Is Your Current Date THE RIGHT ONE
Is the One You Are Currently Dating THE RIGHT ONE?
Amid the rosy glow of attention, you are liable to fail to see the signals of the person's real nature. Select the ending that most closely matches your perception of your current special someone and then tally them for an estimate of their enduring charm.
Some people are life-time partner material and others are only satisfactory for occasional times together. Learn to distinguish which is which as far as your needs are concerned.
1. Your job requires you to work some evenings and some weekends. Your date ...
[_] X. attempts to juggle their schedule and responsibilities so that the two of you can see
each other as much as possible.
[_] Y. goes their own way, making no special effort to change anything to get to see
you more often
[_] Z. suggests that you find another job.
2. Your date has had a difficult day and deals with it by ...
[_] X. trying to figure out what went wrong and how they can keep it from happening again.
[_] Y. shrugging it off as a bad day, then being sullen and uncommunicative for the
rest of the evening.
[_] Z. rehashing the injustice of the day and being defensive of what they said or
did; then being touchy and irritable the whole time you are together.
3. You would like to go away for a romantic weekend to celebrate your three-month
anniversary but your special someone had planned a daytime activity with a friend,
so now ...
[_] X. the two of you work out a plan that makes you both happy. (Maybe you leave after the
day with the friend is over or perhaps your date reschedules the day with their friend.)
[_] Y. your special someone tells you the trip can't happen; when you try to negotiate,
they refuse to discuss it.
[_] Z. you have an argument that quickly escalates into a no-holds-barred fight.
4. You're miserable with the flu and you tell them that over the phone. Your special person...
[_] X. asks if you'd like them to bring you anything.
[_] Y. tells you to take care of yourself and that they don't want to catch anything and
says goodnight.
[_] Z. whines about how they'll have to find someone else to go to the movies.
5. Your invite your main squeeze to accompany you to your company's next party.
They agree but when they get there they ...
[_] X. socialize politely with your colleagues but stay near you.
[_] Y. hang around near the bar or food, make no effort to mingle and
check their watch often. You wonder why they agreed to come.
[_] Z. flirt shamelessly with others and often get out of sight
without telling you where they are going.
6. After several dates, you feel intimate enough to ask about their romantic past. They ...
[_] X. share some things, but say that they're still sensitive about some subjects.
[_] Y. dodge your questions with vague answers.
[_] Z. tell you that those matters are confidential.
7. You've just had your first fight (it had to happen sometime) and now you ...
[_] X. feel that you have learned something about your date.
[_] Y. don't feel that the issue you fought over was ever really resolved.
[_] Z. are feeling distant (perhaps not even speaking to each other).
8. About six months into the relationship, the two of you happen to be out for a romantic
dinner. As you finish the last of your wine or coffee, you daydream out loud about
sharing a home together. Your special someone ...
[_] X. suggests that the two of you talk about it more when you've been together longer.
[_] Y. pales, suddenly notices how late it is, and suggests "We should get going."
[_] Z. dismisses your fantasy as unrealistic and impractical in this economic
market.
9. The relationship this person has with their parents and other family members is close to
this description ...
[_] X. they recognize their family members' faults but seem to be happy in their family
relationships
[_] Y. they never mention their family.
[_] Z. if they're not fighting with somebody, they're complaining to you about
somebody.
10. You have a young child from a previous relationship, who lives with you.
Your special someone ...
[_] X. tries to spend time with your child and suggests outings for the three of you.
[_] Y. seems to visit you only when the child is out of the way.
[_] Z. refers to small children as "ankle biters" and to your child as "the kid."
11. If the two of you were to break up, what you'd miss most is ...
[_] X. having your special someone to share your victories and defeats.
[_] Y. hearing your special someone's offbeat sense of humour.
[_] Z. having someone to share your bed and sex life.
12. Most of the time, your date makes you feel ...
[_] X. special
[_] Y. giddy
[_] Z. off balance
13. You buy something special to wear. When they see it, they ...
[_] X. are delighted and suggest where you two could go wearing it.
[_] Y. wonder why you chose that and where you'd ever wear it.
[_] Z. say it looks fine but that you'd really look great if you'd ...
14. The first time the two of you have sex, you say you want to use a laytex protective
shield or condom. Your date responds by ...
[_] X. asking if you have one or would like to use the one they brought.
[_] Y. balking and saying that it kills the mood.
[_] Z. being insulted that they are suspected of being diseased.
15. Whenever your special someone talks about their previous relationships,
you get the sense that they ...
[_] X. have thought a lot about what went wrong and have learned from the mistakes.
[_] Y. would just as soon pretend that it never happened.
[_] Z. hold the other partner responsible for most of the problems.
16. You have a steady job with a good income. Your special someone has a less secure
job and a lower income. You ...
[_] X. don't consider this an issue. It's your shared values and interests (and there are lots)
that really count.
[_] Y. tell yourself that this isn't a problem but you find yourself describing their job to
others as more important than it really is and saying that they are planning to
move on to something better soon.
[_] Z. continually badger them to make something better of themselves.
17. Generally speaking, you ...
[_] X. are happy with your life and discriminating when it comes to dates. You have your
work and your friends and would rather be single than unhappily involved.
[_] Y. are usually happy with your life but are happier when you're dating someone.
You find that romantic companionship adds an important dimension to most
activities.
[_] Z. believe that you can be truly happy only as part of a couple.
18. When differences between the two of you occur, you ...
[_] X. listen to the other's opinions and, if you disagree with them, you debate them.
[_] Y. move quickly on to something less upsetting.
[_] Z. either work at it until they agree with you or you change your views
to match theirs.
19. When you first met, you ...
[_] X. felt that they were someone you could be yourself with.
[_] Y. felt an immediate, physical attraction - and who cares about anything else?
[_] Z. felt an almost dangerous thrill that here was someone who could really
make your life exciting.
20. Now that you have known them for some time, you would describe them as ...
[_] X. a person who has faults but is kind and decent with many values and interests that
you consider are important.
[_] Y. a person who is entertaining but has some unsettling quirks you're not sure you
could live with.
[_] Z. a person with enormous potential and with some work they could be the
person of your dreams.
__ __ __
X Y Z
ADD up your Xs, then your Ys, and finally your Zs.
Although no instrument can replace wise counsel, we seldom want to hear warnings from our friends and we seldom want to believe our gut feelings when a dream is at risk. Your dream may become a nightmare if you are not true to your own perceptions and this instrument tried to offer you a chance to assess your perceptions of this person.
If you have mostly (12+) Xs, then X marks the person for you. This person may be your soulmate and they are worth the time and effort to check out the possibilities of a permanent relationship as friend or life-partner. They seem to be self-confident, reliable, considerate and interested in building a relationship with you - working out problems creatively and together.
If you have 12+ Ys, then you would be wise (Ys) to look more closely at the nature of this relationship. They may be fun for occasional events as friends but not as life-long partners. Keep dating others and enjoy this person's company for as long as you want to but avoid obligation.
If you have 12+ Zs, then let this one sleep (Zzzz) away somewhere else. They may be someone's special person but not yours - not now and not ever. Listen to your heart's responses above and read what you chose about them.
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