for the person’s spiritual issue. Engage in active listening for feedback about your assumptions, so that you avoid reaching conclusions based upon your own past experience.Unity of Ames, p. 85-87Silence“Be still and know that I am God”Psalms 46:10.It is said that the average person has 60,000 separate thoughts. We have to make a great effort to create a space of silence between one thought and the next. Only in the silence we experience the peace of God. Being still means entering into the silence.If we observe nature we will see that all its activities happen in the silence. As such it is in the silence that we experience connection to God, that we enjoy that peace that stems forth from inside of us because it is always present. When we go into silence we become one with the inexhaustible source of all good, with peace itself, with God.In the silence we find the strength that our body needs. In the silence there is light for our sad mind, there is love for the lonely spirit. To enter it we have to silence our thoughts, anxiety, doubt, fear and know that God speaks in the silence.The silence is a sacred place of stillness and peace. It is not far from you, it is where you are. It is where you are each time you close the doors to the senses, calm the business of your thoughts, and you go to God.THE PURPOSEMany people believe that the purpose of silence is to have visions or see color lights. These is a fantasy that only distracts the person from the true purpose, which is to become conscious of God, become still and wait on God, feeling its Presence.Our intellect is always busy and “the first step of scientific silence is to quiet those outer intellectual thoughts so that the consciousness can surrender to the Spirit in us” (Teach Us to Pray. Charles y Cora Fillmore)In this purpose of stillness we also include that listening to the still small voice, expands our consciousness to that place where the source of life and substance is infinite and through that experience we progress to the process of revelation and illumination.The practice of silence Deepening the awareness of God“It has been thought that silence is the most important theme that Unity teaches. It is a teaching and an inner learning experience. It is simple yet at the same time the most advanced teaching. Even though we sometimes refer to it as prayer, it is more an internal attitude of attention or the place where we abide while we are in meditation. It is the means through in which and throughwhich spirit expresses. It is creative and it is the road to spiritual achievement.” (Metaphysics 1 Unity Institute).What is and not is the silence?Silence is the consistent directing of your attention to your inner self, relaxing your body and directing your mind to the stillness within. It is a sacred time of devotion, joy, gratitude and peace within the depths of your being.It is not an altered state of consciousness; it is not an escape, nor self hypnosis nor prayer.“Silence is a place of retreat where we can enter and know. It is a place of inner stillness where we receive divine revelations and we discover eternal truths about God and about ourselves.” (Metaphysics 1. Unity Institute)Silence is a place of understanding when we go within and see with our inner eye. The basis of silence is to recognize God as the only Presence.STEPS TO SILENCE- Relaxation -“To become still you have to relax your body and quiet your mind. Center your attention within. There is a tranquil place within all of us and through the repetition of “Peace, be still” we come into the tranquil space and a great stillness will invade all our being” (C. Fillmore, JCH)Get comfortable. You may sit on a chair outside or in your favorite place in your house or anywhere where there is a quiet environment. Observe your breath and begin getting still, letting go of all thoughts. Remember you cannot struggle to get to God, you can only let go and let God do the rest.- ConcentrationThink of what is pure and sacred, placing all your attention in one thought such as “Be still and know that I am God” (Sal. 46:10). Repeat again and again allowing it to be the only thought in your mind. As you reflect in this idea, it will become part of your consciousness. Say this silently this until you feel the stillness with your entire mind and all your being.- Meditation“The constant and contemplative thought; the being mentally in the nothingness; realizing the reality of the absolute; are the constant effort of the mind to know God”. (RW)Meditation is a moment of total receptivity to the spirit of God. When you begin meditating, leave apart your emotions and any other preconceived idea about the result of the experience andopen your mind and heart to the spirit of God in you. Surrender your thoughts to the peace in you and around you as you go into a deeper consciousness of the Presence of God.- Silence - Realization- Feeling“The purpose of silence is to still the individual thinking activity so that the still and small voice of God may be heard, because in the silence, Spirit speaks the Truth to us and precisely the Truth that we need.”(C. y C. Fillmore TUTP)“Compared to the auditory language, we can say that the communication in the mind has no sound. It is the “Still small voice” the voice that is not a voice, the one that uses words that are not words. However, its language is more defined than the words than that of the words and sounds, because it has no limitations.” (C. Fillmore. JCH)- Thanksgiving“An attitude of gratitude opens the way to the accomplishment of your desires, because gratitude is the action both of faith and of love; faith perceives that our good is waiting for us to claim it and that love unites us with good that we yearn to manifest in mind, body and affairs.” (Foundations of Unity, series Two, Vol. Two /104)AFFIRMATIONS THAT YOU CAN USE TO GO INTO SILENCEI AM THE LIGHT OF THE WORLD. I HAVE DIVINE INTELLIGENCE.I SEE WITH THE EYES OF THE SPIIRIT OF GOD. I AM FREE AND UNLIMITED.I AM THE PERFECT EXPRESSION OF THE LOVE OF GOD. I LIVE ENTIRELY IN THE CHRIST.I WALK ON PATHS OF RIGHTNESS AND PEACE. I REST IN GOD.I MOVE, EXIST AND HAVE MY BEING IN GOD. GOD IS, I AM.PEACE, BE STILL.I AM THE CHRIST. I LIVE IN GODCommon Reactions & Prayerful ResponsesThis section is designed to help Prayer Chaplains when a particular prayer request evokes a common human “reaction” internally for the Prayer Chaplain.Examples:When a congregant is asking for help beyond prayer, i.e. “what do you think I should do?”When the prayer request hits “close to home” and triggers an emotional surge for the Prayer Chaplain When an “emergency situation” signals danger to the congregant or to another personWhen someone describes a particular life challenge, common first reactions are often to try and “fix it” or offer solutions, suggestions, share a similar experience, or to “counsel” the congregant. The Prayer Chaplain role is NOT any of these things. We are Prayer Chaplains…we are present simply to hold sacred space and to pray.In the case of an “emergency,” the role of the Prayer Chaplain is to first respond with prayer, and then seek assistance according to your church’s protocol.When such a prayer request comes to you… breathe, release yourself from the “reaction,” know that God is active and present in every situation, then lovingly respond with affirmative prayer.Prayer Practice.How can you help yourself after the prayer?If the request has generated emotional feelings for you:Remind yourself to release what you have heard to GodRemember you don’t know the whole storyDebrief by sharing your feelings (but not the content) about the experience with your Prayer Chaplain CoordinatorAsk a fellow Prayer Chaplain to pray with you about your feelingsCall Silent UnityMinstry SpecificEmergencies: Crisis Intervention, Abuse and moreAdapted from Unity of San AntonioEmergenciesIt is not likely that you will encounter emergency situations, but it may ease your mind to have a plan in case you do.The References section of this manual contain the latest public listings for Community & Human Services.On rare occasions, you may find that a congregant with whom you are praying shares the specifics of a challenge they are experiencing. The various agencies and contact information shown can be shared if they are applicable to the facts provided by the congregant.In addition, you may suggest they call: 2-1-1Texas United Way confidential help line or online at inserting their zip code on the website home page, the congregant will be provided with referrals and contact information for issues such as food, clothing, healthcare, financial assistance, counseling, abuse, and more. Keep this information close at hand at any time you are in service as a Prayer Chaplain.Child AbuseAccording to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, child abuse is defined as:“. . . any act or series of acts of commission or omission by a parent or other caregiver that results in harm, potential for harm, or threat of harm to a child.”There is a standard of reporting suspected or actual child abuse to the proper authorities according to the statutes and guidelines in place:Should you suspect or become aware of child abuse through your service as a Prayer Chaplain, contact the minister immediately with your concerns.Other Issues of AbuseChild abuse is not the only form of abuse that may require reporting to local authorities. Should you suspect or become aware of elder abuse, domestic abuse, or sexual abuse, contact the minister immediately with your concerns.Issues of SuicideA person who is thinking about suicide . . .If you encounter a person who is speaking to you about desiring to end their life, but you do not sense any immediate possibility that they will act, you should consider the following:?Offer them the crisis hotline number on the Resource List. You can say something like:“I would like you to have the crisis hotline number so if you feel this way again, you can speak with someone who will listen.”Ask them if they would like the church minister to call them. You could offer:“I’d like to suggest that our minister contact you. I can take care of that tomorrow. Is that is okay with you?”A person who has thought about suicide and has a plan . . .If you encounter a person who is more directly contemplating suicide and you believe they have a desire to end their life and the means to do so, then you should consider the following:If the emergency does not seem imminent, you may offer the crisis hotline number from the Resource List. You might say something like,“I’d like to give you the Crisis Hotline number. They can help you through this.”Also, offer to have someone from the church call them.“I am going to have someone from the church contact you tomorrow. Is that okay with you?”If you feel the person is at risk of injuring themselves soon, you need to call 911.Do not hesitate to take this action if it feels appropriate.You would not hesitate to do so on behalf of a good friend, so do not hesitate here.If you feel an emergency is imminent . . .Contact your minister at your church office:If it is after hours, contact your minister or other designated personsIt is important to always have emergency contact information easily accessible!Adapted from Unity Church of Overland Park Prayer Chaplain training materialsPrayer Practice for Emergencies Unity of Ames (p. 62-64)Prayer 1I would like to pray for my Grandmother’s health, she can’t walk and spends most of the time in bed, sometimes she gets very aggressive and I have to slap her. It hurts me to do so because I love her very much, but is the only way she calms down. I want her to walk again.Prayer 2I would like to pray for my cat, I got angry last night and kicked her, I think I broke her leg because she is limping from that side. I want her to get better.Prayer 3I would like to pray for my marriage. Lately… Things are not going well. My husband is demanding more intimacy. The other night I was not in the mood and told him I did not want him and he got very aggressive, to the point that he hit me and forced me to do it against my will. I want him to change his behavior so we can be happy like before.Prayer 4I would like to pray for my transformation. I feel very attracted to my stepdaughter. She is ten years old but she looks like a young woman. I know she likes me too ‘cause the other day she was taking a shower and let the bathroom’s door open for me. I passed by and couldn’t control my instincts and touched her body and asked her to play with me. I could not stop thinking about it and keep going after her every time. I want to pray for another chance! I love my wife and wouldn’t like to hurt her. Life’s TransitionsUnity of San Antonio ( pg E 14-16 ) “Change and Grief”Adapted in part from Unity Church of Overland Park Prayer Chaplain Training materials.Based upon ‘Pastoral Studies’ by Rev. Robert Brumet, Unity Institute, February 2008ChangeChange happens all the time. From the moment one is born, change becomes a constant in the life experience. Change will always involve the process of saying ‘good-bye’ to someoneor something. Everyday changes in life can found in:RelationshipsCareerFinancesPhysical IllnessReligious and Spiritual BeliefsAnd more . . .The key to moving forward: AwarenessWhen we are aware of change and aware of our feelings of loss, grief, and sadness, we have already taken the first step that will move us forward. As Prayer Chaplains, understanding the grief process will help you be more compassionate to people going through it. Phases of Grief (a natural response to change)Shock, Numbness, Denial (possibly)We don’t always want to believe that what has happened is true.Denial, disbelief, and becoming numb help protect us from the pain until we’re ready to move through it.The psyche says, ‘I can’t take this all in right now.’Anger, Regret, GuiltThe anger is often directed at oneself.It can also be directed at God; this is key for a Prayer Chaplain to know.We can sometimes feel abandoned by someone who is no longer with us.BargainingSome acceptance of the situation may have taken place, but complete ‘letting go’ has not occurred.Someone may say, “If I can just have one more Christmas with him/ her . . .”Or, if someone has passed on, “Well, at least they’re in heaven now.” They are not yet allowing themselves to feel their sorrow.Sadness, EmptinessThere are no more denials, ‘should have’s’, and such. There is simply sadness.Prolonged periods of sadness may lead to depression.Acceptance, RecoveryThis is the final stage.We return to our usual lifestyle.We have integrated and embraced the experience in our lives.It does not necessarily mean all the pain is gone, or that the lost person/place/thing is no longer missed.It is recognition that life can be fully lived in the present again.We experience peace.Some Facts About GriefThe length and depth of grief is a function of the degree of emotional attachment to someone or something rather than the objective import of the loss.The time needed for grief processing will vary with each individual and with each circumstance. There is no ‘objective’ measure for how long grief should last.The form that grieving takes also varies greatly from person to person.Factors include personal temperament, gender, age, culture, environment, and nature of the loss.It is important to allow each person to fully experience their grief in their own way and in their own time.Grief is the process by which we heal our losses. Grief is an inevitable part of human lifeIndeed every change is a type of death, a death to an old way of living or being. Yet, ironically, change--a dying to the old--is one of the definingcharacteristics of growth. to live is to grow; to grow is to change; to change is to die to the old.” Robert Brumet (Finding YourSelf in Transition)Unity of Ames, (p.46-52) Corinthians 1:3-4Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.What is grief?Grief is a natural human reaction to loss.Grief is normal during major life changes.Grief allows us to adjust to these changes and adapt to a new life.Grief is a process that is unique and individual.Grief is a necessary process that helps an individual adjust to a loss.Grief is a normal reaction to the loss of a significant someone or something in your life.There are no written scripts for how to grieve or for how long to grieve.Each person grieves in his or her unique way at his or her own pace.Grief is a multi-faceted response to loss that includes feelings, behaviors, thoughts, social and spiritual dimensionsGrief is not an emotion, but a process with a host of emotions.Anticipatory grief refers to a grief reaction that occurs in anticipation of an impending lossGrief is not a lack of faith! (The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit -- Psalm 34:18)What causes grief?Any change of circumstance of any kind or change from one state to another, such as:Death of a loved oneLoss of a relationshipLoss of health and vitality/major illnessLoss of identity (such as inability to have children)Loss of a job/employmentLoss of any material attachmentsLoss of ideals, dreams and hopesLoss of a chosen lifestyleLoss of security, safety, orderWhy do we grieve/suffer?Because we are humanThe Four Noble Truths of Buddhism speak of human sufferingAccording to Buddhism, birth is suffering; decay is suffering; death is suffering; sorrow, lamentation, pain and enlightenment, according to the Buddha, is to alleviate the suffering of those grief are suffering; not getting what one wants is suffering.We cease to suffer when we reach enlightenment, and the purpose of who remain in bondage to that human suffering.We are therefore called to minister to one another and alleviate suffering in the human condition through compassion.Jack Kornfield, in his book The Art of Forgiveness, Lovingkindness and Peace, states, “Grief is one of the heart’s natural responses to loss.” He goes on to say:“When we grieve, we allow ourselves to feel the truth of our pain, the measure of betrayal or tragedy in our life. By our willingness to mourn, we slowly acknowledge, integrate and accept the truth of our losses. Sometimes the best way to let go is to grieve.”How does grief affect people?People who are grieving may:Cry a lotBlame othersBlame themselvesHave upset stomachs or headachesHave trouble sleeping and eatingHave little or no energy required by daily tasksFind that grief goes on longer than anticipatedDevelop unique ways of grievingFeel grief as a constant companionFeelings Often Experienced While Grieving:SadnessIs the most common reactionIs exhibited sometimes by cryingAngerIs frequently feltCan be one of the most confusing feelings experiencedCan lead to complicated grief if it is not acknowledgedComes from two sources:A sense of frustration that the death was not preventedA regressive or more child-like reaction to being abandonedCan result in the mourner sometimes blaming another person for the death to make sense of his or her loss or to validate that it could have been prevented.Can cause depression or even suicidal feelings when turned inwardGuiltIs often associated with something that happened or something that was neglected around the time of the deathAnxietyCan be intense; the more intense and persistent the anxiety, the more outside help is needed to process the grief reactionComes from:Fear of being unable to care for oneselfAwareness of one’s own mortalityFatigueSeen and experienced often as apathy and listlessnessShockCan occur both with sudden and with anticipated deathsReliefIs common when the deceased suffered before the deathCan lead to guiltNumbnessOccurs often, shortly after the deathOther feelingsLonelinessHelplessnessYearning for the lost personPhysical Sensations Often Experienced While GrievingAn empty feeling in the stomachLoss of appetiteTightness in chest or throatFatigue, insomniaOver-sensitivity to noiseHeavy and repeated sighingLack of muscle powerIrritabilityTearfulnessShortness of breathDry mouthThoughts Often Experienced While Grieving DisbeliefIs a typical reaction when first learning of the death of a loved oneIs a sense of depersonalization (nothing seems real)ConfusionResults in difficulty concentrating, forgetfulnessResults in inability to organize your thoughtsPreoccupationIs manifested in constant thoughts of the deceased and/or how to get the deceased person backHallucinations (Sensing the presence of the deceased)Can be visualCan be auditoryTypical Behaviors Experienced While GrievingSleep disturbancesAppetite changesAbsent-minded behaviorSocial withdrawalDreaming of the deceasedAvoiding reminders of the deceasedSearching for and calling out for the deceasedSighingRestless over-activityCryingVisiting places or carrying remembrances of the deceasedTreasuring items that belonged to the deceased?Stages of GriefPsalm 71: 20-21Though you have made me see troubles, many and bitter, you will restore my life again; from the depths of the earth you will again bring me up. You will increase my honor and comfort me once again.Elizabeth Kubler-Ross’ s 5 -Stages of Grief:DenialAngerBargainingDepressionAcceptanceOther models:In her book The Courage to Grieve, Judy Tatelbaum outlines three stages that the bereaved typically go through during their grief process. Many experts have written how the bereaved tend to cycle in and out of these phases several times during their grief journey.Stage One: Shock and DisbeliefStage Two: Suffering and DisorganizationStage Three: Aftershock and ReorganizationWilliam Worden, Ph.D. and grief therapist speaks of four tasks of mourning. He believes that if mourning is not complete, growth and development cannot take place and lifetime complications could develop. The four stages are:To Accept the Reality of the LossEven when death is expected, there is still a feeling that it didn’t happen.This task involves recognizing that the person is dead and will not return.Death must be accepted on both an intellectual and emotional level.To Work Through to the Pain of GriefThe intensity of the pain and the way it is experienced and expressed is different for everyone.It is impossible not to experience some amount of pain when someone very close dies.Friends and family sometimes are uncomfortable with the mourner’s pain and may try to interrupt this task.No matter how successful a mourner is in avoiding the pain, it eventually will come back again, maybe in the form of depression or when a new loss is experienced.To Adjust to an Environment in Which the Deceased is MissingAdjusting to the new environment is dependent upon what the relationship was and what role the deceased played in the relationship.During this task, grief work focuses on coming to terms with living alone, raising children alone, facing an empty house, managing home maintenance and finances, and caring completely for oneself.It is during this task that the bereaved tries to make sense of the loss and tries to regain some sense of control over his or her life.?To Emotionally Relocate the Deceased and Move on With LifeFor many, this task is the most difficult to complete.During this task, the bereaved often finds the ability to invest emotionally in someone or something else.The deceased is not forgotten, nor are the memories that were shared, but instead, the bereaved finds enjoyment in life again.The mourner is not the same person he or she was, and he or she never will be the same again. With time and grieving, however, the pain will lessen, and the mourner redefines himself or herself.Matthew 11:25-30Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.How should you respond to grief? Matthew 5:4Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.What to Do:What not to Do:Say littleAvoid platitudesAllow the person to talk, cryDon’t block their tearsBe a good listenerDon’t be afraidComfort themDon’t say you understandAsk how you can helpDon’t say “it’s God’s will”Relax and be yourselfDon’t fill empty spacesAllow for pauses and sobsDon’t interruptFeel your own feelingsDon’t judge Exercise compassionBreatheHold their handWhat to Say:What Not to Say:I’m sorryI understand how you feelI’m sad for youDeath was a blessingHow are you doing with all this?It all happened for the bestWhat can I do for you?You’re still youngI’m here and I want to listenYou have your whole life aheadPlease tell me what you are feelingEverything will be all rightYou must be really hurtingBe strong!Take all the time you needIt’s time to put it behind you Thank you for sharing your feelings with meLet the tears flow:T: To accept the reality of the loss E: Experience the pain of the lossA: Adjust to the new environment without the lost object R: Reinvest in a new reality Continued TrainingUnity Twelve Powers Self Care12 POWERS Summary Unity of San Antonio (pg. D2-16)Quoted from Unity Basics by Rev. Mary Omwake. Affirmations added by Rev. Linda Martella-WhitsettLove: Love is that attracting, harmonizing, unifying faculty of mind; it is the constructive building force of Spirit. It is our power to comprehend oneness. Spiritual love is the total, unconditional acceptance of everyone and everything.Affirmation: I am one with everyone and everything.Imagination: Imagination is our conceiving, picturing faculty. It is the formative power of mind which shapes thoughts into mental images which have color, variety, and dimension. The highest use of imagination is to shape thoughts into images which most fully reflect the nature ofthe original divine idea.Affirmation: I visualize the highest and best.Power: Power is that faculty that enables us to have authority over our thoughts and feelings. Our greatest creative power is generated by our realization of the power of God within us. Our spoken words are vehicles through which this power is manifested in our lives.Affirmation: I am master of my thoughts, feelings, and actions.Wisdom: Wisdom/Judgment is the faculty by which we appraise, evaluate, and discriminate in order to make correct decisions; our ability to maintain enlightened objectivity about our life and our world.Affirmation: I know the way to go.Understanding: Understanding is the faculty by which we receive enlightenment and insight. It is our capacity to gain direct perceptions of Truth. It is our faculty of spiritual intelligence.Affirmation: I see the Truth!Zeal (Enthusiasm): Zeal is the faculty of enthusiasm, intensity, and exuberance. It provides our inner urge to progress; it is our motivation to achieve. The highest expression of zeal is in an unflagging, fervent interest in knowing, speaking and doing good.Affirmation: I am passionate about my purpose.Elimination: Elimination is the faculty by which we release false beliefs and accomplish a mental cleansing. Elimination enables us to surrender to Spirit any thought that is not for our highest good so that transformation and purification of consciousness can take place.Affirmation: I release and let go of only-human perspective.Faith: Faith is our ability to perceive the reality of God’s kingdom of good, despite evidence to the contrary. It is the faculty of positive expectation and definite assurance that the power, presence, and promises of God are real here and now.Affirmation: I believe; therefore, I see.Life: Life is the faculty of movement, vitality, wholeness, and creativity. It is the expression of the pure, eternal life of God within us.Affirmation: I am ever-flowing, unending Divine Life.Order: Order is the faculty by which we establish harmony, balance, right adjustment, and right sequence of action in our lives. Order is the one underlying law of manifestation, and we must participate consciously in that process which enables growth with struggle.Affirmation: I AM Divine Order establishing perfect timing and orderly action.Will: Will is the decision-making, directing, choosing faculty of the mind. It is our capacity to say “yes” or “no” to opportunities and options. The highest expression of will is willingness, conscious consent to the will of God.Affirmation I Am Willing.Strength: Strength is the faculty of steadfastness, dependability, stability, and capacity for endurance. It is not merely a physical endowment, but a degree of spiritual awareness. It is not force, manipulation, or defensiveness. It is spiritual courage and confidence. Nonresistance is the highest expression of strength. Nonresistance does not mean non-action; it is an effective, calm, single-minded God centered attitude of mind.Affirmation: I am courageous, confident, stable, and centered.Love – power of attraction, harmony, and unityStrength – power of steadfastness, stability, and enduranceFaith – power of perception, expectation, and assuranceWisdom aka Judgment – power of discernment, discrimination, and evaluationPower – power of self-mastery, transformation, and confidence Elimination/ Renunciation – power of release, cleansing, and casting off Imagination – power of conception, creation, and visionUnderstanding – power of recognition, realization, and insight Will – power of determination, commitment, and willingness Order – power of adjustment, organization, and balanceZeal – power of enthusiasm, intensity, and inspirationLife – power of animation, vitality, and renewal12 Powers Individually DefinedUnity of San Antonio (pg D-2-16)FaithApostle: Peter (OT Abraham) Color: Med BlueLocation: Center of the brain Image: Mustard seed (rock, fire)left22860Definition:“Faith is our ability to perceive the reality of God’s kingdom of good, despite evidence to the contrary. It is the faculty of positive expectation and definite assurance that the power, presence and promises of God are real here and now.” (Unity Basics I, 4-5 through 4-8)“…the perceiving power of the mind linked with the power to shape substance.” (Fillmore, The Revealing Word)“…is spiritual assurance, the power to do the seemingly impossible.” (NT p39)Scripture:Heb 11:1 “Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.”StrengthApostle: Andrew Color: Light greenLocation: Loins (lower back) Image: oak tree Definition:“Strength is the faculty of steadfastness, dependability, stability, and capacity for endurance. It is not merely a physical endowment, but a degree of spiritual awareness. It is not force, manipulation, or defensiveness. It is spiritual courage and confidence. Nonresistance isthe highest expression of strength. Nonresistance does not mean nonaction; it is an effective, calm, single-minded God-centered attitude ofmind.” (Unity Basics I)“…the energy of God. Freedom from weakness; stability of character; power to withstand temptation; capacity to accomplish. Strength is physical, mental, and spiritual. All strength originates in Spirit, the thought and the word spiritually expressed being themanifestation.” (The Revealing Word, p.186)Scripture:Isaiah 30:15 “…In returning and rest you shall be saved; in quietness and in trust shall be your strength.”Eph 6:10 “Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his power.”Wisdom aka JudgmentApostle: James, son of Zebedee (Son of Thunder, along with John)Color: YellowLocation: Pit of stomach (solar plexus)Image: Sun, light (angels give us wisdom messages)Definition:“…the faculty by which we appraise, evaluate, and discriminate in order to make correct decisions. It is our ability to maintain enlightened objectivity about our life and our world.” (Unity Basics I)“Wisdom includes judgment, discrimination, intuition, and all the departments of mind that come under the head of knowing.” (Twelve Powers, p. 48)“Judgment—Mental act of evaluation through comparison or contrast.Spiritual discernment; the inner voice through whose expression wecome into a larger realization of ourselves.” (The Revealing Word, p. 113)Scripture:John 7:24 “Do not judge by appearances, but judge with right judgment.” John 8:15-16 “You judge by human standards; I judge no one. Yet even if I do judge, my judgment is valid; for it is not I alone who judge, but I and the Father who sent me.”LoveApostle: John (Son of Thunder w/ James) Color: PinkLocation: Back of heart Image: Heart, magnet Definition:“Love is that attracting, harmonizing, unifying faculty of mind; it is the constructive building force of Spirit. It is our power to comprehend oneness. Spiritual love is the total, unconditional acceptance of everyone and everything.” (Unity Basics I)“It is the pure essence of Being that binds together the whole human family.” (Twelve Powers p. 55)“In Divine Mind, love is the power that joins and binds in divine harmony the universe and everything in it; the great harmonizing principle known to man.” (The Revealing Word p. 124-125)“Love is an inner quality that sees good everywhere and in everybody. It insists that all is good, and by refusing to see anything but good it causes that quality finally to appear uppermost in itself, and in all things.” (The Revealing Word p.125)Scripture:John 17:21-23 “…that they may all be one. As you, Father, are in me and I am in you, may they also be in us, so that the world may believe that you have sent me. The glory that you have given me I have given them, so that they may be one, as we are one, I in them and you in me, that they may become completely one, so that the world may know that you have sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me.”PowerApostle: Philip Color: Purple19050394970Location: Root of tongue Image: Our words are powerfulDefinition“Power is that faculty that enables us to have authority over our thoughts and feelings. Our greatest creative power is generated by our realization of the power of God within us. Our spoken words are vehicles through which this power is manifested in our lives.” (Unity Basics I)“The mind and the body of man have the power of transforming energy from one plane of consciousness to another. This is the power and dominion implanted in man from the beginning.” (Twelve Powers, p. 63)“…Man’s innate control over his thoughts and feelings.” (The Revealing Word, p. 150)“Man is the power of God in action. To man is given the highest power in the universe, the conscious power of thought. There is a universal, creative force that urges man forward to the recognition of the creative power of his individual thought. This thought is elemental, and all its attributes come under the dominion of man. When he cooperates with Principle, man sits on the throne of his authority and the elemental force is subject to him.” (The Revealing Word, p.151)Scripture:Acts 1:8 “But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you;”Matthew 28:18 “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me.”ImaginationApostle: Bartholomew Color: Light Blue Location: Between the eyes Image: Anything you can imagine76200107315Definition:“Imagination is our conceiving, picturing faculty. It is the formative power of mind which shapes thoughts into mental images which have color, variety, and dimension. The highest use of imagination is to shape thoughts into images which most fully reflect the nature of the original divine idea.” (Unity Basics I)“…the faculty of mind that images and forms; the power to shape and form thought. With our imagination we lay hold of ideas and clothe them with substance.” (The Revealing Word, p. 104)“Imagination is the act or power of forming a mental image of something not present to the senses or never before wholly perceived in reality…a power that frees us from the limitations of our senses…the power of conception.” (New Thought for A New Millennium, p. 87 - James Dillet Freeman)“If we don’t like the conditions we are attracting, we can change them by building new images with the eye of the mind, our faculty of imagination.” (Your God-Given Potential, p.85)Scripture:Isaiah 65:17 “For I am about to create new heavens and a new earth…”Rev. 22:4-5 “…they will see his face, and his name will be on their foreheads. And there will be no more night; they need no light of lamp or sun, for the Lord God will be their light, and they will reign forever and ever.”UnderstandingApostle: ThomasColor: GoldLocation: Front of brainImage: Light bulb, Heart of gold; “inquiring minds want to know” Definition: “Understanding is the faculty by which we receive enlightenment and insight. It is our capacity to gain direct perceptions of Truth. It is our faculty of spiritual intelligence.” (Unity Basics I)“That in man which comprehends is understanding; it knows and comprehends in wisdom. Its comparisons are not made in the realm of form, but in the realm of ideas.” (The Revealing Word, p. 201)“Understanding is important in developing our spiritual nature, because it is the faculty which puts feet under our prayers and gives our spiritual activity something to stand on.” (Your God-Given Potential, p. 98)Scripture:Matt. 7:7-8! “Ask, and it will be given you; search, and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened for you. For everyone who asks receives, and everyone who searches finds, and for everyone who knocks, the door will be opened.”Daniel 10:12! “He said to me, ‘Do not fear, Daniel, for from the first day that you set your mind to gain understanding and to humble yourself before your God, your words have been heard, and I have come because of your words.”WillApostle: Matthew Color: SilverLocation: Center front of brain Image: Violin in tuneDefinition:“Will is the decision-making, directing, choosing faculty of the mind. It is our capacity to say “yes” or “no” to opportunities and options. The highest expression of will is willingness, conscious consent to the will of God.” (Unity Basics I)“The will is the executive faculty of the mind, the determining factor in man. What man wills or decrees comes to pass in his experience…The will is the center in mind and body around which revolve all the activities that constitute consciousness. It is the avenue through which the I AM expresses its potentiality.” (The Revealing Word, p. 209-210)Scripture:Job 22:28! “You will decide on a matter, and it will be established for you, and light will shine on your ways.”Luke 22:42! “Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me; yet, not my will but yours be done.”Apostle: James, Son of Alphaeus Color: Olive greenLocation: Navel Image: Cornfields7620096520Definition:Order “Order is the faculty by which we establish harmony, balance, right adjustment, and right sequence of action in our lives. Order is the one underlying law of manifestation, and we must participate consciously in that process which enables growth with struggle.” (Unity Basics I)“The divine idea of order is the idea of adjustment, and as this is established in man’s thought, his mind and affairs will be at one with the universal harmony.” (The Revealing Word, p. 143)“Humans have the choice to seek or not seek the kingdom. That choice is part of the divine order…We are charged to use this ability to think, reason, and choose wisely to establish an orderly growth for ourselves as God’s highest creations.” (Your God-Given Potential, p. 122)Scripture:Matt 6:26, 28-33! “Look at the birds of the air; they neither sow norreap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? … And why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not clothed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much moreclothe you—you of little faith? Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What will we eat?’ or ‘What will we drink?’ or ‘What will we wear?’ For it is the Gentiles who strive for all these things; and indeed your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But strive first for the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.”ZealApostle: Simon the Canaanite (the Zealot)Color: OrangeLocation: Back of head (medulla)Image: Candle flame, helium balloonDefinition;“Zeal is the faculty of enthusiasm, intensity, and exuberance. It provides our inner urge to progress; it is our motivation to achieve. The highest expression of zeal is an unflagging, fervent interest in knowing, speaking and doing good.” (Unity Basics I)“Intensity, ardor, enthusiasm; the inward fire of the soul that urges man onward, regardless of the intellectual mind of caution and conservatism. Zeal is the mighty force that incites the winds, the tides, the storms; it urges the planet on its course, and spurs the ant to greater exertion. It is the urge behind all things Zeal is the affirmative impulse of existence, itscommand is ‘Go Forward!’.” (The Revealing Word, p. 216 and The Twelve Powers…p. 130, 132)“Zeal is my God-given power for sustained, enthusiastic action to do the things that need to be done by me. Through enthusiasm and persistence I can solve any problem and overcome any obstacle.” (Super Powers of the Mind, p. 130)Scripture:Romans 12:11! “Do not lag in zeal, be ardent in spirit, serve the Lord.” Psalm 47:1! “Clap your hands, all you peoples;Shout to God with loud songs of joy.”Apostle: Thaddaeus Color: Russet (brown) Location: AbdomenImage: Eraser, faucet, waterfall Definition;Elimination“Elimination is the faculty by which we release false beliefs and accomplish a mental cleansing. Elimination enables us to surrender to Spirit any thought that is not for our highest good so that transformation and purification of consciousness can take place.” (Unity Basics I)“(Renunciation) A letting go of old thoughts in order that new thoughts may find place in consciousness.” (The Revealing Word, p. 167)“(Renunciation) is the power of cleansing, of giving up, of casting off. It is the power of giving and forgiving, and ultimately, it is the power of knowing true freedom and liberation.” (New Thought…, p. 189)Scripture;Genesis 19:17, 26! “…Flee for your life; do not look back or stop anywhere on the Plain; flee to the hills, or else you will be consumed…but Lot’s wife, behind him, looked back, and she became a pillar of salt.”Luke 9:23! “…If any want to become my followers, let them deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me.”Apostle: Judas Color: Red Location:Genitals Image: Fetus (potential)Definition:Life“Life is the faculty of movement, vitality, wholeness, and creativity. It is the expression of the pure, eternal life of God within us.” (Unity Basics I)“That expression of Being which manifests as animation, activity, vigor… Life is divine, spiritual, and its source is God, Spirit. The river of life is within man in his spiritual consciousness.” (The Revealing Word, p.121-122)“Life is the Holy Spirit (the whole spirit of God), active within me, renewing my body, mind, and spirit, through growth, transformation, and positive change.” (Super Powers of the Mind, p. 157)“Life is the animating, acting principle that activates the pure spiritual essence, the substance, and shapes it through our thoughts, words and actions. However, by itself, life is not truly intelligent; it needs directive power from the other eleven faculties.” (New Thought…, p. 155)Scripture:John 10:10! “…I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly.”John 4:14! “but those who drink of the water that I will give them will never be thirsty. The water that I will give will become I them a spring of water gushing up to eternal life.” Engage in the Spiritual Practice of Self-CareEnhance Your Life’s Journey as You Love Yourself FirstDr. Nancy M. Little, L.P.C., L.U.T. May, 2013Saying YES to the practice of self-care is an essential step on your spiritual journey! Before you can pray with or offer centered, loving service to another, you must first be nourished and “filled up” spiritually. You have little energy to give when you feel frazzled, overwhelmed, and depleted! Particularly for caregivers, the life-sustaining giving process must start at home!How many of us ignore our personal needs for balance, restoration, and self-nurturing? We often lose sight of the high cost of our inattention to and neglect of our spiritual requisites for rest and replenishment.Spiritual leaders, life coaches and doctors tell us that self-care activities, those respites from overwhelm and chronic stress, maximize our physical and emotional resources and create success in all aspects of our lives. It is imperative for us to learn ways to incorporate the intentional practice of self-care as demonstrated by Jesus, our teacher and way shower. Only then can we truly serve to inspire others. As leaders and role models within our spiritual communities, we set the tone for spiritually-aligned thoughts, feelings, and actions.I am wondering how many of us take care of the inanimate objects in our lives with the loving care and attention that we should be devoting to our own bodies. Have you ever purchased a new car and failed to follow the recommended maintenance procedures? Probably not! You understand the negative consequences that would occur if you made that ill-advised choice. Furthermore, you set your intention to keep your vehicle in top working order. That helps to ensure that you avoid expensive and unnecessary repairs! However, a lack of spiritual self-care can also result in system breakdowns. Well-timed respites and tune-ups work similarly to service maintenance for our vehicles. Self-nurturing keeps us running smoother, longer, and with fewer maintenance bills. Most doctors’ office visits result from the chaos and stress we create in our lives and could be avoided by cultivating supportive spiritual practices!I read a quote from an unknown author more than 30 years ago that illuminates the choices that we make regarding self-care: “Many people go through their lives completing partial suicide, destroying their talents, energies and creative qualities. Indeed it is often harder to be good to oneself than to take care of others.” First ponder the message in the quote and how it relates to your experience (or maybe someone that you know). Then take the time to record the thoughts and feelings that bubble up inside for you as you reflect on the meaning for your life. What might you want to shift as a result of your insights and awareness? Make your decision for self-care now!You Are Valuable!!Most of us make our decisions to take better care of ourselves once we are confronted with a life challenge: a health crisis, the unexpected death of a loved one, the ending of a relationship, or another situation that creates a “wake up call.” Once we hit the proverbial “brick wall,” we set our intentions to make shifts and commit to making this year ‘our’ year for shifts. During critical life events and transitions, it is more difficult to engage in a process of behavior change because our resources all already strained and limited. If you already struggle with stating your own needs or asking for help, you are not likely to do so at the times when you feel the most fearful and isolated. I invite you to initiate the spiritual practice of self-care now, or when your life feels relatively stable. Then you will be prepared once the inevitable “bumps in the road” occur. A colleague of mine has battled lymphoma for the past eight months, and now stands ready to receive a bone marrow transplant. After years of focusing on others and being ‘too busy,’ she has had ample opportunity to re-evaluate her priorities. She clearly sees the necessity to focus on herself and her family, and plans to retire at the end of this year. Don’t let a near brush with death be the impetus for your shift to the spiritual practice of self-care! Despite what you might have been told, either implicitly or explicitly, self-care is neither selfish nor self-indulgent! When we take care of our own needs first, we can give from our surplus, our wealth of inner resources. I do not have many spiritual gifts to offer when I feel depleted. Therefore, I find it much more difficult to act with loving kindness toward my husband, my colleagues, my congregants, or my friends. The great poet Virgil noted in 70 BCE that “the greatest wealth is health!” I truly resonate with these words. When I am spiritually replenished, I am best equipped to thrive in ways that enhance my life and to serve as a resource for others! To generate an abundant life, we have a unique responsibility to care for ourselves first! With self-nurturing we create better health, and we design the environment where we can flourish. Then we can share from our Christ Nature, feeling renewed and available to assist those who reach out to us for prayer or spiritual support. If you travelled on a commercial airline recently, you heard the flight attendants tell the passengers about the proper use of oxygen masks in the event of a crisis. They stress the importance of placing the masks over one’s own mouths first before trying to assist others. People do not question the oxygen mask recommendation as a life-saving necessity. However, when invited or encouraged to take care of their own needs first in other ways, they often smile and nod, but do the opposite. Life challenges arise when we focus excessively on caring for others and minimize our own well-being. Continuing to ignore our own unique needs over time will leave us feeling depleted, exhausted, and possibly resentful. Ultimately, we become much more vulnerable to challenging relationships, unmet desires, and a unhealthy focus on lack. Eventually, this leads to an experience of dis-ease in the physical, emotional, and/or spiritual realms. The belief that we must care for others first, even to our own detriment, can be exceedingly well ingrained. This holds true particularly for women, who tend to be more often characterized as giving, nurturing, and self-sacrificing. While altruism benefits those in our communities, both spiritually and in the broader sense, you have to prioritize your own spiritual practices. I encourage you to re-write your beliefs about selflessness! You are free to re-think your choices and to make a new commitment! Charles Fillmore, the Unity co-founder, always reserved the right to change his mind, and so can you! If you were to write a powerful affirmation to support your new spiritual practice of self-care, what would you claim as true now?!As we move forward to embrace our most health-filled ways of living in the world, I invite you to begin with this affirmation: “I take care of myself. I honor my needs.”If no one has told you lately how wonderful you are, let me initiate the process. Similar to our children’s blessing, I offer this heartfelt gift: “I love you, I bless you, and I appreciate you!” Every person reading these words possesses vast inner resources to contribute in a unique way! You can do the world a huge favor by taking better care of yourself today. Then continue to move forward by loving yourself more fully one day at a time! You are worth it! We need you to more fully express the Divine Spark that resides deep inside you! As the great leader Mahatma Gandhi said, “Be the change you wish to see in the world!”Make the decision today to nourish and replenish yourself! Believing that you deserve loving care is essential! Perhaps you still have another level or layer of forgiveness work to do, either with yourself or for another, to allow this process to unfold. Use your time in the quiet to open to Divine Mind. That’s all you need to do. The Divine Idea of how you can take the next step will reveal itself soon enough. As we truly allow the spiritual practice of self-care to unfold, we can more fully share our Christ Nature and live our Truth. Our Unity co-founder, Myrtle Fillmore, made a commitment to health and healing that serves as a model and inspiration for others. We marvel at her devotion to creating wholeness and living a vibrantly healthy life. Yet she wrote in the Letters of Myrtle Fillmore, “I often think these days that we are too much in a rush, trying to do too much, and still failing to discern & do the very things that would surely mean the most (p. 14).” Ms. Myrtle knew that quiet reflection and the investment in inward searching provided rich rewards for her life.Jesus also demonstrated for us the process of self-care and self-nurturing. He often chose to go into the wilderness at times when he was “edgy,” despite the fact that others sought his company. Jesus regularly took time away from the crowds to replenish and refresh so that he could return to give from his fullness and abundance.In Mark 6:45-46, Jesus separated himself from the crowds: “He Himself was sending the multitude away. And after bidding them farewell, he departed to the mountain to pray.” In Luke 4:42, Jesus again created distance despite the others’ neediness and attempts to keep him in their midst: “And when day came, He departed to a lonely place; and the multitudes were searching for Him, and came to Him, and tried to keep Him from going away from them.” Ponder this: What compels you to create busyness, noise, and distractions when what you really seek and desire is the gift of Silence, a moment in the Present??Dr. H. Emilie Cady wrote about the enthralling nature of the Silence in Lessons in Truth: “How to seek the secret place--where to find it--how to abide in it--these are the questions that today, more than at any other time in the history of the world, are engaging the hearts of men. More than anything else it is what I want. It is what you want (p. 99).”For most of us, the desperate push to do more, to give more, and to BE more comes from a feeling of lack rather than a feeling of wholeness! In Finding Balance: 12 Priorities for Interdependence and Joyful Living, Terry Kellogg, an early leader in the chemical dependency field, challenged us to live as human beings rather than human DOINGS. He encouraged those in recovery to foster an ability to focus on authenticity rather than performance. In addition, he continually underscored how self-care supported and enhanced lasting recovery.Affirm: I invite opportunities to nourish and replenish! I commit to the Spiritual Practice of Self-Care! I revel in the Silence!Allow the words of Dr. H. Emilie Cady to resonate through your being: “We hear a great deal about "sitting in the silence." To many it does not mean very much, for they have not yet learned how to "wait. . .in silence for God only" (Ps. 62:5), or to hear any voice except external ones. Noise belongs to the outside world, not to God. God works in the stillness (p. 100).”Self-care is not selfish! Self-destructive behavior is neither saintly nor spiritual!To better discern ways to gently nurture yourself, consider this: What would I recommend or offer to someone that I really loved and cared about? That may spark ideas that influence you as you discern what you need to create a feeling of rest and renewal!Top 25 Ways to Self-NurtureI want to share a few of the strategies that I find work well for me to create a sense of renewal, inner peace, and healing. I know that you will develop your own creative plan for nurturing self-care!Have a facial or relaxing massage. Set healthy limits and say no when necessary.Meditate daily. Prepare and eat healthy meals. Take long walks with my dog. Take a hot bath. Take a day-long break from the computer. Engage in a hobby that nurtures my creativity.Take an afternoon nap. Spend time at the park swinging.Watch a funny movie. Journal.Observe and interact with children.Sing my prayers. Listen to island music.Read a biography.Use my china and crystal for meals.Create a “vacation day” and see new sites in my city.Send cards in the mail to people that I care about “just because.”Look at travel magazines and visualize my next dream trip.Connect with someone that I miss in my life.Go to the sauna.Light sweet smelling candles.Shift my decorations and furniture in new, fun ways.Drink herbal tea.Affirm: I invite opportunities to nourish and replenish! I revel in the Silence! I commit to the Spiritual Practice of Self-Care!Help To Save A Very Important Life! Take Better Care of Yourself!Ideas for Self-Nurturing ~ Fill Up Your Inner Well!I commit to replenish and restore my inner resources by ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________I commit to release my tendency to ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________I commit to forgiving myself and others by ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________I commit to celebrate and ignite my life by creating ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________I commit to honor and respect myself by inviting ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Cultivating Love for SelfThis is a simple exercise to perform when you have a few moments of time throughout the day. Repeat to yourself for several minutes. Tell yourself how much you love you, and how much you accept yourself exactly the way you are. You are great and perfect in every way. ?(Imagine that you are saying the Unity Children’s Blessing to yourself)!When you go?to the bathroom, every time you look in the mirror, brush your teeth, wash your hands, say to yourself:“I love you. I really, really love you!!” Say it with feeling. It will be hard the first few times. The more you do it. The more natural it will be.Support and ResourcesNorth Texas AREA Unity MinistriesPhoneAddressCityStateZip CodeCenter of Unity817.488.10081650 Hughes RdGrapevineTX76051 Unity of Abilene325.698.64892842 Barrow StreetAbileneTX79605 Unity of Arlington817.467.51513525 S Bowen RoadArlingtonTX76016 Divine Awakening816.284.757914700 Marsh Lane #1421AddisonTX75001 Unity Church of Fort Worth817.423.29655051 Trail Lake DriveFort WorthTX76133 Unity of Dallas817.467.51516525 Forest LaneDallasTX75230 Unity Spiritual Center of Denton214.453.02186071 New Hope RoadKrugervilleTX76227 of Irving972.253.5083210 VirginiaIrvingTX75061 Unity of Greater Waco254.666.9102340 Whispering Meadow Dr.HewittTX76643 on Greenville214.826.56833425 Greenville AvenueDallasTX75206 Unity of Shreveport, LA318.425.4401670 Stoner AveShreveportLA71101 Tyler903.509.117714024 Hwy 155 STylerTX75703 in All Directions Unity Ministry325.725.35442402 Helena CircleAblieneTX79606Unity Spirit of Aloha972.983.3033PO Box 270181Flower MoundTX75027-0181Unity Ministry of Reconciliation & Support903.245.10913133 Granbury CtTylerTX75707Recommended ReadingUnity MagazineNovember 2010The Five PrinciplesEllen DebenportUnderstanding Your GriefAlan D. WolfeltStory of UnityJames Dillet FreemanHandbook of Positive PrayerHypatia HasbrookDiscover the Power Within YouEric ButterworthThe Twelve Powers of ManCharles FillmoreChrist Enthroned in Man Cora FillmoreBibliographyPrayer Chaplain Manual – Unity Church of San Antonio by Linda Martella-Whitsett Unity Church of Ames (Iowa) Prayer Ministry, Prayer Chaplain Training Handbook Heart Centered Metaphysics by Rev. Dr. Paul HasselbeckCome Apart for a While by Robert & Janet EllsworthHow to Pray Without Talking to God by Linda Martella-Whitsett ................
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