Finishing Well



The 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace

Empowering Organizations By Encouraging People

by Chapman and White

|Chap |Page |Excerpt |

|Note | |The five languages discussed are: |

| | |words of appreciation (chapter 3) |

| | |quality time (chapter 4) |

| | |acts of service (chapter 5) |

| | |tangible gifts (chapter 6) |

| | |physical touch (chapter 7) |

|Note | |A few other key chapters are: |

| | |chapter 10 – difference between appreciation and recognition |

| | |chapter 12 – volunteer in the organization |

| | |chapter 13 – when the language of appreciation changes |

| | |chapter 15 – what if there are people you don’t appreciate? |

|Intro |21 |Research has found: |

| | |effective appreciation is individualized and delivered personally |

| | |the recipient must view the appreciation as valuable to have an impact |

| | |workers “burn out” when not appreciated or supported by supervisors |

| | |appreciation done correctly improves the entire work climate |

|2 |30 |Why appreciate employees? (After all, they get paid!): |

| | |businesses are in a competitive market demanding the most productivity for the least money |

| | |retaining top employees takes more than money (only 12% of employees leave their jobs for more money) |

| | |there is great and varied costs to a company when an employee leaves |

|2 |39 |Job satisfaction increases with: |

| | |complexity of work (more complexity gives more satisfaction) |

| | |financial pay |

| | |general work conditions |

| | |recognition |

| | |able to use one’s skills and talents |

| | |perception that one’s work is important and valued |

| | |quality of interpersonal relationships at work |

| | |coworker satisfaction |

| | |decision-making control |

| | |level of responsibility |

| | |workload |

|3 |48 |Words of affirmation verbally affirm positive characteristics of a person. |

|3 |48 |Praise can be directed at: |

| | |the person |

| | |their character |

| | |their accomplishments |

| | |personality |

| | |But in every case it must be specific, not general. (not “Nice job, team!”) |

|3 |51 |No praise is better than insincere praise. |

|3 |53 |Praise has its place: |

| | |one-to-one |

| | |in front of a small group that works closely together |

| | |written note |

| | |maybe in public (find out what the person likes) |

|4 |62 |The desire for quality time is not a need to be “friends” or score points, but rather to feel appreciated and valued in the team. |

|4 |64 |Quality time is more about hearing than speaking. |

|4 |64 |keys to listening: |

| | |good eye contact |

| | |don’t multitask |

| | |listen for feeling as well as words |

| | |if you disagree with their words, affirm their feelings before discussing their words |

| | |watch body language |

| | |don’t interrupt |

|4 |67 |Quality time may be “doing together” more than listening, such as: |

| | |conferences together |

| | |going to eat |

| | |entertainment (sports, arts, etc.) |

| | |home improvement projects |

| | |walk during lunch |

|4 |68 |Quality time may also be small group “tell me what you’re thinking” sessions. |

|4 |69 |Volunteers who value quality time usually find two factors important: |

| | |they believe what they are doing is making a difference |

| | |their contributions are recognized and appreciated |

|4 |72 |“Making an appearance” is negative quality time. It shows I am more interested and engaged with other things. |

|5 |78 |Acts of service (helping with tasks) is especially appreciated when it is offered without solicitation. |

|5 |79 |Helping others in the work place is against the headwind of “take care of #1”. |

|5 |80 |Neglecting my own work to help others, and then others must do my work, is not an overall winning scenario. |

|5 |80 |Some guidelines for acts of service: |

| | |ask first if they could use my help |

| | |do it without expectation of repayment |

| | |don’t force others to help |

| | |help with a positive attitude |

| | |do it their way and to their standards |

| | |promise less than you will deliver (good advice for dealing with customers as well) |

| | |customize the service to the workplace |

|6 |92 |Giving the same gift to all employees is not effective. Give gifts to those who value them, and give gifts the employee values. |

|6 |94 |The most valued gifts are usually experiences; tickets and gift cards lead the list. |

|6 |95 |A handwritten note shows a personal investment of time and effort. |

|6 |96 |Receiving the gift of time off work (leave early or come late) can be very effective. |

|7 | |Physical touch was not the top language of appreciation for anyone surveyed. Quick, implicit touches are almost universally |

| | |accepted. (hand shake or high five) However, some people are highly sensitive to touch of any kind. Respect people’s |

| | |boundaries; watch how people use touch in their interactions with others. |

|8 | |The Motivating By Appreciation (MBA) survey can be taken by employees to identify their preferred style of appreciation. The |

| | |survey is offered at no charge when this book is purchased. The results also provides the means to create an “Action Checklist” |

| | |identifying specific actions that co-workers can take that will best show their appreciation to you. |

|9 | |My least important language of appreciation may be co-workers most important language. I am prone to not “speak” my least |

| | |important language to others unless I intentionally seek what is important to them. |

|10 |141 |There is a distinct difference between recognitions and appreciation. Appreciation can happen all the time and to everyone |

| | |whereas recognition singles out certain people’s occasional achievements. |

|10 |142 |Recognition misses those who “hear” the languages of Quality Time or Acts of Service. Plus, some people don’t like public |

| | |recognition. Organization leaders must realize that the public recognition they love is not always loved by others. |

|10 |144 |Appreciation and encouragement holds much greater potential for people than recognition. |

|11 |156 |Just taking the Motivating By Appreciation (MBA) survey makes workers feel more appreciated. |

|12 |170 |The reason a person starts to volunteer is often very different from why they continue volunteering. Most people continue |

| | |volunteering for one of two reasons: social connectedness and perceived impact. |

|12 |172 |Volunteers want to makes a positive difference in the lives of others. The supervisor must explain the value of the volunteers’ |

| | |service if difference-making takes a long time. |

|13 |183 |Time and circumstances can upgrade the secondary language to the primary language for a temporary period. Also, the specific acts|

| | |in that language may vary throughout time. |

|13 |189 |When I have an adequate supply of my primary language, I find deep appreciation for displays of my secondary language. |

|13 |189 |Whether I treasure my primary or secondary language may vary with who is “speaking” it – spouse, boss, co-worker, etc. It is my |

| | |job to tell them. |

|13 |190 |Life is not static. I must communicate changes with the people around me. |

|13 |198 |There are challenges that hinder appreciation expressions: |

| | |too busy |

| | |believing that showing appreciation is unnecessary |

| | |overwhelmed with other responsibilities |

| | |organizational structures that hinder communication |

| | |showing appreciation feels uncomfortable |

| | |it seems stupid or “soft” (This is especially true if you have a history of being stingy with appreciation. Doing something new |

| | |will feel strange, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t worth doing.) |

|15 |215 |Sometimes I may not actually appreciate co-workers. If I don’t appreciate co-workers it is either their problem or mine. |

|15 |216 |Are my expectations reasonable for each individual? It is possible to maintain high standards while lowering expectations. Is it|

| | |a reasonable expectation that 100% of employees will have 100% quality and 100% efficiency for 100% of the time? |

|15 |218 |My dissatisfaction may come from a personality conflict, not a deficit in their work. Do I want everyone to be a clone of me? |

|15 |219 |Do I know what I’m talking about? Have I done their job as current situations demand? Do I know everything that is happening to |

| | |them personally? |

|15 |220 |Are they having personal problems? Family? Health? Did they carry in attitudes that need exposed, examined, and replaced? |

|15 |222 |Have they received the training and coaching and modeling required for successful performance in your company’s environment? |

|15 |223 |Every employee needs regular review, feedback, instruction, and correction. People do what is inspected, not always what is |

| | |expected. |

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