The Emotional Affair Journey Mini Course

The Emotional Affair Journey Mini Course

By Doug & Linda Emotional Affair Journey

Welcome to our Infidelity mini course--the PDF version! We hope that you can gain a lot of value and knowledge from this brief course.

To claim your bonus special report: "Togetherness: Keys to Making it Happen in Your Relationship" just follow the link below:



We hope that you will find this course informational and valuable as you try to survive an extramarital affair. Throughout this mini-course we will discuss the various aspects of affair for both the betrayed and the betrayer's perspective.

What we know, with the benefit of hindsight, is the more you understand about infidelity and why it happens the better prepared you are to deal with it and the greater your chances are of surviving it.

The mini course offers the following segments:

Part 1 - What is Infidelity? Part 2 - Causes of Infidelity Part 3 - Preventing Infidelity Part 4 - Maintaining Honesty in your relationship Part 5 - Warning Signs of an Affair Part 6 - How To Cope When You Discover Your Partner's Affair Part 7 - Admitting Your Affair And How To Cope Afterwards Part 8 - How To Live And Deal With The Aftermath Of An Affair

We are uniquely qualified to discuss this subject because we are living proof that you can survive an affair and come out of it with a much stronger marriage as long as you are willing to work at it. If you are familiar with our blog, Emotional Affair Journey, then you know that Doug had an emotional affair with a co-worker, and we use that platform to try and help others who may be suffering from an affair--either emotional or sexual.

If at anytime, you have any questions or want to contact us, feel free to do so at help@

OK...Enough of the introductions. Let's get on with the first part of the course:

What is Infidelity?

Infidelity - The Facts The facts about marital infidelity are astounding. Polls show that although 90% of married people disapprove of extramarital relationships, statistics from a national survey indicate that 15% of wives and 25% of husbands have experienced extramarital intercourse. These numbers increase by 20% when emotional affairs and sexual relationships without intercourse are included. Another source, "The Monogamy Myth," authored by Peggy Vaughan, approximates that 60% of husbands and 40% of wives will have an affair at some time in their marriage.

What is infidelity? OK, well that's great, but just what is infidelity anyways? Wikkipedia offers the following definitions for the different types of infidelity:

"Infidelity is a violation of the mutually agreed-upon rules or boundaries of an intimate relationship, which constitutes a significant breach of faith or a betrayal of core shared values with which the integrity of the relationship is defined. In common use, it describes an act of unfaithfulness to one's husband, wife, or lover, whether sexual or non-sexual in nature.

There are two areas in a close relationship where infidelity mostly occurs: physical intimacy and emotional intimacy. Infidelity is not just about sex outside the relationship, but about trust, betrayal, lying and disloyalty. What makes infidelity so painful is the fact that it involves someone deliberately using deception to violate established expectations within a relationship.

Sexual infidelity refers to sexual activity with someone other than the partner one is committed to. Sexual infidelity in marriage is called adultery or an affair and in other interpersonal relationships it may be called cheating.

What constitutes an act of infidelity varies between and within cultures and depends also on the type of relationship that exists between people. Even within an open relationship, infidelity may arise if a partner to the relationship acts outside of the understood boundaries of the relationship.

Emotional Infidelity refers to emotional involvement with another person, which leads one's partner to channel emotional resources such as romantic love, time, and attention to someone else. With the association of multi-user dimensions the level of intimate involvement has extended from in-person involvement to online affairs."

Though this definition is very accurate, we know that in reality infidelity means different things to different people. It may be different for every couple. Every couple, in the beginning of an intimate, committed relationship and ideally before marriage, should have the infidelity discussion. Out of this discussion should come a clearly defined understanding about what constitutes infidelity for the two of them.

For example, at one extreme is the couple who may agree that anything short of actual intercourse outside the relationship is fine with them or another couple who agrees that anything is fine including sex outside the relationship (e.g., swingers, swappers, open-marriages, etc).

At the other extreme is the couple where nothing even vaguely sexual about anyone outside the relationship is allowed, so there can be no open discussions of "attractions" or someone coming on to either other one. Then there is all the middle ground between these two extremes. The most important thing is that both individuals' perspectives are fully taken into account in forming a firm definition of what infidelity means in their relationship. Then it becomes important to strictly adhere to those views.

Anything that deviates from what was condoned by both is clearly over the line and there can be no excuses if the line is crossed.

Don't forget to discuss and define the important areas of emotional infidelity, internet infidelity, and other such subtle forms of behavior that can feel like a betrayal to one or both partners.

In other words, be explicit about everything thereby avoiding the incorrect assumptions and future pitfalls that may follow from implicit understandings.

It is never too late to have this discussion; all couples would be wise to take a few minutes to check out their assumptions and implied understandings about this issue. Another factor to keep in mind is that these parameters are not carved in stone and may change for one or both partners as life events unfold.

Marital Infidelity - The Truth The New Encyclopedia Britannica reports that, "adultery seems to be as universal and, in some instances, as common as marriage." In fact, marriage researcher, Zelda West-meads, states that although much adultery is never discovered, "all the evidence points to affairs being on the increase."

This evidence is shocking, but what is even more alarming is that it does not even come close to exposing the strong emotional impact that marital infidelity

has on people's lives--the inconsolable grief and pain, not to mention the confusion, anxiety, and sleepless nights that are all wrapped up in these facts.

When all is out in the open, the faithful spouse may survive the nightmare, but his or her scars will not easily heal, and the damage done to the marriage may never be completely repaired. Extra marital affairs can also take its toll in some long-term consequences that both spouses will have to deal with for many years, such as sexually transmitted diseases and pregnancy.

In signing up for this mini-course, we are assuming that you are currently suffering from the effects of an affair. Understanding exactly what infidelity is, why the infidelity happened, and being able to discuss it openly is critical if you are to move forward from your current crisis point.

If you only address the symptom of the infidelity (how to get over it) rather than the cause (why it happened) statistics prove that it will probably happen again at some point in the future.

The main reason why we were able to get through our nightmare and put our marriage problems firmly behind us is because we learned how to communicate openly about everything and address the fundamental causes of our problems.

Well, that's it for the first lesson. We hope that you enjoyed it. Next is round two: Causes of Infidelity.

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