Thesis Statements - Mr. Assael's English Classes



Thesis Statements

The thesis statement declares the main point or controlling idea of your entire essay. It frequently answers the question "What is the writer's purpose in this essay?"

Four tips for writing a good thesis statement:

1. A good thesis statement states the writer's clearly defined opinion on some subject. Tell the reader what you think about the topic. Don't dodge the issue. Take a stand. State your opinion specifically and precisely.

NO: Many people have different opinions on whether people under twenty one should be able to drink alcohol, and I agree with some of them.

NO: The question of whether we need a national law governing the minimum age to drink alcohol is a controversial issue in many states.

YES: The Federal government should pass a law setting the age of 21 as the minimum age to legally drink alcohol.

2. A good thesis statement is worth discussing.

NO: The four children in my family have completely different personalities.

YES: Violent television shows are responsible for the development of personality disorders in millions of young children.

3. A good thesis statement sparks a discussion that fits the size of the assignment. (Unless you’re writing a book, stick to one idea.)

NO: Jazz musicians have contributed a lot to American culture.

YES: Scott Joplin was a major influence in the development of the uniquely American music called ragtime.

4. A good thesis statement is an opinion, but it must present a position that reasonable people can argue about.

NO: Child abuse is a terrible thing.

YES: Child abuse laws in this state are too lenient for repeat offenders.

NO: Vanilla is the most delicious flavor of ice cream.

NO: Nationwide, vanilla ice cream consistently outsells chocolate ice cream.

YES: Ice cream advertising is contributing to America’s obesity problem and should be regulated by the Federal government.

NO: One-quarter of the world's population has blue eyes.

NO: Tomato is a fruit.

NO: Cats are lovable pets.

NO: Cats are small.

NO: Advertisers often use sex in their ads to sell products.

YES: Although long criticized for their sexist portrayal of women in television commercials, the auto industry is just as often guilty of stereotyping men as brainless idiots unable to make a decision.

Five mistakes to avoid when forming your thesis statement:

1. Don't make your thesis statement merely an announcement of your subject matter or a description of what you intend to do. State a side of an argument!

NO: The subject of this paper is my experience with a pet boa constrictor.

NO: I am going to discuss boa constrictors as pets.

YES: Boa constrictors do not make healthy indoor pets.

2. Don't clutter your thesis statement with expressions such as "In my opinion ..." "I believe ..." or "In this essay... ." These phrases spoil your thesis statement by making it into something that is no longer arguable.

For example, if I say, “My opinion is that cell phones should be outlawed” then the opposite position must be: “No, your opinion is not that cell phones should be outlawed.” That’s crazy!

NO: My opinion is that the Federal government should devote more money to solar energy research.

NO: My thesis states that the Federal government should devote more money to solar energy research.

YES The Federal government should devote more money to solar energy research.

NO: In this essay, I will give you lots of reasons why horse racing should not be legalized in Texas.

YES: Horse racing should not be legalized in Texas.

3. Don't be unreasonable. Making irrational or oversimplified claims will not persuade your reader to agree with your position—neither will insults.

NO: Radical religious fanatics across the nation are trying to impose their right-wing views by censoring high school library books.

YES: Only local school board members, not religious leaders or parents, should decide which books high school libraries should order.

NO: Too many corrupt books in our high school libraries, selected by liberal or atheistic educators, are undermining the morals of our youth.

YES: In order to ensure that high school libraries contain books that reflect community standards, parents should have a voice in selecting new titles.

4. Don't express your thesis in the form of a question.

NO: Why should every college student have to earn credits in a foreign language?

YES: College students should not be required to earn foreign language credits.

5. One more thing: A thesis statement is not a title. A title can often give the reader some notion of what the thesis is going to be, but it is not the thesis statement itself. Remember, too, that a thesis statement will always be a complete sentence; there is no other way to make a statement.

NO: Teaching children at home.

YES: Parents who home school their children should not receive tax exemptions.

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