WHAT DOES LOVE LOOK LIKE



WHAT DOES LOVE LOOK LIKE?

“It DOES NOT Envy”

• 1 Corinthians 13:4 “Love is patient love is kind. Love does not ENVY…”

• To recap…Love patiently ENDURES and is LONG-SUFFERING when it is provoked…Love is KIND meaning that it is serviceable, good, and useful to others it hopes to make things easier for them………..so after telling us two things that love IS…Paul next tells us what Love ISN’T!

• Sometimes the best way to say what something IS, is to say what it ISN’T…EX: how would you describe what “smooth” is?...probably you would say it is something without bumps and cracks and rough spots….bumps and rough spots are NOT what “smooth” is///but what “smooth” isn’t!

• The point is…sometimes we can really only grasp what something is by seeing its OPPOSITE and by knowing what it ISN’T!

• So…after telling us 2 things that Love IS…Paul gives us a list of EIghT things that love IS NOT…

• The first thing on this list is ENVY….PRIDE is usually considered the first sin of man…but ENVY is kinda a partner with PRDIE…

• Satan ENVIED God and then he tempted Adam and Eve to ENVY God…Satan said that they could be like God knowing good and evil…In other words…’God has something you do not have, but it can be yours if you do what I say’… WHY DID HE DO THIS? …could it be that Satan ENVIED Adam and Eve and their perfect happiness and the fact that they now had everything he lost in the fall…they had God’s attention and His LOVE!!!!????

• ENVY makes SELF the center of focus…and THAT opens the door to all sin….

• BEFORE WE GET TOO FAR INTO IT….lets define it:

• ENVY is that passion which causes us to feel uneasiness at the sight of another's possessions or happiness—and which makes us dislike him on that account….. Of all the yucky passions, this is the YUCKIEST AND MEANEST AND NASTIEST. …—the most direct OPPOSITE of love.

• ENVY is the translation from the Greek word “phthonos”….it not only means the “feeling of displeasure produced by witnessing or hearing of the advantage or prosperity of others”…but it is also defined as “having hatred or ill-will; a resentful dislike of another who has something that one desires”

• EVERYTIME the Greek word “phthonos” is used…it is always used in an EVIL sense. There are 9 New Testament verses that use the word ENVY for the Greek word “phthonos” (Matt. 27:18, Mark 15:10, Romans 1:29, Gal. 5:21, Phil. 1:15, 1 Tim. 6:4, Titus 6:4, James 4:5, 1 Peter 2:1)

• There are 6 more verse of Scripture in the New Testament that use the word ENVY besides these I just listed…BUT the Greek word for ENYY in these verses is “ZELOS”…that Greek word means “zeal or jealousy” but it is translated ENVY in the KJV….other versions translate it is the word “JEALOUSY” (Acts 13:45, Romans 13:13, 1 Corin 3:3, 2 Corin. 12:20, James 3:14,16)

• The difference is that ENVY desires to deprive another of what he has…JEALOSUY desires to have the same of the same sort of thing for itself. ENVY and JEALOUSY are not to be used interchangeably because they come from two different Greek words. JEALOUSY can produce an admirable devotion to what is pure and holy. PHTHONOS is ALWAYS an ugly word that denotes “envy, Ill-will, or malice”

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• ENVY can either be general or specific…GENERAL is that the person who envies just simply has it out for anyone or anything they hear that is GOOD…they may not even know the person…but they are FEARFUL that THAT person has something that is superior to them, therefore they ENVY….these people can’t bear to see happiness or joy or blessings on ANYONE…they don’t even like to hear someone TELL someone else “Good Job!”…they surely don’t like it when someone has some kind of recognition for something they accomplished….or maybe the person is physically good looking, people hate that!....or the poor envy the rich…or someone in their same type of work made some kind of incredible breakthrough…and so therefore, we envy that person…even though we don’t even know them!

• SPECIFIC because it is aimed at a particular person or group of people…especially toward people that we see as being nearly on our own level (teachers envying other teachers, singers envying other singers, youth pastors envying other youth pastors, etc…)….OR toward people who are much above us, that occupy some position that we no longer occupy…Or toward those people that have obtained an honor, or place that WE once contended for…….ooooooooooooooooooooo

• This nasty ENVY even shows itself in churches of the same denomination…..other churches don’t seem to like to hear about it when one church is prospering in one area…simply because they are prospering!...They can’t even seem to HEAR about another church’s success without feeling uneasy …as if something “bad” was done to THEM…so they talk smack on that church and they sneer at it….that is ENVY!

• Notice that Paul puts ENVY before pride in this list of what love ISN’T because ENVY leads to allllllllllllllllllllllll that is UNLOVING….

• EX: Cain killed Abel and became the first criminal in history because he ENVIED his brother

• ENVY… like maliciousness jealousy and hatred is the root of a BITTER SPIRIT…. Cain has a bitter spirit and ENVY is totally comfortable hanging out there. …

• Á bitter spirit is not only bad in itself but it can poison the lives of others….remember Hebrews 12:15 "Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of Good lest any root of bitterness spring as to trouble you and thereby many are defiled.”

• Do you have a bitter spirit? …Are you like Cain in your heart wishing to do harm to someone else? …Sometimes we try to hide the fact that we have a bitter spirit by saying that it is simply hurt feelings.

• What do you ENVY from your brother or sister in Christ? Do you envy her relationship with God or her position in the church? Are you jealous of their family or their bank account? Do you have a bitter spirit because things have not gone your way? Do you feel you were mistreated?...those things will welcome a BITTER spirit into your life where ENVY will feel right at home.

• ANOTHER EX: ….Joseph’s brothers ENVIED him because of his relationship with his father so they sold him into slavery (Acts 7:9 “And the patriarchs, moved with envy, sold Joseph into Egypt: but God was with him.”)

• EX: …Saul wanted to kill David because he ENVIED David’s popularity…just like the yuck leaders wanted to kill Jesus because they ENVIED His popularity…1 Samuel 18:9 “And from that day Saul was looking with envy on David.”

• Saul really ENVIED David when David would react with wisdom and he prospered…1 Samuel 18:30 “…And so it was, whenever they went out, that David behaved more wisely than all the servants of Saul, so that his name became highly esteemed.”….when David prospered, it ANGERED Saul that much more!

• When a person becomes that full of ENVY…there are some things you can look for: look for that person to be UNREASONABLE. (take Saul for instance, he could have still been a good king, but he chose to “come apart” and become unreasonable in everything he did!)…..people full of envy also are full of INGRATITUDE…David killed that giant Goliath when no one else would even dare to try, god helped David defeat him…he fought other battles that Saul sent him out to fight, and he even played his harp to sooth the distressing Spirit of Saul…so where is Saul’s gratitude?....when you are FULL OF ENVY, there is NO GRATITUDE!

• THINK ABOUT IT: the number one cause for all non-loving behavior in human relationships is ENVY….

• ANTOHER EX: Adi and Cohen…when one of them sits on my lap and the other is playing happily…but as soon as the other one sees that one is on my lap, they start throwing a fit until they are both on my lap…it’s not really that they want me so bad…it’s just that they don’t want the other one to have me to their self….LOL

• EX: same thing goes for kids and toys…kids fight over one toy even though there are millions of others in the room…not because they necessarily want it, but because they don’t want the other kid to have it…they are motivated by ENVY…for as soon as one loses interest in the toy the other will no longer crave it either….THIS STUFF STARTS YOUNG!!!!

• IT’S TIME TO GIVE UP CHILDISH THINGS AND BECOME MATURE GROWN-UP CHRISTIANS!...Maturity is the ability to NOT NEED what somebody else has to be content…

• This is NOT an easy thing EMOTIONALLY…it’s difficult to LOVE instead of being ENVIOUS

• You might say, well…that’s tough because we live in a world where there is MUCHO inequality…people don’t get equal breaks…some people have better looks, better health, more wealth, and it may even SEEM like other people may have more spiritual gifts then we do…..and WE DON’T LIKE IT!....It seems unjust and unfair and it easily leads to ENVY…because we start thinking that we are INFERIOR and not worth anything…

• SIDENOTE HERE:…..Let’s talk for just a few minutes about this feeling of INFERIORITY…when a person feels less worthy than others…this person always comes up with powerful defense mechanisms to help her HIDE these feelings of inferiority from others and even from themselves…some of these mechanisms are started in our subconscious mind and so we may never really be aware that we are using these things to try to hide something…

• So…..if you find yourself ENVYING others…the cause may be from feelings of INFERIORITY that you may or may not be aware that you have…these feelings may show themselves in these ways…

o OVER COMPENSATION…this is the most famous defense mechanism people use to hid their inferiority feelings…they act superior…while they are acting superior, they will also devalue anybody who doesn’t treat them as if they WERE superior…as they do this, they protect their ego by considering anybody who doesn’t think that they are superior, WORTHLESS

o SUCCESS TALK…because these people believe there is something wrong with them, they build walls around them that prevents people from seeing their IMAGINARY flaws. These barriers can be outstanding performance, impressive success stories, fame, power, etc…The more the person builds these barriers, the less likely someone will question his competence. After all, if a person seems to be extremely successful, then no one will take time to examine her flaws…

o EXCESSIVE ANXIETY…if the person who feels inferior doesn’t have time to build these barriers…then the subconscious mind of the person makes him become excessively anxious. Whenever the person encounters people who MIGHT remind him of this inferiority…she will choose to avoid those people like the plague

o OVERSENSITIVITY TO CRITICISM…people who deal with inferiority have a very difficult time dealing with criticism because they feel that criticism is a successful attempt to discovering their real flaws and that’s why this person can never handle criticism….this person feels so much time building walls to hide their IMAGINARY flaws that when someone criticizes them, the person feels really, really bad

o EXCESSIVE SHOWING OFF…because he is trying to make others believe that he is WORTHY…the reason the showing off is excessive is because this person believes that everybody is looking down on him and so he has to do a counter action to improves his perceived image

o DEVALUING OTHERS…have you ever been in a classroom or attended a conference or lecture and there is someone in the audience that knows nothing, but that tries to prove the speaker wrong??...usually it’s the person that feels inferior…and that person feels threatened whenever he considers anybody superior to him is around…so the most obvious defense mechanism to him is to devalue that “superior person” at ANY cost

• O MY GOODNESS….have you ever had any of these feelings…?...Have you ever found yourself using any of these defense mechanisms????

• How did this happen to us??? Why do we sometimes feel this way???...well, THESE THINGS WERE LEARNED…mainly because the society we live in seems to value beauty, brains, and money and we seem to always compare ourselves to those who have these things…

• Saul got all caught up and obsessed into thinking that he was INFERIOR…especially when it came to the women singing a song about him and David…

• The women sang “Saul has slain his thousands, but David his tens of thousands.”

• So Saul starts thinking that he is no longer a hero and that he was nothing…when in reality, even if David passed him up in “hero-ness”, Saul could’ve still been a great king and hero….BUT…he let ENVY take over his life and all that mattered to him was the total DESTRUCTION of David!!!

• Can you say SCREWED-UP-NESS!!!!...It eventually led to Saul’s INSANITY and DESTRUCTION and DEATH!

• No wonder Paul put ENVY at the front of the list of things that love IS NOT!!!!

• Even the children of Israel had this INFERIORITY THING going on for a bit…they even said they were “grasshoppers”…Numbers 13:33 “We seemed like grasshoppers in our own eyes, and we looked the same to them.”

• SO……….how do we overcome this INFERIOR GRASSHOPPER THING?....we need to remind ourselves of WHO WE ARE IN CHRIST!!!! We need to remind ourselves HOW GOD SEES US!

• PASS OUT HANDOUT ON DECLARATIONS

• OTHER THINGS WE CAN DO TO OVERCOME INFERIORITY:

o Don’t dwell on your background…after all, you are a NEW creation in Christ

o Remember that you serve a BIG GOD who watches over you and He never sleeps or slumber…remember that He sees incredible potential in you…even when you fail!

o Avoid friends who NEVER encourage you…know the difference between those who ADVISE you and those who mock you…look for genuine friends who can advise you!...even Nehemiah had to deal with these types of people when he was rebuilding the walls of Jerusalem “This wall is so weak that even if a fox jumps over it, it will collapse.” (Nehemiah 4:1-3)

o Remember that you are UNIQUE…you have what others don’t have…that’s why we all need each other and we should value each other!

o Remember that you are made in the likeness of God…so don’t go around undermining the work of God by looking down in yourself!

o Quit comparing yourself to others! The Bible says to NOT do that…2 Corinthians 10:12 “Oh, don't worry; we wouldn't dare say that we are as wonderful as these other men who tell you how important they are! But they are only comparing themselves with each other, using themselves as the standard of measurement. How ignorant!”…check out how The Message Bible translates this verse in Galatians…Galatians 5:26 “That means that we will not compare ourselves with each other as if one of us were better and another worse. We have far more interesting things to do with our lives. Each of us is an original”

o Realize that beauty on the outside doesn’t make you happy….Marilyn Monroe was thought to be so beautiful, but she was miserable on the inside and so she took her own life…look what the Bible says …1 Peter 3:3-4 “Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty that depends on jewelry, or beautiful clothes, or hair arrangement. Be beautiful inside, in your hearts, with the lasting charm of a gentle and quiet spirit that is so precious to God.”

o BE GRATEFUL…you an go through life bitter and resentful, envying everyone else…or you can accept yourself and be thankful! Gratitude is happy thankfulness toward God…Gratitude gets you out of yourself and into GOD…God becomes the source of your happiness. Then you can get on with the real purpose of life…being what GOD wants you to be!

• REMEMBER: God is the Creator of all things…and He didn’t make any junk!

• David says it like this in Psalms…

• Psalm 139:13-18 (The Living Bible) “You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body, and knit them together in my mother’s womb. Thank You for making me so wonderfully complex! It is amazing to think about. Your workmanship is marvelous—and how well I know it. You were there when I was being formed in utter seclusion! You saw me before I was born and scheduled every day of my life before I began to breathe. Every day was recorded in Your Book. How precious it is, Lord, to realize that You are thinking about me constantly! I can’t even count how many times a day Your thoughts turn toward me! And when I waken in the morning, You are still thinking of ME!”

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• ENVY causes people to lose perspective and they are made to feel so inferior that they become so BITTER that they don’t want ANYONE to do good, or have good…EVER…

• I was watching Matlock the other day and some lady had killed her brother all because he loved someone else and she was scared that he wouldn’t love her as much anyone, so instead of taking the chance of that…she killed him off so that there was NO WAY he could love anyone else….THAT IS ENVY and THAT IS CRAZY!

• One quote I read said “ENVY is a coal that comes hissing hot from hell”—J. Bailey

• ENVY leads to ALL that is opposite of LOVE….ENVY destroys all relationships…

• THINK ABOUT IT: To actually HATE and to FEEL UNEASY at someone else’s happiness or excellence…and to DISLIKE or HATE someone because of that…that is SICK-O! THAT is directly against EVERYTHING that God stands for and Is!....GOD DELIGHTS in EXCELLENCE and in HAPPINESS, His grace produces both of these things!!!

• THINK ABOUT IT THIS WAY: You might can say you are ANGRY at something because you were “done wrong”…but ENVY doesn’t have that excuse…because Envy exists simply because someone else had something GOOD happen to them…..

• SIDENOTE: If you are looking for a way to SELF-TORMENT yourself…then just grad on to ENVY…it is GREAT FOR self-torment! If you are looking for a way to rot your bones and burn up with ulcers and be utterly miserable…then ENVY is the way to go!

• Proverbs 14:20 “A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones.”

• James 4:2 “You want something but don't get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not have, because you do not ask God.”

• The definition of the word COVET here in James 4:2 in Greek is “ZELOO”…which is a verb that means to “covet earnestly, to have desire, to move with ENVY, to be jealous over

• Original Word: ζηλόω

Part of Speech: Verb

Transliteration: zéloó

Phonetic Spelling: (dzay-lo'-o)

Short Definition: I am jealous, eager for

Definition: (a) intrans: I am jealous, (b) trans: I am jealous of, with acc. of a person; I am eager for, am eager to possess, with acc. of a thing.

• Check out this verse:

• Acts 17:5 “But the Jews which believed not, moved with ENVY, took to them certain lewd fellows of the baser sort, and gathered a company, and set all the city on an uproar, and assaulted the house of Jason, and sought to bring them (Paul and Silas) out to the people”

• James tells us about how damaging ENVY is to God’s people…

• James 4:1-3 “Where do wars and fights come from among you? Do they not come from your desires for pleasure that war in your members?  You lust and do not have. You murder and covet and cannot obtain. You fight and war. Yet you do not have because you do not ask.  You ask and do not receive, because you ask amiss, that you may spend it on your pleasures.”

• Remember that this passage was written to CHRISTIANS!...they had actually begun walking with the Lord…but they were suffering because they had allowed ENVY to creep in to their relationships!

• ENVY….at it’s core…is SELFISHNESS…..it is being CONSUMED with our own affairs which makes it very, very difficult to relate to another person………..it is totally OPPOSITE of what God says that LOVE is!!!

• Go back to our original verse in 1 Corinthians and notice that Paul does NOT say that “CHRISTIANS do not envy”….he says “LOVE does not envy”….just because we are Christians, does NOT mean that we will not envy….it means that when we recognize that we are operating in ENVY…it means that LOVE is NOT IN CONTROL of our emotions.

• LOVE has to be an ACTIVE CHOICE on the part of our will…it is not an AUTOMATIC response!...the automatic response of our fallen nature would be negative!

• NEGATIVE is more likely automatic…and POSITIVE is more likely work!

• Another quote I found by someone named Katherine Porter…”Love must be learned, and learned again and again; there is no end to it. Hate needs no instruction, but wants only to be provoked.”

• So……………when you recognize that you are having thoughts or actions that are ENVIOUS….you don’t have to go around feeling guilty…but simply ACKNOWLEDGE your feelings and REPENT for them…they are not to be the basis for your Christian walk of talk.

• If you are wondering if you are operating in ENVY…just simply check your words or actions…if you are operating in this, then your words or actions will NOT be loving!

• CHOOSE to react in LOVE…

• Can you be loving when you FEEL non-loving? OF COURSE YOU CAN and YOU MUST….cause if you don’t…then you are letting your old nature control you instead of the Spirit!

• ALLOW the Holy Spirit to control what comes out of your mouth!!!

• To do this…we have to be HONEST with ourselves about our emotions…one Christian psychologist wrote that “ENVY is an emotion that everybody possesses but to which nobody admits. While many people would confess that they are anxious, lonely, overly-busy, or bothered by feelings of inferiority, very few of us will tell another we are ENVIOUS. Indeed, we don’t even like to admit this to ourselves. But above all, we especially want to keep our envy a secret from the person whom we envy.”

• ENVY is a dangerous emotion for our MENTAL HEALTH…..because the harsh and horrible things said about ENVY cause us to so FEAR it that we do not want to acknowledge we have it. We need to learn it is far healthier to be aware of our emotions, and learn to deal with them, then it is to repress them!

• FACE THAT GREEN-EYED MONSTER and DEAL WITH IT!!!!

• SAY SOMETHING LIKE THIS TO YOURSELF when you realize you are operating in ENVY: “I am now envious, and I’m in a non-loving state. My attitude and behavior will be influenced by this emotion, and I can easily do or say what is non-loving. I must now choose to do and say that which is the will of God for me. I must CHOOSE to love even though my FEELINGS would just love to take me down a non-loving path.”

• James 3:14 “But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth.”

• James 3:16 “For where you have envy or selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.”

• 1 Peter 2:1 “Therefore, rid yourselves of all malice and all deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and slander of every kind.”

• ENVY IS EVIL:

• ENVY is actually your choice to reject loving God with ALL your heart…because envy says “I think that god is not fair to me…He has given other people what He has not given me…so I’m gonna reject Him and I’m gonna reject His Will for me.”

• Which is basically what Cain said about Abel…Cain basically said that “Life is not fair and God plays favorites…so I’m gonna fight the plan of God and KILL the one He favors”

• You see…when we ENVY…we end up with a LOW self-image…we end up hating who we are…because we THINK that we are less and inferior to someone else…those FEELINGS then, in turn, lead us to DESPISE that person that we see as “superior” and we end up HATING them…so we make full circle and we HATE God and we HATE our brothers…

• ENVY leads to us, in a sense, saying that God’s will for our lives is NOT AS GOOD AS His will for someone else’s life

• Once we get this craziness in our head…then instead of being happy for people when they succeed…we get all bent-out-of-shape when something good happens to them…. And then if something happens to this person, and they fail…we are overjoyed at their failure……YUCK!!!!!! THAT IS HIDIOUS!!!!!

• When will we get the big picture that ENVY doesn’t hurt anyone BUT the one ENVYING!

• When you are stuck in ENVY…you think that you, yourself, has such little worth and value compared to others…so then you want to rise up and destroy the good things that are happening to them…because that is the only way that you can feel any self-worth…but making others feel LESS

• When we KNOW that we KNOW who we are in Christ…then this crazy ENVY demon will have no control over us…there would be no vying for positions in church…or people being ENVIOUS because someone else was asked to do something

• If we recognize the fact that God loves us JUST AS MUCH and His will and plan and purpose for us is just as important…but DIFFERENT…..these feelings of ENVY may enter our minds…but it is quickly shot down because we realize that we ARE LOVED and we ARE VALUABLE to God

• THINK ABOUT IT THIS WAY: For those of you that have more than one kid…or more than one grandkid…Do you love one more than another? NO, YOU DON’T…but sometimes the older brother or sister doesn’t realize this when suddenly there is another “kid” on the scene!....and sometimes there is a battle with ENVY at an early age….because it’s based on the fear that another’s good fortune is my loss.

• EX: When new women are added to our group….do you get ENVIOUS when others spend time with them and then you start to see them as “competition” and you think you need to FIGHT for your share of love OR are you secure in the fact that YOU are still needed and loved

• Maybe you remember dealing with ENVY in school…when other kids got more of the teachers attention than you did…or in your job when other people got awards or promotions that you don’t get…there always seems to be some realm in your life where someone else is the “winner”…and you are left feeling ENVY

• The lower your self-image…the more you will ENVY those who win out over you….ENVY can become such a vicious beast..that you will NEVER forgive those who surpass you, and because of that…your LOVE toward that person is blocked…and guess what happens when love is blocked, all kinds of nasty stuff starts to grow (bitterness, anger, resentment, malice…)

• Galatians 5:26 “Let us not become conceited, provoking and ENVYING each other”

• ANOTHER AWESOME ENVY QUOTE: by St. Augustine many centuries ago “May God take this vice (envy) not only from the hearts of all Christians, but from all men, for it is a vice proper to demons and from which they will always suffer. The devils have fallen, but they are ENVIOUS of man who still stands upright. So also, some men are ENVIOUS of others, not because they wish to have the prosperity that they see in others, but because they would wish that everyone be as wretched as themselves.”

• Do you ever find yourself feeling GOOD at the MISFORTUNE of someone else?...learn to recognize those feelings or emotions and cut that off by letting the Holy Spirit rule in your mind, will, and emotions!

• WHERE IN THE HECK DOES ALL THIS ANTI-LOVE MESS COME FROM?

• It comes from the fact that we sometimes battle with a poor self-image.

• THINK ABOUT IT: When you are feeling down…doesn’t it seem like EVERYONE is doing EVERYTHING they are supposed to and that EVERYONE is being blessed for what they are doing…but you are not!?

• If you feel YUCK about yourself…it is very difficult to show OTHERS love…

• REMEMBER that the first commandment is to LOVE GOD…and according to Matthew…

• Matthew 22:39 “And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'

• It is also said in Matthew 19:19 “honor your father and mother,' and 'love your neighbor as yourself.'"

• And again in Romans 13:9 “The commandments, "Do not commit adultery," "Do not murder," "Do not steal," "Do not covet," and whatever other commandment there may be, are summed up in this one rule: "Love your neighbor as yourself."

• WHICH ALL MEANS: If you love another, you will not deprive that person of of their spouse, of their life, of their property, of their good name; and will not even permit a desire to enter into his heart which would lead him to wish to possess anything that is the property of another

• So…loving yourself will lead you to love your neighbor…..just like NOT loving yourself will lead to NOT loving your neighbor..

• Think about that OLDER brother in the story of the Prodigal Son….he ENVIED the way the dad treated his little brother when he returned after screwing up his life and losing all his money….WHY DID HE ENVY HIM?....was it because he felt unloved or inferior or cheated?...I mean, after all, hadn’t he done everything right? But for some reason, he didn’t feel “secure” in who he was in his father’s eyes…and so he found himself being ENVIOUS of the way his dad was treating his younger brother…but instead of having a great time at the party, he was sitting around feeling sorry for himself…like he was saying “poor me, I’ve never had a party with my friends, and I have been good and loyal. I guess my dad has forgotten everything great that I did for Him”….can you say PITY PARTY…!

• KNOW WHO YOU ARE IN CHRIST!!!

• THINK ABOUT IT THIS WAY…..if we are really that concerned and envious of others having more than we do…Let us remember that—we ALREADY have infinitely more than we deserve!!!!....Just take a second and think about allllllllllllllllllllllll of the sins that you have been forgiven for and think about how MERCIFUL GOD is toward you…and what a GREAT HOPE He has given us in Christ Jesus…..THIS ALONE should cause that creepy little ENVY demon to get in check.

• Titus 3:3-7 “At one time we were foolish, disobedient, deceived and enslaved by all kinds of passions and pleasures. We lived in malice and envy, being hated and hating one another. But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, He saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, whom He poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that, having been justified by His grace, we might become heirs having the hope of eternal life.”

• Now…the great news is that you can EASE envy away from your life…as long as we are here on this earth…we will have to deal with non-loving emotions that creep up in our minds…kinda like MOSQUITOES…YUCK!

• We CAN learn how to handle these negative emotions that tend to creep up…with the help of the Holy Spirit…we CAN CHOOSE to LOVE instead of being carried away by crazy negative emotions…

• One of the ways we can ALL help ease the pressure provoked by ENVY is to recognize that EVERY MEMBER of the body is WORTH A LOT!!!!!...I do mean EVERY MEMBER!!!!

• Sometimes it seems like people in a church tend to focus on one person or several people that they may see “up front” all the time…and they tend to overlook other people….when we do that…it leads to RIVALRY…which leads to ENVY….

• THINK ABOUT IT THIS WAY: For some reason we tend to “praise” people that seem to have certain giftings…like “praise and worship leaders” for example….but we got remember that these guys wouldn’t be able to minister like they do without the great people who clean the church, or without the sound guy, or without someone paying the a/c bill, or without the nursery workers, or the greeters who make the new friends feel comfortable enough to be open to the move of the Holy Spirit….

• We may not have EQUAL ABILITY in many areas…but we ARE EQUALLY ALL people that God LOVES…so therefore…everyone is to be EQUALLY LOVED by the body!!!

• If people FEEL LOVE…then there is no way or need for ENVY to get a foothold!!!!

• When LOVE really does reign in a place…then each member of the body can REJOICE that others are more superior in ways they are not…because that just adds SO MUCH MORE to the body!!!

• THINK ABOUT IT LIKE THIS: Is your leg envious of your arm because your arm can throw a ball better than the leg can? THAT SEEMS CRAZY…CAUSE IT IS….same way with people and their giftings…WE NEED TO BE GRATEFUL that the arm throws the ball better than the leg….and that the leg walks and runs better than the arm….having a leg AND an arm makes our body capable of doing so many more things!!!!!

• We should ENJOY each other’s giftings….not ENVY them!!!

• You cannot be the ear, eye, nose, mouth, skin, arm, leg, tongue, and toenail of the body….no one person can be the WHOLE body!!!!!!

• BUT….you CAN enter into the EXPERIENCE of the whole body….by being joyful when someone gets to go on a mission trip…listen to their stories they tell, support them by sending with them what you can, pray for them and the ministry they will do………………..OR…enjoy the music that the band plays and worship God during the time they are playing, not sitting around feeling bad because you aren’t up there with them…

• ENJOY the BLESSINGS of other members of the body!!!

• Be EMPATHITIC with others…respond to what they are doing or teaching or preaching or singing…have compassion on them…identify with their feelings…have understanding for their feelings….and as you do this…there will be NO PLACE FOR ENVY!!!!!

• THIS also KILLS PRIDE….because EVERYONE is LOVED and NEEDED and VALUED! (not just the ones that are gifted in certain areas!)

• Remember what Jesus said…”If you want to be GREAT…then you gotta be a SERVANT”

• If you have gifting in certain areas…then it is to be used for the good of the body! It is to be used to BLESS others that don’t carry the same gift that you do!

• Instead of trying to blow out someone’s “light” because they are better than you in some area…see it as a BLESSING to you instead!

• When love is KIND…and everybody uses their gifts for the good of the WHOLE…then there is no need to feel ENVY toward anyone…because EVERYONE is seen as a BLESSING!!!! WOOWOO!!!

• RIVALRY promotes ENVY…but UNITY and EMPATHY help to ease envy…

• The LACK OF LOVE leads to ENVY

• Even Pilate knew that ENVY was why the rulers had delivered up Jesus to Him…because they saw Jesus as a THREAT because of His popularity with the people!...It those leaders could have seen Jesus popularity as a BLESSING instead of a THREAT…there would have been a different outcome!

• Matthew 27:18 “Pilate knew that for ENVY they had delivered Him”

• Mark 15:10, "For he knew that the chief priests had handed Him over because of envy."

• While ENVY will always be with us…if we CHOOSE to let the Holy Spirit have control of our minds, wills, and emotions…then we can learn to GROW IN LOVE…because LOVE DOES NOT ENVY

• I ENVY….but LOVE does not…and so, only as I and LOVE become ONE can envy really be eased out of my life!

• HOW CAN YOU START?....go and do something good for someone you envy!!!

• The more LOVE you learn to show and give…the more ENVY will FADE!

• Romans 12:15 “Rejoice with those who rejoice!, weep with those who weep.”

• IN CONCLUSION:

• If you are ENVIOUS of others, the one you will hurt most by your actions will be YOU!....just remember what happened to Saul!

• Romans 12:16-18 "Be of the same mind toward one another. Do not set your mind on high things, but associate with the humble. Do not be wise in your own opinion. Repay no one evil for evil. Have regard for good things in the sight of all men. If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men."

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