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[Pages:10]The Nice Guy Cure

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What's Wrong With Being a Nice Guy?

"I'm the nicest guy you've probably ever met," said Don the first time we had met. We were at a party and he decided to divulge his life story to me. Someone had told him about my books over the course of the night. After a few drinks, he decided to tell me his life story ? a story filled with sexual frustration and disrespect.

Don continued, " Yet, I just don't understand why everyone walks over me all the time." I had to refrain from rolling my eyes at him. I'd seen this tale a number of times before. "I go out of my way to help and treat everyone so nicely, but people just take advantage of me and then ignore me. I never get what I actually want," he continued.

I nodded. I knew exactly why. Don was a friendly guy, but he was nothing new. He'd done what he thought he should and he didn't get what he thought he should. Sure, he had a wife and a run of the mill job, but it was clear he wasn't happy.

He continued telling me tales of his frustrated sex life, how his boss continually uses him to work free overtime, and even sadder situations. The man truly had a problem and he didn't have any idea what it was, much less what to do about it. He truly just wanted to be liked. This was the root of the problem.

As he continued on and on, not giving me much time to interject, I stopped him. I quick glance shot straight through him and I saw his giddy nature turn to nervousness, " Look Don, you have a problem." He became visibly upset as I said this. "You are a nice guy and people take advantage of you."

He nodded in agreement. "If you want me to help you, I can, but it's not going to be comfortable for you." He nodded again. "Great. Meet me tomorrow and we will get started." I said this and shook his hand. Contact details exchange and I was back socializing.

However, I couldn't quite get my mind off Don's problem. I had seen it before, but never that bad. I decided to call it a night. I headed home and began writing. I knew other men had a similar problem as Don did.

What came of my late night writings was this book, "The Nice Guy Cure". If you struggle to get your needs met because you are too nice, this book is for you. If you are tried of being taken advantage of, then this book is for you.

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How You Became So Nice

Now, the good news is that this isn't completely you're fault. It's often the result of taking bad advice to heart. Our society is so scared of masculinity that men are often shamed into being a "nice guy" or being socially ostracized.

Chances are you have been told to "be nice" or that women love "nice guys" your whole life. You may have had a mother that continually told you to "a good boy" throughout your whole childhood. Anytime you remotely acted in a manner pleasing to your needs, you may have heard, "is that how nice boys act?" Your mother may have brainwashed you into thinking that acting "nice" is the most important thing in the world, especially for boys.

You many have had a father who continually harped on treating women well and making sure you were a respectful young man. In theory, these are all good things. However, anyone with a drop of female psychology knowledge will know your dad's dating tips were severely outdated. Yet, dad was and you became the nicest guy you know because you didn't use a little skill called deductive reasoning.

You may have had sisters whom tried to impart you with knowledge of the female species. Or you could have had a best "girlfriend" in high school, which you would do "absolutely anything" for. You always hoped "absolutely anything" would one day mean copious amounts of sex, but you continually settled for the kiss on the cheek. When you asked these women in your life, woman who you care for deeply (and hopefully, vice versa), for dating advice they began to sputter off the party line. Things like "just be yourself" and "woman love a nice guy" where sure to have been spoken. Yet, these things never really worked for you and you couldn't figure out why.

Whatever you specific scenario is, you were born a man. You were not born a "nice guy", you became one. You got to where you are today through social programming designed to create men without much masculinity. This type of program was created to build sheep, not men who think for themselves and have the abilities to change the world.

If you're ready to break away from the pack and achieve your goals, continue reading. If you want to stay a nice guy forever, stop here. Go back to your life of never getting what you truly desire. Go back to getting stepped on and over by your wife, boss, girlfriend, family and more.

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Nice Guy Behavior Now before we can begin to help you solve this problem, we have to understand exactly what is going on. There are a number of nice guy behaviors. Some of them you probably know immediately. Other nice guy behaviors may surprise you. Some of these behaviors may be commonplace for you. Other of these actions may surprise you Here are some of the most common nice guy behaviors: Nice guys continually give to get appreciation and love. Nice guys always try to fix other people's problems without being asked. Nice guys do not like conflict. Nice guys want everyone to like and approve of them. Nice guys never want to show their true nature or any flaws. They are afraid of being judged. Nice guys think there is always a "right" way. They cannot see "grey" area. Nice guys are scared to show their true feelings. Nice guys relate to women better than to men. They feel they may be "different" from other men. Nice guys cannot put themselves first. Nice guys put too much emphasis into their girlfriend, wife or partner. Now I'm sure some of these things sound like good behaviors. You may be scratching your head as to why these behaviors are wrong. Well, it's because most of the time a nice guy is not showing his true colors. His behavior is inauthentic and thus, a lie.

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The Meaning of Nice Guy Behavior So what is actually wrong with nice guy behavior? Why should a nice guy changes his ways and become a better man? Well, it's mainly because a nice guy's actions rarely mean what they want you to think it does. Instead of doing something nice just because, a nice guy often has a different motive. Nice guys stay scheming. For example:

Nice guys are manipulative. Nice guys only give you something because they want something in return. Nice guys try to control others in a passive aggressive manner. Nice guys have a lot of pent up frustration. Nice guys struggle to say no or set a boundary. Nice guys struggle to form deep bonds with others due to their inauthenticity. Nice guys are often horrible listeners. Nice guys struggle with long term relationships. Nice guys are often uncomfortable with sexuality or have deepseated issues

surrounding sex. Nice guys rarely meet their full potential. So while many nice guys seem like genuinely good guys, they often have an agenda. This agenda is often controlling and manipulative. Nice guys usually don't actually care about you. No, they care about getting what they want. They just have no idea how to go about getting it.

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This leads to the pent up rage and anger many nice guys have. This leads to sabotaging any and all longterm relationships. Most people struggle to connect with another if that person is not being their true self. This leads to many nice guys feeling lonely and depressed because they have no true friends due to their nature.

The One Fix

While this news may sound bad for the nice guy, there is one big positive the nice guy can take away from this. Fixing the issue is not all that difficult. Instead of dealing with all these issue nice guys do on a daily basis, they can simply make one quick fix and they are done.

All a nice guy has to do to become the man he wants to be is to do what he actually wants. Stop worrying about what others think. Stop worrying about what other people want. Stop worrying about all the trivial details. Instead think about what do you want. The one fix a nice guy must make is to think about what pleases him. Stop thinking if you help or please someone they will return the favor. Instead go about life attempting to make yourself happy.

Now, this type of thinking probably makes many a nice guy squeamish. They have never thought that taking care of themselves first would endear them to the world. The nice guy has always attempted to operate on a "quid pro quo" system. However, that is not how the real world works. No, the real world is cutthroat. If you do not handle your needs, no one else will.

The nice guys wants to believe that others truly care about him, but he is not basing his life in reality. This is the source of his frustrations. If he is to truly be happy, he will stop his people pleasing ways immediately.

The nice guy will become ruthless in how he interacts with the world. He will put his wants and needs first, for probably the first time in a long time. This is the only way he will become happy.

Become a Man, Not a Nice Guy

However, if you have been a nice guy your whole life, you may be confused. You may not understand how to change your ways. Your manipulative beliefs may have you confused on what's wrong with your actions.

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A nice guy is not a man. He is a manipulator. His actions always have a desired end goal. A nice guy is apologetic if he gets caught in his manipulative ways.

A man is the opposite. Instead of trying to manipulate people, a man is open and honest about his wants and needs. He goes about his life being honest about how he wants to achieve his goals.

Becoming a true man means accepting you for whom you really are. Every aspect of you is what makes your unique nature and you accept that. A man has a strong sense of who he is. He likes everything about himself.

A man does not try to come off as a timid, nonsexual person. No, a man is comfortable in his own shoes. A real man is comfortable with his masculinity and his sexuality.

True man is a man who values right and wrong. He does things because his integrity tells him he should, not because it's the easy or fast way. This man is also a leader. He is not afraid to take charge and get things done. He is willing to protect and provide for those whom he cares for.

This man can be nurturing, but he doesn't try to solve every problem for everyone. This man knows how to set boundaries and isn't afraid of conflict. He will fight for what he believes in. He doesn't cater to others every whim.

Sex with a Man Vs. Sex with a Nice Guy

Now you probably understand more about what a nice guy is and what a true man looks like. A true man goes after what he wants unapologetically. A nice guy tries to weasel his way towards achieving his goals.

These traits occur in and out of the bedroom. And don't think women do not know this... Women know exactly what it's like to sleep with a man and what it's like to sleep with a nice guy. Not only that, she knows what she prefers. If you don't, lets play a game.

Do you think a woman wants to date a man who asks her if she's came yet?

Do you think women want to date a man who ask her what she likes while you're in the bedroom?

Do you think women like being with a man who can't take control? 6

Do you think women like a man who apologizes and goes down on her if he came to fast?

If you answered yes to any or all of the above questions, you are a nice guy in the bedroom.

This is not a good thing.

Think about how women talk about some of their best lovers...

It was never the guy who ate her out the best, longest, or most often. It was never the guy who always asked her what she wanted in bed It was never the guy actually cared about how she was feeling. Hell, it's rarely the man with the biggest penis they been with.

No, women always rave about lovers of the past that were true men. These men went after what they wanted. They brought passion to the bedroom. Instead of asking questions, these men grunted.

Instead of going down on her forever, the true man gave her a passionate night of sex that she craves. Sure, women like a generous lover, but it's not as important as most men think.

Women are wired different than us. Women find aloof confidence and a "not giving a shit" attitude in the bedroom incredibly sexy. Hell, some women can only cum if a man is about to come fast. This shows incredible attraction. Attraction begets attraction and thus, these girls can come almost instantly if a man she likes feels great attraction to her.

If you truly are a nice guy, I'd reckon almost everything you know about sex is wrong. Women want passion. Women want a strong fuck, the type of fuck most men (nice guys) are too scared to give them.

By giving a woman the type of sex she actually craves, you separate yourself from the pack. She no longer will see you as the nice guy to use and abuse. She will see you as a true man, as lover. She will respect you. She won't try to walk all over you. Now you may be confused...

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