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Aug 11, 2013Malachi 2 – Godly MarriagesOne Means One Hook: 3 min.**Marriage funnies: Princess Bride video clip – “Marriage is the reason we’re here.” Familiar with the story of Princess Bride she’s being forced into an arranged marriage but her heart belongs to Wesley; she has faith that he will come rescue her. Wesley has fought for Buttercup, sacrificed for her, protected her, been tortured to the point of death for her, and even though Buttercup’s been told Wesley is dead, she knows that he will rescue her -- true love.Your marriage was probably not an arranged marriage, stood beside fiancé at the altar -- married for true love. If not married, maybe you’ve witnessed wedding vows of a close friend or family member.*As a couple on wedding day, standing in front of room full of witnesses, groom is lookin’ fine, bride is beautiful, entrusting yourself to their tender loving care and light the unity candle and before God and all witnesses, become ONE, One Flesh. Not thinking about: whose going to control the thermostat; whose cleaning out the refrigerator, whose making the final decisions, endless discussions on what to eat, you didn’t foresee runny noses, dirty diapers, loads laundry, endless meals mac and cheese, not thinking about who’s killing the spiders, who’s picking up dirty laundry - “are those YOUR socks on the floor,” why the person taking out the garbage can’t replace the bag, who used the last of the milk – none for my coffee, who snores he loudest, whose making the final decisions, why is visiting your family our vacation, oh TRUE LOVE committed to each other regardless circumstances. Malachi 2 name in Hebrew means “Messenger” Malachi has msg to deliver. God’s people forgot their vows to the One God, they’ve forgot their vows to one another now fractured relationships in marriage and with God. God made a covenant with Israel/Judah, he would watch over them, provide for them and bless them and their children’s children. In their wait for the Messiah, grown weary, complacent, saying “Where is God, Where is his justice?” Problem: they’ve become lazy in their vows to God.One in Body and Spirit – Malachi 2:10-17 10 Are we not all children of the same Father? Are we not all created by the same God? Then why do we betray each other, violating the covenant of our ancestors?11 Judah has been unfaithful, and a detestable thing has been done in Israel and in Jerusalem. The men of Judah have defiled the Lord’s beloved sanctuary by marrying women who worship idols. 12 May the Lord cut off from the nation of Israel[a] every last man who has done this and yet brings an offering to the Lord of Heaven’s Armies.13 Here is another thing you do. You cover the Lord’s altar with tears, weeping and groaning because he pays no attention to your offerings and doesn’t accept them with pleasure. 14 You cry out, “Why doesn’t the Lord accept my worship?” I’ll tell you why! Because the Lord witnessed the vows you and your wife made when you were young. But you have been unfaithful to her, though she remained your faithful partner, the wife of your marriage vows.15 Didn’t the Lord make you one with your wife? In body and spirit you are his.[b] And what does he want? Godly children from your union. So guard your heart; remain loyal to the wife of your youth. 16 “For I hate divorce!” says the Lord, the God of Israel. “To divorce your wife is to overwhelm her with cruelty,[c]” says the Lord of Heaven’s Armies. “So guard your heart; do not be unfaithful to your wife.”17 You have wearied the Lord with your words. “How have we wearied him?” you ask. You have wearied him by saying that all who do evil are good in the Lord’s sight, and he is pleased with them. You have wearied him by asking, “Where is the God of justice?” Problem: More Than One – people (5 min) *v.17 – Where is God?*God doesn’t love us (1:2); too hard to serve God he doesn’t like the offerings we bring to the altar (1:13); God’s leaders are humiliated b/c haven’t obeyed God, made their own rules (2:9); God doesn’t answer our prayers (2:13); and there is no point in serving God, we’ve tried to follow his commands and to say we’re sorry for our sins – no justice (3:14). We have done nothing wrong (1:6), and we are faithful about giving the offerings (1:6; 2:12).*God’s answer – YOU have twisted my justice; made your own laws to make allowances for the way you’re living, and then blame Me.*Sick, Crippled, Stolen sacrifices (1:13); dishonor (pollute) My Name (1:12); break promises to Me; promised to bring your BEST offering(1:14); stopped teaching My Word of truth (2:7); disobeyed Me in marriage (2:11) you divorced the wives of your youth, b/c they no longer please you. (2:15-16); call evil “good” then blame Me (2:17); cheat employees, foreigners, widows and orphans (3:5) and don’t give me the full tithe (3:8). “You weary me by asking, “Where is the God of justice?”**I LOVE YOU forever, God’s feelings never change toward his children– you are his. (1.2) – God’s love is unconditional, but God’s blessings are conditional. Obedience is the condition that brings God’s blessings.*There are no short cuts to become “fully devoted” followers of Jesus.We want the full blessing, but we don’t want to do the hard work, uncomfortable -- sacrifice. When you stand on that altar saying vows getting lost in other’s eyes, you think you’re “Crazy In Love,” and “All You Need Is Love,” but marriage is hard work, two people becoming one flesh is not “magical,” it’s a lifetime of learning to love each other. Do we obey God even when marriage becomes difficult? Do we trust God?Situation/Problem – marriage covenant broken/ divorce/ (5min)*V.11 – marrying women who don’t worship the LordGod forbid them to intermarry with nations that worshiped idols, other gods, Deut 7:3 When they ignored God’s laws they broke the conditions of the covenant, the promise they made to God.Is 44:16-17 God’s emotional selfie. You put wood in fire to burn, from what’s left you carve a doll and bow down and worship and pray to it saying “Rescue me, you are my god.” Is 44:16-17 King Solomon idolatry was the cause of his downfall, married women who worshiped pagan idols. God took away his kingship and turned Israel over to their enemies. Prophet Ezra was born into this captivity, he grieved and interceded for his country, Israel, he mourned for the broken vows, 2:4 “I send you this warning that that my covenant with the Levites can continue . . .the purpose of the covenant was to bring life and peace and that is what I, God gave them. This required reverence from them . . . they stood in awe of my name, they passed on the truth of the instruction they received from me. They did not lie or cheat; they walked with me, living good and righteous lives, and they turned many from lives of sin. – v8 You left God’s paths, and corrupted the covenant. Ezra cried out to God to restore Israel’s peace and prosperity. Eza 9-10 – but continued to be a problemIsrael continues to break covenant with God: divorcing wife of their youth, marrying women who worship other idol gods*V.14 – Divorce was very common perhaps b/c most marriages were arranged. – In mid-life men opted to divorce their Jewish wife and marry a Gentile woman: Did burnt the challah, the bread, was she nagging too much, husband issues a certificate of divorce, sends the wife away.V.15 – Now Priest, leaders, have married Gentile women and with them they bring their family idols of wood and stone into their new home, the union of marriage God wants godly children – now the entire household is being led away from the one God to follow other gods, idols made of stone and wood. Israel spiraled into complacency, lazy in their worship, tired of waiting for God to show up, changed the rules to make their lives comfortable – they can divorce their wives, offer God leftovers, and chase after foreign gods. They forgot their covenant with God, their vow to worshiping One God: Our Vow: Being one with God. In our culture we have idols that lure us away from God.During the pandemic, more people are stuck at home, what are we going to do: watch more television, eat more food, more time phones, watch more news, more movies, more time on internet, more time shopping online. Seems innocent enough – content. Does content alter the thoughts that race through your head? Do pastimes, hobbies, threaten the integrity of your marriage vows? V.10 – We are all one family, with One Father – our Father God. Don’t break the covenant of one flesh. Being one with God is the best gift I can give to my spouse.(married, or want to be married)I Cor 6:17,19 “The person joined to the Lord is one spirit with him.“Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the HS who is living in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body.”Is it even possible be one with mate and not one with God? – chances are less likely; depend on your own goodness, your moral compass to equip you instead of God. Being one with God, means have the Holy Spirit living within to guide you, empower you to love your spouse even when you wake up irritated with the world. In Christian relationships (married or want to be married) there is nothing more attractive than knowing who you are in Christ – being secure in your relationship with God. Single people: your praying for a spouse with strong relationship with Christ. Married: don’t depend on spouse keep filling your up – drains the other person. You support one another, your anchor is Christ. Married to someone who doesn’t have a relationship with Christ; harder life, don’t give up, live to win your spouse to Christ. GOAL: Be ONE with God. 2:5 Live in reverence of God -- Israel was in AWE of the wrong things – they gave their heart to other gods and to idols.Steps to being one with God. Live in worship! Praise and Scripture, Awe and gratitude -- not complacency thinking doesn’t matter –matters to God.Worship God by offering him your best, not the leftovers: time in Word, titheEliminate your idols: things that compete for your time and affection.Being one with God empowers us to carefully live out Mal 2:15 “Guard your heart; remain loyal to the wife of your youth.”Worship is our offense guards our heart by keeping us in the presence of the living God, guards eyes and our hearts. Vow of One Flesh means:Sleeping the same bed, keeping the mind pure, raising children together, don’t have kids, together your caring pets, sharing the same food, kissing when you haven’t brushed your teeth, sharing the same toothbrush – okay, maybe that’s where you draw the line.Being kind to one another. You wouldn’t antagonize your own flesh.Letting your guard down before the Lord, stop being defensive, so you can focus more energy on your spouse and see his/her point of view. What’s important to him/her. Spend time figuring it out. We are not the same people we were 33 years ago. When we let each other down, still saying, “I still love you.” Partners in forgiveness. Marriage is a mirror of Christ and his church. God doesn't want perfect marriages he wants oneness in marriage.Jesus is our first love. It's impossible to worship Jesus with your heart, soul, and mind and have impure thoughts. Space sold out to Jesus, God, HS.One flesh means when we married you have your “to do” list, I have my “to do” list and Everything gets accomplished. You clean bathrooms, I’ll pay the bills, You cook the dinner, I’ll do the washing, You service the cars, I’ll stock the refrigerator, You change the diapers, I’ll empty the trash. . . We divvy up the chores -- everyone’s happy and Everything gets accomplished. Invariably someone crosses lanes and tries to help you improve how you “cook the steak,” how you “pay the bills and handle the finances,” “how you stock the refrigerator,” “how you clean the kitchen,” and right now during pandemic, “did you wash your hands for a full minute?” Wait, I thought you were agreed to stay in your lane?Learn to submit to one another in strengths: where one is strong, trust them to accomplish.Practice validating one another. Instead of arguing about who does the most work.Story toilet paper. Man and wife arguing about who replaced the empty rolls of toilet paper. To prove his wife wrong he saved the empty rolls, numbered them and stockpiled them in a bag. Next time argued: he revealed his 6-month collection. He needed validation.Story of couple next door. Amy and Mike have 3 boys 6, 4 and 2. They have endless energy, diving off tables, running through house, crawling under the fence; Amy is great mom, she cooked good meals, cleans, takes boys on bike rides, sends older one Awana club, runs a home business. One day Mike comes home, house is a grand mess of toys, papers, and dirty dishes. Mike looks at Amy and says the 6 most dreaded words: “What have you done all day?” Let me say to the spouse that’s been at the office all day, saying those 6 words can end the spirit of oneness pretty quickly: as in one week on the couch. Amy hurt starts cleaning up then goes picks up a pencil and paper. Mike goes to bedroom change into his biking gear and strolls out the door. Amy catches up with him just as he hops on his bike, she has a paper in her hand and while he speeds off down the street goes after him waving the list of everything, she had accomplished that day. How To Practice Being One FleshWhat Women Wish Men Knew: Sometimes we need a sympathetic shoulder, we need you to put down the remote, listen. E-word: “Effort” small things count: surprise us with lunch, leave a card or chocolate on our pillow.Chivalry is not dead. Most women enjoy being treated like a princess. Open the doors, be polite. No belching or other questionable noises.What Men Wish Women Knew: It’s not exactly a true generality that “men don’t talk.”Men aren’t all about sex and sports.Don’t start a convo with “Can we talk,” makes him defensive, what’d I do? For Both: Practice submission to God, to each other: where one spouse excels let them oversee – trust their judgment. What’s attractive: He/She believes in me more than I believe in myself.When she says, I don’t follow the logic of this, you say, “If you really believe in it, let’s do it.”When each spouse is operating in their God – given gifts – attractive. Brent: church council lead meetings, city council 35 years superb at planning, problem solving, mediating. He makes it look so easy. He’s also really attractive when he’s chasing 3 grandkids around the house, making boy girl sandwiches with pillows. One with God, One with our Spouse Gen. 2:23 picture of One Flesh: the Lord God took rib from Adam’s body created woman “At last!” the man exclaimed. “This one is bone from my bone, and flesh from my flesh? She will be called ‘woman,’ because she was taken from ‘man.’” The one God, took one rib from Adam to make one woman: bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh. We need each other. We need each other to be one with God. Then, we can we one with each other.Story of the putting the world together: Mom going to salon and having “Me time” she’ll be gone 3 hours. Dad’s spending time with his 8 year old daughter. They go on a bike ride, make sandwiches, read a story. Dad’s out of ideas, sees magazine laying on the table on the back picture of the world. He cuts out the continents, and the oceans, some islands too, “Okay, this is going to take awhile.” Hands the pieces of the puzzle his daughter with glue stick and construction paper. Then he settles down into the recliner to catch up on his football game. 5 minutes later his daughter brings him the masterpiece, completed. The is Dad stars at it in disbelief, how did you put it together so quickly. “Well,” says his daughter, while you were cutting out the pieces I saw the picture of the Mom and Dad on the back, I knew if I could put the Mom and Dad together, I could put the pieces of the world back together.” Marriage is meant to transform us by being partners of forgiveness and learning to love each other. Marriage works when we’re committed to Christ first, then each other: this is being one. ................
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