Lisa Wade, PhD



Companion Guide to“American Hookup: The New Culture of Sex on Campus” by Dr. Lisa WadebyBenjamin M. DrurySociology InstructorMorton CollegeThese questions are intended to stimulate conversation in college classrooms or other places where ideas are shared regarding sex; a topic that might be uncomfortable or unknown for some students. Discretion is advised. IntroductionWade reports that a great number of students on college campuses in America are emotionally unwell. Have you experienced anything like she describes? Or, have you known anyone who has experienced something similar? Explain.Partly to blame, Wade argues, is that college students today are not equipped to establish and maintain meaningful relationships in their life. Would you agree with this conclusion? Why or why not?A great deal of stereotypes regarding sex and sexual encounters prevail on college campuses. How much sex do you think your peers are having? If you believe they are having sex, how fulfilling of an experience is it? If they are not, why might they not be…and how do you see this affecting their progress in college, if at all?Describe “hookup culture” in your own words. How does it affect college students today? How might this trend influence students beyond the walls of their institution? Why might Americans be reluctant, or at the very least uncomfortable, talking about sex and sexual encounters in a public space? What part(s) of our culture contribute to this norm? Chapter 1After reading the first two-pages of this chapter, what are your thoughts on the behaviors of the college students in the story? Do you think this is common practice for college students on residential campuses? What would you say are the racial identifications of these students? What about the social class…do you perceive these students to be children of wealthy families, middle-class families, or working class families…and why?Describe what “drunkworld” is in your own words. Why it is so important to understanding hookup culture? How is pre-gaming related to the construction of drunkworld? Why do you think students in this study reported that going to parties sober was unpleasant? Do you agree with their assessment, why or why not?How would you describe the process of “grinding” in your own words? Do you think this trend is safe for all parties involved? Why or why not? What is the role of friends in the grinding ritual? Why are college students so interested in only grinding with people they considered to be at least cute, and at most hot? Do you see this as more of an opportunity for two people to grope each other in public, or an opportunity to meet someone new? Explain.Why do you think some college students brag about their sexual encounters? Describe a typical student who would be most likely to brag about sexual encounters, or even grinding, with their friends? Would these same people be likely to brag to their family members…parents, specifically? Why or why not?Respondents in the study reported that for a hookup to be successful, they: (a) needed to be (or at least claim they were) plastered, (b) not engage with this individual again unless there were feelings involved, and (c) create emotional distance from their encounter. How might this affects relationship norms in American society? Do you think that, as described, hookups are a meaningful alternative to long-term relationships, or simply vanity in action? Explain.Chapter 2Describe a particularly fun situation you had recently. Who was involved? What did you do? Why would you describe this as fun? Are there ever events that you feel pressured to have fun, when you actually feel uncomfortable? Explain. According to Wade, college students equate sex with fun and feel pressured to maximize their fun through sex. How has this thought influenced hookup culture? What happens to those who decide they do not want to embrace this as reality? How is this prevailing notion related to thoughts on freedom as a college student?Describe the history of dating and courtship in American society in your own words. How did this historical shift influence American views on sex and sexual activity? What is masculinity, and why are American families bent on raising both sexes to portray masculine behaviors? For heterosexual women that learn to embrace masculine tendencies, how can this be beneficial, and also harmful, to them personally and professionally?Why, as Wade argues, are heterosexual women less interested in hitching themselves to a man, even a successful one? How might this trend be related to the emergence of what Wade calls the “reverse double standard” related to sex in America? Why might this trend be of interest to feminists? Explain.Chapter 3The way Mara and Naomi and Priya describe college it makes it seem like they are only in it for one thing…partying. Do you think most American college students who attend a residential campus are mostly focused on studying or partying? Explain your response. How might this influence the direction of our society? Describe your expectations of the potential for these students to be successful in the classroom? How might these be driven by stereotypes that exist with regard to partying? Explain.What are some of your favorite movies about college life? How do they describe the lives of students? Do you believe this is realistic? Why or why not? How do these types of movies, and television shows, contribute to a distorted view and expectation of college life for students? How might this contribute to the growing number of college students with depression and other anxiety-related maladies?Describe college life over time in the United States. When Wade mentions that college was at one time more “menacing” than fun, what happened to accommodate this shift in college life? What part of our society is most responsible for this paradigm shift on college? How did the desire for “freedom” influence this shift from viewing college as an Ivory Tower or an Animal House?Is there anything revolutionary about this shift in sexual freedom of college students? If so, what are they rebelling against? If not, then why are college students so eager to, as Wade puts it, flirt with peril? Explain. How might going to college shake, or even lead one to abandon their morals regarding sex, partying, drinking and drugs? Describe a situation that might tempt you to throw your values away in college. Do you believe that for those whose foundations are tested, this is a permanent alteration to their personal code of conduct, or simply an effort to fit in, and even survive, their college experience? Explain.Chapter 4Describe your own hierarchy of sexual desirability. Who would be at the top? Who would be at the bottom? Why do you see others in this way? What factors in your life contributed to your view of others in this way?Jaslene, one of Wade’s respondents, suggests hooking up is not for black people. Do you see hooking up as a province for white students only? How might race influence one’s decision to either enter or opt-out of hooking up with others while in college? Why is it important to consider American culture when trying to understand issues of race and hooking up?How do you see hookup culture as being different for hetero and homosexuals on college campuses? Why is girl-on-girl kissing the only permitted same-sex sexual activity permitted at the college parties described by Wade? Why might men be not allowed to openly display affection for other men at these parties, too? What about grinding…how might this be differently experienced at parties by hetero and homosexuals? Why might the reaction of the audience be critical in defining what is and what is not permitted at parties? Explain.Describe what it means to be “sexiled” by a college roommate in your own words. How would you react if your dorm mate did this to you? What rules would you establish with your dorm mate at the beginning of the semester in order to ameliorate any negative consequences related to being sexiled? Do you think it is appropriate for students to have sex in rooms they share with other students? Why or why not?Wade argues that people who engage in hookup culture take up a great deal of psychic space on campuses, effectively making it challenging for those who opt-out to exist. Why do students who engage in hooking up feel so confident on college campuses? They certainly are not pouring as much effort into their studies, so what do they have to be so proud about? And, why are they proud? Why do others view this as dominance on college campuses?Chapter 5Wade suggests that the gay liberation movement is in some ways related to hookup culture. How are these two trends related? How might the expressions of sexuality from these two groups be different and similar?How has the pressure to be successful influence hookup culture? Do you see American society as too focused on material gains for college students to even make time for significant relationships? How afraid are you of acquiring a sexually transmitted disease from a sexual partner? What does safe (or safer) sex mean to you? Is it possible to achieve safe sexual encounters in the hookup culture scene? Why or why not?Why are first-year students most likely to engage in hookup culture…even if they are otherwise unexperienced or uninterested in having sex with strangers? What is a motivating force pushing them to try this, and who is most responsible for it? How might being transgendered, or otherwise deemed an “other” by society, complicate hooking up? Explain.Chapter 6When reading about the story of Farrah and Tiq, it is clear how building up the hard exterior can prevent true feelings from being expressed. When can one be sure that it is safe to reveal true feelings about someone else? What are some of the potential benefits and consequences of revealing these feelings? Do you believe that most college-aged adults are able to communicate their true feelings accurately? Are most college students equipped with the social skills necessary to begin and end a significant relationship with maturity and civility? Why or why not? Why is hooking up often described as being an emotionless encounter? Why might college students be drawn to hooking up for this particular reason? Why is it seen as undesirable by some college students to have emotional encounters with peers? What does it mean to be clingy? Is it possible for both heterosexual men and heterosexual women to be clingy? Why is it so important for people involved in the hookup culture to appear less interested than their partner…even to the point where they may compete to show the least amount of care and affection for the other?Describe benevolent sexism in your own words. Why do heterosexual men use this tactic as a means to create separation between them and heterosexual women they are having sex with? What can heterosexual women do in an effort to counter this tactic? Is it possible for two people to be involved in a caring, hookup focused, relationship? Explain.How has the pornography industry and media socially constructed sex to be today? How might social media account for ways we share ideas regarding sex, sexual activity, and sexual identity? How has this social construction led to college-aged cynicism about sex, and love more specifically? Do you think our society will return to a time when sex was more meaningful and rewarding for young people, or will we continue our progress towards a colder society? Explain.Chapter 7Describe the “orgasm gap” in your own words. What do you think contributes to this trend in American society? Why does this trend persist? Do you think it is possible to eradicate this gap? Explain.When it comes to oral sex, the orgasm gap benefits heterosexual men more than heterosexual women. However, Wade introduces research that argues heterosexual men, “lots of men” in fact, are interested in performing oral sex on heterosexual women. Why are men less likely to perform oral sex in hookup situations? Why do heterosexual women feel compelled, even against their own interests, to perform oral sex on heterosexual men in hookup situations? Why are heterosexual women so focused on pleasing their heterosexual man in sexual encounters? Why are hookups defined so differently from meaningful relationships in terms of expectations of reciprocity of orgasms?Describe the practice of “shit talk” in your own words. Why do predominantly heterosexual men participate in this practice? Of what value is it to maintaining patriarchal dominance over women in sexual situations? How does shit talk translate into behaviors, specifically in terms of choosing potential sexual partners and the frequency and perceived pressure to hookup? How might this type of language translate into degrading remarks about women who do not meet the standards of beauty established by the friend network?If women are not experiencing orgasms during their hookups, of what value are hookups to them? Why are they satisfying to the point where women all over the country in nearly all college campuses are engaged in this sexual practice? Explain.Chapter 8Why is it that women who engage in kissing other women at parties can retain their sexual identity as heterosexual, but if two men were to kiss at a party their heterosexual label would be, at the very least questioned…if not removed entirely?What does it mean to be sexy? What does it mean to be sexual? How are these two traits different and similar for heterosexual men? Do these differences and similarities hold up for homosexuals? Why or why not? Explain. Why is attention due to physical appearance critically important to those engaged in hookup culture? Do you believe the expectations for attractiveness are similar for heterosexual men and women? What about for homosexual men and women? Why do some people attach people’s responses to their beauty as an evaluation of their personal worth?Describe the paradox of attraction heterosexual women face…why are they so “grossed out” by being objectified by men, while at the same time craving it? How does this contribute to the social construction of sex and sexuality in America?Why might some heterosexual women be motivated to “take down” other women competing for the same man? Explain.Chapter 9When does a sexual encounter become coercive? How do you know when the other party is consenting to sex? How do you know when the consent is gone? Why might the inclusion of drugs and alcohol into sexual encounters make determining consent challenging, if not impossible? Explain.Describe “party rape” in your own words. What are the two theories Wade identifies as commonly used to explain this trend? Which one do you believe most accurately describes this type of sexual encounter? When does “boys will be boys” become a dangerous situation for heterosexual women? Does simply going to a party signal consent to be touched? Why or why not? And, if openly groping and stalking women is done in public view, what does that say about what they might do behind closed doors? Also, how might predatory heterosexual women exist in similar situations?Why might someone be uninclined to intervene if and when they see someone on the verge of being sexually assaulted? How can one be sure what they are seeing is actually an unwanted sexual advance? Why is it important for all people at a party, or club, or bar, or residence hall, or anywhere else on campus to be aware of what sexual assault looks like and what to do if you suspect that you see one occurring?Why are so few victims of sexual assault likely to report it to the authorities? Are the reasons similar for both male and female victims of sexual assault? Why or why not? Chapter 10What can be learned by someone who engages in or distances themselves from hookup culture? What can they learn about sex, relationships, themselves as a result of their relative involvement in hooking up while in college?Do you believe that if hooking up is practiced in college that it will be more or less likely that the individual will continue this practice beyond college? Why or why not? How might they accomplish this, or avoid it? Explain.Why do some college students who graduate and begin dating find it challenging to date? How might the rules for dating and the rules for hooking up be similar and different? Explain.Of the characters introduced in this book, which do you most identify with? Which are you the most hopeful for? Which are you most concerned about?After reading this book, how has your understanding of sex, sexuality, and sexual behavior on college campuses changed? What are some of the benefits and consequences of reading this book? Explain.ConclusionYoung men and women will continue to fall in love. How does the presence of hookup culture block and/or pave the pathway to long lasting, meaningful, and loving relationships? Explain.Why does American culture prize masculinity, but not femininity? Also, how does this compromise healthy, natural sexual exploration and sexual identity formation for young people of all sexual identities? Why are the men who are most likely to engage in hooking up also the same men who likely have the most power to shape the culture of the campus? Why do we treat powerful and strong women differently than powerful and strong men?Describe a few of the benefits and consequences of engaging in hookups while in college? What are some of the ways we can fight against the negative aspects of hookup culture, and preserve some of the benefits? Do you think that colleges should acknowledge this trend and provide more relevant services to their students? If so, what services and how should they be administered?If the goal of hookups is to have truly free and fun sexual encounters, how do we get to a place where this is the reality for all parties involved? Explain. ................
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