Notes: 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens by Sean Covey ...

[Pages:4]Notes: 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens by Sean Covey

1. Habit 4: Think Win-Win (Life Is an All-You-Can-Eat Buffet) a. Quotes i. "Pride gets no pleasure out of having something, only out of having more of it than the next man." (C. S. Lewis) ii. "I just realized that I don't need to outrun the bear; I only need to outrun you." (One friend to another as they were being chased by a bear.) 1. Does this way of thinking help that friendship? iii. "Everyone can't always win." 1. Is that really the way it is? b. Incorrect ways of thinking about this: i. Win-Lose: 1. There is a top and a bottom, and only one can be on top. 2. In order for me to feel good about myself, I have to be `better' than someone else. 3. Is the way society trains us, at least here in the U.S. ii. Lose-Win: 1. Okay, I'll do whatever you say... 2. The "doormat" approach 3. "...find yourself setting low expectations and compromising your standards again and again" (150). 4. It's okay for the non-important stuff, but need to take a stand on the important things iii. Lose-Lose: 1. "If I'm going down, then you're going down with me, sucker" (151). 2. Misery loves company. 3. Ex: war, revenge 4. What happens when two win-lose people get together, because both are trying to win at all costs. c. Best way = Win-Win i. " a belief that everyone can win" (152). ii. "both nice and tough all at once. I won't step on you, but I won't be your doormat either" (152). iii. There's enough to go around (Basketball story) iv. How to do it? 1. Win the "private victory" first (154). (this was the first 3 habits!) 2. "Avoid the tumor twins" (155) a. Competing b. Comparing ("On Feeling Inferior" (157).)

2. Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood (You Have Two Ears and One Mouth ...Hel-lo!) a. Quotes i. "Before I can walk in another's shoes, I must first remove my own." (unknown) ii. "Please Listen" on p. 167 b. Five Poor Listening Styles (168-170) i. Spacing out ii. Pretend listening iii. Selective listening iv. Word listening v. Self-centered listening, which leads to 3 types of replies: 1. Judging 2. Advising 3. Probing c. Genuine Listening (Read aloud 3 sentences with different stresses, same words, on p. 171) i. Listen with your eyes, heart and ears. ii. Stand in their shoes iii. Practice mirroring (not mimicking) d. Giving feedback as part of seeking to be understood

3. Habit 6: Synergize (The "High" Way)

a. Quotes

i. "Alone, we can do so little; together we can do so much." (Helen Keller)

ii. "Differences create the challenges in life that open the door to discovery." (193)

b. Definition: "Synergy is achieved when two or more people work together to create a better

solution than either could alone. It's not your way or my way but a better way, a higher

way" (182).

Synergy is:

Synergy is not:

Celebrating differences

Tolerating differences

Teamwork

Working independently

Open-mindedness

Thinking you're always right

Finding new and better ways

Compromise

c. Examples of synergy in nature (183)

d. Ways to handle diversity (levels) (184-185)

i. Level 1: Shun diversity

ii. Level 2: Tolerate diversity

iii. Level 3: Celebrate diversity

e. Why is there so much diversity? "We are all a minority of one" (186)

i. We learn differently.

ii. We see differently.

iii. We have different styles, traits, and characteristics.

f. What gets in the way? "Roadblocks to celebrating differences" (190-192)

i. Ignorance

ii. Cliques

iii. Prejudice

4. Habit 7: Sharpen the Saw (It's "Me Time") a. Quotes i. "The time to repair the roof is when the sun is shining" (JFK) ii. "Nothing overmuch" (Ancient Greek saying) iii. "Balance and moderation in all things." iv. "Men and women who turn their lives over to God will find out that He can make a lot more out of their lives than they can. He will deepen their joys, expand their vision, quicken their minds, strengthen their muscles, lift their spirits, multiply their blessings, increase their opportunities, and pour out peace." (Ezra Taft Benson, past U.S. Secretary of Agriculture) b. It's about... "keeping your personal self sharp so that you can better deal with life. It means regularly renewing and strengthening the four key dimensions of your life ? your body, your brain, your heart, and your soul" (206). i. Body: The Physical Dimension 1. Exercise 2. Eat healthy 3. Sleep well 4. Relax ii. Brain: The Mental Dimension (story about young man going to Socrates, p. 216) 1. Read 2. Educate 3. Write 4. Learn new skills (Don't let school get in the way of your education, find your niche) iii. Heart: The Emotional Dimension 1. Build relationships (RBA, PBA) 2. Give service 3. Laugh iv. Soul: The Spiritual Dimension 1. Meditate 2. Keep a journal 3. Pray 4. Take in quality media

Reference: Baby Steps on pp. 28, 45-46, 71-72, 104, 128, 144, 162, 180, 202, 242

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