DANGER MOUSE The Snowman Cometh DM-S1-E38and39 Shooting Script Written ...
[Pages:28]DANGER MOUSE The Snowman Cometh
DM-S1-E38and39
Shooting Script
Written by Mark Huckerby & Nick Ostler
14th April 2015
ACT 1
1
EXT. LONDON - DAY
1
A Christmas-tastic picture-postcard snowy, London, with loud .
NARRATOR (V.O.)
1
Christmas in London! It's the most
1
wonderful time of the year. Carol
singers!
DICKENSIAN CAROL SINGERS sing next to BIG MIKE'S PIE STORE.
NARRATOR (V.O.)
2
Big Mike's Holly and Ivy Pies!
2
A CAROL SINGER takes a bite of a pie, and painfully pulls a bit of spikey holly out of her mouth.
NARRATOR (V.O.)
3
Snowmen!
3
The SNOWMAN, initially looking happy and still, next to a outdoor tree, like a real snowman.
NARRATOR (V.O.)
4
But that's no ordinary snowman!
4
His face twists into a sneer and he an evil laugh.
NARRATOR
5
Yes, it wouldn't be a Danger Mouse
5
Christmas special without a
dastardly seasonal villain!
THE SNOWMAN smashes the Christmas tree away, then glides down the road, scattering the carol singers.
THE SNOWMAN
6
I AM THE SNOWMAN! Feel the awesome
6
chill of winter's breath!
The Snowman breathes on a Carol Singer's neck. She simply wraps a scarf a little tighter. The Snowman glides away . He bursts into a park where Tiny Tim is limping sadly along a path. The Snowman sprays the ground, turning it into ice. The Park now looks like a winter wonderland
THE SNOWMAN (CONT'D)
7
Behold a new, icy Dawn of Terror!
7
Tiny Tim and start skating. He's not terrified.
THE SNOWMAN (CONT'D)
8
That's right, warm-skins, I shall
8
freeze you in the icy blast of-
DM-S1-E38&39-THE SNOWMAN COMETH-Shooting Script-140415
2.
Record scratch.
NARRATOR (V.O.)
9
I'm so sorry everyone, the Snowman
9
was the only villain available. All
the proper ones are busy
celebrating the season of peace and
goodwill.
CUTAWAY - GREENBACK, LOOCIFER, QUARK, THE PRINCESS and COUNT DUCKULA are sitting around a Christmas tree. The Baron puts his arm around Loocifer.
DR LOOCIFER
10
Merry Christmas, Baron. And peace
10
on Earth.
BARON GREENBACK
11
What!? NEVER!
11
The villains all immediately start fighting each other.
BACK TO THE ICY PARK where the Snowman is standing angrily with his twigs on his hips.
THE SNOWMAN
12
I AM a real villain! Check this
12
out: Deploy SNOW BLASTERS!
He stomps his feet, sending up a shower of snow which he forms into two snowballs. He throws them at the Carol Singers but misses.
THE SNOWMAN (CONT'D)
13
Um... that was a warning shot.
13
A snowball hits him.
THE SNOWMAN (CONT'D)
14
Ow! Who threw that?
14
Pull back to reveal the snowball thrower: DANGER MOUSE, looking unconcerned.
DANGER MOUSE
15
Can we just get on with this? It is
15
Christmas Eve and we've got a lot
to do before tomorrow.
REVEAL: Penfold nearby in the Danger Car wrapping presents.
PENFOLD
16
Take your time. I'm still wrapping
16
the Colonel's present.
DM-S1-E38&39-THE SNOWMAN COMETH-Shooting Script-140415
3.
THE SNOWMAN
17
Silence non-carrot noses! Soon my
17
blizzard of doom will- hey, give
that back!
Tiny Tim has pulled out his twig arm and is using it as a crutch.
TINY TIM
18
Thanks for the crutch, dummy.
18
DM stifles a and soon Big Mike, the carol singers and Tiny Tim are all along as well, pointing at The Snowman who looks around, angry.
THE SNOWMAN
19
How dare you diss my awesome
19
powers! Deploy panic buttons!
Pop, pop, pop: the Snowman's buttons fly off to no effect whatsoever. Everyone
DANGER MOUSE
20
(sighs) Better put him out of his
20
misery... Danger Skates!
Rocket Ice Skates pop out from DM's boots and he zooms across the ice, pirouettes, flies into a triple spin and lands perfectly next to the Snowman, spins him round and throws him straight into the back seat of the Danger Car, where the automatic seat belt grips him. .
THE SNOWMAN
21
Release me, or I will destroy you!
21
PENFOLD
22
Can I borrow your twig?
22
Penfold grabs the snowman's `finger' and uses it to help him wrap the present. DM climbs into the driver's seat.
DANGER MOUSE
23
Honestly, Snowman, I just don't
23
think you've got what it takes to
be a super-villain.
THE SNOWMAN
24
Lies! One day the world will feel
24
the power of my wintry terr- Are
these seats heated?
The Snowman melts as they drive off.
SNOWMAN
25
I'm melting...
25
DM-S1-E38&39-THE SNOWMAN COMETH-Shooting Script-140415
4.
DANGER MOUSE
26
That reminds me we need ice cubes
26
for the Christmas party.
PENFOLD
27
I'll add it to the list.
27
The Snowman is now mainly water and leaking out the door.
SNOWMAN
28
I... will... have my revenge...
28
All that's left is the twig, some coal and a carrot. DM turns and grabs the carrot.
DANGER MOUSE
29
Add dips to the list, this'll never
29
be enough to go round.
2
INT. DANGER HQ - NIGHT
2
Penfold is spotlit, making a heartfelt declaration to his friends.
PENFOLD
30
...and so, in summary, those are
30
the 53 reasons why I firmly believe
that I should be allowed to open my
presents early on Christmas Eve.
Lights up on the Agency's Christmas party. The HQ is decked out with an impressive tree, presents and tinsel.
PROFESSOR SQUAWKENCLUCK
31
No chance. Anticipation is half the
31
fun. Pass me a biscuit.
Penfold turns away and Squawkencluck quickly whips out a SCANNER and scans one of her presents. She sighs, resigned.
PROFESSOR SQUAWKENCLUCK (CONT'D)
32
Another new hair dryer. Brilliant.
32
They know me so well.
Penfold offers Squawk a plate of Christmas-tree shaped biscuits, as DM strides over with a large pile of presents to put under the tree.
PENFOLD
33
Remember what we agreed, Chief. No
33
dangerous presents like last year.
DANGER MOUSE
34
As if I'd forget.
34
He looks nervously at the pile of presents. He has forgotten.
DM-S1-E38&39-THE SNOWMAN COMETH-Shooting Script-140415
5.
3
FLASHBACK. LAST YEAR.
3
Penfold unwraps a present and a long tentacle shoots out and wraps itself round Penfold's neck.
DANGER MOUSE
35
He likes you! Don't make prolonged
35
eye contact.
PENFOLD (V.O.)
36
And the year before that.
36
4
FLASHBACK. THE YEAR BEFORE THAT.
4
Penfold zooms through HQ out of control on a super-fast ROCKET CYCLE - .
DANGER MOUSE
37
You said you wanted a bike!
37
Penfold SMASHES through the window and DM dives after him.
PENFOLD (V.O.)
38
And the year before that.
38
5
FLASHBACK. THE YEAR BEFORE THAT.
5
Penfold looks nervously at a huge present - clearly a massive monster with horns and claws, wrapped up with a bow.
DANGER MOUSE
39
Can you guess what it is?
39
The Present swallows Penfold whole.
6
PRESENT DAY.
6
DM, fixed smile.
DANGER MOUSE
40
Absolutely no dangerous presents
40
this year, Penfold. I promise.
Penfold turns and walks off. DM drops the smile and hurriedly hides the presents behind the sofa. They variously , , and .
Penfold returns with more biscuits. DM quickly hides a final gift under a sofa cushion, and sits on it. A muffled EXPLOSION. Smoke pours out beneath him as Penfold and Squawkencluck look over and DM whistles, nonchalantly.
Suddenly HQ is filled with blinding light and tinny, recorded Christmas Music.
DM-S1-E38&39-THE SNOWMAN COMETH-Shooting Script-140415
6.
COLONEL K (O.S.)
41
Sorry, it's my new Christmas
41
jumper. Hang on! I'll turn it off.
COLONEL K appears, the LED flashing lights dimming on his oversized, tacky Christmas jumper.
COLONEL K (CONT'D)
42
Ah, there you are DM.
42
DM rubs his eyes, focuses.
DANGER MOUSE
43
Merry Christmas, Colonel.
43
COLONEL K
44
I wish it was DM! Someone has
44
threatened to KIDNAP SANTA CLAUS!
ON CHRISTMAS EVE!
DM recoils.
DANGER MOUSE
45
45
Penfold hides his face.
PENFOLD
46
46
Squawkencluck shrugs.
PROFESSOR SQUAWKENCLUCK
47
Big deal. Santa's not real. Flying
47
reindeer? Magic sleighs? Elves?
Give me a break.
SANTA, in hologram form, pops up next to Colonel K.
PROFESSOR SQUAWKENCLUCK (CONT'D)
48
Pah! That could be anyone.
48
SANTA
49
Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas! Sorry
49
I can't be there in person, but
it's the busiest night of the year
here in the North Pole. Ho, ho, ho!
PROFESSOR SQUAWKENCLUCK
50
I'm going to the lab. Let me know
50
when The Loch Ness Monster and
Bigfoot arrive.
Professor Squawkencluck exits.
DM-S1-E38&39-THE SNOWMAN COMETH-Shooting Script-140415
7.
DANGER MOUSE
51
If you're in danger, Santa, you've
51
come to the right people. We're a
highly skilled, professional team-
PENFOLD
52
SANTA, SANTA, SANTA!
52
Penfold jumps up and down, sprints to embrace Santa, forgets it's a hologram and SMACKS into a wall.
DANGER MOUSE
53
Why do you think someone wants to
53
kidnap you, Mr Claus?
Santa holds up a nightmarish-looking, bug-eyed dolly and pulls its cord. The dolly speaks in a disconcertingly low, gruff voice. Her eye falls out on a spring.
DOLLY
54
This Christmas will be your last,
54
Santa! I want what is yours!
SANTA
55
Ho, ho, ho!
55
COLONEL K
56
I hardly think this is a laughing
56
matter, Santa.
SANTA
57
Sorry, that was the nervous laugh.
57
I only have one laugh.
DANGER MOUSE
58
Lock your doors and block the
58
chimney Santa, we're on our way...
with jingle bells on!
ACT 2
7
EXT. SANTA'S GROTTO - NIGHT
7
A dreamy, peaceful winter wonderland vista of candy canes, giant presents, trees and the ginger-bread style Santa's workshop. Idyllic Christmas music.
COLONEL K (O.S.)
59
You must keep Santa safe until he's
59
delivered all his presents, DM. But
try not to get in the way.
DANGER MOUSE (O.S.)
60
Don't worry Colonel, he won't even
60
know we're there.
The Danger Car crashes through the grotto as it lands.
................
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