Building Strong Marriages - Christian Counselor



Building Strong Marriagesby Dr. Brian Campbell, Copyright 1993Key Words:Spiritual…Prayerful…Loving…Sensitive…Cooperative…Flexible…Hopeful….ReasonableBalanced……Mature…..Bold/Courageous……Positive……Honest/Truthful……Tolerant……PerspectivePresent Minded……Patient……Kind……Forgiving……Humble…..Peaceful……Trusting……SacrificialSpiritual:Help each other focus on spiritual things and not just on earthly, fleshly, things. Keep one eye looking up.Prayerful:Pray together. Pray for each other and for yourself. Do not give up on prayer. Loving:Do everything in love. Ask yourself whether your thoughts and behaviors are loving.Sensitive:Try to be sensitive to your mate’s needs and wants and not just your own. Learn to listen for feelings, emotions, frustrations, vulnerabilities, and fears.Cooperative:Cooperate where possible to get things done and to meet each other’s needs and the needs of the family.Flexible:Expect problems, irregularities, and inconsistencies. Try to be flexible in your thinking. Learn to adjust and adapt.Hopeful:Even when things look dark, help each other remain hopeful that things can and will change and improve. “Love always hopes.”Reasonable: Expect and encourage each other to be reasonable in thinking and actions. How would a reasonable person think or act in this situation? What would Jesus do?Balanced:Help each other find balance and avoid extremes in all areas, including thinking and actions.Mature:Expect each other to think and act in mature, adult-like ways. Give up childish ways such as tantrums, insisting on your own, way, screaming and yelling, etc.Bold/Courageous: Encourage each other to confront, not avoid, problems or stressors.Positive:Help each other focus on whatever is true, noble, right, pure, lovely. Encourage each other to stay focused on the positive side of life. Honest/Truthful: Be honest with each other. Do not lie to each other or attempt to deceive.Tolerant:Expect and acknowledge differences in each other. Do not try to make your mate exactly like you. Agree to disagree on some things.Perspective: Help each other keep things in perspective. Encourage each other to stand back and look at the big picture.Present Minded: Help each other focus on the present and not dwell on the past or worry needlessly about the future.Patient:Love is patient. Be patient with each other. Change takes time. Don’t give up.Kind:Be kind to each other. Treat each other as you yourself would like to be treated.Forgiving:Love keeps no record or wrongs. Learn to apologize. Learn to forgive each other. Don’t hold on to past hurts.Humble:Acknowledge your own faults and limitations. Don’t keep focusing on the problems of your mate.Peaceful:Seek to have a peaceful house. Do not be quickly provoked to anger. Avoid unnecessary strife.Trusting:Learn to trust each other. Try to keep your promises. But, remember that people are not perfect.Sacrificial: Think of your mate and not just yourself. Avoid being self-centered. Sacrifice your time, energy, etc., for the good of your marriage and your family. ................
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