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Writing Task 2 Diagnostic

Print out the page. Read the task. Write your answer on paper. You can only use 40 minutes for this task. After 40 minutes copy your hand written text below the task in this document. Do not change anything when copying on the document.

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Write about the following topic:

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programs (for example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.

Write at least 250 words.

Write your answer for Academic IELTS Writing Task 2 here:

It is believed among some people that high school programmes should contain volunteer service in community as a required part, such as working for a charity, neighbourhood improvement or teaching sports to youngsters. I suppose I cannot agree more of it.

It is known that high school education takes a key role on students’ personalities and thoughts. Teenagers at these years old should be taught how to take their social responsibilities and develop the ideas of civilization. Doing some volunteers for communities is a good way to get that outcomes. Through the unpaid community service ,youngsters are able to build a link with other residents and learn more about the circumstance of the neighbourhoods, which are truly helpful for their social skills as well. Moreover, these activities might give a sense of participation for students which will improve their self-confidence and self-worth fantastically and drive them to a more positive future for helping others and involving in public affairs.

On the other hand, making volunteer a compulsory class is necessary because juveniles always lack of self-control. If it is optionable ,maybe lots of them will not attend so that the educational impact must be reduced. In order to encourage more students’ enthusiasm, schools should provide various types of service for students to pick according to their own interests, for instance teaching little children voluntarily ,planting tree for public streets, helping the olds, repairing broken facilities and so on .

To summarise ,unpaid community contributions should be promoted largely and considered as a compulsory discipline at high schools as soon as possible, which will make benefits for both individuals and whole societies.

In-depth Task Feedback

1 TASK ACHIEVEMENT

YOU HAVE AN INTRODUCTION yes, but you can add a framing to it

YOU PARAPHRASE THE QUESTION IN YOUR INTRODUCTION no, you stay too close to the original question, you should paraphrase better

YOU EXPRESS A CLEAR POSITION yes

YOU HAVE SOME MAIN IDEAS yes

YOU DEVELOP YOUR MAIN IDEAS FULLY not really, you have too many ideas which you do not fully develop

YOU EXTEND YOUR IDEAS FULLY no, see previous

YOU SUPPORT YOUR IDEAS WITH EVIDENCE no, you don't have any examples in your essay

YOU USE ACADEMIC EXAMPLES no, see previous

YOU HAVE A CONCLUSION FOR EACH MAIN IDEA no

YOU DEVELOP YOUR POSITION FULLY no, you mention some ideas but do not fully develop them

YOU HAVE A CONCLUSION yes

YOU RESTATE WHAT THE ESSAY IS ABOUT partially, you can restate it a bit better

YOU HAVE SUGGESTIONS FOR THE FUTURE partially, you can have some more concrete suggestions for the future

YOU ANSWER THE QUESTION FULLY yes

YOU DON’T GO OFF TOPIC yes

YOU HAVE AT LEAST 250 WORDS yes

2 COHESION AND COHERENCE

YOU ORGANISE YOUR INFORMATION yes

YOU USE COHESIVE DEVICES yes, but not always correct

YOU USE REFERENCING AND SUBSTITUTION yes

YOU HAVE CLEARLY MARKED PARAGRAPHS no, you should better mark your paragraphs by clearly leaving an empty line between them

YOU HAVE ONE CLEAR CENTRAL IDEA PER PARAGRAPH no, you have multiple ideas per paragraph

YOU HAVE A TOPIC SENTENCE partially, you have some form of topic sentence, but not really how it is properly done

YOUR PARAGRAPHS ARE LOGICALLY STRUCTURED yes

YOU DON’T HAVE TOO LONG SENTENCES WITH TOO MANY CLAUSES yes, you make some complex sentences with clauses which are most of the time good

YOU DON’T HAVE TOO SHORT SENTENCES yes, but you could make the one sentence in your introduction better

YOU DON’T HAVE FRAGMENTED SENTENCE THAT DO NOT MAKE SENSE yes

YOUR WORD ORDER IN SENTENCES IS GOOD mostly, some small issues here and there

3 LEXICAL RESOURCES

YOU USE A WIDE RANGE OF VOCABULARY FOR THE TASK, partially, you can still extend it more

YOU USE YOUR VOCABULARY FLUENTLY AND FLEXIBLY partially, more lexical range will help you be more fluent and flexible

YOU DON’T MAKE NOTICEABLE ERRORS IN SPELLING yes

YOU DON’T MAKE NOTICEABLE ERRORS IN WORD FORMATION no, you have some small issues with word formation

YOU DON’T MAKE NOTICEABLE ERRORS IN COLLOCATIONS no, you do have some small issues with collocations

YOU DON’T MAKE NOTICEABLE ERRORS IN WORD CHOICE no, you have many issues with word choices and should work on this

YOUR ERRORS DON’T CAUSE DIFFICULTY TO UNDERSTAND YOU yes, even though you make mistakes I can still understand what you are trying to say

4 GRAMMATICAL RANGE AND ACCURACY

YOU USE COMPLEX SENTENCES ACCURATELY yes, you have a range of more complex sentences and you use them well

YOU USE A WIDE RANGE OF GRAMMATICAL STRUCTURES FOR THE TASK yes

YOU DON’T MAKE NOTICEABLE ERRORS IN GRAMMAR yes, some small issues but mostly ok

YOU DON'T MAKE NOTICEABLE ERRORS IN PUNCTUATION yes

YOUR ERRORS DON’T CAUSE DIFFICULTY TO UNDERSTAND YOU yes

General feedback on target score

GOAL 6.5 :

1 TASK ACHIEVEMENT: needs a lot more work

You need to paraphrase the question better

You could add a framing to the question to give it more context

You should express your stand a bit better

You need to focus on 2 arguments to defend your opinion and forget about the others

You could work a bit more on your conclusion

2 COHESION AND COHERENCE: needs more work

You need to clearly mark paragraphs

You need to work on your paragraph structure: topic sentence, expansion, suporting evidence with example, conclusion

3 LEXICAL RESOURCES: needs a lot more work

You need to work on your word choices

you need some more work on your collocations

you need some more work on your word formation

You could expand your vocabulary more to be more flexible and accurate with what you want to express

4 GRAMMATICAL RANGE AND ACCURACY: on task

You don't really need any work on your grammar apart from some small details here and there

Advice For Improvement

1 TASK ACHIEVEMENT

You already have a good idea about how an acadmic essay works, but you still need some work on paraphresing the question and writing good paragraphs defending your claims.

To have a better idea of paraphresing have a look at:

To really improve the structure of your paragraph have a look at how to write a paragraph:

as well as the different question types as they influence the structure of your paragraphs:



You could have a look at how to improve your introduction:

You could have a look at how to improve your conlcusion:

2 COHESION AND COHERENCE

You just need work with the overall structure of the essay as that is what you have the most issues with. Have a look at how to write an academic essay:

have a look at the different question types on how to structure the overall essay:

have a look at how to write a paragraph to work on your paragraphs:

You also need a little bit more work with linkers, you can have a practice here:

3 LEXICAL RESOURCES:

You have the most issues with word choice. The best thing you can do is have a look at other people's writing (an example for this task is below) and see what language they use to express themselves and how they write.

4 GRAMMATICAL RANGE AND ACCURACY:

There is no real need to work on your grammar and sentences, but you can always have a look at other people's writing and see what grammatical structures they use.

2 OVERALL WORK THAT NEEDS TO BE DONE

You have a good idea of what is needed for academic writing. You just need to focus more and struture your paragraphs better. Apart from that you need some more work on your language, the best for this is doing a lot of acadelmic reading and Writing Task 2 examples.

Here is a good example for the question you answered. Have a look at it, see how it is similar and different from your task. Have a look at the structure, the vocabulary, the grammar,...

Children’s education has always been a highly debated issue, not only by the parents but also as a society in general. Every few years new ideas emerge and people want them to be included in the curriculum. One of these recent suggestions is to oblige young adolescents to perform voluntary community work such as working on social projects in their city. Personally, I think that forcing teenagers to commit to extra tasks would be counterproductive for the following reasons.

Firstly, children are already overloaded with too much work. Currently, children spend a lot of time at school, on top of that they have a lot of homework.  Additionally, schools are becoming more and more demanding and children have less and less time to play and be children. For example, there are children that I know who wake up before 6 to go to school and come back after 5 in the evening. Then their parents send them to other classes, such as dance, music, or even extra Math or English classes. Only to come home around 8, after which they still need to finish their homework, eat, and go to bed. Therefore, adding another few extra hours of voluntary work will not be helping them, it will only make them feel worse

Second, volunteering should be done of one’s own free will and making it mandatory defeats its purpose. Moreover, this is especially true when dealing with teenagers, which are notorious for hating anything that has to be done. For instance, when telling a teen that he or she will have to go clean up the neighbourhood because it will make the place better as well as make him or her feel better, the resentment will only grow. Therefore, it is paramount that volunteering should not be forced upon them, but rather give them some sort of choice. Providing options has more chance of fostering some responsibility, rather than being counterproductive.

In conclusion, obliging children to volunteer outside school as part of their curriculum is an unhealthy idea. However, I personally believe that volunteering could be part of a schooling program if it were offered on a free basis. Additionally, it should replace certain classes, instead of added to the already overtaxed time of the children.

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