Unit 2 EA 2: Writing a Satirical Piece Student Examples

English 11 CP SpringBoard Level 6

Unit 2 EA 2: Writing a Satirical Piece Student Examples

Name______________ Date_________

Good Example How To Be A Lady: The Modern Guide

The first thing to understand about being a lady is that you are not one. You are a female, and that means nothing. When you learn the standards of society and if you can hold yourself high enough, you will have become a true lady: a lady who is capable of success and the praise of those around you. If you adhere to the following guidelines, you will have hope of becoming a lady.

The first thing to think about when you want to become a lady is that a true lady looks perfect. She always presents herself as her best self. This means that make-up is a must. Natural beauty is unacceptable. If you dislike make-up, you can do just the basics. Concealer, a liquid foundation, a powder cover-up, blush, bronzer, mascara, and liquid eyeliner are the bare minimum. Do not be afraid to use and mix a few shades of eye shadow, and do not skimp on sparkles, glitter, lipstick, lip liner, or lip gloss. Dying your hair is an option also. Bleaching your hair is a must if you are a redhead, brunette, or if you have auburn colored hair. Dressing appropriately is a must also. Wear dresses that are too short and heals that are too high. A girl is guaranteed to turn heads that way! Society expects you to look your best, and the only way to be a lady is to do what society is leading you to do.

The next step to becoming a lady is to become a gold digger. Let men pay for your dinner, your house, your clothing, your shoes, your electric bills, and your car. If you are in debt, marry a rich man and take all of his money to pay for your mistakes. After you suck his bank account dry, he is disposable, so do not feel obligated to stay with him if you are sick of him. However, always, always remember that image is what is most important. Even if you have used all of your husbands money and you are sick of him, it is very important that you stay with him if that is what people around you expect.

Thirdly, be loud. Be obnoxious. People will notice you, and they may even stare. This is a good thing and it will start happening often, so get used to the limelight. It will benefit you to be pushy because getting what you want is the number one priority. Like spending a mans money, being pushy will get you anything you want. Being rude is a sign of power, so it is accepted in our society today. Pushing people out of your way is becoming more and more acceptable everyday, so do this often. Especially when waiting in line to order your coffee with a double shot of espresso, two pumps of mocha and one pump of caramel, two and a half packets of Sweet `N Low, and a little cream at Starbucks. Cut in line in front of everyone who is less ladylike than you are. If you follow these guidelines, this means you will cut in front of everyone. You also must remember that in a few situations, you may have to be a bit fake. In these situations you can let your ladylike charm fade to the background a bit. These situations include meeting your in-laws and job interviews. You do not want to make very important people jealous of you.

The final thing to remember is to love yourself. Love yourself more than you love anything: more than you love your dog, your mother, your siblings, your significant other, or money (if that is possible). Do everything that you want to. Get everything you want. Loving yourself means you give yourself everything, even the things that belong to others. This means that stealing is okay because it is out of love. Love yourself to the point of self worship. Stare at yourself in the mirror for hours and admire yourself. This builds self confidence and is good because you will ooze the very essence of love and everyone will be able to tell.

Be sure to show yourself off. Everyone will know you are a lady, and they will respect you for it. Following the guidelines outlined in this essay will help gain you success, power, and acceptance in our society. Furthermore, you will finally be a true lady!

Not-So-Good Example The Social Networks

Websites likes Facebook and Myspace are changing the way people live their lives. They rely on these kinds of websites as means of communication with people and a way to get information on someone or something. The idea that anyone can go onto these kinds of websites and use them is a very good idea. This allows you to get in touch with anyone that you choose and fine out anything about them that they have on the website. In just one website, you can not only find out things about other people, but about events going on with almost any given topic.

Websites like Facebook will anyone make a profile and fill in their personal information which is visible to anyone that you are friends with. This is a good thing because it will allow people to find things out about another person without even talking to them about it first. It is possible to find out where someone lives or what their phone number is just from going on their page on a website like this. This is a good thing because then if getting in touch with someone is becoming a problem and previous plans have been made to go to their house, then it is possible to find out where they live through other means. Also if talking to someone over these kinds of websites it taking to long due to important information that is needed quickly, phone numbers can be found on that person's profile. This makes it easier to get in touch with them if it is needed to be quick.

Facebook and Myspace make it a lot easier to communicate with others. Using features on the websites like messaging and chat will allow people to talk to each other whether both of them are online or not. This makes to easier to get in touch with someone when it is for something of importance. If they are not online, then leaving them a message or wall post will allow for them to see it when they come back onto the website. Another thing that the messaging features make it easier to do is make new friends. Talking to new people that are from another school or just random is easy with these websites since all that needs to be done is send them a message or a friend request. This makes is easier than ever to become to popular kid, even in more than one area.

Another good thing about Facebook is that everything that is going on with all the people on a person's friend list is shown on a news feed. This makes it easy to see every little thing that is going on with the people on that life. Things like what they are doing or they're updated relationship or job statuses. Every little thing that those people do shows up as soon as it happens to been seen by anyone that they are friends with. This lets information travel fast around places like school and give people things to talk about. It is also easy for someone to express his or her opinion on something with this type of news feed. When something is seen that interests someone all they have to do is post a comment. The site then gives the information to person who posted the status or update instantly so that they can respond to what they have to say.

In conclusion, Social Networking websites like Facebook can be very helpful in enabling people to find out information about someone. People no longer need to rely on phones or face-to-face communication because everything that they need is on these kinds of sites. Even the news can be found on some of the sites like this. Websites like Facebook are slowly taking the world by storm and eliminating all other means of communication.

Note: The above example is "not-so-good" because the author needs to be more satirical throughout the essay ? for example, using more sarcasm, more exaggeration, more irony, etc. The topic choice is good, but the use of satirical techniques needs improvement. The first "good" example does a better job of capturing the satirical tone desired for this assignment. Remember, you can also look to all of the satirical pieces in the SpringBoard book as examples.

 ................
................

In order to avoid copyright disputes, this page is only a partial summary.

Google Online Preview   Download