Session Outline and - Clover Sites



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"A Man and His Wife" Basil Marotta, Jericho Ministries

some material used with permission of On Target Ministries

Session Outline:

1 Peter 3:7 (NKJV) “Husbands, likewise, dwell with them (wives) with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.”

(Eph 5:25-27 NIV) Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her {26} to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, {27} and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.

In Genesis there was a curse placed upon men and women as a result of the fall. Genesis 3:16 says, "To the woman He said, I will greatly increase your pains in childbearing; with pain you will give birth to children. Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you."

Because of this curse a woman’s greatest need is for security.

Her greatest fear is abandonment.

Life Implication:

Understanding the different fears and needs of men and women is critical to building healthy relationships. As men we have been given the responsibility to minister to our wives in ways that will bring them to their full potential.

It is important for us to see our wives as God sees them. At every opportunity we must look for ways to build their emotional bank account. There is no greater place for God to demonstrate His great love then through the healthy relationship of husband and wife.

Some things we men can do to fill our wives needs…

1. Spend time with her alone.

Three ways we can love our wives. Agape, (moral love) -- Phileo, (emotional) -- and -- Eros, (physical)

It is often hard for men to give emotionally unless there is a sexual component. With women it is difficult to experience a meaningful sexual relationship until she is satisfied emotionally.

2. Listen to her deeply.

With men communication is rational -- with women it is emotional--a way to express feelings.

3. To touch her meaningfully.

Happy wives do not feel as though they have to perform to be a successful wife.

A true test of our character is how we react when things do not go our way.

4. Accept her unconditionally.

5. Be committed to her.

Never -- never ever use the "D" word. Be careful of that "wandering eye".

6. Encourage her with words.

It has been determined that in human communication for every one positive statement made there are eleven negative. Remember that the bible says, "The tongue has the power of life and death".

7. Take care of her financially.

The number one threat to marriage today is money.

A good rule is to never make important financial decisions without your wife’s input and agreement.

8. Laugh with her.

It is important to have a healthy sense of humor. Hang out with some fun people. Go to or rent some funny movies from time-to-time.

9. After God, but before all others, make her your top priority.

You and your wife are in it for the long haul. No one, not even your kids, will ever have the place in your life that your wife has.

10. Be her best friend.

This can be a natural by-product of investing wisely in the other nine areas.

11. Most Important…Pray with and for her…

Communicate with her often. Ask questions that are stimulating and uplifting. What are your dreams? What would you do if you had more time for yourself? How could we do more together? Lack of communication is one wives biggest complaints.

In his popular book, "The Marriage Builder", Larry Crabb says that in all communication we are doing one of two things, we are either ministering or manipulating. A good exercise for us is to ask ourselves the question, what is my motive?

Scripture References: Ephesians 5: 25-29; 1 Peter 3: 7

Question:

How can I do a better job of ministering to my wife in the areas discussed?

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|Points For Meditation to help build a strong marriage… |

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|In “Understanding the Mind of a Woman”, Ken Nair suggests some prayers we men should ask and pray…something we should all consider…. |

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|That God would help me learn how to meet the needs of my wife, to understand her mind, her way of thinking, her innermost thoughts… |

|That God would show me how to love my wife so that she would be able to experience more than just hearing me say, “I love you.” As God’s |

|representative, I want to have her experience God’s loving her through me, to bless her heart through me. That would include learning how to love her|

|from her frame of reference. |

|That I would learn how to be the spiritual leader of my home.. That my spirit might become so sensitive that I would become aware of the Holy Spirit |

|leading my spirit. |

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1 Peter 3:7 (NKJV) “Husbands, likewise, dwell with them (wives) with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.”

(1 Pet 3:7 NIV) Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.

Webster: understanding ….mental process of a person who comprehends; superior power of discernment; enlightened intelligence: knowledge of or familiarity with a particular thing; skill in dealing with or handling something:

Considerate…showing kindly awareness or regard for another's feelings,

Honor…high respect, as for worth, merit, or rank

In “Understanding the Mind of a Woman”, Ken Nair states that there are four prejudices that are commonly held:

1. Women are impossible to understand.

Very few men have tried to live with their wives in an understanding way…it has become a self fulfilling prophecy

2. Women are the real problem…most men do not believe they are root of the real problem...men at seminars ask, “When are you going to get to the women? Davis illust

3. Women are inferior to men…look at history…and in some parts of the world today…women are chattel…something to use…they are stupid…not to be educated

4. Men are supposed to be “the Boss.” This generally relates to, the husband can disregard his wife’s needs while abundantly taking care of his own…the Bible says we are to love our wives as Christ loved the church…to give up ourselves and die…and live for them

Resources:

“Discovering the Mind of a Woman” The key to becoming a strong and irresistible husband…..Ken Nair

“If Only He Knew” What no woman can resist…..Gary Smalley

“The Five Love Languages” How to express heartfelt commitment to your mate… Gary Chapman

“The Five Love Languages” – Men’s Edition ….Gary Chapman

“His Needs Her Needs” Building an affair proof marriage… Willard F. Harley, Jr.

“For Men Only” A straightforward guide to the inner lives of women…Shaunti Feldhahn

“Love and Respect”…Dr. Emerson Eggerichs

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