C4P - gravityh



[H – get the coyote logo up here…?][pic]

C4P – We Warned You…

Why do those JABOYs keep shoveling out this s…, er, stuff?!!?

OK, we’re done threatening to discontinue this madness, since apparently YOU keep wanting to come back. What’s wrong with you?!!? However, WE had such a great time at last year’s “Last Hurrahahahaha” that we’ll admit we’re glad you’re coming back to entertain us. Once again, the daily trails will delight and humble you; in the evening, you will delight and embarrass yourselves. And again, it’ll be up to the veterans among you to insure the rookies embarrass themselves more than you do unto yourselves, if for no other reason than why would you want to exit the weekend feeling as foolish as you did the last time you were here. So how is it that teasing invitations from veterans like “C4P is just too much fun, you HAVE to come back with us next year,” somehow during the weekend translates to something like “What sick bastard put THAT hill THERE?!!?” Oh, that’s just a bunch of poo-poo words – you’re gonna have FUN!!!, and we have the trails to prove it.

(One sidebar before I digress further: while the more incredulous idiot of this co-RD’ship “embellishes” (OK, more at “perverts”) H’ard’s first draft of this program, the real work to date has been the suffering pleasure of Howard Cohen. He’s had so much fun getting this event organized (while I dick around in the Netherlands, running the steepest canal bridges this side of the Bonneville Salt Flats), that he’s decided after the C4P weekend to pass a kidney stone, just to confirm how much fun he’s been having getting you to our trails. So, whilst you’re roaming our territory during C4P, take time out to give your sincerest condolences to H’ard…)

OK, here’s the Main Abuse Plan:

Monday, Feb 16th 6:00 PM Scrub Run Planning Dinner, H’ard’s House, Newbury Park

Tuesday, Feb 17th 7:00 AM 1st Half Scrub Run, Start: Will Rogers State Park

Wednesday, Feb 18th 7:00 AM 2nd Half Scrub Run, Start: Kanan Road

(Scrub Run details will be sent separately to those sorry souls who unconsciously signed up for it.)

Thursday, Feb 19th 7:00 AM We might mark some trails, maybe not, probably not. Nah…

7:02 AM Let’s drink beer. It’s noon somewhere…

Noon Body Painting Seminar, Thornhill Broome Beach

2:30 PM 7 Mile Teaser at La Jolla Cyn (2:00 √ In/Brief)

6:00 PM Dinner/Party/Briefing at BJ’s Restaurant/Brewery

Friday, Feb 20thst 5:00 AM Camel Caravan from Denny’s to Ojai

6:00 AM Check-In, Cozy Dell Trailhead, Hwy 33

6:15 AM 50 Mile Start

5:30 PM 50 Mile Course Closes

6:45 PM Dinner/Talent Show/Briefing at Sandy’s

Saturday, Feb 21stnd 6:15 AM 40 Mile Check In, La Jolla Canyon

6:30 AM 40 Mile Start

4:30 PM 40 Mile Course Closes

6:00 PM Bowling/Dinner/Party at Wagon Wheel Bowl

Sunday, Feb 22ndth 6:30 AM 50K Check In, La Jolla Canyon

7:00 AM 50K Start

2-4:00 PM BBQ/Give stuff away that we couldn’t unload earlier

3:00 PM 50K Course Closes

4:03 PM The gods, if they haven’t caught on beforehand, unleash their

wrath from the skies above, scattering the multitudes to the

peace and serenity of their motel rooms, only to discover

the next morning that dead/splattered frogs litter the

parking lot and the windshields of their rental cars, later

causing insurance rates to soar and undermining the

White House’s intent on finally offering affordable health

insurance to all citizens because now those same under-

writing corporations have to divert their capital to paying

back those frivolous claims (come on!! Frogs on wind-

shields?!!?). So, I guess you’re going home now, huh?

Stuff Hereafter: General Blather, Players, Scrub Run, Courses, Maps, Each Day’s General Agenda, Hospitality/Lodging, Previous Stats, Still more mind-numbing Blather…

General Blather: Wouldn’t you know it: we threaten/promise to quit doing this, and more people want a piece (you friggin’ idiots!!). As this rag gets sent out, we have over 65 runners entered, our most populous (or is that bulbous?) year. Whoopee!! you say. The good news, even with this many runners, it’s still a manageable crowd, which also helps you enjoy the intimacy and personality of C4P without getting overly burdened with crowd control dynamics of larger ultras. Expect minimalist aid from us for the runs themselves, get as much work from the days’ courses as you can healthily manage, dive into the party atmosphere sandwiching the runs, and you should have a total blast this weekend (if you don’t, your brain & body must’ve been in a totally surreal place). Added to that, we have a wide array of invaluable awards to disperse among you, the better ones most beneficently offered by Patagonia (thru Craig Holloway) and Montrail (Krissy Sybrowski), the far from better ones culled together from yard sales, thrift stores and too many nights in motels. For the remainder of this program, with the exception of a couple informative tidbits scattered throughout the narrative (I’ll be generous and bold those pieces), most of what you’ll need/want to know (1) might have been crammed into an Excel spreadsheet like we sent out last year (but since we DID send one out last year, why repeat such folly? Hunt down a packrat veteran who still has that trash…); and (2) is spread out in the attached highly artistic map of the local area (the wiser among you will visit mapquest or its cousins to locate event landmarks). If you're seeking still more information about C4P, and you've already visited the VHTRC website, look further into Howard Cohen's site

(see below under Scrub Run, w/o the extended link to Santa Monica Mtns...).

Players: For you social scientists out there, 34 are from CA (down from last year, which suggests even Californians can learn over time, Ahnuld notwithstanding); about 10 have ties to the VHTRC (sorry, Rick and Frank, you’ve been included in that swagger); 8 from WA (slower to learn than CA’ers…?); 4 claiming questionable Canadian citizenship, and 4 more (including the CO-to-AZ expatriot Mr. Strong) from Colorado. Our perennial Ridge-f***ing-insane-crest Rowdies (5 this year) should look forward to strong competition next year from the GAC’ers out of Mass (whose dictator promised during a winter night beer run that they’d swarm on us like a so many flies on… on… let’s see, what do flies swarm on to…?). Solo states rep’d include GAMNNVALCTHINM (go ahead, try to sound that out…). Better yet, check out the web site for the current list of entries. And here’s a note you’ll wow your office mates / in-laws / local homeless with: we have about 15.6 domestic live-in partners (yeah, that includes married people, too) participating, which at least says for you running couples, you really should do better research on how to spend your get-away weekend vacations. How many other ultras do you go to with so much potential domestic squabbles to surreptitiously observe? As for how you’ve been assigned/distributed to a bowling team: they were conceived/organized sometime after my third double of drambuie on the rocks. Who knows, maybe we’ll shuffle ‘em again before you arrive in Feb’ry.

Scrub Run: As it looks now, we have some volunteer drivers who need a final confirmation to support those who said “yes” to doing the Scrub (your names are *’d on the Player Roster). Please confirm your participation via e-mail. Should other ‘maybe’s or ‘no’s opt to play (as with the other long runs, you can do shorter courses; in fact, only a couple people will do ALL those miles, the rest doing just portions of each day), you must e-mail H’ard not later than Feb 7th, so we can plan accordingly for your participation (enough of you, and we’ll need more drivers/cars). This year will be staged much as last year: the runner/volunteer drivers aid and schlep runners, staged over two days, from the eastern start to western terminus of the Santa Monica Mtns’ Backbone Trail. About 100K worth, but more than likely, some folks will do shorter sections each day (there are a couple ugly climbs out there!!). Unless specifically excused, you should attend the planning dinner/jacuzzi party at H’ard's house on Monday night, Feb 17th, at 6:00. Check H’ard’s website on the Backbone,

, both to get a sense of the course and to prepare yourself for that dinner planning meeting. You may also elect to get your paws on the Tom Harrison maps () of the Santa Monica Mtns trails (two maps, East and West); these are about the best-detailed of print media. H’ard is the Scrub Run’s official RD, so if you have questions about the course or the logistics pre-Monday’s dinner, send him a note at gravityh@ . At the end of each day’s run, we’ll retire to a local eatery (probably same as last year: Spruzzo’s and Neptune’s Net) to relish in (read, drink, drink, drink…) the day’s achievement. Plan to chip in a bit to reimburse the volunteers for gas; bring ‘em donuts and coffee each morning…

Courses and Aid Stations: As noted above, we’ve previously put out a spreadsheet showing distances between aid stations, general terrain, very finite information that would keep any anal retentive runner at the planning table for hours into the night. Not this year. If you’re of the sort that needs that kind of crap, go pester one of our veteran analities for his/her sheet, and just hope there aren’t too many changes this year. Here’s the narrative scoop: Flats are relatively nonexistent, by course design, so get in the mood for hills. How much elevation? A lot. Those who have the altitude toys can debate those numbers during the weekend. (Distances, rest assured, are fascinatingly accurate. Truly. I’m not kidding. I’m a former federal employee, and I’ve been brainwashed over time not to BS anyone. Honestly.) Beyond the difficulty of each course, what’s crucial to your survival: for the 40M and 50k courses in Pt Mugu State Park (hereafter PMSP), and in Ojai if weather prevents our getting vehicles to the ridge top – aid may be very limited. We’ll have fluids and light weight solids (e.g., potato chips, cat food, deep-fried coyote scat, etc) at critical points. Additionally, at several places in PMSP, there are water spigots to refill bottles (tho we won’t know until just before the weekend which ones will be operative (we’ll tell you when we find out (if we find out (who knows? (how many parentheticals can you stand (more?)?)))))(did I get ‘em all?). You should carry enough of your own nutritive food, drugs and fluids and more drugs, so that, say, should you haplessly miss one aid station, you won’t disintegrate into a worthless cowflop somewhere in the bushes. Excepting one or two aid stations on the 50, the JABOY crew will be your survival net and scout/sweep crew on the courses, meaning there aren’t enough of us to cater to your every whim and whimper. If you plan to be fairly self-sufficient, you’ll still have fun without “will-I-find-the-finish?” anxieties. Some highlights of each course, some different from last year (veterans: explain the specifics to your recruits):

Ojai 50M: The longest climbs and drops among the 3 courses… We brought back the southern slope Sisar/White Ledge loop with options for short routes; and also give oppor’y to see each other on the out/back ridge. Major climbs: Gridley (hell, it ain’t a slouch along the ridgeline to Lion’s Cyn, either), that POS out of Rose Valley, White Ledge, the last pull out of Gridley Top to Nordhoff. Lovely downhills: Lion’s to Rose, Sisar Canyon. (Important sidebar on the 50: there WILL BE portapotties at the Start but not the finish. You see the potty will turn into a pumpkin at 5PM and we got to get it back otherwise it will stink up our neighborhood all weekend. This will give a chance to stop short of the Finish for some relief. The S/F is also very close to a major stream, so please be well “evacuated” before you find relief. By contrast, PMSP has bathrooms at La Jolla Canyon and a couple other places you’ll see on your travels.)

PMSP 40M: We will run the same course as last year. This includes the Coyote Trail, which isare a hump of hills that sit in the middle of the park, with vistas to all other major hills of the course from its promontory. Noteworthy climbs: to Mugu (but not top of) Peak, Fossil, Tri-Peaks/ Chamberlain (Butt Crack) Rock, Fireline, and Cardiac (Pat’s favorite!!). And wunnerful downs all over the place (note: each day in PMSP, you’ll finish on the incomparable Ray Miller…).

PMSP 50K: This course hasn’t changed. Noted ups: Ray Miller (from Start), Guadalasca, Mugu Peak, Hell Hill. Sweet downs: Fireline, Old Boney, Ray Miller to Finish.

Even for the Short Courses on each day, some prominent sections will be mandatory (e.g., on the 40, everyone does Coyote Trail, everyone does Butt Crack Rock, everyone does Cardiac). More on that at the dinner trail briefings…

Surveyor tape will mark the course, but usually ONLY at turns. The sanity checks on that anxiety-builder: (1) The Ojai course doesn’t have many turns on it, and since we’re pretty much the only traffic out there on Friday, marking for your confidence will be a relatively easy task. (2) In PMSP, there’ll probably be a good deal of other traffic, and history tells us that some folks can’t resist the temptation to pull down tapes. The good news, most intersections are marked with signs (e.g., Coyote Trail, Ray Miller, Serrano Cyn, etc), so that using your park map will reduce your chance of getting lost. Even if you do drift ditheringly, use your nose to follow the sea breeze to the Coast (or just get in Sycamore Canyon and follow the road to civilization). Since we’re marking mostly only turns, you can expect to run relatively long distances between markings (e.g., on the 40M, between Boney/Backbone and Sycamore, there will be one 2+ mile stretch without any tape; on the 50M, you’ll run the 6+ miles bottom to top of Gridley with only marginal marking just near the bottom). Repeat this mantra: “I won’t get lost, I won’t get lost, I won’t get lost…” (One or a few of you will, and you’ll suffer embarrassment sometime that evening. Hey, it’s your own damn fault!!)

Maps: Veterans should still have the PMSP trail maps. We’ve purchased a few principally for the fresh meat. If enough vets whine they don’t have a copy and need one, we’ll buy more. If you have one now, you may be able to figure out (or not) the major routes of the 40M and 50K courses. Friday and Saturday night’s trail briefings will derive from those maps (bring two different dark color highlighters (the map is brown’ish in background color) so you don’t confuse your own markings). Wild Bill will brief the 50M course using his map (that should be warning enough!!). If in combination, (1) you don’t trust our course marking, and (2) your directional skills match dark closet maneuvering, then (3) attach yourself to someone who is familiar with the terrain and/or doesn’t suffer your same eye-land coordination).

The attached road map is clearly self-explanatory. Its relationship to reality, however, may evoke a question or two. Some helpful (?) notes beyond what you may learn from Mapquest-like resources:

(1) Hwy 1 = Oxnard Blvd is between Hwy 101 and Pt Mugu State Park which is on Pacific Coast Hwy AKA Rte 1. See the map for details and follow signs to PCH and Santa Monica to find Hwy 1.ADD SOMETHING HERE. [Yes, do, as that configuration will probably have changed yet again since last I was there…]

(2) Oxnard Blvd west from the BW motel, just before Hwy 101, takes you to Thursday’s (visible from Oxnard Blvd, at fringe of Mall) and Saturday’s (Wagon Wheel Bowl is just next to that obvious and hideous turquoise motel of the same name) dinner locations; and will be your route to Hwy 101 West, to meet for Friday morning’s caravan to Ojai from Denny’s. Newbies should rely on Veterans, or the Trail Briefing/Q&A session on Thursday night, for directions to Friday morning’s rendezvous at Denny’s and/or more specific directions to the 50M start in Ojai.

(3) Directions to the restaurants/bowling alley are on the map – call them if you can’t follow H’ard’s directions. (Sandy’s is on Saviers, just shy of the intersection with Bard Rd). Regardless of where you stay, and anticipating our maps will most likely confuse some portion of your brain, you should ask your hotel management for supplemental directions (landmarks, off ramp configurations, time and distance, where to get great milkshakes/batteries/Tecnu, etc.). For those coming to the Scrub Run planning dinner on the 16th, Howard'smy address is 4573 Via Grande, Newbury Park, CA: See the web site for a link to the Map for you to print.

(4) If you’re flying into LAX, the most enjoyable (and actually, least congested) route to Oxnard and/or the start of Thursday’s 7 Miler is coming up the Pacific Coast Highway (Rte 1). If you’re flying into Burbank or Ontario, you’ll want to find 210 north to 118 west (which becomes 23 south w/o telling you) to 101 north to Oxnard, rather than driving towards LA and fighting the 5/405 traffic.

Each Day’s General Agenda: Generally, for the long days, you’ll get up too damn early, run most of the day and enjoy the hell out of it, rest and relax (read, drink) shortly thereafter, then party at night. We screw with your brain early, by giving you only 7 miles on Thursday, followed by a party, then expect you to party like hell on the following days, even though then you’ve run many more miles and would probably rather just crawl between the sheets and sleep until the next physical abuse on the morrow. Again, get over it, deal with it, partypartyparty!!! Sadly, we can’t do this interminably, and you’ll find yourself wanting the BBQ party not to end on Sunday... Beat that for a running vacation!! And while each successive day starts later and is shorter, you can safely bet your body will experience some deficit in that evolution. Rationalize it as “very important early season training,” (Bwahahahaha!!!!!) but by no means try to convince your compatriots of that argument during the weekend (save that for when you go home and try to explain just what the hell happened to you in Ventura County). As for the evening “entertainment,” Thursday’s focus will be on the creative artwork that some of you took way too much time to produce (and some of you should have just put your pencil down a whole lot sooner…); Friday’s focus will be Talent Night (using media included in your runner packet and instructions provided Thursday night); and Saturday will be, well, bowling!!! As promised, some of the better awards to be dispensed this weekend will derive from these non-running performances. I’ve seen the stuff Craig’s doling out. You’ll want one… (As for those who opted not to submit creative artwork with your entry, you may still enter if you get your “output” to H’ard by Feb 10th.) Send e-mail to gravityh@, or snail mail to Howard Cohen @ 4573 Via Grande, Newbury Park, CA 91320 (don’t put that stupid little @ sign on the envelope; I may end up getting it in the Netherlands…)

Hospitality: Let’s see, you get four meals; TWO spiffy Patagonia performance wear pieces (the R1 material is very versatile and the Long Sleeve T is great performance wear while sweating... and you can count on that…); a unique bowling shirt, if chosen, that will have your friends drooling over you; weighted (by which we mean “who has suffered the most without whining about it” or “who’s willing to outlandishly embarrass themselves at Talent Night” ) opportunity to win some other cool stuff regardless of your running (in)ability; luck ‘o the draw chances (by which we mean, who knows why we give this stuff away rather than keep it for ourselves) to win marginally valuable items (read, worthless crap); plus just a treasure trove of incredibly indescribable desirables packed into your runner packet. You want more? There’s still three weeks before you arrive to accumulate still more really cool stuff…

Accommodations: If you elected not to stay at the Best Western (800-4OXNARD), there are several other options in the area. The Motel 6 on Johnson Drive in Ventura (right off 101 and one exit away from Oxnard Blvd) is convenient and you-know-the-price. Also a new place freeway close is Hampton Inn & Suites. See the C4P web site details. For the campers among you, you can stay at Thornhill Broome or Sycamore Canyon campground. We also have the La Jolla Canyon group campsite (Start/Finish of 40M and 50K) for Sunday night only in case you want to hang there after the BBQ. Let H’ard know separately if you’re interested in staying at the campsite (they have solar showers…). Any questions you have on lodging, send H’ard e, or call, separately.

Previous Stats: We’ve had as few as 30, as much as 50 people do this event. From the informal Scrub Run for Mugu 50-50 in ’97, with 10 people playing (Chuck Pullen the only from that first year to appear each successive year), we attempted a formal event in ’98 that literally got washed out with the El Nino. Prevented from holding a formal event in PMSP, we fortunately discovered 50 tough miles in Ojai, and we’ve been back every year. In fact, that “aborted” year became the cause for four days of frivolity, hence C4P…

Only the 7 Mile warm up and the 50K courses have been run more than twice, so those in search of another course record will have two courses to play with this year. Deb Askew holds the women’s 50K with 6:17; Jo Ann Beine and Colleen Dulin have the 7 Mile record at 65:28. The men’s 50K, dubiously questionable cuz my records just plain suck, is 4:23 by Dan Barger, while Curt Maples owns the 7 Mile at 52:52. But hey, this ain’t a race; it’s a party best appreciated by throwing in enough running to justify the excess. Too bad we haven’t been keeping track of those who get lost…

Closing Blather: Want a C4P buckle? A few have been cast and promised to previous participants (YOU know who you are, but you’ll need to confirm your “ownership” to retain it). This isn’t mass production; rather, only after each one falls from its own wax mold, the stainless steel is labored over to make it look right spiffy (Bill and I did this last year, and it’s a royal pain. See the web site at: . Just to recover costs of materials and machining (contracted out), each will be 45 smackers. Not sure how many we will get done by race day (shooting for 5 men and 5 female) so the supply will be limited.

Minutiae: we don’t have poisonous poison oak (it’s outlawed in SoCal; only the secessionist NorCal has the poisonous stuff; ours is just pretty to look at and to rub all over your body), but we’ll have Fels Naptha soap available at the end of each day’s run anyway; you shouldn’t see any cross-eyed rattlesnakes (too early in the season... maybe); but we do have 6' (or is that "?) monitor lizards to trip over; you may see deer or coyote, but the lions will be camouflaged after the body painting seminar on Thursday; there should be some fabulous colors (but don’t eat the spikey stuff); and, of course, some magnificent views to the ocean (yawn, you think? Just you wait ‘n see…). Bring your camera… Mountain Lions... yes PMSP has a male and female lion.... granted their range is the entire Santa Monica Mountains but with the recent press I find myself looking over my shoulder more. Keep your eyes peeled, especially in Blue and Serrano canyons. Sighting are very rare and consider yourself privileged if you see one.

Not M’nooshuh: C4P is unique, for several reasons. (1) We do this as much for our entertainment/enjoyment as yours. We come to play, run, laugh, run, party, run, party, party, party, and hope your attitude is similar. If it’s not, we’re more prone to laugh than frown, for it’s not as if you weren’t warned... (2) The volunteers who support us (and there aren’t a boatload of ‘em) come out both because they’re as crazy as you, and most of them are truly humbled that you’d punish yourself over so many days (so pat ‘em on the back when you see ‘em!!)… (3) We don’t coddle you or promise incredible support and prize money. Yet, all our previous participants, for some unfathomable reason, can’t wait for the next year’s installment… And (4) you will leave C4P with, beyond incredibly suspicious memories, some C4P emblazoned Patagonia (and bowling?) gear that wears distinctly different from that you’ve earned from other events. By displaying (and you will, proudly and strangely) that apparel at other events, you’ll recognize other C4P’ers and will remember the bond that the C4P weekend mysteriously engendered; and you’ll be asked about it by those who haven’t been here yet, and you’ll have your own questionably incredulous stories to tell about C4P. What an odd experience, but one you’ll cherish in your own odd way… Finally, (5) most of what has made C4P so unique is YOU, our runners. Yes, you do other events, but how you enjoy C4P sculpts a distinctly unique experience from other ultras. You veterans know this; you newbies will find out soon enough. So, welcome to C4P!!

Howard Cohen and Chris Scott

RD and RD Emeritus

Nieuw-Armadildo and Oude-Armadildo

Working on stinky old, and already stinky old

Runs fast, and used to run almost as fast

Owns lots of dirty shoes, can’t spell dirtyshooze

(Howard, how the hell did this get to 7 pages?!!? (and that doesn’t include the maps!!!)

Feel free to doodle here, just don’t expect to win any more awards, cuz if you haven’t submitted your interpretation of “art” yet, we’re not likely to accept such belated attempts to suck up to the RD’s. So, doodle away, dood…

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