Bowser’s Fart Toy



Bowser’s Fart Toy

He was tired of it all. Tired of running around trying to capture Princess Peach just for his plan to be spoiled by the plumber brothers. Tired of getting his ass kicked by Mario in just about all of his evil conquests. Tired of the sweet princess never falling in love for him because he was an overgrown, ignorant brute. Tired of getting his offspring involved, who usually never contributed much to his schemes anyway, and when they did, most of their plans failed just as badly as his own. The giant koopa finally reached his breaking point and had decided to give up on kidnapping Peach, give up on defeating Mario, give up on total takeover of the Mushroom Kingdom. He was just gonna sit in his castle and sulk, maybe spend more time with his kids. But mostly sulk. In the process, Bowser started to become lazy (not that he wasn’t already lazy) and was gaining a few pounds. Nothing noticeable, but Bowser did weigh more today than the day before, and he wasn’t going to be losing that weight anytime soon. He still had all his muscle and bulk though, so that was good enough for him. But other than that, the koopa king didn’t have much going for him. Ah well…at least he still had his minions, and his children. Always depend on family, right? Even if some of them didn’t give a damn about you either.

Anyway, Bowser was having another lazy, boring night in his almighty castle, bored with nothing to do. He had no minions to boss around, no children to tell stories to since they were all busy with their own extracurricular activities. It was just him and his gigantic, empty castle surrounded by a lake full of lava and volcanoes. No, it was just him, his gigantic, empty castle, and his chubby, growling belly. Bowser looked down at his stomach as it churned and suddenly realized that he was hungry. Very hungry. The giant turtle got to his feet and growled softly before taking out his cellphone and dialing the phone number for the pizza joint a few miles down the street called Koopa’s Shroom Hut. Tacky title, but it lived up to its name; it was a building full of koopas who made pizzas, usually ones made with some type of shroom. Of course, every now and then the restaurant would hire furries, most of whom just sent the pizzas to their destinations. After dialing the number, Bowser ordered two large pizzas to be delivered to his residence and they told him he’d have to wait 30 minutes or less. Shockingly, a pizza boy got there in a matter of ten minutes and was knocking on his wooden door that was at least ten or fifteen feet tall.

“Who’s there?!” shouted a koopatrol on the other side.

“Uh, Koopa’s Shroom Hut delivery boy. Someone ordered two large pizzas ten minutes ago and they sent me here.”

The koopatrols didn’t say anything for a minute, but the delivery boy heard the tumblers to the giant door unlocking and pretty soon, the two koopatrols opened up each door with a loud creak, exposing the innards of Bowser’s castle to the delivery boy. He walked inside the castle, gradually walking down the immense corridor patted with a long, red carpet, lit chandeliers, rectangular windows that gave a pleasant view of the fiery sea, and dozens of statues of Bowser’s ugly mug. As the employee started to head down the hallway, he heard loud footsteps in the distance and saw Bowser approaching him, eager to get his pizza, laughing evilly like he was still in his prime.

“MWAHAHAHA!!! ALL HAIL THE GREAT KING BOWSER!” he cried.

The delivery boy sighed exasperatedly. “Yeah. Anyway, you order this pizza?”

Bowser stopped laughing evilly and sighed dejectedly before approaching the pizza guy. “Yes. Just give me the damn food and go.”

“Okay, you ordered two large pepperoni pizzas with slimy shrooms, sausage, and moldy mush toppings…ew, are these even edible?”

Bowser got close to the pizza boy and growled gutturally. “Do you have a problem with my dietary habits?”

The pizza boy gulped as he looked up at Bowser, who was two feet taller than his six foot body.

“Uh, no! No, no, I was just speaking out loud…heh. Total’s $24.97.”

Bowser dug into his shell and pulled out a few dollars bills before snatching the two pizza boxes and paying the delivery boy. However, upon throwing the money in his face, Bowser got a closer look at the guy. He was one of those furries he heard about, a wolf as far as he could tell. He had grey and white fur, and his grey hair was in a ponytail, tied up with a purple hair band. He was wearing that tacky orange and yellow pizza uniform with the Koopa’s Shroom Hut logo on it. His name tag read “Ziude” in big letters. Bowser wasn’t sure why, but he found this pizza boy…furry kind of cute. Maybe it was his eyes or that hair band that made him look gay, or the fact he wasn’t the typical pizza boy with acne all over his face and a nerdy voice. He found him sexy too and was beginning to wonder what his ass looked like.

“Thanks for the pizza boy…I’ll be seeing you again soon.” growled Bowser with a smile on his face.

“You will?” asked Ziude.

Bowser chortled. “Oh, definitely! I’ll be seeing you again reeeaaalll soon.”

Ziude scratched his head with confusion as he heard Bowser laughing as he walked away with the boxes of Italian food in his hand. The wolf merely shrugged and headed out of the castle and got into his pizza delivery vehicle after crossing the bridge suspended over the lava lake.

“Holy shit dude, you actually got to deliver pizza to King Bowser himself?”

Ziude sighed and took off his uniform jacket. “You say that like it’s a good thing Doug. I mean, you’re talking about the actually KING BOWSER himself!”

“Not many furries get to meet him in person.”

“Again, that’s a bad thing?”

The brown wolf chuckled. “So what was it like? Meeting Bowser I mean.”

“Uh, he seemed broken. I didn’t hear him rambling about plotting against Mario or kidnapping Princess Peach. I think he’s given up on all that. Good thing too; he needed to let that go. Peach was never gonna date him anyway.”

“Why? Cause he’s an asshole? Cause he’s not her type? Cause he’s an idiotic, ignorant brute that isn’t her same species?”

“No, cause his breath stinks.”

Doug started laughing wildly. “You can’t be serious!”

“Really, I don’t see anyone falling in love with an oversized koopa whose breath reeks worse than all the brimstone on the volcanoes. But that’s just my opinion.”

“Alright, I’ll see you tomorrow Ziude.” said Doug, heading out of the white and grey wolf’s house.

“Bye Doug.”

Doug slammed the door shut while Ziude walked over to it and locked the door, sighing with relief once he kicked off his shoes. Ziude walked over to his couch and got into a comfortable position before shutting his eyes so he could catch a couple of Zs. Unfortunately, he could only close his eyes for a minute or two before his cellphone started to ring. Ziude groaned loudly and grabbed the phone so he could answer it.

“Yeah?”

“I need you to send four extra-large anchovy and garlic pizzas to Bowser’s castle pronto!”

“Christ, no wonder his breath stinks,” muttered Ziude.

“Just get there ASAP Ziude before he fires your ass!”

“Before he fires my ass?”

“What do you mean only I work for you now?!” shouted Ziude as he watched Bowser down his last slice of anchovy and garlic pizza.

Bowser belched. “I bought the restaurant you work at and fired everyone else who worked there! So now, you’re my personal delivery boy who does whatever I say without second guessing!”

“And what makes you think I’d even—”

Bowser flashed $2000 in front of Ziude’s face, making his eyes grow wide.

“BIG MONEY.”

“Of course, if you don’t want the job—”

“No, no, no, it’s perfectly okay big guy. Whatever you need from me, you got it!” said Ziude, taking the money.

Bowser leaned back on his bed with his head resting against the headboard and patted his belly as it gurgled. “That’s what I thought you’d say.”

As Ziude started counting his money, he sniffed the air a few times and grimaced. “What’s that smell?”

The koopa king leaned over to his right and grunted as he passed a strong amount of gas from his smelly rear end, sounding like a trumpet blowing. Bowser sighed afterwards and smiled widely as he watched Ziude back away and groan.

“That’s disgusting! You ever heard of the term ‘Excuse me’ before?”

“Hehehe, just a bit of flatulence pizza boy! Nothing you can’t handle, right?”

Ziude looked down at his wad of cash before glancing back up at Bowser. He leaned over again and let out a fart of a larger proportion before sighing heavily again and giggling like a child who just fooled his friend with the notorious “Pull-My-Finger” joke. He groaned loudly at the koopa’s disgusting behavior, before looking back down at his giant wad of cash. So his new employer was fat, lazy, had a gas problem and bad breath. So what? He got paid a shitload of cash just for driving from a pizza joint to his castle. He already had enough money to pay the bills for his house that month. The grey and white wolf shrugged.

“That’s right. I’ll see you later Bowser!”

A few days, and several pizzas later, Ziude was panting as he walked into Bowser’s domain, carrying eight stacks of pizza in his paws. All eight of them were extra-large pepperoni pizzas with extra meat and chili even. Ziude wasn’t even sure if it was possible to eat this kind of pizza without having a heart attack, but Bowser was Bowser, and he could ask for whatever he wanted. If he had a heart attack, all his minions would surely save him…hopefully. The grey and white wolf staggered several times as he walked down the corridor, trying his best not to drop any of the pizza and create a massive mess in the hallway. Lucky for him, he had very good balance and had been working at the pizza joint for quite some time, so he managed to make it into Bowser’s room with ease. The wolf slammed all the pizzas down on the nightstand next to Bowser’s bed before the chubby koopa king snarled happily and whipped out his tongue, ripping open a box of pizza and stuffing a slice down his throat.

“Mmm…you never cease to live up to my expectations Ziude!” said Bowser, paying the wolf $700.

“Thank you, sir. Just trying to make a living.”

“Hehe, hey Ziude, while you’re down there, pull my finger!”

Ziude rolled his eyes and sighed exasperatedly. “What are you, five?”

“Trust me, you’re gonna do it pizza boy!” said the reptile, stuffing another pizza slice into his slobbering maw.

The wolf sighed again and leaned forward so he could grab Bowser’s claw and yank it hard, inevitably causing the rotund creature to lean forward with a silly grin on his face and pass gas. It didn’t stink too badly, but it was loud and rambunctious, like another trumpet had just tooted. But that was only the first fart. After that, Bowser farted again, this time sounding like an angry bull was stomping around on an endless supply of bubble wrap. It lasted for six seconds and tickled Bowser’s anus so much he giggled. Ziude backed away from Bowser and groaned loudly.

“Ewww! That’s disgusting Bowser and it stinks!”

The koopa king merely chuckled and gobbled down two more slices of the meaty Italian food. Bowser relaxed on his king sized bed with a pizza box in his lap before downing more slices, raising his leg and tail to let out a short, but sharp, fart. Bowser took two whiffs of the air and chuckled.

“Ah, nothing like the good ole smell of flatulence!”

“Hey Bowser, have you been gaining weight?”

“…Now why would you say that?” he snorted.

“I dunno; you just seem fatter since I first met you…and taller.”

Bowser shrugged. “Since you mentioned fat, can you go to the grocery store and pick up a few items? Bags of chips, cans of sodas, sushi, all that stuff?”

“Well, you did just give me seven hundred bucks so…”

Ziude was walking towards Bowser’s castle with several bags of groceries in each paw, panting after walking for quite a few miles. He was carrying all sorts of dietary in the brown bags—potato chips, ding-dongs, pop-tarts, bacon, Pepsi, spicy sushi, popcorn, cotton candy, candy bars—pretty much any and every type of junk food known to man, and furries.

“Man, with all this food Bowser could get diabetes in a matter of seconds just by staring at all the nourishment. Meh, he’s the boss after all, so whatever he wants is whatever he gets.”

The white and grey wolf walked over to the gigantic wooden door and knocked on it before standing in the middle just as the koopatrols started to open the door. As Ziude began to walk inside, he was greeted by Bowser’s spikey shell and his tail and ass. Before he could even blink, Bowser lifted his fat tail and launched a gigantic fart bubble in his direction that lasted for seven seconds. Ziude screamed and dropped the groceries before plugging his nose and bracing himself for the hurricane blowing at him. The massive koopa king sighed heavily before letting out two squeakier, squishy farts that smelled like old beans. Afterwards, Bowser hiked up his left leg like any common male about to break wind and let out a bombastic, but still rather tame smelling fart. It wasn’t as strong as the first one, but it was still disgusting in Ziude’s eyes. He groaned in disgust and pulled his shirt over his nose to cover up the smell. Lucky for him, Bowser’s farts weren’t strong enough to penetrate through his clothing. The almighty king placed his hands on both knees as he squatted down and stuck his ass out some more before backing up to the delivery boy and launching yet another repugnant burst of rancid air into the wolf’s face. The fart lasted for ten or eleven seconds and smelled as bad as the previous fart, not putrid and acid-reminiscing, but it still had the stale odor of beans and rotten eggs, which was something that Ziude didn’t enjoy. If only Bowser’s flatulence smelled like cookies or roses, then he’d be in business. But hey, at least was getting paid for all his work, and he had a high tolerance for foul odors.

“Ah, ya smell that pizza boy?! All that pizza you delivered to me went right to my bowels already!”

Bowser inhaled his own flatulence for a long time before sighing with glee.

“You’re disgusting Boss.” said Ziude, his voice muffled by his shirt.

Bowser jerked himself around and snarled. “You better get used to it or find another job! I mean…if you don’t want my money then—”

“Okay, okay! I’m just not one who likes to be farted on is all.”

Bowser smiled devilishly at the comment. “Awww, that’s too bad, since I’ve been eating fiber with all of my meals!”

Ziude rubbed his forehead and sighed as he pulled his shirt down. “Whatever. Do you want your groceries or not?”

Bowser snatched all the bags off the ground before tossing Ziude another wad of cash and walking away with all the groceries. Of course, to add injury to stinky insult, Bowser leaned over with his right leg cocked and blew another loud one at Ziude again before laughing as he walked away. The wolf groaned again and covered his nose with his shirt again.

Two days later Ziude was back in his boss’s castle, watching Bowser pig out on a dozen pizzas as he sat down on his new bed (yes, new bed; Bowser gained so much weight that he had to purchase another mattress before the other one broke). The king ordered twelve large four-cheese pizzas, all of them seasoned with cheddar, provolone, mozzarella, and Limburger cheese. It only took Bowser ten minutes or so to eat half of them, and now he was slobbering his way through his ninth pizza box, chowing down on his sixth slice from the box. Ziude happened to notice that while Bowser was eating, not only did he look even fatter than the other day when he ordered the chili and meat pizza, but he was ten or eleven feet tall. He was growing with all the food he was eating.

“Damn Boss, you sure are putting on some weight. Have you been working out lately?”

“Why work out when I got everything I want right here? My own home, hundreds of minions who cater to my every whim, all the food I want to eat, millions of millions of dollars, and let’s not forget you!”

“Hey, just giving some friendly advice so you don’t eat yourself to death.”

“No, you’re just giving me advice so the guy paying you up to three thousands dollars per day doesn’t die.”

“That too.”

As Bowser downed another slice of pizza with one giant gulp, he stretched his flabby arm over to the nightstand to the right of his bed and opened a can of Pepsi, which he quickly guzzled down in a matter of twelve seconds. Bowser crumpled the can of pop in his beefy hand before chucking it onto the floor. He then puffed out his cheeks before dropping his jaw to his chest and belching loudly in Ziude’s face and snickering afterwards.

“Got a tangy scent to it, dont’cha think?”

Ziude coughed a few times before waving a paw in front of his muzzle. “Y’know, I think I’m gonna buy you a pack of breath mints the next time I go to the store.”

“There’s absolutely no need for that.”

“But maybe it would help—”

Bowser burped again, this time longer than before and having a sour stench to it. Ziude gagged and coughed before covering his muzzle with his shirt.

“Nevermind.”

“Good boy! While we’re here there’s something else I want to discuss with you,” he started.

Bowser stopped eating to gulp loudly and pat his greasy, fat stomach a few times. After rubbing his hands up and down his bloated belly for a few seconds, Ziude heard a muffled trumpet blowing underneath the reptile’s ass. He inhaled sharply and let out a fierce gas bubble that lasted for five seconds before sighing and chuckling as he waved the smell in the pizza boy’s face. Unlike last time, his farts smelled worse than old beans and rotten eggs. Now, they reeked of vinegar and cabbage, and the odor was a tad bit more acrid. Ziude backed away from the smelly beast and pinched his nose hard to block out the smell.

“Eww, Bowser! That’s nasty!” he complained.

Bowser chuckled. “Like I was saying, you’re getting promoted today!”

“Promoted?”

Ziude’s employer farted just as loudly as before, this time leaning over to let the gas flow with ease. It smelled just as bad and Ziude made sure his nose was plugged hard.

“Yep! From now on, you’re gonna work directly out of my castle doing whatever I ask!”

“Wait a second, I thought I just delivered pizza to you?!”

The koopa king shook his head before tossing around so he was on his belly. The fat turtle suddenly got on all fours and relaxed his bowels, blowing more malodorous flatus into Ziude’s face, making him recoil and cough a couple of times. Fed up with his boss’s terrible stink, he groaned and covered the lower portion of his head with his shirt.

“NOPE! I’ve decided that you’re gonna work as my own personal butler from now on, cooking my food, cleaning my room, getting the remote control when I want it, and anything else I can think of for you to do!”

Bowser grunted and raised his tail, pushing out another rancid, cabbage and vinegar reeking fart that smelled like your ordinary SBD, except it was loud instead of silent. Ziude couldn’t do anything short of groaning again since he already had his nose covered with his uniform. He figured it could be worse though. At least Bowser was sharting all over him.

“But what about my house and my friends?! You’re saying I can’t even go to my own house now?!”

“Yes, to clean yourself up and change clothes; that’s about it. Whenever you’re not taking care of yourself, you’re taking care of me! Got it?!”

“What if I don’t want to—?”

Bowser tossed a giant sack of money with a dollar symbol on the front side of it before Ziude pulled his shirt down and opened the sack. He exclaimed and swore with his paw covering his mouth before looking up at Bowser, then looking back down at the sack of cash, then back up at Bowser.

“HOLY SHIT!! How much money is this?!”

“Ten grand.”

“…Bowser, why do you piss all your money away on trying so desperately to defeat Mario instead of enjoying yourself?”

“HELLO!!! I’M STUPID AND IGNORANT!!!”

“Oh, yeah.”

“Wow Ziude, you’re getting paid thousands of dollars per day just to be Bowser’s butler?! That’s amazing!” said Doug.

“Yeah, he might be a malodorous reptile, but he sure does know how to pay a furry! Kinda sucks though since we won’t be able to hang out as much.”

“Aww.” said Doug, frowning.

Doug leaned forward and took a whiff of Ziude before stepping back a few inches.

“Is it me, or do you stink Ziude?”

“I work at a pizza parlor. I come home reeking of pizza and cheese all the time.”

“No, not that,” said Doug, taking another whiff.

“Did you fart just now?”

“No, why…”

Ziude sniffed his uniform and the fur on both of his arms before groaning and sighing in a frustrated tone.

“Damnit Bowser!” he shouted, running into the shower.

The next several days were an eventful and rather repugnant one for the grey and white wolf. Bowser never ceased bossing the sweating wolf around, asking him to do all sorts of ridiculous things, many of which Ziude did not enjoy even tenuously. For instance, there was the time where Bowser demanded that Ziude scrub the gunk out of his shell, a very disgusting task once one took a look inside the koopa king’s giant armor. Ziude thought he was washing a wolverine and a weasel with how musky the innards of the turtle’s shell were. But after he was done, he was paid with a very large sum of cash. Other than that, he just cooked and cleaned up around the house, fixing things like Shroom Fry and Dyllis Deluxe and Shroom Steak and Frozen Fries, not to mention zesty, spicy hot dogs imported from Glitzville and of course, pizza. That wasn’t what made Ziude’s job a hassle. What made his job a hassle was Bowser himself and his rank, flatulence fat ass, which was quickly growing each day. Bowser had a weird knack for “torturing” his pizza boy like a common bully, pulling all kinds of pranks that usually involved something with farts. For instance, one day when Ziude was taking a nap on a couch in one of Bowser’s chambers, the evil, mischievous king waltzed in and shook his rump in Ziude’s face before sitting down, smothering the wolf’s face with his stinky ass. Ziude quickly woke up and started shouting and punching Bowser in the butt, hoping he’d get off and give him some air. He didn’t get up but he did give the pizza boy some air to breathe. Air that came out of his ass and smelled like digested tacos and cabbage and sounded like a muffled motorboat sputtering, but it was air nonetheless. Another more childish and stinky incident was when Ziude was eating a bowl of soup and Bowser snuck behind him, turning around and raising his tail with his ass pointed at him. Just when Ziude got a whiff of his funky butt, it was already too late. Bowser ripped a wild fart that was so loud and abrupt that Ziude shouted and dropped his spoon, looking down into the bowl to see ripples forming from the strength of the gas. The king walked away laughing with his head held high while the wolf was left tying one of the napkins around his nose to block out the stench.

And those were just the minor ones. Bowser really liked to play dirty, or in Ziude’s case, stinky. For instance, there was the time when Ziude was scrubbing the bricks in the walls clean when Bowser came along to cause more chaos. The big, fat turtle just got through eating three pizzas with some of the hottest chili peppers seasoned on them and his bowels were really acting up from the spicy, greasy nourishment. So, he turned around and walked backwards before slamming his fat rear against the back of Ziude’s head, inevitably pinning him to the wall. Ziude naturally started screaming and jerking around, but to no avail. He dropped all his cleaning supplies as Bowser smeared his ass sweat into Ziude’s fur before grunting with two fists made and letting out a fart that was not only rank, but hot and spicy as well. After Bowser let out the disgusting gas blast, he quickly fanned his rear and plugged his nose as he chuckled.

“WHOO!!!! And I thought my gas stank before! I think I just burned my colon!”

Nevertheless, Bowser continued to fuck with Ziude, and blew another chronic fart in his direction, the gas reeking of digested peppers, burritos and rotten eggs. Later that night, Ziude was called over to Bowser’s room, where he found the behemoth lying on the floor with his shell off and his flabby belly sticking out. He was wearing nothing short of a pair of striped boxers and now that his shell was gone, he smelled even muskier now.

“What do you want Bowser?”

“My belly rubbed! It’s been aching all day!”

“Probably from all the food you’ve been eating?”

“You’re not paid to lecture me! You’re paid to do whatever the fuck I want! Now rub!” he roared.

Ziude shrugged and got to his knees. It was only belly rubbing; nothing major. He’d rather rub his belly than sniff his farts or get all the dandruff from his hair and God forbid if he was ordered to massage his feet or ass cheeks. The wolf started to move his paws up and down Bowser’s smooth but greasy belly and watched as he sighed contently with his eyes closed and his tongue hanging out of his mouth. Ziude noticed his belly button looked a little dirty, but he ignored it, and massaged around it. The wolf got a little close to the lower section of Bowser’s abdomen and noticed he had a bit of a bulge in his underpants, making him cock an eyebrow.

“Don’t worry kid. Can’t blame God for giving me a huge package, can I?”

Damn, that must really hang low in the shower, thought Ziude. He quickly displaced the awkward moment and resumed rubbing his belly before working his way up to his chest. Bowser gave Ziude a belch as his reward, which made the wolf cough and fan the foul air away. But that wasn’t where the real fun began. No, that was only the start of Ziude’s problems.

“Now squeeze it!”

“What?”

“Squeeze my belly pizza boy!”

“But you just said it was aching! Squeezing it will only rile your stomach!”

“I know. That’s the point.” growled Bowser with a malignant smile on his face.

Ziude let out a sharp breath of air before shaking his head and grabbing the massive belly. With no other option, he squeezed the belly…and immediately backed away once the koopa king let out one of his infamous farts that reeked of chili and rotten eggs. Bowser laughed heartily, as always, before commanding his butler to continue with the massage.

“No, no, wait a minute…now you need to press down on it.”

“What?” asked Ziude, his nose plugged.

“Press down on my stomach!”

“But you’re just gonna—”

Bowser snarled at Ziude, putting on a face that foreshadowed he was going to use Ziude as a jockstrap. The grey and white wolf groaned and swore under his breath. He knew in his mind exactly what the smelly reptile was going to do, but if he didn’t do it, Bowser wouldn’t pay him, and he might even get fired. Without further delay, Ziude pressed down on Bowser’s giant belly, and just as he anticipated, the reptile blew one hell of a rank fart in the wolf’s face. It was so wet it sounded like he farted underwater, and the fart actually had enough strength in it to release a yellowish cloud that blew right into Ziude’s orifices. Ziude coughed loudly before gagging and moving away from Bowser. Bowser chuckled like always and fanned the terrible odor away.

“Whoops! Didn’t expect it to be that wet! You alright there pizza boy?”

Ziude retched loudly with his mouth wide open like he was getting ready to hack up a hairball before Bowser heard his stomach churn and noticed Ziude’s face was turning sickly green. The wolf gagged and shut his mouth before he muttered and felt bile reaching his esophagus. Ziude quickly headed for the bathroom while Bowser lied on his back and howled with laughter.

About another day or so passed and Ziude was standing in the middle of the main corridor of Bowser’s castle, coming back to work after taking an hour long shower. Due to all the farts Bowser was dishing out, Ziude was becoming a little stinky, up to the point where random furs on the street would comment about how he passed a disgusting SBD, even though it was actually the smell of his fur. Anyway, the wolf was walking in the middle of the hallway after taking his shower and washing his clothes when he heard loud thudding in the distance. The thuds weren’t thunderous, but loud enough and powerful enough for Ziude to sway a little and have some issues standing straight up.

Bowser walked right up to the wolf and leaned over to his right to rip a mega fart in his servant’s direction, causing the wolf to do what he naturally does best: plug his nose and wave a paw in front of his face.

“Yuck! That stinks Bowser!”

Bowser took two steps closer to Ziude and looked down at him. “So? You have a problem with that?”

“Um…y-y-yeah, I have a problem with it. It seems that the taller and fatter you get, the worse your farts smell.”

Bowser smiled devilishly and leaned over again, this time with his tail raised, and ripped an ever larger fart that smelled twice as bad and was twice as deep. Because of Bowser’s height, his farts didn’t sound like tiny toots or trumpets anymore. They were low, bass sounding farts that someone could mistake coming from a tuba. Ziude hacked twice before coughing violently and yanking his shirt over his muzzle. The koopa king took two steps closer to Ziude and folded his arms as he looked up at him. Bowser was fifteen feet now, while Ziude was only six, so he felt rather tiny at this point.

“So? You have a problem with that?”

Ziude laughed timidly. “Well…it’s just that—”

“Let me make this clear to you pizza boy,” said Bowser, kneeling down so he was at Ziude’s eye level.

“I really do love all the negative comments you give me about how foul my farts smell. I really do; it just makes me feel more dominant to tell you the truth. But how about we start a new approach, eh? From now on, whenever I fart your way, you’re just gonna have to deal with the stench. That means no negative comments, no gagging or retching or vomiting. Nothing! And when I want you to take a whiff of my flatulence, you will do so without any hesitation, you got that?!”

Ziude’s eye twitched a little. It was bad enough dealing with the stinky bastard’s farts in the first place! Now he had to tolerate—strike that, like his farts too? This was becoming a little too much for the little wolf. He was seriously thinking about quitting his job.

“Of course…you’ll be paid very well for your services.”

“How well?”

Bowser turned around, creating two loud thuds as he feet stomped on the floor, before bending over with his ass in Ziude’s face and passing a large accumulation of gas. Ziude thought about covering his nose or shielding himself from the acrid odor, but if he did that, he’d merely make his boss angry and he’d lose his job (although Ziude probably had enough money to pay all his bills for a year now). So, trying to hold back his protests, Ziude stood directly in the line of fire, watching as Bowser’s ass and thighs jiggled and rumbled as his asshole widened and released all the ghastly, filthy air. It only lasted five seconds though, so lucky him. The koopatrol and Hammer Bros. guards weren’t so lucky, as a majority of them caught wind of the stink too, and were coughing their koopa lungs out. Ziude did nothing but kept his eyes open, which were red and watery now. Bowser turned around after passing gas and sniffed the air a few times, laughing with a booming voice and wafting a hand in front of his face.

“WHEW!! HOLY SHIT! Did I do that Ziude?! This whole corridor stinks!”

Ziude smiled cheesily and nodded, tears streaming down his face. Bowser took another whiff.

“Oooohhh…damn, it smells like rotten eggs and baked skunk ass! What do you think it smells like, eh pizza boy?”

“R-Rotten eggs and skunk ass…boss.” said Ziude, gritting his teeth.

“Well, thank you for sharing such a truthful opinion. Here’s your payment,”

Bowser dropped a sack containing at least twelve grand inside. Although, Ziude couldn’t count it. The second Bowser turned his back and began to walk towards his room, the butler stormed out of the hallway into the bathroom to wash the spicy gas out of his eyes…and to throw up in the sink.

He lost count of all the days. It just went by farts now. In the morning there were farts that reeked of cheese and rotten eggs, all terrible cases of Morning Thunder that sounded like a tuba blowing or a balloon deflating inside of a can. In the afternoon were farts that reeked of Mexican food, brimstone and skunk spray. They were the worst at night though, as his farts smelled like acrid acid, smoke from a fire, and there were a few cases that Ziude thought Bowser needed to find a restroom with how loud and wet they were, not to mention some of them even smelled like scat. And all Ziude could do was stand there and tolerate, sometimes even adore the stench. It sucked though, because the smell was transferring over to the wolf, and everytime he went home to take a bath, he’d encounter several koopas and goombas who gave him disgusting and pessimistic comments about how he stank like a wolf who was shoved up someone’s asshole. Even Doug was finding the smell unbecoming, and at this point he couldn’t visit Ziude without wearing a gasmask. And that was when he wasn’t in Bowser’s castle. While he was inside his boss’s domain, he usually had to be around Bowser whenever he had gas or was doing something with his ass. Bowser was 20ft. tall now, and fat enough for someone to call him obese and get away with it. Even Bowser had to admit he was pudgy and full of flabbiness. He denied it to his grave when his minions told him about it, but when Bowser sat down on a couch and stood back up to notice that the same couch was sticking out of his asshole, he chuckled and succumbed to the rumors. He also wound up farting out the couch with one giant burst, which Ziude was forced to smell, of course. Not to mention the time when Bowser had ribs with way too much vinegar for dinner and he called Ziude to give his critical analysis of the odor.

“Hey pizza boy! Tell me, does this stink enough?”

Bowser turned around as he hopped into the air and stuck his butt out, raising his tail as he blasted a rather quiet, but deathly caustic and long fart in the wolf’s face. Ziude took a small whiff before his face turned green and his eyes began to burn. The vinegar gave Bowser’s flatus a rather acidic scent to it, a bad one too.

“Um…like a dead weasel wrapped in a walrus’s stomach that’s been coated with acid.” said Ziude as he gagged.

Bowser chuckled. “That’s what I was hoping for!”

The reptile’s farts were becoming morbidly putrid now; some of Bowser’s minions hated it so much that a few of them resorted to gagging the second they even caught a small whiff of his asshole. Ziude was getting used to the stench now, but still couldn’t tolerate it, and had to gag or cough when Bowser wasn’t looking.

“How do you guys tolerate that fart machine Bowser?” asked Ziude as he was making dinner for his fat employer.

The Hammer Bros. shrugged. “The same reason why you do: either we’re used to his flatulence or B.O. or he’s paying us a shitload of money to do so.”

“Right.”

“Anyway I’m done with this spicy chicken meal. Go give it to Bowser before he comes out here and farts on all of us.”

Ziude scoffed. “The guy’s so lazy and fat now he barely comes out of his room anymore!”

“I don’t give a shit! You may like getting farted on, but I don’t, so go!”

The wolf sighed exasperatedly and headed over to Bowser’s room, where he saw the great behemoth resting on his back. He was 25 feet tall now, and so fat someone could get lost inside Bowser’s stomach if they sank into it. He smelled horrible now; not just his farts, but he smelled like musky dog ass and his feet had the odor of cheese and malt vinegar.

“ZIUDE!! Is that my dinner?!” he roared.

“Yes boss, I have dinner for you.”

“Get the remote!”

“What?”

“The TV remote! It’s resting on my knee!”

Ziude put down the plate of chicken and climbed up to Bowser’s leg so he could snatch the remote off his kneecap. Afterwards he tossed it over to Bowser and he caught it in his fat hand, clicking the TV on.

“Now, feed me!”

“What?”

“FEED ME!”

“What is this now, Little Shop of Horrors?”

“I’m a reptile, not a piranha plant. Get your fuckin’ movie references straight!”

Ziude grumbled and picked up the plate of chicken before climbing onto Bowser’s leg and quickly running up his body, making sure he didn’t slip on his greasy, chubby belly. Once he reached Bowser’s throat, he got on his knees and grabbed a hunk of chicken from the plate, gesturing for the koopa king to open his mouth. Once he did, his hot breath was blown in his face and the wolf quickly recoiled with an arm covering his muzzle.

“Oh, God, I don’t even care if I get yelled at for this, but when was the last time you brushed your teeth Boss?”

Bowser chuckled. “Ziude, I don’t even own a toothbrush.”

“Of course you don’t.”

Ziude still kept his nose covered with his arm as he quickly tossed all the chunks of zesty and spicy chicken into his boss’s smelly maw, watching as he noisily gobbled up all the poultry, without chewing in a few cases. The wolf knew Bowser was going to get impatient sooner or later, so he just dumped all of the plate’s contents into his mouth and watched as he swallowed all of it within a matter of seconds, belching right in Ziude’s face.

“Now, let’s get you into that bath.”

“Wait, what?”

Bowser was sitting in his macro bathtub with his arms folded and an angry glare on his face as he looked down at Ziude, who had a sponge in both of his paws.

“Why the fuck am I taking a bath again?”

“Because I care about my paycheck and I don’t want you to catch something just because you’re too damn lazy to get off your rotund butt and shower once in a while. Now just relax…this will only take a few minutes.”

Ziude hopped into the bathtub and started scrubbing Bowser’s stinky feet, making sure that he got all of the rancid toe-jam out of his toenails so at least they didn’t smell bad enough to kill a snail, but were still naturally foul. Then Ziude latched onto Bowser’s belly and started to smear all of the soapy suds on the greasy, blobby belly before working his way over to the belly button, digging inside of it and pulling out all the dirt, dust and sweat he could find. He even managed to find a can of Sprite that managed to get stuck inside, leaving Ziude with a questionable look on his face. Bowser just chuckled as Ziude continued to work his way up Bowser’s body so he was standing on his shoulder. Ziude tilted Bowser’s head forward a few inches and started briskly scrubbing all the gunk resting on the back of his neck and head, watching as all the filth plummeted into the bath water below.

“Ugh! This is really gross Bowser; how much dandruff is in your hair?”

“Oh, if you think that’s gross, wait until you see this!”

Bowser grunted with two fists made and Ziude looked down at Bowser’s rear end to see dozens of bubbles forming underwater and popping as they reached the surface. But then, much to Ziude’s shock and horror, a green, nasty looking bubble that was just as tall as him came out of the water and started hovering into the air, next to Bowser and Ziude’s faces.

“Hey, I made a fart bubble.” said Bowser dumbly.

Bowser turned to his left so he was looking at Ziude still standing on his shoulder before smiling devilishly and raising a claw next to the bubble.

“OH, SHIT.”

With a small flick of his finger, Bowser popped the balloon and released all the stinky gas and tube blasting that was building up inside of it, the force so strong that Ziude was blown off Bowser’s shoulder and sent flying down into the tub.

“I think we’ll call it a day for now pizza boy.”

“HEY ZIUDE! I THINK I’VE DONE IT!” shouted Bowser.

“Done what?”

Bowser walked down the corridor of his castle before stepping in front of Ziude, panting loudly. He was thirty feet tall now, and Ziude was so small he only reached his knees so he always had to look up as he saw his boss.

“I think I finally found the fart that will mark you as my property forever!”

“Mark me—is that why you keep farting on my so much?!”

Bowser chortled, his voice loud enough to shake the walls. “That’s right shrimp! Now everytime you walk outside and anyone ever catches a whiff of you, they’re gonna know that you belong to me! It’s the ultimate form of scent marking! And I have the perfect fart I need you to sniff for me,” said Bowser as he turned around and raised his tail.

Ziude looked up at Bowser’s giant asshole, watching it slowly expand as it was getting ready to release its gassy compounds into the air. Just when Ziude thought things couldn’t get worse, the ass started to descend onto Ziude like a flying saucer or a spaceship landing on the moon. Before he could do anything else, the ass landed directly on the unfortunate wolf and squashed him. However it didn’t kill him; Bowser’s ass was cushiony and flabby…and very stinky. Bowser waited for his stomach to growl and felt all the pain in his abdomen going for the bowels before he made two fists, grunted, and let his ass rip the intestinal gas. The fart was so strong that the entire castle began to shake, a few windows shattered and the chandeliers were rocking back and forth, not to mention everyone who was standing instantly fell down. It was like an earthquake. It was so loud someone in Fahr Outpost could hear very, very faint trumpeting in the distance, making the Russian bob-ombs raise an eyebrow. The smell of it was something like a catacomb full of rotting corpses, mixed with diarrhea and sulfuric acid, with a few pinches of slime added to the concoction. It damn sure was strong, considering everyone in the castle who wasn’t screaming or hiding in their shells was vomiting. It lasted for fifty seconds; maybe a full minute before Bowser sighed triumphantly and blew a final wet fart at Ziude. He looked all around and saw that his entire castle was hazy and covered with a yellowish, rancid fog. Everyone around him was coughing or their eyes were watering and a few were even gagging and retching. Bowser rose from the wolf’s body and turned around to look at the pizza boy, who was unconscious.

“PHEW!! OH MAN, DO I STINK!!! WHOO! God, I just love the smell of flatulence and baked beans in the evening, don’t you?!”

Ziude’s leg twitched.

“Oh, right, you blacked out. Well, I’ll take all of this as a sign that this was my most rank fart in the history of the Koopa clan! And now, whenever someone smells you pizza boy, they’re gonna know it came from me, and they’re gonna know that you’re mine, and mine only! Hope you enjoy reeking of my ass furry, cause that’s all you’re gonna smell from now on!!”

Bowser walked away from Ziude as he laughed evilly, leaving the wolf on the floor, still unconscious. And yet, despite everything, Ziude still had one good thing to look forward to when he woke up…

He was gonna have half a million dollars in his bank account.

................
................

In order to avoid copyright disputes, this page is only a partial summary.

Google Online Preview   Download