Digital Learning & Online Textbooks – Cengage



>> This is behavior therapy in action as it applies to working with Stan. We're going to assume that this is the 4th session of behavior therapy, and what happened last week was Stan said that he would be willing to do homework. In this particular approach we give a lot of homework collaboratively and Stan said he was going to approach one of his professors, talk to his professor about his anxiety he was experiencing in class, and we start off the session by talking about, well, Stan, how did your homework go, what happened.

[ Silence ]

>> Last week I remember we ended off our session with you saying you really wanted to approach some of your professors because you're anxious in class and you're wondering what they think about you and you don't talk as much as you'd like to, and I remember giving you a homework assignment and you were a little bit -- I don't know if I'll do it. I just want to check and see how did that go?

>> Stan: Well, I didn't do it. I thought that I could make an appointment with one of my teachers but when the time came I was sitting there it was the end of class and there was a line so I just said forget it.

>> Yeah, so there was a line. A long line?

>> Stan: 2 people.

>> 2 people, okay, yeah. I wonder what you told yourself when there were 2 people ahead of you.

>> Stan: What did I tell myself? Well, I mean, she only has so much time, 2 people are already there, by the time I get up there she'll be rushed and she'll be wanting to, you know, head off to teach her next class or do whatever it is that she needs to do next, so --.

>> Yeah.

>> Stan: I figured I'd, you know, I'll just wait until I can get her at a different time.

>> Yeah, so how was it for you that you didn't carry out the homework assignment?

>> Stan: Well, I was a little --. I thought you were going to ask about it when I came in.

>> You know me.

>> Stan: And, yeah, so --.

[ Background noise ]

>> Stan: I felt bad a little bit about it but I also feel like, you know, I had good reasons.

>> Good reasons not to do it.

>> Stan: Yeah, the line and all that sort of stuff. I didn't want to encroach on her time.

>> Yeah. You know I think it's important that we look at if you don't carry out an assignment what was that about, you know, and I'm kind of wondering, I'm thinking back of last week I wonder if I was a bit pushy and, you know, maybe it was more my agenda for you than your agenda for yourself. I just want to check that out.

>> Stan: Well, I mean I do -- I think I should meet with my instructor.

>> You should meet with her.

>> Stan: Yeah, I think I need to do that. I just don't know. I don't know, maybe when it came time to do it it was harder to get up there and ask her than I thought it was going to be so I just didn't do it.

>> Right, and did you write anything in your journal about what you did do and what was hard about it?

>> Stan: I wrote a little bit. I really didn't focus too much on it though.

>> Yeah. Well, let me check with you, is this something that you really want to do?

>> Stan: Yes, I do, I do want to do it.

>> You do want to approach your professor?

>> Stan: Yes, I do. I just don't --.

>> One in particular or all of them?

>> Stan: Well, this particular one for sure.

>> Okay.

>> Stan: Because I feel like there's something going on. You know, I raise my hand, she doesn't call on me. I just feel like maybe I'm not understanding what's going on in that classroom, so I need to -- I really think that I need to meet with her.

>> Right.

>> Stan: There's something about her that just, I don't know, maybe I'm intimidated or something, just a little apprehensive.

>> Yeah, yeah. Well, I think the hardest part is just committing yourself to doing it, and we could practice it in here. Would that be helpful for you?

>> Stan: I think so because she just seems so busy, she seems really just scattered all the time and I don't know --. I feel like I'm, you know, bothering her.

>> Okay, well, let's do a little bit of what we call assertion training.

>> Stan: Okay.

>> Because it sounds like --.

>> Stan: Yeah, that would help, I think.

>> Yeah, it sounds like you're a little bit hesitant and I want to give you an opportunity to approach her in sort of a direct and assertive style, so --.

>> Stan: Okay.

>> Try something out, approach me as though I were your professor and ask for time.

>> Stan: Oh, okay. Excuse me, do you have a couple of minutes I can talk to you about the class?

>> Okay, can I be your mirror for just a second? Excuse me, do you have just a couple of minutes that I can talk to you after --?

>> Stan: [laughing] Do I look like that?

>> Not quite, no, I'm exaggerating but it came across a little bit apologetic.

>> Stan: Right.

>> You want to try it again?

>> Stan: [inaudible comment]

>> And do whatever you think.

>> Stan: Okay.

>> I just want to try your opening, the first thing.

>> Stan: Okay. Excuse me, can you spare a minute to talk with me about a few things?

>> Okay. How was that?

>> Stan: I don't know, it seemed okay to me.

>> Okay.

>> Stan: It felt a little different.

>> Okay. Now, would you be willing to try something out? How about if I become you for a moment?

>> Stan: Okay.

>> I want to demonstrate something and --.

>> Stan: Okay.

>> -- you become the professor.

>> Stan: Okay.

>> Okay, I'll start off the way you did. Excuse me, could you spare a moment or 2?

>> Stan: Well, I'm kind of busy.

>> Yeah, I know, I appreciate that, but you did tell us the first day of class you really want us to use your office hour and I've been thinking about that so I'd just like a few moments.

>> Stan: Wow, you did that really good.

>> Oh, okay, what did I do that was good?

>> Stan: You kind of said what she had said before and brought it up and kind of said what you needed.

>> Yeah.

>> Stan: I mean you seem like you did it a lot better than I could. I just can't think that quickly on my toes.

>> Okay, well, that's why I want to practice it in these sessions.

>> Stan: Okay.

>> Behaviorally, you know, very specific, so let's try it again.

>> Stan: Okay. Which one am I, me or the teacher?

>> Okay, good. Let's see, how about you being Stan again.

>> Stan: Okay.

>> And I'll be the teacher. Start again with the first line asking for time.

>> Stan: Excuse me, I'd like a minute of your time to talk about some things.

>> Okay, how did that opening line sound to your ears?

>> Stan: A little bit better than before.

>> Yeah, it sounded a little bit stronger. Let's redo it one more time.

>> Stan: Okay, excuse me, I'd like a few moments to talk about some things that are related to the class.

>> How was that?

>> Stan: Better.

>> Yeah, it sounds a little more -- it's more direct, a little more of yourself in there. Okay, let's take it a little bit longer and I'll be that professor, okay?

>> Stan: Okay.

>> And, you know, I teach too so I can get into that.

>> Stan: Okay.

>> Alrighty?

>> Stan: Let's see, okay. Excuse me, professor, can I have a couple minutes of your time just to talk about some things that are related to the class?

>> Oh, gosh, how much time do you need?

>> Stan: Just a couple of minutes. Actually I'd like to make an appointment with you if I could.

>> Oh, okay, go ahead and talk.

>> Stan: Well, I was thinking that maybe --.

>> Yeah, I'm doing several things but I'm listening to you.

>> Stan: Okay.

>> I'm aware of a class coming up in a second too.

>> Stan: Maybe we could meet sometime during your office hours --.

>> Yeah, that's --

>> Stan: -- and talk about upcoming tests.

>> That's now, we're having -- this is office time.

>> Stan: Oh. Well, maybe there's another time we could talk?

>> Oh, it never gets any better than this I'm always way behind and I've always got 10 things to do and only time to do 3 of them, but go ahead I'm --.

>> Stan: Okay, well, --.

>> I've got another minute and a half.

>> Stan: I'm kind of concerned about the midterm.

>> Oh, yeah, a lot of students are. Don't worry about it, don't sweat it.

>> Stan: Okay then, thanks. I don't know what else I would say. I don't know.

>> Okay.

>> Stan: That's kind of what I think would happen.

>> Let's freeze the action.

>> Stan: Okay.

>> How was that to do that?

>> Stan: I felt like it started off good and then I kind of crashed.

>> Okay. What did you think of your professor is that the way she might have done it?

>> Stan: I think so. I mean, perhaps, maybe not as busy as you [laughing], but she seems --.

>> Preoccupied.

>> Stan: Pretty preoccupied, yeah.

>> Yeah, so do you want me to model it, and, again, I'm not --.

>> Stan: Yeah, how you would be able to do it.

>> I'm not telling you how to do it perfectly.

>> Stan: Okay.

>> I'm just giving you another version.

>> Stan: Okay.

>> And maybe you could be this difficult-to-reach professor.

>> Stan: Okay, I think I can do that.

>> Yeah. Hi there.

>> Stan: Hello.

>> You told us to use your office time and I'm finally doing it.

>> Stan: Oh, okay, well, you know, I only have a few minutes because I've got all these papers to grade.

>> Yeah, well, I wasn't thinking we'd do everything today, but at least I want to take the first step of talking to you about how it is for me to be in your class.

>> Stan: Okay, well, perhaps I can grade the papers and you can talk to me while I'm grading the papers.

>> Yeah, okay, but I want to just tell you I want to participate a lot more than I do but sometimes I just get stuck because I'm concerned what you might think about me.

>> Stan: Okay, well, that's good I think a lot of people have that problem and you should be able to do that just fine.

>> Yeah, well, I know, you know, I look at others and they all look like they -- smooth -- like they have the answers, and that you favor them, you know, and I just don't want to let that stop me. I really want to get a lot more active in the class.

>> Stan: I see, so you want me to call on you more or what do you want me --.

>> No, I think that would be too easy. I just want you to know that I like your class, I want to learn, and I'm going to push myself to ask a few more questions.

>> Stan: That sounds good.

>> Okay?

>> Stan: Okay.

>> Well, alright.

>> Stan: I don't know. How'd you do that?

>> You look surprised.

>> Stan: Well, yeah, I was trying to be the busy professor but the way you were talking I was -- I got distracted. It was, you know, --.

>> You got drawn in.

>> Stan: Well, yeah, drawn in.

>> Okay. Well, you know, I hope you're not going to try doing it my way. All I'm trying to do -- it's important that you find your own voice and your own words. I was just maybe kind of giving you another way of being a little more persistent.

>> Stan: Right.

>> And maybe even 2 minutes is a good start, because at least you're not letting yourself get deterred by 2 people in line. And I think you're making a statement you're saying I'm worth at least 2 minutes of your time.

>> Stan: I guess I never thought of it that way.

>> Yeah. And did you hear I was just saying even in the brief time I had I said, you know, I really want to do well in your class, I like your class, and I want to push myself to get more active, so any of that do you think you might take home and think about and maybe try again?

>> Stan: Yes.

>> Okay.

>> Stan: Especially just kind of resaying or reiterating that you just want a brief period of time just to kind of stating it over.

>> Right. So before we end today, and we're approaching the end in this session, I'd just like to more collaboratively work this out.

>> Stan: Okay.

>> I really want to find out if this is homework and something that you want to do. Is this moving you in the direction of meeting your goals?

>> Stan: Oh, yeah, I -- yeah, I really do want to do it and I think the thing that gets in my way of doing it is getting just right there and getting too nervous and kind of backing out.

>> Yeah. And what do you think would help you when you get right there and then get nervous?

>> Stan: I don't know maybe taking a deep breath and just kind of maybe staying with it, just telling myself something.

>> Right.

>> Stan: Like it's going to be okay or --.

>> Right, right.

>> Stan: -- I'm worth 2 minutes, something like that.

>> Both of those sound good. First of all, we've done some relaxation exercises in here like deep breathing --

>> Stan: I could do that.

>> -- and closing your eyes and being aware of your breathing just getting centered a bit, so that's one thing you could do. You just said I am worth it maybe just tell yourself I'm worth at least 2 minutes.

>> Stan: Okay.

>> How's that?

>> Stan: I can do that.

>> Okay, now, when will you do this?

>> Stan: Well, I have class on Wednesday.

>> Okay.

>> Stan: She has her office hours right after class so I can approach her, maybe even if I'm there a little early and she comes in I can ask her if she has a minute for me after class, kind of set it up a little bit.

>> Good.

>> Stan: Then if I do that then I have to do it.

>> I like your energy. As you're talking you seem a lot more animated.

>> Stan: Yeah, I feel like I could do it I just need a little kick in the pants a little bit.

>> Okay, can you imagine me kicking you in the pants when you're there?

>> Stan: [laughing] Yes.

>> In a sort of a gentle --.

>> Stan: I can do that.

>> -- loving sort of a way.

>> Stan: I can do that.

>> Okay, let's do that.

>> Stan: Okay.

>> And don't worry if you don't I'm not going to grade you on this performance.

>> Stan: Okay.

>> If you don't do it the way you like it that's alright we can talk about it.

>> Stan: Okay.

>> I just think it's so important that you're willing to take what we're talking about in here and put it into action out there in the real world.

>> Stan: Yes.

>> So it may not sound like a big deal but I think it is very important.

>> Stan: Okay.

>> You're willing to try something out there.

>> Stan: Oh, yes.

>> Okay, good luck!

>> Stan: Thanks.

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