Welcome to the thought of the day, the lighter side
Welcome to the thought of the day, the lighter side.
________________________________________
Can you cry under water?
[pic]
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
[pic]
Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?
[pic]
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
[pic]
What disease did cured ham actually have?
[pic]
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
[pic]
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies
wake up like every two hours?
[pic]
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
[pic]
Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
[pic]
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
[pic]
Why do doctors leave the room while you change?
They're going to see you naked anyway.
[pic]
Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?
[pic]
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
[pic]
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
[pic]
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
[pic]
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
[pic]
If Wiley E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
[pic]
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables,
what is baby oil made from?
[pic]
If electricity comes from electrons,
does morality come from morons?
[pic]
Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star
have the same tune?
[pic]
Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
[pic]
Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?
[pic]
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the window?
[pic]
Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail address in the first place?
each Life Needs its own quiet place.
Change brings freshness.
It’s the Little Moments That make life big.
Nothing is difficult to those who have the will.
Only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live.
What we see depends mainly on what we look for.
Ability may get you to the top, but it takes character to keep you there.
Don’t ask for an easier Life; ask to be a stronger person.
The best way to prepare for life is to live.
Happiness is where we find it, but rarely where we seek it.
Success is often the result of taking a misstep in the right direction.
I take nothing for granted. I now have only good days and Great days.
It isn’t the load that breaks us down, it is the way we carry it.
Why be a chicken, when you can be an Eagle?
Discipline is remembering what you want --David Campbell
Whatever you are, be the best one you can be—Abraham Lincoln
Gene Autry's COWBOY CODE
1. The Cowboy must never shoot first, hit a smaller man, or take unfair advantage.
2. He must never go back on his word, or a trust confided in him.
3. He must always tell the truth.
4. He must be gentle with children, the elderly, and animals.
5. He must not advocate or possess racially or religiously intolerant ideas.
6. He must help people in distress.
7. He must be a good worker.
8. He must keep himself clean in thought, speech, action, and personal habits.
9. He must respect women, parents and his nation's laws.
10. The Cowboy is a patriot.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Roy Rogers
Today’s Stock Market Report
Helium was up, feathers were down. Paper was stationary.
Fluorescent tubing was dimmed in light trading.
Knives were up sharply.
Cows steered into a bull market.
Pencils lost a few points.
Hiking equipment was trailing.
Elevators rose, while escalators continued their slow decline.
Weights were up in heavy trading.
Light switches were off.
Mining equipment hit rock bottom.
Diapers remained unchanged.
Shipping lines stayed at an even keel.
The market for rainins dried up.
Coca Cola fizzled.
Caterpillar stock inched up a bit.
Sun peaked at midday.
Balloon prices were inflated.
Scott tissue touched a new bottom.
And batteries exploded in an attempt to recharge the market.
3 new bonds were issued:
* Lewinsky bond: Has no maturity
* Gore bond: Has no interest
* Clinton Bond: Has no principle.
Hopalong Cassidy's Creed for American Boys and Girls
1. The highest badge of honor a person can wear is honesty. Be truthful at all times.
2. Your parents are the best friends you have. Listen to them and obey their instructions.
3. If you want to be respected, you must respect others. Show good manners in every way.
4. Only through hard work and study can you succeed. Don't be lazy.
5. Your good deeds always come to light. So don't boast or be a show-off.
6. If you waste time or money today, you will regret it tomorrow. Practice thrift in all ways.
7. Many animals are good and loyal companions. Be friendly and kind to them.
8. A strong, healthy body is a precious gift. Be neat and clean.
9. Our country's laws are made for your protection. Observe them carefully.
10. Children in many foreign lands are less fortunate than you.
Be glad and proud you are American.
Welcome to the thought of the day, the lighter side.
________________________________________
Can you cry under water?
[pic]
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
[pic]
Why do you have to "put your two cents in". but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?
[pic]
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
[pic]
What disease did cured ham actually have?
[pic]
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
[pic]
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies
wake up like every two hours?
[pic]
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
[pic]
Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
[pic]
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
[pic]
Why do doctors leave the room while you change?
They're going to see you naked anyway.
[pic]
Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?
[pic]
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
[pic]
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
[pic]
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
[pic]
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
[pic]
If Wiley E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
[pic]
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables,
what is baby oil made from?
[pic]
If electricity comes from electrons,
does morality come from morons?
[pic]
Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star
have the same tune?
[pic]
Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
[pic]
Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?
[pic]
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the window?
[pic]
Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail address in the first place?
each Life Needs its own quiet place.
Change brings freshness.
It’s the Little Moments That make life big.
Nothing is difficult to those who have the will.
Only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live.
What we see depends mainly on what we look for.
Ability may get you to the top, but it takes character to keep you there.
Don’t ask for an easier Life; ask to be a stronger person.
The best way to prepare for life is to live.
Happiness is where we find it, but rarely where we seek it.
Success is often the result of taking a misstep in the right direction.
I take nothing for granted. I now have only good days and Great days.
It isn’t the load that breaks us down, it is the way we carry it.
Why be a chicken, when you can be an Eagle?
Discipline is remembering what you want --David Campbell
Whatever you are, be the best one you can be—Abraham Lincoln
Gene Autry's COWBOY CODE
1. The Cowboy must never shoot first, hit a smaller man, or take unfair advantage.
2. He must never go back on his word, or a trust confided in him.
3. He must always tell the truth.
4. He must be gentle with children, the elderly, and animals.
5. He must not advocate or possess racially or religiously intolerant ideas.
6. He must help people in distress.
7. He must be a good worker.
8. He must keep himself clean in thought, speech, action, and personal habits.
9. He must respect women, parents and his nation's laws.
10. The Cowboy is a patriot.
Nail IN the Fence
make sure you read all the way down to the last sentence.
(Most importantly the last sentence.)
There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and told him that everytime he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence. The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper that to drive those nails into the fence.
Finally the day came when the boy couldn’t lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail each day that he was able to hold his temper.
the days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone. the father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. he said, “You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. the fence will never be the same. when you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won’t matter how many times you say I’m sorry, the wound is still there.” verbal wound is a bad as a physical one.
friends are very rare jewels, indeed. They make you smile and encourage you to succeed. They lend an ear, they share words of praise and they always want to open their heart to us.” It National friendship Week. Show your friends how much you care.
Marriage
Marriage isn’t doing what the other says as proof of love or obedience,
it is deciding how things should be done together to reach the goals of both.
One Hundred Years from now
It will not matter
What my bank account was,
The sort of house I lived in,
Or the kind of car I drove but
that the WORLD may be
DIFFERENT
because I was important In the LIFE of ONE CHILD.
Friendship is a promise made in the heart.
Unbreakable by distance, unchangeable by time.
DID YOU KNOW THESE FACTS?
I SURE DIDN'T TILL NOW
Death is certain but the Bible speaks about untimely death!
make a personal reflection about this.....
Very interesting, read until the end.....
It is written in the Bible (Galatians 6:7):
'Be not deceived; God is not mocked:
for whatsoever a man sow,
that shall he also reap.
Here are some men and women
who mocked God :
John Lennon (Singer):
Some years before, during his interview with an American Magazine, he said:
Christianity will end, it will disappear. I do not have to argue about that. I am certain.
Jesus was ok, but his subjects were too simple, today we are more famous than Him' (1966).
Lennon, after saying that the Beatles were more famous than Jesus Christ, was shot six times.
Tancredo Neves (President of Brazil ):
during the Presidential campaign, he said if he got 500,000 votes from his party, not even God would remove him from Presidency.
Sure he got the votes, but he got sick a day before being made President, then he died.
Cazuza (Bi-sexual Brazilian composer, singer and poet):
During A show in Canecio ( Rio de Janeiro ), while smoking his cigarette, he puffed out some smoke into the air and said:'God, that's for you.'
He died at the age of 32 of LUNG CANCER in a horrible manner.
The man who built the Titanic
After the construction of Titanic, a reporter asked him how safe the Titanic would be.
With an ironic tone he said:
'Not even God can sink it'
The result: I think you all know what happened to the Titanic
Marilyn Monroe (Actress)
She was visited by Billy Graham during a presentation of a show.
He said the Spirit of God had sent him to preach to her.
After hearing what the Preacher had to say, she said:
'I don't need your Jesus'.
A week later, she was found dead in her apartment
Bon Scott (Singer)
The ex-vocalist of the AC/DC. On one of his 1979 songs he sang:
'Don't stop me; I'm going down all the way, down the highway to hell'.
On the 19th of February 1980, Bon Scott was found dead, he had been choked by his own vomit.
Campinas (IN 2005)
In Campinas , Brazil a group of friends, drunk, went to pick up a friend.....
The mother accompanied her to the car and was so worried about the drunkenness of her friends and she said to the daughter holding her hand, who was already seated in the car:
'My Daughter, Go With God And May He Protect You.'
She responded: 'Only If He (God) Travels In The Trunk, Cause Inside Here.....It's Already Full '
Hours later, news came by that they had been involved in a fatal accident, everyone had died, the car could not be recognized what type of car it had been, but surprisingly, the trunk was intact.
The police said there was no way the trunk could have remained intact. To their surprise, inside the trunk was a crate of eggs, none was broken
Christine Hewitt (Jamaican Journalist and entertainer)
said the Bible (Word of God) was the worst book ever written.
In June 2006 she was found burnt beyond recognition in her motor vehicle.
Many more important people have forgotten that there is no other name that was given so much authority as the name of Jesus.
Many have died, but only Jesus died and rose again, and he is still alive.
I have done my part, Jesus said
'If you are embarrassed about me,
I will also be embarrassed about you before my father.'
'Lord, I love you and I need you, come into my heart, and bless me, my family, my home, and my friends, in Jesus' name. Amen.'
The wealth of a man will show
in the continence
of his wife’s face.
................
................
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