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Dealing with Negative Emotions

| | |STOPP! Take a breath. | | |

|What emotion am I feeling? | |getselfhelp.co.uk/stopp.htm |Do what works! |Where do you feel this emotion in your body? If |

| |What can I notice in my body? |What am I reacting to? What’s pressing my buttons here? |What will be the consequences of my action?|this feeling had a colour, what would it be? What |

|[pic] |Where do I feel it? |What does this situation mean or say about me? Is this fact |What will be the most effective action? |shape is it? How big is it? What consistency is |

| | |or opinion? |What will be best for me, for others and |it? |

|What am I thinking? | |Where is my focus of attention? |for this situation? |If you felt better: What colour would it be? What |

| | |How could I see things differently? What would I say to |Is this in keeping with my principles & |about the shape? The size? The consistency? |

| | |someone else in this situation? How important is this? Is |values? |Notice that feeling now. |

| | |my reaction in proportion to the event? | | |

| | |Take the helicopter view! | | |

|Emotion |Body |Thinking differently |Doing differently |Imagery |

| | |It’s okay to feel sad about this situation, but I can get |Do things anyway – in spite of how I’m |In your mind’s eye, see yourself doing and enjoying |

|Depression |Fatigue |through it. |feeling. |the things you used to or would like to enjoy doing,|

|I’m useless, I’m worthless. |Slowed down |I’m looking through those ‘gloomy specs’ again. |Get up. Get out. |and successfully doing what you need to do. |

|Everything is hopeless |Do less |This doesn’t mean I’m a worthless person. What would be a |Do something enjoyable or useful. | |

| |Stay in bed/home |more helpful way of looking at things? |Be with or contact others. |Visualise orange for positive energy. Breathe in |

| |Disinterest |If I do something anyway – I’ll feel better. |Focus attention outside of me and my |orange, and breathe out blue/black. |

| |Can’t concentrate | |situation. | |

| | | | | |

| |Action urge: Withdraw | | | |

| | |Is this threat a real one or is it really bound to happen? |How will doing this affect me in the long |Imagine yourself coping in a situation that you feel|

|Anxiety |Adrenaline response – |Am I exaggerating the threat? Am I misreading things? |term? Don’t avoid situations – go anyway, |anxious about. See the situation through to a |

|Something bad is going to happen. |Body’s alarm system. |I feel bad, but that doesn’t mean things really are so bad. |and stick it out. Problem solve or make |successful completion. |

|I won’t be able to cope |Energised for fight or flight | |plans if necessary. Take things slowly or | |

| | |I can cope with these feelings, I’ve got through it before. |gradually. |Visualise blue for calm. Breathe in blue and |

| |Action urge: Escape & avoid | |Focus attention outside of me – external |breathe out red. |

| | |What would someone else say about this? What would be a |rather than internal focus. | |

| | |more helpful way of looking at things? | | |

| | |What am I reacting to? |Take a breath. Do the best thing – best |Visualise yourself handling this situation in a |

|Anger |Adrenaline response – |What’s pressing my buttons? |for me, for others and for the situation. |calm, non-aggressive but assertive way, respecting |

|It’s not fair. |Body’s alarm system. |Am I over-reacting? Is my reaction in proportion to the |Walk away or approach gently. |the rights and opinions of everyone involved. |

|Others are bad. |Energised for fight or flight |actual event? |When feeling calm, if still appropriate, do| |

|I won’t stand for it. | |How important is this? |something about it in a calm, |Visualise blue for calm, or green for balance. |

| |Action urge: Attack |I feel like I’m being unfairly treated, but maybe they |non-aggressive but assertive way. |Breathe in green/blue & breathe out red. |

| | |didn’t mean it that way. Am I misreading things? | | |

| | |What’s the best thing to do here? | | |

getselfhelp.co.uk ©Carol Vivyan 2009, permission to use for therapy purposes get.gg

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