How to Write Your Online Dating Profile - This Is Trouble

How to Write Your Online Dating Profile

Written primarily about OKCupid, but can be used across all platforms.

The first thing you must do when you create your OKCupid profile is pick a username. Granted, some of you probably already have active profiles prior to purchasing this book, but don't sweat it. This is the least important part of your profile, but you do want it to be congruent with the rest of your profile.

Congruent means your username shouldn't be something lame or cheesy ? use your best judgment. If you love snowboarding, using the username "sn0boarder77" is a clich?, so put a little effort into the matter. It is unlikely that a girl will actually hold that against you, but remember that your username is the first thing that they see along with your picture.

I've always had a profile that skirts the line of being a charming bastard. Therefore, I've had a lot of success with usernames along the lines of:

ImAPrincess CupidPlayer CassanovaCupid Troublemaker

I have also run profiles without any sort of attention grabbing username, and I've never seen a large enough drop off in response rates to warrant running a test to see the effectiveness of usernames. What I will say is that usernames like I've listed above will give girls a conversation starter with you if they are so inclined, and they will often bring it up as a way of establishing rapport with you once you've started a conversation.

Granted, they will likely be poking fun at you, but this is a great opportunity to make fun of yourself, establishing attraction and outcome independence with her. In today's world of men who are "sensitive", being able to have a bit of self-depreciating humor shows that you don't take yourself too seriously ? and you shouldn't give the impression that you are treating online dating like a life or death matter.

Once you've selected a username (a more tedious process now, thanks to the high expectations this book sets), it's time to start filling out the rest of your textual profile

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(questions, photos, and more are covered in depth in the next chapters). To start, I'm going to show exactly what I have written in my current profile. Please do not copy this word for word. I don't say this as a way to be selfish or keep all the goodies to myself. After all, you did pay for this book. I simply don't want hundreds and thousands of young men across the world using this exact profile. Sooner or later, women will catch on and you will get called out. Then all of us will have to write new profiles. In regards to your profile, congruency is vital. If you utilize a sarcastic and cocky profile like I do, your messages need to match that. If that attitude isn't you in real life, she will be confused when you meet up for the first date. Be prepared to back up what your profile states.

I'll admit, I've used parts of other profiles I've seen referenced over the years to craft this one ? specifically the first two paragraphs. I strongly encourage you to use Cracking OKCupid and other resources to piece together a beginning profile. In no way whatsoever should you ever copy and paste a profile, or even parts of one, exactly word for word, for the reasons listed above.

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You probably made the assumption this is the `My self-summary' section, and are wondering where the rest of my profile is. Well, that section is the only part of my profile that I have filled out. The concept of "less is more" will repeatedly show itself throughout the contents of this book. You certainly can fill out the rest of your profile, and I'm going to help you do it. I have had success both ways, but this is how I currently run my profile.

The other sections of an OKCupid profile are listed below. Filling out the summary is the most important part of a good profile. As you read the breakdowns of what you should and shouldn't write in the respective sections, you will notice a common theme. If you have something that is cool or interesting to share, you should say it. If you don't, then you should either spin that statement to be more positive or substitute sarcasm as necessary.

OKCUPID PROFILE SECTIONS

What I'm doing with my life I'm really good at Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food The six things I could never do without I spend a lot of time thinking about On a typical Friday night I am You should message me if

What I'm doing with my life

This is a section that is set up to make men fail. There is no universally "correct" answer. A profession that's a jackpot for a girl who's a teacher would be chump change for the girl who is a lawyer. As I discuss later in this book, lying or slightly exaggerating the truth is completely fair game. If you're in college studying aerospace engineering, write that you are hoping to work at NASA in the near future. If you are a poor musician performing on the street, write that you are working on an album. If you flip burgers, say that you're a chef.

The trick to all of these "lies" is to own them and hold your frame.

In the case that you have a solid and stable career that would impresses girls, you can mention it, but don't make a big deal out of it. Stating that you're a doctor is okay, and you could even go into the specifics of your practice. However, writing that you are the

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number one brain surgeon in California and you save four lives a day is overkill and will make you look like an insecure tool.

For your reference, here are careers that will generally be attractive to women.

Doctors Lawyers Engineers (provided you make good money and aren't "uber" geeky) Firemen Police officers Personal trainers Musicians and artists, though these are hit or miss Most positions where there is money and/or power involved

I'm really good at

This section is dedicated to your hobbies, interests, and any special talents you may possess. Every girl is going to have different qualities that she finds attractive in a man, as I explain in the "Myths" chapter of this book. Don't fret too much about what you put here. If you have cool hobbies or talents, you should share them. Some examples:

Musical instruments Artistic talents Dancing Sports Cooking Juggling, or other silly tricks

Make sure you elaborate on what you are really good at. Just saying that you like to play pickup basketball with your friends is dull, but if you elaborate it and tell a story about how you hit a half-court buzzer beater in 5th grade and that it is your career highlight, the section becomes much more interesting.

If you need a starting point, here is what I would personally write.

I feel like this section would be far more entertaining if it was what I'm not good at, but here goes.

I've played guitar for ten years now, but the only song I'm really good at playing is Wonderwall. I raced go karts growing up (yes, it's a real thing!) and occasionally like to

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go drifting around parking lots in the dead of night. I'm also really good at saying the alphabet backwards.

Note that talking about how you won a video game championship playing Call of Duty is not something that will inspire moist vaginas.

Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food

If you are going to skip a section, this is it. In fact, I recommend you do. The talk about your "favorites" is what boring men talk about when they run out of things to say on a date. On top of that, it peers too far into your personal life, potentially killing all the mystery about yourself before a girl has a chance to meet you. These are topics that people who are dating eventually begin to discover about each other because they genuinely like each other, not something that should be read on an iPhone screen as a resume.

If you insist on filling this part out, make sure it's not lame, but is truthful ? because if she brings it up, you need to be able to hold a conversation about it. This means no mention of Twilight, The Notebook, Sex and the City, Nicki Minaj, or cupcakes.

The six things I could never do without

First off, mentioning family, friends, air, water, food (as a general term), iPhones, music and love are all extremely clich?, so don't do it. Also pass on mentioning sex as one of the six things you couldn't do without, because it makes you look desperate.

These six items should be personal to you, not a life necessity, which most of the above "don'ts" are. For example, here is what I've written. Remember, I like to be very sarcastic.

You mean, besides Taylor Swift and 50 Shades of Grey?

Puppies, because who doesn't love fucking puppies My guitar That little voice in my head that tells me not to do stupid things A suga mama ...you?

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