“LURING BLUE-COLLAR MEN TO TINSELTOWN”



LOVE WITHOUT A LEADING MAN

BY

Max Alexander Malloy

WGA:I216962

2700 Randall Ave. #1D

Bronx, New York 10465

347-810-7242

Laex2886@

FAde In:

EXT. LOS ANGELES – A DETERIORATED HOUSE – NIGHT

On a sweltering, moonlit night, a lone dilapidated house sits on a treeless street. Through an opened window, a single, dim light is seen from without.

INT. IN A DIMLY LIT PARLOR, PHOTOS OF SEVEN YOUNG, SMILING ACTORS SIT UPON A TABLE. AN EMPTY ROCKING CHAIR SITS IN FRONT OF THE PHOTOS; NEXT TO THE CHAIR, A BOTTLE OF BOURBON AND AN EMPTY GLASS SITS ON A TABLE.

EDITH CRANE (V.O.)

(Angry raspy voice)

Just look at you deceiving bastards, all of you! And look at me; I’m an aging film queen! Many moons ago, each of you dated me, screwed me and espoused the words “I do” at the altar! But in the end, some of you traded me in for young, frisky actresses, while others dumped me for some effeminate, baby-faced actor! Yeah! Your naïve fans believed you narcissistic creeps were sanctimonious, passionate lovers, wholesomely dedicated to your wives and lovers! Yeah! Your female fans foolishly swooned all over you as if you possessed no human frailties! But look at you cold hearted bastards, even today, you’re as cold and frigid as the icebergs of Antarctica; more confused than any deranged schizophrenic and certainly more brutal than any pugilist champion! Yes, I know, because each of you pummeled me with excruciating blows and later abandoned me! You’ve shrunk and whittled me down to this, a quart of bourbon per day! Look at me you Judases! Now, I have no one!

Off the parlor, a creaky door opens slowly. EDITH CRANE, an elderly, frail, gray-haired lady, uses a walking cane and hobbles sluggishly into the parlor. Edith limps across the room and slide gingerly into the rocking chair. She glares menacingly at the seven photos on the table.

edith

You damn bastards, why are you staring at me? I hate all of you! Get out of my fucking house!

Edith struggles to rise from the rocking chair. She manages to scuffle free and wobble over to the photos. Edith raises her cane and whacks each photo hard, sending shards of glass flying across the floor.

EDITH SMILES WHILE PLACING HER CANE ON THE TABLE AND SLAPS HER HANDS TOGETHER. SHE GRABS HER CANE, LIMPS BACK TO HER CHAIR AND SITS DOWN.

EDITH POURS HERSELF A HEFTY SHOT OF BOURBON, TAKES A LARGE SWIG AND EMITS A THROATY LAUGH. SHE GENTLY UNWRAP ANOTHER CIGAR, CRUMPLES THE CELLOPHANE WRAPPER, LIGHTS AND SMOKE THE STOGIE. EDITH DISPLAYS A BROAD GRIN AS SHE STARES CALMLY OUT THE WINDOW INTO THE DARKNESS.

EDITH (V.O.)

When a broad such as I have dated, screwed and married the most handsome actors in Hollywood, then I am unquestionably qualified to divulge to the world that Hollywood Actors are the coldest men in the nation; they’re wealthy, spoiled, and violent. But even more unfortunately, even today, many actors are imbued with stages of narcissism, sexual impotency, and obscured gender identity! I hate them all! My former lovers ruined my stellar movie career and squashed my dream of ever realizing a blissful marriage. Now, how can I best warn young, upcoming starlets of the reckless and apathetic character of many Hollywood Actors, so they may avoid suffering the same romantic calamities that have acutely wounded me and other actresses? How can I alert them? Can I stop this Hollywood madness? Should I call upon them? Have they ever heard of me? Will they listen to an old witch like me? I wonder. I wonder. I wonder.

EXT. SANDY BEACH – FRONT OF THE MALIBU BUNGALOWS – DAY

ON A SWELTERING SUMMER AFTERNOON, POLICE VEHICLES WITH FLASHING LIGHTS ARE PARKED ON THE SANDY BEACH. CURIOUS ONLOOKERS STAND FAR BACK. A LONG STRIP OF YELLOW TAPE BLOCKS OFF A SMALL AREA – THE CRIME SCENE.

BEHIND THE TAPE, A BODY LIES COVERED WITH A WHITE SHEET. SEVERAL UNIFORMED COPS GUARD THE CRIME SCENE AS TWO DETECTIVES AND CHIEF OF DETECTIVES, MIKE SIMMONS, EXIT THEIR VEHICLE. SIMMONS, A STERN, SLIM, BALDING MAN OF 50; SPEAKS TO THE COPS STANDING NEAR THE BODY.

CHIEF MIKE SIMMONS

Good morning men; what you got?

1st uniform cop

Hello Chief. I haven’t seen you around for a while. We have a dead girl.

chief simmons

Okay, thanks. I only surface when major crimes invade the rich community.

All cops chuckle.

1ST UNIFORM COP

Well, chief, in this exclusive area, everybody is rich.

Chief Simmons bends down; pulls the sheet back as he and two detectives examine the body. Chief Simmons pulls the sheet back over the body and shakes his head.

CHIEF SIMMONS

Who was the first officer on the scene?

2nd uniform cop

I was, sir.

Chief Simmons looks at the responding older cop and displays a surprised smile.

CHIEF SIMMONS

Oh, CARL SMITH, how are you?

(Turns and addresses other cops)

Fellows, Smitty is the best cop on Malibu Island, we came through the police academy together. Smitty, what information do you have for me?

Smittty reads from his memo book.

POLICE OFFICER SMITTY

Chief, I responded to a call regarding a woman down on the beach. I arrived and found the young lady’s body lying as you sees it here. My partner and I guarded the crime scene and questioned several local swimmers.

Chief Simmons acknowledges all of the uniformed cops with a nod.

CHIEF SIMMONS

Good work, men, any witnesses?

Smitty points to a group of young onlookers.

POLICE OFFICER smitty

Yes, sir, one. Over there, the young, Albino in the red shirt and blue shorts standing among the beachgoers.

Chief Simmons and two detectives walk over to the young albino standing near a group of young beachgoers. Chief Simmons greets the young, brash kid.

CHIEF SIMMONS

Hello, son. I’m Chief of Detectives Mike Simmons; let’s take a walk.

Chief Simmons and the other detectives escort the young, hyper kid a short distant from the group and they stop to talk.

CHIEF SIMMONS

Young man, what’s your name?

YOUNG MAN

(Smiling, cheerful)

Oh, it’s Sam, Sam Turner, sir.

chief simmons

Okay, Mr. Turner, do you mind if I call you Sam?

sam

Sir, be my guest.

Chief Simmons pats Sam on his shoulder. Sam offers a broad grin as he looks up at the chief and the two detectives.

CHIEF SIMMONS

Okay, fine, I like the name Sam; it has a certain ring to it, as in Sam Spade, the renowned detective.

Chief Simmons winks at the detectives and they all laugh.

SAM

(Not smiling)

Chief, I never heard of this Sam Spade.

chief simmons

Of course you haven’t. You’re too young. Okay, Sam, let’s get down to business. Sam, what did you see at the time of the incident on the beach?

sam

Well, I guess it was around noon when I finished swimming. As I walked along the beach, I heard a woman screaming. She was yelling for help.

Sam pauses and wipes his brow with a handkerchief.

1ST DETECTIVE

(Impatiently)

Yeah, Sam, go on.

sam

I turned around and I saw this young man punching a lady. She fell to the ground and suddenly she stopped screaming.

2nd detective

What happened next?

sam

The guy ran to a red sports car and sped off toward Malibu City. I was frightened, so I ran and hid myself behind a grove of trees.

chief simmons

Sam, so far you’ve been great. And now, the plot thickens. Now, can you identify that tall guy and the car?

Sam lights a cigarette, takes a quick puff, gazes up at Chief Simmons and brandishes a confident smile.

SAM

Chief, I can do better than that; I know the man who attacked that young woman.

The anxious detectives smile broadly as the chief eases closer to Sam and places his hand on Sam’s shoulder.

CHIEF SIMMONS

What? That’s great! Who is the guy?

sam

It’s the guy who starred in that recently released army-combat movie. Tim Peters.

The detectives’ gratifying eyes meet the chief’s.

CHIEF SIMMONS

Sam, give one of the detectives your address and phone number; we’ll be in touch.

The detectives wander back to the crime scene where they find medical examiner ED POST, 60, gray-haired, glasses, baggy suit, examining the body.

CHIEF SIMMONS

Hello, Ed. What’s your preliminary finding? As you can see there’s not much blood on the sand.

Medical Examiner replies to the chief.

MEDICAL EXAMINER

Chief, this beautiful, young woman died of acute internal injuries, knife punctures. Those punctures triggered massive internal hemorrhaging. I’m certain she drowned in her own blood.

Chief Simmons scratches his head; he looks puzzled.

CHIEF SIMMONS

But Ed, our young witness claimed he saw a young man punching the woman.

Medical Examiner nods his head in agreement. He walks silently about the crime scene, examines the sand near the body and finally replies to the chief.

MEDICAL EXAMINER

Yes, Chief, I understand. But from a certain angle, it might appear a person is being punched when in reality, the person is being stabbed. We experience this all the time. By the way, chief, I found this photo I.D. in the pocket of the deceased.

Medical Examiner gives I.D. to the chief. He looks it over and gives it to one of his detective colleagues.

CHIEF SIMMONS

Ed, I know her; she’s the young actress, RITA SNOW.

(To detectives)

Yeah, fellows, I heard she was dating actor Tim Peters.

(To Ed)

Okay Ed, we got enough data; we’ll see you later.

(To his colleagues)

Boys, let’s pay Mr. Peters a visit.

Chief Simmons leads his detectives to their car. The officers get in; the car drives away.

INT. LOS ANGELES – LAT TV NEWS STUDIO – NIGHT

LAT TV NEWS CORRESPONDENT JANE ROSS, 35, SITS AT HER NEWS DESK BEFORE TV CAMERAS PRESENTING HOLLYWOOD LOVE WOES.

JANE ROSS

Good evening. I’m LAT TV news reporter Jane Ross with your local news. Earlier today on picturesque Malibu Beach, police reported beautiful, blond actress, Rita Snow, 25, was found slain. Police detectives are seeking Rita’s boyfriend, famed actor, Tim Peters for questioning.

EXT. LOS ANGELES – TREE-LINED STREET - LARGE SWANKY HOUSE – NIGHT

INT. KITCHEN – NIGHT

WE SEE OVERTURNED CHAIRS AND TABLES. A PILE OF GRIMY POTS AND PANS SIT CLUTTERED UPON THE WASHING MACHINES. A WATERY SUBSTANCE SPATTERS THE FLOOR.

WE HEAR LOUD ANGRY SHOUTS COMING FROM ANOTHER ROOM.

AMY (O.S.)

Chip, why are you so cruel?

CHIP (O.S.)

It’s because I am sick of you, bitch!

amy (o.s.)

Then, why don’t you leave!

Amy runs into the kitchens closely followed by Chip.

ACTOR CHIP WATTS, 35, CATCHES AMY ABOUT HER ARM, SPINS HER AROUND AND SLAPS HER DOWN TO THE FLOOR. ACTRESS AMY WATTS, 30 LIES ON THE FLOOR BLEEDING PROFUSELY. SHE TRIES TO GET UP AND SLIPS DOWN ON THE SLIPPERY FLOOR.

AMY

Go on, Chip! Get the hell out of here, big man! Go and stay with that young tawdry actress with whom you’ve spent most of your nights, lately!

Amy finally rises slowly from the slippery floor, limps over to the sink, wets a towel and presses it upon her bleeding nose.

CHIP

(Angry)

Yeah! You fat whale, that’s exactly what I’m going to do! Look at you, Amy! You’ve abused your body! I want a young svelte woman! Who needs an embarrassing, obese wife?

Chip snatches his cap from atop the fridge and rushes toward the door. Amy glares at him.

AMY

(Yelling)

Yeah, big lover, I’ll see you in court!

Chip stomps out and slams the door.

NEXT DAY

INT. LOS ANGELES – LAT TV NEWS STUDIO – DAY

TV NEWS CORRESPONDENT BEN ROGERS, 40, SITS AT HIS NEWS DESK BEFORE TV CAMERAS PRESENTING HOLLYWOOD LOVE WOES.

BEN ROGERS

Good morning. I’m LAT news correspondent Ben Rogers with Hollywood Love Woes. Last night, Hollywood was shocked to learn Malibu detectives arrested and charged Hollywood heartthrob actor, Tim Peters, with the brutal stabbing and murder of his actress girlfriend, Rita Snow. We’ve learned from reliable sources that their stormy relationship has been violent for quite sometime. Stay tuned to LAT for further details. This is Ben Rogers reporting.

EXT. HOLLYWOOD AND VINE – CORNER NEWSSTAND – MORNING

A GROUP OF STUNNED PEDESTRIANS LOITER IN FRONT OF A NEWSSTAND GAZING AT VARIOUS NEWSPAPER HEADLINES: ACTRESS SLAIN BY ACTOR; BEAST SLAYS BEAUTY; HOLLYWOOD MOURNS RITA; A GRUESOME MURDER IN TINSELTOWN.

INT. LOS ANGELES – HOTEL DITMAR – NIGHT

IN A 5TH FLOOR HOTEL SUITE, PREGNANT ACTRESS, FLORA MAYS, 28, IS HOME ALONE. SHE CURIOUSLY SEARCHES HER ACTOR HUSBAND, KEITH’S, 32, SUITCASE.

SHE STUMBLES ACROSS A HYPODERMIC NEEDLE WRAPPED IN ALUMINUM FOIL. PERSPIRATION BREAKS OUT ACROSS HER FOREHEAD. FLORA BECOMES MORE CURIOUS AND POKES AROUND SOME MORE. THIS TIME SHE DISCOVERS A GLASSINE ENVELOPE CONTAINING A WHITE POWDER. WHILE HOLDING BOTH THE HYPODERMIC NEEDLE AND THE POWDER IN HER HANDS, FLORA FLOPS DOWN HARD INTO A CHAIR AND BEGINS TO SOB.

FLORA HEARS THE DOOR OPENING; SHE LOOKS UP AND SEES KEITH ENTERING. SEEING FLORA SOBBING, A FRANTIC KEITH DASHES OVER TO FLORA AND KNEELS DOWN NEXT TO HER. FLORA CRINGES.

KEITH

(Excited)

Honey, what’s wrong?

Flora gazes up at Keith with an evil scowl.

FLORA

(Annoyed)

Keith, are you asking me what’s wrong?

Flora rises up from the chair, opens both hands and displays the hypodermic needle and the aluminum foil of white powder.

KEITH TAKES ONE QUICK PEEP, RISES UP NERVOUSLY AND BURIES HIS FACE INTO HIS HANDS; HE WALKS AWAY FROM FLORA AND AVOIDING HER PIERCING STARE.

KEITH

(Pleading)

Honey, don’t get excited. I can explain.

Flora rushes over to Keith and jerks his hands away from his face. She takes the syringe and the aluminum foil of white powder and tosses it upon the floor, nears Keith’s feet.

FLORA

(Trembling, screaming)

Listen Keith, before you attempt to suck me in, let me say this to you! Please do not attempt to insult my intelligent! I’ve baked enough bread to know baking flour and baking soda isn’t packaged in aluminum foil! In addition, I’ve been poked by enough physicians to recognize a hypodermic needle when I see one! Finally, Keith, your annual medical checkup revealed that you’re not diabetic. So, come on, Keith, let’s not give me the bullshit! What’s going on?

Keith flops down to the floor shaking his head from side to side. He finally casts his eyes up at Flora and offers an explanation.

KEITH

Okay, Flora, I’ll admit I have a slight problem. I’ve been shooting-up heroin for a year. But its okay, I can handle it; I got a grip on it. It’s just that as an actor, at the studio, things have gotten so wacky. I just needed a little vigor to catapult me through my laborious hours. Darling, you’re an actress, so you know how demanding our profession can be.

Floral sits down on the floor next to Keith and stares into his eyes.

FLORAL

(Wipes her moist eyes)

Yeah, junkies, while you’re shooting-up are you sharing your needles with other misfits?

keith

Flora, you called me a damn junkie; I’m no damn junkie! I sometimes need a little thrust to get through the day. Hell, I’m not like those inner city darkies in Harlem and Watts. I’m different because I’m under control. Yeah, I control the drugs; the drugs don’t control me.

Flora gets up and points her finger at Keith.

FLORA

Well, Keith, I think you should check yourself into rehab. Because like all users, you’re in denial and I know that’s the indelible trademark of a hardened junkie. Meanwhile, I’m going to retire for the night, but tomorrow morning, I’ll see my doctor for a medical checkup; I’m afraid of all STD’S, especially “AIDS”.

Flora exits to the next room; Keith gets up and lies down on the sofa.

INT. MALIBU SUPERIOR COURT – DAY

IN SUPERIOR COURT PART 1A, JUDGE JOHN MARSHALL, 60, BALD, GLASSES, PRESIDES. THE COURT IS PACKED WITH SPECTATORS. DISTRICT ATTORNEY PAUL WEST STANDS ON THE RIGHT. ON THE LEFT, HANDSOME ACTOR, DEFENDANT TIM PETERS, 25, STANDS CONFIDENTLY NEXT TO HIS ATTORNEY, SAUL SOLOMON, 40, AT HIS ARRAIGNMENT IN THE MURDER OF ACTRESS RITA SNOW.

JUDGE MASHALL

Good morning, D.A. West and Attorney Solomon. I will now entertain the arraignment of defendant; a Mr. Tim Peters charged with murder – first degree. Mr. Peters, how do you plea?

defendant tim peters

(Confident smile)

Your honor, I enter a plea of positively not guilty.

d.a. paul west

(Sternly)

Your Honor, the defendant is charged with murdering his actress girlfriend, Rita Snow. We have an airtight case, your Honor, in that we have a strong witness, irrefutable evidence and the defendant has made a confession. Finally, we ask that no bail be set for this defendant.

judge marshall

Defense Attorney, Saul Solomon, I will hear you.

defense attorney saul solomon

(Affable smile)

Yes, your Honor, and good morning. My client is an internationally well-known Hollywood star.

(Turns and points toward Peters’ mother and sister sitting in the audience)

(The mother and daughter smile)

His mother and sister sit here in the audience. My client has never experienced any conflict with law enforcement officers or any judicial tribunal. So, your Honor, I feel this exemplary citizen should be released on his own recognizance.

Judge Marshall slowly reviews the court papers and finally looks over his glasses and addresses attorney Solomon.

JUDGE MARSHALL

Attorney Solomon, I acquiesce with your recommendation and the defendant shall remain incarcerated until he surrenders his passport; at that time, he will be released on his own recognizance.

We hear loud shrieks and mumbling emanating from the spectators.

SEVERAL WEEKS LATER

INT. DOCTOR’S OFFICE – DAY

FLORAL NERVOUSLY PERUSES A MAGAZINE IN THE WAITING ROOM OF HER DOCTOR’S OFFICE. DR. HERBERT REID, A TALL, BESPECTACLED MAN OF 50, OPENS THE DOOR OF HIS OFFICE AND BECKONS FOR FLORA TO ENTER. SHE PLACES THE MAGAZINE ON A TABLE, RISES NERVOUSLY AND ENTERS THE DOCTOR’S OFFICE AND SITS AT HIS DESK.

DOCTOR HERBERT REID

Hello Flora. Try to be calm. I’m going to be direct and honest with you. I called you into my office because I found the results of your AIDS test to be disturbing.

Flora immediately begins to weep; she pulls out a tissue and nervously wipes her eyes.

FLORA

(Sobbing, noisily)

Okay, Doctor Reid, give me the truth! I fear I’ve contracted a sexual disease from my husband. So, lay it on me, Doc!

Dr. Reid rises, walk slowly over to Flora and puts his hand on her shoulder.

DR. REID

Yes, Flora, the test confirms that you do have contracted the AIDS’ virus. Now, I want you to go immediately to Saint Raymond Hospital and see Dr. Richard Moses; he will take care of you; in fact, Flora, he’s the leading AIDS physician in the country.

Flora gets up and walks dejectedly to the door, escorted by Dr. Reid. He embraces her; she turns and exits the office.

INT. A LARGE MALIBU MANSION – PARLOR - DAY

TIM PETERS SITS ON A SOFA IN THE PARLOR CHATTING WITH HIS MOTHER, ROSA, 55, AND SISTER, ELLEN, 35.

TIM

(Grinning)

Mom and Sis, thanks for your moral support in court. I won’t let you down.

rosa

(Takes Tim’s hand)

Son, I am just elated Judge Marshall released you on your own recognizance. So, I want you to keep your chin up; be a man and fight your case with vigor.

ellen

(Takes his other hand)

My dear brother, stay strong, fight a good fight and I have all the resources for your legal defense.

Tears gather in Tim’s eyes. He stands up, bends over and kisses his mother and sister on their cheeks. They stand up; both embrace Tim mightily.

EXT. MALIBU BEACH – DAY

ACTRESS MOLLY SHANE, 25, EXUBERANT BLOND, SLIGHTLY OVERWEIGHT AND HER CURVY, BLOND FRIEND, ACTRESS GLORIA GATES, 25, BOTH WEARING DARK GLASSES, LOUNGE IN THEIR BIKINIS ON THE BEACH BASKING IN THE SCORCHING SUN.

MOLLY DECIDES TO LIE DOWN AND DOZE FOR A MOMENT.

GLORIA SITS AND GAZES INTO THE WATER. MOMENTS LATER, SHE GAZES AT A PLAYFUL COUPLE FROLICKING AT THE EDGE OF THE WATER. SHE THINKS SHE RECOGNIZES THE MAN AS BILL SHANE, MOLLY’S ACTOR HUSBAND; GLORIA REMOVES HER DARK GLASSES, SQUINT HER EYES AND TAKES A CLOSER LOOK. SHE NUDGES MOLLY.

GLORIA

(Excited)

Molly, get up! Get up!

Molly rises up in a panic. Gloria is still gazing at the playful couple; she points at them.

MOLLY

What’s the matter, Gloria?

Gloria leaps up and points at the couple in the water.

GLORIA

(Excited)

Look over there! Isn’t that your husband, Bill, kicking up his heels with that slut?

Molly leaps to her feet in a panic, removes her dark glasses, squinting her eyes as she gazes at the playful couple.

MOLLY

(Pissed off)

Yeah, Gloria, you’re damn right! That’s my husband with that hussy! Come on, Gloria we caught them red-handed. Let’s see what those bastards have to say!

Molly and Gloria toss their sunglasses to the sand and trot over to her husband, Bill and his companion. Bill, 30, sees Molly approaching and frightfully pushes his companion, Rachel, 20, away.

BILL SHANE

(To his female companion)

Rachel, you better leave, my wife is approaching! Run away, fast!

Rachel trots away as Molly places her hand on her hips and questions Bill. Gloria looks on.

MOLLY

So Bill, you thought I was shooting a movie today, so you decided to go splashing with your mistress! And moreover, Bill, you told me you were filming today in Sacramento!

A deafening hush engulfs the moment; Bill stands speechless as Gloria walks away to give the warring couple privacy.

MOLLY

(Furious)

Goddamn it, Bill, I’m waiting for an explanation!

Bill nervously rubs his hands together and finally blurts out.

BILL

(Rude)

Okay, you me, so what? Yes, that’s my sweetheart, Rachel! I love her very much! In fact, after I divorce your nagging ass, I plan to marry Rachel!

Molly hurls herself closer to Bill and slaps his face. He stares at her in disbelief.

BILL

What’s wrong with you, bitch! I’m six feet – three and you have the nerve to slap me, a towering man? What’s wrong with all of you dizzy actresses? You seem to always have the audacity to attack your husbands or male companions, but yet you fear and flee mercifully from street thugs! I wonder why? Well, bitch, I am going to give you what a street thug would you!

Bill unleashes a right cross to Molly’s face, which sends her crashing face-first into the sand, bleeding profusely. As Molly rolls over on her back screaming loudly, Gloria screams noisily and dashes over to assist Molly. Bill walks away casually without looking back.

INT. LAW OFFICE – DAY

Attorney Saul Solomon sits at his desk smoking a large cigar; his feet are propped upon his desk as he talks on the phone with his client, Tim Peters.

ATTORNEY SOLOMON

Tim, just keep your nose clean. At your impending trial, I believe I have the judicial savvy to influence Judge Marshall and sway the Jury.

INT. RESTAURANT – DAY

TIM SITS AT A TABLE SPEAKING ON HIS CELL PHONE TO ATTORNEY SOLOMON; A SMILING BLOND SITS NEXT TO HIM.

TIM

I understand, Mr. Solomon, I want to clear my name and reputation; you know my movie career is at risk. Have a good day, Mr. Solomon.

Tim closes his cell phone, gives the blonde a confidant grin; he leans over and kisses her lips.

EXT. MALIBU BEACH – FRONT OF A BUNGALOW – DAY

A YOUNG ALBINO WEARING A RED SHIRT AND BLUE SHORTS KNEEL ALONE ON THE GROUND REPAIRING HIS SURFBOARD. TWO BUNGALOWS AWAY, TWO RUGGED, NERVOUS MEN, 40ISH, SIT IN THE FRONT SEAT OF A CAR, WATCHING THE ALBINO.

DRIVER

(Speaks to passenger)

That’s him; that’s the albino.

The passenger scratches his head nervously and looks curiously at the driver.

PASSENGER

Are you sure that’s the right guy?

The driver glares at the passenger.

DRIVER

(Shouts)

What? Sure that’s him! How many damn albinos have you seen around Malibu Beach? Now go on and whack the kid!

The passenger slowly exits the car, pulls a gun from his belt, and creeps up behind the albino.

PASSENGER

Hey, kid!

The young albino is startled; he turns around quickly and rises up, facing the gunman.

YOUNG ALBINO

(Frightened and nervous)

Yes, mister, what did do?

Driver points gun at the albino’s chest.

PASSENGER

Nothing, kid, but it’s what you’re about to do. You’re slated to testify as a witness in Tim Peter’s murder trial, but I can’t let you do that. I’m sorry kid, but it’s over for you!

The albino turns and attempts to flee. The passenger fires two shots, striking the albino in the back. He falls prone onto the sand. The passenger races back and leaps into the car, which speeds away from the scene.

EXT. POLICE VEHICLE – LATE AFTERNOON

POLICE OFFICERS SMITTY AND REID ARE ON PATROL IN THEIR VEHICLE ALONG MALIBU BEACH. A POLICE DISPATCHER GIVES AN ASSIGNMENT OVER THE POLICE RADIO. THE OFFICERS ARE LAUGHING ALOUD WHEN THEY’RE INTERRUPTED BY THE RADIO DISPATCHER.

POLICE DISPATCHER

UNITS RESPOND TO THE MALIBU BEACH BUNGALOWS. THERE’S A MAN LYING DOWN ON THE BEACH. THE CALLER SAID HE LOOKED LIKE HE MIGHT BE INJURED OR DEAD.

A police vehicle with flashing lights pulls up in front of the Bungalows. Police officers Smitty and Reid exit their vehicle and dash over to a body lying face down on the sand. Blood seeps from his shirt.

POLICE OFFICER REID

Looks like that this poor young lad took two slugs in the back.

police officer smitty

Yeah, let me check his pulse.

Police Officer Smitty kneels down and places two fingers on the boy’s carotid artery.

POLICE OFFICE SMITTY

Nothing here, I think he’s gone!

An ambulance with flashing lights pulls up; two female paramedics leap out and hurry to the crime scene. One paramedic checks the body’s pulse with a stethoscope. She looks up sadly at the officers and shakes her head.

PARAMEDIC

He’s gone!

Police Officer Smitty leans over and takes a closer view of the body. He’s shocked and speaks to his partner.

POLICE OFFICER SMITTY

Wait a minute! Hey Reid, I know this kid! This is Sam, the young albino! He is a witness in the actress Rita Snow murder case!

police officer reid

Smitty, are you sure?

police officer smitty

Damn right, he’s wearing the same red shirt and blue shorts. I better go and notify Chief Simmons; he’s handling the Rita Snow murder investigation.

Police Officer Smitty goes to the car to notify Chief Simmons; Police Officer Reid covers the body and erects yellow tape around the crime scene.

A POLICE VEHICLE PULLS UP TO THE CRIME SCENE. CHIEF SIMMONS EXITS SMOKING A CIGAR; HE WALKS OVER TO THE CRIME SCENE AND GREETS THE OFFICERS.

CHIEF SIMMONS

Hello, guys. What do we have here?

police officer reid

Chief, it seems this young albino lad took two slugs in the back.

chief simmons

Are there any witnesses?

police officer smitty

No, but take a close at this body.

Chief Simmons leans over and inspects the body. The jittery Chief jumps back from the body.

CHIEF SIMMONS

Damn it! This is my witness in the Tim Peters’ murder case; this is the albino kid, Sam Turner!

Police Officers Smitty and Reid shake their heads in disgust.

POLICE OFFICER REID

Chief, are you sure?

chief simmons

(Confident)

You bet I’m sure. Look, Smitty, he’s wearing the same red shirt and blue shorts. Besides, how many albinos have you seen frolicking on Malibu beach? This will adversely affect Tim Peters’ trial.

INT. LOS ANGELES – BACKLOT RESTAURANT – NIGHT

SEVERAL ACTRESSES DINE AT A TABLE. WE HEAR THE SOUND OF CLASHING DISHES AS WAITERS CLEAR THE DISHES. ACTRESS GRACE GRAHAM, A STERN WOMAN, 35, WEARS A MAN’S TUXEDO; HER HAIR IS CROPPED IN A SHORT, MANNISH STYLE. SHE GETS UP, STANDS AT THE HEAD OF THE TABLE, AND ADDRESSES THE GROUP.

GRACE GRAHAM

(Solemn)

My sister actresses, it has been a long, delightful evening, so let me add a few, brief thoughtful words. You’re all Hollywood’s most admired actresses and I can’t help espousing my most nagging question and that is: why have we, as an industry, have failed to honor Edith Crane, our most eminent sister of the cinema? Therefore, if I’m in order, I strongly propose we soon honor Edith Crane. We must do it soon because as we all know, Edith lives alone and she’s in frail health.

All of the actresses nod their heads and raise their hands to show support.

GRACE

(Stern expression)

Thanks, ladies, we shall honor Edith, soon, very soon. I’ll be in touch.

INT. MALIBU SUPERIOR COURT – DAY

JUDGE MARSHALL SITS ON THE BENCH. THE COURT IS PACKED. DEFENDANT TIM PETERS STANDS NEXT TO HIS ATTORNEY, SAUL SOLOMON. D.A. WEST STANDS TO THEIR RIGHT. JUDGE MARSHALL BANGS HIS GAVEL.

JUDGE MARSHALL

D. A. West the State of California versus defendant, Tim peters, charged with murder in the second degree are the people ready?

D.A. West becomes nervous. He pulls nervously at his jacket lapel and looks around the courtroom.

D.A. WEST

Your honor, the people are not ready and I’m sorry to announce our only witness to the murder of actress Rita Snow has himself been slain.

D.A. West glares at Chief Simmons sitting in the front row. Chief Simmons confirms the news with a nod of his head. A loud muttering emanates from the shocked spectators.

D.A. WEST

Your honor, the people have no other dependable evidence to bolster and substantiate the murder charge against this defendant.

judge marshall

(Perturbed)

Well, then, Mr. D.A., the court has no alternative but to…

Suddenly, the Judge is interrupted as he hears a loud commotion in the rear of the courtroom. The spectators look to the rear. An albino lad wearing a red shirt and blue shorts is blocked by a court officer. The albino yells to the judge.

YOUNG ALBINO

Your honor, I’m sorry that I’m late, but I’ve just arrived from Chicago!

The lad attempts to walk toward the Judge; the court officer throws up his hands and bars the lad from proceeding.

JUDGE MARSHALL

(Rising from his seat)

Officers, what’s going on here? Who’s this young man?

The anxious young man strains peeps around the officers and speaks to the judge.

YOUNG ALBINO

Your honor, I’m Sam Turner, the witness in this murder case!

A loud murmur is heard from the spectators in the courtroom. The confused Judge bangs the gavel three times.

JUDGE MARSHALL

What? Son, I was told you had been murdered! Are you really Sam Turner?

The audience breaks out into a big laugh. Judge Marshall bangs the gavel several times. The Judge looks lost and confused; he looks around as if he’s seeking another judge for assistance. Judge Marshals pulls a handkerchief out of his pocket and mops his brow.

JUDGE MARSHALL

Now, Chief Simmons, if this witness is alive, who’s the young man who was slain on Malibu Beach yesterday?

A befuddled Chief Simmons rushes from his seat and stands next to D.A. West and shrugs his shoulders.

JUDGE MARSHALL, D.A. WEST, ATTORNEY SOLOMON AND CHIEF SIMMONS ALL STAND WITH THEIR MOUTHS AGAPE. THE SPELLBOUND SPECTATORS ARE ALSO STANDING. JUDGE MARSHALL SIGHS IMPATIENTLY AND BANGS THE GAVEL SEVERAL TIMES, HARD.

JUDGE MARSHALL

Order! Order! Order! Spectators, be seated! Spectators, be seated! Officers, bring that young man into my chambers! I’m going to get to the bottom of this quandary! I also want to see D.A. West, Attorney Solomon, and Chief of Detectives Simmons!

All of the subjects file into Judge Marshall’s chamber.

INT. JUDGE MARSHALL’S CHAMBERS – DAY

JUDGE MARSHALL SITS BEHIND HIS LARGE MAHOGANY DESK. D.A. WEST, ATTORNEY SOLOMON, CHIEF SIMMONS AND THE YOUNG ALBINO SIT IN FRONT OF THE JUDGE. JUDGE MARSHALL ADDRESSES CHIEF SIMMONS.

JUDGE MARSHALL

Now, Chief Simmons, regarding the young man’s body found on Malibu Beach yesterday, was he positively identified?

Chief Simmons looks sheepishly and stares at the floor.

CHIEF SIMMONS

Well, your honor, we tried unsuccessfully to locate members of the young man’s family. However, since the albino’s body was attired in similar clothing worn by my witness, Sam Turner, I took the liberty of identifying the remains as my homicide witness, Sam Turner.

The young albino leaps up and weeps loudly; he shakes violently. All eyes are cast upon him. A Court Officer walks over and pats Sam’s shoulder.

YOUNG ALBINO

(Hysterically)

What! Your honor! Your honor! I just arrived from Chicago! Oh, my God! Your honor! I believe the remains could be that of my identical twin brother, Seth, Seth Turner! Seth lives on Malibu Beach with me and we’ve always dressed alike. Please, your honor, I must see the body!

Sam falls back into his chair, staring at the Judge.

JUDGE MARSHALL

What! You’re a twin? Oh, my God!

Everyone in the room looks at each other with flabbergasted expressions. Chief Simmons gets up walks over to the albino, places his arms around his shoulder and comforts him.

CHIEF SIMMONS

(Regretful)

Young man I am sorry, terribly sorry!

judge mareshall

Well, Chief Simmons, apparently your erroneous identification of the deceased and a failure to utilize the standard fingerprinting procedure, clearly represent a gross miscarriage of justice and perhaps this young man’s life remains in imminent danger.

All eyes focus on Chief Simmons; he looks up at the Judge as his eyes swell with tears.

JUDGE MASHALL

Chief Simmons, I strongly suggest you hurry over to the morgue and acquire an authentic identification of that body and take this young man with you. We really don’t know if he’s Sam Turner. The rest of you may return to the courtroom. I must try and explain this careless quandary to the spectators.

Chief Simmons escorts the young albino out of a rear door; the other litigants return to the courtroom.

AFTER PERUSING COURT PAPERS, JUDGE MARSHALL LOOKS UP AND NODS TO THE COURT OFFICER, WHO LEADS THE JUDGE INTO THE COURTROOM.

INT. COURTROOM – DAY

JUDGE MARSHALL ADDRESSES THE COURT.

JUDGE MARSHALL

To the spectators here assembled I must announce that due to the tardiness of the witness and the gravity of other extenuating circumstances, which I care not to mention at this time, this case is adjourned until further notice.

EXT. LOS ANGELES – STREET CORNER NEWSSTAND – DAY

PEDESTRIANS STAND IN FRONT OF NEWSSTAND GAZING AT SHOCKING NEWSPAPER HEADLINES: DEAD MAN IS ALIVE; MURDER WITNESS SHOCKS THE COURT; CULPRIT KILLS THE WRONG MAN; WITNESS’ LIFE IS STILL IN DANGER.

EXT. LOS ANGELES COUNTY MORGUE – DAY

CHIEF SIMMONS AND THE YOUNG ALBINO EXCHANGE GRIM LOOKS AS THEY EXIT THE MORGUE. THE ALBINO WIPES HIS EYES AS THEY BOTH ENTER THE BACKSEAT OF A POLICE VEHICLE. TWO DETECTIVES SIT IN THE FRONT.

CHIEF SIMMONS

Sam, you’ve now positively identified the remains as that of your brother Seth. But it’s imperative that I place you in protective custody. It’s best for your safety.

Sam turns and gives the chief a disapproving stare and waves his hands wildly.

SAM

What, protective custody? I have a surfing championship coming up soon and I must compete. After all, I am the top surfer on my team. Chief, my teammates are depending on me.

chief simmons

Sam, let me be honest with you. Your brother’s killer or killers thought he was you. In other words, kid, you’re still the target. As the only witness in Tim Peter’s murder trial, your life will remain in grave danger until we apprehend your brother’s killer or killers. But don’t worry my experienced detectives will protect you.

Both detectives turn around and nod to Sam as the car drives away.

EXT. LOS ANGELES SUPERIOT COURT – DAY

ACTOR CHIP WATTS EXITS COURT SPORTING A GLOOMY EXPRESSION. EX-WIFE, AMY, FOLLOWS CLOSELY BEHIND; SHE SPORTS A WIDE-TOOTHY SMILE AND TROTS OVER TO A GROUP OF JOSTLING NEWS JOURNALISTS ALL PREPARED WITH PADS AND PENCILS.

FIRST MALE JOURNALIST

Amy Watts, now that you’re divorce, I assume we can now refer to you as ‘Ms, am I correct?

Amy’s expression turns into a sour scowl; she points to her ex-husband, Chip, who’s getting into a car.

AMY

(Hostile)

No, you’re incorrect! Henceforth, you may refer to me simply as ‘Amy Ross’! And you see that worthless bastard entering that car? Well, he won’t have me to kick around any more!

Amy and the journalists gaze at the car as Chip drives away.

FIRST FEMALE JOURNALIST

(Anxiously)

Amy Ross, now that you’re divorced, what are your plans now, I mean, regarding men?

Amy grins.

AMY

Well, now that I’m free, I’ll be seeking a blue-collar lover.

A burly journalist, nearly out of breath, pushes to the front and poses a question.

SECOND MALE JOURNALIST (OBESE)

But, Amy, you seem to suggest that you’re forever writing-off all Hollywood actors as future lovers.

Amy rolls her eyes disgustedly at the burly journalist for a long spell; she points her finger at the burly journalist and replies.

AMY

(Smirking)

Sir, you’re right, in fact, even you, as bloated as you are I would date you before dating another actor.

The burly journalist becomes incensed and inquires of Amy.

SECOND MALE JOURNALIST (OBESE)

Amy, are you ridiculing me because of my hefty body?

All of the journalists break into a hearty laughter; even Amy breaks into a grin.

AMY

Oh, no, sir, I didn’t intend for my remarks to be offensive; I simply meant to imply that most Hollywood actors possess the following traits which are not conducive to a decent date or a wholesome marriage: abusiveness, extreme jealousy, sexual impotency, homosexuality and narcissism.

Suddenly thunder is heard as a heavy rain drenches the crowd as a female journalist asks a rapid question.

SECOND FEMALE JOURNALIST

But Amy, who would you consider an ideal lover in your future?

Amy holds her jacket up over her head and runs toward a waiting car as the journalists scatter.

AMY

(Yelling)

Let’s say for starters, just send me a handsome, blue-collar lover. Goodbye.

INT. OUR SAVIOR CATHOLIC CHURCH – DAY

IN FRONT OF A PACKED CHURCH, A PRIEST STANDS BEFORE TWO OPENED CASKETS AND CONCLUDES THE FUNERAL OF ACTOR KEITH MAYS AND HIS ACTRESS WIFE, FLORA. ON THE FRONT ROW, THE MAYS’ TWO WEEPING DAUGHTERS SIT WITH THEIR GRIEVING GRANDPARENTS. AN ARRAY OF HOLLYWOOD FRIENDS FILES PAST THE CASKETS PAYING THEIR LAST RESPECT.

THE PRIEST CONCLUDES THE SERVICE.

PRIEST

Yes, we know Keith and Flora succumbed to Aids. But let us all use their painful demise to alert and teach others there’s another way to exist without the burden of sin. We can start by teaching the Mays’ children how to keep God’s commandment. Yes by keeping God’s commandments they can attain the maturity of three scores plus ten. Now may God bless the souls of the Mays family and may he bless you all. Amen.

Funeral directors close the caskets; the priest walks in front of the casket, followed by family members.

EXT. TWO HEARSES PARKED OUTSIDE OF CHURCH - DAY

Pallbearers and funeral directors place both caskets into two hearses. Family members enter black limos. The two hearses and limos drive away; we hear church bells tolling.

EXT. LOS ANGELES SUPERIOR COURT – MORNING

ACTOR BILL SHANE EXITS THE COURT SMILING GLEEFULLY. GLOOMY EX-WIFE, MOLLY, TRAILS CLOSELY BEHIND. BILL WALKS AWAY FROM THE COURT, IGNORING THE HORDE OF PESKY JOURNALISTS. MOLLY WALKS SLOWLY UP TO A BANK OF MICROPHONES AND SPEAKS TO THE NOISY JOURNALISTS.

MOLLY

I have a brief statement and then I must leave. Yes, I boldly entered into the typical, glamorous Hollywood marriage. And yes, I thought, as an alluring superstar, I possessed all the personal magnetism needed to tame any handsome actor and keep him loyal to his sacred vowels.

MOLLY (cont’d)

Boy, was I ever naïve and dead wrong. This was my second failed marriage and I can honestly promise my next nuptial ceremony will be void of any so-called Hollywood stud. And finally, people of the media, henceforth, you may address me as Ms. Molly Bellamy. Good day.

Molly jumps into a waiting limo and drives away. The noisy pack of paparazzi armed with jangling cameras, chase behind the limo screaming Molly’s name.

EXT. BURBANK CALIFORNIA – BEEHIVE MOTEL – NIGHT

A POLICE VEHICLE PULLS UP BEHIND THE MOTEL. DETECTIVES JOHN MOSS, 30, AND RANDY PHIPPS, 30, EXIT. SAM TURNER, IN PROTECTIVE CUSTODY, EXITS FROM THE REAR. BOTH DETECTIVES ESCORT SAM INTO THE MOTEL - CABIN 315.

INT. CABIN 315 – NIGHT

DETECTIVES EXPLAIN SAFEGUARD PROCEDURES TO SAM, WHO SITS ON THE BED STARING GLOOMILY AT THE FLOOR. DETECTIVE MOSS LIGHTS UP A CIGARETTE, WALKS OVER TO SAM AND PLACES HIS HAND ON HIS SHOULDER.

DET. MOSS

Okay, Sam, you’re safe here. There’s a refrigerator full of food and a microwave. The TV gets all channels.

A depressed Sam nods his head and continues staring at the floor. Detective Phipps opens the refrigerator, grabs a soda and gulps it down.

DET. PHIPPS

Sam, there’s only one way in and out of here and we’ll be outside. If you need anything, just crack the door and yell.

Both detectives exit.

INT. MALIBU POLICE DEPARTMENT – NIGHT

CHIEF SIMMONS SITS AT HIS DESK SMOKING A CIGAR; HIS FEET ARE PROPPED UPON THE DESK. HE USES THE POLICE RADIO TO CALL THE DETECTIVES GUARDING WITNESS, SAM TURNER.

CHIEF SIMMONS

This is Chief of Detectives calling unit David.

EXT. BURBANK CALIFORNIA – FRONT OF BEEHIVE MOTEL – NIGHT

INT. DETECTIVE PHIPPS SITTING IN THE POLICE VEHICLE WITH HIS PARTNER PICKS UP THE POLICE RADIO AND RESPONDS.

DET. PHIPPS

Unit David here, go ahead Chief.

INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT –NIGHT

CHIEF SIMMONS SPEAKS.

CHIEF SIMMONS

Hey, Detective Phipps, how’s our prime witness fairing?

INT. POLICE VEHICLE - NIGHT

DETECTIVE PHIPPS RESPONDS.

DET. PHIPPS

Chief, he’s doing fine; we checked on him a few minutes ago.

INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - NIGHT

THE CHIEF TAKES A DEEP PUFF ON HIS CIGAR AND LAUGHS ALOUD.

CHIEF SIMMONS

Okay boys, you’re both doing a marvelous job. Keep up the good work. We can’t use his corpse in court: take care – ten four.

INT. POLICE VEHICLE – NIGHT

DETECTIVE PHIPPS LAUGHS ALOUD AND SPEAKS TO HIS PARTNER, DETECTIVE MOSS.

DET. PHIPPS

The old man is worried about his prime and only witness.

det. moss

(Confident smile)

Oh yeah? Why should he worry? He knows you and I are the best in the squad and he knows we’ve never lost a witness or a prisoner.

Suddenly we hear booming thunder; we see lighting flashing as a heavy downpour drenches the motel area.

DET. MOSS

Phipps, I can’t see turn on the wipes.

Phipps turns on the wipers. The detectives can only see nearby parked cars in the lot. After a short stint the storm ceases.

DET. PHIPPS

(Taps his partner’s shoulder)

Hey buddy, let’s check on Mr. Turner.

Both detectives exit the vehicle and stretch themselves. Phipps twists the doorknob and enters the motel room, closely followed by detective Moss.

INT. MOTEL – CABIN 315 – NIGHT

THE ROOM IS DARK; THE TV IS OFF. A SUDDEN FRIGHT GOVERNS BOTH DETECTIVES’ FACES. DETECTIVE PHIPPS QUICKLY CUTS ON THE LIGHTS. DETECTIVE PHIPPS GLANCES IN THE CORNER. HE SEES SAM DANGLING FROM A CEILING PIPE; A BELT IS KNOTTED AROUND HIS NECK.

DET. PHIPPS

(Panicky)

Oh, my God! Come on, Moss, the poor guy has hanged himself!

Detective Phipps dashes over to Sam followed by Detective Moss. Detective Moss reaches into his pocket, pulls out a knife, reaches up and cuts the belt. Phipps hastily grabs Sam’s limp body and gently lowers it onto the floor. Moss feverishly attempts CPR as Phipps checks Sam’s pulse.

DET. MOSS

(Frantic)

Phipps, call for help!

Moss and Phipps exchange glances. Phipps grabs the police radio and calls central.

DET. PHIPPS

(Frantic)

Central, this is unit David at the Beehive Motel! Get an ambulance over here right away, cabin 315! We have a man down; he doesn’t seem to have a pulse! Also, notify Chief Simmons!

EXT. FRONT OF BEEHIVE MOTEL – NIGHT

TWO AMBULANCES AND SEVERAL POLICE VEHICLES WITH FLASHING LIGHTS PULL UP IN FRONT OF CABIN 315. TWO FEMALE PARAMEDICS CARRYING MEDICAL GEAR AND SEVERAL POLICE OFFICERS RUSH INTO THE ROOM, CLOSELY FOLLOWED BY AN ANGRY CHIEF SIMMONS.

INT. CABIN 315 – NIGHT

THE PARAMEDICS BEND OVER AND ATTEND TO SAM. CHIEF SIMMONS STANDS IN A CORNER STARING DISGUSTEDLY AT DETECTIVES PHIPPS AND MOSS; HE FINALLY BECKONS FOR THEM TO JOIN HIM OUTSIDE.

EXT. PARKING LOT – NIGHT

STANDING IN THE PARKING LOT, CHIEF SIMMONS LIGHTS A CIGAR, TURNS HIS BACK ON THE DETECTIVES MOMENTARILY THEN TURNS BACK AROUND FILLED WITH EVEN MORE ANGER. THE DETECTIVES SHAKE NERVOUSLY WHILE AVOIDING THE CHIEF’S MENACING EYES.

CHIEF SIMMONS

Damn it, I don’t give a damn which one of you speaks first, but I want to know what in the hell happened in there!

A grim-faced female paramedic peeps out the door.

FEMALE PARAMEDIC

Hey, Chief, the young man has expired!

Without taking his eyes off his two detectives, the chief responds to the paramedic.

CHIEF SIMMONS

Thank you. Now, fellows, I’m waiting!

Detective Moss rubs his hands together nervously.

DET. MOSS

Sir, we sat in the car for a while assuming Sam would be all right!

Detective Phipps looks away from the chief but nods his head in support of Detective Moss’ remarks.

DET. PHIPPS

Yeah, chief, the ingress and egress are the same and we had it covered.

det. moss

Yeah, chief, we had no reason to believe Sam would harm himself.

Chief Simmons tosses his cigar to the ground, grabs each detective by the collar and yells at them.

CHIEF SIMMONS

Hell, you weren’t assigned to guard the witness outside in the car! No, you were ordered to guard the witness, inside the motel cabin, room three-fifteen, and you failed to do that! You both shirked your duties! Therefore, get the hell out of my face! You’re both busted back to uniformed police officers! Report to the precinct, now! Go on! Get the hell out of my face!

INT. MALIBU SUPERIOR COURT – MORNING

JUDGE MARSHALL SITS ON THE BENCH BEFORE A CROWED COURTROOM. DISTRICT ATTORNEY WEST, ATTORNEY SAUL SOLOMON AND DEFENDANT TIM PETERS STAND BEFORE THE JUDGE. A STERN-FACED CHIEF SIMMONS SITS IN THE FRONT ROW.

JUDGE MARSHALL

D.A. West, regarding the case of the people of California versus defendant, Tim Peters, charged with murder in the second degree, what’s the peoples’ position?

A loud murmur circulates throughout the courtroom. Judge Marshall glares at the spectators. A teary-eyed Chief Simmons rises and leaves the court as the spectators stare at the retreating chief. Judge Marshall rises and pounds the gavel.

JUDGE MARSHALL

Order! Order! Order in the court!

Order is restored in the court.

JUDGE MARSHALL (CONT.)

D. A. West, you may proceed with your remarks.

A solemn D.A. West bows his head while fumbling nervously with several affidavits lying on the table. Finally he sighs deeply, raises his head and stares at the Judge. The court becomes deafening silent as D.A. clears his throat and commences his remarks.

D.A. WEST

Your honor, with great reluctance and a heavy heart, I sadly announce to the court that our only witness in this case, Mr. Sam Turner has expired. So

Your honor, in the interest of just, I move that the charge of second degree murder against defendant Tim peters be dismissed.

A loud muttering is heard among the spectators.

JUDGE MARSHALL

(Peering over his glasses)

Well Mr. D.A., based upon the people’s assertion and the dismissal affidavit you have filed with the court, the court has no option but to grant a dismissal in this case. It’s so order!

Judge Marshall bangs the gavel.

DEFENDANT PETERS BREAKS INTO A BIG GRIN REACHES OVER AND HUGS ATTORNEY SOLOMON. PETERS DASHES INTO THE AUDIENCE AND EMBRACES HIS ELATED MOTHER AND SISTER.

THE TWO ASSASSINS OF THE ALBINO, SETH TURNER, STAND IN THE REAR OF COURT. THEIR EYES MEET PETERS’, WHO GIVE THEM A WINK AND A SMILE.

INT. LOS ANGELES – LAT TV NEWS STUDIO - DAY

REPORTER BEN ROGERS SITS AT HIS NEWS DESK BEFORE TV CAMERAS PREPARING TO DELIVER THE LOCAL NEWS.

BEN ROGERS

Good afternoon. I’m Ben Rogers bringing you a special report from the dark side of Hollywood Love Woes. We have compiled a dreadful amalgamation of romance and nuptial disasters all emanating from the usually hidden, dark side of Tinseltown. This report has to do with the recent rash of infidelity and violence attributed to Hollywood actors committed against their female companions. Of course, this segment is appropriately entitled: “Should Hollywood actresses marry Hollywood actors?”

BEN ROGERS (cont’d)

As you may recall, not too long ago at Malibu Beach, Actor Tim Peters was charged with the heinous murder of his actress girlfriend, Rita Snow. After the only witness to the murder committed suicide, the murder charge was dismissed against Peters. Later, actor Chip Watts violently attacked his actress wife, Amy, after she discovered he had a younger actress in his life. Amy later divorced Chip. Sometime later, we discovered that actress Flora Mays searched her actor husband Keith Mays’ suitcase and discovered his hidden drugs and drug paraphernalia. Keith later confessed that he was a junkie. A furious Flora later went for an AIDS test. The test proved to be positive. Now, both Flora and Keith have succumbed to AIDS. We’ve learned an all-female actress group was recently organized in Los Angeles. One of their premier goals is to put a stop to the rash epidemic of excessive violence against actresses in Tinseltown. This is Ben Rogers reporting from Hollywood Love Woes. We’ll have more on Love Woes in Hollywood later tonight. Good afternoon.

EXT. SURFWATER CAFÉ – AFTERNOON – AFTERNOON

AT AN OUTDOOR CAFÉ THE SUN GLOWS BRIGHTLY AS A REFRESHING BREEZE BLOWS FROM THE NOISY OCEAN. ACTOR BILL SHANE BASKS IN A HAPPY MOOD WHILE SITTING AT A TABLE DINING WITH DIRECTOR TEDDY GRAVES, 60. THE MEN ARE APPROACHED BY COMEDIAN GARY PORTER, 40.

GARY PORTER

Hey, look at my favorite actor and my favorite director. May I join you illustrious celebrities?

Bill and Teddy look up and extend their hands to Gary, who always presents a happy smile.

TEDDY

Hey Gary, my favorite comedian; please have a seat.

Gary taps Bill and Teddy on their shoulders and sits down. A waiter comes over to Gary.

GARY

(To waiter)

I’ll have a Budweiser.

The waiter leaves.

BILL

(Smiling)

Hello, Gary! How’re things going? By the way, I caught your TV special last week.

gary

(Beaming)

Did you really? How did you like it?

bill

Oh, it was great, especially the hilarious skit about Hollywood’s failed romances and marriages.

teddy

I also caught your special and it was the most humorous comedy I’ve ever seen.

Gary stands up briefly and playfully bows to his friends.

GARY

Thanks guys it’s most appreciated. By the way, Bill, I read about your misfortunes in the marital arena.

Bill breaks into a big laugh.

BILL

Oh yeah, that was then but look at me now. Those painful days are history. I swear to both of you I’ll never marry another alimony-hungry bitch. They’ve got more financial greed than the IRS.

Teddy raises his eyebrows and winks at Gary.

TEDDY

Don’t believe him, Gary, stay tuned.

Teddy playfully places his hand behind his ear.

TEDDY

Listen! Hey Gary, can’t you hear the wedding bells ringing wildly? I hear them.

Gary laughs loudly.

GARY

You know, Teddy, your prognostication has a certain ring of truth to it. Yeah, lover boy Bill can’t resist the matrimonial urge of a young, beautiful Hollywood starlet.

teddy

How about that? Yeah, Bill, how many young beautiful actresses are you deceiving now?

The waiter sits a bud on the table; Bill takes a deep swig and responds to Teddy’s question.

BILL

Now hold up fellows. Just hold up.

Teddy and Gary sip their beer. Silence builds as Teddy and Gary cross their arms while waiting patiently for Bill to reply. Bill opens his mouth to reply but grabs his crotch and dash toward the men’s room.

LATER, BILL RETURNS TO THE TABLE BUT REMAINS STANDING. HOWEVER, TEDDY AND GARY STILL SIT WITH THEIR ARM CROSSED, WAITING FOR BILL TO REPLY TO TEDDY’S QUESTION.

BILL

(Bragging, smiling)

Okay, Teddy, let me answer your question. My philosophy is this, all of these naïve actresses are in this business for the taking. If I don’t accommodate them, then other Romeos will capture their love. So, I say, why can’t a handsome stud such as myself, savor their lovingness? But if you guys refuse to partake in the love-fest, then, there’re more babes for me.

Bill laughs heartily, and walks away along the sandy beach. He turns and waves to his friends.

TEDDY

(Seriously)

You, know Gary, I truly believe Bill is a misogynist.

Gary stands up and looks down at Teddy.

GARY

(Seriously)

Yeah, Teddy, I agree. It’s the wild, temperamental, and unfaithful actors such as Bill Shane and Chip Watts who will eventually chase our lovely actresses straight into the brawny arms of our competitors, blue-collar men.

Teddy rises and shakes Gary’s hand.

TEDDY

Gary, I have to leave now, but in the near future, I must have a serious chat with both Chip and Bill about their mean-spirited behavior toward women.

Both men rise from the table and depart in separate directions.

INT. MALIBU - BACKLOT RESTAURANT – NIGHT

IN THE REAR OF THE LARGE, SWANKY RESTAURANT SEVERAL TABLES ARE DECORATED WITH COLORFUL FLOWERS. A JAZZ TRIO PLAYS SOFT MUSIC. AT A TABLE UP FRONT, ACTRESS GRACE GRAHAM DINES WITH SEVERAL ACTRESSES AND THE HONOREE, ACTRESS EDITH CRANE. SEVERAL ACTRESSES DINE AT OTHER TABLES.

THE DRUMMER PLAYS A DRUM ROLL.

A DEAFENING HUSH ENGULFS THE RESTAURANT AS GRACE RISES TO SPEAK TO THE GROUP. SHE STANDS BEFORE A MICROPHONE AND ADDRESSES HER SISTER ACTRESSES AS THEY RISE AND GIVE A LOUD, BOISTEROUS WELCOME AND SIT DOWN.

GRACE GRAHAM

(Smiling)

Good evening, sisters of the cinema I thank you very much for responding in appreciative numbers.

GRACE GRAHAM (cont’d)

Yes, we’re here to honor and pay homage to a woman, an actress, a trailblazer who tirelessly cleared the briar patches of sexism, scraped the rustic roads of bravado and finally paved the winding highway of feminine prosperity on screen, on stage, behind the camera and in the ivory towers of movie production companies. Yes, her craftiness and lofty intelligence have launched us all into a towering orbit of Hollywood fame and fortune. No, we haven’t seen much of our dear sister lately. But tonight, we have her with us all aglow in spirit. So, without further ado rise my sisters and assist me in paying tribute to our Hollywood matriarch, a woman, an actress, who will forever loom as our leading lady. I give you an illustrious actress, Ms. Edith Crane.

Edith rises slowly leaning on a walking cane. Grace grabs her arm and assists her to the microphone, as the actresses all stand applauding with a thunderous ovation. Edith waves heartily; her weak eyes slowly scan the cheering throng. Many of the actresses’ eyes swell with tears. Edith becomes so overwhelmed with joy she casts her cane aside. Finally Edith signals her sisters to sit down.

EDITH CRANE

(Weak, raspy voice)

My sisters in this business, professionally known as the movie industry, I sincerely thank you for coming to pay homage to me and the efforts I’ve made to tilt the playing field into an arena, where we actresses can now prosper from movie scripts of flowing text meticulously inscribed upon paper, which now lead us to the ivory towers where Producer and 20th Central Fox founder Darryl Francis Zanuck once sat. Many of you acclaimed actresses have won Oscars and other prestigious awards.

EDITH CRANE (cont’d)

But I want to touch on an area where we all share the blame of total neglect: the increasing number of failed relationships and marriages. Yes, as you’ve advanced and prospered in our craft, off camera, you must also trigger your desires and fortitude to flourish in your romantic unions with your mates. But on a more horrifying level, I’m saddened thinking of the recent, heinous murder of actress Rita Snow by her merciless boyfriend, Actor, Tim Peters. I’m also thinking the nasty divorces of Amy and Chip Watts also Molly and Bill Shane. However, one of the most distressing failed Hollywood marriages was that of Flora and Keith Mays, whereas Keith, a drug user, infected Flora with the deadly disease, AIDS. Sadly they both later succumbed to that dreaded disease. Unfortunately, ladies, violence in Hollywood relationships and marriages has reached epidemic proportion. Regarding all of the broken marriages recently reported by the news media, for the most part, brutal actors are the vile villains and you frail actresses are the helpless victims. Sisters, I’ve been married to seven actor-husbands and they were all egotistical brutes.

Edith begins to weep; all actresses in the audience wipe tears from their eyes.

EDITH CRANE (CONT.)

Many of you sitting there trying to appear unscathed are actually subsisting in a fantasy land and the public is not fooled. But I beg of you to seize your dignity, reclaim your womanhood from the monstrous clutches of your womanizing Tinseltown mates. Wake up, unite, and be strong in formulating an all-woman’s organization that will reclaim your wholeness.

EDITH CRANE (cont’d)

Then you’ll astonish the world as you promote your social independence, while excelling in the art which you’ve strived so laboriously to master. In closing, ladies, I’m really advocating all of you actresses to wrap yourselves within a private commune of independent security. I’m stressing the creation of a compound, a matriarchal society, whereas actresses can select their chosen destiny without the perpetual onslaught and fear of brutal, egotistical actors. Finally, you queens of the silver screen, I won’t be here to see your matriarchal compound created, but from a remote distance on high, I will be cheering and singing your praises. So, my sisters, I say, let’s forgo those pretty-face actors who’ve smitten you with their rudeness and narcissism. Thus, you should begin a necessary rebirth and open wide your doors for the reception and acceptance of the blue-collar lover. Now, ladies of the cinema, are you going to ignore the heartfelt counsel of this old broad and remain victims to those malicious, narcissistic patriarchs of the cinema? I wonder. I wonder. I wonder. Thank you very much.

Grace rises and assists Edith back to her seat. The actresses rise from their seats with tears flowing down their faces, and extend a thundering ovation to the woman they all admire.

TWO MONTHS LATER

EXT. SAN FERNANDO VALLEY – LARGE ABANDONED ARMY BASE – DAY

IN THE MIDST OF A SPRAWLING GRASSY KNOLL SITS A LARGE, ABANDONED, ARMY HEADQUARTERS’ BUILDING BADLY IN NEED OF RESTORATION. IN THE SAME VICINITY LIES A PLETHORA OF UNPAINTED BARRACKS AND A MESS HALL. SCATTERED PATCHES OF DEAD TREES AND WITHERED FLOWERS SURROUNDING THE AREA. ALONGSIDE THE BARRACKS A FEW DILAPIDATED, ARMY JEEPS AND TANKS WERE LEFT TO RUST.

INT. ABANDONED ARMY HEADQUARTERS – DAY

INSIDE THE SHAMBLED, DUSTY HEADQUARTERS, ACTRESS GRACE GRAHAM AND FOUR ACTRESSES WIPE OFF DUSTY CHAIRS AND A LONG TABLE. A LARGE PHOTO OF THE LATE ACTRESS, EDITH CRANE, SITS ATOP THE TABLE. GRACE AND HER ENTOURAGE SIT AT THE TABLE. AROUND THE HEADQUARTERS, A PLETHORA OF ACTRESSES USE RAGS TO DUST OFF THE CHAIRS AND TABLES BEFORE THEY TAKE THEIR SEATS. LATER, GRACE STANDS UP AND CALLS THE SESSION TO ORDER.

GRACE GRAHAM

(CLEARS HER THROAT)

Good morning my sister actresses. As most of you know my name is Grace Graham and I want to thank you for coming and enrolling in Hollywood’s first matriarchal sanctuary for actresses. I sincerely thank you for electing me as your first president. Yes, thanks to the suggestion and advocacy of our legendary actress, Edith Shane, we as thriving actresses now have a sacred retreat quite remote from the convenient haunts of our narcissistic, actor lovers. So ladies, as you know last week we lost our legend, Edith Crane. Please bow your heads for a moment of silent prayer.

All of the actresses bow their heads.

GRACE

I say, may God have mercy on her soul. Amen.

actresses

Amen.

grace

Now, let me introduce my board members; as I announce your names, please stand; Molly Bellamy, Amy Ross, Gwen Ames, Cathy Wright, Agnes Foxx, and Gloria Gates.

All of the standing board members smile broadly and wave to their applauding sister actresses. Grace nods to the actresses and they resume their seats.

GRACE

Our commune or sanctuary will be named “The Edith Crane Village”, in honor of our late, great, legendary actress. Sisters, when you return to assume your residency at Edith Crane Village, you won’t recognize this dump. Some of the village amenities will consist of large-living quarters, maid service, nurseries, parks, swimming pools, theaters, post office, supermarkets, restaurants, a church, a galleria and many other amenities to address and accommodate your posh lifestyles. Remember ladies, as the late Edith Crane advocated and I agree, we will adopt a stringent policy of allowing only men of the blue-collar persuasion onto these premises; under no circumstances will actors be allowed to enter. So ends this session.

The actresses gather around Grace and chat.

INT. MOTION PICTURES ASSOCIATION – DAY

IN A SWANKY BOARDROOM, PRESIDENT, PAUL LAMB, A STERN GRAY-HAIRED 60-YEAR-OLD MAN, AN EXECUTIVE, SITS AT THE HEAD OF A LONG MAHOGANY TABLE. HIS FIVE, NATTILY ATTIRED, BOARD MEMBERS SIT CHATTING ON BOTH SIDES OF THE TABLE.

PAUL LAMB

(Sternly)

Okay men, listen up. Thanks for coming. I called this urgent session because it seems some production companies are suddenly experiencing defiant behavior from their leading actresses. Maybe we can discuss and discover the causes of our actress’s sudden disruptive behavior.

CARL ABRAMS, a balding executive of 50, speaks as his colleagues listen attentively.

CARL ABRAMS

(CORDIALLY)

Well, Paul, I guess most of you’ve heard that a lesbian, actress Grace Graham, has successfully brainwashed a large flock of our leading actresses and has influenced them to refrain from romantically mingling with their male counterparts off screen. Personally, I think the actresses are frightened.

JOHN CLARK, a blonde-haired, executive of 55, stomps his feet in protest and sits down.

JOHN CLARK

(Angrily)

What in the hell is going on? Men, who set the required decorum in this movie industry, us or a damned lesbian?

The moguls mumble their shared dissatisfaction. Paul bangs twice on the table. The moguls cease talking and turn to Paul.

PAUL

(Impatiently)

Carl, let’s continue because we don’t have much time. You know some of your brothers also want to make some remarks.

carl

(Speaking slowly)

It seems Grace plans to renovate an old, abandoned army base in the San Fernando Valley. I understand the base will be named the Edith Crane Village, after the legendary actress. Thus, the village will be a commune set aside for only leading actresses. The village will have an assortment of amenities such as nurseries, supermarkets, restaurants, churches, a post office, and other amenities for the ladies’ pleasures.

BEN WISE, an executive of 50, rises and speaks bluntly to Carl.

BEN WISE

(Stuttering)

Well, man, get on with it! Is there anything else?

CARL (CONT.)

(Roll his eyes at Ben Wise)

Finally and here’s the clincher, after the actresses are settled in their new abode, this women-controlled village will be off limits to all actors and only blue-collar men will be admitted. That’s all I have to report.

FRANK TURNER, an executive, 55, shakes his head in protest.

FRANK TURNER

(Grimacing)

I can’t believe this garbage! Carl, are you implying this will be a lavish residential compound for only leading ladies of the silver screen? I can’t believe it!

Paul stands up and addresses the moguls.

PAUL

Well, Frank, and the rest of you skeptics, you better believe it, because within one year, Edith Crane Village will be a reality and as producers of this Motion Picture Association, we must soften the impact of this imminent renaissance.

Paul sits down. PETER LEVY, 82, speaks.

PETER LEVY

(Frowning)

Paul, I’m the oldest member of this clan. I dare say we should stand pat and refuse to ink contracts with any actress who resides at that Lesbian’s future compound.

Several producers wear disenchanted scowls on their faces. Paul offers his last sentiment. Paul looks around and wipes his brow.

PAUL

(Apologetically)

Well, Peter, with all due respect, regarding the lesbian, Grace Graham and her matriarchal compound, we don’t want the world to label us as a platoon of xenophobic producers. This is a new era and I say we’ll placate Ms. Graham and all of her actress tenants. We’ll provide daily transportation to and from their shooting locales.

(Looking around the table)

Well now, what’s this? I see some hostile faces around the table. So, let’s vote on this contentious issue. Those agreeing with my suggestion please stand.

As Paul looks around, three producers stand then resume their seats.

PAUL

Okay, now all of those opposed.

Peter Levy and Frank Turner rise in opposition and sit down.

PAUL

Thanks men. This means at the opening of Edith Crane Village, we’ll offer our wholehearted support. We’re now adjourned.

As most of the producers walk over and chat with Paul, Frank Turner and Peter Levy glower in disapproval and stomp out of the boardroom, mumbling in anger.

ONE YEAR LATER

INT. LAT TV NEWS STUDIO – DAY

TV NEWS CORRESPONDENT LIZ COLLINS SITS AT HER NEWS DESK BEFORE TAPING THE NEWS.

LIZ COLLINS

Good evening. I’m LAT TV news Correspondent Liz Collins reporting. Well, tomorrow is an historic day for Hollywood and many of its most renowned leading ladies.

LIZ COLLINS (cont.)

Some of Hollywood’s most renowned actresses will vacate their posh abodes and relocate to a new sprawling estate in the San Fernando Valley, Edith Crane Village. The new swanky compound was once one of America’s most distinguished army bases. Actress GRACE GRAHAM, president of the all-female commune, will head the dedication along with Mayor CURT RIVERS and Governor VINCENT AGARD. What is most unique about this experimental housing complex for leading actresses is that, this matriarchal commune will be strictly off limits to Hollywood leading men, but on the contrary, blue-collar men are cordially welcomed. Behind the cameras in Tinseltown, this astounding prohibition is certain to stir controversial chatter and possibly brew a turbulent backlash. This is Liz Collins reporting.

EXT. EDITH CRANE VILLAGE – DAY

IT’S A QUIET, SUNNY AFTERNOON. EDITH CRANE VILLAGE IS COMPLETED. A LARGE, SWANKY THREE-STORY OFFICE BUILDING STANDS IN THE MIDST OF SPRAWLING ACREAGE OF RESIDENTIAL APARTMENTS. CARPETS OF GREEN GRASS, PATCHES OF MULTICOLORED FLOWERS AND GREEN TREES BEAUTIFY THE LUXURY AREA. A WINDING STREET CIRCLES THE COMPOUND. SEVERAL UPSCALE CABINS BLANKET THE EXPANSIVE REAL ESTATE. IN FRONT OF THE POST OFFICE, A LONE AMERICAN FLAG FLUTTERS ATOP A FLAGPOLE. A LARGE SHOPPING MALL SURROUNDS THE AREA PATROLLED BY SECURITY GUARDS.

EXT. EDITH CRANE VILLAGE – NIGHT

ON A WINDY NIGHT, THE VILLAGE IS DIMLY LIT. AT THE FAR END OF THE VILLAGE WE SEE TWO UNIFORMED SECURITY FIGURES PATROLLING THE PERIMETERS. A CAR WITHOUT HEADLIGHTS PULLS ONTO THE STREET NEAR THE OFFICE BUILDING. TWO DARK FIGURES EXIT THE CAR AND DASH TOWARD THE OFFICE BUILDING. MOMENTS LATER, WE SEE THE TWO DARK FIGURES RUNNING TO THEIR CAR. AS THE CAR SPEEDS AWAY AT HIGH SPEED, WE HEAR A LOUD, THUNDEROUS BLAST. NOW WE SEE FIGURES OF TWO UNIFORMED SECURITY GUARDS RUNNING TOWARD THE EXPLOSION. ONE GUARD GRABS HIS SECURITY RADIO AND CALLS FOR ASSISTANCE.

1ST SECURITY GUARD

(Frantic, broken English)

Hey, dispatcher, me security guard at the village; me got big, big fire, send fire truck, pronto!

fire dispatcher (MALE)

Okay, security, sir, the fire department has been notified and they’re on the way.

We hear fire engines’ sirens in the distance. We see the first of these fire engines with flashing lights stopping near the explosion area. Squads of firemen, lead by Chief ROY BELMONT, 50, leap off their trucks, grabbing hoses and begin spraying water upon the blazing, collapsed building. A sudden blustery wind blows sparks of fire onto the roofs of nearby buildings.

FIRE CHIEF ROY BELMONT

(Excited, yelling, pointing)

Okay, men, look! The fire has spread to other buildings! Some of you men grab these hoses and water-down those buildings. The wind is a factor; we must contain this damned thing!

The firemen grab the hoses and train the water on the inflamed buildings.

THE VARIOUS FIRES ARE NOW UNDER CONTROL; SMALL PUFFS OF SMOKE RISE FROM THE DEBRIS. THE EXHAUSTED FIREMEN SIT ABOUT ON THE GRASS NEAR THEIR FIRE ENGINES. THE QUIET MOMENT IS INTERRUPTED AS THE NOISY ENGINE OF THE FIRE MARSHAL’S OLD JALOPY ARRIVES.

EXT. EDITH CRANE VILLAGE – NIGHT

FIRE MARSHALS, GEORGE PAYNE, 35, AND ED MONROE, 40, DRESSED IN SUITS AND TIRES, EXIT THEIR VEHICLE AND APPROACH CHIEF BELMONT WHO’S RESTING ON THE FIRE ENGINE’S FRONT BUMPER.

FIRE MARSHAL ED MONROE

Hello, Chief. I’m sorry we’re late; we had an arsonist investigation across town. Two kids were DOA at the scene.

Chief Belmont shakes his head sadly as Monroe and Payne brush away tears.

CHIEF BELMONT

I understand guys. Don’t forget, I was once a Fire Marshal.

fire marshal ed monroe

Chief, what do you have here?

chief belmont

Well, it was a blast, possibly dynamite.

The Marshals look at the smoldering debris and walk toward the flattened office building. Marshal Payne stops, looks back at the fire chief and ask him a question.

FIRE MARSHAL PAYNE

Hey Chief, any witnesses?

Chief Belmont points at two security guards chatting and drinking coffee near the leveled office building.

CHIEF BELMONT

Yeah, see those Mexican security guards standing over there? You might check with them.

(Sly smile)

Good luck with them.

The Marshals walk over to the guards; they both pull out their badges and introduce themselves to the guards.

FIRE MARSHAL MONROE

Hello guys. I’m Fire Marshal Ed Monroe and this is my partner, George Payne.

Both smiling guards greet the Marshals in broken English.

1ST GUARD

(Stammering)

Me name Pablo Ramos.

2nd guard

(Stammering)

Me name Miguel Rodriquez.

fire marshal payne

Okay, Mr. Ramos, what did you see? Did you see anyone near the office building?

Ramos gives Payne a blank stare and gazes at guard Rodriquez. The Marshals give each other puzzling stares.

FIRE MARSHAL MONROE

Hey, George, maybe he doesn’t hear well.

fire marshal payne

(Annoyed, speaks to other guard)

Hey, Mr. Rodriquez, did you see anything?

Rodriquez gives both Marshals a blank stare and doesn’t answer.

FIRE MARSHAL MONROE

(To his partner)

Hey, Payne, these Mexicans don’t speak English.

Marshal Payne shakes his head in disgust.

FIRE MARSHAL PAYNE

What? You mean to tell me the CEO of this damned exclusive compound hired a couple of Mexican immigrants, to guard this multimillion dollar estate and they can’t speak English? It’s crazy; it doesn’t make sense.

Both security guards gaze confusingly at each other, offer silly grins and nod to both Marshals.

GUARD RODRIQUEZ

(To both Marshals)

Si, senor, we no speak English.

Both Marshals shake their heads in disbelief, gaze at the guards and walk slowly away. As the Marshals walk away, both guards display silly grins.

FIRE MARSHAL MONROE

(Annoyed, speaks to Payne)

Let’s get away from these misfits.

Using flashlights, both Marshals inspect the smoldering debris. Payne bends down and discovers two empty dynamite boxes; he puts on gloves and examines the boxes.

FIRE MARSHAL PAYNE

Look Ed, here are the empty boxes which perhaps contained the dynamite.

Marshal Monroe dons his gloves and examines the boxes.

FIRE MARSHAL MONROE

Yeah, so far, there seem to be no further clues. Let’s take the boxes to the lab.

EXT. MALIBU BEACH - WATERSPROUT OPEN BAR – DAY

BILL SHANE, GARY PORTER, TEDDY GRAVES AND CHIP WATTS, SIT ON BARSTOOLS AT AN OPENED BAR, ATTIRED IN SHORT PANTS AND TEE SHIRTS, GULPING-DOWN PITCHERS OF BEER. BILL AND CHIP ARE SLIGHTLY INEBRIATED. AT THE END OF THE BAR, A LARGE TV PLAYS ON A HIGH SHELF. TEDDY GLANCES UP AT THE SCREEN AND SPOTS GRACE GRAHAM, MOLLY AND AMY VIEWING THE CHARRED BUILDINGS AT EDITH CRANE VILLAGE.

TEDDY

(Waves to his pals)

Shut up guys let’s listen to this news report.

The guys stop talking and gaze at the TV screen.

EXT. EDITH CRANE VILLAGE – DAY

DEMOLISHED BUILDINGS LOOM IN THE BACKGROUND. GRACE GRAHAM SHEDS TEARS WHILE STANDING BETWEEN ACTRESSES MOLLY BELLAMY AND AMY ROSS, SHE HOLDS THEIR HANDS. THE ACTRESSES POSE BEFORE A BANK OF MICROPHONES AND TV CAMERAS ANSWERING QUESTIONS POSED BY THE PRINT AND TV MEDIA.

YOUNG FEMALE REPORTER

Ms. Graham, can you think of anyone who wouldn’t want to see Edith Crane Village operational?

Ms. Graham wipes her eyes with a tissue.

GRACE GRAHAM

(Shakes her head)

No, but I’ve heard there are many misogynists out there who’ve expressed their dissatisfaction with our intended policy of allowing blue-collar men on the premises rather than Hollywood actors.

The assembly of reporters gazes at each other and mumble aloud. As the mumbling ceases, a second reporter poses a question to Grace.

YOUNG MALE REPORTER

Well then, Ms. Graham, from what you’ve heard, do you think perhaps an actor or some actors are responsible for this horrendous explosion?

grace

At this point, I don’t have a clue and I don’t want to cast aspersions upon anyone. That’s all I have to say for the moment. Thank you.

Ms. Graham and her associates dash into a waiting limo and drive away.

EXT. WATERSPROUT OPEN BAR – DAY

THE STUNNED PATRONS GAZE AT THE LARGE TV IN THE REAR.

TEDDY

(Empathy)

That’s a damn shame, who would destroy such a beautiful housing complex?

Bill and Chip shrug their shoulders.

BILL

(Annoyed)

I don’t know but obviously those prima donnas made enemies along the way to fame and fortune. Damn it! That lesbian, Grace, stood there squeezing my ex-wife’s hand. Chip did you notice how tightly Grace held Molly’s hand?

chip

Yeah, I noticed how tightly Grace held Amy and Molly’s hands. Don’t forget, Amy is my ex-wife. But Bill, word has it that our ex-wives are now Grace’s new love interests. Gary and Teddy, did you guys know Grace Graham was a lesbian?

Gary and Teddy shrug their shoulders nonchalantly.

GARY

(Scowling)

So what if Grace is the girls’ lover, what’s the big deal? Have you guys suddenly turned xenophobic?

Chip leaps from his barstool and stares angrily at Gary.

CHIP

Gary, what in-the-hell is wrong with you? This lesbian is sneakily implying that some actor or actors blew up her love nest! There’s no evidence any actor or actors blasted her commune! Who knows, Grace may have a flock of jealous hens after her and maybe they blew up her sanctuary! Damn it, let’s all wait and see!

Bill joins Chip; he too stands up and glares at Gary.

BILL

(Defensive)

Hey, Gary, we aren’t homophobic! But why are you damn comedians so liberal? Grace is setting up Edith Crane Village to be a love nest for lesbian and blue-collar men, all at the exclusion of us male actors, the real jocks of Hollywood!

(Shouting)

Hey Chip, let’s get the hell out of here!

Bill and Chip stomp away in anger.

TEDDY

(Shakes Gary’s hand)

You know, Gary, those guys have a problem with women, whether they’re straight or lesbians. I believe both misogynists will be blackballed from movie productions within one year’s time; just wait and see.

Gary shakes his head and gives a broad smile.

GARY

I agree, Teddy, and it’s just a matter of time before Bill and Chip self-destruct.

Teddy holds his head down for a moment and then raises his head with a sudden thought. He taps Gary on the shoulder and prepares to speak. Gary looks up at Teddy and smile as if he knows Teddy’s thought.

TEDDY

Gary, I am wondering, do you think Bill and Chip blasted those buildings at Edith Crane Village?

Gary stares at Teddy for a moment and ponders his question.

GARY

Gee, Teddy, I don’t know. But now you’ve aroused my curiosity. However, I truly believe those characters are capable are doing the unimaginable. But a bombing, where lives were in danger? I’m not sure, but I wonder. I wonder. I wonder.

INT. GRACE GRAHAM’S APARTMENT – PARLOR – NIGHT

SOFT MUSIC PLAYS AS GRACE, ATTIRED IN A THIN ROBE, SITS ON A SOFA BETWEEN MOLLY AND AMY, WHO’RE ALSO ATTIRED IN THIN ROBES. THEY CHAT SOFTLY. GRACE GETS UP, BENDS OVER AND KISSES MOLLY AND AMY ON THEIR LIPS. SHE WALKS AWAY SLOWLY, LOOKS BACK AND GIVES BOTH GALS A SEDUCTIVE SMILE.

GRACE

(Winks)

I’m going to take a shower; a cold one.

INT. BATHROOM - NIGHT

IN THE FOGGY BATHROOM BEHIND A CLOSED, GLASS PARTITION, WE SEE GRACE STANDING BENEATH THE GUSHING SHOWER SMILING BROADLY; SHE RUBS SOAP OVER HER BODY. SUDDENLY, WE SEE A HAND ON THE OUTER HANDLE OF THE GLASS PARTITION. THE GLASS PARTITION SLOWLY SLIDES OPEN. GRACE LOOKS TOWARD THE OPENED PARTITION AND SEES MOLLY AND AMY OGLING HER WITH BROAD GRINS. THE NAKED MOLLY AND AMY STEP INTO THE SHOWER. THEY CLASP GRACE’S BODY AND BEGIN KISSING AND FONDLING HER. WITHIN SECONDS THE HEAVILY BREATHING LOVERS BECOME ENTWINED IN A PASSIONATE, TORRID MÉNAGE A TRIOS’.

INT. LOS ANGELES – FORENSIC SCIENCE LAB – DAY

DIRECTOR OF FORENSIC, DR. DUKE MILES, 70, LONG, GRAY SHOULDER-LENGTH HAIR, A GEEK, SITS AT HIS DESK ATTIRED IN A WHITE SMOCK. HE LOOKS OVER HIS ROUND-RIMMED GLASSES WHILE PERUSING LAB RESULTS. FINALLY, DR. MILES RAISES HIS HEAD AND ADDRESSES FIRE MARSHALL PAYNE AND MONROE, WHO SIT ACROSS FROM HIM.

DR. MILES

(Stern)

Well, boys, I know you both were hoping I would find some latent prints or some other evidence on those empty dynamite boxes; however, I’m sorry to say, you must look elsewhere for your clues and evidence.

Both Fire Marshals bow their heads in disappointment. They shake Dr. Mile’s hand. Monroe places his hand on Payne’s shoulder.

FIRE MARSHAL MONROE

Well, partner, let’s go back to the crime scene and dig for further evidence.

fire marshal payne

Okay, here we go again. Doc, thanks for your effort.

dr. miles

Good luck next time, boys.

EXT. LOS ANGELES – SIDEWALK IN FRONT OF POSH APARTMENT BUILDING – NIGHT

IT’S A STORMY NIGHT, HEAVY DOWNPOUR. ACTRESS BEVY HACK, A TALL, GORGEOUS BLONDE, 25, WALKS TOWARD HER RESIDENCE LOCKED ARM-IN-ARM WITH TALL HANDSOME ACTOR, JOEL B. COOPER, 30. JOEL HOISTS AN UMBRELLA OVER THEIR HEADS. SUDDENLY WE SEE A SHADOWY FIGURE STANDING IN THE DARKENED DOORWAY OF THE APARTMENT BUILDING. AS THE COUPLE NEARS THE BUILDING ENTRANCE, WE SEE THE FIGURE EMERGING FROM THE DARKENED ENTRANCE ONTO THE SIDEWALK IN FRONT OF THE STARTLED COUPLE, WHO STOP ABRUPTLY. THE SHADOWY FIGURE IS ACTOR CHIP WATTS, BEVY’S LOVER.

CHIP WATTS

(Eyes wide with curiosity)

Bevy, you’re supposed to be my girl! What are you doing walking with this creep and by the way, who in the hell is this idiot?

Bevy’s nervous escort drops the umbrella to the ground and removes his arm from Bevy’s. Her entire body quivers with fear.

BEVY HACK

(Sobbing)

Chip, honey, he’s an actor, my co-star, Joel B. Cooper; you’ve heard of him!

Chip strikes Joel’s face hard sending him sprawling to the sidewalk. Chip grabs Bevy by her shoulders and shakes her violently. He slaps her face hard splattering blood over her clothing.

BEVY

(Screaming)

Stop Chip! Stop! You’ve hurt me and look, you’ve knocked Joe unconscious! God, he’s not moving! Chip, he was only walking me home!

chip

(Yelling)

That’s a damn lie and I don’t believe you! I think you’re fucking this damn Joel! But this time, I didn’t give your leading man a chance to rendezvous with you upstairs for a nightcap and a wiggle between the bed sheets!

Bevy breaks away from chip and sprints over to assist Joel who’s lying unconscious on the ground. Chip dashes over and kicks Joe in the ass. Bevy screams loudly.

BEVY

Please, please someone call the police! Call 911!

Two police vehicles with flashing lights speed toward the scene from both direction. Residents rush out of their buildings. Upon seeing the police officers leaping out of their vehicles, Chip runs down the street looking over his shoulder. The police officers dash over to Bevy who’s kneeling over Joe. Bevy glances up at the officers.

BEVY

Officers, stop that man! He has just assaulted us!

Two officers chase after Chip and both bring him down with a bruising, flying tackle. Chip puts up a brief struggle. The cops cuff him and walk him back to the crime scene, where a group of anxious news photographers snap photos of the raving actor.

CHIP

You damned photographers get those damned cameras out of my face!

As the officers place Chip into a squad car, an ambulance with flashing emergency lights arrives. The ambulance attendants exit their vehicle and tend to Bevy and Joel.

INT. LOS ANGELES POLICE PRECINCT – NIGHT

A TALL, NO-NONSENSE, BLACK DESK SERGEANT, 45, STANDS BEHIND A TALL DESK. CHIP WATTS, NOW SILENT, HIS CLOTHING SOAKED WITH BLOOD, STANDS BETWEEN TWO ARRESTING OFFICERS. WE HEAR A LOUD RUCKUS AT THE ENTRANCE. THE DESK SERGEANT AND THE OTHER OFFICERS GLANCE TOWARD THE ENTRANCE. TWO BURLY OFFICERS ESCORT A BLOODY, CURSING, HANDCUFFED ACTOR, BILL SHANE BEFORE THE DESK SERGEANT. THEY STAND BEHIND ACTOR CHIP WATTS AND HIS ARRESTING OFFICERS.

BILL SHANE

(Sarcastic)

Hey Sarge, why in the fuck am I here? (Spots his pal, Chip)

Hey Chip, what-in-the fuck are you doing in this dump? You know, these Nazis are running a police state!

Chip nods his head in accord.

CHIP

(Annoyed)

You’re damn right, Bill, my actor brother. Yeah, why don’t these Gestapos venture into the ghettos and really earn their puny salaries.

Desk sergeant and officers ignore both prisoners.

DESK SERGEANT

(Stern, points finger at Chip)

Officers, what are the charges against this guy, this so-called actor?

first arresting officer

Sarge, Chip Watts is charged with two counts of felonious assault. Depending upon the outcome of one of the seriously injured victims, the D.A. may escalate the charge to murder.

desk sergeant

All right, you officers take Watts upstairs and complete your paper work.

Sarge gives officers their arrest forms. Officers escort the silent Watts upstairs.

DESK SERGEANT

Next, officers what are the charges against this other so-called actor?

second arresting officer

Sarge, actor Bill Shane was arrested for assaulting his friend, Kitty Taylor, an actress, who’s now hospitalized.

Desk sergeant gives Shane an intimidating stare.

DESK SERGEANT

Get his ass upstairs and process him. I’m tired of looking at his face.

Desk Sergeant gives officers their arrest forms. As the officers escort Shane upstairs, he turns and calls out to the sergeant.

BILL

(Sarcastically)

Hey Sarge, your court system can’t successfully prosecute me. Don’t you know I’m a top-notch leading-man on the silver screen? You just wait until my high-powered, Jewish Attorney go up against your puny magistrate in court tomorrow.

desk sergeant

(Sarcasm)

I know, Mr. Actor, maybe tomorrow your attorney will represent you in court and comfort you somewhat, but tonight, my friend, your ass belongs to me and I’m your master for the next twenty-four hours!

The desk sergeant laughs aloud.

INT. LAT TV NEWS STUDIO – NIGHT

CORRESPONDENT TERI CAHN, FEMALE, 30, SITS AT HER NEWS DESK BEFORE TV CAMERAS WAITING TO PRESENT HOLLYWOOD LOVE WOES.

INT. GRACE GRAHAM’S RESIDENCE – NIGHT

ATTIRED IN T-SHIRTS AND SHORTS, GRACE, AMY AND MOLLY EXERCISE TO MUSIC.

GRACE

(Laughing)

Come on, girls, it’s time for another episode of Hollywood Love Woes. Let’s watch it in the bedroom.

amy

(Laughing)

Yeah let’s go.

MOLLY

(Laughing)

Don’t leave me alone.

Grace races toward the bedroom closely chased by Amy and Molly.

INT. BEDROOM

GRACE LEAPS INTO THE MIDDLE OF THE BED. AMY AND MOLLY LIE DOWN ON BOTH SIDES OF HER. GRACE FLIPS ON THE TV WITH THE REMOTE.

INT. LAT TV NEWS STUDIO – NIGHT

SITTING AT HER NEWS DESK BEFORE TV CAMERAS, CORRESPONDENT TERI CAHN PRESENTS HOLLYWOOD LOVES WOES.

CORRESPONDENT TERI CAHN

Greetings Hollywood fans, I’m Teri Cahn with Hollywood Woes; I have a startling report emanating from Los Angeles. Late last night, two of Hollywood’s most jealous bachelors, Chip Watts and Bill Shane were arrested and charged with assaulting their actress-girlfriends, Bevy Hack and Kitty Taylor, respectively. Both actresses were accosted in the arms of their dates. Join us later during our evening broadcast for an update on this story.

INT. GRACE’S RESIDENCE – NIGHT

STILL IN BED, AFTER WATCHING A NEWS REPORT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST TWO ACTRESSES, GRACE, AMY AND MOLLY ARE SHOCKED, THEIR MOUTHS’ SPRING OPEN IN ASTONISHMENT.

AMY

(Fingers held near her lips)

Dam-it, what’s wrong with Chip? I feel so sorry for Bevy hack. I once worked with her at Warner Brothers.

molly

(Rubbing her chin)

Ditto, I feel excessive empathy for Kitty Taylor; she was my co-star at Paramount. Oh, I need a drink.

Molly leaps out of bed and heads for the parlor.

INT. PARLOR

MOLLY GRABS A BOTTLE OF SCOTCH FROM THE BAR.

WE HEAR AMY YELLING FROM THE BEDROOM AND THEN WE ALSO HER GRACE CHIMING IN.

AMY (O.S.)

Molly, bring me some of that high-potency tonic.

grace (O.S.)

Yeah, and don’t forget me.

Molly rapidly pours three hefty shots of Scotch into three glasses, places them on a tray and heads back into the bedroom.

INT. BEDROOM

AMY AND GRACE ARE WATCHING TV. MOLLY WALKS IN AND SERVES THEIR DRINKS AND CRAWLS IN BED. THE GIRLS SIP THEIR DRINKS.

GRACE

(Frowning)

I don’t want to watch TV anymore!

Grace hurls the TV remote across the room. Amy and Molly shudder and stare at Grace. Grace crawls over Amy and gets out of bed. She looks down upon Amy and Molly.

GRACE

(Annoyed)

Isn’t it ironic that both of your ex-husbands, two overt misogynists, assault two wholesome actresses on the same night?

(Looks calmly at her lovers, bend over and kisses their lips)

My honeys I don’t know how you two survived. However, I fear one day those animals are going to kill someone.

Amy and Molly sit quietly with blank stares on their faces. Finally, Amy breaks the silence.

AMY

Grace, you’re right, I know Molly and I are greatly relieved to have shed ourselves of those two violent goons.

Grace looks down upon Amy and Molly with a wide grin. The girls place their glasses on the table. Grace leans over Kisses Amy’s lips mightily and later kisses Molly’s. Amy and Molly climb out of bed. As Amy and Molly both become teary-eyed, Grace looks at them and begins to cry.

GRACE

Well, anyway, I’m happy you gals are free because I’m exceedingly grateful to have both of you as my own.

All three lovers lapse into a triple bear-hug.

EXT. LOS ANGELES SUPERIOR COURT – DAY

WALKING BRISKLY WITH A BRAZEN SWAGGER, CHIP WATTS AND BILL SHANE, BOTH GRINNING WIDELY AND WEARING DARK GLASSES, EXIT THE COURT WITH THEIR ATTORNEYS. THEY IMMEDIATELY BECOME SWARMED AND ENGULFED IN A SEA OF TV CAMERAS, NEWS REPORTERS AND PHOTOGRAPHERS. THE ACTORS TIPTOE THEIR WAY OVER TO A BANK OF MICROPHONES.

CHIP WATTS

(Waving to cameras)

Howdy folks, I’m happy to be extricated from my cell in the dungeon of hell. My dear family posted my bail and here I am. I’m looking forward to being vindicated at my trial. Thank you.

Chip waves and steps back. Bill steps up to the mike and waves to the cameras.

BILL SHANE

(Grinning)

Hello, out there. Yes, I’m back out in civilization and I want to thanks all of my fans for your well wishes and prayers. My lovely family posted my bail and I too will be vindicated at my trial, if it gets that far.

(Smirks)

Thank you. Are there any questions?

Noisy reporters shove and push each other while jostling for strategic positions. A heavy male reporter pushes his way up front near the mikes.

FIRST REPORTER

Chip, did you assault actress Bevy hack and her escort because of a jealous rage?

Chip wipes his forehead with a tissue.

CHIP

(Grinning)

Sir, as per my attorney, I can’t comment on the case. But, I will say this, anytime an actor falls in love with an alluring actress and he later discovers her snuggled deep in the arms of her leading man, off camera, then he’s an idiot if he believes her bogus deceptions and excuses.

Another heavyweight male reporter bulldozes his way up front near the mikes.

SECOND REPORTER

Bill, I understand you and Chip have previous violent incidents whereas you guys assaulted your female companions. Is that true?

Bill glares at the reporter and gives him the finger.

BILL

Let me hear from an intelligent reporter.

A heavy female reporter thrusts herself up near the mikes.

THIRD REPORTER

Bill, don’t become angry but I have a question that I know you can answer. I’m an obese lesbian and I’ve heard that many Hollywood leading men, you and Chip included, are nothing less than blood-boiling misogynists. In addition, it is alleged you and Chip are particularly perturbed and unglued because actress Grace Graham happen to be romancing you guys ex-wives. Is there any truth to any of this?

Bill ignores the reporter’s question and walks away from the mike. Chip grimaces, steps up to the mike and points a demanding finger at the obese, female reporter.

CHIP

(Upset)

Grace graham? Is she still alive? I thought she had expired! Now give me a real question because none of you morons have asked an intelligent one yet.

FOURTH reporter

Chip, either one of you can answer my question. Rumor has it that your names are floating around as possible suspects in the bombing of Edith Crane Village. Have the authorities contacted you guys and if so, could you shed some light on the investigation?

Chip turns around, glares at Bill and they both nod to each other and angrily walk away from the mikes. The reporters are still posing questions as Bill and Chip leap into a waiting limo and drive away.

INT. MOTION PICTURES ASSOCIATION – DAY

IN THE POSH BOARDROOM, PAUL LAMB, PRESIDENT OF THE MOTION PICTURES ASSOCIATION, SITS AT THE HEAD OF A LONG, MAHOGANY TABLE. BOARD MEMBERS SIT ALONG THE SIDES OF THE TABLE. ACTOR CHIP WATTS AND BILL SHANE SIT ON THE SIDE LAUGHING AND CHATTING AMONG THEMSELVES.

PAUL

Come to order, gentlemen. Board members, I had the unpleasant duty of calling this session for the distinct purpose of reviewing and determining the continuation of movie contracts binding between Mr. Chip Watts, Mr. Bill Shane and Bristol Brothers Movie Studio. I see both actors are present without counsels and I will proceed by opening the floor for comments and proposals from the board. Afterward, Mr. Watts and Mr. Shane will have a chance to offer their sentiments if they wish.

All board members peruse copies of the actors’ contracts and their pending criminal charges. The president calls on the first board member.

PAUL

Mr. Ben Wise you have the floor.

ben wise

Good afternoon board members, Mr. Watts, and Mr. Shane. President Lamb, I notice the actors are sitting without copies of their contracts and without representatives. Do they have copies of their contracts and have they sought representations?

paul

Yes, they both have copies of their contracts but they’ve chosen not to peruse them at this time. For the record, let it be known that for personal reasons, both actors have also declined any representation from the guild.

ben

Thank you Mr. President, I’ll cut through the chase and refer to page two, paragraph three, section two.

Loud mumbling is heard from board member Peter Levy.

PAUL

What is it, Mr. Levy?

PETER LEVY

(Frowning)

Mr. President, I just feel we should postpone this session and afford these young men to obtain counsels.

paul

(Annoyed)

Mr. Levy, these respondents aren’t infantile nor do they lack intelligence. All of their rights have been diligently explained to them. Ben, you may proceed.

BEN (cont.)

(Annoyed)

As I was saying; whereas it cites, “no actor or actress shall commit any crimes, public lewdness, public discord or any other immoral conduct which tend to impose or saturate shame upon any motion picture association studio or the motion picture association itself.” Mr. President, although Mr. Watts and Mr. Shane have not been convicted of their latest cycle of serious crimes against two women and one male and the accumulative regression from sane conduct, leave me no choice but to recommend their dismissal from the motion picture industry without undo delay.

Chip and Bill become nervous and antsy in their seats. Bill drops his pen to the floor and chip breaks out in a sweat.

PAUL

Do any other board members have remarks to add?

Carl Abrams raises his hand and speaks.

CARL ABRAMS

Mr. President, I like both of these fine actors, but I’m afraid they’ve become too arrogant and violent.

Both actors pull out handkerchiefs and wipe their brows. Chip goes to the water fountain and slurps heartily.

PAUL

Does anyone else have a remark?

John Clark raises his hand and speaks.

JOHN CLARK

(Agitated)

Mr. President If I’m in order, I make a motion that Mr. Watts and Mr. Shane be immediately suspended from the movie industry for no less than one year.

A deafening hush engulfs the room. The actors hold their own as many of the boards members gaze at them with pity.

PAUL

Members, you heard the motion, what’s your pleasure?

ben

Mr. President, I second the motion.

paul

It has been motioned and seconded that Mr. Chip Watts and Mr. Bill Shane be suspended from the movie industry for no less than one year. All not ready please utter your objection.

Peter Levy raises his hand.

PETER LEVY

Mr. President, we never take into consideration that on many occasions, I’m sure many of our fine actors are provoked by these so-called angelic actresses. And I’ve heard that many actresses are as provocative as a clan of hungry jungle lioness. Yes, many of these devious actresses are forever toying with the emotion of our fine actors. And as a result, sparks flies and sometime the water of romance boil and rises to an unbearable temperature. So why should our fine actors always bear the brunt of these many overblown gripes. Perhaps dual fault should be assigned.

Frank Turner raises his hand and speaks.

FRANK TURNER

Mr. President, I agree with Peter Levy. This proceeding would’ve been fair and just if we could’ve quizzed some of these slippery prima donnas.

paul

Thank you both. But for now, board members it’s time to vote. All of those in favor of the motion please stand.

Carl Abrams, John Clark and Ben Wise stand as the president counts the votes. They resume their seats.

PAUL

All of those opposed have a similar right. Please stand.

Peter Levy and Frank Turner stand then resume their seats.

PAUL

The motion has passed. Mr. Shane and Mr. Watts please stand.

Shane and Watts rise staring stone-faced at the president.

PAUL

Mr. Chip Watts and Mr. Bill Shane, according to a fair ballot conducted within the walls of this legendary edifice by this illustrious membership, you both have been suspended from the movie industry for no less than one year. Do either one of you have any remarks?

Chip wipes tears from his eyes.

CHIP

No sir.

Bill wipes tears from his eyes.

BILL

No sir.

paul

Well gentlemen you’re to stay clear of all motion venues at the risk of being permanently ousted from the industry.

PAUL (cont’d)

Please do not interfere with the social freedom of any actresses, on or off the set. You have ninety days to appeal. Good day and this ends this session.

Perturbed actors Chip and Bill hurry from the meeting; they’re followed by agitated Frank Turner and Peter Levy.

INT. HLWD CABLE TV NEWS STUDIO – DAY

LOLA STREET

This is HLWD Cable TV News Correspondent, Lola Street bringing you the news. Los Angeles, Hollywood and the world was shocked to learn that the motion picture industry has sacked and suspended heartthrob actors, Chip Watts and Bill Shane for no les than one year. To many in the Hollywood circle, the actors’ severe punishments were long overdue. Not to be forgotten, both actors still have criminal charges pending against them. Its alleged Watts violently assaulted actress Bevy hack and her actor-friend; while Shane is alleged to have attacked and assaulted his companion, actress Kitty Taylor. That’s a brief update for now and I’ll see you on the five o’clock news.

INT. BUSINESS AREA – MILAN STEAKHOUSE - DAY

IN THE CROWED STEAKHOUSE, GRACE, AMY AND MOLLY DINE AT A TABLE NEAR THE WINDOW. A TRIO PLAYS SOFT MUSIC AS THE ACTRESSES COMPLETE THEIR MEAL. GRACE IS TELLING SEXY JOKES WHEN THEY HEAR FOUR LOUD SHOT CRASHING THROUGH THE WINDOW. THE WOMEN UNLEASH PIERCING SCREAMS AND DIVE TO THE FLOOR AMID SHOWERING SHARDS OF FLYING GLASS. TABLES ARE OVERTURNED AND THE BARTENDER, WAITERS, PATRONS AND MANAGER ARE ALL SCREAMING AS THEY CROUCH ON THE FLOOR. FROM THE FLOOR, A YOUNG WAITER REACHES INTO HIS POCKET, GRABS HIS CELL PHONE, DIALS 911 AND YELLS INTO THE PHONE.

YOUNG WAITER

Milan steak House, shots fired! Shots fired, send police! Send help! Please, please send the police!

EXT. FRONT OF MILAN STEAKHOUSE – DAY

SQUADS OF POLICE VEHICLES WITH BLARING SIRENS AND FLASHING EMERGENCY LIGHTS SCREECH TO A HALT IN FRONT OF THE STEAKHOUSE. COPS LEAP OUT OF THEIR CARS WITH GUNS DRAWN AND DASH CAUTIOUSLY INTO THE STEAKHOUSE.

INT. STEAKHOUSE - DAY

STEP BY STEP, THE TENSE POLICE OFFICERS SLOWLY SCAN THE EERIE, SILENT STEAKHOUSE, SEARCHING FOR A GUNMAN OR GUNMEN, AS FRIGHTENED EMPLOYEES AND PATRONS BECOME AWARE OF THE RESCUING MEN IN BLUE.

FIRST POLICE OFFICER ON SCENE

(Yelling)

All right, nobody moves! Who’s the manager? Manager, whoever you are, stand up very, very slowly, while placing your hands on top of your head.

Lying face up in the middle of the floor near an overturned table, a middle-aged black woman raises her hand and screams.

MIDDLED-AGED WOMAN

Officers, don’t shoot, please don’t shoot! I am the manager and my name is LILLY MAE THOMAS!

A female cop dashes over to the woman and pats her down for weapons. After finding no weapons, the female cop grabs the woman’s hand and pulls her up from the floor.

FEMALE POLICE OFFICER

(Sternly)

Lady, you’re the manager?

manager

(Nervously)

Yes, officer, I am the manager of Milan Steakhouse! My name is Lillie Mae Thomas!

FEMALE POLICE OFFICER

Well Ms. Thomas, please show me a picture I.D.; we just want to make sure who we’re talking to.

Lillie Mae, 50, reaches into her apron pocket and pulls out a picture I.D. and presents it to the officer. After inspecting the I.D. the officer gives it back to the manager. The satisfied officer nods approvingly to her colleagues. The other officers slowly walk about the steakhouse glaring keenly at every person lying on the floor.

FIRST POLICE OFFICER

Manager Thomas, I want you to scan the area; look closely at all of the persons lying on the floor and see if you can account for all of them either as patrons or employees.

With their guns drawn, the first officer and the female officer escort the manager about the entire steakhouse as she carefully scrutinizes each person lying on the floor. Finally the manager smiles at the officers.

MANAGER

Yes, officers, I’ve seen all of these people; they are patrons and employees.

The officers express sighs of relief.

FEMALE POLICE OFFICER

Okay Ms. Thomas stand to the side.

Manager Thomas steps to the side.

FIRST POLICE OFFICER

(Yelling)

Okay, all of you folks on the floor, we’re the police and we’re here for your safety! I want each of you to rise slowly, placing both hands on top of your heads.

While holding their guns at the ready, a squad of police officers wanders over to the patrons and employees; the cops begin patting them down. One officer notices two women still lying on the floor near the window bleeding profusely. He yells out.

SECOND POLICE OFFICER

I got two women down over here!

Two officers run over to the yelling officer. The officers kneel down and check the women’s pulses. They shake their heads sadly.

WITH PENS AND PADS IN THEIR HANDS, OTHER OFFICERS BEGIN QUESTIONING EMPLOYEES AND PATRONS, AS CHIEF OF DETECTIVES MIKE SIMMONS DASHES THROUGH THE DOOR, CLOSELY TRAILED BY TWO STREAKING AMBULANCE ATTENDANTS. TWO OFFICERS DIRECT THE ATTENDANTS TO THE TWO WOUNDED WOMEN LYING ON THE FLOOR NEAR THE WINDOW.

THE ATTENDANTS KNEEL AND CHECK THE WOMEN’S VITAL SIGNS, LOOK UP AT THE OFFICERS ON THE SCENE AND NOD THEIRS HEAD NEGATIVELY.

NOW JOINED BY DETECTIVES BRIAN WEST, 38, AND DARIUS COLE, 37, CHIEF SIMMONS CALLS THE FIRST OFFICER ON THE SCENE TO THE SIDE AND INTERVIEWS HIM.

CHIEF SIMMONS AND HIS DETECTIVES INTERVIEW THE MANAGER. THE FIRST OFFICER ON THE SCENE WALKS OVER TO THE CHIEF.

CHIEF SIMMONS

Officer, it appears the bullets crashed through the window. Two of the patrons are deceased; were they dining alone?

first officer

Chief, that lady standing near the door is actress, Grace Graham; she was dining with the two deceased women when the shots crashed through the window.

EXT. STREET IN FRONT OF STEAKHOUSE – DAY

THE STREET IS BLOCKED OFF, LONG, YELLOW TAPE BLOCKS OFF THE CRIME SCENE AREA. A LARGE THRONG OF GAWKING ONLOOKERS STANDS ACROSS THE STREET. TWO DETECTIVES STAND IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET EXAMINING SHELL CASING.

DETECTIVE CASEY

(To his partner)

Well, we know that a 9-mm was the choice of weapon used by the perpetrator or perpetrators.

A neatly attired black man, 25, standing across the street from the steakhouse calls out to the detectives.

YOUNG BLACK MAN

Hey, detectives, may I speak to you? I may have some vital information.

Ace Detective, RON CASEY, 40 and Ace Detective, ABE BRADSHAW, 45, walk over to the young man and lead him away from the growing throng.

DETECTIVE BRADSHAW

Yes, young man. What’s your name and what vital information do you have?

The young man scratches his head in puzzlement. Detective Casey begins to write.

YOUNG MAN

Sir, my name is TRAVIS O’HARA, 25. I was walking across the street at the time of the shooting. I saw this black car speeding up the street when suddenly it came to a screeching halt. Then, two individuals in black suits and hats, I think they were men, leaped out of a black SUV and fired four or five shots into the steakhouse.

Detective Casey stops writing and looks up curiously at O’Hara.

DETECTIVE CASEY

Mr. O’Hara, what happened next?

o’hara

They simply jumped back into their SUV and sped away. It really irked me that those goons were both grinning.

The detectives’ eyes meet as they shake their heads in shock.

DETECTIVE BRADSHAW

Mr. O’Hara, previously, you stated you thought the individuals were possibly men. Why aren’t you sure?

O’Hara scratches his head and gives a slight smirk.

O’HARA

It’s just that, when they ran, they ran like women, rather than men; and they moved their hands in an effeminate manner. I know effeminate traits when I see them; I have six sisters.

Detectives Casey and Bradshaw smile.

DETECTIVE CASEY

Again, how were they dressed?

o’hara

Sir, as I stated, they were both attired in black suits and black hats and they had petite features. Do you know what I mean?

detective bradshaw

Yes, Mr. O’Hara, we know exactly what you mean. Do you think you can recognize those individuals if you saw them again?

o’hara

Without a doubt, I could never forget their brazen, facial expressions. And I can I.D. the SUV as well.

detective casey

Thanks Mr. O’Hara, we’ll be in touch.

INT. MILAN STEAKHOUSE – DAY

CHIEF SIMMONS INTERVIEWS GRACE GRAHAM; SHE STANDS ALONE, HEAD BOWED, STILL SOBBING; CHIEF SIMMONS GENTLY PLACES HIS HAND UPON HER SHOULDER.

CHIEF SIMMONS

Ms. Graham, I’m sorry for all that has happened and your terrible loss.

(Turns to Detective Cole)

Please get Ms. Graham a glass of water.

The detective goes behind the counter and retrieves a glass of water. He walks back and gives the water to Chief Simmons. The Chief gives the water to Grace. Grace takes a couple of sips and passes the glass to Detective Cole.

CHIEF SIMMONS

Ms. Graham, give me your friends names.

Grace looks up into Chief Simmons’ eyes. She reaches toward a nearby counter and retrieves tissues.

GRACE GRAHAM

(Wiping her eyes)

Their names are Amy Ross and Molly Bellamy. Yes, and I might as well tell you, we were lovers.

Chief Simmons exchanges glances with his detectives.

DETECTIVE WEST

Ms. Graham, I want you try and recall, can you think of anyone who wanted to harm you or your deceased lovers?

Grace stares at the ceiling for a long spell before answering.

GRACE

(Dabbing at her eyes)

No, Detective, I can’t think of anyone.

Chief Simmons shakes his head in disbelief.

CHIEF SIMMONS

Now, come on Ms. Graham, I lend my professional expertise in homicide investigation all over the land and I know as a controversial figure in the erection of Edith Crane Village, there must be someone who has expressed strong resentment to your efforts.

Grace becomes angry. She stares at Chief Simmons and replies, coldly.

GRACE

No, there’s no one!

detective cole

Ms. Graham, while dining near the window with your lovers, you had a clear vision to the street. Did you see anything or anybody suspicious, on the street or perhaps in a car?

Grace glares coldly into detective Cole’s eyes and replies.

GRACE

No!

Chief Simmons hands Grace his business card.

CHIEF SIMMONS

All right Ms. Graham, here’s my card; call me should you recall anything that may be helpful in capturing your lovers’ killer or killers.

Grace accepts the card and walks away; the chief calls.

CHIEF SIMMONS

Oh, Ms. Graham, in view of your recent loss, I think you’re in great danger. I must assign you police protection.

Grace glares at the chief.

GRACE

(Annoyed)

Chief Simmons, that won’t be necessary; I’m a big girl and I can take care of myself.

Grace exits the steakhouse as Chief Simmons joins the rest of his investigators.

INT. CATHY WRIGHT’S RESIDENCE – PARLOR - DAY

BLACK ACTRESS CATHY WRIGHT, 26, SITS ON A SOFA NEXT TO BLACK ACTRESS, GWEN AMES, 27. THE GIRLS SIP BEER AND EAT POTATO CHIPS WHILE LISTENING TO SOFT JAZZ. CATHY LOOKS AT HER WATCH AND NOTICES IT’S TIME FOR THE NEWS.

CATHY WRIGHT

Hey Gwen it’s time for the news; let’s see what’s going on in the world.

gwen ames

Yeah, good idea, I’ll turn off the music.

Gwen walks over to the cabinet and turns off the music player; Cathy uses the remote and turns the TV on.

INT. HLWD CABLE TV NEWS STUDIO – DAY

TV NEWS CORRESPONDENT LOLA STREET SITS AT HER NEWS DESK BEFORE TV CAMERAS PRESENTING THE NEWS.

LOLA STREET

Good afternoon, I’m Lola Street bringing you the latest news. This afternoon in Los Angeles, the Hollywood community was profoundly shocked and saddened upon learning of the untimely death of two of its most gifted actresses, Amy Ross and Molly Bellamy.

LOLA STREET (cont’d)

While dining in a Los Angeles steakhouse with actress Grace Graham, shots were fired through the window; Amy and Molly were mortally wounded by person or persons unknown. At this time, police have no suspects and the investigation continues.

INT. CATHY WRIGHT’S RESIDENCE – PARLOR - DAY

AFTER HEARING OF AMY AND MOLLY DEATHS, CATHY AND GWEN SIT IN SHOCK ON THE EDGE OF THE SOFA. THEY CRY OUT IN EMOTIONAL PAIN.

CATHY

(Wipes eyes with tissues)

Oh, my God, Gwen, someone murdered our friends! What are we going to do?

Gwen slides down onto the floor, sobbing.

GWEN

Oh God, Cathy, we’ve got to do something! Let’s go over to Grace’s apartment to comfort her and offer our heartfelt support.

INT. BRISTOL BROTHERS MOVIE STUDIO – LATE AFTERNOON

IN HIS OFFICE, PRODUCER PETER LEVY SITS AT HIS DESK TALKING WITH PRODUCER FRANK TURNER, WHO SITS ACROSS FROM HIM. A KNOCK IS HEARD AT THE DOOR.

PETER LEVY

Come in.

Both producers are surprised as suspended actors, Bill Shane and Chip Watts enter the office.

PETER

(Annoyed)

You guys are suspended; you must leave!

Bill and Chip shrug their shoulders sheepishly.

CHIP

Sir, Bill and I didn’t mean to put you guys on the spot. However, we sneaked into your office to offer our thanks for your support.

bill

Gentlemen, I too say thanks for your loyal support and we’ll be back to work in one year. Oh yeah, and during our absence from the movie industry, we promise to keep our nose clean.

Peter and Frank shake the actors’ hands.

FRANK

Okay, fellows, we understand. Guys, just let me say with sadness, Peter and I heard of your recent divorces; we’re terribly sorry and we offer our lingering, heartfelt support and empathy.

chip

I say thanks to both of you; it’s so appreciated.

bill

That goes for me as well and may God bless both of you.

peter

I was going to walk frank downstairs, so we can all go down together. If you guys are seen in the building more trouble will loom over your heads.

The gentlemen exit the office.

EXT. SIDEWALK IN FRONT OF BRISTOL BROTHERS MOVIE STUDIO - DAY

WE SEE PETER AND FRANK CHATTING WITH CHIP AND BILL.

EXT.BUILDING ACROSS THE STREET FROM BRISTOL BROTHERS MOVIE STUDIO - DAY

TEDDY GRAVES AND GARY PORTER EXIT THE BUILDING. TEDDY LOOKS ACROSS THE STREET AND SPOTS THE PRODUCERS CHATTING WITH BILL AND CHIP. GARY AND TEDDY STEP BACK INSIDE THE BUILDING’S ENTRANCE AND OBSERVE THE MEN.

EXT. FRONT OF BRISTOL BROTHERS MOVIE STUDIO – DAY

CHIP AND BILL SHAKE PRODUCERS LEVY AND TURNER’S HANDS. CHIP AND BILL WALK AWAY DOWN THE STREET.

EXT. ACROSS THE STREET FROM BRISTOL BROTHERS MOVIE STUDIO - DAY

TEDDY

Gary, something seems real fishy about Chip and Bill. I mean they’re suspended from the motion picture industry for one year, yet I observed them exiting Bristol Brothers Movie Studio. That building is off limits to both of them.

Gary rubs his chin and ponders Teddy’s remarks.

GARY

(Puzzled, speaking slowly)

Yeah, man, now I got your drift; I never thought of that.

teddy

Well, and another thing, Gary, both of their ex-wives were shot and killed today. Do you think that’s a coincidence? Don’t forget these characters are misogynists and they’re criminally documented as violent women bashers. They may have killed their ex-wives or had them executed by a hired gunman or gunmen.

Gary rubs his chin and again he ponders Teddy’s remarks.

GARY

(Puzzled, speaking slowly)

Yeah, man, now I got your drift; I never thought of that.

Gary and Teddy walk down the street.

INT. LOS ANGELES POLICE PRECINCT – DAY

CHIEF SIMMONS SITS AT HIS DESK IN HIS OFFICE. HIS FEET ARE PROPPED ON THE DESK; HE SMOKES A LONG CIGAR. DETECTIVES CASEY, BRADSHAW, WEST AND COLE SIT IN CHAIRS AROUND HIM. THEY’RE DISCUSSING THE INVESTIGATION OF THE TWO MURDERED ACTRESSES.

CHIEF SIMMONS

MEN, HERE’S WHAT WE GOT. WE HAVE TWO DIVORCED ACTRESSES WHO WERE WHACKED BY PERSON OR PERSONS UNKNOWN.

CHIEF SIMMONS (cont’d)

Amy and Molly were once married to violent men, Chip Watts and Bill Shane, who are known to have assaulted their wives on many occasions. We know the decedents were later involved in a three-way lesbian affair with actress Grace Graham. Now, Grace Graham is the CEO of Edith Crane Village housing development, yet to be opened. As you know the development was dynamited not long ago. Guys, my gut feeling tells me that Grace Graham has enemies out there. Therefore, I believe she was the real target at the steakhouse execution, not the poor victims. Detective Bradshaw, give us an update on what your witness disclosed to you and detective Casey.

DETECTIVE BRADSHAW

Chief, witness Travis O’Hara stated that from across the street from the steakhouse, he saw the two gunmen firing shots into the steakhouse. And according to O’Hara, the gunmen could’ve possibly been women.

Chief Simmons snatches his feet down from the desk and slings his cigar across the room.

CHIEF SIMMONS

(Yelling)

That’s it, detectives! Damn it! We’re going to solve these two murders and soon! Detective Casey, why does the witness thinks the perpetrators were possibly women?

detective casey

The witness claimed the perpetrators ran and moved their hands in an effeminate manner; he said he knows effeminate maneuvers when he sees them because he has six sisters.

Chief Simmons and the detectives all break out in laughter.

CHIEF SIMMONS

Gentlemen, that’s it. Here’s what we’re going to do. Detective Casey and Bradshaw, I want you to go and re-interview witness O’Hara. Afterward, I want you to go Bristol Brothers Movie Studio; nosy around and learn who Grace Graham’s previous lover or lovers were. Maybe she spurned a lover or two and perhaps a revengeful death was the order of the day. Cole and West, you’ll notify Fire Chief Roy Belmont; he and his men can work with us on solving the bombing of Edith Crane Village. Obviously, the murders and the bombing are related. By the way, check out those ex-husbands, Chip Watts and Bill Shane.

EXT. BRISTOL BROTHERS MOVIE STUDIO – PARKING LOT – DAY

DETECTIVES CASEY AND BRADSHAW STAND AT THE ENTRANCE OF THE PARKING LOT INTERVIEWING ATTENDANT, CLAUDE NELSON, A STREET SAVVY BLACK MALE, 30.

DETECTIVE CASEY

We’re investigating a double homicide and I believe you can help us. Claude, how long have you worked here as a parking lot attendant?

claude

Seven years.

detective casey

Then you know practically everybody employed here, don’t you?

claude

(Confidently)

Certainly, I know everybody, barring none.

detective bradshaw

Well, that’s excellent, Claude. You see, we’re interested in actress, Grace Graham. Do you know her?

Claude’s face lights up; he reaches over on top of a car, grabs a bottle of soda and gulps it down

CLAUDE

(Confidently)

Certainly I know her; and to the surprise of most movie goers, they would be surprised to learn that she’s a no-nonsense lesbian.

The detectives’ eyes light-up.

DETECTIVE CASEY

That’s good. Claude, you’re doing great. Prior to Amy Ross and Molly Bellamy, do you happen to know who Grace Graham’s female lover was?

claude

Did you say lover? No, you’re badly mistaken, sir, you meant to say her lovers. You see, Grace Graham is a legend and she’s known for always wooing two gals, simultaneously.

detective bradshaw

Well then, Claude, can you give us the names of Grace’s prior lovers?

claude

Oh, sure, that’ll be MAMIE DELL PICKENS, 30, and RUTH BEBE CRAMER, 28. And yeah, Mamie and Ruth exploded with anger when Grace dropped them for Amy and Molly.

detective casey

Where’s there car? It’s an SUV, right?

claude

It’s not here at the moment, but it will be here next week, because that’s when the ladies are scheduled to begin shooting a movie.

Detective Casey pats Claude on the back.

DETECTIVE CASEY

Thanks Claude, you’ve been most helpful and you’re an outstanding citizen. And in the future, if we can be of any assistance to you, please stop by the precinct.

EXT. DETECTIVES’ SQUAD CAR – DAY

INT. DETECTIVE BRADSHAW DRIVES SQUAD CAR – DAY

DETECTIVE BRADSHAW DRIVES ALONG THE STREETS WHILE TALKING WITH DETECTIVE CASEY. THEY SCAN THE AREA LOOKING FOR THE SUSPECTS’ BLACK SUV.

DETECTIVE BRADSHAW

Casey, let’s drive by the suspects’ residence and speak to their neighbors.

detective casey

That’s a great idea. Let’s go.

EXT.A LARGE PRIVATE HOUSE ACROSS THE STREET FROM A PARKING LOT – MORNING

DETECTIVES BRADSHAW AND CASEY STEP UP ON THE PORCH. DETECTIVE BRADSHAW KNOCKS ON THE DOOR OF THE SUSPECTS’ NEXT DOOR NEIGHBOR. AN ELDERLY, HEAVYSET LADY ANSWERS THE DOOR; SHE LIMPS WITH A CANE.

HEAVYSET LADY

Yes, what do you boys want? I hope you’re not selling anything.

Both detectives smile.

DETECTIVE CASEY

No, we’re not salesmen. We’re detectives.

The woman limps over to the edge of the porch and unleashes tobacco spit. She turns around limps back and looks the detectives in their eyes.

HEAVYSET LADY

Now, boys, this old bag isn’t crazy, no, not yet. Detectives, you did say you’re detectives? If you’re detectives, they gave you sleuths I.D., didn’t they?

detective bradshaw

Yes, you’re so right.

Both detectives hurriedly reach into their jacket pockets; pluck out their badges with I.D., as the old lady closely inspects them both.

HEAVYSEY LADY

Detectives, I’m thoroughly satisfied. Now, what do you want?

detective casey

(Smiling)

Well, Ms., we’re interested in two of your next door, Mamie Dell Pickens and Ruth Bebe Cramer.

heavyset lady

(Frowning)

Oh, those two nasty turncoats? By the way, my name is MISSY, MISSY JANE CALLOWAY.

The Detectives offer pleasing smiles.

DETECTIVE BRADSHAW

Missy, oh such a beautiful name. Missy, why do you refer to the ladies as turncoats?

Using her cane, Missy points to the house next door. She now becomes sassy; leans her cane against the wall and places her hands on her hips.

MISSY JANE CALLOWAY

Let me tell you; first of all, I knew those two snot-noses when they were knee-high to a grasshopper! But now that they’re mere character actresses, they think they’re too famous to speak to little old me or the rest of their neighbors!

detective casey

Do you know of a Ms. Grace Graham?

Missy grabs her can limps over to the edge of the porch and again spits tobacco juice over the railing.

MISSY JANE

(Sarcastically)

Do I know her? Before Grace dropped those sluts next door for Amy and Molly, she practically lived next door. Grace is just as weird as the little sluts next door, if you know what I mean.

detective bradshaw

Missy, what type of car do the ladies drive?

Missy points to the parking lot across the street.

MISSY JANE

They drive a black, late-model SUV; there it is, parked across the street in the parking lot.

detective casey

Missy, have you noticed anything strange or peculiar about Mamie, Ruth or their car?

Missy limps over to the edge of the porch and spits tobacco juice. She limps back to the detectives, remembers something and raises her finger.

MISSY JANE

Oh, yes. Yesterday afternoon, I saw something peculiar in the parking lot. Those two hussies never wear their movie costumes in public, but yesterday, as they exit the SUV, they both wore black men’s suits and black hats. I thought that was rather peculiar. Okay, boys, I must go now, I’m expecting my lover in a few minutes and she’ll be quite angry to find you handsome studs eyeing me.

The detectives’ eyes meet; they’re shocked at Missy’s remark.

DETECTIVE BRADSHAW

Missy, you said, she’ll be quiet angry, but you meant to say, he’ll be quiet angry, am I correct?

missy JANE

(Stern)

No, you’re wrong! Detective Bradshaw, you’ve interviewed me for a few minutes and if you noticed, I didn’t stutter or stumble. Thus, sir, I always say what I mean and mean what I say and detectives, my lover Linda Bates, will arrive shortly. Good day gentlemen.

Missy limps slowly toward the door, turns and winks at the detectives and enters the house. Detectives Casey and Bradshaw wave to Missy as they walk off the porch shaking their heads and laughing.

EXT. CHIP WATTS’ RESIDENCE – PORCH – AFTERNOON

DETECTIVE WEST AND COLE CHIP WALK UP UPON THE PORCH OF CHIP WATT’S HOME. WATTS AND BILL SHANE SIT ON THE PORCH PLAYING CARDS WITH TWO, YOUNG, LOVELY BLONDES. DETECTIVES WEST AND COLE DISPLAY THEIR BADGES AND I.D. TO THE GROUP.

DETECTIVE WEST

Good afternoon folks, I’m Detective West.

(Points to his partner)

And this is my partner, Detective Cole. Mr. Shane and Mr. Watts, we would like to ask you and Mr. Shane a few questions.

Watts and Shane refuse to look up or stop playing cards.

CHIP WATTS

(Stoic)

Go ahead, we’re listening.

detective cole

Mr. Watts, where were you yesterday afternoon, around two o’clock?

Chip continues playing cards.

CHIP

(Smirk)

I was inside with my girl, TESSIE; she sits right across from me.

detective cole

Tessie, can you vouch for Mr. Watts being with you yesterday afternoon?

Tessie continues playing cards.

TESSIE

(Smiles)

Certainly I can; I had him in bed between the sheets for hours; that’s why he’s so weak now.

Tessie and her crew all laugh loudly. The detectives look at them with disgust.

DETECTIVE WEST

Mr. Shane, where were you yesterday afternoon, around two o’clock?

Bill Shane continues playing cards.

BILL SHANE

(Smirk)

Oh, that’s easy; I was in the very next bed, with my darling, BELINDA; she sits across from me.

detective west

Belinda, Yeah, I know, you can vouch for Bill being with you yesterday afternoon, right?

Belinda continues playing cards.

BELINDA

That’s right, copper, and if you hang around for a moment, we’ll dismiss ourselves, enter the house and duplicate our sexual marathon of yesterday.

Chip and Bill finally look up at the detectives with evil, menacing scowls.

CHIP

Coppers, we don’t know what you’re digging for, but whatever it is, you won’t find it here! So, no more questions!

bill

(Angry)

That’s right; get the hell away from us! We’re familiar with our rights; and by the way, next time you decide to cruise by, fetch yourselves a warrant!

EXT. PARKING LOT ACROSS FROM MISSY’S RESIDENCE – AFTERNOON

DETECTIVES BRADSHAW AND CASEY INSPECT THE BLACK SUV. DETECTIVE CASEY WALKS AROUND TO THE REAR OF THE SUV AND DISCOVERS TWO BLACK MEN’S HAT LYING ON THE BACKSEAT. HE CALLS DETECTIVE BRADSHAW.

DETECTIVE CASEY

(EXCITED, SMILING)

Hey, partner, you better take a look at this.

Detective Bradshaw rushes to the rear. Detective Casey points to the black hats on the backseat.

DETECTIVE BRADSHAW

(Excited, smiling)

Yep, that’s it! Partner, I think we have enough data to substantiate probable cause for a search warrant.

EXT. LONG BRANCH CEMETERY – DAY

IN A DOUBLE BURIAL CEREMONY, AMY’S AND MOLLY’S CASKETS SIT SIDE BY SIDE OVER THEIR GRAVES. THEIR WEEPING FAMILIES SIT UP FRONT. GRACE, CATHY WRIGHT, GWEN AMES, AND A GROUP OF OTHER ACTORS AND FRIENDS STAND BEHIND THE FAMILIES. EX-HUSBANDS CHIP WATTS AND BILL SHANE ARE ABSENT. TWO PRIESTS SPRINKLE FLOWERS ON THE CASKETS. AS ATTENDANTS LOWER BOTH CASKETS THE FAMILIES AND FRIENDS BEGIN TO WALK AWAY.

INT. LOS ANGELES POLICE PRECINCT – DAY

CHIEF SIMMONS SITS AT HIS DESK CONSOLIDATING A MURDER AND BOMBING INVESTIGATION WITH DETECTIVES AND FIRE MARSHALS FROM THE FIRE DEPARTMENT.

CHIEF SIMMONS

Okay, folks, based upon all of the creditable witnesses and evidence uncovered by Detectives Bradshaw and Casey, we’ve concluded the persons who bombed Edith Crane Village are the same sadistic goons who murdered Amy Ross and Molly Bellamy. They’re actresses, Mamie Dell Pickens and Ruth Bebe Cramer. Since the arson and homicide were probably committed by these creeps, it was most fitting to form an inter-department task force. Now, Detective Bradshaw, Fire Marshal Ed Monroe and Detective PEG WATERS will team up. Detective Casey, Fire Marshal Payne and Detective TRUDY LAKE will be partners. Lastly, Detectives West and Cole will assist the two groups.

CHIEF SIMMONS (cont’d)

Casey, your team will present your case to the court and procure a search warrant for the suspects’ vehicle and their residence.

INT. GRACE GRAHAM’S RESIDENCE – NIGHT

GRACE STANDS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE PARLOR ADDRESSING A GROUP OF MOURNERS, ALL ACTRESSES, WHO SIT ABOUT THE PARLOR, KITCHEN AND BEDROOM.

GRACE

I sincerely thank all of you for coming and lending your love and support. Yes, today at Long Branch Cemetery, I said farewell to my two loves, Amy and Molly. You know, shortly after their untimely demise, I seemed angry with the whole world. After a tour of intense soul searching, I found myself totally devoid of any anger. Now I am at peace with myself and the world. My internal peace has surface because I decided to unload all of my prior woes into the omnipotent hands of the Grand Geometrician of the universe. I have faith in him and already my savior has consoled my burdensome heart.

(Smiling)

If I may, I want to enlighten you on a subject of interest to many of you. Repairs on Edith Crane Village are nearly completed. Our projection date for the grand opening is sometime within the next three weeks. You will be promptly notified. Again, I thank you for your love and support.

INT. LOS ANGELES SUPERIOR COURT – NIGHT

IN HIS CHAMBER, JUDGE BRANDON CLAY, 65, SITS AT HIS DESK PUFFING ON A CIGAR AND PERUSING AN APPLICATION FOR A SEARCH WARRANT. D.A. FRED CLIFF, 45, SITS ACROSS FROM HIM. FINALLY, JUDGE CLAY RISES FROM HIS DESK, WALKS SLOWLY AROUND HIS DESK, TAKES A SECOND LOOK AT THE WARRANT AND FINALLY PRESENTS IT TO D.A. CLIFF.

JUDGE BRANDON CLAY

Mr. D. A., the officers have presented sufficient information to substantiate probable cause in executing a search warrant. They may search the vehicle and the residence of the parties herein inscribed in the application. Finally, they may seize all evidence which tend to link the subjects to the crimes of arson and homicide, so cited.

d.A. FRED CLIFF

Thanks, your honor, I will present the warrant to the detectives right away.

EXT. RESIDENTIAL PARKING LOT – NIGHT

A DETECTIVE VEHICLE PULLS UP NEXT TO THE SUSPECTS’ BLACK SUV, BEARING CALIFORNIA PLATES: DWR 1941. FIRE MARSHALL MONROE, DETECTIVES BRADSHAW, AND WATERS EXIT THEIR CAR WITH LARGE SPOTLIGHTS. FIRE MARSHAL MONROE USES A SPECIAL DEVICE AND OPENS THE FRONT DOOR, DRIVER’S SIDE. DETECTIVE BRADSHAW SHINES HIS LIGHT INTO THE BACKSEAT AND DISCOVERS TWO BLACK MEN’S HATS. MARSHAL MONROE WALKS TO THE REAR OF THE VEHICLE FORCES OPEN THE TRUNK WITH A CROWBAR, SHINES THE LIGHT INTO THE TRUNK AND DISCOVERS TWO 9.MM GUNS. HE CALLS TO HIS PARTNERS.

FIRE MARSHAL MONROE

(Excited)

Waters and Bradshaw come here; I think we hit pay dirt!

They all stare into the trunk marveling over their find; all give a sigh of relief.

DETECTIVE PEG WATERS

Oh yeah, these gals are notorious; we have to take them off the street before someone else is killed.

detective bradshaw

You’re right Waters, you know, we have several plainclothes units guarding Grace Graham’s resident.

Detective Bradshaw walks in front of the SUV and flashes his spotlight three times. A tow truck drives up; the operator hooks up the SUV and drives it away to the police pound.

EXT. SUSPECTS’ RESIDENT – PRIVATE HOUSE – NIGHT

THE HOUSE IS PITCH-BLACK DARK. DETECTIVE CASEY, FIRE MARSHAL PAYNE AND DETECTIVE LAKE WALK LIGHTLY UPON THE SUSPECTS’ PORCH. DETECTIVE CASEY BANGS HARD ON THE DOOR AND RINGS THE BELL SEVERAL TIMES. AFTER GETTING NO RESPONSE, FIRE MARSHAL PAYNE BREAKS THE GLASS NEAR THE DOOR, TWISTING THE KNOB FROM THE INSIDE. WITH GUNS DRAWN, THE OFFICERS CAREFULLY ENTER THE HOUSE WITH FLASHLIGHTS.

INT. INSIDE THE SUSPECTS’ RESIDENT

THE OFFICERS METHODICALLY SEARCH THE KITCHEN, PARLOR, BATHROOM AND TWO BEDROOMS AND DISCOVER THE HOUSE IS BARE OF FURNITURE. DETECTIVE LAKE LOOKS INTO A CLOSET OFF THE BEDROOM AND DISCOVERS TWO BOXES CONTAINING DYNAMITE; SHE CALLS HER PARTNERS.

DETECTIVE TRUDY LAKE

Look, fellows, here are two boxes of dynamite.

Fire Marshal Payne and Detective Casey rush over.

FIRE MARSHAL PAYNE

(Frantic)

This is some dangerous stuff! Don’t touch it! Yes, the suspects seem to have taken off in a hurry and they even left their car, but removed the plates!

detective casey

Yeah, that’s because they know the SUV is hot; but I’m betting they’re driving some other jalopy.

FIRE MARSHAL PAYNE

So we had better get the hell out of here and call the bomb squad!

The officers dash outside and wait for the bomb squad.

LATER, WE SEE MEMBERS OF THE BOMB SQUAD AND OTHER POLICE OFFICERS ESCORTING THE RESIDENTS FROM THEIR HOMES FOR THEIR SAFETY.

INT. LOS ANGELES SUPERIOR COURT – DAY

IN HIS CHAMBER, JUDGE BRANDON CLAY SITS AT HIS DESK PERUSING AN APPLICATION FOR AN ARREST WARRANT. THE JUDGE RISES AND PRESENTS THE ARREST WARRANT TO THE D.A. CLIFF.

JUDGE CLAY

Mr. D.A., the application for an arrest warrant meets all of the criteria to execute an arrest warrant.

d. a. cliff

Thanks your honor.

EXT. SQUAD CAR - DAY

INT. DETECTIVES PATROL IN SQUAD CAR - DAY

ARMED WITH AN ARREST WARRANT, DETECTIVES BRADSHAW AND WATERS ALONG WITH FIRE MARSHAL MONROE SCOUT THE STREETS SEEKING MURDER SUSPECTS. WE SEE UNITS LISTENING TO AN ALARM FROM A POLICE DISPATCHER.

EXT. SQUAD CAR – DAY

INT. DETECTIVES PATROL IN SQUAD IN SQUAD CAR – DAY

DETECTIVES CASEY AND LAKE ALONG WITH FIRE MARSHALL PAYNE PATROL THE STREETS SEEKING MURDER SUSPECTS. WE SEE UNITS LISTENING TO AN ALARM FROM A POLICE DISPATCHER.

EXT. SQUAD CAR – DAY

INT. DETECTIVES PATROL IN SQUAD CAR – DAY

DETECTIVES WEST AND COLE PATROL THE STREETS SEEKING MURDER SUSPECTS. WE SEE THE UNITS LISTENING TO AN ALARM FROM A POLICE DISPATCHER

INT. POLICE HEADQUARTERS – DAY

WE SEE AND HEAR A FEMALE POLICE DISPATCHER SITTING AT HER CONSOLE DISPATCHING AN ALARM TO DETECTIVES; ALL DETECTIVE UNITS, BE ADVISED, TWO FEMALE SUSPECTS WANTED FOR MURDER AND ARSON WERE SEEN NEAR LEWIS AND BARKLEY, DRIVING A WHITE HONDA, TINTED WINDOWS, CALIFORNIA PLATES, DWR 1941; PROCEED WITH CAUTION.

EXT. SQUAD CAR – DAY

INT. DETECTIVE PATROL IN SQUAD CAR - DAY

WE SEE DETECTIVE CASEY AND HIS PARTNERS LISTENING TO THE POLICE ALARM. DETECTIVE CASEY LOOKS STRAIGHT AHEAD AND SPOTS THE SUSPECT’S WHITE, TINTED WINDOWS HONDA.

DETECTIVE CASEY

(Excited)

Damn it, there are those bastards! Hold on gang; I’m going to follow them for a moment! Lake, call the dispatcher!

Detective Lakes calls the dispatcher via police radio.

DETECTIVE LAKE

Central, this is Detective Squad Charlie, at Lewis and Barkley! We’re trailing the two female murder suspects! They’re driving a white, 2005 Honda Civic, tinted windows, California plates; DWR 1941!

INT. POLICE HEADQUARTERS – DAY

WE SEE A FEMALE DISPATCHER HER CONSOLE; SHE CONFIRMS THE SIGHTING OF MURDER SUSPECTS. ALL UNITS, BE ADVISED DETECTIVE SQUAD CHARLIE HAS SPOTTED TWO FEMALE MURDER SUSPECTS IN THE VICINITY OF LEWIS AND BARKLEY. SUSPECTS ARE DRIVING A WHITE, 2005 HONDA CIVIC, TINTED WINDOWS, CALIFORNIA PLATES; DWR 1941. PROCEED WITH CAUTION.

EXT. SQUAD CAR- MORNING

DETECTIVE CASEY AND HIS PARTNERS TRAIL THE MURDER SUSPECTS’ VEHICLE.

EXT. SUSPECTS’ CAR – WHITE HONDA – DAY

WE SEE THE SUSPECTS’ HONDA SUDDENLY SPEEDS UP.

DETECTIVE CASEY

(Angry, yells)

Okay guys, they’ve spotted us! Hold on! I’m going to try and pull these bastards over!

Detective Casey turns on the flashing lights and blows the siren. The Honda speeds up and makes a right turn onto a one way street, with a dead end. Detective Casey chases the Honda and he’s joined by Detective Bradshaw’s squad car and later by Detectives Cole and West’s squad car. At the end of the street at a brick wall, the Honda screeches to a halt. Three Squad cars block the Honda in. All of the officers and Fire Marshals pull out their guns and cautiously take cover behind their vehicles. Crouching down behind a vehicle, a frantic Detective Bradshaw yells to the suspects.

DETECTIVE BRADSHAW

(Ferocious)

Goddamn it, Mamie and Ruth, give it up! You aren’t going anywhere!

A long silence ensues. We hear the shrill sirens of approaching police vehicles. Suddenly, both front doors of the Honda fly open, two black female occupants leap out with blazing guns in their hands. The detectives and Fire Marshals return fire and both females fall to the ground, bleeding profusely. The detectives and Fire Marshals cautiously approach the wounded suspects and kick the guns from the wounded suspects’ hands. Detective West calls dispatcher via police radio. We hear the wailing sirens of police vehicles and ambulances racing to the crime scene as curious onlookers look on.

DETECTIVE WEST

(Frantic)

Central, we’ve got two females down and bleeding; dispatch an ambulance!

Detectives Lake and Waters search the suspects and handcuff both to stretchers as ambulance attendants load them into the ambulance. Chief Simmons and Fire Chief Belmont exit their car, look at the suspects and approach the Detectives and Fire Marshals.

CHIEF SIMMONS

(Smiling)

Good work officers; this is a conclusion meticulously executed according to the dictates of the police manual.

(Looks at Detective Casey and Bradshaw) But Detectives Casey and Bradshaw, I didn’t know the suspects were black. Well, the next time, at least indicate on your report the color of the suspect or suspects; this critical distinction can save the lives of cops and the citizenry.

Fire Chief Belmont pats Chief Simmons on the back.

FIRE CHIEF ROY BELMONT

(To Chief Simmons)

Well, anyway Chief Simmons, we got the creeps.

CHIEF SIMMONS

Yes, Chief Belmont and we removed two more guns from the street and last but not least, we’ve solved the bombing of Edith Crane Village and the Milan Steakhouse murders.

We see the ambulance speeding to the hospital and moments later, we see detectives inspecting the suspects’ white Honda.

TWO DAY LATER

INT. LAT TV NEWS STUDIO – MORNING

LAT TV NEWS CORRESPONDENT JANE ROSS SITS AT HER NEWS DESK BEFORE TV CAMERAS PRESENTING THE NEWS; SHE AWAITS HER CUE FROM HER DIRECTOR. MOMENTS LATER, THE DIRECTOR LOWERS HIS RIGHT HAND.

JANE ROSS

Good morning, I’m LAT TV News Correspondent Jane Ross bringing you an update of the morning news. Two renowned actresses were once rated among the top actresses in the business. They worked together, romanced together and finally in the rugged street of mayhem, the converted, female thugs, Mamie Dell Pickens and Ruth Bebe Cramer died together, being mowed down after engaging detectives and Fire Marshals in a fierce gun battle. The suspects were being sought in the bombing of Edith Crane Village and the murder of their sister actresses, Amy Ross and Molly Bellamy at Milan Steakhouse. This is Jane Ross reporting.

THREE WEEKS LATER

INT. EDITH CRANE VILLAGE – AUDITORIUM – MORNING

BEFORE A LARGE AUDIENCE COMPRISED OF HOLLYWOOD ACTRESSES AND A FEW MALE MOVIE PRODUCERS AND DIRECTORS, PRESIDENT OF EDITH CRANE VILLAGE, GRACE GRAHAM CONCLUDES HER GRAND OPENING REMARKS.

GRACE GRAHAM

(Smiling graciously)

I’m told many of you are moving into your residence this afternoon. I want to thank all of you for coming and now that this matriarchal compound has been opened to be exclusively utilized by you glamorous actresses, please remember what that legendary actress, Edith Crane, so timely and wisely advocated. Edith strongly proposed we actresses forsake the distrust and violence of egotistical Hollywood actors and instead, enter a genesis, a romantic renaissance, with the likes of reputable blue-collar men. And god knows, judging by our lengthy, gloomy track record of being assaulted and murdered, we can’t fare any worse with highly regarded blue-collar men. So, don’t forget, in three weeks, we will stage our first Edith Crane Dance.

I want to acknowledge Producers: Paul Lamb, Carl Abrams, and John Clark they’re true friends of this compound.

Finally, ladies, no Hollywood or other male actors will be allowed on the premises. We have competent security enforcement, so please assist us in maintaining your unique commune.

(A big laugh)

My friends please join me downstairs for refreshment.

As the actresses scatter about, we hear loud laughter and see many waggling, gossipy tongues.

INT. LOS ANGELES – SPORTS HEATH SPA – DAY

IN THE STYLISH LOUNGE AREA, AN ARRAY OF MEN SIT AT COMPUTER CONSOLES SENDING THEIR CREDENTIALS, PHOTOS AND CHARACTER REFERENCES TO ACTRESSES AT EDITH CRANE VILLAGE. A SANITATION WORKER, CURT MEANY, 30, SITS IN THE LOUNGE CHATTING WITH BUILDING CONTRACTOR, MEL FORBES, 35.

SANITATION WORKER (CURT MEANY)

Hey Mel, did you send your credentials via computer to the actresses at Edith Crane Village?

building contractor (mel forbes)

(Shy laugh)

Yes, I did, Curt, but I feel slightly pessimistic.

Curt drinks from a bottle of water.

CURT

Why do you feel that way, Mel?

mel

Well, glamorous actresses are accustom to handsome faces, posh apartments and mansions on various continents, myriads of vacations abroad and they’re always accessible to millionaires and billionaires. Besides, many actresses are quite affluent in their own rights. So, why romance a mere peasant like me?

Curt laughs aloud and places his hand on Mel’s shoulder.

CURT

Mel, wake up out of your nightmare. For the most part you’re correct, but Actresses are human being. Many of them came from humble beginnings and they vividly remember that men like you and I, really possess that certain earthly, lovable passion that is apparently lacking among the usual Tinseltown hunks. Now Mel, we both are going to spruce up. We will go to Brooks Brothers, purchase some stylish clothing, get togged, step into that dance with our chins up and float among those glamorous actress and we’ll let mother-nature do the rest.

Mel gives a big confidence smile and stands up; Curt rise up, shakes Mel’s hand and both gents exit the lounge laughing aloud.

INT. EDITH CRANE VILLAGE – HEALTH SPA – DAY

IN THE POSH LOUNGE AREA, AN ARRAY OF ACTRESSES SIT AT COMPUTER CONSOLES READING CHARACTER REFERENCES, CREDENTIALS AND VIEWING PHOTOS OF THEIR POTENTIAL DATES FOR EDITH CRANE VILLAGE FIRST DANCE. BEVY HACK AND KITTY TAYLOR SIT ON A SOFA CHATTING ABOUT THE IMPENDING DANCE.

BEVY HACK

Kitty, I’m so thrilled about the dance; I can’t wait to meet my decent blue-collar man. I’m really bored to death with these so-called Hollywood studs. If you ask me, they’re nothing less than Hollywood Chameleons. I’ve been tricked, assaulted, impregnated, given a venereal disease, left at the altar and nearly killed. And Kitty, I’ve conversed with many well-seasoned actresses and most of them cited similar experiences as I. So, I’m seeking a new birth with a blue-collar man.

(Smile)

Kitty, I checked the computer and for the dance I’ve chosen, Curt Meany.

Kitty congratulates Bevy and shakes her hand.

KITTY TAYLOR

Oh, how wonderful Bevy, I’m elated for you. You know, I thought I was alone in being abused by Hollywood actors. Bevy, I’ve won two academy awards for best actress, I’ve amassed ten million dollars; I select only those scripts which appease my soul; I attend church each Sunday, but still, my love life has descended somewhere beneath the darkest dungeon. And Bevy, you spoke of Chameleons, well, my last companion was a he-man in the public eye on the screen, but under the cloak of darkness, he morphs into one of the loveliest queer in Tinseltown. I’ve had it with actors. So, on the computer, I checked all of the blue-collar eligible men and I selected a decent looking gentleman; his name is Mel, Mel Forbes.

Both actresses embrace and laugh aloud.

BEVY

Kitty, I’m happy for you and I wish you every success with Mel.

Both actresses stand up and depart, separate directions.

THREE WEEKS LATER

INT. EDITH CRANE VILLAGE – BALLROOM – NIGHT

THE POSH BALLROOM IS BEAUTIFULLY DECORATED WITH BLACK AND GOLD RIBBONS HANGING HIGH ABOVE THE TABLES; BLACK AND GOLD TABLE CLOTHS DRAPE EACH TABLE WHICH IS MOUNTED BY BUCKETS OF CHAMPAGNE AND ASSORTED FLOWERS; VICTORIAN-LIKE CHANDELIERS HANG ELEGANTLY FROM THE CEILING. ALL OF THE MALE GUESTS ARE ATTIRED IN BLACK TUXEDOS AND THE ACTRESSES ARE WEARING LONG-COLORFUL GOWNS.

UP FRONT NEAR THE BAND, A LONG, BEAUTIFULLY DECORATED, WHITE VIP TABLE STRETCHES ACROSS THE WIDTH OF THE BALLROOM. ALONG BOTH WALLS, LONG TABLES ARE SPLENDIDLY ADORNED WITH HEFTY VARIETY OF FRENCH CUISINE. A PLATOON OF WAITERS WANDERS ABOUT SERVING THE GUESTS. MANY GLOWING ACTRESSES AND THEIR BLUE-COLLAR DATES DANCE SLOWLY TO SOFT MUSIC SUPPLIED BY A JAZZ BAND.

SUDDENLY THE BAND CEASES TO PLAY AND RENDERS A LONG DRUM ROLL FOR A SPECIAL EVENT.

WE HEAR A LOUD RUCKUS AT THE DOOR AS GRACE GRAHAM WALKS IN, DRAPED ON THE ARM OF CHIEF OF DETECTIVE MIKE SIMMONS. GRACE SMILE AND WAVES HEARTILY TO THE SURPRISED CROWD, AS CHIEF SIMMONS ESCORT HER TO THE VIP TABLE, WHERE THEY SIT AND JOIN GRACE’S GUESTS. MIKE LEANS OVER AND WHISPERS INTO GRACE’S EAR.

MIKE SIMMONS

(Smiling)

Ms. Graham may I have the pleasure of enjoying a dance with you? I promise not to dance too fancy.

Grace kisses Mike’s lips.

GRACE

(Smiling gracefully)

Yes, Mike and you can dance fancy if you wish.

Mike helps Grace up from her seat. They proceed to the dance area where they dance alone to slow music, as the guests ogle them and applaud. Afterward, Mike escorts Grace back to her seat. Now, all of the guests proceed to the dance area and dance to a faster beat.

THE GUESTS DINE AND CHAT AS THE BAND PLAYS A PLETHORA OF ROMANTIC MUSIC. AS THE EVENING COMES TO AN END, GRACE LEAVES THE TABLE, WALKS TO THE CENTER OF THE FLOOR BEFORE A BEVY OF MICROPHONES AND ADDRESSES HER GUESTS.

GRACE

(Radiant smile)

Hello again, my sister actresses and all of your blue-collar guests. You know, I was just thinking of the late actress, Edith Crane and how she steered us in this direction, that is, to submit ourselves to the seductive lure of the blue-collar man, rather than a battalion of violent egotistical actors. And as I scan your delighted faces, I’ll say that damned Edith Crane was right. Now, if you concur with my analysis, please rise and give the late Edith Crane a thunderous ovation.

The actresses and their guests rise and render a thunderous ovation. Grace waves her hands and the audience sits down.

GRACE (CONT.)

I knew you would agree. Now, I know you’re all surprised to see me with a man, but I just want to say tonight, you’re observing the rebirth of Grace Graham.

(She gives a loud laugh)

Well, let me introduce my blue-collar man. Stand up, honey.

(Her honey stands up and smiles) Ladies and gentlemen, meet my love, Mike Simmons.

All of the actresses and their guests wave to Mike.

GRACE (CONT.)

Now I want to emphasize our theme tonight, which is, “The Blue-Collar Man”. So, when I call the name of an actress, I want the actress and her blue-collar guest to stand and the guest will inform us of his profession. We will save our applause until the end. First I call upon Kitty Taylor and Mel Forbes.

Kitty and Mel stand.

MEL FORBES

(Smiling)

My name is Mel Forbes and I’m a building contractor.

They remain standing.

GRACE

Next are Nancy Leland and Roy Belmont.

Nancy and Roy stand.

ROY BELMONT

(Smiling)

My name is Roy Belmont; I’m Chief of the Fire Department and I assisted Chief Simmons in solving the bombing of this very facility.

They remain standing.

GRACE

I see Gloria Gates and Brian West.

Gloria and Brian stand.

BRIAN WEST

(Smiling)

My name is Brian West and I’m a Detective.

They remain standing.

GRACE

Next are Bevy Hack and Curt Meany.

Bevy and Curt stand.

CURT MEANY

(Smiling)

My name is Curt Meany and I’m a sanitation worker.

They remain standing.

GRACE

Okay, next we have Cathy Wright and Claude Nelson.

Cathy and Claude stand.

CLAUDE NELSON

(Smiling)

My name is Claude Nelson and I’m a parking lot attendant.

They remain standing.

GRACE

I call upon Gwen Ames and Travis O’Hara.

Gwen and Travis stand.

TRAVIS O’HARA

(Smiling)

My name is Travis O’Hara and I’m a swimming instructor.

They remain standing.

GRACE

(Joyfully)

Okay my sister actresses and your honored guests, let’s give ourselves a rowdy ovation.

The crowd applauds loudly.

GRACE (cont.)

Ladies, I think you must all now realize you can have triumphant lives and it doesn’t necessarily mean that we’re compelled to date or marry a twenty-million dollar violent misogynist, just because he appears to be a cute stud and is employed by Bristol brothers Movie Studio. Yes, I must emphasize there’re many actresses in the audience proudly escorted by cab drivers, construction workers, printers, truck drivers, postal clerks, farmers, handymen and doormen among other professions. And finally, before closing, I’m pleased to announce over five-hundred of you actresses presently reside here at Edith Crane Village. Thank you very much and Maestro, will you strike up the band for our final dance.

The band plays a slow ballad: “I’m in the mood for love”. Grace and Mike dance slowly near the center of the ballroom; then they kiss lovingly and long. They are quickly joined on the dance floor by their applauding cast of delightful friends.

EDITH CRANE (V.O.)

Yes, from up here near the golden gates of heaven, I bear witness that a new day is born in Hollywood. Look at the incredible, newly discovered contentment radiating from the bodies and souls of my fabulous sisters of Tinseltown. Thank God they heeded my recommendation. And now as I mingle aloft among the flawless Angels of paradise, from my serene sanctuary, I will continue to look down upon my sister actresses and inculcate them with spiritual guidance. Moreover, my God will orchestrate and bestow upon my sisters an extraordinary serene reality, whereas they’ll swoon triumphantly under the modest seduction of their blue-collar lovers.

FADE OUT

THE END

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