Revising and Editing Practice .docx



Revising and Editing PracticeSantos has written a report about allusions to Greek and Roman mythology found in modern advertising and life. He has requested that you look over his essay. As you read it, look for revisions he should make. Then answer the questions that follow.Mythology and Modern Life(1) Familiarity with the characters and story’s of Greek and Roman mythology enables people to better appreciate many of the allusions that surround them in modern times. (2) Not only do many references to Greek and Roman gods, goddesses, and stories appear in literature, but there are also many everyday expressions that are difficult to understand without some knowledge of it. (3) For example, many products on the market today are advertised with references to the gods and heroes of the ancient Greeks and Romans.(4) Could the sports company Nike have been counting on people realizing that Nike was the Greek god of victory, and is their curved slash symbol perhaps intended to represent the wings that Nike supposedly had? (5) Is it simply coincidence that FTD florists display a winged messenger, the Roman god Mercury, on their ads, implying swift delivery of their flower orders? (6) The serpent twined around a pole, known as a caduceus, is found on many medical supply companies’ logos. (7) The caduceus also appears on the side of ambulances. (8) The caduceus was carried by Hermes, and it was believed to possess healing properties. (9) Pegasus, the winged horse, appeared in red for the former Mobil gas company, conveying the idea that using Mobil gasoline would increase the speed and power of your auto. (10) Athena, the goddess of wisdom, is associated with the owl, which is why many education-oriented companies incorporate the owl into their logos.(11) Additionally, many modern names are derived from characters in Greek and Roman mythology. (12) Ships and submarines carry such names as Trident and Neptune. (13) In the 1970s, The Poseidon Adventure, a disaster movie, was centered around the sinking of a ship. (14) It is a natural impulse to name ocean-going vessels for the mighty god of the sea or for his symbol, the trident. (15) The association of various types of vehicles with powerful, strong mythological characters add to the aura of these vehicles. (16) For example, the U.S. space program had the Apollo and Mercury series of satellites, and we now have cars named Mercury and Saturn. (17) Tires for these cars are made of “vulcanized” rubber, evoking Vulcan, god of the forge, and one brand of tires is named Atlas, for the Greek hero who was strong enough to carry the world on his shoulders. (18) Then there is Ceres, the Roman goddess of the harvest, who was the inspiration for calling foods made of grain “cereal.” (19) We have flowers called narcissus and hyacinth, both of which come from stories found in Greek mythology. (20) When we look at the names of the Planets, stars, and constellations, we see again the overwhelming influence of the Greeks and Romans. (21) Jupiter, Saturn, Neptune, Mars, Venus, Pluto, Uranus, and Mercury are all planets in our solar system, and they are each aptly named. (22) Jupiter, the largest planet, is named for the most powerful of the Roman gods. (23) Mars, the “red planet,” looks rather angry or fierce; the planet is named for the Roman god of war. (24) And Mercury, like the messenger god, is the swiftest of all the planets in its orbit around the sun.(25) Many modern day expressions are based on tales of the ancient Greeks and Romans, in addition to names, and our ability to grasp the meaning of the expressions is dependent upon our understanding of the ancient stories. (26) If someone tells you that you have the strength of Hercules, you must know that Hercules was considered the strongest hero of the Greeks so that you understand that you’re being complimented rather than insulted. (27) If you know that the owl is the bird of Athena, then you know that “as wise as an owl” does not mean the same as “bird-brained.” (28) Familiarity with the story of Daedalus and Icarus helps explain the common warning to be careful not to “fly too close to the sun.” (29) To be “caught between a rock and a hard place,” a phrase which describes any difficult dilemma an individual might face is a reference to Odysseus, a whirlpool; coming too close to either would result in certain death.(30) Clearly, familiarity with mythology helps us understand many expressions in our everyday lives and grasp the meaning behind names and advertisements.Sentence 2 is unclear because it contains an indefinite reference. Santos can clarify the meaning of this sentence by changing it to – themliteraturemythologythisWhich sentence could Santos add to the beginning of the second paragraph (sentences 4-10) to introduce the ideas in that paragraph?Ad writers are aware that athletes will be persuaded by mythological references.Those who design advertisements often seem to depend on the ancients for inspiration to promote their modern products.People who design advertisements know that their audiences are well educated in mythology.People who are ignorant of mythology are likely to miss out on the opportunity to buy many outstanding products.What is the most effective way to combine sentences 6-8?The serpent twined around a pole, known as a caduceus, is found on many medical supply companies’ logos and on the side of ambulances because it was carried by Hermes and was believed to possess healing properties.Although the serpent twined around a pole, known as a caduceus, is found on many medical supply companies’ logos and on the side of ambulances, the caduceus was carried by Hermes and it was also believed to possess healing properties.The serpent twined around a pole, known as a caduceus, is found on many medical supply companies’ logos, and the caduceus is also found on the side of ambulances; the caduceus was carried by Hermes and it was believed to possess healing properties.The caduceus, a serpent twined around a pole, found on many medical supply companies’ logos and on the side of ambulances, carried by Hermes and believed to possess healing properties.What is the most effective way to rewrite sentence 25?Many modern day expressions are based on tales of the ancient Greeks and Romans, and our ability to grasp the meaning of these expressions is dependent upon our understanding the ancient stories, in addition to names.In addition to names, many modern day expressions are based on tales of the ancient Greeks and Romans, and our ability to grasp the meaning of these expressions is dependent upon our understanding the ancient stories.Our ability to grasp the meaning of many modern day expressions is based on understanding the tales of the ancient Greeks and Romans, in addition to names and the ancient stories.Depending upon our understanding of the ancient stories, many modern day expressions are based on tales of the ancient Greeks and Romans.Which transition should Santos add after the semicolon in sentence 23?nevertheless,in addition,in other words,thus,What change, if any, should be made in sentence 1?Change enables to enableChange allusions to illusionsChange story’s to storiesMake no change.What change, if any, should be made in sentence 15?Change add to addsDelete the comma after powerfulChange characters to charactersMake no change.What change, if any, needs to be made in sentence 17?Delete the comma after forgeChange world to WorldChange Atlas to atlasMake no change.What change, if any, should be made in sentence 20?Change see to sawDelete the comma after constellationsChange Planets to planetsMake no change.What change should be made in sentence 29?Insert a comma after faceChange reference to referrenceChange too to toChange would result to resultingTeacher Key and Explanations:(C) mythology. From the context of sentence 1, it is clear that a knowledge of mythology is helpful for understanding allusions and references in literature and in everyday expressions.(B) Those who design advertisements often seem to depend on the ancients for inspiration to promote their modern products. This sentence introduces the wide range of supporting evidence presented in sentence 4 and implies that athletes are the only audience targeted by mythological references. Answer choice C makes an insupportable presumption that advertisers know something about their audience. Answer choice D similarly makes an assumption that because people are ignorant of mythological references they will not buy a product.(A) The serpent twined around a pole, known as a caduceus, is found on many medical supply companies’ logos and on the side of ambulances because it was carried by Hermes and was believed to possess healing properties. This revision effectively eliminates the unnecessary repetition (“The caduceus”) in the original sentences. Answer choice C retains much of this repetition. Answer choice B incorrectly suggests, with the word “Although,” an opposition not present in the original sentences. Answer choice D is a sentence fragment with no main verb.(B) In addition to names, many modern day expressions are based on tales of the ancient Greeks and Romans, and our ability to grasp the meaning of these expressions is dependent upon our understanding the ancient stories. This revision corrects the confusion created by the placement of the phrase “in addition to names,” which appears to modify the verb “are based” when it actually modifies the noun “expressions.” The placement of this phrase in answer choice A makes it appear that the phrase modifies the noun “stories.” The placement of this phrase in answer choice C makes it appear that the phrase modifies the verb “understanding.” The placement of the participial phrase in answer choice D makes it appear that it modifies the noun “expressions.”(D) thus,. This transition correctly indicates that what follows is a direct result or consequence of what is stated in the preceding clause. Answer choice A would incorrectly suggest that what follows is somehow opposed to what precedes it. Answer choice B would incorrectly imply that what follows is simply additional information to what precedes it. Answer choice C would incorrectly suggest that what follows is merely a restatement of the preceding clause.(C) Change story’s to stories. The correct spelling of the plural of the noun “story” is “stories.” The singular subject “Familiarity” requires a singular verb. The noun “allusions” (references) is spelled correctly; an “illusion” is a false perception.(A) Change add to adds. The singular subject “association” requires a singular verb. A comma is needed after “strong” to separate the coordinate adjectives. The plural noun “characters” is spelled correctly since there is no possession indicated.(D) No change needs to be made in this sentence. A comma is needed after “forge” to set off the appositive. The word “world” is a common noun. The word “Atlas” in this sentence is the name of a brand of tires.(C) Change Planets to planets. The word “planets” is a common noun. Answer choice A would create an incorrect tense shift. A comma is needed after “constellations” to set off the introductory clause.(A) Insert a comma after face. A comma is needed after “face” to set off the appositive. The words “reference” and “too” (the adverb meaning excessively) are spelled correctly. Answer choice D would create an error in punctuation by changing an independent clause into verbal phrases. ................
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