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How to Forget About Someone Important

We all know its hard to get over someone important, whether it was a relationship or a friend, its usually isn't easy, but it can certainty be reasonable.

STEPS

1.

Gather anything that reminds you of the person you are trying to forget about and return them if you can. If that's not possible, then find a suitable box and put them in a safe place. Who knows; one day you might want to see them again.

2

Stop the crying and try laughing! It's easier and better. Surround yourself with people who won't bring the person up, and can lighten the mood.

3

Focus on how time away from each other might feel better months from now, not on why you miss them.

4

Some people find it better to be alone, but whatever your preference is, don't surround yourself with lots of people. One person is more than enough. You can focus your attention on that one person rather than a large group.

5

Talk about it with the opposite gender. Sometimes that can make things easier.

6

Look at it from their perspective; you could be the problem.

7

Know that you're not the only one hurting. Chances are, they're missing you as well.

8

Smile in the mirror, it can make you feel good.

9

Understand that you might not be able to work things out. Sometimes you just need to know when to call it a day and move on, but most certainly use your new knowledge from this experience and use it in your next relationship.

10

If you are in school and have a class with them, ignore them and hang out with your own friends. DO NOT TRY TO MAKE THEM JEALOUS. It will just create a cycle of you two attempting to make each other jealous.

11

Be happy and push them away. Always be calm and cool.

Tips

Know that tomorrow's a brand new day.

Make new friends.

Talk to someone.

Laugh it off.

Read a book to change your ideas.

Look for other beauties. It'll help you forgetting past love.

Try to stop thinking about him/her.

How to Forget a Person

At the end of a relationship, it often seems like life is incapable of moving forward. This person is everywhere and moving on right now just isn’t an option. However, that’s not how things have to be. By modifying your environment, taking a hold of your thinking, and busying your life, they can easily be a thing of the past. Follow the steps below to forget this person and move on to a happier, healthier, complete you.

Part 1 of 3: Escaping Negative Reminders

1

Cut off physical contact. You cannot forget someone if you still see him or her all the time, or constantly hear about his or her activities. Consider these strategies:

Make sure you won't run into this person during your day-to-day activities. If you go grocery shopping at the same time, or take the same route home from work, tweak your schedule slightly so a chance meeting becomes more unlikely.

For right now, avoid social gatherings where you know he or she will be present. Politely explain to the host that you hope the event goes well, and that you are staying away only because you want to avoid a painful encounter.

2

Remove him or her from your electronic life. In today’s day and age, the people we associate with are more often than not through a screen. Even if you don’t see the person, it’s far too easy to see what they’re up to. Though it may seem harsh, remove him or her from all the forms of social media that you use.

Delete his or her contact information from your phone and email account

Block his or her Facebook profile, Twitter, Instagram, etc.

Take any other measures to prevent unwanted contact. If necessary, change your email address.

3

Ask your mutual friends to stop updating you on this person's doings. Something terribly interesting might have happened, but you do not need to hear about it. If your friend forgets and accidentally mentions this person to you, gently remind him or her of your request, saying something like, "I'm sorry, Jane, but it's too upsetting for me to think about Bill. Maybe we could talk about something else."

However, you may wish to add an addendum to this policy: sometimes learning the right things will help you find closure. Maybe this person has taken up smoking, moved to a different town, or lost their job. Let your friends know that if they think knowing something may help you find closure, they should say something.

4

Get rid of what reminds you of this person. Purge your life of anything that brings up painful memories of this person. Not looking at these things every day will help you move on.

If you can't bear to get rid of certain items, bag them up and ask a family member or close friend if you can store them in their house, away from easy access. Request the items be kept out of your reach for at least 6 months.

Go through your MP3 player and delete any songs that remind you of him or her. Replace them with encouraging, upbeat tracks that encourage you to be confident and forge ahead.

If you have a child or a pet with this person, obviously you cannot just get rid of them. Instead, focus on the things you have done to nurture this being and give it a good life.

Part 2 of 3: Changing Your Perspective

1

Don't let the desire for revenge consume you. Recognize that wanting to take revenge on someone (by making him or her jealous, upset, or sorry) still qualifies as thinking about them. You can't move on and forget if you're obsessed with vengeance, so learn how to let it go.

If you believe in a higher power, karma, or some form of cosmic justice, reason that he or she will get the appropriate payback eventually.

If you do not believe that someone else will dole out payback on your behalf, make peace with the fact that life is not fair. This person may have hurt you unjustly, but that does not give you the right to act out.

Remember the old George Herbert quote: "Living well is the best revenge." Going on with your life and refusing to sink to the other person's level communicates to him or her that you will not be affected by what happened, essentially rendering it insignificant.

2

Set aside time to express your feelings. If you have tried everything and still cannot resist thinking about him or her, try a new approach. Set aside a limited amount of time (such as an hour or two) to sit down and write out all your feelings about what happened. Once time is up or you've run out of things to say (whichever happens first), close the document and put it away somewhere. Next time you are tempted to dwell on this person, tell yourself, "No, I've already expressed my feelings about that. I won't waste time by doing it again."

If absolutely necessary, grant yourself 10 or 15 minutes each day to feel emotional. When those minutes are up, tell yourself you’ll think about it tomorrow. As the days tick by, you’ll need fewer and fewer of those minutes. Even noticing that you need fewer and fewer minutes will help you feel good, too.

3

Keep your mind distracted. Luckily enough, you control your thoughts. If you don’t want to think about something, you don’t have to. Busy yourself with school, work, or a project that will keep your mind focused. When you have other things to think about, they’ll fade into the background.

If you do find yourself thinking of them, shift your attention. We all daydream and find ourselves thinking things we’re surprised we’re thinking. The second they creep in your mind, tell yourself you’re not going to think about it, or that you’ll think about it later (hint: you won’t need to). Find someone to talk to, a game to play, or anything else that can keep your attention, even if it’s just for a few minutes – that’s all you’ll need.

4

Don’t listen to emotional music or movies. Trying to forget a person is a set up for mood swings and depression. Right now you may feel like you’re in a very vulnerable place. The last thing you need is outside stimuli that cultivates this emotion, so keep the music you listen to upbeat and only watch feel-good TV or movies.

Ask your friends to keep this in mind, too. They can help keep things light and airy to keep your mind off of things. When you need the boost, call them up, and they'll know just what to do to make you feel better.

5

Value yourself. Odds are this person you’re trying to forget did you some kind of wrong. In the end, they didn’t value you like they should’ve. This is the type of person that shouldn’t be in your life anyway. By valuing yourself, it’s much easier to realize that. They didn’t treat you right and that’s that. You only surround yourself with people who do.

Keeping in mind your self-worth will make it much easier to get the ball rolling. Remember: you're awesome! The whole world is in front of you and just bubbling with opportunities. What are you going to do next?

Part 3 of 3: Bringing Back Happiness

1

Pursue your passions. Keep yourself on the right track by replacing the time you would have spent with this person (or would have spent thinking about him or her) with a new activity. Take up a hobby you have always wanted to try, join an intramural sports league, or start a new form of exercise. Whatever it is, it should be so interesting and engrossing that you can't manage to think of anything else while you're doing it.

Mastering a new skill and bettering yourself will make you feel good. You may even feel like a new and improved person that’s too good for the person you’re forgetting, improving your self-esteem. Improving yourself is the best thing to do in this situation for you, your self-worth, and your peace of mind.

2

Eat right and exercise. Have you ever gone through one of those periods where you can’t seem to stop eating junk food and all you want to do is sit on the couch and watch terrible reality television? And the kicker is that it doesn’t feel good – being lazy and unhealthy feels pretty terrible. Eating right and exercising makes it much easier to feel energized and positive about your circumstances and yourself.

Have a diet that’s mostly fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and lean meats. Get a balance of fiber, protein, complex carbohydrates, and healthy fats (like the ones found in fish, nuts, or olive oil). Stay away from processed junk that gives you a kick initially, but in the end just slows you down.

Aim to exercise for 30 minutes a day, whether it’s walking, swimming, running, or even dancing or cleaning the house. Do it in small chunks if your schedule doesn’t allow for large chunks of time. Even small efforts, like parking far away from the entrance, will add up over time.

3

Surround yourself with friends and family. The best way to keep your mind busy, your schedule busy, and yourself positive, is to surround yourself with fantastic people that genuinely care about you. Whether that means your mom, your sister, your best friend, a theatre group, or your basketball team, stick with them. They’ll keep you laughing and help you see that you have a million things going for you.

When you feel like you’d rather hole up and hide under the covers, allow yourself to be a homebody for an hour or so and then put a stop to it by saying yes to that invitation and going out and being social. You won’t feel like it initially, but by the end of the night, you’ll be glad you did.

4

Allow yourself time. The human brain is wonderfully self-healing. The old adage “time heals all wounds” has always been true and always will be. Naturally, the brain starts focusing on the here and now, forgetting the past and often modifying it how it sees fit. So if it’s been a few weeks, relax. These things take time. Your brain will do the job for you if you’re patient.

The grieving process is natural and, in most cases, has to be gone through. There are 5 stages, and they may take a while to complete. Be patient with yourself – you'll see progress as times passes.

5

Forgive and forget. In the end, forgetting someone is virtually impossible to do if you can’t forgive them. If you’re following all the above steps and still can’t manage to forget, work on forgiving instead. They’re just a human and things happen. Life goes on.

Don’t forget to forgive yourself. For many of us, we hold grudges against ourselves more easily than we hold grudges against others. Remember that at the time, you did what you thought was right. They did, too. No one is to blame or is at fault. The past is in the past and it’s going to stay there. And that is for the best – this way, you’re free to move on.

Tips

Forgetting someone can help you move on, but try not to forget what you learned from the relationship. No time is wasted as long as you learned something.

Don't ever attempt to reach out to them. They might try to contact you but stick to your decision and do not let them back in. Remember why you walked away from them.

It's always difficult to forget a long term relationship, just know you deserve better and nobody's perfect. Understand that life goes on and so do people.

Don't obsess about getting "closure." Cut off contact now, and resist the urge to resort to theatrics (such as sending a lengthy "goodbye email"). Just stop.

Do something other than you might have done with them. Start branching out into new things.

Never try to hate that particular person; as you try to hate them they will get obsessed and engrossed over your minds, which will tempt you to think about them every moment and every second. Consequently, you will not be able to forget the person rather get irritated. Never listen to music when you are upset, it will complicate other things too!

Don't try to get your stuff back. Unless it is a diamond ring or something that is one-of-a-kind, you are better off not contacting her to get it back. DVDs, clothes, your extra toothbrush ... just let them go. They are only possessions. Is it worth the pain of being in her presence just to reclaim a pair of boxer shorts? Do not exchange your dignity for menial belongings.

Don't be quick to jump into a new relationship to forget the last. This will always fail.

How to Forget About a Girl You Like

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40 Editors

Updated 5 weeks ago

Four Methods:Understanding Your ProblemSpend Time With the People You LoveStay ActiveBe Ready to Move On

You can't stop thinking about a girl you like, and your obsession is keeping you from enjoying your life. You've tried everything but still can't get her off your mind. Though you may feel like you'll never be able to forget this special girl, relief may come sooner than you think if you follow these easy steps.

Method 1 of 4: Understanding Your Problem

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1

Realize that you have to forget the girl. Before you can start to forget the girl, you have to recognize that it's time to stop thinking about her. You should stop denying that thinking about this girl is not only taking up a large chunk of your day and keeping you up at night, but that it's also making you absolutely miserable. Here's how to know you can't stop thinking about her:

If you feel like you can't go five minutes without thinking about the girl.

If you only end up thinking about the girl even more whenever you try to forget her.

If you compare every girl you know or meet to the one you're thinking about.

If you find it impossible to be interested in other girls, even if they show an interest in you.

If you find yourself obsessively writing about the girl or drawing her face.

If every song you hear reminds you of her.

If you can't go more than a few hours without checking the girl's Facebook profile or Twitter feed.

If you feel like you'll never be happy if you can't be with the girl.

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2

Figure out why you can't stop thinking about her. Once you've admitted you have a problem, you need to think about why you can't stop thinking about this particular girl. Understanding the root of your problem will help you find a solution. Here are some reasons why you're thinking about her:

You have never met such an amazing girl in your life and are convinced there is no one else like her. She's so special that you have to have her. If this is the situation, tell yourself that you will be able to meet another girl that is even more special if you have patience.

You are so unhappy with so many aspects of your life that you feel that this girl will solve all of your problems and will bring you true happiness. If this is the case, you should work improving other aspects of your life, such as your health or your relationships.

You think this way about every girl you like. You jump from obsessing over one girl to the next. If this is the case, your obsessive thinking may be keeping you from enjoying your life or any future relationships.

You're getting over a serious relationship. If this is the case, it may be even more difficult to stop thinking about the girl, but you'll be able to do it eventually. Before you do, you'll have to take the right steps to learn how to Fix a Broken Heart.

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3

Make a game plan. Once you've reflected on the reasons behind your obsession with the girl, you need to create a plan to stop thinking of her. You may feel that it will never be possible to forget her, but once you develop a plan and commit to execute it, you'll find that it's easier than you think. Here are some things to include in your plan:

If you haven't done so already, cut off contact with the girl. If the girl is in your group of friends or in your class, try not to go out with your friends quite as much, or try to sit as far away from her as possible. But if you're only in touch with her because you keep talking to her, or if she talks to you just to taunt you, then cut things off. The less time you spend around her, the quicker you will be able to forget her.

Don't stalk her on social media. Make a plan to stop looking at her Facebook page. If you check it all the time, make a goal to check it one time less each day, until you're able to go a day, or even a few days, without checking her profile at all. You can also take more extreme measures by ending your friendship on Facebook, or deactivating your Facebook account all together.

Delete her phone number. If her number is in your phone, get rid of it. If you really need it for some reason, write it down and hide it away.

At the end of each day, try to estimate how much time you spent thinking about her. Make a goal to think about her for thirty minutes less each day. Just note that this may be hard to track, and that if you're obsessing too much about how often you're thinking about the girl, your obsession may get worse.

Set a date for when you will officially forget the girl. It could be a few months, or even a year away.

Be patient. Before you start forgetting the girl, tell yourself that this will take time, and don't get frustrated if you can't stop thinking of the girl right away, or you feel like you're thinking about her even more when you first start executing your plan.

Method 2 of 4: Spend Time With the People You Love

1

Spend time with your family. It's important to spend time with as many people as possible to remind yourself that the girl of your dreams isn't the only other person in the universe. Maintaining a healthy relationship with your family will keep you grounded and from heading into a tailspin of obsessive thinking. Here's what you can do:

If you live near or with your family, offer to help out around the house. You'll not only be helping your busy family members, but you'll feel more useful.

Call home to check in as much as you can. Before you do, you can even jot down a few things to discuss to make sure that you can talk about things other than the girl.

If you're close with your family, ask for advice. Hearing other people in your family talk about their ability to get over a past obsession will make you feel less alone, and like your goal isn't insurmountable.

2

Spend time with your closest friends. Your closest friends can make you feel more loved and needed and can distract you from the girl you're always thinking about. Spend meaningful time hanging out with your friends, or attending concerts or movies with them, in order to take your thoughts off of your girl. Here's what to do:

Find fun activities to do with your friends, such as canoeing, checking out a new restaurant, or training for a 5K together. Having tangible goals to reach together will keep from brooding when you're just sitting around talking to your friends.

Open up to your friends. Without complaining about the girl of your dreams all the time, find a way to discuss your problem and see if they have any insight. If your friends know you're going through a hard time, they will try to hang out with you more and may even force you to get out of the house.

If you're feeling too upset to leave the house, ask your friends to come over. If your obsession is so debilitating on some days that you don't even want to leave the house, ask your friends to come over with a box of pizza or an old movie---you're guaranteed to feel better just from being around them.

3

Spend time with other girls. Even if you're not yet ready to see other girls romantically, don't underestimate the power of hanging out with your close female friends, or just being around the girlfriends of your friends. Here's how this can help:

Think about what makes these particular girls so great. This will make you see that the girl you're thinking about isn't so unique.

After a while, work on seeing other girls on their own terms, without comparing them to the girl you like all the time.

Method 3 of 4: Stay Active

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1

Make a schedule for your day. Don't underestimate the power of a rigorous schedule. There's a good chance that you can't stop obsessing over the girl because you have too much time on your hands. Creating a schedule will keep you focused on what you have to accomplish and won't leave much time for idle thoughts. Here's what you should do:

Create a plan for your mornings. Tell yourself that you have to go for a jog, read five newspaper articles, or accomplish another task by a certain time every morning.

Create a plan for your days. Keep a schedule that includes time spent at work or in school, hanging out with your friends, and pursuing other interests. Check your schedule to make sure you don't have a lot of down time.

Create a plan for your evenings. You may find that you have a lot of free time in the evenings after work or school, so make a goal to read a few chapters of a book, see a new movie, or hang out with your friends every evening so you don't end up staring at the girl's Facebook profile for hours instead.

2

Improve other aspects of your life. If you're so hung up on a girl that you can barely function, chances are that this is because other areas of your life are lacking. Improving other parts of your life, such as your friendships or body image, will not only make you a appier person, but it will also take your mind off your girl. Here's what to do:

Focus on your relationships. If you're having trouble with your friends or family members, try to work them out. You'll feel better because this will make you less alone.

Work on your health. If you're obsessing over a girl, you may not having time to focus on your health, so try to exercise at least three times a week and focus on eating three balanced meals a day.

Change your environment, if you can. If your room or home are in disarray because you've been too busy thinking about your girl to notice the mess, take some time to clean up or rearrange your furniture. Your life will feel less cluttered, and you will be refreshed from the process.

If your general environment, such as your city or workplace, is making you deeply unhappy, then maybe your obsession with the girl is only part of the problem. If you can, change where you live or what you do. If you're in an environment that constantly makes you think of the girl, changing it may be a dramatic move, but it will ease your pain.

Improve your ability to care for others. You may have become so focused on not having your girl that you've stopped looking at the world around you. Work on being a less selfish person by reaching out to volunteer in your community, or by helping your friends or family members accomplish a task, whether it's to fix a piece of furniture or paint a wall.

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3

Pursue a new interest. Doing anything out of your routine or comfort zone will make you feel like you're getting out of your rut. Any new interest you pursue will not remind you of the girl of your dreams and will make you feel like a more dynamic person. Having a new interest will also make you feel like a new-and-improved person and will give you something to look forward to. Here's what you can do:

Take up traveling. Getting away from where you live can help you get out of your own head. If you can't afford to take a vacation, plan to take some weekend trips and invite your friends along.

Express yourself. Take singing, improv, or dancing lessons. This will help you release your emotions and will also just be fun.

Get hooked on a new writer. Lost love is a favorite topic in good literature, and if you discover a new writer who echoes your thoughts, you will feel less alone. Reading will make you a more interesting person---just make sure that reading doesn't make you feel more isolated. If you're reading a book, taking it to a park or a library so you're surrounded by people.

Method 4 of 4: Be Ready to Move On

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1

Start dating again. Once you feel healthy enough to start dating other girls, it's time to put yourself out there. You can start dating again by asking out a new girl you like, asking friends to set you up, or creating an online dating profile. Here's what to do:

Start slowly. When you go on a first date with a new girl you like, take it easy and have fun. Work on having a good time and be serious only when the time comes.

Don't talk about your old obsession. Your new girl will be turned off, and you may look like a person with obsessive tendencies.

Remind yourself that you're not likely to have the same feelings for the first new girl you try dating, but reward yourself for trying.

2

Try to limit your obsessive behavior. It's wonderful that you're ready to move on, but you should work to make your next relationship different from the one you previously had with the girl you couldn't stop thinking about. Try to break the cycle of obsession and despair in the following ways:

Don't get too attached right away. Though it's important to open yourself up to love and you can appreciate a new girl, try not to think about her all the time, or you'll get hurt if the relationship ends. Don't replace obsessing with one girl with obsessing with another, because you won't feel any better.

Keep busy and active even if you found someone you really like. Even if you feel that you were able to forget the previous girl and truly like the new girl you're with, make sure to maintain a busy, active life and fit the new girl in it. If you devote all of your time to the new girl, you're setting yourself up for heartbreak.

If it feels right, open yourself to love. As long as you're not being obsessive, it's okay to love again after a while. You shouldn't be so worried about not getting attached that you're unable to have strong feelings again.

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Tips

Try to laugh more. Watch comedies or hang out with funny people. Being able to laugh will help you put things in perspective and to see that when people say "it's not the end of the world," they really mean it.

People go through ups and downs all the time. On the journey of life, we meet a mix of travelers. It is unlikely that we will only meet a certain type, or only those we like or dislike. After all, it is not a one-way road. At any time, the traffic flows both in and against our direction. Sometimes some people or events can hurt you so bad that you just want to erase them from your memory. You have even forgiven them, you want to move on but you find yourself unable to do so. Take it easy. It’s only human.

There are generally two possibilities that make you remember anyone: either you love that person or you hate that person. And there are only three reasons that make you want to forget somebody. One, their thought wells up negative emotions in you and throws you off-balance. Two, you still love them deeply but they have moved on. Three, despite your love, they don’t love you back. In any case, it hurts. If their memory doesn’t trigger any positive or negative emotion in you, there would be no need to forget that person. In fact, if you neither love nor hate the person you are trying to forget, you will forget them automatically. When their memory sparks neither good nor bad in you, it means you have moved on. But what to do when you do want to forget them? Read on.

If you find yourself thinking about that person, hold a mini self-dialog as the first step. Accept that you are missing them and that you are hurt. Talk to yourself. Repeat it a few times and watch your mind releasing the thought of that person. Releasing their memory is crucial if you want to forget them. A while back, I wrote an article on how to take your mind off unwanted thoughts during your meditation. You can read it here. Apply the same principle.

Give yourself time and each time their thought arises, simply and gently focus your mind elsewhere. Promise yourself that anytime you are reminded of them, you will not let that ruin your peace. And the way to protect your peace is to shift your focus. This is the most powerful method I know of. When the one you love leaves you, it creates a void in your life, a hole in your heart. You keep falling in that pit. You need to fill that gaping hole somehow. It is not easy but it can be done. When their memories come knocking on the doors of your heart, shift your attention. If you can divert your thoughts at that time, gradually the imprints will become lighter, the intensity of their memories will start to diminish.

Two kids found a pouch containing fifteen silver coins. One had spotted it and the other had picked it up. Each claimed ownership of the find. This led to an argument and ultimately they approached the wise Mulla Nasruddin with their quandary.

“Hmmm…so you want me to resolve the matter?”

“Yes, please,” both said in unison.

“Alright, I’ll divide the coins between you two. But tell me, do you want me to do justice like a human or God?”

“Please do as God would.”

He counted the coins and gave twelve to one and three to the other. While they both stood there bewildered, said Mulla plainly, “That’s how He operates.”

Life can be unfair. When trying to forget someone, avoid any intellectual analysis like why it happened to you or how could they do this to you etc.. If you start to dissect, you will only sink in deeper.  Any cogitation will only depress you more, it will drag you back to the field of memories — and that’s exactly what we want to avoid here. Trust me on this one. Simply take your mind off.

Both love and hate fetter you. You cannot forget anyone by continuing to love or hate them. If you want to forget them, you must become indifferent towards them. You become indifferent when you rise above the duality of love and hatred. Both love and hate touch our heart, whatever touches our heart leaves an imprint on our mind. It is those imprints that make up our memory store. It is for this reason that Vedic and other spiritual texts preach one to remain even. Being even is a step higher than being indifferent. Because being even is being indifferent with compassion, with empathy.

The greater the number of memories you have with someone, the harder it is to move on. Because memories indicate a commitment of time. The number of memories is directly proportional to the amount of time you invested with the person. How big or how easily an investment can one write off varies from one person to another. You cannot erase a person from your mind by trying to not think about them.

A good question would be: do you need to forget in order to forgive or must you forgive first so you may forget? Well, when you have negative feelings towards someone: you need to forgive so you may forget. Unless you forgive them, you cannot be even, until you are even, you can’t be indifferent, and forgetting is not possible without indifference. Only what is forgivable is forgettable. Mind you, forgiveness and reconciliation are not synonyms; something for another time.

Love yourself. Value yourself. Consequently, you will not miss those who do not love or value you.

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