TOSSUP-Sports



TOSSUPS – VATICAN II: JUDGMENT DAY TRASHMASTERS 2002 – UT-CHATTANOOGA

Questions by Steve Bahnaman with Gerry Tansey

1. The first one in professional history was from later Boston coach Chris Ford against Houston, and the first one in college would come in 1980 from Western Carolina’s Ronnie Carr, as W.C.U.'s Southern Conference led the charge for experimental rule allowing them. Bobby Hurley has more in the NCAA tournament than anyone in history, but Loyola Marymount’s Jeff Fryer has the tourney record for them in one game, with 11 against Michigan in 1990 in a system that was based heavily on their use. FTP, name this statistical category often associated in the pros with Craig Hodges and Dale Ellis, worth one hundred and fifty percent as much as a comparable action from inside a certain line.

Answer: three-point shot (accept clear-knowledge equivalents)

2. First released in 1968 on the artist's eponymous album, the location described for most of the song is actually a small European island, where the singer slept outside and watched a Scandinavian girl called Karin "watch the morning come." Constant imagery of sun and moon repeat themselves throughout the song, as the singer locates himself "on the dark side of the moon" even with a "holy host of others standin' 'round me." Geese in flight, dogs that bite, and signs that might be omens all say that he's "going, going, up and gone" to the title location in the southern U.S. FTP, name this song about a place where you can see the sunshine and feel the moonshine, described and longed for by James Taylor.

Answer: Carolina in My Mind

3. You control Thomas, who must rescue his girlfriend Sylvia. To do this you must deal with falling pots bearing snakes, fire-breathing dragons, and hovering disco-ball-looking things that explode. At the end of the various horizontal levels, you have to defeat a man with a big stick, a guy who throws boomerangs, a giant, a hunched-over guy who can disappear and reappear at will, and a martial arts expert named Mr. X. To top it all off, you must handle midgets who try to somersault and stomp on you. FTP, name this classic 80s video game which features you kicking, punching, jump-kicking, and jump-punching a lot of purple-clad guys who try to kill you by grabbing you and somehow sucking the life out of you.

Answer: Kung Fu Master (Note: The original stand-up video game was called "Kung Fu Master", but it was released for the NES as "Kung Fu.")

4. In the awful Fist of the North Star, a live-action remake of the classic anime film, he played a character named Stalin, a crazy leader of a motorcycle gang. Roles such as that have been par for the course in the career of this diminutive actor whose only real starring gig was as the kid in the TV series “Gentle Ben.” His appearances in the last 2 Austin Powers films as a guy named Johnson who utters a plug for Big Boy Restaurants haven’t gotten hm out of the shadow of his brother, with whom he appeared in a few episodes of the “Andy Griffith Show.” FTP, name this B-movie actor who has appeared in 101 films, mainly schlock, including the 2000 How the Grinch Stole Christmas, directed by his brother Ron.

Answer: Clint Howard

5. He was one of two finalists for the original hosting job on "Wheel of Fortune," but he lost out to Chuck Woolery. In 1992, he made a guest appearance on an episode of "Married with Children," during which members of Anthrax sang a few bars of a single he recorded with Connie Stevens. But he is best known for using words like "antsville" and "ginchiest" in his TV role as a parking attendant. FTP, name this actor who played the comb-wielding Kookie on "77 Sunset Strip," who should not be confused with the creator of The Brothers McMullen and Sidewalks of New York.

Answer: Edd Byrnes (accept Edward Byrne Breitenberger, but not without sadness)

(Reader's Note: The single was "Kookie, Kookie, Lend Me Your Comb")

6. At the beginning of the game, Russia has zero, Germany and the U.S. each have one, and Japan and the U.K. each have two, though the U.K. one located at Gibraltar is frequently bombed by Germany on their first turn. A useful special attack of theirs is the ability to add one bombardment attack that requires a die roll of 4 or lower to hit at the beginning of combat. They attack and defend at four, and like the other sea units have a movement rating of 2, but unlike their incarnation in another game, only one hit is required to sink them. FTP, name this unit from Axis and Allies that is more powerful than the Carrier, Submarine, and Transport, that takes up four grid squares in another, simpler naval combat game.

Answer: battleship

7. In this work, Fred Talbot receives notice of a paternity suit against him, which turns out to be a joke. Gene Brabender nails the author's shoes to the clubhouse floor. Joe Pepitone inserts a piece of popcorn under his foreskin and asks the trainer to cure his new venereal disease. The author throws a knuckleball almost exclusively, and he is traded from the Seattle Pilots to the Houston Astros. These events all occur in, FTP, what 1970 baseball diary by Jim Bouton?

Answer: Ball Four

8. It shares the same root as the English word for coagulated blood, which is a German word meaning “block of wood” that also spawned another English word meaning “stupid person” or “loose lump of dirt, as from a horse’s stride.” That original German word, like the Yiddish and now English word in question, has the alternate meaning of “a bumbler or fool,” but is more associated with people who are awkward. FTP, identify this Yiddish noun that does not, despite its sound, share any root with the word “clumsy,” the trait with which it is associated.

Answer: klutz (Note: The German word is “Klotz,” and the English word for dirt is “clod”)

9. TWO ANSWERS REQUIRED: Their paths have diverged significantly in the past 8 years, but they have remained close friends and, until its recent resolution, allies in a legal struggle over song rights. Their first writing credits with their best-known act came on the song "Scentless Apprentice," and the bassist has a credited accordion performance on the band's final Unplugged release. The bassist has since become mainly a political figure, outspoken against music censorship, as his new band Sweet 75 never quite made it. The drummer has been much more successful, touring with Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers before he was joined by ex-backup guitarist Pat Smear in his new band with such songs as "Big Me" and "Learn to Fly." FTP, name these two men who made up Nirvana's rhythm section.

Answer: Dave Grohl and Chris (or Krist) Novoselic

10. He directed only one film, 1954's La Langosta Azul, a black-and-white experimental silent film overshadowed by his later accomplishments as a writer. Phil Hartman played him in a Saturday Night Live sketch, in which he presented a Spirituality Award and in a rather poor accent declared the whole faux awards show to be "very embarrassing". He has appeared in four movies as himself and has writing credits for film adaptations, including The Widow Montiel, and Only Death is Bound to Come. FTP, name this screenwriter and novelist, whose Chronicle of a Death Foretold was adapted for the screen in 1987, and whose Love in the Time of Cholera was a major plot device in Serendipity.

Answer: Gabriel Garcia Marquez

11. They’re not LifeSavers, but in very low humidity, the inexplicably pink-colored wintergreen flavors of these will spark in the dark when broken. Why pink? Green was already taken by lime, but white is cinnamon and there is no red; purple is clove, black is licorice, orange is orange, and the most unique flavor is the brown chocolate variety. Admiral Byrd allocated a pound per week to each of his men in the Antarctic, and rumor has it that many of them died without ever comparing the flavor to chalk. Marketed by the New England Confectionery company, FTP, name these candy discs that come in wax-paper tubes.

Answer: Necco Wafers

12. In the 1981-82 season, three years after their entry into the league, they defeating Original Sixers Montreal and Boston en route to the conference finals behind Peter Stastny and Real Cloutier. Montreal would be responsible for three playoff series defeats, though, including a major defeat following this team's 1993 league-record single-season turnaround despite the efforts of Mats Sundin, Joe Sakic, and Adam Foote. They won the Northeast Division in the lockout-shortened 1995 year, and Peter Forsberg won the Calder Trophy as rookie of the year. But in the following summer their history ended forever, just before the organization won the 1996 Stanley Cup. FTP, name this Canadian hockey team and WHA alumnus that became the Colorado Avalanche.

Answer: Quebec Nordiques (accept either answer, prompt on "Nords")

13. Its sponsors included Bloat Beer and Savvy Indian Chewing Tobacco, formerly Savage Indian Chewing Tobacco. The network owner of this show tried various gimmicks to overturn sagging ratings, including hiring Kareem Abdul-Jabbar to pretend he was a ventriloquist with the usual host as his dummy, and hiring Rex Reed to replace the Pulitzer-Prize winning host once dubbed the Wittiest Man Alive. Jurassic Park II: Revenge of the Raptors and Ghostchasers III which featured a 100-foot-tall Ed Koch did not score high on the host's namesake thermometer, and the portly host absolutely hated The Cockroach King. FTP, name this show-within-a-show hosted by Jay Sherman, the focal point of many an episode of The Critic.

Answer: Coming Attractions with Jay Sherman

14. Many of the actors from the first film couldn't be bothered to reprise their roles, as Sandra Hess replaced Bridgette Wilson as a female soldier, Chris Conrad replaced Lindon Ashby as a movie star, and James Remar replaced Christopher Lambert as a semi-deity. Robin Shou, who obviously had nothing better to do, did return as the Shaolin-descended protagonist, and Talisa Soto made her way back as Princess Kitana. In the shaky-at-best plot, the characters return to Outworld to battle the forces of Shao Kahn, relying on kung fu and a steady diet of that loud techno music popularized by the original. FTP, name this 1997 kung fu sequel based on a video game featuring Sonya, Cage, Rayden, and Liu Kang.

Answer: Mortal Kombat: Annihilation

15. A Short Island Iced Tea mixes this with spiced rum, sour mix, and Coke. Or, switch the rum to Triple Sec and the Coke to Mountain Dew and make a Long Summer Night. Make a Vibrator by mixing it with Bailey’s, or a Terminator by mixing it with Jagermeister. With one part of it to three parts lemonade, over ice, you can make a cloudy-brown drink called a Bayou Backwater. However, this flavored liquor is best known for its ability to be mixed with just orange juice, vodka and orange juice, or sloe gin and orange juice to make some amusingly named drinks. FTP, name this peach-flavored bourbon from Little Rock, Arkansas, known for facilitating a certain leisurely type of “Screw.”

Answer: Southern Comfort

16. The song that plays under the credits, Cake’s Shadow Stabbing, which is about a writer, seems to have been selected appropriately for this film about a young writer who pithily observes that he has to go to college “Because that’s what you do after high school.” Harold Ramis appears as an admissions executive who gets high and tells Sean that “You’re my same height, that is neat,” while his older brother Lance is busy torching the admissions office. FTP, name this 2002 film directed by Lawrence Kasdan’s son Jake, and starring Tom Hanks’ son Colin.

Answer: Orange County

17. TWO ANSWERS REQUIRED: They never hooked up for a touchdown at Michigan, as the quarterback was sitting on the bench most of the 1997 season and the defensive back only played about one-fifth of the offensive snaps. After drastically different paths to the NFL, they would face one another in the snowy AFC Divisional Playoffs following the 2001 season, as the defensive back forced what appeared to be a fumble by the quarterback which was later reversed. This season, their paths crossed again as the Raiders took revenge on the Patriots in Week 11. FTP, name these Wolverine NFL rivals, the New England quarterback and star corner for Oakland.

Answer: Tom Brady and Charles Woodson

18. The album that followed it, Turn it Upside Down, contained only one minor hit, “You Let Your Heart Go Too Fast,” but that was after the band had lost most of its fans to grunge and new-rock bands. Apparently, this album’s infectious grooves on such tracks as “Refrigerator Car,” the hilarious “What Time is It?” and the aching “How Could You Want Him (When You Know You Could Have Me)” couldn’t keep their superpowers fueled. FTP, name this 1991 album whose title comes from “Jimmy Olsen’s Blues,” that also spawned the hits “Little Miss Can’t Be Wrong” and “Two Princes” for the Spin Doctors.

Answer: Pocket Full of Kryptonite

19. The bandleader, Senor Guantoleres Africantos Me Encantes, is always strumming his guitar, though the music is actually supplied by another cast member standing behind him in the three-person band. Guests on the show have included Sally Desk, who has written a book on lyme disease that the host thinks is a disease affecting limes, though as in all cases his interaction with her primarily consists of flirting, partially disrobing, and being told he is "too sexy" by Senor Guantoleres, played by Horatio Sanz. FTP, name this fake talk show on Saturday Night Live hosted and titled in broken English by Antonio Banderas, played by Chris Kattan.

Answer: The How Do You Say? Ah Yes...Show with Antonio Banderas

20. A classically trained actor named John Merrick played him, and he was the guest timekeeper at Wrestlemania II. People who encountered him in specific locations won prizes. Family members and friends urged him to try a certain product, as he apparently was the only person in America who had never done so. Otherwise, there was nothing remarkable about this balding man who wore glasses and highwater pants. FTP, name this fictional nerd, the star of a dismal mid-80's ad campaign by Burger King.

Answer: Herb

21. Jerome is a very young pitching prospect with the San Francisco Giants, who shares his full name with an NBA player and Georgetown grad. Jeff is a career minor leaguer who occasionally logs relief innings with the Dodgers. Dave is also a young pitcher, who threw well in 2001 but poorly in 2002 for the Pirates. Mike has found a job as the Pittsburgh closer, while a collapsed trade leaves Matt finishing up his career as Arizona's backup third baseman. FTP, give this last name ,common in other sports, but sported by only six current major leaguers, most notably Yankee outfielder Bernie.

Answer: Williams

22. Some rarely-important house rules include acquiring Triples, which cause players to instantly win the game, and the amusing Triple Six Rule that mandates all players to lose and the deck to be instantly burned. Many allow players to attempt to acquire four-in-a-row sequences, or the hated “sandwiches,” which means you can go after same-value cards even if they are separated by a card. Always violent, some house rules exist allowing you to hit a player’s hand as hard as possible if they are hovering in anticipation. FTP, name this popular card-acquisition game that gives players four chances to cover an ace, and allows them to slap to acquire doubles.

Answer: Egyptian Rat Screw or Slap Jack

23. Its namesake founder was actually born in a namesake Utah settlement in 1900, and his first foray into business was a nine-seat root beer stand in Washington, D.C. Later, he would acquire various restaurants and call them The Hot Shoppe, and expand his restaurant holdings with the Roy Rogers fast food chain. Better known, however, are the various services that began with an Arlington, Virginia Motor Inn in 1957. Now, you can stay at lower-priced motels called Fairfield Inn, the moderately-priced Courtyard, extended-stay Residence Inn, or upscale Marquis hotels under the name of, FTP, what Mormon hotel giant named J. Willard?

Answer: Marriott Hotels, Inc.

24. His father was a jazz trumpet player, and his style is heavily influenced by jazz roots; his first national TV appearance was on Ramsey Lewis' BET show "Bet on Jazz." That came after an underground career in the 1980s when he played with a Virginia fusion band called Secrets, which attracted a large following that included a certain South African expat and guitarist. Known for his adept cymbal work as well as his penchant for wearing hockey jerseys, his role as a pure rock drummer has been heightened since Before These Crowded Streets. FTP, name this drummer for the Dave Matthews Band.

Answer: Carter Beauford

25. Cool features in this game include the ability to edit your characters’ appearance using reasonably complex face-morphing techniques, and the “Create an Animation” feature allowing you to do just that. Actual gameplay has done away with the slow grappling of THQ’s many previous forays into the genre, and has become both quicker and more realistic. Move options include specific animations for different characters’ versions of the DDT and backdrop, and some really cool cheats like Tajiri’s Poison Mist. Season Mode allows you to take control of the career of favorites or heels such as Maven, Al Snow, Christian, Booker T., or Brock Lesnar, and Triple H and Stone Cold are special additions. FTP, name this latest WWE wrestling game.

Answer: WWE Smackdown (4): Shut Your Mouth

BONI – VATICAN II: JUDGMENT DAY TRASHMASTERS 2002 – UT-CHATTANOOGA

Questions by Steve Bahnaman with Gerry Tansey

1. Identify the following computer games by Sid Meier from brief clues, FTSNOP.

A. (5) Released by InfoGrames, this game added special units for each race, such as the Hoplite, the Elephant, and the F-15, as well as the game mechanic of Culture Points.

Answer: Civilization III

B. (5) Meier's first popular foray into computer gaming, this 1987 release let you choose your nationality and whether you wanted to be skilled at fencing, navigation, or three other special abilities.

Answer: Pirates!

C. (10) This underrated game from Firaxis had you taking control of one of seven humans who had ventured to the titular star system to colonize a new planet.

Answer: Alpha Centauri

D. (10) Sid Meier's first team-up with the Sim folks at Maxis resulted in this interesting but somehow quite pedestrian business simulation.

Answer: SimGolf

2. Answer the following about a college athletics program FTSNOP.

A. (10) What Big East school was Dick Vitale's alma mater?

Answer: Seton Hall University

B. (5 each) The greatest moment in Seton Hall Pirates basketball history was its 1989 NCAA tournament run, in which the team went to the final game and lost to Michigan 80-79 in overtime. After that, Seton Hall became a key supplier of worthless NBA basketball players. FFPE, name any two of the three future NBA players on that roster, none of whom made any appreciable impact in the league.

Answer: Andrew Gaze, John Morton, Anthony Avent

C. (10) Though the jury is still out on Eddie Griffin, the most successful Seton Hall draftee in recent memory may actually have been this unmemorable 1993 Clippers pick, the 13th draftee, a shooting guard plagued by awful field goal percentage in his years in the league.

Answer: Terry Dehere (da-HAIR)

3. Identify the following about the career of burgeoning young actor Orlando Bloom FTSNOP.

A. (5) Bloom won the not-particularly-influential Breakthrough Performance award at the 2002 MTV Movie Awards for his role in a holiday blockbuster. For 5 points each, name that film and the bow-wielding character he portrayed.

Answer: The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (accept title or subtitle); Legolas Greenleaf

B. (10) In addition to The Fellowship of the Ring, Bloom appeared in another Oscar-nominated 2001 film, with a bit part as Todd Blackburn. He utters the memorable line "Well I'm here to kick some ass."

Answer: Black Hawk Down

C. (10) Promising to be hideous, this Gore Verbinski film based on a Disney ride is set for 2003. In it, Bloom will play Will Turner alongside Johnny Depp as Jack Sparrow and Geoffrey Rush as Pirate Captain Barbossa.

Answer: Pirates of the Caribbean

4. Identify the following songs by the Barenaked Ladies FTPE.

A. Probably the most interesting song on their third release Born on a Pirate Ship, this clever and even haunting song about a skyscraper window cleaner contains the memorable line about the businessmen he's spying on, "They're frightened of jumping, in case they survive."

Answer: When I Fall

B. The second-biggest hit off their megahit 1998 album Stunt was this infectious musing about time travel, that details the history of a couple. The singer tells his lover "I knew you before the West was won and I heard you say the past was much more fun."

Answer: It's All Been Done

C. Reminiscing about childhood and pondering driving away, Ed Robertson states life is "Like a dream you try to remember but it's gone, then you try to scream but it only comes out as a yawn when you try to see the world beyond your front door."

Answer: Pinch Me

5. Name characters from Gilmore Girls, the best live-action show on TV, given random anecdotes from the show FTPE.

A. In episode 8, we learn that she "had a thing for the pirate guy," Errol Flynn, in her youth. She ended up marrying Richard, who says she wanted him "to swing from a chandelier." She is responsible for a huge amount of Lorelai's stress, because of her unwanted motherly advice.

Answer: Emily Gilmore (prompt on "Grandma")

B. This friend/acquaintance of Rory is the unbelievably type-A editor of the school newspaper that Rory's always stressing about. One memorable moment was when she was asked out by Jamie without even realizing it.

Answer: Paris Geller

C. She believes Yoko Ono was a very misunderstood artist, and that "the Beatles would have broken up anyways." She’s had fewer and fewer lines as the show has gone on, leaving fans to wonder what the heck happened to Rory's best friend.

Answer: Lane Kim

6. In one of the more bizarre statistical years in the 90s, the talent-weak and injury-decimated 1994 Pittsburgh Pirates had no players who played in more than 110 games and no one with more than 424 at-bats. Some paltry production numbers resulted. Identify the following hitters who factored into that weird season FTPE.

A. This shortstop was the games-played and at-bats leader, hitting .276 with 9 homers, TIED FOR SECOND PLACE ON THE TEAM, which pale in comparison to the 38 he hit as a Diamondback in 1999.

Answer: Jay Bell

B. A career platoon outfielder and/or DH with the Indians, Cubs, Royals, Pirates, Dodgers, Pirates again, Cubs again, and Astros, he played in only 86 games but still led the Bucs with 10 home runs. His .296 batting average led their regulars.

Answer: Dave Clark

C. Perhaps the biggest blow to the Pirates' success that year, this previously-consistent outfield producer who had hit .324 and .310 in 1992 and 1993 only mustered a pathetic .246 average with 6 home runs in 374 at-bats. It was his last season with the Pirates, as he would eke out a meager existence as an Oriole and Phillie before hanging it up after the '96 season.

Answer: Andy Van Slyke

7. Answer the following from the brilliant ring career of Bret "The Hitman" Hart FTSNOP.

A. (5) Bret began gaining favor as a member of the rule-breaking Hart Foundation, with what goatee-wearing partner?

Answer: Jim "The Anvil" Neidhart

B. (10) The first time Bret was turned from "bad guy" to "good guy" was at a 20-man battle royal at WrestleMania IV, when this heel double-crossed him by using his Ghetto Blaster back brain kick. Bret smashed the battle royal trophy over his head, and became a hero.

Answer: Bad News Brown

C. (10) A low point of Bret's career was a mid-90's feud with this pirate-gimmicked former member of the Quebecers, who was far below his level.

Answer: Jean-Pierre Lafitte

D. (5) Bret was the person the WWF used to advance the career of this man, who first dubiously eliminated Bret to win the 1997 Royal Rumble and later was defeated in an "I Quit" match at WrestleMania 13. In that match, Bret revealed a vicious streak and this man was catapulted into heroic stardom.

Answer: Stone-Cold Steve Austin

8. It spawned a computer game from Black Isle and one of the most popular fantasy characters in recent memory. FTSNOP, identify the following about the popular Icewind Dale Trilogy.

A. (10) In The Halfling's Gem, the final book in the series, which contains a memorable though fairly silly flying-chariot pirate fight, this drow elf protagonist finally sneaks a kiss from Catti-brie (catty-bree). He is the subject of the prequel Dark Elf Trilogy, and seems to show up in a lot of Dungeons and Dragons-based computer games.

Answer: Drizzt (DRIST) do'Urden

B. (10) The father-figure of the trilogy is this dwarf, who takes in Drizzt and Catti-brie, and forges the barbarian Wulfgar's magic hammer Aegis-fang.

Answer: Bruenor Battlehammer

C. (5) The Icewind Dale series was written by this solid but unspectacular fantasy author, who also penned the bestselling novelization of Star Wars: Attack of the Clones.

Answer: R(obert) A. Salvatore

D. (5) The Icewind Dale trilogy and Salvatore's Cleric Quintet form a large part of the canonical literature based on this Dungeons and Dragons universe, that also includes the figure of Elminster and the Baldur's Gate computer game series.

Answer: Forgotten Realms

9. In his various travels, by far the most tragically hokey of the restaurants Steve has ever had cause to patronize was a pirate-themed restaurant in the Colonial Zone of Santo Domingo, Dominican Republic called Pat'e Palo. Identify these other, less tearful things about Dominican cuisine, FTPE.

A. Dominicans serve and drink this national beer at the coldest temperature possible. Making inroads among American beer lovers, its smooth pilsner taste makes it compare favorably with European beers and dominate Mexican varieties.

Answer: Presidente

B. As an alternative to French fries, Dominicans eat fried plantains which have more flavor and a more pleasing texture than the potatoes available in the country. Those fried plantains are known by this name, which is an oxymoron since it is actually a form of the Spanish word for "toasted."

Answer: tostones (toas-TONE-ays)

C. The best meal in Santo Domingo is available at the Italian gourmet restaurant Vesuvio, where they serve an excellent ravioli stuffed with meat from this animal, called conejo in the D.R.

Answer: rabbit

10. The Stone Temple Pilots, named after an old STP sticker on their lead singer's bike, were almost called the "Stereo Temple Pirates." Identify the following about the politics behind that particularly fortuitous name change FTSNOP.

A. (10) STP had to change their name from this three-word moniker, because a blues singer in Chicago already used it. It was later the title of a 1998 Disney remake with Bill Paxton and Charlize Theron of a 1949 movie about an ape.

Answer: Mighty Joe Young

B. (5) While in the hot tub with drummer Eric Kretz, this lead singer of STP started the bike-sticker conversation while they were discussing possible band names. It was he who came up with "Stereo Temple Pirates" as a possibility.

Answer: Scott Weiland

C. (5 each) These two brothers, the bassist and guitarist for STP, averted disaster when they declared that they "weren't so sure about 'Pirates' or 'Stereo.'"

Answer: Dean DeLeo and Robert DeLeo

D. (5) "Stone Temple Pilots" was the final name the band chose to put on the cover of this 1992 debut album.

Answer: Core

11. Answer the following about various actors who appeared in one of the better made-for-TV movies, the 1990 TNT version of Treasure Island, FTSNOP.

A. (5) This veteran actor portrayed pirate-in-disguise Long John Silver.

Answer: Charlton Heston

B. (10) This talented young actor, who also appeared in Little Women and Empire of the Sun, played Jim Hawkins.

Answer: Christian Bale

C. (15) This son of a famous actor was tapped to direct the picture. He also directed the pedestrian 1993 Stephen King adaptation Needful Things.

Answer: Fraser Clarke Heston

12. The scourge of pirate Jean Lafoote, Cap'n Crunch has created a unified cereal culture all his own, eliminating genetically deficient Soggies from our now eugenically-sound collective full bowl of sugary goodness. Identify the following from food-related experiences from Mein Krunch, a biography of the Cap'n written by Steve Bahnaman, FTPE.

A. As a child, li'l Crunch decided that he only liked crunchy sugary food after he trick-or-treated for a purple box of these white-and-purple licorice-flavored candies now marketed by Hershey. "These taste terrible!" he said, and spat them out, staining his favorite blue uniform. "I don't care what Charlie the Choo-Choo says!" Many believe that it was that very day when he resolved to create a united, crunchy master race of cereal.

Answer: Good 'n' Plenty

B. Like most good fascist dictators, Cap'n Crunch is rarely seen without his blue military uniform. In the mid-90s, though, the Cap'n took a page from Castro's book, donning a baseball uniform to promote this themed brand of cereal. When fascists do sports, however, it rarely goes over well; consumers spat out the too-sugary bats and balls, sometimes in favor of Cap'n's hated rival, Cocoa Puffs. The embarrassment was soon discontinued.

Answer: Home Run Crunch

C. A secret known only to his closest friends, the Cap'n is actually quite fond of healthy cereal, as long as it is crunchy. He receives secret shipments of this natural wheat-and-barley cereal from Post, hoarding it in the bowels of the ship from which he controls the nation. Like many, he prefers them mixed with yogurt, finding that the enclosed heating directions lead them to be far too soggy for his elevated palate.

Answer: Grape-Nuts

13. Name the following G.I. Joe characters from information about them on the filecard that came with each toy, FTPE.

A. Really named Morgan Teach, this Dreadnok Pirate is a Cayman Island native named after a different island group. He got his break when he delivered some bootleg gasoline to Zartan.

Answer: Zanzibar

B. This Joe Arctic Trooper was an Olympic Biathlon contender who entered the service to train for the event. He has a bright orange beard, and his name is a double entendre for his role in the arctic and his reputation as a con artist.

Answer: Snow Job

C. From the cajun back-swamps of Louisiana, this Marine's real name is Ettienne LaFitte. He played a major role on the TV show, more often than not saving the team with his fearless, though sometimes reckless, charges into battle.

Answer: Gung Ho

14. East coast to the core, Steve's favorite rap group of the early 1990s was certainly Naughty By Nature. Identify these tracks by Kay Gee, Treach, and Vinny FTPE.

A. The only major hit off of 1995's record Poverty's Paradise was this track, the first .mp3 Steve ever downloaded off Napster and therefore the first pirated piece of music he ever owned. The title immediately follows the catchy refrain "So here we go now, holla if ya hear me though, come and..."

Answer: Feel Me Flow

B. The third and most vulgar word signified by the title of this track is defined as "another way to call a cat a kitten." Naughty By Nature's first hit, they claim that "Every last homie" is "down with" the titular...whatever it is.

Answer: O.P.P. (Which stands for "Other People's"...you know)

C. This infectious 1993 party anthem was Naughty By Nature's other biggest hit. Vinny busts out with "You drew a picture of my morning but you couldn't make my day / I'm rocking and you're yawning but you never look my way / I'm licking down you darling in every single way / Your funny flow is foreign and a green card's on the way" before launching into yet another catchy refrain of "Hey...ho...Hey...ho..."

Answer: Hip Hop Hooray

15. Identify these members of the NFL Draft Class of 2002 who now find themselves holding clipboards as backup quarterbacks, FTPE.

A. This big East Carolina Pirate may have hurt himself by producing less offense each year he stayed in school. He was picked up in the fourth round and sits behind Mark Brunell of the Jacksonville Jaguars.

Answer: David Garrard (Feel free to pronounce his name GarrARRRRd, if you like)

B. Out of Sam Houston State, this Div One-double A All-Americanformer transfer from SMU has a brother, Randy, who threw for Texas A&M. He backs up always-shaky Jake Plummer in Arizona.

Answer: Josh McCown

C. This Fighting Illini QB led Illinois to a Big Ten title, and was rewarded by being placed behind two young QBs, Michael Vick and Doug Johnson with the Falcons.

Answer: Kurt Kittner

16. One of the eighties' most enduring contributions to Trash lore was The Princess Bride, which provided such memories as the Rodents of Unusual Size and the Dread Pirate Roberts. Given a sample of snappy dialogue from that film, name the two characters speaking it, FTSNOP.

A. Character 1-"Go away or I'll call the Brute Squad!"

Character 2-"I'm on the Brute Squad!"

Character 1-"You are the Brute Squad!"

Answer: Miracle Max and Fezzik

B. Character 1-"But, I promise I will not kill you until you reach the top."

Character 2-"That's very comforting, but I'm afraid you'll just have to wait."

Character 1-"I hate waiting. I could give you my word as a Spaniard."

Character 2-"No good. I've known too many Spaniards."

Answer: Westley (or the "Man in Black") and Inigo Montoya (accept either name)

C. Character 1-"No more rhymes now, I mean it."

Character 2-"Anybody want a peanut?"

Answer: Vizzini and Fezzik

17. One of the sadder stories of Steve's undergraduate career at Emory was the demise of beloved cover band "Paul and Dave," who were a heck of a lot of fun to listen to until they began insisting on playing their own original music, which contained such high-quality lines as "I would have made a great pirate / With my eyepatch and my peg leg I'd be all decked out on main deck." Before he was nearly forced to kill himself by such drivel, Steve used to enjoy listening to their versions of random songs. Name these songs he enjoyed, 5-10-20-30.

A. A quintessential favorite of Paul and Dave supporters was this Foundations soul classic, that professed "You want a toy but I could be the boy you adore, if you'd just let me know." Paul was known for doing what appeared to be a Fat Albert impersonation on the "Hey Hey Hey" backing vocals.

Answer: Build Me Up Buttercup

B. Likewise a favorite among intoxicated undergrads was this crooner classic, that tells the beloved title character "And when I hurt, hurtin' runs off my shoulders / How can I hurt when I'm with you?"

Answer: Sweet Caroline

C. Steve's personal favorite among Paul and Dave fare was their speedy version of this Cake song that had Paul moving his fingers all over the place for the difficult guitar lick, and belting out "When she walks, she swings her arms instead of her hips."

Answer: Let Me Go

D. One of the more amusing moments at every Paul and Dave show was their acquiescence to supply this Southern Rock classic, invariably requested by a bar regular known as "Hollywood," a white-bearded old man who always occupied the same end-of-the-bar seat. One time, they actually medleyed it into "For What It's Worth" by Buffalo Springfield featuring Neil Young, who "A southern man don't need...around anyhow."

Answer: Sweet Home Alabama

18. Roleplaying games by SquareSoft tend to feature random and extraneous cultural references, nowhere more apparent than in the names of some of the characters. Name these, FTPE.

A. Sharing his name with a British philosopher, this thief...er...treasure hunter is the male lead in Final Fantasy VI.

Answer: Locke

B. It is likely not a coincidence that this animal-attacking cavewoman from Chrono Trigger shares her name with the cavewoman protagonist of Jean M. Auel's Shelters of Stone.

Answer: Ayla

C. Okay, so this was entirely a coincidence, but this male...er...female pirate captain from Final Fantasy V has a name that is a homophone of the main character of an essential 80's movie.

Answer: Faris

19. Answer the following about some recent TV commercials that irritate Steve during his Friends reruns, FTSNOP.

A. A certain financial services company has proliferated credit card commercials featuring unsuspecting consumers about to be attacked by yeti, cowboys, or pirates until the assailants find out that their prospective victims actually have new "no hassle" cards. 5 for one, 15 for both, name that company and the 4-word question/slogan spoken by the retreating attackers at the end of each commercial.

Answer: Capital One ; "What's In Your Wallet?"

B. Really annoying commercials featuring gymnasts and other athletes tumbling out of an overturned bottle of new "fitness water" ask the annoying question "What if BLANK made water?" 5 for one, 15 for both, name the parent brand and the new fitness water product line featured in these ads.

Answer: Gatorade ; Propel

20. Watching reruns of Just Shoot Me on Atlanta's WB36, Steve saw an episode called "The Pirate of Love" that was just perfect for this bonus set. Answer the following FTSNOP.

A. (5) This character, still lovelorn for his ex-wife, attends a sexaholic group meeting with Nina and discovers that his ex-wife has a fantasy where he sneaks into her room dressed as a pirate and has his way with her.

Answer: Dennis Finch (accept either answer)

B. (5-10) Finch's ex-wife is really only doing research for a part in a movie, a fact Finch soon discovers when he shows up at her house in full pirate garb, only to find she has brought home her boyfriend, a S.W.A.T. team member. For 5 points, name the actress who portrays Finch's ex-wife, and for 10 points, name the character she plays.

Answer: Rebecca Romijn-Stamos plays Adrienne Barker (accept either name for Adrienne)

C. (10) The other subplot of this episode involves Elliott, who is torn between Jack and Maya over whether he should buy any of a certain food product for a school fundraiser for Jack's daughter. What general type of food Elliott addicted to?

Answer: cookies

21. Identify these books from every geek kid's favorite, the Choose Your Own Adventure series 5-10-20-30.

A. The titular location in this first book in the series could transport you through history. It was made into a Commodore-64 game. Its sequel, The Forbidden Castle, sent you to medieval Europe, and the 50th book in the series was called Return to it.

Answer: The Cave of Time

B. This hilarious book spoke of space-pirate aliens who placed you in the titular spacecraft and took you to try to sell to a space circus of sorts. The craft strangely shares its numerical designation with an important rallying cry from U.S. history about the Canadian border.

Answer: Inside UFO 54-40

C. One of the more original books in the series, book #45 cast you as the titular cartilaginous fish, and you changed between various animal forms in the process of solving the adventure.

Answer: You Are a Shark

D. Fast and entertaining, book #8 placed you in the titular Old West setting and had you running from bandits and getting scared in a ghost town.

Answer: Deadwood City

22. Name these Harrison Ford movies from the villains he squared off against, FTSNOP.

A. (10) "Pirate," "Pirate," and "Pirate," all of whom pursue him around a deserted South Pacific island.

Answer: Six Days, Seven Nights

B. (5) Rene Belloq, and the sadistic Toht.

Answer: Raiders of the Lost Ark

C. (10) Colombian drug lord Ernesto Escobeda.

Answer: Clear and Present Danger

D. (5) Frederick Sykes, sometimes Deputy Marshal Samuel Gerard

Answer: The Fugitive

23. Given a list of teams, name the following current minor-league sports organizations FTPE.

A. Portland Pirates, Norfolk Admirals, Milwaukee Admirals, Houston Aeros

Answer: American Hockey League

B. Roanoke Dazzle, Mobile Revelers, Asheville Altitude, North Charleston Lowgators

Answer: National Basketball Development League

C. Indianapolis Indians, Norfolk Tides, Rochester Red Wings, Louisville Bats

Answer: International League (of Triple-A Minor League Baseball)

24. Identify the following board or card games that geeks play when they're not playing Magic: The Gathering or Dungeons and Dragons FTPE.

A. The Seafarers expansion to this wonderful game added a pirate to the sea hexes framing the main land mass, and the ability to build ships to procure gold. Gold was tradeable for the original five resources of wheat, wood, brick, ore, and livestock.

Answer: Settlers of Catan

B. You could buy yellow and blue sets of marbles to allow up to four players to play this Chinese Checkers alternative, or simply use the white and black sides to push up to six of the other player's marbles off the board by setting up a Sumito.

Answer: Abalone

C. Many geeks have wasted valuable role-playing time by getting embroiled in drawn-out territorial conflicts in this war game, like the time Steve and his friend Fish each used up almost their entire navies, including 4 battleships each, in a battle over the two-I.P.C. territory of Alaska.

Answer: Axis and Allies

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