The Neurotypical Site



Survey: Relationship Experiences of NeurotypicalsThis survey is regarding the experiences of neurotypical (NT) spouses/partners who are currently in, or were in, an intimate adult relationship with someone diagnosed or suspected of having high functioning autism/Asperger’s syndrome (AS). A NT/NT marriage/adult relationship is unique, just as a parent/child relationship or a sibling/sibling relationship is unique, requiring us to perform different roles and responsibilities, according to the context. Surveys which combine NT/NT marriage relationships with those of parent/child and sibling/sibling relationships distort the different reality of a marriage relationship.Traditional ways of counselling and explaining relationship experiences are irrelevant or do not apply to the atypical interactions in an NT/AS spousal relationship. Hence these survey questions are relationship specific.Please underline the word you feel most describes you and your relationship, for each question, then either attach the saved document in an email or copy and paste your reply into an email to thent@.au or faaas@ using the subject title “survey” If you have any questions or concern don’t hesitate to contact us at those email addresses.The survey may take up to half an hour. You can save the document and return to it at any time. The results will be anonymous and all confidentiality will be respected.The survey results will be used to determine the major areas of difficulties or success for neurotypical spouses/partners in a neurotypical/autism spectrum marriage. The information gathered will be helpful in future efforts to have our voices heard and our stories told.Thank you for your participation.JA Morgan BEd Grad Dip FAAAS Inc. Begin the survey here: Are your perspectives, interests & needs taken into consideration by your partner? Constantly, sometimes, not sure, occasionally, neverDo interactions with your partner leave you feeling a loss of sense of self; insecurity or uncertainty of own reality? Constantly, sometimes, not sure, occasionally, neverAre your emotions acknowledged, validated and respected by your partner?Constantly, sometimes, not sure, occasionally, neverDoes communication with your partner leave unresolved disputes, unfinished business and unresolved emotional upset? Constantly, sometimes, not sure, occasionally, neverAre there ever mutually satisfactory resolutions to everyday problems or situations? Constantly, sometimes, not sure, occasionally, neverDo you feel there’s a lack of regard for your input, a return of understanding of your feelings or emotional support for you in everyday interactions? Constantly, sometimes, not sure, occasionally, never?Is there spontaneous intimate connection such as “pillow talk”, real friendship, loving foreplay in your relationship? Constantly, sometimes, not sure, occasionally, neverDo you have a mutual process for redress and receive “natural justice” when you feel you’ve been wronged? Constantly, sometimes, not sure, occasionally, never?Do your efforts to make yourself "heard" result in resolution of your difficulties? Constantly, sometimes, not sure, occasionally, neverAre you and your partner able to engage in mutual loving banter? Constantly, sometimes, not sure, occasionally, neverDo you feel loneliness in your relationship? Constantly, sometimes, not sure, occasionally, neverAre there many shared positive memories of you and your partner’s lives together? Constantly, sometimes, not sure, occasionally, never?Are your perspectives acknowledged and validated by your partner? Constantly, sometimes, not sure, occasionally, neverDoes your partner deny your truth? Constantly, sometimes, not sure, occasionally, neverDo you feel gas-lighted, manipulated into doubting your own truth and your sanity? Constantly, sometimes, not sure, occasionally, neverDo you feel self-doubt? Constantly, sometimes, not sure, occasionally, neverDo you have a broad, fulfilling life and social experiences? Constantly, sometimes, not sure, occasionally, neverDo you feel you are the object of misunderstandings? Constantly, sometimes, not sure, occasionally, neverDo you feel unfairly blamed? Constantly, sometimes, not sure, occasionally, never?Have you developed feelings of strong anger arising from what you consider to be injustice and false accusations in your relationship? Constantly, sometimes, not sure, occasionally, neverDo you feel a strong requirement socially and emotionally to fix the consequences of your partner’s inappropriate actions or words outside the home? Constantly, sometimes, not sure, occasionally, neverDo you feel you are living in insufficient or unsafe conditions? Constantly, sometimes, not sure, occasionally, never?Is there a dismissal by your partner of your concerns and reality? Constantly, sometimes, not sure, occasionally, neverDo you feel intimidated & humiliated during interactions with your partner? Constantly, sometimes, not sure, occasionally, neverAre you affected by family violence and or abuse? Constantly, sometimes, not sure, occasionally, neverDo you feel there’s a deficiency of positive feedback or assistance in your relationship? Constantly, sometimes, not sure, occasionally, neverDo you experience undesired isolation? Constantly, sometimes, not sure, occasionally, neverDo you feel your relationship experience provides options for your full participation in life? Constantly, sometimes, not sure, occasionally, neverDo you lead a controlled, narrow social life? Constantly, sometimes, not sure, occasionally, never?Do you feel there’s a deficiency of warm physical contact in your relationship? Constantly, sometimes, not sure, occasionally, neverDo you lead a life of enforced or deliberate celibacy? Constantly, sometimes, not sure, occasionally, neverHave you been subjected to unwanted or uncomfortable sexual assault in your relationship? Constantly, sometimes, not sure, occasionally, neverDo you feel an obligation to repair social gaffes & misunderstandings by your partner? Constantly, sometimes, not sure, occasionally, neverDo you feel socially mimicked and depended upon as a social “seeing–eye dog” by your partner? Constantly, sometimes, not sure, occasionally, neverDo you feel more like a parent to your partner? Constantly, sometimes, not sure, occasionally, neverDo you feel you are an object of manipulation? Constantly, sometimes, not sure, occasionally, neverDo inconsistent messages of love characterise your relationship? Constantly, sometimes, not sure, occasionally, neverDo you feel a loss of trust in your partner? Constantly, sometimes, not sure, occasionally, neverDo you feel a loss of trust in yourself and your ability to function in everyday life? Constantly, sometimes, not sure, occasionally, neverDo you feel unrequited love? Constantly, sometimes, not sure, occasionally, neverHave you lost self-esteem? Constantly, sometimes, not sure, occasionally, neverDo you feel unappreciated by your partner? Constantly, sometimes, not sure, occasionally, neverDo you feel manipulated and used by your partner to solely meet his or her needs? Constantly, sometimes, not sure, occasionally, neverDo you feel an obligation to solely accommodate your partner’s needs without compromise or negotiation? Constantly, sometimes, not sure, occasionally, neverDo you feel hopelessness in seeking your partner’s opinions or commitment to everyday situations? Constantly, sometimes, not sure, occasionally, neverDo you feel an obligation to prompt your partner or to fulfil their neglected duties? Constantly, sometimes, not sure, occasionally, neverDo you feel an obligation to solve urgent household disasters alone and for your partner? Constantly, sometimes, not sure, occasionally, neverDo you feel an obligation to remind and prompt your partner with cues about everyday situations? Constantly, sometimes, not sure, occasionally, neverDo you experience confusing interactions & conversations with your partner? Constantly, sometimes, not sure, occasionally, neverDo you have feelings of not being understood? Constantly, sometimes, not sure, occasionally, neverDo you feel the need to guide and assist your partner to avoid embarrassment for them? Constantly, sometimes, not sure, occasionally, neverDo you feel you have a superficial, unfulfilling relationship? Constantly, sometimes, not sure, occasionally, neverDo you suffer any physical illness as a result of stress? Constantly, sometimes, not sure, occasionally, neverDo you sense your partner’s lack of response, unusual movements and/or unusual facial expressions as intimidation? Constantly, sometimes, not sure, occasionally, neverDo you live with constant stress? Constantly, sometimes, not sure, occasionally, neverDo you feel fear? Constantly, sometimes, not sure, occasionally, neverDo you have unresolved anger about your relationship? Constantly, sometimes, not sure, occasionally, neverDo you feel you live with domestic abuse and/or violence? Constantly, sometimes, not sure, occasionally, neverDo you feel appreciated? Constantly, sometimes, not sure, occasionally, neverDo you feel loved during love making and romance? Constantly, sometimes, not sure, occasionally, neverDo you have your privacy when needed? Constantly, sometimes, not sure, occasionally, neverAre your belongings respected? Constantly, sometimes, not sure, occasionally, neverDoes your partner exhibit unexpected explosive outbursts? Constantly, sometimes, not sure, occasionally, neverAre your attempts to initiate conversation interrupted and wrongly interpreted? Constantly, sometimes, not sure, occasionally, neverDo you “walk on eggshells” to avoid conflict and keep the peace? Constantly, sometimes, not sure, occasionally, neverHave you found counselling to be helpful and relevant? Constantly, sometimes, not sure, occasionally, neverDoes the phrase: Death by a thousand paper cuts, express how feel in your relationship? Constantly, sometimes, not sure, occasionally, neverDo you think you suffer from Ongoing Traumatic Relationship Syndrome (OTRS)? Constantly, sometimes, not sure, occasionally, neverAny Comments: ................
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