Husband and Wife in Paradise - Clover Sites



Husband and Wife in Paradise Text: Gen 2:15-25Christian Marriage is a wonderful institution. It requires blood, sweat, and tears, but on the long run it brings great happiness and satisfaction. However, the institution of marriage, in the Western World, is `under attack. Confusion abounds. Here are some symptoms. Gender Feminism has devalued the role of Husband/Father. Therefore, men are increasingly reluctant to marry. The divorce rate approaches 50%. The affirmation of homosexual behavior, and the endorsement of homosexual marriage have become the new litmus test for social credibility and acceptance. Parenting is not doing much better. Fertility rates are plummeting. The ever-present reality of Abortion on demand stains our social conscience. Despite the ready availability of abortion and highly effective means of birth control, still over 40% of live births are to single moms. God has a better plan. This week and next week’s sermons are about marriage. I have titled today’s talk Husband and Wife in paradise. It is about the flourishing of marriage for the glory of God. The point of this talk is that God intended the male-female relationship to be wonderful in a way that our sin-saturated minds cannot imagine. By biblical standards, our expectations for happiness in marriage and parenting are usually substandard. Of course, this kind of happiness is not what many experience. In the Western World, relationships between men and women are in an advanced stage of decay. One out of three American adults have experienced at least one divorce. In addition, a militant gender-feminism has pitted the sexes against each other. This is not God’s plan for the church. I want to convince you that, to the degree that we follow God’s blueprint, we are most apt to maximize our relational happiness. Most importantly, when God’s people find their happiness in him, and they follow his blueprint for marriage, God gets the glory. From Genesis Two I want to extract two principles. God created men and women equal in dignity and value.God created men and women with different roles in marriage and church. Equal in Value Most people think Christian teaching about men and women’s roles enslaves women and empower men. The truth is the opposite. Christianity is the only world religion that elevates the status of women. It alone gives women equal status with men. This is not the case with its competitors. The teachings of Buddhism, Shintoism, and Hinduism routinely deny women equality with men. Nowhere is this truer than with Islam. Secularism, like Christianity’s other competitors, also ultimately oppresses women. It doesn’t do that by prohibiting equal opportunity. It oppresses women by denying the God given differences between men and women. For example, most people think that feminism, an expression of modern secularism, liberates women. The truth is just the opposite. Feminism profoundly oppresses women and children even while it liberates men from meaningful social responsibility. God has a better plan. It appears in the second chapter of Genesis. The first thing we learn is that God created men and women equal in value, equal in worth, and equal in dignity. This was radical teaching 4,000 years ago. The term “equal in value” means that Adam and Eve both had equal access to the grace of God and the glory of God. In other words, he created both sexes in his image and likeness, to share his glory. Two pictures of this occur in Genesis chapter two. Adam Rejects the AnimalsFirst, God’s presentation of the animals to Adam makes this clear. Why did Adam reject the animals? He was looking for a “helper” that was an equal, and the animals were ontologically inferior. Application: Pets cannot replace your spouse. Men, God has designed your wife to be a mega-blessing. God took Eve from Adam’s SideSecond, God created Adam from the ground, but not Eve. To emphasize her unique status, and the joy that she was supposed to bring, he created Eve from Adam’s side. In the words of the Puritans, she was not created from his head to Lord it over him, nor from his feet so that he could lord it over her. Instead, God took her from Adam’s side, from a rib over his heart, as a sign of his love and care for her, to signify that she was his equal, his companion, his beloved, his delight, and his friend. God created Eve for Adam, and he created Adam to “cherish and nourish” her.In summary, the text makes her ontological equality clear. First, Adam did not chose an animal helper, and second, God took her from Adam’s side. All of this occurred in an atmosphere free from sin. They felt no guilt or shame. It occurred in an environment of love, tenderness, intimacy, and mutual care. Today, women read romance novels to fill the void in their hearts for this kind of relationship. God created Eve for Adam with this kind of tender relationship in mind. In other words, God created man and woman to share his unblemished love with each other forever. The second chapter of Genesis ends on a high note. “And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed." Among other things, this means that Adam and Eve enjoyed sex as God meant it to be enjoyed, in the context of a committed, life-long, exclusive relationship of mutual serving and loving. Steve DeWitt writes, “The last verse of Genesis 2 describes the vulnerability they enjoyed with God and one another: “And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed” (Genesis 2:25). We were spiritually naked before God. Everything was in perfect harmony: man and nature, man and wife, man and God. It was life as God intended.” Different in FunctionHowever, the story doesn’t stop there. They weren’t just created equal in value. To maximize their joy, God created them to fulfill different roles in marriage and church. Hierarchy at the Core of RealityGod created Adam and Eve in a “relational” hierarchy. The word “hierarchy” is politically incorrect. We don’t like this word because we are sinners, and sinners use hierarchies to oppress their subordinates. However, in an environment free from sin, in an atmosphere of absolute love, free from selfishness, hierarchy is not, nor can it be, oppressive. Rather, hierarchy is a beautiful thing, a tremendously liberating reality. (1 Corinthians 11:3) "3 But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God."Our culture objects to any form of hierarchy. ANECDOTE: Sister Elizabeth. God made Adam the head of their relationship. Three facts in Genesis 1-3 make this clear. 1st God created Adam first. Before he created Eve, God commanded Adam to abstain from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil (Gen. 2:16-17). Although God created Eve later, he did not speak this command to her directly. That was Adam’s job. In the words of Ephesians 5 he was to “wash her with the water of God’s word.” In other words, when it concerned their marriage and family, God spoke to Eve through Adam, her spiritual head. Application: It is the husband’s job to initiate Bible reading. It is the husband’s job to insure that the family attends a church that preaches God’s word. 2nd God held Adam, not Eve, responsible for their marriage. Although Eve first ate from the forbidden Tree, scripture never calls it the sin of Eve. It is always the sin of Adam. "But the Lord God called to the man and said to him, “Where are you?” 10 And he said, “I heard the sound of you in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked, and I hid myself” (Gen. 3:9-10). 3rd God created Eve for Adam. He did not create Adam for Eve. (1 Corinthians 11:7–9) "7 For a man ought not to cover his head, since he is the image and glory of God, but woman is the glory of man. 8 For man was not made from woman, but woman from man. 9 Neither was man created for woman, but woman for man.”A few verses later Paul gets really radical. He establishes the ontological equality of the sexes. (1 Corinthians 11:11–12) "11 Nevertheless, in the Lord woman is not independent of man nor man of woman; 12 for as woman was made from man, so man is now born of woman. And all things are from God."All of this Paul gets from Genesis chapter two. Different Roles God created Adam and Eve to serve/love each other differently. In his relationship with Eve, had three responsibilities. God created Adam to lead Eve. God created him to provide for her. God created him to protect her. By contrast, God created Eve to love Adam by “helping” him fulfill his calling (Gen 2:18). He did not create Eve primarily to fulfill a loneliness void. Adam’s social needs were met by God. He created Eve to fill a functional void. God created her to make up for his inadequacies. He could not be fruitful, and fill the earth by himself. Adam had two callings—work the ground and multiply and fill the earth. By himself Adam could not accomplish these. He was biologically, emotionally, and intellectually inadequate for this task. Eve was the missing piece. Her primary job was bearing and nurturing children. Together they would produce offspring. Together they would share the joys and delights of parenting children and through them exercising dominion over the earth. Adam also needed Eve’s help to fulfill his task of working the ground. This means that Christian couples marry to, amongst other things, accomplish two biblically defined goals. The first is the maximization of God’s glory through the husband’s calling. (This does not mean that married women cannot work). It means that if they do work they are clear on their role. The second goal is the training and nurturing of godly, productive children. Several years ago I hired a married mother of four to work in my office. She was bright, articulate, and well educated. Her children were in High School. She was a Christian, and she was clear on her relationship with her husband. In our employment interview I asked what would happen if her husband was transferred out of the area?“On this issue my mind is already made up,” she answered. “I have a job, but my husband has the family career. If he gets transferred I will go with him and serve him.” This woman understood her role. She and her husband were a team with one objective. She had a job but her first task was to be her husband’s helper. She married him to help him succeed and to help him raise a family. She would not let her job get between her and that objective. Selfish ambition in either husband or wife will unravel these two goals. God’s paradise will become an earthly hell. Both we and our children will suffer. It is important to note that selfish ambition is the root of gender feminism. In her book, The Essence of Feminism, Kirsten Birket observes, “The liberation that feminism wants is the freedom to be the same as the most irresponsible of men. It is the freedom to be utterly self-centered and to sacrifice others for one’s own convenience and comfort—the very accusation that feminists have thrown against men.” By contrast, the unselfish practice of biblical headship and submission by a man and wife both sacrificing for the glory of God, the good of his career and the good of their children is at the heart of human flourishing. God is infinitely good. He has established sex roles in marriage for our happiness. Marriage God’s way works. Adam and Eve were happy because they followed God’s script. Martin Luther wrote, “There is no more lovely, friendly or charming relationship, communion, or company, than a good marriage.” And Solomon adds, “An excellent wife is the crown of her husband” (Pr. 12:4). Solomon doesn’t stop there. “He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the Lord” (Pr. 18:22). On the other hand, when individuals, and cultures, abandon God’s script misery ensues. Adam and Eve experienced that misery. That is what happened. They lost the Paradise that God originally intended. Paradise LostThe Marriage relationship is, and always has been, a focal point of spiritual warfare. It is the subject of the first demonic attack in scripture. The weapons of Satan’s warfare are consistent and predictable. Read Gen 3:1-7, 16Four expression of spiritual warfare occur in Genesis three. They reoccurred consistently throughout history. 1st The Serpent ignored Adam and went right after Eve. “And he said to the woman, ‘did God actually say?’” Vs 1. God gave the initial command to Adam. Here is the big question: Did Adam pass it on to Eve? Did he wash her in God’s Word? 2nd Adam watched passively. “She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate.” Vs 6. 3rd Eve acted autonomously. She should have said to the Serpent, “I need to consult my husband about this. I am his helper, and he is my protector.” But, she didn’t. She tried to handle it on her own. 4th Adam seems to have feared Eve’s disapproval more than he feared God’s disapproval. “She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate.” Vs 6.God’s judgment was decisive and swift. First, God judged the sex roles that he had created for Adam and Eve’s flourishing. “Your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you.”(Genesis 3:16b) This means that the wife will desire to dominate her husband but that he will respond with a show of strength and forcefully subjugate her. In other words, tension, stress and strife will mark the husband/wife relationship from this point forward. Second, God responded by giving Adam, Eve, and all of their descendants up to what Adam and Eve wanted, autonomy from God. God afflicted them with the deception that they really were gods, that they were competitors to the living God. This is one angle on Original Sin. It’s root and foundation is pride. Pride expresses itself as impatience, harshness, irritability, condescension, selfishness, self-will, bitterness, impatience, irritability, complaining, self-pity, demanding my own way, talking too much, selfish ambition, etc. So what? In the area of marriage our culture increasingly yields to the Serpent’s authority. He has had his way with us. Most tragically, the church has increasingly capitulated to the Devil’s cultural norms. To the degree that we do this great pain will abound. By contrast, God created marriage to be a Paradise in experience. God created Adam and Eve to love and serve each other in a hierarchy of love, joy, and peace. Sin entered in Genesis three. We are sinners. We can lay all of our marital sorrows at the feet of two issues—indwelling sin (pride) and a breakdown in God’s governmental order. You can begin to move back to the Paradise that God intended by submitting to God’s plan for marriage. Husbands, don’t be passive. Shoulder Responsibility!Husbands, fear God’s disapproval more than your wife’s. Wives, don’t marry if you want a full time career. Once you marry your job is to raise children and support your husband’s career. Everyone: Immerse yourself in the grace of the gospel. It gives us freedom to fail. Be watchful. The “devil prowls around like a roaring lion seeking someone to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith” (1 Pet. 5:8). “You do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.” (Eph 6:12). Next Week: Paradise Restored…. ................
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